ebook

The heart of the Caterpillar



DEDICATION



I dedicate this book to my wife, Cheryl and my two children, Kaycee and Kaylim for their

endurance throughout the life of this book. Part of their sacrifice has knitted the pages

together, which make for entertained reading.





RECOGNITION



My thanks go to all my critics and a special thanks go to Anne Bennett, Sue Dicky, Johan

Barnard and to my adorable wife, Cheryl Rich for helping me with spelling, grammar and the

construction of some of my poor English.







WARNING



I must warn you that this script, ―The heart of the caterpillar‖ is written in a way that at

times pleases the flesh. Therefore, it might be offensive to the sensitive reader. Although it

contains some rough reading, it is but short lived. Nonetheless, the subject matter is thought

provoking and needs to be read with an open mind. The story you are about to read would be,

an appetite for truth, mixed with our modern life style. And I want to make it quite clear from

the outset; I have not written to please everyone. So if this book has been given to you, and

you find the subject matter controversial and not to your taste, give the novel to someone who

might appreciate it. I‘ve been warned that a book of this nature can be either, a best seller or a

pathetic-seller, that doesn‘t really matter; you are getting it for nothing. Nonetheless, with

that paramount risk attached to it, the readers have become the deciding factor. Lucky for

me, one out of every ten readers hated it. Whether you hated this script or whether you

enjoyed it, send me your comment/s.



REGISTERED FUNDRAISING ASSOCIATION

NPO 005-113

BEE COMPLIANT

WESTERN CAPE EDUCATIONS DEPTART‘S PERMISION

APPLICATION FOR FUNDING



All rights reserved.



This book is free of charge.

No part of this script may be used or reproduced in any form for financial gain whatsoever,

without written permission from the Author and/or Independent Living Association.



Websites

http://www.ilafund.co.za

http://www.street-children.webs.com

―I‘m back on the street Again,

This time to give!‖



Kevin Rich

1

The heart of the Caterpillar

Dear Reader



It would be highly appreciated if we could have your attention for the following organisation

―Independent Living Association - ILA‖. ILA is a group of directors and members who

support previously disadvantaged persons with disabilities and abilities. ILA has a poverty

relief fund and as a result, support, teach, train and provide the underprivileged with tools and

skills so that they could become independent.



What is our Purpose?

Our first purpose is to use willing bodies to print and bind as many books as possible. The

book you are reading is written in a South African context by Kevin Rich and has to do with

positive change. The thinking behind this is that feeding the stomach is a temporary state,

however, feeding the mind and changing the heart of men has endless potential. Secondly, to

change the mind-set of our youth with a full stomach, able and disable alike, street children

and normal home loving kids so that they could spread hope and a future by giving these

books free of charge to the larger community in South Africa and visitors from abroad. Our

dream is to see street children on the street with a T-shirt boldly stating, ―I‘m back on the

street again, this time to give!‖ This book, if read will have an impact on people as you will see

from the comments of those who have read it. The thought of Street Children effecting the

population is mind blowing to say the least. ILA does not receive any State funding and

therefore are in need of ordinary men and women like us and of the business community with

likeminded interests. Our purpose is simple, you sponsor us and we create jobs and get the

youth to give back to the community.



Our Mission

 We will strive to develop individuals in their entirety in order to make a positive contribution to

their environment.

 Our goal is to empower previously disadvantaged persons able and disable alike with the

required knowledge skills and attitudes and to expose them to a healthy purposeful life, whereby

they can be proud of their own achievements.



Our Vision

 To expose the previously disadvantaged persons able and disable alike to a social skills

development program and other activities without which they would never have been exposed to.

 To develop and motivate the young individuals to perform in an attitude of thanksgiving and

giving.

 To make this program accessible to as many as possible.

 To do community and social upliftment.



Our Aims

 To establish knowledgeable leadership abilities and attitudes within individuals, enabling them to

face current and future challenges purposefully, independently and responsibly.

 To give street children the opportunity to be with others to develop an understanding and

appreciation of group norms and values.

 To support the Western Cape Education Department regarding education and development.

 To establish a sense of urgency.

 To form healthy positive perceptions of themselves and others.

 To create peace and harmony and reduce violence.

2

The heart of the Caterpillar



How are we going to implement our goals?

We are a handful of seriously dedicated men and women who are willing to give our time, skills,

ability and finance to the cause of changing the mind set of average thinking, and to giving hope to

the hopeless and a future for all to see. We will identify homes for street children and schools that

have parents of the learners who simply don’t have the funds to take part in any outdoor programs.

We will have a separate department to teach and print as many books as the funds allow us to. We

will in more detail outline our goals and mission statement as you become partners in our

organisation. With the proper funding behind us and with the highly skilled, honorable leaders to lift

the bar and work alongside our mission, we can change the face of South Africa and without a doubt

and set an example to the world. To achieve these goals we need men and sponsors who are not

going to cast sugar to the birds, but who are dedicated to serving the greater South Africa and its

people.



How did ILA and I come about?

Over the almost twenty years I dedicated myself to helping one person. This special elderly

lady, a wheelchair bound Advocate who needed help 24/7, came to my rescue with her brilliant

mind and in return for our friendship, I loan her my spirit of helpfulness to do as she pleased.

She introduced me as a member into a Section 21 Non-profit organisation and later as a

director. ILA has been for many years the unseen door for me to distribute this novel to the

community, at least lawfully. You see after many years, my frail wheelchair bound dear friend

and associate; Anne, passed away and another advocate replaced her as chairman of the

company. He stepped down and I was voted in as chairman. I said I would take over as

chairman if I could amend the constitution and focus our attention on street children, why you

may ask – ―I believe if you train up a child while they are young, they will not depart from that

training‖. How does that affect the distribution of this novel? To give a simple answer, try

imagining this for a minute, you are driving down in your smart air-con vehicle, let‘s say down

Buitengracht Street, Cape Town and your car radio mentions something about Street Children

in the very same street, you can‘t help notice alongside the road, banners and flags raised

higher than normal. The Traffic Dept. keeping order while SABC 1,2,3 and ETV are presently

filming a lager than normal number of X-Street children with a bright T-shirt that boldly

states, ―I‘m back on the streets AGAIN, this time to give!‖ then they start handing out ―The

heart of the Caterpillar‖ and in return this easy read gets people to think in a way they have

never thought before. Even if this book affects a small number of people in a positive way,

which in return affects the lives of Street Children in a holistic way, everyone wins.



Further more kindly remember the Independent Living Association as a tax-deductible instrument in

the hands of a donor in terms of Section 18A of the Income Tax Act. Why not let us work with

your money this way, instead of the Government working with your money their way?



Any queries regarding this mater can be queried at ILA Office or I could be contacted on my

mobile at +27 82 960 7720.



Thank you for your support.

Websites: ―http://www.ilafund.co.za‖

Kevin Rich ―http://www.street-children.webs.com‖

(Chairman)



Directors: K. Rich, J.F. De Beer, Ms F. Martins, C. Fisher, M. de Vries

NON PROFIT ORG. NO. NPO 005-113 * PUBLIC BENEFIT ORG. NO. 2275



3

The heart of the Caterpillar









4

The heart of the Caterpillar









Independent Living Association









INTRODUCE STREET CHILDREN WITH OTHERS

TEACHING HOW TO GIVE TEACHING ABLE AND DISABLE TEACHING AND TRAINING

BUILDING CHARACTER HOW TO DRIVE BUILDING CHARACTER

DEVELOPING A CULTURE OF GIVING HOW TO PRINT BOOKS DEVELOPING A CULTURE OF GIVING

CHANGING A MIND SET HOW TO BIND BOOKS CHANGING A MIND SET

LOOKING AT POTENTIAL LEADERS LOOKING AT POTENTIAL LEADERS

HOW TO GIVE THEM AWAY

TRAINING POTENTIAL LEADERS TRAINING POTENTIAL LEADERS









GIVING BACK

TO THE

COMMUNITY

Website: http://www.ilafund.co.za or

http://www.street-children.webs.com

5

The heart of the Caterpillar





Why do we need help now?

 There is a serious cry from you, the public to do

something.

 Boy stabs another with a scissors in class.

 Grade 6 boy attacks pregnant teacher in class, teacher

loses baby.

 Two teachers shot in the head.

 Teacher stabbed to death in class.

 Teacher shot dead after arriving at school.

 Teachers threatened with guns.

 Verbal abuse from students is a daily occurrence.

 Children maiming and killing other children in school.

 Children experimenting with sex at an unbelievably

young age.

 The hatred of race groups who attack other race groups.

 Children who are raped at an incredibly young age.

 Parents are divorcing each other at an appalling rate and

the children are suffering the consequences.

 Children are committing suicide at an alarming rate.

 Children having low self-image and an uncertainty of

their future.

 Children are left to defend for themselves, with no or

little support.

 Most incidents are not reported because of fear.

 The list is endless, come South Africa - HELP!!!

HELP!!! HELP!!! HELP!!! HELP!!! - PLEASE…



Help us train-up children in the way they

should go and they will not depart from it!

6

The heart of the Caterpillar

INTRODUCTION



There‘s a deadly silence as I take my stand. From the corner of my eye I can see two of the

most brilliant opposing minds at work. It was obvious one of them was wicked, very much an

insensitive person, well groomed and yet in some strange way he delighted himself with a

sophisticated ecclesiastical grin. The other seemed gentle in temperament, and yet it was

obvious. He was wiser than an owl. For or what seemed like eternity, I had been resting my

trivial body in the partly sunlit room and for some reason, now was the time I had to be

moved. The wicked one took out his pipe with one hand, and with the other, he pointed it at

his opponent and said.



―The winner takes all!‖



The wise man just nodded his head in agreement. It wasn‘t long and I felt alienated from some

of my nearest and dearest friends, but that‘s not all. I sensed a change of the mood within the

room and this made me feel uncomfortable. The thought that I‘m in the wrong place at the

wrong time, or am I, bugged me. A feeling of separation and alienation, plus a tense sensation

that something awful was going to happen to us, didn‘t help. My eye wondered around the

room a second time and again I could feel the preparations taking place, preparations of a

different kind. It felt like war was about to unleash itself, a war of a different class; a war of

intelligence verses the future of our social order. For some reason I felt uncomfortable when I

put two and two together, and realized I was an integrated constituent to their pursuit. There

is nothing more uncomfortable when you know something‘s up and you are part of critical

change that would affect your future and the future of others.



Once we were friends, now its apartheid. Like soldiers we stood side by side with our uniforms

readily starched for battle. We were one not so long ago, now a dividing barrier separates a

black cultured terrain from their counterpart. No one dare move in fear of disturbing the

equilibrium that took place from time to time. I felt so small as I stood on the edge of what

appeared like a mighty army. The action started when soldiers moved around. Some of my

noble colleagues delighted in themselves; boastfully they did wonderful things, yet all I could

do was wait for the Master of Wisdom to position me. I was frustrated to see how little my

Master cared; after all I had my heart set on the good guy. All I could do was stand and watch

my Master at work. For a long time I stood my ground and because I wasn‘t being involved, I

took liberty of studying the game as they played.



As I began to understand the contest, I saw from time to time some excellent moves by both

players. I thought the match could go either way, what scared me the most was that of all the

forces, I am the least. I wondered to myself, ―who is going to win and which soldiers will drop

out of the arena‖. My fear began when without warning, my Master moved me into the line of

fire. ―Oh no, oh no, I am going to die; no one had prepared me for this day.‖ I can see my

enemy wiping me off the edge, any second now. I was frozen to the core, the silence grew

louder and louder in my ears. When the old man moved his finger, his fingernail scratched the

surface while my heart started to beat rapidly. With an expressionless grin in his evil eye, he

stared at me. Then with his hand he placed a goliath of native origin by my side. My knees

began to tremble as I nearly caved in and then my heart began to pound and I knew I was in

serious need of support. I could not see the other players; this only made matters worse, the

sweat dripped from my brow. It seemed like forever before the next move could be made.



Another billow of smoke went up in the air, as the yellow and brown stained teeth clenched the

overweight pipe. I looked at my Master and with tears in my eyes I began to beg his mercy

upon my life. I could not see his plan nor could I see his purpose, all I saw was my need for him

7

The heart of the Caterpillar

to act. Even in my sorrow I knew my Master had plans for me, plans to give me a hope and a

future. How and when was up to him, but I needed an answer and I needed it soon. Then the

fight was on, one black guy hit a white bloke off his feet and another white guy hit a black chap

from the council, then a black guy hit a white guy so hard he fell to the floor.



I was so scared I nearly wet myself on several occasions. On one occasion a white guy almost

knocked me over, and I thought we were on the same side. It was certainly not a nice game for

me, but the two men were locked in battle to see who was the more powerful of the two. I was

exhausted after my first move and was just about to give up when my master moved me again.

Like the battle on the playing field, I looked around to see if I was in danger or threat, lucky

for me I appeared safe for now. Then the enemy moved his knight in shining armour with his

darkest coat of corruption on, in a position I didn‘t appreciate. My heart cried out in a soft

voice but I‘m sure my Master heard me. Then as unimportant as I am, I stumbled over my

words and said.



―Master, if you can use me, you can have me.‖



Had my Master not shifted me forward, it could have been a painful experience for me the

next time around. For the first time in the game, I can tell you how good it felt to threaten your

opposition especially if they are giant size warriors? ―Yes, yes, yes.‖ I knocked over my first

opponent and he looked mean and nasty too. I looked over at my Master, put my thumb up

and smiled, we did a great job and we are a great team. But the Master took no notice of me;

instead he kept his eye on his enemy. I was so excited I could hardly wait to tell some of my

comrades. My enthusiasm swiftly died down when I took another look at myself in the mirror.

My height, my ability and my armour can never be measured against my enemy. Then I

realised I was nothing compared to the other players. I turned to my Master and pleaded for

his forgiveness and asked him to help me fight the good fight and I became obedient, no matter

what the next move was. Then the threats came again, but I looked my Master in the eye and

said.



―I will be submissive to the Master, whatever happens next.‖



I‘m not quite sure what my Master did next, because all the black men fled from my sight, and

I was moved again. I could see the black men were in trouble by the sweat on their foreheads

and again I was unnoticed when my master moved me forward. I had one more move to make

and I would make my Master proud. What was first an evil grin soon turned into a frustrating

frantic anger expression. However, the sick old man was not prepared to hand over victory

that easy and in greed he challenged the King of kings. Realisation struck when the enemy had

a choice to take me out and destroy my motives, but he didn‘t, he must have studied my

Master‘s moves well enough, to notice a greater dilemma still to come. After that move I ran

the race and completed my moves successfully. The king stripped me of my feeble armour to

crown me with jewels I had never seen, he stood by my side, slipped a ring on my finger and

with grace I was conformed into the image and likeness of the queen. The transformation is

unreal, the joy is overwhelming and the thrust of energy was inconceivably wonderful. For the

first time I firmly understood the context, that…



―No weapon formed against me will be successful to dent my armour whilst my Master is

omniscient‖.



Every time my Master held me and controlled my every move, I thanked him over and over

again. My greatest thrill was still to come when I heard those final words from my Masters‘

mouth.

8

The heart of the Caterpillar



―Checkmate‖.



Then only the faithful were all cast back in the box of peace. The war was over and the winner

tended to the wounded with his bare and yet very noticeably marked skin and he shouldered

the affliction and suffering of those that were massacred.



For those who know very little about the game of chess, the pawn is the smallest and the most

ineffective piece of all the pieces in the game. A pawn is like a kitty in the wilderness of wild

cats. It‘s like a budgie trying to out fly an eagle. It‘s like a seal pup taking on a killer whale.

Although the pawn is of such little value if it makes it‘s way to the other side of the chessboard.

