Relationships and the Bible
Dr. Jobe Martin
Biblical Discipleship Ministries
www.biblicaldiscipleship.org
www.evolutionofacreationist.com
BIBLICAL CHRISTIANITY
One Book to obey.
One God to serve.
One Life to live.
– That ye might walk worthy of the Lord
unto all pleasing, being fruitful in
every good work, and increasing in
the knowledge of God….
Colossians 1:10
WWW.BIBLICALDISCIPLESHIP.ORG
MANY PROBLEMS IN THE CHRISTIAN LIFE
RESULT FROM LACK OF:
1. Discipline
2. Commitment
3. Obedience
These surface as:
Pride and Selfishness (Lust)
The Root Cause is:
Lack of Faith and Unbelief
(Rebellion against our Lord)
WWW.BIBLICALDISCIPLESHIP.ORG
WHAT MUST WE DO?
Understand our times and know what
we must do about it!
1 Chronicles 12:32
Surrender our will to the will of God.
Do our work heartily as unto the Lord.
Seek the approval of God, not men.
Live and speak in the power of the H. S.
Live within the framework of Scripture.
WWW.BIBLICALDISCIPLESHIP.ORG
WWW.BIBLICALDISCIPLESHIP.ORG
Behavior
Values
Respect for life Wealth
Truth “Fruit of the Spirit”
Happiness Health Loyalty
www.summit.org
Worldview Summit Ministries
Manitou Spgs. CO
A set of beliefs or ideas / a system of thought
Theology Philosophy
Ethics Biology Psychology Law
Sociology Politics Economics History
“For as he thinketh in his heart, so is he.”
Proverbs 23:7
WWW.BIBLICALDISCIPLESHIP.ORG
WHAT IS A “FOOLISH” YOUTH?
“[He] may be a teenager who has
attended church for years. He is there
because his parents make him come.
He will daydream during most of the
lesson, and the part that he does hear,
he has already made up his mind to
ignore. He is foolish.”
Jerry L. Ross, The Teenage Years of Jesus Christ,
(ISBN 0-87398-898-1) p. 8
WWW.BIBLICALDISCIPLESHIP.ORG
John 12:48
48 He that rejecteth me, and
receiveth not my words,
hath one that judgeth him:
the word that I have spoken,
the same shall judge him in
the last day.
WWW.BIBLICALDISCIPLESHIP.ORG
THE THREE BIG DECISIONS
Who is my Master?
What is my
mission?
Who is my mate?
WWW.BIBLICALDISCIPLESHIP.ORG
THE BIG FLIP-FLOP:
MATE-MISSION-MASTER
Most Christian youth are seeking a
mate and attempting to establish their
mission in life and, then, they begin to
get things in order with their Master,
the Lord Jesus Christ, often after costly
mistakes!
Mistakes happen when God’s intended
order is flip-flopped!
WWW.BIBLICALDISCIPLESHIP.ORG
WHO AM I AS A CHRISTIAN?
Member of the family and household of
God: Galatians 6:10; Ephesians 2:19
Complete in Christ: Colossians 2:10
Possessor of every spiritual blessing:
Ephesians 1:3
Born of the Spirit: John 3:6
Baptized with the Spirit: 1 Cor. 12:13
WWW.BIBLICALDISCIPLESHIP.ORG
Indwelt by the Holy Spirit: Jn. 7:39; Rom.
5:5, 8:9; 1 Cor. 3:16, 6:19; Gal. 4:6; 1 Jn. 3:24
Sealed by the Spirit: Eph. 4:30; 2 Cor. 1:22
Given spiritual gifts: 1 Cor. 12-14; Rom. 12
We are IN CHRIST: Jn. 14:20; Col. 1:27
A member in Christ’s body: 1 Cor. 12:13
A branch in the Vine: John 15:5
WWW.BIBLICALDISCIPLESHIP.ORG
•Recipientof eternal life: John 3:15 and 16,
John 10:28, 1 John 5:11-13
Seated in heavenly places: Eph. 2:6
Minister of the N.T.: 2 Cor. 3:6(KJV)
Ambassador of Christ: 2 Cor. 5:20
A living letter: 2 Cor. 3:3
A minister (servant) of God: 2Cor. 6:4
God’s inheritance: Eph. 1:18
Redeemed: Rom. 3:24; Col. 1:14; 1 Pet. 1:18
WWW.BIBLICALDISCIPLESHIP.ORG
•Christians are God’s “house” on earth:
1 Cor. 3:9; 2 Cor. 5:1
An heir of God: Rom. 8:17; 1 Pet. 1:4
Joint heir of Christ: Rom. 8:17; Heb. 9:15
Have access to God: Rom. 5:2; Eph 2:18;
Heb. 4:16, 10:19
A called and protected people: Titus 2:14,
1 Peter 2:9
Delivered from the power of sin: Rom. 6:2;
Phil. 3:3; Col. 2:11
WWW.BIBLICALDISCIPLESHIP.ORG
• A living stone: Eph. 2:21,22; 1 Pet. 2:5
A sheep in His flock: John 10:27-29
A part of Christ’s bride: Eph. 5:25-27
