Are You Too Protective?
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Are You Too Protective? Between child safety and there are too protective of the thin boundary. Parents who are successful is to know when to step back and let the kids fly so he was ready. At times like this, it was increasingly difficult to keep the child in order to be healthy and safe. Small infant at home had already been surrounded by a variety of hazards, from sharp objects, paint containing lead, until the mysterious viruses cause dangerous diseases. In line with the growth of your child, you worry too grown up with. To grow into a healthy child well-being, your children need attention and protection. Attention and excessive protection that makes the child difficult to develop confidence and toughness that is needed in the future. Therefore, as a parent, you are required to find a balance between not protect, where your kids actually experience something they are not ready to face. And so to protect, eliminate important opportunities for development and undermine their ability to negotiate with the challenges of life. Keep in mind, a successful parent is to educate children who can take care of himself. For that, you must allow your child to test its wings. You do not push it out of the nest before he prepared to fly. You also do not arrest him when he's ready. The following wise step for parents in providing protection in line with the growth and age of children, from Dr. Ava L. Siegler, Ph.D., child psychologist in the book The Essential Guide to the New Adolescence. 1. Birth to 1.5 years: Babies need total involvement from your I am always calm my baby when she cried. But my husband says, I'm too protective and that I should let it be more powerful and not spoiled. Is he right? A baby is still dependent on persuasion and entertainment you to feel comfortable. Trying to be tougher on infants can lead to results contrary to what you want, which is a dependent child and a fussy than a quiet baby who grew to blend in with its surroundings. Listen carefully to the signals your baby can help you find the necessary level of involvement from you. If he just whines, you may be able to use your voice to calm him down. (Oh, darling, Mummy's here, really. After doing the dishes. Mami remember, there is a sweet boy Mummy there.) When you start training your baby motor skills (sitting, crawling, and walking), you may be difficult to determine the boundaries between too protective and not protective. Together baby, security is always a priority, but keep in mind also that the baby needs to take some risks to grow and develop. If your child is 7-month-old stood clinging to the bars of the crib, she wanted to tell you that he is ready to accept the physical challenge, although she still needs your help to be able to sit back. 2. 1.5 to 3 years: Children under five are curious to learn to be careful My daughter, 2 years, enjoyed playing in the sandbox at the park. But according to my neighbor, I should be banned because it did not know what he would find there. Are my neighbors worry that correct? Safety is the most important issue for parents who have young children under 3 years due to the
motion agility. When your toddler start exploring, you must provide full supervision and care. However, too many 'no' at the age child who is still too early could hinder the curiosity which is the impetus to learn, and affects the normal motivation to encourage them to excel. So, how do I encourage autonomy while watching the children's safety? One solution is to use the intelligence of your child's development to teach him about the prudence reasonable and appropriate. Rather than just yelling, 'Do not! " at the time your child took the cup, you should be able to explain, "The coffee was hot, can make your hands hurt. Something that heat, can make you sick, like a hot stove, light a candle, and the bright lights". If you try to protect your child with a minute never let go of your control, you are too protective. You make it too dependent on you to process information about the situation around and did not encourage them to think for themselves through new situations. The kids just like us, learn through experience. Another way to create a safe environment for children, for example, rather than forbid playing in the sandbox, it's better to clean sand from dirt or dangerous objects before he got in the tub or instead of saying 'no! " every time he pulled the cable electrical equipment, better secure your room so your child free to explore without fear of facing problems. Your child will mature more quickly if you provide a few opportunities for safe freedom but remain under supervision. 3. 3 to 6 years: pre-school children should learn important life lessons I'm afraid, my son, 4 years old, was too friendly. Is wise if I was more hard on her? At this age, your child's personality begins to form and can be used as benchmarks to determine the type of involvement needed from you. In physical problems, for example, children who are brave and can not quiet may need your help to learn how to control his impulses. (The leap was too high. And I think, you could fall in the cement. So, try to jump on the grass only). Timid child needs your encouragement to believe in his physical abilities. (The leap was high. But I think it would be safe because you would land in the sand. If you want to try, I will welcome you if you fall). In social problems, shy child may need encouragement to talk. (Mr. Toni is very happy when you said hello. He was really pleased with you). Children who are too friendly might need to be taught to limit its hospitality. (You can just say good morning. But it can not sit in the lap of a man who had known.) This is the age where the social skills your child needs polishing. He still requires you to adjust the schedule to play and its activities. But do not meddle and control of their game. Every time you step back, you help your child to govern themselves. Because your child is old enough to spend time with other adults (neighbors, teachers, shopkeepers, etc.), but still too easy to lie, this is the best time to inculcate the basic rules of safety itself. (Do not talk to strangers, even if they ask for help once. Do not accept food or drink from anyone you do not know. Do not stand at the door of a stranger's car. Do not go anywhere with anyone without my permission, although he said , he will take you to meet with me). The best way to help your child absorb this information is through role playing. Ask him, for example, there is a teenager you do not know for help look for a lost kitten? What would you do? Tell your child directly what to do when faced with this situation. Quick run and find an adult you know or the police. 4. 6 to 9 years: school-age children to think for themselves
When we help children with homework, I wonder, whether aid is more good or more bad? The years between the ages of 6 and 9 is an important period for intellectual achievement and social skills. When children enter primary school, you'll push it to try hard to learn and excel. But remember, you're the child who is now responsible for learning, not you. Especially homework, may be a cause of war between the children who procrastinate with anxious parents. Parents who are too ambitious for their children usually become concerned with their children kenerja until they do her chores. This not only makes a child feel worthless effort, but also makes the teacher so do not know the actual development of the child. Which do not yet understand and which has yanng. This is also a time for you to no longer set the time to play or play with anyone. Encourage your child to create their own plans. (There's a new movie at the mall. Why do not you take Tessa to go with us? After that, we can eat pizza together). In this way, the message you want to say is that it is time for him to manage your own and run everything for yourself. 5. 9 to 12 years: pre-adolescent child protection challenge you My child, age 10, delighted in the internet space and I'm concerned, he saw something inappropriate. Do I need to limit or forbid? According to Drs. Ava, as children approach adolescence, is normal if they reject your efforts to protect them. They're not going to fight, but the exercise regulate themselves without your intervention. An important development as a step towards the autonomy of adulthood. You still have to pay attention to the problem of the Internet that continues to overshadow the life of preadolescent children from too much stimulation, without limitation or restriction, so they they can freely see what they want. Indeed, you can buy filtering software for electronic information is dangerous, but the best way to overcome this problem is to try to get your child pre teens use the internet for something useful, or at least to something decent and reasonable. At this time, more than ever, you must bring your expectations to your children, reaffirming values and your standards. But it is still important to let your child's pre-teens take chances and possibility of making mistakes. A large amount of protection that is often followed by the least amount of freedom at this age can lead to action by Dr. Ava called or defy lie (lie or against). Restriction does not make sense to make your child avoid or do not want to publicly confess. This can create an atmosphere of mutual distrust and conflict within the family. What's worse is, too provide protection at this age can result in pre-adolescent boy who was so dependent on his family, to not be separated from his family. Moreover, it can not create new relationships with children his age or build a character that is required is an important development in adolescence. Taken from: Aura, 47/Th Edition. VII / ke-3/16 Sunday? December 22, 2004