The pawn is converted instantly into any piece its Master chooses, other than the king piece.

When the king piece dies the game is over and the apposing side wins. For those that know the

game of chess will know that a pawn can and sometimes does frustrate an opposite player.



In the early ages of my life you will take note that all did not go to well in my struggles to

survive my game of chess, but as you can see a little pawn can make a big difference in a game

of chess. However, I hope as a modest pawn verses the world, with a Master chess player at my

side. He can make a difference in the lives of many who are willing to play the game. When I

made my oath, all did not go well in my venture to write, not even the best software could

understand my spelling and my grammar for that matter. When I grasped there was a

message in this garbled unedited script that would be globally, either enthusiastically accepted,

or ruthlessly rejected. I toiled about letting it go.



There have been times when I wanted to smash the computer and reverse my treaty. But a

promise is a promise, and my word is my word, I will write this book. And when I made that

my passion and my goal, all the information was lost because of a games CD disk my son and I

wanted to play. I started from scratch and made it my goal once again to write. Then through

a poor business deal my family and I lost everything we owned, this including my computer

and all the information. This time I borrowed a laptop from a friend to rewrite and complete

the novel once again, only to experience the laptop burn out, the battery mysteriously melting

the PC into my workspace and destroying all evidence of ever having written a thing.



One miracle after another miracle took place and once again I was able to purchase a PC.

Very little worked out the way I thought it would, and I started to become despondent. And

although I had a PC and printer, I decided to set my eyes on business and leave the book alone.

Things appeared to look better for us, however, the book wasn‘t complete and for years I did

very little towards my goal. I struggled with the giants of this world and almost gave up

completely with my flesh wanting nothing less than the best.



After having read ―The Dream Giver‖ by Bruce Wilkinson, I went back to the Master, I

confessed my weakness before him, I handed my control over to him and I have become willing

to obey him, no matter what the price. I have come to a point where I will decrease and the

Master will increase. Even if there is an attack on our lives I will complete this book. I have

handed it to several people of all ages, culture and background and I‘m overwhelmed by their

comments, nonetheless it is your opinion I‘m interested in.





---§§§---









9

The heart of the Caterpillar

My story begins where my roots end.









My body lies at an angle at the desk with my arms folded, my legs apart and the pleasurable

thoughts of teasing a grade one teacher is uppermost in my mind. Then with a smile on my

face, it all blurted out.



―Miss Glick, Miss Glick you make me sick; you make me jump over candle sticks…‖



Before I could continue she swiped me with a one point two metre straight edge across my

outstretched leg. From that day forth, I was known as the schools most lost cause of existence.

The teachers despised me before I even entered their grade. Out of fear, fellow students saw

me either as their bro, while others just saw me plainly as the bully. The Principal had to

contact my parents regular, but what appeared like a good idea only turned out to be

disastrous. My parents were less interested in my schooling than in me. This made it easy for

me to play on the edge of darkness and if ever I was a pain, it was then.



I tormented every soul that crossed my path and I destroyed every living creature that came

across my path. The price for all my deeds wasn‘t easy to accept. The one thing I could not

triumph over was my lack of intimacy; loneliness is and has been there to haunt me all my

days. School became boring and as far as I was concerned, everyone could go to hell. I hated

my teachers, I hated my parents, and as a matter of fact, I hated everyone. I‘m sure the whole

school rejoiced when I skipped school. I often spent my days begging for money in town, so I

could educate myself in a Bughouse of my own choice. On the days I went to school the

teachers would ignore me as if I didn‘t exist, but I didn‘t care.



Having skipped school again and again and doing what I enjoyed most, I slipped into the exit

of the Bughouse to see an age restricted movie. On my way home on that treacherous day, my

father waited for me. Whilst I was a long way off, he caught me with a cigarette in one hand

and another in my pocket. As I walked through the door I received an unexpected blow of my

fathers‘ fist. The blow hit my head to the ground with a thump and all I could see was stars, till

his boot landed into my stomach. I crouched with the pain, but I refused to cry. However the

surprise that took place after that, hit me harder. My father had my few clothes tied up in a

shopping bag and tossed it out in the street, and then tossed me out with it, and with that, he

shouted.



―Fuck off, I never want to see you again, you fuckin lazy shit!‖



At the age of eleven I walked into the world to start my life as an adult. With that I left school

and never returned back home again. I spent my days begging for money, watching movies

and sleeping in locker rooms, where I was sure no one would find me. I then began to steal

from shopping centres for my favourite goodies, till I had enough to munch away while sitting

in the movies. The movies I had already seen helped me to catch up on some lost sleep. I did

this all summer without compensation, hoping to delete my days one at a time. As young as I

was, I feared no one, yet as usual loneliness was still my greatest enemy and I could not

conquer it. I asked myself many a time,



―If only I had a friend?‖







10

The heart of the Caterpillar

Regardless of my fear, this problem clearly wasn‘t going to disappear. As a result, I hated

everyone and no one cared for my presence either.



I knew that if I wanted to survive this world I would have to change my thinking. I would have

to change my manners, my outlook and my attitude.



―For me to start changing my life I would need money, how do I get it?‖



These thoughts constantly went through my mind so I decided to do something about it.



―The only way for me to get money now was to do something I hate most?‖



The thought of it angered me, but the gay movement was easy money. I then walked to the

market as one being sold as a sex slave. With that, I thought I would only do this until I made

sufficient money, and then I would dress well and find work that would support me. It‘s

amazing, if you go to the right place and look the part, soon someone will approach you. There

he was, a middle aged man with a few strands of hair covering his bald patch. When he

approached me, he said.



―Son, I‘m a tourist and I do not know my way around the city, would you be so kind and be

my guest and show me where to drive? I would like to take pictures of your city from the

mountain.‖



―OK‖, I replied.



He told me he was a tourist, but I knew he was a puff because he didn‘t even have an accent. I

went with him in his car. Whilst we were travelling he showed me a deck of cards and said.



―Tell me son, do you like these playing cards?‖



I opened the deck of cards, and you could have guessed it to be hardcore, but before I could

reply, he had his hand on my penis. For a moment I was in shock, but I knew that I came for

the money, so I gently removed his hand and said.



―Sir, you maybe a visitor to South Africa but this tool of mine is a costly baby.‖



I was trying to be brave; he was straight to the point, as he in his queer voice whispered.



―How much to thrust that beauty in me?‖



―What?‖ Looking surprised.



―You heard me, how much to fuck me?‖



I came straightforward and replied confidently.



―For a good fuck, fifty bucks?‖



―Very well then, R50.00 it will be.‖



We drove to a remote spot on the mountainside, where he took out his wallet, shovelled

through the notes and gave me R50.00. He put the wallet back in his back pocket. I told him to

11

The heart of the Caterpillar

remove his trousers. He removed it, placed it neatly on the bonnet and while he was removing

his undies, I shoved him hard into a nearby ditch where he tripped over his sparkling white

underpants. I grabbed his pants and ran as fast as I could down the mountain. I knew the old

fart wouldn‘t try and catch me without his trousers on; as a result I made more money that

day than I had ever held in my hand before.



I bought some toiletries, clean undies, went to the local swimming pool and had a shower, then

to a men‘s clothing store and bought myself a brand new outfit. I looked so cool after I had my

hair cut and styled. Then I went to a better class movie house and boldly asked the manager

for a job. I lied about my age and told him I was sixteen, I then lied about my father loosing his

job and that I needed employment to help support the family. He bought it hook, line and

sinker; it was my lucky day and I started working immediately. It went well for a week, till my

greed dragged me down to the city Charge Office. I really considered changing for the better,

until the day I thought no one noticed me slip my hand into the till. If only I had known a

camera had placed me at the scene of the crime, I would have gotten away with it. I was then

dragged into the children‘s court where I laid eyes on my parents once again. The Magistrate

gave me an option, as she raised her voice.



―Either you go home with your parents young man, or I will lock you up in a reform

school! You have a choice, where would you like to be, with some of the worst hardened

criminals or with your parents?‖



What seemed like a threat from the courtroom turned out to be a shock to everyone present,

when I answered her saying?



―I‘m sorry, but I will never stay with my father, never ever?‖



―Are you sure you would rather sit with hardened criminals, than with your devoted

family?‖



―Devoted family! What devotion? You see that man there!‖ I said, pointing to my father.



―He is more sick than all the hardened criminals you are talking about.‖



―What did your father do to make you so angry towards him?‖



―Before I noticed a pimple on my face, I saw a black eye in the mirror and before I kissed

the first girl I had already being sexually molested by that man you call my devoted

father!‖



A hush swept through the courtroom as I addressed my father head on. There was no more

fear in me, only anger and revenge oozed from my lips. The court was adjourned and I was

asked to meet with the Magistrate alone.









---§§§---









12

The heart of the Caterpillar





In the interest of my safety, I was placed in a home called ‗The Tenterden House‘. This is a

place of safe keeping, till an appropriate boarding school can be found. The moment that

discipline was introduced into my life, changes had to take place and all these changes had to

come out of me. My way of life was set in stone, my ideas, my deformed hopes and dreams; my

sense of value, my standards and my morals even at a young age had solidified its foundation.

To undo this, some poor soul would have to suffer. Therefore, it was either someone who

would really love me despite his or her disappointments in me and they would suffer hardship

in the process. Human nature has a way to use pride as some kind of game and the one who

has the most ego, makes the first move.



I hated enclosed spaces so my first move was to befriend a teacher, with the idea to con my way

and hitch a ride with the well behaved to the shopping centre. I managed to build some trust

and then was given the opportunity to go to the shopping centre under supervision. When we

got to the shop the rest was simple, I ran away. It did not take me long to establish my old

nature. But my one big downfall was my timing. In the middle of winter it is hard to find

proper shelter, warmth and of course the one big thing we all need, love. After the second

longest night, I began to think about my stupid behavior and started to reason with myself. I

didn‘t want to be like my father, I didn‘t want to treat my family the way he did.



―Why did I run, if I want to change?‖



Was the question that constantly moved me to try and make a life for myself? Humbly I curled

my tail between my legs and made my way back to the place of safety.



With open arms the staff accepted me back. I had to wash, have something to eat and see the

principal. I knew I was in trouble, but trouble was my middle name and by now I was use to it.

When I stepped into her office, my punishment came as a surprise. Because I had run away

from the shops, I was put in charge to go to the shopping centre once a week. Because I came

back, I was put in charge of making sure that whoever went to the shops with us had to be

back in the minivan on time. This came to me as a surprise, but surprised as I was it was also

the beginning of a process of change within me. I had now been given the power for the hour,

and it was up to me to make sure it did not go sour.



I could see myself steadily grow-up throughout the remaining years of my schooling and let me

tell you, schooling never stops, as you will discover. However, growing up will teach you a trick

or two of either good or bad habits. I was much older and bigger than my peers, which made

me seriously try harder. Although I struggled to read and write like the others, I had to put in

so much more effort to become a somebody. My hard work paid off one day when the pupils

had to meet in the school hall. Instead of listening to a discipline speech, I was asked to come

forward to the front stage. For a minute after my name was called out, I was stunned. I

couldn‘t recall doing something wrong, yet I sheepishly made my way to the front. The

principal put his arm around my shoulder and said.



―I believe that when a pupil is naughty, a sentence of punishment should be the answer.‖



The whole school thought I had done something really bad for him to openly rebuke me. There

was a slight pause, and then the principal said,



―however, I also believe that recognition should be given to those who deserve it, and it is

my pleasure to address this man whom I have a high regard for. Yes it is true; I have the

13

The heart of the Caterpillar

greatest honour and respect for this man. He has not only proved his loyalty to the school,

he has gone the extra mile.‖



For the first time in my life I needed a father to recognize me and for that brief moment one

man changed my entire life forever. The principal called several of my schoolmates up and did

the same and from that day forward, not one of our schoolmates failed. I surprised the school

in my final year by earning three distinctions and was recognised as the hardest working pupil

ever to attend the school.









---§§§---









I relished in my mind the idea that I could, and then started to drop fliers at the Universities. I

spent my days, my weekends, and month after month teaching one student after another. After

successfully teaching, I would walk amongst the students like an administrator who has shares

in the Institute. The very thought of teaching has always pleased me. For one that didn‘t start

off to well at school, I have become the favoured tutor when it comes to teaching those who

battle in areas that are foreign to them. It gave me some pleasure knowing that at the age of

eighteen, I fought my way through school to pass grade ten - only to instruct students who are

mastering their masters‘ degree. As I successfully taught one student how to park a vehicle

successfully the next would make his way to my vehicle. The recommendation from these

highly intellectuals gave me the inspiration to see myself as ―a somebody‖.



I compiled a brochure with all the wonderful letters from my students telling me how great a

teacher I was for them, and how much tolerance I have amplified in their lives.

Encouragement only produces confidence and confidence only produces improved teaching.

Then I received a call from an Institute that really put my brochure to the test. It was the

school for the deaf. At first I wondered if the deaf were lawfully allowed to drive.

Hungry for more recognition, I took on a task that changed my life forever. I met John in the

office and for the first time I was speechless. I did not know what to say, or how to address

him. We stood frozen for what seemed far too long, before he showed a gesture with his hand. I

stretched out my hand and complemented the favour, and then as if we had clicked I waved

my fists around in mid air as if to prove to him, I can teach him how to drive. He put up his

thumb in agreement, and we walked to the car.



As I placed my cones at a rare empty parking lot, trying to avoid the old yet used condoms

lying around, I began to feel at home again. I must admit the thought of used condoms does

annoy me at times, but do you know what makes me really angry? It is when I see inquisitive

children with their inquiring minds wanting to pick them up. If ever there is patience, now is

the time to master it. I wanted to scream when John started my little car. I then understood he

could not hear the engine, whilst turning the ignition. The poor engine was revving as if it were

a rocket about to ascend. John still turning the key, helped me understood that tolerance has

limits.



After realizing he will never be able to hear my unsympathetic tone, I had to learn how to

show hand signals fast. To get his attention the first time, I hit him on the leg, a bit too hard I

think. Because with that he let the clutch go and we went flying all over the parking lot. I



14

The heart of the Caterpillar

shouted, but that only increased the revs on the motor. He flattened every red rubber cone,

dragging some under the car. The tyre treads left signs that we were there after manhandling

the handbrake to bring the vehicle to submission. Well, I suppose somebody had to break the

back of my brand new Tazz. This had to come from a deaf scholar, a learning curve for me

and a frightening experience for him. John and I became good friends and although it took a

lot longer to teach him, we worked out a method and various hand signals helped.



I was there when he got married; I was there when he had his first child. We were at times so

close; most folk thought we were brothers. But as the years went by, John‘s disabilities took its

toll. He turned to the cheerful, yet never ending gloomy bottle that ultimately slaughtered his

hope of survival.



After John‘s funeral I found myself restless and unable to sleep. The moon displayed a

glorious glow below the stars of the heavens. There lay a gentle sea breeze over Cape Town,

the mother city of South Africa. It was a midnight Sunday evening in mid-February. I slipped

into a more comfortable outfit and I went for a drive. Like one who has writers block, I found

myself driving aimlessly. Direction was not on the agenda; I drove in whatever road was ahead

of me. I found myself turning into a suburb called Brooklyn, on the outskirts of the Ysterplaat

Airbase. The moon hung low and shadowed over the small suburb. On the street corners stood

the hookers, bewitching the rich and sometimes famous, perverted men of society. Here and

there flickered a street lamp and although close to the shore there was plenty of room for

disturbance. The only sound was from a flying squad siren that created a vibe through the

midnight air.