A priest in God’s Kingdom: 1 Pet. 2:9
A new creature: 2 Cor. 5:17
A child of light: Eph. 5:8; 1 Thess.5:4,5
In the Spirit: Romans 8:9
Positionally glorified: Romans 8:30
WWW.BIBLICALDISCIPLESHIP.ORG
•Delivered from the kingdom of Satan:
Colossians 1:13, 2:15
Foreknown: Acts: 2:23; Rom. 8:29; 1 Pet. 1:2
Elect: Rom. 8:33; Col. 3:12; Tit. 1:1; 1 Pet. 1:2
Predestined: Rom. 8:29; Eph. 1:5,11
Chosen: Matt. 22:14; 1 Pet. 2:4
Called: Matt. 22:14; 1Thess. 5:24
Reconciled by God: 2 Cor. 5:18,19; Col. 1:20
Reconciled to God: Rom. 5:10; 2 Cor.5:20
WWW.BIBLICALDISCIPLESHIP.ORG
•Redeemed how I love to proclaim it,redeemed
by the blood of the lamb! Rom3:24;Col 1:14
All condemnation removed: Jn5:24;Rom8:1
Crucified with Christ: Rom. 6:6; Gal. 6:20
Dead with Christ: Ro 6:8; Col 3:3; 1 Pt 2:24
Buried with Christ: Rom. 6:4; Col. 2:12
Raised with Christ: Rom. 6:4; Col. 3:1
Regenerated: Jn. 13:10; 1 Cor. 6:1; Tit. 3:5
Born Again: Jn. 3:7; 1 Pet. 1:23
WWW.BIBLICALDISCIPLESHIP.ORG
•I am forgiven all my sins!!! Eph. 1:7, 4:32;
Colossians 1:14, 2:13, 3:13
Child of God: Gal 3:26; Jn 1:12; 2Cor 6:18
A New Creation: 2Cor 5:17; Gal 6:15; Eph 2:10
Adopted: Rom. 8:15,23; Eph. 1:5
Acceptable to God: Eph. 1:6; 1 Pet. 2:5
Made Righteous Ro 3:22; 2Cor 5:21; Phil 3:9
Perfected forever: Hebrews 10:14
Justified: Ro 3:24;5:1,9; 8:30; 1Cor 6:11 Tit 3:7
WWW.BIBLICALDISCIPLESHIP.ORG
•We have heavenly citizenship:
Luke 10:20; Eph. 2:13,19; Phil. 3:20
Within the “much more” care of God:
Romans 5:9,10
Object of God’s love: Eph. 2:4, 5:2
Object of God’s power: Eph. 1:19; Phil. 2:13
Object of His faithfulness: Phil 1:6; Heb 13:5,6
Object of God’s peace: John 14:27
Object of God’s consolation: 2Thess 2:16
WWW.BIBLICALDISCIPLESHIP.ORG
•Object of God’s intercession:
Romans 8:34; Hebrews 7:25
Object of God’s grace:
For salvation: Ephesians 2:8,9
For keeping: Rom. 5:2; 1Pet. 1:5
For instruction: Titus 2:12
These are 64 I.D. distinctives of who
we are as Christians.
By the way, to lose our salvation these
would all have to be stripped away.
WWW.BIBLICALDISCIPLESHIP.ORG
THREE WORDS IN THE MIND OF A
BRIDE:
Aisle, Altar, Hymn
I’ll alter him!
No you won’t!
WWW.BIBLICALDISCIPLESHIP.ORG
A CRUCIAL DAILY PRAYER:
In the relationships of life let us pray as
Jesus prayed when He faced the cross:
“Heavenly Father, not my will,
but Thy will be done.”
[Luke 22:42 paraphrase]
Is it God’s will or my will?
WWW.BIBLICALDISCIPLESHIP.ORG
WHAT IS INCLUDED IN BIBLICAL
PURITY?
God‘s standard for purity is:
no adultery,
no fornication,
no lust,
no defrauding.
Virginity doesn‘t necessarily mean purity.
A virgin man or woman can lust, defraud, etc,
WWW.BIBLICALDISCIPLESHIP.ORG
PROVERBS 31:12
In speaking of the relationship of
the wife to her husband, Proverbs
says:
“She will do him good and not
evil all the days of her life.”
Your “single” days are included in
“all the days” of your life!
WWW.BIBLICALDISCIPLESHIP.ORG
GENESIS 2:24, 25
―Therefore shall a man leave his father and his
mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they
shall be one flesh. And they were both naked,
the man and his wife, and were not ashamed.‖
―naked‖ = transparent, open, honest, laid bare,
unselfish….
God‘s original plan for marriage: husband and
wife unselfishly loving their Lord and each
other. NO SELFISHNESS!!!
WWW.BIBLICALDISCIPLESHIP.ORG
Does the Bible refute Evolution?
Jesus, the Creator Himself, refutes the
molecules to man hypothesis by saying:
“But from the beginning of the creation God
made them male and female.” Mark 10:6
Is Jesus speaking of male and female
bacteria?
What is the context of Mark 10?
The context is divorce. Do bacteria get
divorces?= From the Beginning: Male and
female people
WWW.BIBLICALDISCIPLESHIP.ORG
God says male and female people on earth
from the Beginning.
