Did you ever hear of little green men who do funny
things to people and mix things up?
Grandma and Grandpa have some of these little
green men around their house. At least that‘s what
Grandpa always says when something went wrong and
Grandma says:
‖Who did THAT ??‖
Grandpa always says, ―It‘s the little green men…‖
―Foo,‖ says Grandma, ―YOU couldn‘t tell little
green men from little pink men—or purple ones
either!‖
Now Grandpa sometimes mixes up pink and
green and purple… but he always replies,
―Who ever heard of pink men? And purple men
are ri-dic-u-lous. No, it‘s little green men who
cause all the mischief…‖
―How do your little green men look?‖
Grandmother asked.
Grandpa closes his eyes and rubs his nose and
thinks before he answers,
―They are very little, and they wear little green
kipot with a green feather sticking out. They have
little tummies and short legs. They have green eyes
and they grin and sometimes, I‘m sorry to say, they
stick out their tongues. They laugh and jump up and
down.‖
―Foo,‖ says Grandma, ―I don‘t think you ever saw
them.
Grandpa says nothing. He pulled his nose and
shook his head.
One night Grandma woke Grandpa up to tell
him that there were funny noises at the window.
Grandpa was asleep. He half-opened one eye and said
―Um-m. It‘s the little green men. They are singing
zemirot.‖
But do you think they were nice zemirot that
people sing Erev Shabbat ? No, the little green men
were yowling and mewing. One little green man
made believe he was a dog and he barked. Another
was banging a spoon on an empty can. They were
tickling and pinching one another.
What a hullabaloo!
They made so much noise that Grandpa jumped
out of bed, raised the window and yelled at them,
―YOOKS‖ he shouted, ―yooks, yooks.‖
The little green men disappeared. There was
silence. Grandpa closed the window and jumped back
into bed.
Grandma asked, ―Well, did you see the little
green men?‖
―No,‖ said Grandpa, ―I was so sleepy that I had
my eyes closed all the time.‖
―What was that silly word you said to them?‖ she
asked.
―Oh,‖ said Grandpa, ―that is not a silly word. It‘s
‗yooks‘. That is the word that my father told me to
say to chase away dogs and cats and …little green
men.‖
Now it became so quiet that Grandma could
not sleep. So she got up and went to the kitchen
where she had some warm milk. Then she returned to
bed.
Grandpa was fast asleep…
She leaned over Grandpa and said softly,
―Yooks, yooks to you my dear.‖
But Grandpa remained fast asleep, except that his nose
twitched…
One day the little green men came back! They
got into the bathroom and mixed up all the tubes!
They put the toothpaste where the shampoo as
supposed to be…
That night Grandma went to brush her teeth…
She spread white paste on her toothbrush and
brushed her teeth. She looked in the mirror and saw
white bubbles foaming around her mouth! Her chin
was covered with white soapy bubbles! She tasted a
funny taste in her mouth!
Grandma became frightened and ran into the
bedroom where Grandpa was reading a Big Book.
Grandma couldn‘t speak – all she could say was,
―Um, mum, mum....‖
Grandpa looked up, he yelled ―Oy,
what HAPPENED to you???‖
and jumped out of bed. He grabbed a towel and
started to mop Grandma‘s face.
Grandma could only say, ―Um, umm ---PFUI!‖
Grandpa took her back to the bathroom and
made her rinse her mouth. He said to Grandma,
―Let me see your toothpaste.‖
Grandma gave him the tube – it was shampoo!
―Oh, oh,‖ said Grandpa ―the little green men are
back again!‖
Grandma did not answer. All she could say was
―Fooey, fooey. Foo!‖
Then Grandma and Grandpa began to laugh…
They laughed so hard they scared all the little green
men away...
But they came back again to do more
mischief…and such mischief!
They put milk spoons into the meat drawer.
They put a parve knife into the milk drawer.
They hid Grandma‘s medium-size pot.
One day they mixed up Grandpa‘s socks and
Grandpa went to work wearing one brown sock and
one blue sock…
Erev Shabbat Grandma decided to bake hallah.
She made dough by mixing flour and water and eggs
and salt and sugar. She mixed in yeast to make it rise
so that it would be fluffy and yummy-tasting.
When it was all mixed, Grandma put the dough
in a warm place to rise.
Now Grandma did not know the little green
men had gotten into the yeast…
After a while Grandma mixed the dough again,
kneading and patting it to make it into hallot.
Grandma said to herself,
―The yeast didn‘t raise the dough. Maybe it
should be in a warmer place. I shall put it in the oven
and it will rise as it bakes in the warm oven.‖
So Grandma kneaded and patted the dough and
shaped it into hallot and put them into the hot oven.
Grandpa came home and smelled the delicious
odor of fresh bread. He peeked into the oven and
didn‘t see anything. He said to Grandma,
―I smell baking bread, but there is no bread in
the oven.‖
Grandma said: ―Well, if you would look instead
of sniff , you would see the hallot.‖
Grandma looked into the oven and exclaimed,
―O, my! The yeast did not rise! My hallot are like
PANCAKES.‖
―It‘s the little green men again, ‖ Grandpa said
―They must have gotten into the yeast.‖
Grandma was very unhappy but Grandpa took a
piece of the pancake-hallah. He made a bracha and
ate and said.
― little green men or no little green men, this funny
hallah is yummy!‖ But Grandma was still unhappy…
―That is not hallah,
that is not a pancake,
it is not a cookie.
It is a mistake.‖
―What mistake did you make ?‖ Grandpa asked.
Grandma replied,
―I forgot to use warm water to melt the yeast…‖
Grandpa pulled his nose, he rubbed his head and
said. ―Oh, I thought it was the little green men who
got into the yeast…‖
―No, no,‖ said Grandma,
―If we take care,
there will not be mistakes…
and if there are no mistakes,
then there are
no little green men!‖
Grandma and Grandpa laughed and said,
―If we make a mistake we have to correct it ourselves
and not blame it on the little green men…‖
Grandpa pulled his nose very gently and whispered,
―Yooks, Yooks Yooks…‖
The Little Green Men
By Grandpa
Elihu Rosenberg
Illustrations by Leora Moshe
With love for my dear wife, Grandma Julia
to our dear grandchildren
Yehoshua
Mira Esther
Rivka Becky
Yosefa
Yonah
Pinchas Shimshon
Avital
Pnina
Bracha Simcha
Aderet Ita
Leana
Aviel