Nothing was popular about that particular suburb. It wasn‘t too small, neither was it

oversized. I parked my car to take a walk among the not-so-middle-class estate. While walking

aimlessly lost in space and time, a door took my attention by surprise. A door you may say, a

simple door, not a dream villa or a desired car of my choice. What lay behind this door, a

simple home. A simple home that changed my life forever, it changed my thinking and my

hope to one day stand before a Holy Dues and give an account and beg for mercy. There it

was, this oak door with stained glass panels giving it quality. The house behind the door gave

me the impression that the owner had built it, with the intent on giving it some natural

character. I imagined a high woven wood carved ceiling, spacious rooms and beautifully

crafted Oregon pine doors, cupboards and floors. The home has to be neat and superbly

designed. The kitchen, because of its size and beautiful craftsmanship, must be warm with a

glowing flame in the centre.

It certainly must be the place for entertainment, to socialise, especially in the cold winter

months. One can just picture the laughter and the thump, bubble and pop of children, families

and friends. Down the broad passage one can only admire the woven designs hanging on the

roughly plastered wall. The golden fresh fragrance that covers the home surely lingers in the

air, as one heads towards the main bedroom. The moon, I‘m sure creeps in and highlights a

wrought iron double bed. A soft passionate yet sexy oil painting will hang above the bed

headrest, but what makes it most exciting is the romantic fragrance that will ignite any mans

wick.



As I gazed at the house, pondering and admiring these thoughts and its contents, my mind

digressed and I wandered what it would be like, if humanity lived in luxury and in harmony

with one another. While I was pondering on the matter, a group of youths were running in my

direction. They carried weapons, like knives and what looked like pick handles, chains and

guns. I wasn‘t the enemy but I felt trapped -- they were heading towards the house I was

admiring. I found the core of fear, my mind was frozen, and my subconscious was not

prepared for the shock that came my way.

15

The heart of the Caterpillar



Armed and dangerously intoxicated they sensed I was a witness to their terror. They grabbed

me and dragged me into the very same house. The house I thought, oh, no -- how I was so

wrong? Why did I end-up in this suburb only the Divine knows?



I was at their mercy, they hurled insults, cursing me and began to beat me with their clubs and

their chains and left me for dead. I felt my life slowly draining from my body. One-youngster

whose eyes were oblivious of his sound vision, grabbed a firearm and pointed it directly at my

temple. My body and my mind were cold and preparing itself to accept defeat, my spirit,

however was strangely warm and preparing me for a life I would not understand. I could see

the youth direct his unresolved childhood anger into my face and the unthinkable happened,

out rang a bullet that wasn‘t going to miss its target.



My body tried to prepare itself to let go, but the nerves were determined to operate and bring

me to life. Futilely my spirit transcended slowly upwards away from my body. I could see my

limp body in a pool of blood. I could see the cloud of darkness within these frightened boys.

Then I heard the sirens coming our way, the members of the gang heard it too, and fled for

their safety. The paramedics, police, ambulance and the flying squad were there within

minutes.



At this point I was in no pain, neither was I in any danger. In fact I was at peace within myself.

I was free to roam the house without anybody‘s permission. I was not prepared to go back into

that body I left, not for now anyway. I wanted to observe the world from the outside and

wherever it leads me, my spirit wanted to follow and observe.



I watched the photographer take pictures of my battered fragile body and when the

paramedics tried to bring me to life, I watched as the police took statements from a man that

witnessed the gruesome ordeal. Then I was determined to talk to the policeman and give him a

detailed sketch of my perpetrators. Yet again Futile, no one could hear me, nor could they see

me. I was there, damn it and they could not even sense that it was I.



After they had removed the body and the dust settled, I came to learn and to understand what

my mission in life was. I could not voice my opinion, I could not reach out and touch another

person I could do nothing except observe. Looking back at my life that was, gave me some

hope.



―There is something I can do -- I can write!‖



The thought of this gave me hope.



―If I can write, hopefully one day somebody somewhere in this universe can read. If

someone somewhere out there finds this literature and can read it, remember I am with

you and with the help of your spirit we will come to a brighter understanding.‖



From that very thought the dream in me came alive.



―My only hope is that it pays off. As the saying goes, without works there is no hope and

without hope there‘s no life and without life there is nothing worth living. Whom am I

kidding? My body is dead already. However, my spirit lives on?‖



The owner of this property shouldn‘t complain about rats, if they live like pigs. Before I leave

this filthy house let me get my act together. I am on this side of the world; close members of my

16

The heart of the Caterpillar

past are on your side. They can neither see, hear, nor touch me, but I can see their visions, I

can hear their innermost cry.



I roamed the world for several years, till one day I decided to visit the house behind the door -

where my life ended and began. I didn‘t need a key to enter, or an excuse for being late. Then I

walked through the oak as if it had been opened for me.



―Well I never, the house is as I saw it in my vision.‖



Down the broad passage I admired the woven designs hanging on the roughly plastered wall.

The golden fresh fragrance covered the home, as one heads towards the main bedroom. The

moon crept in and highlighted the wrought iron double bed. A soft passionate yet sexy oil

painting hung above the bed headrest.



There they lay two hearts sleeping as one. I peeped behind the covers to see who they were. It

is a little boy I knew once upon a time, no more a boy though. At once I connected with Simon,

a middle age man, his wife, Yvonne and a mutt, called Gripy. As a matter of fact, I knew

Simons‘ father well, he was John, the deaf man I taught how to drive. He may have developed

a problem; regardless of his drinking habits they were a good family. Next to him his much

younger spouse, snuggled close to his chest. Simon must be going on thirty-five, well built and

kind of handsome, with a rugged attraction, and he was well tanned with dark hair. Besides

being a very pretty woman, I know very little about his wife; in appearance she was just the

opposite, milky smooth skin with long blond hair and very attractive. This much I can tell, she

is deeply in love with him.



They were in a deep, restful sleep, especially Simon. I could tell that images from his mind

were causing him to wander off into a way-out dream, or was it a nightmare.



―I need to stay awhile and enjoy their company, protect them if I can, guide them if it is

possible but most of all, write down everything I see.‖









---§§§---









17

The heart of the Caterpillar

I died to self and became alive to you.







As the darkness shuns the light, one could feel the heat of sunlight open its door. This summer

the sun sharpened its rays so much so, that bottle tops melted its way into the tar. As the days

become hotter, so did the signs of refreshing Coca-Cola. The children were roguish and

mischievous and as a result the holidays brisked by. Before they could sharpen their talents,

the schools were back to normal. Although there are still several summer weekends to be

enjoyed, they dragged their heels to school. As for me, I‘m permanently on vacation, but I

always savor the school holidays most.



A morning man can now enjoy his bed, ―Oh no, not Simon‖, he must rise at the crack of dawn.

He draws the curtain, opens the window towards the flickering lights.



―Ha-ha, its so fresh that my nostrils want to inhale the world.‖



While he stretches his fingers towards the stars and opens his chest, Yvonne folds the duvet

over her head and plays dead for another three hours. The coffee is sizzling in the pot for the

second time when Yvonne makes her way to the kitchen.



―Let me not comment on her appearance, she might read this one day.‖



Simon was due for leave and had set aside some savings and with his bonus, he and Yvonne

planned to take a holiday along the southeast coast. The route he has chosen must be the

Cape‘s best - skirting the foothills of the majestic Tsitsikamma and Outeniqua mountain

ranges. It has the largest natural forest in South Africa, crossing yawning river gorges and

bridging peaceful lakes and lagoons. It is within close reach of kilometre after kilometre of

unspoiled beaches. A dream they had harboured in their hearts for a long time, can now be

fulfilled. Yvonne had never before had the luxury of experiencing life outside Cape Town.



―Honey, what an exciting morning? Not a thought about work for a while, hey!‖



―We will make this holiday the finest we have ever experienced, sweetheart.‖



―Yes!‖



Excited, she pulls her fists towards her waist, as if to throw a mighty blow. It has been a desire

of theirs to see the world, but all they can afford is a trip within the borders of South Africa.

Now the time had come to experience the land of milk and honey.



Simon‘s mother‘s name is Theresa Burger. She stays in Wynberg, a southern suburb of Cape

Town. Although his father, John and I were good friends, his death touched many lives

including mine. All those years I‘ve known John; it only now occurred to me that I could see

him in Simon. They arranged for Theresa to look after their home and of course feed the only

child in their care, the dog. They packed the car and headed off for a month of sunshine and

pleasure. After packing more than they intended, we headed for the freeway. I say ‗we‘

because I am including myself.



By the time they were ready, the sun was pounding directly above his ―new‖ Twin-cab Izuzu

4x4. Although the vehicle is two years old, it is a beautiful light metallic green bakkie and



18

The heart of the Caterpillar

moves like a gladiator and in Simon‘s eyes its a new baby. The highway opened itself to allow

them the freedom of experiencing the joy, as we headed on the N2 towards the first mountain

pass. A journey they looked forward to as they excited each other, with stories of how they

wanted to see and experience as much of South Africa as possible.





―Isn‘t this the ideal country to visit, hey Simon?‖



―It is indeed Vonney, who wants to visit the world when we have it below our feet, just wait

till you see what I have planned for us.‖



I felt so delighted for their part. I sat on the edge of the back seat, like a child watching their

every move. Talking about movement, Yvonne loves to rub Simon‘s neck from time to time.

Simon loves her tenderness, her tiny fingers running through his hair. His suntan and his

sunglasses make him look as if he is permanently on holiday. Simon stops over at

Riviersonderend to fill-up and gets some drinks - icy cold drinks.



―Honey our next stop is Hartenbos, it is on the other side of Mosselbay. We will sleep at a

cottage overlooking the sea and tomorrow we will make our way to Wilderness, a dream

holiday site, you will never forget.‖



After a tiring day of driving and enjoying the sunshine on their skin, they retired to their

cottage. Simon unpacked a few things and lay back on the sofa. With a refreshing beer in one

hand and the remote in the other, the box that not everyone can resist, came alive. Like a

typical woman, Yvonne‘s in the kitchen preparing some goodies for them. It was a small snack

and an early night. The following day was just as spectacular as the day before. Birds are early

as usual and so was Simon, but Yvonne surprised him, by having breakfast prepared before

they could spread their wings. Bacon, eggs, mushrooms and toast, a bottle of champagne with

orange juice and a serious kiss were the start of their day. We sat outside overlooking the sea,

admiring the sunrise. They were sipping partly fermented sparkling grape and licking porky

fingers, it looked like paradise to me as they slumped back on deck chairs. The view was most

spectacular and clearly a treat for us.



Simon packed the van while Yvonne had a shower, then we headed for the road again. We

spent two weeks at the Wilderness, mostly along the riverbanks watching tiny rapids run into

the sea. We visited Knysna and George and they did some shopping and sampled some

restaurants. Simon did most of the driving, but Yvonne drove through to Oudtshoorn so that

we could experience the Kango Caves and see one of the finest limestone formations in the

world. The sun beat on the vehicle from time to time, as we drove passed shady trees and open

passes. We spent the day at the caves and they slept over at Oudtshoorn. The following day we

made our way back to the Wilderness. Along the pass the cab makes the twisted road until it

reaches the open blue. We spent one more day and they packed up for Plettenberg Bay, then

Jeffreys Bay till we reached Port Elizabeth. Simon drove the narrow winding roads off the

coastline, in search of a room that overlooked the sea and an expensive meal to make it worth

it. We spent the best part of our time travelling along the Garden Rout living at caravan parks

and holiday resorts.



For the next week or two we experienced the most exquisite sights. We marvelled at waterfalls,

enjoyed forest trails, experienced river rides and of course the Indian Ocean, where the

dolphins are dear and the whales attract hundreds if not thousands of tourists. Then we

travelled to East London, then to Beacon Bay and finally we made our way back again.





19

The heart of the Caterpillar

Like all good things, they come to an end. Like most holidays, they wanted to buy everything

and anything money could buy, till their funds eventually ran dry. Time is a killjoy and they

had to go back home and continue life again. Yes it certainly was a magnificent holiday. Simon

had taken enough photographs to relive their experience over and over again.









---§§§---









At home, Yvonne shares the joy of their trip with Theresa, her mother-in-law and a few

friends as they huddle around a warm pot of tea. The friend‘s children are chasing Gripy, the

dog. It is wonderful to see them run and giggle down the passageway; in the meantime Simon

is equipping himself for a fresh start at work. After a quick cup of tea, he scurries off to

explore some last minute shopping, before he goes back to the deep blue ocean.



By the time he gets home from his shopping, nothing seems to have changed in the kitchen. He

starts unpacking in the bedroom and while he is unpacking his toiletries, Yvonne pipes up.



―Honey its Barney on the phone.‖



Barney, short for Barnabas is Simons‘ boss. Barney and Simon have been best of buddies in

Primary School. Simon finished his schooling in Standard six to get a job at the Railways.

They drifted apart somewhat, but from time to time they touched base. Simon leaves some of

his shopping on the floor and picks up the phone.



―What‘s up Barney?‖



―Simon, I have good news for you.‖



―Yea, what‘s it.‖



―You have been promoted to 1st. Mate.‖



―It‘s about bloody time, don‘t you think?‖



―You pompous nut, you owe me one.‖



―I will see you tomorrow at the pub, we‘ll have a couple of drinks on me.‖



―Till tomorrow then.‖



―Cheers Barney.‖



Simon shouts from the bedroom.



―Yvonne.‖

20

The heart of the Caterpillar



―What?‖



―Barney has come with good news.‖



―Good news?‖



―Yes good news, I have been promoted to 1st Mate.‖



―That‘s wonderful news, Simon.‖



―It‘s not just wonderful news Yvonne, it‘s bloody incredible news.‖



To become the captain‘s right-hand man suggests a healthy increase. Simon decides to buy a

small car for Yvonne. They took out an additional overdraft facility of ten thousand Rand and

bought a light cream Beatle with a sunroof. Yvonne was so excited to own her very own car;

she gave it a name ―Little be‖. She went out and had the name designed, to be placed on both

sides of her vehicle.



Summer blossoms forth and Simon is annoyed with himself in the heat of the moment. Have

you had phases when things appear in a rush, yet in reality you going nowhere? Well, after

three days of enjoying Yvonne‘s‘ ―Little B‖, Simon and Jack, a co-worker of his, had an

appointment to see the Boss. Simon opens the garage door and takes the cab out, only to

discover that the bakkie has something vitally wrong with it. As he travels plus minus ten km

an hour down the road, a dreadful tuk-tuk sound seemed to come from the gearbox. Jack

turning to Simon said.



―This sounds like a couple of grand‘s worth of damage. What can the problem be?‖



―I hope not, it was fine a week ago. I hope.... shit Jack, it does sound like its coming from

the gearbox. I don‘t have two pennies to my name and in my banking account I have minus

ten thousand Rand.‖



―Simon, stop the van. Let me have a look.‖



It was a serene day; they were able to exit the vehicle off the road without any interruptions.

Simon moved the vehicle slower and Jack opened the door. With his body halfway hanging out

the door, he tried to hear where the clucking sound was coming from.



―Simon, travel a little slower, I think I can pinpoint where the noise is coming from.‖



Simon slowed the vehicle. While they‘re travelling, Jack is lying on the seat with his head

under the car to listen and pinpoint the exact spot.



―Simon, I think the sound is coming from your engine.‖



―Shit, no it is coming from your gearbox - no it‘s the engine, fuck I‘m not sure.‖



―Wait Simon, I tell you what, travel a bit faster, then leave the gear in neutral.‖



Simon did what Jack asked, and the sound gradually faded away.





21

The heart of the Caterpillar

―Oh shit, Simon, you are right, it is in the gearbox.‖



Simon in anger hits the steering wheel.