People from the Beginning!
WHICH DO YOU BELIEVE? 6000 years
PEOPLE AT THE BEGINNING
OR
PEOPLE AT THE END?
People at the end!
4.5 billion years
Evolution says people evolved last and at the
very end (recently).
WWW.BIBLICALDISCIPLESHIP.ORG
MARRIAGE IS NOT A CONTRACT,
BIBLICAL MARRIAGE IS A COVENANT!
A CONTRACT: A COVENANT:
1. Based on distrust: no – 1. Mutual Trust: based
knowledge of other‘s on a personal
character. relationship.
2. Limited liability: – 2. Unlimited Respon-
(terms of the contract). sibility: (never ends).
3. Can be altered (if – 3. Unchangeable: It
conditions change). can‘t be changed
even if conditions
change.
WWW.BIBLICALDISCIPLESHIP.ORG
EPHESIANS 5:31, 32
―For this cause shall a man leave his
father and mother, and shall be joined
unto his wife, and they two shall be one
flesh. This is a great mystery: but I speak
concerning Christ and the church.‖
A biblical marriage is to be an audio-visual
picture to the world of Christ‘s relationship
to His bride, the church. (unbreakable!)
WWW.BIBLICALDISCIPLESHIP.ORG
MARRIAGE PICTURES
SALVATION AND ETERNAL LIFE
GENESIS 2:23:
Adam said about Eve: ―This is now bone of my
bones, and flesh of my flesh.‖
Adam and Eve became ―one flesh.‖ Gen. 2:24
Eve was as much a part of Adam as were his
own bones and flesh.
The only way to separate Adam from his bones
and flesh was by death
Only death could separate Adam and Eve!
WWW.BIBLICALDISCIPLESHIP.ORG
GOD‘S PLAN FOR MARRIAGE:
―‗TIL DEATH DO US PART.‖
God‘s ―Blood Covenant‖ and its permanency is
pictured in the marriage ceremony:
Couples end their vows by saying, ―‗til death do
us part.‖—The blood covenant was binding until
the death of the parties involved.
The husband and wife walk down the aisle
hand in hand symbolizing entrance into a
Biblical Blood Covenant.
WWW.BIBLICALDISCIPLESHIP.ORG
THE IRREVOCABLE
BIBLICAL BLOOD COVENANT:
The Blood Covenant was established as the
two parties would walk hand in hand between
the separated halves of a sacrificed animal.
The wedding guests for bride and groom sit on
opposite sides of the church and the new
couple holds hands and passes down the aisle
between the separated guests, symbolizing the
covenant walk between the two pieces of the
sacrificial animal which establishes an
irrevocable covenant until death.
WWW.BIBLICALDISCIPLESHIP.ORG
―COVENANT‖
HEBREW LANGUAGE DEFINITION:
“BINDING BY PASSING
BETWEEN TWO PIECES
OF FLESH.”
WWW.BIBLICALDISCIPLESHIP.ORG
WHAT ABOUT DATING?
The biblical picture is: Men initiate,
Women respond: that means:
Men lead
Men call, Women wait (trust our Lord)
Men pay the bill.
Men propose.
Feminism has destroyed God‘s created
order---women lead! (Isaiah 3:12)
WWW.BIBLICALDISCIPLESHIP.ORG
GOD’S CREATION ORDER:
God is sovereign and over all.
The man (Adam) is in submission to God.
The woman is in submission to her husband.
The animals are in submission to mankind.
WHEN SIN ENTERED THE RACE OF ADAM:
The woman (Eve) submitted to the animal (Serp
The man (Adam) submitted to his wife (Eve).
God is under all —creation order flip flopped:
animals are more important than people!!!
WWW.BIBLICALDISCIPLESHIP.ORG
WHAT ABOUT DATING?
2 Corinthians 6:14-18:14 Be ye not unequally yoked
together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath
righteousness with unrighteousness? and what
communion hath light with darkness? 15 And what
concord hath Christ with Belial? or what part hath he
that believeth with an infidel? 16 And what agreement
hath the temple of God with idols? for ye are the
temple of the living God; as God hath said, I will dwell
in them, and walk in them; and I will be their God, and
they shall be my people. 17 Wherefore come out from
among them, and be ye separate, saith the Lord, and
touch not the unclean thing; and I will receive you, 18
And will be a Father unto you, and ye shall be my
sons and daughters, saith the Lord Almighty.
WWW.BIBLICALDISCIPLESHIP.ORG
JOHN 14:15
Jesus said:
“If ye love me,
keep my
commandments.”
WWW.BIBLICALDISCIPLESHIP.ORG
Now about DATING?
“It is good for a man not to touch a
woman.” 1 Corinthians 7:1 (KJV)
“It is good for a man not to touch a
woman.” 1 Corinthians 7:1 (NASB)
“It is good for a man not to marry.”
1 Corinthians 7:1 (NIV)
NIV USES DYNAMIC EQUIVALENTS
AND NOT LITERAL TRANSLATION.