―Let‘s take this piece of shit home.‖



The cab reclines in the garage as an outpatient and the Beatle will have to do. They quickly

sprint to town with the new mags Simon bought two days ago. Not that he minded, he enjoys

the Beatle, as it makes its way through the traffic. While they are travelling to the office, Simon

is thinking of how to make money to get the bakkie on the road again.



―Jack, maybe it just needs a little oil, or something small has come adrift inside the

gearbox.‖



―I hope for your sake, you are right.‖



After Barney addressed them on which day they were sailing and a few other odds and ends.

Simon and Jack headed for the garage to buy gearbox oil. Hoping that this would solve the

problem. With their finest skill, they prepared themselves for major mechanical surgery, or so

it seemed.



―Jack, the starter motor sounds fine, the idling is not too bad, now let us take it for the

ultimate test.‖



―Simon, it doesn‘t seem worth the effort, leave it until we get back.‖



Simon went sailing for the next four weeks. I had a good feeling about their trip, they had a

great sail and all went well. Simon was in his element once again, he felt like a schoolboy

working the holidays. With a good attitude, the crew had a terrific voyage. Simon returned

home and invited Tim, a mechanically minded friend, to take a look at the vehicle. He tells Tim

about the tuk-tuk sound and adds.



―The more I think about it, the more I want to blow a gasket.‖



―Well Simon, before your thermostat rises, let‘s have a look.‖



There was no difference.



―Simon, let‘s tow the cab to the garage for a quote.‖



Simon agreed. While they were towing the van, Simon heard very little of the thumping sound,

but wasn‘t paying that much attention anyway. They got the van to the garage and left it there

for the night, so that one of the mechanics could look at it the following day. The following

afternoon Simon and Tim returned to the garage, but when Simon saw the quote, he said.



―I can‘t afford it, let‘s tow this piece of shit back.‖



Just as they were pushing the cab out of the garage to tow it back, Tim said.



―Simon, can‘t we take it to a very good friend of mine who owns his own garage. I‘ll talk to

him. I know he will try to help you. He is the type of guy that will give you a good price,

and allow you to pay it off.‖

22

The heart of the Caterpillar



Simon agreed, they towed the bakkie to Parow Industries, some ten km or so. It was a hot day

as they travelled in their respective vehicles. Simon saw a coke add and was hoping that an icy

cold coke would stretch his way.



They managed to get to the garage with a couple of modernized hand signals. While they were

at the garage, Tim asked Simon to get some coke while he speaks to Troy, his mechanic friend.

Simon didn‘t hesitate; he remembered an empty Coke bottle under the passenger seat. He

went to the corner café and got a few cokes. He met Tim and Troy at the van. Tim introduced

Simon to Troy, who you could see was a sincere friend.



―Hi Troy, I‘m sorry to have disturbed you, but I need this van, could you please help me.‖



―Let‘s jump in and see.‖



Tim sat on the back seat of the cab, putting the coke straight to his lips. While Simon drinks

his coke, he explains about the sound that is coming from the gearbox. Troy puts the key in

and moves slowly down the driveway. There was no sound, so he takes it around the block.

Still nothing, not even a rattle. Simon then turns his head back to look at Tim with a very

puzzled look on his face. Troy turns to Simon and says.



―I don‘t see a problem, Simon.‖



As he sips the last of his coke, Simon finely works it out. Without saying a word, he places his

empty bottle on the dashboard where it rolled back and forth. By this time, Tim has caught on.

Tim is in fits of laughter. Simon starts smiling and Troy who doesn‘t know what the hell is

going on, says.



―I don‘t get it, what‘s the big joke guys‘?‖



―Do you know how much a bottle of coke cost me, or even worse, how much it could have

cost me?‖



Simon took the bottle and kissed it, saying ―I am grateful to you‖ then he placed it under the

seat.



―Let‘s go back for another coke.‖



They went rattling and rolling in laughter all the way back to the garage, as the bottle knocked

between two metal objects under the passenger seat.









---§§§---









23

The heart of the Caterpillar

The mention of the coke bottle regularly brought tears of joy. Barney and Simon work well

together, maybe because they‘re so opposite - Barney loves the office, Simon hates it. Several

months go by and all goes well and then while Simon has some shore leave, he receives this

call.



―Hay Barney, what‘s up man.‖



There was a slight pause ...



―Simon, I can‘t talk now, can you come down to my office as soon as possible.‖



He then hung up.



―I wonder what‘s that all about.‖



Mumbling to himself he slips into something casual. Simon is jacked up to work, as they are

soon to sail. He really enjoys the ocean and his favourite ―manly‖ statement is.



―Boys ―P‖ up a tree, Men ―P‖ in the sea.‖



While Yvonne was busy in the kitchen, he grabbed his keys off the shelf and waved her

goodbye, saying.



―Hun, I will see you much later, I‘m going to the office and then I‘m going to the pub,

cheers.‖



Like Simon, he bounces into the office and shouts at young Michael, one of the clerks.



―Hay, hammerheads, wake up, smell the sea and do some exciting work for a change‖.



It‘s plain to see Michael doesn‘t like him, but there is very little he can do. Simon is twice his

size and he is well feared by most. So the little man tolerates the hulks‘ remarks and knows

when to hold his tongue. You can see Simon has been working for the company sometime, as

he strolls through the office block. Walking into Barney‘s office confidently, always looking for

a challenge.



―Hey, Barney what‘s up - you look like someone baptized you in yesterdays cheap wine.‖



―Simon, have a seat.‖



Pulling out a cigarette and putting it to his lips, he got up to face the window that overlooked

the harbour.



―Simon, I‘m afraid I have got bad news.‖



―What are you afraid of Barney, bad news only happens to bad people?‖



―No Simon, sometimes bad news happens.‖



As Simon got up to peek out the window opposite to Barney‘, Barney had this to say.







24

The heart of the Caterpillar

―Simon, you are the best man I know on the sea, you know the ocean better than most men

know their spouse.‖



After a short pause.



―Simon every man has a loss sometime during their lifetime. Even companies have fallen

into the hands of the mighty. Everything we had, has been sold to an oversees corporation,

who are diverting our vessels to diamond mining vessels and they are using their own

specialised crew for the job. Yes, everyone has lost his job including you, the company has

been sold out.‖



Before Barney could continue, Simon turned to him. I noticed an outrage‘s spirit in Simon that

is about to break his silence, like a boil about to eject; Simon flings his weight towards Barney.

―Oh no, I hope Simon doesn‘t loose it, he needs to keep this one friend.‖



―Now wait a bloody minute Barney, what do you think is written on my fuckin forehead.‖



Pointing his finger towards his head.



―Who are you trying to fuck with?‖



Barney, always in control of himself, sat behind his desk. Simon followed suit. Barney pulled

out his draw and took out an envelope with a letter of retrenchment and a final pay packed. He

puts it neatly in front of his old friend.



―I am really sorry Simon, I wish I could help you, but my hands are tied this time.‖



The roots of unresolved anger start to unfold as Simon‘s neck begins to swell.

―No, no Simon, don‘t say things you might regret next time!‖ This is hopeless he can‘t hear

me anyway, I wish sometime he could.



―Oh no, please don‘t!‖



―Fuck you Barney, stop fucking with me, what do you think my old lady is going to say, if I

give her this shit?‖



After the truth set in. Simon walked out of the office, not too sure what to say nor what to do

next. He went down to the pub where most of his crew gathered. Everyone was upset about

their sudden retrenchment, and the unforeseen change of ownership. Simon had a couple of

beers, but he was too angry to converse with anyone, then he left for home. For a change

Simon went home early and as he walked in, Yvonne knew something was wrong.



―What happened Simon?‖



―They fired the fuckin lot of us just like that. Like fuckin catfish, they tossed us out. After

all the fuckin years of service we gave them, not once did we let them down. Not fuckin

once - fuck them man - fuck them.‖



He was so angry he kicked the dog. Yvonne was always the peacemaker, however she knew

him better. Gently she stroked his arm.



―Honey, please calm down, I‘m sure you will get another job with your experience.‖

25

The heart of the Caterpillar



―Look at this fuckin pay packet, they could have stuck it where the fuckin sun doesn‘t

shine.‖



―Don‘t get upset Simon, I am sure you will be employed soon.‖



―Who will employ a fuckin standard six with a fuckin ridiculous record nowadays?‖



That thought only made matters worse as he went into their room and shut the door. That

evening the house was quite, even the dog was on his best behaviour. Yvonne lay gently behind

Simon‘s back, while he was reading his book. Yvonne thinks to herself;



―If only he would read something positive and set his mind free, then just maybe he will be

able to control his temper.‖



―I am sorry babes, sorry to disturb you while you are reading, can we go down to town and

register you for unemployment. At the same time put your name down with that friend of

yours, what‘s his name, at the employment agency.‖



―Mmm..‖ Came the reply.









---§§§---









The following day Simon applied for unemployment, after that he went to several employment

agencies with a copy of an up to date CV. The one thing he could not hide was his prison

sentence. Later that day he went to the local pub and met with his unemployed friends. They

drank, played pool while some played darts. As for Simon he just drank and drank, till his legs

began treading air.



By now it was time for Simon to go home. A work colleague gave him a lift home then walked

him back to his family, as he was in no condition to make it down the steps alone. As for Simon

he stumbled alone to the front door, five steps forward, then three steps backwards. It was so

funny to watch him lose his footing and in the process drop a shoe. As he bends down to pick it

up and before he could reach his shoe, the momentum and his liquor legs would take him three

to four steps past it. With determination he managed to contain his shoe.



After he got through the front door, he past out on the nearest sofa. Simon‘s mother-in-law,

Gail who stays in Brakenfell happened to visit, she was quite shocked. With a few friends

visiting at the same time, it was unexpected. However, they were not surprised. It was

embarrassing, yet other than her mother, her friends had seen him in that state before.

Everyone was uneasy till Simon mumbled something like,



―Ma, ek is foken platsak‖.





26

The heart of the Caterpillar

They giggled softly under their breath, and then Yvonne said,



―broke or not broke, you big ox, we will get through this!‖



Although her friends continued to giggle, his type of behaviour didn‘t in the least impress Gail.



Three months later and still unemployed. If only he hadn‘t gotten involved with that crowd,

maybe things would have been different. One thing is for sure, Simon has been clean for along

time and with Yvonne standing by her man - I am sure they will come through stronger. It is

sad to see a man been overpowered by the law, years after he has repented. Things become

financially exhausting when Simon received a call from his bank manager.



―Simon, regarding your bond payments.‖



Simon dreaded this call.



―Tom, I‘ve been meaning to call you, Yvonne and I had discussed this matter thoroughly

and I have put the house on the market, hopefully we will have good news soon.‖



―I‘ve seen the effort you have put into the house as if it solely belongs to you. Simon, I have

always told my clients, never to boast about a house, till the final payment has been met.

But, I will try and help as far as I‘m able.‖



They had their home on the market a month, luckily for them, a couple rents it. So instead of

losing their home to the bank they moved in with his mother. For now he is out of the soup, but

another set of problems arrive in the form of family.



I felt sorry for Simon and Yvonne, as for his mother, Theresa didn‘t make it easy for them.

From time to time she would torment Yvonne and criticise them. Since the death of her

husband, she wanted her children to know she‘s wearing the pants and Simon hated it. But

their lives are restricted until he can find employment. They were in no position to argue, so he

allowed her to dominate. That meant the dog had to go and parting company wasn‘t easy,

nonetheless all rules had to be on her terms. Yvonne thought they had a special bond and that

she understood her mother-in-law, how wrong she was. Her demeanor brought them much

pain. Everything she did to make his mother happy was inadequate, so she gave up. She spends

most of her time in his old bedroom reading books that somehow would comfort her. Now and

then she would phone Gail, her mother and for some reason she would not show her hostilities

towards Theresa. After Simons job hunting, his mother would let him have it.



―Simon, your wife is a good for nothing lazy.....‖



―No mother, stop it.‖



―But Simon all she does is laze around all day, doing blow all!‖



Simon knew better and kept quiet to prevent what little peace fall to pieces. It only made

matters worse and increased Yvonne‘s depression.



As time drifted, their predicament deteriorated. Just as they thought things couldn‘t get any

worse their tenants decided to move out, without paying rent. At which point Simon had to see

Tom. Tom, relaxed and understanding suggested that he try everything to sell their home, or

where possible rent it out.

27

The heart of the Caterpillar



Tough times lay ahead, the Rand is rare and weak, the workplace is tough and becoming even

tougher for the whites. They walked from interview to interview, any job will do. They were

desperate and devalued themselves to obtain even the meekest position. Then they dropped the

price of their house again, hoping to make a sale. The thought that he had prepared the house

for a stranger, made Simon even more discouraged. Walking Cape Town flat hunting for a

job, made them exhausted and by the time they got to the station, Yvonne said.



―I‘m pooped, let‘s sit and rest awhile.‖



Simon, physically, financially and mentally depleted had this to say.



―We might as well, it is easier watching people go to work, than finding a job.‖



They plonked themselves on a nearby bench, exhausted.



―Simon, do you remember the fun we had on our trip. The walk through the caves,

remember those awesome sunsets and the time we spent the whole night under the stars.

Remember the full blue moon that hovered over our cottage along the beach.‖



Although Simon was lethargic, he enjoyed those memories that highlighted the lighter side of

the day.



―I‘m sure we‘ll never forget it.‖



Then he continued.



―Do you remember that girl that tried to pick up her ice-cream? It was too funny just

watching her face, she was so cute, and I could have hugged her, ice-cream and all.‖



Without saying a word I could see this couple wanted children, on the other hand and under

the circumstances they were glad they didn‘t have any.



―What will happen to future kids, if today‘s tempo is snatching tomorrows lifestyle? They

can‘t grow-up in the world we did. Assuming they make their way through schooling, will

there be certainties of a job? If one is lucky to get a job, will it satisfy his inner man? It‘s

frightening who knows, maybe the computer removes even the ability to think for oneself. I

wonder how many children will end-up with their parents? If I look back in hindsight, I

wish adults would direct children and not bend them.‖



A few seconds of silence and Simon turns to Yvonne.



―Look at my life for example. My mother tried to bend me in one direction, my father on

the other hand, tried to bend me in another. Then I went to school, the teachers and

principal tried to get me to submit to their standards, what good did that get me? Then I

got my first job, they told me exactly what to do. Now I am back with my mother and the

cycle begins again, am I not a man that I cannot think for myself?‖



As Simon is speaking, she notices an article on the wall.



―Sorry Simon, what does that mean?‖





28

The heart of the Caterpillar

Simon turns to her direction.



―What does what mean?‖



―On the wall, over there.‖



―Where?‖



―Just under that cigarette add, in front of us.‖



Simon looked over, no one could miss it, and the advert had been sprayed with a can of day-

glow paint that read.



―You little whore!‖



The message was still clear.



―No, the message above that outrageous orange.‖



―The message under.‖



―Yes silly.‖



―Let me see, hun - it reads. „What would it profit a man if he were to gain the whole world

and lose his soul?‟‖



―Vonney, what do you think it means?‖



―I don‘t know Simon, I can tell you this much throughout history and in certain cultures a

woman‘s soul has been and in some cases, is still worthless.‖



―We needn‘t worry about it, besides we need a job, not the whole damn world.‖



―Simon, would you sell your soul for a job?‖



―Well, let me think... The first question I‘ll ask myself is? What is implied here and what

does it mean to sell your soul?‖



Hastily she replies.



―I think it means to sell ones body... Now those women make money!‖



―Don‘t get bloody idea‘s woman, besides I think hookers sell their body, not their souls.‖



―What do you think it means then, Simon?‖



Simon turning to Yvonne escalating his voice with an eerie sound.



―Vonney, maybe it‘s selling yourself to the demonic, satanic, devilish two horned, three

forked red little man coming your way.‖



―I‘m serious - Simon.‖

29

The heart of the Caterpillar



―I don‘t know Sweetheart, besides these ridiculous sayings only fuck with peoples brains.

Let‘s get the job finder and head back for home.‖



They boarded the train and that thought stayed with Yvonne. Although Simon will never

admit it, but Yvonne‘s seriousness made him ponder in the same direction. The following day

was much the same, except Theresa was becoming much more agitated by their circumstances.



―What‘s wrong with you? Can‘t you two get a job yet? Remember the day I told you.‖



―You told me what mother?‖



―I told you and Barney that you should never have left a secure job like the Railways, you

bloody never listen to a thing I say - now look what you‘ve got yourself into. You think us

older folk are always wrong?‖



―Mother, I was wrong. I repented and changed, but mother don‘t you see, the law has no

grace. Wherever I seek employment, they dangle this judgment in my face.‖



This only made matters worse for Simon, nevertheless he continued to look for work hoping

and at times secretly praying he would find a job and regain his dignity. The house was

constantly on show and at the end of that week the first sign of good news appeared. Theresa,

who is always the first to know, said.



―Simon, they found a buyer for your house‖



―That‘s great mom, I‘ll phone the agent.‖



―Don‘t get excited Simon, besides they want you to drop the price again and the buyer has

to sell his house too.‖



Theresa‘s definitely negative, casting Simon into such a bad mood, that he flings his briefcase

into his room and shouts.



―F...uck Mom, you also know how to press the right fuckin button.‖



His mother realizing his anger, said.



―Don‘t worry Simon, you have some months grace, besides that, aren‘t you lucky to have a

roof over your head?‖



Anything she said would make Simon mad and he stormed out of the house, mumbling to

himself.



―I wish she would kiss a fuckin train, or a truck, or something fuckin fast.‖



A few weeks later, the house was sold, he received a cheque and it kept the wolves from the

door. Two weeks later, one of the biggest shipping companies in Cape Town gave Yvonne a

temporary job as a receptionist. Yvonne worked so well that within a short time; she was given

a full time position, plus a bonus. Then as if no problems existed, Simon was given an

opportunity to start a small operation. Theresa was happy and now she could finely move

them out to support themselves. Just then the phone rings.

30

The heart of the Caterpillar



It‘s Andrew, Simon‘s younger brother, he was nothing like Simon. Like a bean and a pea

simmering in a pot, two opposites, one timid and soft with a flair for the arts the other very

much like Godzilla. Andrew very much loved by mother and certainly never got into trouble.

Andrew lived in a Batchelor flat in Milnerton with his Persian cat. He had a flair for music,

especially the piano. With his gentle slender fingers, he brought forth spectacular sound so

much so that he spends weeks at various theatres.



―Andrew, what do I owe this pleasure to?‖



―Mom how is Simon doing?‖



―They are still here, do you want to speak to him.‖



―Yes, thanks mom.‖



―Simon, it‘s your brother, he wants to speak to you.‖



Simon makes his way to the phone.



―Andrew, my boy, how‘s it?‖



―Simon, I‘m fine. I am in town for a few days and I want to take you and Yvonne out for

dinner. Don‘t tell mother, I don‘t want her to get upset.‖



―Sounds great Andrew, when?‖



―What are you doing on Friday the 13th?‖



―Where and when and we will be there.‖



―Meet me outside the Theatre on the Bay at eight thirty, there is someone very special I

want to introduce you too.‖



―I‘m looking forward to it, we‘ll be there.‖



―Simon, I must rush off and see the stage manager, see you Friday the 13th and tell mom

I‘ll see her soon.‖









---§§§---









31

The heart of the Caterpillar

What a relieve, Simon and Yvonne are off to work. All Simon has to do is deliver machine

components to farmers. Part of the contract was that he uses his own transport and for every

kilometre he will be paid out a percentage. Simon gives Yvonne a lift to work.



―I can honestly say, this is the first time I‘ve seen a couple who really enjoy travelling to

work‖.



Simon didn‘t even notice they were in a traffic jam. Yvonne gently rubs his neck combing his

hair with her fingernails.



―We will make it honey, we will make it.‖



Simon drops her at the Foreshore and motors off to Paardeneiland.



On his first day he had to deliver goods to a farm near Calvinia. He had no idea where

Calvinia was, so he went to the library and made a Photostat copy from a map book. It was

now 10h25 by the time he was ready to go to Calvinia. The distance he had to travel was about

four to five hours, so he had to contact Yvonne and let her know. Uncertain of Yvonne‘s work

number, he phoned home. There was no reply, so he left a message on the answering machine.



―Mom, when you get this message, please let Yvonne know I am taking a long trip,

hopefully I‘ll be home by nine tonight. By the way the company has loaned me a cellular

phone, my number is 082960......‖



He was now ready for his trip towards Paarl, then to Wellington, over a pass to Ceres and then

to Calvinia.



He stopped in Ceres for petrol and tried to phone once more. There was the same reply,



―You have reached the residence of Mrs. Burger...‖



by that time Simon had already replaced the receiver. Theresa was out doing shopping and by

the time she got home it was after four o‘clock. On his trip, he came to realize there‘s no tar

between Ceres and Calvinia the roads are stony and desert like. He travelled about 170 km in

this rough terrain when he heard a worrying thump under his van, which finely brought the

cab to a halt. A stone of some size must have hit the bottom casing. It not only cracked the

gearbox of his vehicle, but also split it in two halves. There was an oil trail that led the vehicle

off the road, luckily for Simon it was about 8 km walk to the nearest farmhouse. He tried to

phone home and realized that there was no signal to the mobile phone.



Simon, depleted in Bushman land with no water, no food, no communication and very little

money at hand. By the time Simon arrived at the farmer‘s house, the sun was on its way to the

ocean. Simon meets Cobus, a friendly farmer, a hundred metres or so from his house. As big

and as powerfully as Simon is, when their eyes met, he was as submissive as the sheep.



―Please sir, please help me.‖



Cobus could see that Simon needed his help desperately. He pitied Simon as he held out his

hand, said,



―Come inside young man, would you like something to drink?‖





32

The heart of the Caterpillar

―Please sir, I haven‘t got much money and I am in serious trouble.‖



They sat in the lounge while a servant girl poured some cold drinks for them. Cobus told

Simon that he had just heard from a neighbouring farmer that a bakkie had broken down at

the entrance to his farm. Cobus then sent out some workers with a tractor to tow the bakkie in.

With a smile on his face he said.



―Where‘s the key for your bakkie son?‖



Simon gives him the key without thinking.



―Don‘t worry Simon - life begins where the roots end.‖



Simon looking very puzzled at Cobus, not knowing how to react said.



―Sir, my bakkie is broken down just outside your farm.‖



―I know Simon, but I am talking about you, not your bakkie.‖



After a slight pause and Simon not knowing how to react Cobus continued.



―Simon, your roots are about to end.‖



―I don‘t understand sir?‖



―You will find this hard to believe young man, I believe your life is about to change.‖



―What do you mean sir?‖



―Simon, at first I found this hard to believe myself, but now even in my old age, I am

convinced there are miracles that happen to some people.‖



―Sir I still don‘t understand.‖



―Simon do you know a man by the name of Victor Crosswell?‖



―No - no, I can‘t say I have.‖



―Simon, a week ago this man, Victor Crosswell, booked three days at my guest house. Then

he added, ‗Tuesday a week from now, a young mans Twin-cab will breakdown in front of

your farm. He will have very little money, so I have banked some money in your account

for him‘. My first reaction was to laugh and think how preposterous.‖



Simon sitting on the edge of his seat looked very confused. Cobus lent back on his recliner and

took a sip of his soda, then continued.



―Well, Friday I went to the bank, there it was. Payment for three days including all meals,

plus an additional three thousand Rand spending money for you. My first thoughts were,

what are the chances of this ever happening?‖



Simon, rubbing his hands through his hair, not too sure about this farmer, said.





33

The heart of the Caterpillar

―Sir, I still don‘t understand, I don‘t know this Victor, Victor whatever?‖



―Victor Crosswell.‖



―Who is he?‖



―I know as much as you Simon, nothing.‖



―Sir, how does he know I have no money?‖



―Simon, even more bizarre, how does he know you are going to breakdown in a Twin-cab

in front of my farm?‖



―Sir, I still don‘t understand this thing.‖



―Simon, your money is ready when you want it. Let‘s have another drink, in the mean time

my wife - Tilla, is busy preparing your dwelling, which is about 12 km from here.‖



Cobus went into the kitchen to get the drinks. Simon had been so taken back, that he forgot to

phone Yvonne.



―Sir, sorry sir.‖



―Simon, please call me Cobus, not sir.‖



―Sir, sorry Cobus. I cannot phone from my cell phone and I need to contact my wife.‖



―Of cause you do, use my phone on the dresser.‖



Simon picks up the phone. He has just dialed when Tilla, his hostess walks in. Yvonne answers

the phone and in politeness he waves to Tilla, while Yvonne is saying.



―Who is this?‖



Yvonne was just about to put the phone down, when Simon answers.



―Vonney it‘s me, I‘m stuck on a farm outside Calvinia.‖



―What happened Simon, we have been worried about you?‖



―I think my gearbox is now totally wrecked and it‘s not a coke bottle.‖



―What now?‖



―It‘s a long story honey, I‘m sleeping over at a farmer‘s house for a day or two but when I

get back I will tell you all about it.‖



―Simon.‖



―What?‖



―I love you.‖

34

The heart of the Caterpillar



―I love you too, honey.‖



―So I will phone you tomorrow then.‖



―OK, look after yourself.‖



They said their goodbyes and just then the farm workers dragged the green gladiator into the

farmyard, as if it were slain by the dragon. In the meantime some farm workers packed meat,

veggies with salads, cold drinks and beers in the farmers bakkie, for Simon.



―We will worry about your bakkie tomorrow Simon, before it gets to dark let us set you up

in your Inn. I have got some goodies for you to eat and you can have breakfast with us in

the morning.‖



―Thank you sir.‖



―Don‘t thank me, thank Victor, I‘m around.‖



You must see this place for yourself, I have been drifting throughout the world, but this is it,

this is Deus‘ country. Where no cars dare travel, we travelled with the farmer‘s 4x4 for about

twenty minutes. Then as if we had come to the end of the world, on the edge of the desert, there

it was. The sun had not quite gone down yet. The pinkish light shadowed the Tra - Tra River

and all Simon could say was.



―WOW! - WOW!‖



This was it. Not only was it beautiful, it was what Simon needed. A break from nagging women

and the pressure of life. They walked down into a cave that was fully furnished for at least nine

people. There was a fridge with enough food to feed an army. Then Cobus said.



―Welcome to my world.‖



―If only I can share this moment with Yvonne.‖



―Who is Yvonne?‖



―My wife, I think she might enjoy this, I certainly do.‖



―Simon, the showers are outside the cave and there‘s enough firewood. However, I am

afraid there is no telephone, nor electricity. The fridge, the stove and the lights operate with

gas so don‘t leave the stove on, lest you gas yourself.‖



―This is fantastic Cobus, thank you very much.‖



―I will see you tomorrow morning, will you be OK?‖



―Oh yes, thanks again.‖



Cobus left him to attend to the ostriches on his farm. Simon took a walk outside and just

marveled at his surroundings. He stripped till he was naked, then jumped into the river that

gently warmed his spirit. Filled with inspiration, he bellowed out loud.

35

The heart of the Caterpillar



―If there is a God out there, thank you.‖



The words echoed it several times, as he flung himself backwards to float in the river. While he

is floating on his back, his tummy starts to rumble. The last time he had something to eat was a

pie around 11h00 that morning. The thought of food urged him to start a fire and open a beer.

Walking around with a towel around his waist made him wander if he wasn‘t dreaming.



The fire was glittering away and the colour in the sky was applying itself with darker blue. A

moment never to forget as Simon sees himself as a type of Adam, with no one to share his

dream. The moon started to make its way, I cannot believe it, it is a full sapphire moon. The

gods must be on his side tonight. Besides the crackling fire it was so quiet, one wondered if

there were other life forms on earth. If a city person wanted to get away, believe me this would

be the place to be.



After the third beer the coals were ready. He goes to the fridge, takes out steaks as thick as his

tyre treads and wider than the plate he is about to use. My gosh, I can‘t eat yet I‘m getting

hungry. As he turns his steak and licks his fingers, the smell of his braai sizzles downstream.

This only brings back memories of the good old days. I thought the world would come to

celebrate his discovery, but there was no one in sight.



Simon is in heaven as he delights in his meal. While he is mouthing at his steak, he flings some

logs on the fire. Still sipping on his beer, he looks up into the crystal clear night sky. ―I cannot

believe it, this is unreal‖ thinking to himself. Two to three hours pass and there‘s nothing and I

can‘t add to this absolute silence. Wait, Simon is about to surface from his deck chair. He does,

it‘s almost midnight I think he might be ready to go to bed, no he is stripping the towel around

his waist to go and swim. The water is warm and so is the night air, as Simon enjoys himself in

the river.



Like all good things, they get to a point where sleep is inevitable. Simon casts extra logs and

makes his way to the bed. He is tired but the silence keeps him awake for another hour. So he

takes a blanket and goes back to the deck chair, where the fire attracts him most. Within

fifteen minuets he was asleep, well not really, more like cat napping and feeding flames. I must

say, I understand loneliness. I have been back and forth throughout the universe for years, and

I am the only spirit around. This went on till, Cobus arrived at about five in the morning.



―Wacky, Wacky young man!‖



Simon rubs his eyes, and then stretches out of the blanket.



―Good morning sir.‖



―Come your breakfast is getting cold.‖



―Breakfast?‖



―Yes Simon and you will need it.‖



Sure enough Tilla had prepared breakfast. Simon felt that his steak hadn‘t quite digested yet,

now he has to force breakfast down. After stretching his stomach, Cobus told him.







36

The heart of the Caterpillar

―Sit and relax, drink your coffee, I‘m going to feed the ostriches. After I am finished, we

can see to your bakkie.‖



To the one and only garage in Calivnia, they towed the bakkie. As they arrived, the garage

owner came outside to meet them.



―Cobus don‘t tell me, you need a gearbox?‖



―No I don‘t, but Simon does.‖



Simon introduces himself.



―Hi, I am Simon, how did you know I needed a gearbox?‖



―A young man from Cape Town dropped an Izuzu gearbox yesterday. He told me that you

will need it and that I should install it for you.‖



―What was his name?‖



―I don‘t know, I think he said Victor something.‖



―I don‘t believe it!‖



―Yes, it is for you, it‘s an Izuzu gearbox that fits that cab.‖



―Somehow I must meet this Mr. Victor Crosswell.‖



―Yes, that‘s his name, Victor Crosswell.‖



They left the cab behind, went to the neighbouring farm to deliver a machine part and then

went back to Cobus‘ farm. Not much was said and when they arrived, Simon asked Cobus to

take him to the cave. Simon went into the cave, laid on the bed and fell fast asleep. He awoke

sometime after lunch, went outside and started the fire again. To freshen up he jumped into

the river with a bar of soap. As he makes his way from the river, this Victor Crosswell starts to

bug him.



―Who is this man, why does he not show his face?‖



Simon shouldn‘t complain, this Victor whoever he is, has helped him with everything. Simon

prepares a small lunch, thereafter grabs a few beers, and takes out the canoe and just leisure‘s

in it. Sipping away at his beers, wondering how his life is going to change. That evening was no

different from the one he had the night before; with the exception that he wanted to share it

with someone.