WWW.BIBLICALDISCIPLESHIP.ORG
Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man
have his own wife and every woman her own
husband. 1 Corinthians 7:2
1 Cor. 7:1: “man” = “Anthropos” = men or
mankind.
1 Cor. 7:1: “to touch” = “Haptomai” =
touching that lights a fire or kindles a flame
or further relations result.
1 Cor. 7:2: “fornication” = PORNEIA Most
commonly used for immorality among
singles, incest, beastiality, idolatry, not
usually meaning adultery of married ones.
WWW.BIBLICALDISCIPLESHIP.ORG
Singleness is God’s gift to you to equip
you for a life of ministry!!!
Joshua Harris in I Kissed Dating Goodbye
1997, Multnomah Press, writes:
Dating leads to intimacy, but not
necessarily commitment.
Dating tends to skip the “friendship”
stage of a relationship
Dating often mistakes a physical
relationship for love
WWW.BIBLICALDISCIPLESHIP.ORG
•Dating often isolates a couple from other
vital relationships.
Dating, in many cases, distracts young
adults from their primary responsibility
of preparing for the future.
Dating can cause discontentment with
God’s gift of singleness.
Dating creates an artificial environment
for evaluating another person’s
character.
WWW.BIBLICALDISCIPLESHIP.ORG
LUKE 6:46
Jesus said: “And
why call ye me, Lord,
Lord, and do not the
things which I say?”
WWW.BIBLICALDISCIPLESHIP.ORG
RESPONSIBLE OR
IRRESPONSIBLE?
DATING COURTING
Little parent involve Much parent involve
The two alone to- Open accountability
gether much time with others presnt
Recreational enter- Ministry with others
tainment for fun for fun
Can breed Nurtures
irresponsibility responsibility
WWW.BIBLICALDISCIPLESHIP.ORG
MEN: ARE YOU READY TO PROVIDE FOR
AND PROTECT A WIFE?
DATING COURTING
Can be careless Puts guards on you
about situations that to prevent slipping
lead to immorality into immorality
A series of broken Withhold your
relationships does emotional
not help you to learn attachments until
loyalty you are ready to
marry
WWW.BIBLICALDISCIPLESHIP.ORG
LADIES: ARE YOU READY TO MARRY
AND RAISE A FAMILY?
DATING COURTING
Trusts in strong Distrusts emotions
romantic desires to and trusts Godly
guide counsel + planning
Tends toward the Tends toward the in-
physical at the tellectual and
expense of the spiritual and waits
intellectual and for the physical until
spiritual marriage
WWW.BIBLICALDISCIPLESHIP.ORG
1 JOHN 1:4-7
―And these things write we unto you, that your
joy may be full. 5 This then is the message
which we have heard of him, and declare unto
you, that God is light, and in him is no darkness
at all. 6 If we say that we have fellowship with
him, and walk in darkness, we lie, and do not
the truth: 7 But if we walk in the light, as he is in
the light, we have fellowship one with another,
and the blood of Jesus Christ his Son cleanseth
us from all sin.‖
WWW.BIBLICALDISCIPLESHIP.ORG
HEBREWS 11:6
But without faith it is
impossible to please him: for
he that cometh to God must
believe that he is, and that he is
a rewarder of them that
diligently seek him.
WWW.BIBLICALDISCIPLESHIP.ORG
WHAT DOES GOD WANT?
Everyone longs to give themselves
completely to someone, to have a deep
soul relationship with another, to be
loved thoroughly and exclusively; but
God to a Christian says:
No, not until you are satisfied, fulfilled
and content
With being loved by Me alone
WWW.BIBLICALDISCIPLESHIP.ORG
•With giving yourself totally and
unreservedly to Me
With having an intensely personal and
unique relationship with Me alone,
Discovering that only in Me is your
satisfaction to be found
Will you be capable of the perfect
human relationship that I have planned
for you.
You will never be united with another
WWW.BIBLICALDISCIPLESHIP.ORG
•Until you are united with Me,
Exclusive of anyone else or anything else,
Exclusive of any other longings or desires
I want you to stop planning, stop wishing
And allow Me to give you the most thrilling
plan existing
One that you cannot imagine.
I want you to have the best;
WWW.BIBLICALDISCIPLESHIP.ORG
•I WANT YOU TO HAVE THE BEST!
Please allow Me to give it to you.
You just keep watching Me, expecting
the greatest things,
Keep experiencing the satisfaction that I
am
Keep listening and learning the things
that I tell you.
You just wait; Don’t be anxious, don’t
worry, don’t look at the things you want - -
- WWW.BIBLICALDISCIPLESHIP.ORG
•You just keep looking off and away up to
Me or you’ll miss what I want to show you
And then, when you’re ready, I will sur-
prise you with a love far more
wonderful than any you dream of.
You see, until you are ready and until
the one I have for you is ready,
(I am working even at this moment to
have you both ready at the same time)
WWW.BIBLICALDISCIPLESHIP.ORG
•Until you are both satisfied exclusively with
Me and the life I prepared for you,
You won’t be able to experience the love
that exemplifies your relationship with
Me,
And this is the perfect love.