The next morning, it was breakfast with Cobus as usual and for the remaining day he sought

company with the farmer. By six that evening the Izuzu Twin-cab was ready, Cobus gave him

a lift to town. Simon‘s bakkie was working perfectly and he drove it back to the farm. He was

almost tempted to go straight to Cape Town. But that would be rude and besides he was tired.

He went to Cobus and Tilla‘s house, took Cobus by the hand and said.



―I‘m lost for words, I will tell everybody in Cape Town about your hospitality.‖





37

The heart of the Caterpillar

―Simon, I know you are looking forward to seeing your family, but it is not wise to leave

now. Wait till morning lest you hit the wild animals who will seek out your head lights.‖



―OK, but don‘t prepare breakfast for me, I will be on my way as soon as I awake.‖



―Well, young man travel safely, we‘ll think of you.‖



―Thank you once again.‖



―Don‘t thank us, thank Victor.‖



Simon went back to the cave, had another one-man braai and pondered what it would be like

if Yvonne were with him. As he is lying under the stars, he hears a voice calling him. This was

strange and it wasn‘t me. It was a voice calling Simon‘s name and the voice was coming from

within Simon. Strange very strange, I wonder who this voice is.



―Simon, Simon!‖



Simon jumps up from his horizontal position.



―Who is it?‖



―Simon, life begins where the roots end.‖



―Cobus, is that you?‖



―No, Simon - I am who I am.‖



―Who are you and what do you want?‖



―It is I, the one who supplies your needs.‖



―Lucky me, what do you want?‖



―Luck is reflected in greedy eyes, yet wealth is stored up in giving.‖



―Hey - hey, what do you want?‖



―I want you to change your name.‖



―Change my name?‖



―Yes, you are no longer to call yourself Simon.‖



―What, who is this?‖



―Your name is no longer to be Simon, your name is to be Rocky.‖



―What!‖



―Yes Rocky, no longer Simon.‖





38

The heart of the Caterpillar

―What, what does this mean!‖



―It means; I am the foundation, I am the cornerstone and you will be the rock I will chip

and clone, mould and plaster and I will build my house upon it.‖



Simon very puzzled by this voice packed his bags, quenched the fire and left for Cape Town.









---§§§---









It is Friday the 13th, 6:15a.m. and Simon makes his way through the last of the traffic. As

Simon closes in, a work colleague who works with Yvonne, arrives to pick her up. They have

enough time for a quick kiss and hug before she leaves. She is happy to see Simon, but she has

to leave for work, before they hit the heavy traffic. As they pull away, she rolls the window

down and says...



―Honey, please don‘t get upset with me tonight, it wasn‘t .............‖



A noisy truck passes and Simon doesn‘t catch the tail end of that, but waved nonetheless. He

gets a few belongings and makes his way towards a good rest. After a shower and a cup of tea,

Simon went to bed and didn‘t wake up till after six that evening. He slept throughout the

normal commotion of the day, which was very unlike Simon. He is still asleep by the time

Yvonne gets home from work. She walks delicately into the kitchen, wondering if Simon will

understand, then Theresa said.



―When I got up this morning, Simon was asleep.‖



―Did you tell him what happened?‖



―No, I thought you did this morning, didn‘t you?‖



―No, not really, there was no time, my lift was here when he arrived.‖



―I suggest you take him a cup of tea and break the news gently, remember he has had a bad

week with his gearbox and all.‖



―Mom, I don‘t know how to tell Simon, without making him upset.‖



―I know how you feel Vonney, he is very much like his father, but I will stand by your

side.‖



By the time she walks into the room he awakes. He pulls himself to a sitting position on the bed

and yawns. As he stretches himself, he says.



―Hello sweetheart, how was your week with my mother?‖



39

The heart of the Caterpillar



―Honey, I‘ve got good news, but I‘m afraid something also bad happened?‖



―Bad, what happened?‖



―Honey, please don‘t get upset with me, it wasn‘t my fault.‖



―What wasn‘t your fault?‖



―I was travelling to the shop for your mom on Wednesday when all of a sudden the beetle

caught alight and burnt out.‖



―Did it burn out completely?‖



―I‘m afraid so.‖ Strange, yet calmly Simon turns to her, and said.



―The wind will replace what the fire quenched.‖



―What?‖



―Wind replaces what fire quenches.‖



―What on earth are you taking about Simon?‖



―From dust it will return to dust and the wind will scatter the rest.‖



―What happened this past week, you seem so different?‖



―Please don‘t ask me to explain, I‘m uncertain myself and besides we don‘t have time,

Andrew has invited us to dinner or have you forgotten, get ready we are going out.‖



Yvonne departs the room quietly and makes her way to the kitchen. Theresa quietly says.



―Did you speak to him?‖



Yvonne nods her head and quietly mouths, ―yes‖. Whispering Theresa asks her.



―What did he say?‖



Yvonne shrugs her shoulders saying, ―I‘m not sure, his still half asleep.‖



―Oh shit, I hope he doesn‘t make a scene tonight.‖



―I don‘t think so he has asked me to get dressed, we are going out so don‘t prepare

supper.‖



―I hope you are going to be OK, Yvonne.‖



They‘re ready to leave when Simon tells his mom, not to wait up for them. On the way to

Camps Bay, Yvonne doesn‘t want to upset him. But she wants to find out what happened in

Calvinia.





40

The heart of the Caterpillar

―Sweetheart, are you upset with me for burning out the car?‖



―Oh no baby, after this past week I don‘t think I can get upset with anything.‖



―What happened?‖



―Do you believe in the miraculous?‖



―Not actually, why?‖



―I am sure that I was not dreaming yet what happened to me this past week was with-out-

a-doubt, miraculous.‖



―What happened?‖



―Do you believe in ghosts?‖



―No, what happened?‖



―Last night in a cave, a ghost spoke to me.‖



―In a cave, a ghost, I thought you stayed with a farmer.‖



―Yes I did, the cave is on the farm.‖



―What do you mean he let you sleep in a cave with a ghost? Why did you not just hitchhike

home?‖



―No, no you don‘t understand, the cave was fantastic, like a holiday for me.‖



―Are you sure you‘re OK?‖



―Yes.‖



―And the ghost, what do ghosts have to do with this cave?‖



―This ghost spoke to me?‖



―Yes, and?‖



―And it said, that I should change my name.‖



―What?‖



―Yes, that I change my name to Rocky.‖



―Shame, Simon you‘ve been under far too much stress, this coming week you should rest,

before going back to work.‖



―Yvonne, I wish you could have been there with me, it was the best experience I have ever

had.‖





41

The heart of the Caterpillar

―Stay in a cave with you and a ghost, you got to be kidding!‖



―Yvonne, how can I start to explain it, when I don‘t even understand it myself.‖



―You better not say a thing about this to Andrew, and most definitely not to your mother.‖



―Ya, OK.‖



Just then they spotted Andrew waiting for them. They slowed down and Andrew tells them to

follow him. They follow him in their cab till they stop at a restaurant in Houtbay.



―Hello Yvonne - Simon, I believe your van broke down in Calvinia.‖



―I guess, you heard right, brother.‖



―What a place to get stuck, hey.‖



As they walk up the stairs, Andrew says.



―By the way, the friend I wanted to introduce you to, couldn‘t make it.‖



―Who is she?‖



―She is actually a he.‖



―Oh.‖



Simon, didn‘t say anything in fear that he may find out that his brother‘s gay. They settle on a

seat close to the window over looking the harbour. An attractive waitress assists them to their

seat, while I help myself to a window ledge. They order seafood, a bottle of white and a bottle

of red wine. It was a quiet evening for a Friday, normally this restaurant is very busy.



―I believe the theatre life is busy dying.‖



―In some circles, maybe so or maybe it‘s a temporal thing. However, I‘m more than likely

moving out.‖



―Moving out?‖



―Yes, I‘m going to travel with a few friends.‖



―For how long?‖



―For as long as it takes.‖



―Where is all the money coming from to travel?‖



―Deus will supply all our needs.‖



―What‘s going on with you Andrew, money doesn‘t fall from the sky.‖



―Simon, the miracles I‘ve seen, money can sprout out the sea, but it‘s not about money.‖

42

The heart of the Caterpillar



―What is it about?‖



―It‘s about life, it‘s about lives, it‘s about love, and it‘s about grace.‖



―You‘re not by any chance involved in a gay movement, are you?‖



―No, Simon I‘m not gay, I have decided to become a disciple.‖



―A disciple of what?‖



―You mean a disciple of whom?‖



―Whom then?‖



―The friend I wanted to introduce you to.‖



―What is his name?‖



―Victor.‖



―Victor Crosswell.‖



―Yes, do you know him?‖



―Lets say, I bumped into his Spirit.‖



The meal was great while all munched away in between conversation, introvert Yvonne just

listened intensively. As for vivacious Andrew, he tells them about how spectacular this Victor

is. Simon wanted to share his experience with them. But he wasn‘t too sure it was the right

thing to do. While Andrew is in his element, Simon thinks that this man must be something.



―To sway a man from his livelihood he must be ...., I wish I can meet him some day?‖



―You will,‖



said that same voice that spoke to him in the cave. Then without thinking Simon speaks up.



―Who are you?‖



Andrew stopped in mid sentence and Yvonne grabbed Simon by the arm and said.



―What‘s wrong Simon, what‘s wrong?‖



―Nothing, nothing - I‘m not feeling well, can we go home, I‘ve had a long week.‖



―I‘m sorry Simon, I went overboard, maybe next time.‖



―Its OK brother, I‘m just tired.‖



Andrew settled the bill and they parted company. While they are travelling back, Yvonne says.





43

The heart of the Caterpillar

―Baby what‘s going on, the minute Andrew mentioned Victor‘s name you became bleak.

What‘s going on and who‘s this guy?‖



―I fear this man Victor Crosswell, although I have never interacted with him, nor do I

know what he looks like.‖



―Why then did you turn so pale, when he mentioned his name?‖



―I really don‘t feel well, sweetie.‖



―You are hiding something from me, why don‘t you want to talk to me?‖



―I will honey, I just want to rest.‖



―You have rested all day, Simon this is unlike you.‖



―Honey I wish I could, but I ...., I just can‘t - not now.‖



―What hold has this Victor over you?‖



―Nothing!‖



―Then what are you afraid of?‖



―I don‘t know, I really don‘t know.‖



―You must be sick Simon or it‘s got to be Friday the 13th.‖



―It is Friday the 13th, let‘s go home. Oh by the way, I almost forgot you said, you‘ve got

good news for me. What is it?‖



―Barney phoned.‖



With a tone of bluntness, he responds. ―And what did he have to say?‖



―The company wants you back at sea.‖



―Oh, thank Deus, that is good news.‖









---§§§---









All was true; he quit his travelling to go back to sea. On his way home from his obsolete job, he

bumped into an old friend at the shopping centre. They exchanged phone numbers and Simon

and Yvonne was invited the coming Sunday for lunch at his flat, which he gladly accepted.



44

The heart of the Caterpillar

Sunday came and they went to Bills flat in Vredehook, Devils Peak for lunch. And for a single

man Simon and Yvonne were very surprised at what a magnificent flat he had, and the

scrumptious lunch was well worth their trip. After their lunch they retired to the living room

with a refreshing glass of whisky and soda, Yvonne just had a juice as she doesn‘t take to, what

she calls ghastly alcohol. Simon reclines into the couch as if it were an office chair, just before

he takes to his whiskey, he says.



―So Bill, you must be closing on forty how come you aren‘t married yet, more importantly,

tell me the secret of your success - what do you do for a living?‖



Billy ignored the first question, the reason being he was dying of aids and no one knew about

his condition, except a close male companion. But in his introvert manner he said.



―Nothing much, I still work for the same company.‖



Before Simon could open his mouth, the sounds of a dog in distress were heard outside. They

headed for the balcony, to find two boys teasing a very sick animal, and then Simon shouted.



―Hey!‖



The boys scaled the wall, before Simon could verbally reprimand them. Billy was angry with

the boys, but he showed more pity on the dog, as he had this to say.



―I feel so sorry for that dog, she has being roaming these flats for over a week. No one is

allowed to have animals in the flat otherwise, I would have taken her in. As for those boys,

I wish their parents would teach them not to mistreat animals.‖



Yvonne looked at Simon, then at the dog, then back at him.



―The answer is no!‖



As if he could read her mind.



―Please Simon, just look at how small and thin he is.‖



―No, besides what do you think mother will say.‖



―Don‘t worry Simon we are moving soon, I‘m sure your mother will understand.‖



―OK, but if my mother says no, we take the bloody mutt straight to the S.P.C.A.‖



―Oh Simon, thank you -- I love you very much.‖



With that she gave him a big squeeze. While still holding Simon, Bill tapped gently on her

shoulder, and said.



―She‘s a bitch.‖ Simon then says. ―She‘s an ugly bitch.‖



―No, she‘s not, she is beautiful!‖ Remarked Yvonne.



Who would think they were despondent a few weeks ago -- and who cares, they are happy now.





45

The heart of the Caterpillar

The bitch is petrified of Simon, as he ships her into the vehicle. She was trembling

uncontrollably, so Simon decides to name her, Vibrator. But as time goes by, Simon and the

dog become best of friends. His mother did not take to the dog, but they said they were looking

to rent a place. This gave her the motives to begin packing, so from that day she bugged them

to move into their own home.



It wasn‘t long and they rented a small two-bedroom house near where they were working. The

house was situated in Woodstock, a suburb of Cape Town. With a little runway, towards a

single garage which led itself off into a small kitchen and a dining room. What a far cry from

the house they once owned, or should I say the bank owned. You could see they were happy to

move and enthusiastically loaded the van. The dog was running up and down the driveway at

her new home, wagging her tail. While the men moved their furniture into the house, the

women were putting up the curtains. As they were setting the furniture, Yvonne said to Simon.



―Honey, independence must be the fruit of life.‖



―Why?‖



―Because setting up a home, reminds me of harvest time.‖



Her younger sister Jillian then said.



―Out of what tree did you fall from this morning.‖



It was a silly day, they laughed and giggled at everything as they unpacked.









---§§§---









It was a pleasant weekend. There was no doubt, Simon and Yvonne was happy. Once again

they are able to entertain, and invited some of their friends over for a traditional braai. That

meant, the drinks, the cholesterol and the laughter flowed as before. Everyone was happy for

them, after seeing the struggle they went through. Stephen, their neighbour who had worked

with Simon for a short period, was invited to join in. It appeared that most of the people in the

vicinity had either worked, or had some connection to the harbour. Simon and Stephen

became good friends and often visited each other. One Saturday morning Stephen peeped over

his wall, greeted Simon, whilst holding a cup of coffee, said.



―Who do you think is going to win at Loftus?‖



By this he meant the Springboks verses England, a fierce competition of rugby. It is a

challenging sport, however for a South African, it is dogmatically more serious than religion.

Simon responded by pulling his fists towards his chest, saying.



―Do you think the Boks can lose?‖



46

The heart of the Caterpillar



―Are you going to watch the match?‖



―I won‘t miss it, even if the TV fails me, I will never fail my team.‖



Stephen, then tells him about another upcoming hero which he had met.



―Who is this hero?‖



―Well, his more like a magician, whom I believed healed a retired fisherman, just by

touching him and he tells of some fascinating honorable tales.‖



―Come on Stephen, no one can be healed by a touch, you mustn‘t believe everything you

see.‖



―Believe me Simon, I‘ve been to his meetings and he is convincing.‖



―You know what?‖



―What?‖



―Wizards are evil.‖



―Do you want to see this man you call a Wizard, for yourself?‖



―No, I‘m going to work in the garden, it really needs it.‖



So he did, he dug out the weeds, and added topsoil. He dug out sections of grass and planted it

where it was needed. He worked hard that day and although he was tired, he never missed out

on his game. Throughout the following week, he spent most of his time working in and around

the house, painting and fixing things. From time to time Simon would spoil Yvonne and

prepare dinner for them. When she arrived from work, everything was laid out for her. She

really appreciated all the fuss given to her, especially after a stressful day. After dinner and the

dishes were done, they relaxed in front of the tube, and sometimes Simon would sleep,

throughout a movie.