And dear one, I want you to have this
most wonderful love,
I want you to see in the flesh a picture of
your relationship with Me, and to enjoy
materially and concretely- - - -
WWW.BIBLICALDISCIPLESHIP.ORG
•The everlasting union of beauty, perfection
and love that I offer with Myself.
Know that I love you utterly.
I AM GOD.
Believe and be satisfied.
– Author unknown
WWW.BIBLICALDISCIPLESHIP.ORG
COLOSSIANS 3:2-3:
“Set your affection [mind and heart] on
things above, not on things on the
earth. For ye are dead, and your life is
hid with Christ in God.”
Is there anything that could take a
Christian Single’s affection away from a
focused love of our Savior?
WWW.BIBLICALDISCIPLESHIP.ORG
KISSING
Some thoughts by a 1996
Summit Excellence Graduate
“A Student’s Viewpoint”
THE SUMMIT GRAD SAYS:
“Would you kiss this guy if your parents
were watching?
Does kissing cause your relationship to
center in on the Lord Jesus Christ as the
center in your relationship, or on the
physical aspects of your relationship?
Do you really think that kissing is a
necessity to getting to know your friend?
WWW.BIBLICALDISCIPLESHIP.ORG
If you think kissing is a necessity, then you
are centering in more on the physical part
of your relationship instead of the spiritual. I
believe that if you focus your relationship
more on spiritual things - i.e. How does God
want us to be? - then you will have a much
more successful marriage and less chance
of divorce.
I also believe that kissing before marriage
shows a lack of self control and a weak-
WWW.BIBLICALDISCIPLESHIP.ORG
ness to give in to peer pressure. True love is
patient. (1 Corinthians 13)
Is kissing really good for anything
when done before marriage?
Is there really any reason for kissing
other than to please your own physical
desires? Why are you kissing people?
I think the best gift you can give your
mate on your wedding day is the gift of
your first kiss!
WWW.BIBLICALDISCIPLESHIP.ORG
HISTORICALLY, WHEN THE
MINISTER SAID:
“You may now kiss the bride! . . .”
This was the couple’s first kiss!!!!
Our culture says you must try the
physical things to see if you are
compatible. Physical compatibility is
not a problem in marriage. 99.9% of
all people are wired right!!!
WWW.BIBLICALDISCIPLESHIP.ORG
WHY NOT SAVE YOUR KISSES
FOR YOUR MARRIAGE?
Physical involvements before marriage lead
to broken relationships and lengthy
recovery periods during which concen-
tration is difficult, tests are flunked and our
future is thereby limited.
God gives us singleness to equip ourselves
with excellence for a life of ministry for our
dear Lord Jesus. Don’t throw it away!!
WWW.BIBLICALDISCIPLESHIP.ORG
A TEST OF TRUE LOVE:
STOP
EVERYTHING
PHYSICAL UNTIL
MARRIAGE!!!
WWW.BIBLICALDISCIPLESHIP.ORG
1 JOHN 2:15-17
15 Love not the world, neither the things
that are in the world. If any man love the
world, the love of the Father is not in him.
16 For all that is in the world, the lust of
the flesh, and the lust of the eyes, and the
pride of life, is not of the Father, but is of
the world. 17 And the world passeth away,
and the lust thereof: but he that doeth the
will of God abideth for ever.
WWW.BIBLICALDISCIPLESHIP.ORG
AND BY THE WAY:
In 30 years of counseling women the #1
complaint my wife gets is: My husband
is not the spiritual leader in our home!
#2 is: My husband loves his mother
more than he loves me!
Ladies, stop calling the men. Stop
taking the leadership as you court or
date. Stop training men to follow your
lead on dates.
WWW.BIBLICALDISCIPLESHIP.ORG
1998 SUMMIT GRAD:
Are you ready to get married?
What are your goals and plans for the
future?
Will this relationship help us grow
spiritually or take our focus from God?
Will you respect and uphold my beliefs
and morals?
WWW.BIBLICALDISCIPLESHIP.ORG
FEELINGS BEFORE FRIENDSHIP OR
FRIENDSHIP BEFORE FEELINGS
Are you willing to talk to my family?
What are your intentions with this
relationship?
Is this a friendship or an exclusive
“special” friendship?
At any given moment in our
relationship, is our dear Savior pleased
with us?
WWW.BIBLICALDISCIPLESHIP.ORG
JAMES 4:17
“Therefore, to him that knoweth to do
good, and doeth it not, to him it is
sin.”
NUMBERS 32:23b
“. . . be sure your sin will find you
out.”
WWW.BIBLICALDISCIPLESHIP.ORG
KEVIN: 4TH SESSION 1998
“Do not ever tell a woman
you “love her” until you
are ready to say “ will you
marry me?” in the same
breath!!!!!
WWW.BIBLICALDISCIPLESHIP.ORG
REMEMBER: John 12:48
“He that rejecteth me, and
receiveth not my words, hath
one that judgeth him: the word
that I have spoken, the same
shall judge him in the last day.”
WWW.BIBLICALDISCIPLESHIP.ORG
KEY RELATIONSHIP SCRIPTURES
Philippians 2:1-4
1 Peter 3:8, 9
Colossians 3:12-14
Ephesians 4:29-32
Colossians 1:10
WWW.BIBLICALDISCIPLESHIP.ORG
SCRIPTURE AND MARRIAGE
Therefore shall a man leave his father
and his mother, and shall cleave unto
his wife: and they shall be one flesh.
Genesis 2:24
For the Lord, the God of Israel, saith
that He hateth putting
away….(DIVORCE)
Malachi 2:16
WWW.BIBLICALDISCIPLESHIP.ORG
SITUATIONS AND REGULATIONS
Deuteronomy 22:13-21
Situation: A man marries a woman and
discovers she is not a virgin.
Regulation: She was to be stoned to death.
Deuteronomy 22:22
Situation: A man lies with a married woman.
Regulation: They were both to be executed.
WWW.BIBLICALDISCIPLESHIP.ORG
SITUATIONS AND REGULATIONS
Deuteronomy 22:23, 24
Situation: A man lies with a betrothed woman in
the city and she does not cry out for help.
Regulation: They were both to be stoned.
Deuteronomy 22:25-27
Situation: A man forces and lies with a
betrothed woman in a country field, she cries out
but no one hears to help.
Regulation: The man is executed, but no
penalty for the woman.
WWW.BIBLICALDISCIPLESHIP.ORG
SITUATIONS AND REGULATIONS
Deuteronomy 22:28, 29
Situation: A man lays hold and lies with a
virgin who is not betrothed.
Regulation: He must marry her and can
never divorce her.
WWW.BIBLICALDISCIPLESHIP.ORG
Deuteronomy 24:1-4
Situation: A man takes a wife and finds some
―uncleanness‖ in her (This must be something
different from Deut. 22). KJV says: ―Let him
write her a bill of divorcement, and give it in her
hand, and send her out of his house. And when
she is departed out of his house, she may go
and be another man‘s wife.‖
Regulation: If she marries another man and he
dies or he divorces her, her first husband is not
permitted to take her back and remarry her.
WWW.BIBLICALDISCIPLESHIP.ORG
SITUATIONS AND REGULATIONS
SITUATION: Notice a difference in the KJB vs
NASB. KJB seems to give permission for
divorce and remarriage. (―Let him‖ write bill of
divorce, and ―she may‖ remarry)
NASB: ―He writes her a certificate of divorce
and puts it into her hand, and sends her out
from his house, and she leaves his house and
goes and becomes another man‘s wife,...‖
NASB reports situation as something that
happened, but no “let him” or “she may”.
WWW.BIBLICALDISCIPLESHIP.ORG
KJB AND NASB USE SAME HEBREW
TEXT, BUT THE TEXT IS AMBIGUOUS.
The Jewish people have argued about the
meaning of this text down through the
centuries, but the author, Jesus, clarified it
when he was here on earth!
Matthew 19:8
Jesus said, ―Moses because of the hardness of
your hearts suffered you to put away (divorce)
your wives: but from the beginning it was not
so.‖ Jesus says: NO DIVORCING WIVES!
WWW.BIBLICALDISCIPLESHIP.ORG
MATTHEW 5:17-18
Think not that I am come to destroy the
law, or the prophets: I am not come to
destroy, but to fulfill. For verily I say unto
you, Till heaven and earth pass, one jot or
one tittle shall in no wise pass from the
law, till all be fulfilled.
WWW.BIBLICALDISCIPLESHIP.ORG
MATTHEW AND THE EXCEPTION
CLAUSE
Matthew was written to the Jewish mind.
The Jewish people had a custom unique to
them in the Middle East: BETROTHAL
Betrothal was a one year engagement.
Joseph and Mary were Betrothed
(Espoused), were not married and had not
consummated their marriage when Joseph
learned Mary was pregnant.
WWW.BIBLICALDISCIPLESHIP.ORG
DURING BETROTHAL DIVORCE
IS PERMITTED
Now the birth of Jesus Christ was on
this wise: When as his mother Mary
was espoused to Joseph, before they
came together, she was found with
child of the Holy Ghost. Then Joseph
her husband,… not willing to make her
a public example was minded to put her
away (divorce) privily.
Matthew 1:18-19
WWW.BIBLICALDISCIPLESHIP.ORG
BUT WHAT ABOUT THE EXCEPTION
CLAUSE IN MATTHEW?
Matthew 5:31, 32: ―It hath been said,
whosoever shall put away his wife, let him give
her a writing of divorcement: But I say unto you,
that whosoever shall put away his wife, saving
for the cause of fornication, causeth her to
commit adultery: and whosoever shall marry
her that is divorced committeth adultery.‖
―Fornication‖ is Porneia (Greek term).
WWW.BIBLICALDISCIPLESHIP.ORG
ISN‘T FORNICATION THE SAME AS
ADULTERY?
Matthew gives us his commentary on the word
―fornication‖ (porneia) in Matthew 15:19.