One evening however, Simon remained alert throughout the movie. They laid back and

watched a dramatic drama of a child suffering and the parents‘ zest for a cure. The family

paid a painful price but by the end of their struggles they invented an oil combination, which

they named after their son. Both were in tears as they shared tissue paper, they soaked up

their feelings towards what was a very sad, yet true story.



―Simon, how about us planning for a family?‖



―What would you do, if you had a child like Lorenzo?‖ (This is the name of the sick boy in

the movie.)



―Or if you knew the child in your womb was deformed or you knew that it might suffer for

the rest of its life?‖



―I‘m certain of one thing, I‘ll never have an abortion - never ever.‖





47

The heart of the Caterpillar

―What if, we cannot have children?‖



―I will accept whatever the Creator grants us? However, you are dodging my question?‖



―Of course we‘ll have a family, a boy will be perfect.‖



―All men are alike, girls are what South Africa needs, to bring about a softer nature within

the terrorists at large.‖ With a smile he said.



―Honey, I‘m only joking, girl or boy, it really doesn‘t matter, as long as I can call him

Marcel.‖



Yvonne hit him on his arm with her fist, jokingly and like always, he tried to dramatise

husband abuse. The following day without Simon‘s knowledge, Yvonne went to her

gynecologist and asked her to remove her copper-tee. The week after that, Simon was back at

sea. After three months at sea the boys were tired and wanted to be with their families. When

they docked, tired and weary they collected their pay and went home.









---§§§---









They had rented their apartment in Woodstock for two years already and were very happy.

Then they received a letter, a letter from a lawyer that could have destroyed their relationship.

As one unfolds this ―learned friend‖, a very misleading lawyer whom I will name, Willful

Harry appears in their life. According to this letter, they were given a month to find a suitable

home and move out. Simon had to be at sea in a few days to do what he does best, to protect

the men from swimming home. As a result he drafts a letter to Mr. Willful Harry explaining

his work situation. According to the letter Simon was due to set sail soon after New Year, yet if

they found a suitable accommodation before Christmas, they would move. On the 20th

December, Willful Harry phoned to find how successful their attempts were. It was understood

that a month‘s grace was given to Simon and Yvonne.



The landlady approached Yvonne on the third of January to accept her full and final

settlement and just as well, Yvonne made her sign for it. Payment was paid in cash till the

seventh of January. At this time Simon was out fishing and on the seventh Yvonne receives a

phone call from the alleged new landlord demanding that she moves out. The tone in his voice

caused Yvonne to panic and because she‘s alone all she could do was to cry.



―How can you do this to us?‖ Yvonne replied.



―Listen woman I don‘t give a hoot about your problem, that is my house and I want you

out today.‖



―How can this happen to us?‖





48

The heart of the Caterpillar

―Oh, I wish Simon was here?‖



With the thoughts entering, some boldness confronts her challenge and with that she blurts

out.



―We will move when we have found a suitable home, if you are unhappy find yourself a

courageous lawyer?‖



Then she hung up, thinking to herself that she gave it to him. Yvonne wanted to contact Simon

and tell him, but she decided that she has to be strong and stand up for herself, besides he will

be home soon. For over a week she wasn‘t harassed, and then her worst nightmares began.



Simon, unsure of what‘s happening at home, lingers through the sea air breeze and teases the

seagulls. On the other hand Yvonne has a lazy late morning. She uses her annual leave to pack

some boxes in view of the fact that they have to move soon. Because Simon should be home in a

few days, she would like to have as much done as possible. She turns the CD‘s on louder than

normal and puts her mind to work. As her body swings through the hallway her voice carries

into the rooms. Amazingly how music can get work done. By the time lunchtime arrived, a

remarkable amount had been done.



Soon after lunch she hears a thump, thump on the door. It‘s the sheriff of the court with an

enormous truck. This took Yvonne by surprise and with all the packing she could not find the

keys to the security gate lock. It‘s no longer a surprise to me how the powers lord it over the

poor and the weak. I believe what comes around, goes around and because I have seen so

much of this kind of thing, I wish their sentence will be ruthless and unforgivable.



―Listen woman if this door is not open within one minute I will cut this lock!‖



Came the harsh voice of the Sheriff. Yvonne franticly looking for the key didn‘t notice the men

in her home and as she turned to the lounge, fear gripped her with the view of men grounded

in her home. The Sheriff handed her the summons and demanded the sum of monies on the

summons or they would have no hesitation in removing their furniture. Yvonne had two

thousand Rand on her but they wanted three.



―My husband is away and will be back any day soon, he will have the money you need‖.



―Lady the court has given me an order to obtain the rent from the 7th to the 17th January

and a deposit of R2300.00, if you haven‘t got the money we must remove your furniture.‖



―But why must I pay a deposit, we have lived here for two years and we are moving at the

end of this month.‖



―You must take it up with the lawyer.‖



Yvonne tries to phone the lawyer but he was in court, or so his secretary says. After Yvonne

tries to contact another lawyer friend she finds that he to is unavailable. Her hands are tied

and she pleads with the Sheriff, but to no avail, he is determined to move.



―I‘m sorry lady but we have to remove your furniture, we will leave the bed and the stove.‖



With that the CD was turned off and the men began to work immediately. In an instant, good

music turned to a head banging migraine.

49

The heart of the Caterpillar



All Yvonne could do was watch their hard labour walk out the door. If that wasn‘t bad enough

the new owner arrived with a truck and all his furniture. Without delay he began removing the

locks to the front door and replacing it with new ones. Yvonne began to cry but this didn‘t

disturb the men at work. Then the Sheriff spoke to the new owner, he seamed to back up a bit.

Yvonne puffs up her old-fashioned anger and a fight of words aroused between her and the

new owner. She could see that she was wasting her time with this arrogant stranger so she got

on the phone to the police station. By this time the Sheriff, his staff and eighty percent of their

home had gone. Instead of the police arriving the new owners friends arrived in a drinking

party mood. A blond trying to stand firm against several new South African men was a sight

for sore eyes.



They tormented her by telling her that she could sleep with them for a reasonable rent.

Yvonne was beside herself and she phoned the police once again but by this time one of the

guys pulled the phone line from the sock. She ran out the house to the nearest shop to make a

call as all the neighbours were at work. The men took immediate advantage of the time and

moved the furniture in. While they were moving the furniture in, the police arrived. The new

owner told the police that the previous owner had been evicted off the premises and that the

Sheriff had removed their furniture. A neighbour was in agreement with the new owner, which

made the police trust the new owner all the more. The new owner told the police that the

problem had been solved and that he would offer the evicted free accommodation till the end

of the month. One of the officers were at this point uncertain but the new owner was

convincing and assured them it‘s all a misunderstanding and that there is no need to worry.



Yvonne in the meantime tried to contact her husband, but to no avail. She knew her husband

couldn‘t help her even if she got through, then she contacted her family from the shop.



―Yvonne, stay at the shop we will be there shortly.‖



Her family was there within a flash; it would have been so much better had the police arrived

there as soon they had. Together with her mom and two sisters they arrived at the house. By

this time the first load of furniture had been in and the door bolted so that Yvonne had to

knock to get into her own home, which by now had already been re-planned. Yvonne had not

known that the police had already arrived and she was still hoping they would. Without delay

Gail launches at the new owner. As mother instincts would have it, she demanded that he and

all his cronies move out till twelve that evening. She was right as according to the summons

Yvonne had till midnight to pay the attorneys.



The new owner accepted the facts according to the summons and spent the rest of the day

outside their home drinking beers and enjoying it with his friends. While Yvonne and her

family tried to move her belongings. Lucky for them a lot had already been boxed. Gail

organised a truck and some help but these half drunk men mocked them and at the same time

tried to charm Yvonne‘s younger sister, Jillian. Then Yvonne was overheard when she said.



―Where are the men when the chips are down?‖



―Here I am baby, I am the man of your dreams‖ said one of the men.



―I wish Simon would come home, dammit Simon I need you now more than ever?‖



Jillian, on the other hand, said.





50

The heart of the Caterpillar

―Let us focus on the job at hand, and we will get away from these pigs a lot sooner.‖



They all agreed and strengthened each other till, the move was completed. Yvonne started to

feel ill and began to vomit as she dragged herself to the bathroom once again. The contents

were moved to her parent‘s garage till the end of the month, when they will move to

Observatory. Although Yvonne, I thought, had tremendous courage, by the end of the day she

was so sick and so exhausted she could hardly bear the smallest load. Her family and friends

were fantastic, they took her load and mom made them a strong pot of tea.



The following day Simon arrived home only to find no dog wagging, no hugs, no kisses and no

wife but a strange looking man smiling behind the security gate. With the odd looking curtains

and the obvious change of home Simon turned back to look at the street and the neighbours

house to see if he was perhaps in the wrong street.



―Can I help you, said the new owner?‖



Simon is blunt and very straight to the point, ―where‘s my wife?‖



―I don‘t know?‖ came the reply.



Then after a short glance at Simon he responded again, ―maybe you should contact her

mother.‖



Simon kept eye contact and could sense there was something missing in his tone of voice. Then

Simon turned on his heel and briskly walked off.



When the reality of what happened hit Simon, he got so angry. He went to the police station

and at the top of his voice shouted.



―Who the hell do you think you are to treat my wife this way?‖



He was heard throughout the station that the Commanding officer drew Simon apart and

gently guided him to his office.



―Have a seat Sir, tell me what is the problem?‖



He was very kind and it did help to calm things down a trifle. After Simon had given his

version he asked Simon to get his wife and come and see him that afternoon at two o‘clock and

that he would promise that he would do everything in his power to rectify their situation.



Simon and Yvonne kept their appointment with the Commander in charge. This was the first

sign of light for Yvonne when she realized that the Officer was a sincere person. He looked at

the summons and gave them the impression that he was knowledgeable on the matter.



―Simon, let me give you some good advice firstly, you have a very strong case, get a lawyer.

Secondly, think about what I‘m about to tell you and discuss the matter with your wife.‖



―What is it Sir?‖



―You have not been evicted, therefore I can move you back into home and remove the new

owner. However, your wife tells me that you have signed a new contract and are moving

the end of the month. The question is, is it worth it to move back for just over a week?‖

51

The heart of the Caterpillar



All Simon wanted to do was to give the new owner a taste of his own medicine, but after

Yvonne and the Commander convinced Simon to forget it. The Officer told Simon to

concentrate on getting his furniture back, and by signing the summons to defend their case. He

showed Simon where to sign and told him that he would have to make copies, one for the

opposing lawyer, one for the court and a copy for himself. Then he picked up the phone and

contacted a friend, who is a non-practicing Advocate and who helps the public with legal

advice. Simon and Yvonne thanked the Officer and an appointment was set up to see the

Advocate.



They arrived at the Advocate‘ house and were led in by the servant girl into the lounge.

Yvonne sat on the lounge suit whilst Simon studied a painting on the wall. After some several

minutes the Advocate literally rolled in. An elderly woman frail in wisdom with a pearl of

strength moved swiftly into the lounge, in her controlled wheel chair. She had very little

movement in one hand just enough to shift the joystick. It was practically uncomfortable to

introduce them as the custom of shaking hands was out of the question. With a permanent rosy

smile, she introduced herself as Anne, then Simon and Yvonne introduced themselves.



―So how can I help you folk?‖



Simon quickly took advantage of the situation and briefed the Advocate. The Advocate turned

to Yvonne and asked her if she could look at the summons. While the Advocate looked at the

summons, Yvonne held the pages for her, turning them one at a time.



―Mmm‖ she said.



―You have come up against an unethical lawyer who willfully abuses the law in anyway

possible to benefit himself.‖



She paused for a moment and said. ―Simon, Yvonne you can get yourself a lawyer or you can

fight this man on your own.‖



―Can we fight a lawyer ourselves?‖



―Yes, I believe so with a little help.‖ Came the reply.



Simon and Yvonne went to Court. The Courts were cold of spirit but within three hours they

are out with a release for their goods from the Magistrate. The Clerk of the Court releases all

paperwork and Simon and Yvonne rejoice over their victory. It shows it doesn‘t pay to create

your own law because all costs were made out to the opposing attorney.









---§§§---









52

The heart of the Caterpillar

The following day Simon and a couple of his friends went to the pub to have lunch. They

spotted a crowd of people outside the pub. Andrew was amongst them. Simon saw Andrew and

without saying a word to his buddies, left and walked towards his brother. Simon, having an

impulsive nature, wanted to know what these softies were doing on this side of the waterfront.

Some of his friends followed him, and some lagged behind. They were hoping to get a piece of

action. As they approached, the crowd turned towards them. Looking at Simon‘s crew, they

looked like the twentieth century gladiators. When they got close enough, the man they call

Victor, walked straight to Simon. He was well dressed, about one point eight metres in length,

handsome, yet with an assertive solo complexion. He was slender with an athletic build, with

well-groomed short brown hair and alert hazel green eyes. When he approached Simon, he

said.



―Simon, follow me?‖



Simon, thought he heard that voice before, but stood his ground. In his normal composure he

succumbed for a short while. Then the question was so direct that for a few seconds he was

speechless. Andrew, Simon‘s brother came forward, then before he could chip in, Victor

without saying a word, silenced him with a gesture of his hand. By this time Andrew was

standing next to Victor, hoping to maintain peace with his brother. Victor calmly took one step

forward and held out his hand to Simon. Simon so much wanted to do the same, but his pride

was more powerful than his emotions. Then Victor asked him a second time.



―Simon, will you follow me?‖



―Who are you and have we met before?‖ Simon asked him with uncertainty.



―I am, who I am Simon, but what‘s more important, is you.‖ Then Simon remembered the

voice of the ghost, but was in fear of exposing his deep feelings. Then he replied.



―Why do you think, I should follow you?‖



―You will be made rich.‖ This took Simon by surprise, he did not think in terms of making

money from Victor.



―What will you pay me?‖



―What are you worth?‖



―I earn several thousand Rand, yet for you, (he hesitated at first, then added) I‘m worth

much more.‖



―You‘re right, you are worth much more than you can dream of, you are worth more than

all the gold in the world and all the diamonds in the sea. However, all I can give you is,

training, anything above that, my father will supply.‖



―Training?‖



―Yes, training.‖



―Training for what?‖

―Training for a life beyond your wildest dreams. All nations will come to know you because

of me. Men and women will follow your example and rejoice because of this day.

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The heart of the Caterpillar

Governments and councilors will be prepared to change as a result of this training. The

world will bow at its knee, as a result of your training.‖



Simon said, with a smirk on his face.



―Life, at times has its moments, but we have it. If people follow you for the purposes of

training, how can they be responsible to themselves and to their families? Don‘t you think

your followers are training for fresh air, in a polluted society?‖



―You may not have obtained a university degree Simon, but you are a wise man. I will add

to your wisdom insight that all men may see a life beyond their wildest dreams. And

remember this, the birds are fed, the fields are clothed, so how much more do you think

you‘re worth?‖



Simon remained quiet, while Victor spoke with an absolute divine personality. He spoke

straight to Simon, bypassing his natural patterns and piercing the very core. He looked at

Simon, and said.