―For out of the heart proceed evil thoughts,
murders, adulteries, fornications,…‖
He uses ―porneia‖ three times (Matt.5:32, 15:19
and 19:9). Twice as reason for divorce and
once side by side with adultery. Adultery
happens to married people, fornication to
betrothed (stronger than our ―engagement.‖)
WWW.BIBLICALDISCIPLESHIP.ORG
MATTHEW 19:1-12; (5:31-32)
The Matthew 18 topic is Forgiveness
Jesus said: “Whosoever shall put away
his wife, except it be for fornication,
and shall marry another, committeth
adultery: and whoso marrieth her which
is put away doth commit adultery. His
disciples say unto Him, If the case of
the man be so with his wife, it is not
good to marry.” Matthew 19:9,10
WWW.BIBLICALDISCIPLESHIP.ORG
FORNICATION OR ADULTERY
Porneia is the Greek word for fornication.
Porneia is most commonly used for
immorality among unmarried singles.
Moichao is the Greek word for adultery.
Moichao is most commonly used to refer
to immorality between married people.
The Exception Clause uses ―Porneia.‖
WWW.BIBLICALDISCIPLESHIP.ORG
MATTHEW IS WRITTEN TO THE
JEWISH PEOPLE
Matthew alone has the Exception
Clause.
The Jewish people practiced Betrothal
Luke and Mark are written to Gentiles.
Gentiles did not practice Betrothal!
Mark 10 does not mention “EXCEPTION”
Luke 16 does not mention “EXCEPTION”
DIVORCE IS NEVER AN
OPTION!!!
WWW.BIBLICALDISCIPLESHIP.ORG
GOD’S BEST IS NO DIVORCE,
NO REMARRIAGE!!!
If a man divorces his wife and marries
another woman he commits adultery.
Mark 10:11
If a woman divorces her husband and
marries another man she commits
adultery. Mark 10:12
What do these verses mean?
WWW.BIBLICALDISCIPLESHIP.ORG
A FURTHER COMMENT ON THE MATTHEW
“EXCEPTION” CLAUSE:
A married person who commits
adultery was to be stoned.
Deuteronomy 22:22
Stoned, dead, people do not get
divorced or remarried!!!!!!!!!!!
Matthew 19:9, with the use of “porneia”
must surely be talking about the
betrothal period and not marriage.
WWW.BIBLICALDISCIPLESHIP.ORG
The disciples understood Jesus to say,
“Divorce is not an option.”
That is why the disciples say in Matt. 19:10:
―If the case of the man be so with his wife, it is
not good to marry.‖
In other words the disciples, in the midst of a
Jewish culture that permitted divorce at the
whim of the husband, realized that in God‘s
eyes marriage is ‗til death‘. Marry a loser and
there are no biblical grounds for divorce. So
maybe we better stay single!
WWW.BIBLICALDISCIPLESHIP.ORG
IS REMARRIAGE EVER AN OPTION
FOR A CHRISTIAN?
“For the woman which hath a husband is
bound by law to her husband so long as he
liveth; but if the husband be dead, she is
loosed from the law of her husband. So then
if, while her husband liveth she be married to
another man, she shall be called an
adulteress: but if her husband be dead, she
is free from the law; so that she is no
adulteress, though she be married to another
man.” Romans 7:2,3
WWW.BIBLICALDISCIPLESHIP.ORG
IS REMARRIAGE EVER AN OPTION
FOR A CHRISTIAN?
In regards to younger women whose
husbands have died:
―I will therefore that the younger women
marry, bear children, guide the house, give
none occasion to the adversary to speak
reproachfully. For some are already turned
aside after Satan.‖ 1 Timothy 5:14,15
WWW.BIBLICALDISCIPLESHIP.ORG
God has called us to be
peacemakers
Yet if the unbelieving depart, let him
depart. A brother or a sister is not under
bondage in such cases: but God hath
called us to peace. 1 Corinthians 7:15
The real issue here is that the Christian
should be a peacemaker in the
marriage so that the unbeliever will not
want to leave but to stay and come to
faith!!!
WWW.BIBLICALDISCIPLESHIP.ORG
1 CORINTHIANS 7:15
―…not under bondage.‖ Literal translation:
―has not been enslaved.‖
If the unbeliever insists on leaving, the
believer is not enslaved—you can let them
go, but you are not free to divorce or
remarry.
WWW.BIBLICALDISCIPLESHIP.ORG
MARRIAGE
Genesis 1: God (Elohim) creates the
universe and climaxes that with the
creation of man.
Genesis 2: The Lord God ( Yahweh
Elohim). Yahweh is the covenantal
name of God. In Genesis 2 the
covenant keeping God takes man into
his covenant keeping relationship:
marriage.
WWW.BIBLICALDISCIPLESHIP.ORG
GENSIS 2:24-25
24)“Therefore shall a man leave his father
and his mother and shall cleave unto his
wife: and they shall be one flesh. 25) And
they were both naked, the man and his
wife, and were not ashamed.”
Vs. 24=masculine=men leave momma!!!
Vs. 25=“naked”=open, unguarded, laid
bare, fully transparent=no selfishness!!!
WWW.BIBLICALDISCIPLESHIP.ORG
THE SPIRITUAL TEST!
A FAITH THAT CAN’T BE TESTED
CAN’T BE TRUSTED!
“And the Lord God commanded the
man saying, Of every tree of the garden
thou mayest freely eat.”
Genesis 2:16
Millions of perfectly legitimate options
of things to do, but Adam and Eve
begin to zero in on the forbidden fruit.
WWW.BIBLICALDISCIPLESHIP.ORG
THE SPIRITUAL TEST!
“But of the tree of the knowledge of good
and evil, thou shalt not eat of it: for in the
day that thou eatest thereof thou shalt
surely die.” Genesis 2:17
Adam had the choice--to serve God or to
serve self =satisfying the lust of the eyes,
the lust of the flesh and the pride of life.
Adam needed help to face this spiritual test.
WWW.BIBLICALDISCIPLESHIP.ORG
GENESIS 2:18
“And the Lord God said, It is not good that the
man should be alone; I will make a help meet
for him.”
The serpent spoke to the woman, she ate and
the creative order was flip-flopped.
ORDER = God, in submission is man;then in
submission= woman; in submission=animals
DISORDER = animal, woman, man, God
WWW.BIBLICALDISCIPLESHIP.ORG
DISORDER
The serpent deceives the woman and she
has submitted to the animal. Then Adam,
the man, submits to the woman, his wife.
Instead of man submitting to God and the
woman submitting to her husband and
the animal submitting to people the order
is flip-flopped. The woman submits to the
animal, Adam to Eve, God is out!!
WWW.BIBLICALDISCIPLESHIP.ORG
HOW DID THIS DOWNWARD SPIRAL
GET GOING?
The serpent said, “Yea, hath God said, Ye
shall not eat of every tree of the garden?”
Genesis 3:1b
In other words you can’t really trust the
Word of God even tho He said regarding
the tree of the knowledge of good and evil
“Thou shalt not eat of it: for in the day
that thou eatest thereof thou shalt surely
die.” Genesis 2:17b
WWW.BIBLICALDISCIPLESHIP.ORG
HOW DID THIS DOWNWARD SPIRAL
GET GOING?
“And the serpent said unto the woman, Ye
shall not surely die (reincarnation). For
God doth know that in the day ye eat (lust
of the flesh) thereof, then your eyes (lust
of the eyes) shall be opened, and ye shall
be as gods (pride of life), knowing good
and evil” Genesis 3:4-5
Satan is the father of lies! John 8:44
WWW.BIBLICALDISCIPLESHIP.ORG
HOW DID THIS DOWNWARD SPIRAL
GET GOING?
“And when the woman saw that the tree
was good for food (lust of flesh), and
that it was pleasant to the eyes (lust of
eyes), and a tree to be desired to make
one wise (pride of life), she took of the
fruit thereof and did eat, and gave also
unto her husband with her; and he did
eat. Genesis 3:6
Adam is with Eve, but totally passive!!!!
WWW.BIBLICALDISCIPLESHIP.ORG
CONSEQUENCES
And unto Adam he said, Because thou
hast hearkened unto the voice of thy
wife, and hast eaten of the tree, of
which I commanded thee, saying, Thou
shalt not eat of it: cursed is the ground
for thy sake; in sorrow shalt thou eat of
it all the days of thy life; thorns and
thistles shall it bring forth to thee….”
Genesis 3:17-18
WWW.BIBLICALDISCIPLESHIP.ORG
CONSEQUENCES
“Unto the woman he said, I will greatly
multiply thy sorrow (pain,NAS) and thy
conception; in sorrow (pain,NAS) thou
shalt bring forth children; and thy
desire shall be to thy husband, and he
shall rule over thee.” Genesis 3:16
Genesis 4:7=“desire”=to overrule,
overpower or overthrow=wife’s desire
for husband is to overthrow, etc.!
WWW.BIBLICALDISCIPLESHIP.ORG
SOLUTION TO CONSEQUENCES OF
THE FALL
“Husbands, love your wives, even as
Christ also loved the church, and gave
himself for it;…” Ephesians 5:25
“Husbands, love your wives, and be not
bitter against them.” Colossians 3:19
Husbands, give honor unto your wife….
1Peter 3:7
WWW.BIBLICALDISCIPLESHIP.ORG
SOLUTION TO CONSEQUENCES OF
THE FALL
“Wives, submit yourselves unto your
own husbands, as unto the
Lord….Therefore, as the church is
subject to Christ, so let the wives be to
their own husbands in everything.”
Ephesians
5:22,24
“Wives, submit yourselves unto your
own husbands, as is fit in the Lord.”
Colossians
WWW.BIBLICALDISCIPLESHIP.ORG
Family Projects
Compose a definition of success for you
and/or your family made up entirely of
Scripture. ―Success for me/us is….‖
Compose a doctrinal statement of
Scriptures that you and your family will not
compromise.
Start memorizing a chapter of the Bible.
Think of ways to minister to other people.
Purpose to know and share the Gospel.
WWW.BIBLICALDISCIPLESHIP.ORG
OTHER RESOURCES:
Of Knights and Fair Maidens, Jeff and
Danielle Meyers
Best Friends for Life, Michael and Judy
Phillips
Her Hand in Marriage, Douglas Wilson
Passion and Purity, Elizabeth Elliot
His Chosen Bride, Jennifer Lampe
WWW.BIBLICALDISCIPLESHIP.ORG