―Simon, my brother James is getting married this Saturday and we are having the

reception at our house. I would really appreciate it if you would join us?‖



―Lovely will we be having tea and biscuits on the patio, or will it be in the parlor?‖



―Simon, I‘m shocked, is that the kind of parties you go to?‖



―I don‘t party with cups and saucers.‖ The crew began to laugh and snicker at Victor.



Victor‘s mother was a doctor, Dr Ruth Crosswell. She was well known as Doc. They stayed on

the Observatory hill close to the Groote Schuur hospital. The house was light grey in colour,

well kept and had five bedrooms, two bathrooms. The kitchen, dining room and lounge were

much bigger than the house Simon lived in. It was an old yet well-kept house with lots of

memories of children running and teasing nanny Caroline. There was lots of laughter but

there was also order. There was lots of fun, but the homework was always done.



Simon on the other hand was reckless and always in trouble. He was lazy at school, lived for

sport and charmed his way through life. Victor and Simon were opposites, yet in some way

alike. Because Simon regarded Victor to be a fraud, he took up the challenge, he accepted the

invitation, for his sole intention was to get drunk and spark some reaction from the magic

man. Victor somehow knew what Simon was thinking, and said.



―Simon, you don‘t have to bring anything, there will be enough food and more than enough

liquor.‖



When Andrew heard this, he thought to himself.



―Oh no, bad mistake, Victor, bad mistake to present alcohol to Simon!‖



Simon replied,



―I will see you Saturday then.‖



And was about to walk off when, Victor called him back.

54

The heart of the Caterpillar



―Simon to clarify your first question, I met you before you were born, but I introduced

myself to you for the first time, awhile ago in a cave.‖



That rocked Simon by surprise, as he walked back with his friends to the pub, and thought to

himself. ―What on earth was I thinking.‖ He sat in the pub, unable to be himself. His friends

continued drinking, playing darts, doing the usual. But Simon knew in his heart, he was no

match for Victor.



Finely the day of the wedding had dawned. Simon, Yvonne and Stephen, together drove with

Andrew. He knew where Victor stayed, so they went together in his vehicle. A number of

guests had already arrived. When they arrived, Victor invited them in saying, ―welcome‖.

They returned the greeting, then Victor addressed Simon, saying.



―So, will you follow me?‖



Andrew turned to Simon, and said.



―I‘m going to follow him Simon, what do you think?‖ Simon turned to Andrew and said.



―You‘re already following him, I hope we‘re doing the right thing.‖



―Does that mean, you will follow as well?‖



Simon for whatever reason nodded his head. I wasn‘t too sure if it was in agreement or

embarrassment. While Yvonne had no idea what was about to take place in Simon‘s life. By

the impression on Simon‘s face, I don‘t think he quite knew either.



It was a great wedding and everyone enjoyed himself or herself, even Simon and Yvonne

sought out new friends. However, Simon did not get drunk, as he had intended. The only thing

that bugged Simon were a few pious leaders that sat in one corner, gossiping about the way

some of the guests were conducting themselves. There was lots of drinking, dancing and

laughter, and the photographer was taking lots of pictures of the bride and groom. Doc asked

the servants to fetch more Champaign in the cellar. There was no Champaign, and this was a

disaster to say the least. What were they going to use to toast the couple with? Doc, told the

servants to tell Victor what had happened, and said.



―Whatever he tells you to do, do it without questioning him.‖

The servants approached Victor while he was speaking to Simon. By the look on their faces

one could see something was wrong.



―Sir, there is no Champaign in the cellar, what must we do?‖



Victor turned to the servants and said.



―How many bottles of Champaign has been drunk?‖



―There are twelve empties, sir.‖



―Fill them with water, then serve it first at the bridal table, then place a bottle on the

remaining tables. And use filtered water we don‘t want to chlorinate the Champaign.‖





55

The heart of the Caterpillar

They looked at each other, then at Victor and slowly walked away, shrugging their shoulders.

Doc nodded to them in agreement, so they did just as he had instructed them to do. A young

couple and Simon overheard what Victor had said. The young couple went straight to the

leaders and told them. Simon, without saying a word, thought to himself. ―This man can‘t be

for real‖. He couldn‘t wait for a reaction from the bride, groom and parents. Simon kept his

eyes peeled on the servants. Excusing himself, he followed them to the cellar, without been

noticed. He then studied them, as they poured the water in the bottles. They did exactly as

Victor had told them. Simon could not believe what he observed, and like some of the guests,

he had his eyes peeled on the hosts. What some thought was water, had miraculously turned

out to be the best Champaign of the year. Simon thought they must be drunk, so he and other

guests went and tasted the so-called Champaign, and no one could understand how he did it.



The wedding was perfect, the reception was nothing like Simon imagined. And as the saying

goes, all good things end in marriage. The groom whisked the bride off on their honeymoon,

everyone with exception to the leader‘s were happy. They waved them goodbye and covered

them with birdseed, another form of confetti. At this point the spiritual leaders came to Victor,

and required an answer.



―We know that you are a prophet, but why is it that the majority of religions do not drink

wine, yet you wine and dine with all these intoxicated inexperienced breeds?‖



Although Victor was drinking, he was very sharp, as he answered them.



―They say that the prophet John is a mad man, because he doesn‘t drink, yet you assume, I

am a glutton and a drunkard, because I drink and eat with these people. I tell you the

truth, drunk or sober, nobody will enter paradise without me; yet a drinker in my

presence, will have a much better chance than you will ever have, if you don‘t change your

heart.‖



There was such a huff of verbal mumble jumble, because they are the spiritual leaders. No one

had ever spoken to them in that sort of tone before. The spokesman of the spiritual leaders

turned to Victor, pointing his bony finger at him, said.



―Only the devil, will turn water into Champaign!‖



The crowds laughed at the leaders and one quite plastered said. ―Water, this is the best bloody

Champaign, hic, taste it preachers, taste it.‖ The leaders walked out in disgust. It was at this

time, Simon decided that he was going to rebuke Victor. Simon, realizing that Victor lied about

his father, went to him and publicly said.



―You told me that your father was going to support me and now I find out your father is

dead - why did you lie to me?‖



Soon the room became still, for the first time doubt was placed in the minds of the people,

about Victor. How can they trust him now, a man who would lie to attract supporters? This

was uppermost in the thoughts of his followers. As a result they waited in expectation for a

response from Victor.



―Simon, who do you think turned the water into Champaign?‖









56

The heart of the Caterpillar

Simon was speechless once again. He was trapped because he knew what happened was

miraculous, and didn‘t want others to know that he knew of the presence of a ghost, who could

be his father. He then turned to Victor and said.



―Master, I will take up your offer!‖



―What offer?‖



He went up to Victor and took his hand, boldly saying.



―I will follow you.‖



―Simon, I don‘t want you to follow me.‖



―But I thought?‖



―Simon, I will have tens of thousands upon thousands that will follow me, nevertheless I do

not want you to follow me.‖



―What are you saying?‖



―I want you to be my pupil. Followers are people who follow when they feel like it. Pupils

on the other hand dedicate themselves, I want your commitment, not your gift.‖



―Simon, you are welcome to be my pupil, so give me all or nothing.‖



Simon was in shock once again. After the party Simon, Yvonne, Andrew and Stephen travelled

home. Stephen and Yvonne sat at the back of the vehicle, and could not stop speaking about

the miraculous Champaign. Simon and Andrew on the other hand, could not take their mind

off the idea of being Victor‘s pupils. This resulted in Simon not being able to sleep. That night

he tossed and turned, while Yvonne slept soundly. Being restless, unable to sleep, he got up and

went outside. He looked up at the sky, hoping desperately to get an answer.



―If there is somebody out there, if it is Victor‘s Father, please help me make the right

decision?‖



A warm feeling came over Simon, and the voice of the same ghost spoke to him, saying.



―Do not fear Simon, I will never leave you, nor will I desert you.‖



Simon looked around to see whom it was, who had spoken to him. There was no one. He went

back to bed, but like before he could not sleep. He got up a second time and went outside. As

he sat under the stars, thoughts were going through his mind, that he was going crazy. Within

him there was a peace and a joy that he could not explain. Staring at the stars, he sensed that

he was not alone. The same voice was heard, even clearer than before.



―Do not fear Simon, I will never leave you, nor will I desert you.‖



―Is this really you, is this Victor‘s father?‖



―I am who I am, I am Deus, leave your world to follow me.‖





57

The heart of the Caterpillar

―Why me, Deus, why not some of the religious men of our time?‖



―Religious men have an inward desire to save themselves. I want a relationship with man,

not a religious tradition.‖



―Does this mean, I must become a pupil of Victor?‖



―Yes, that is if you want to.‖



Simon then went inside, fell asleep and woke up refreshed. Without saying a word he went to

Victor‘s house. Victor was talking to a group of men, but when he saw Simon he stopped and

went straight to him. It was a fantastic morning, and Simon was at peace at last. He spoke

boldly, regardless of what others thought.



―Wherever you go, I will go, and I will do whatever you do.‖



―Your name is Simon, from today your name is to be Rocky. Now then, I want you to go

home, tell your wife what you have decided to do. Tell her I will feed and cloth you better

than I feed the birds and cloth the flowers. Then be here at around seven this evening.‖



I was shocked, he hadn‘t even thought about his actions or about Yvonne‘s feelings. He has the

intention of resigning a pretty secure job, to follow a stranger he doesn‘t even know. I

wondered how Yvonne was going to react to Rocky‘, dropping his daily income, to follow a

man he did not know. That evening when she came home from work, Simon told her of his

decision. What Simon didn‘t anticipate was the fact that she had a bad day at the office. All

her anger triggered off, as she tried to reason with him.



―Who‘s going to feed, clothe and support us, and what about me? Have you actually sat

down and considered my feelings?‖



Simon pressing towards the shower said.



―Not now honey, I‘m late for a meeting.‖



Then she started to raise her voice.



―What are you going to do about the debt, rent, water and lights account?‖



In the shower Simon mumbles something about feeding birds and clothing flowers.



―What‘s our parents‘ going to say?‖



She goes and on and on, even the dog senses there is a problem as he chews a half-torn net. She

thinks he made up the Rocky name to justify his purpose. What makes matters worse, is he

ignores his wife, and walks off to the meeting scheduled for that evening. As for Simon‘s new

friends they are happy to call him Rocky, they thought the name suited him. Later that

evening, Victor places his hand on a dozen men, and said.



―You are my pupils, each one of you will be an example for the world to see. Do not worry

about yourselves, what you will eat, and where you will sleep, what you will wear, or what

of your dept.‖





58

The heart of the Caterpillar

After they accepted his terms, he went on to speak about their new lives. But back home,

Yvonne was in tears phoning her family and closest friends. She was so angry she was telling

them that she thinks that Simon had fallen in love with another man. They didn‘t believe her,

but they sensed her anger. Her closest friends, Mary and Martha, and her sister Jillian went

over to her home at once. Yvonne bursts out in tears.



―If only I could have spent more time with him and given him more attention, then just

maybe he would have loved me, instead of this Victor, whoever he is?‖



Her friends could not talk to her, just as well, as she just needed to cry. They sat with her,

embraced her and listened to her tears.









---§§§---









Rumours are spreading fast about Victor and his Pupils. There is even mention that Victor

and Rocky can walk on water. It sounds like they are in competition to those who walk on fire.

I don‘t know, but don‘t you think they will say just about anything to draw the crowds to this

man, Victor Crosswell? I don‘t believe Simon, I mean ―Rocky‖ is gay. So I think he is

following Victor to gain power to influence his peer group. He has always wanted to ruin the

religious groups of the day. I‘m not too sure why, maybe he has some unresolved issues.



Do you know what happened one-day? I stood on the veranda, minding my own business. I

noticed him leave Yvonne regularly, where to; you can only guess? Again I thought about his

poor wife. She must be very lonely, locked up day after day. To my surprise, I overheard two

by-passers say.



―Do you know that Simon, the man they now call Rocky, is feeding sheep, while his wife

goes hungry?‖



This really ticked me off, although I knew it didn‘t make sense. Nevertheless, at the time it got

me thinking. In the city like theirs, where are these sheep, besides those at the abattoirs. Rocky

is an appropriate name for Simon, but he doesn‘t appear anything like a shepherd.



My temper somewhat changed, when Rocky returned that night. I remember it well. It was a

hot summer mid night, with a fluffy bright full moon. Every star in the sky showed off its

brilliance. The familiar sheer refreshing sea air breeze, just added to what could have been a

romantic secret. Rocky came bouncing along, with a big smile on his face, was causing my

nature to change to hatred.



―Feeding sheep, feeding sheep, that will be the day. He is certainly giving the impression

that he is escorting someone on the quiet!‖







59

The heart of the Caterpillar

I must control my anger, but. ―If I were in human form, I would certainly slaughter him no

matter his size. His not even worth breathing this fresh air, feeding sheep, ha-ha, don‘t make

me laugh.‖



The following day Yvonne is on her way to see Dr. Luke. He is also a very close friend of the

family. She was really looking tired and stressed out.



―What‘s the matter Vonney, have a seat?‖ She broke down in tears.



―Oh Lukie, if only you knew!‖



Dr. Luke picked up the phone and said.



―Please hold all my calls for the next hour.‖



―OK, my dear, let‘s start from the beginning.‖



She finds it easy to unfold her emotions to the doc as she responds.



―Rocky has become gay, I‘m sure of it, and I am afraid of our future.‖



After a short silence, she continues.



―I am petrified of getting the aids virus. I will not allow this Rock... I don‘t even know who

my husband is anymore. I will not allow him near me. Lukie I‘m scared, I‘m scared of

losing him, I‘m scared of losing everything. What do I do? What can I do to get him back, I

love this man so much, but I cannot live this way anymore? Please help me?‖



Twirling his pencil between his fingers with his left hand. Dr. Luke gently leans back on his

chair while shifting the backrest. Then after a short silent pause, he leans forward and with a

very sensitive appearance, he addresses Yvonne.



―Please listen to me Yvonne, Simon or Rocky as he is now known, is not having an affair.

This I can assure you! You know, I have gone to many of their meetings and taken down

many notes. I‘m telling you this much, no man has ever changed for the better as much as

your husband has.‖



―Oh Lukie, please tell me what I should do?‖



―Vonney we have grown up together, you know more about me than my own parents do.

Please believe me when I tell you that I want you to trust your husband.‖



―I can see now, I haven‘t given Simon a chance. Please, will you talk to him for me, he will

listen to you?‖



Dr. Luke leans himself even further towards her, and says.



―No Vonney, you tell your husband what you think and how you feel. But this time listen to

him without judging him.‖ Then he gave her a full range of vitamin B and told her to take

it easy.







60

The heart of the Caterpillar

The following morning she had all the intentions of telling Rocky, but before she could open

her mouth, Rocky had this to say.



―Listen Von, I want you to hand in your resignation. We are moving out of town.‖



Rocky doesn‘t time this well and this time he didn‘t know how loaded her emotions were, nor

the guilt she was laden with. Who knows, did Victor replace all his emotions for a basket of

unfulfilled faith? When Simon speaks, he puts either one foot in, or both in at the same time. It

appears that he does it without a sympathetic bone in his body. At this point, Yvonne bursts

into a flood of tears.



―Simon, will you ever leave me for another?‖



Simon realizing the seriousness of their marriage and the nature of Yvonne‘s feelings, walks

up to her and holds her in his arms, gently whispering in her ear.



―Honey, you know I will never, as long as I‘m alive - I will never leave you. Sweetheart I

love you, only you.‖



He then gently rubbed his hand through her hair, making sure that she felt his tender passion.

With his thumb he wiped a tear that rolled over her cheek and said.



―Remember, never, never, never!‖



As he held her in his arms they kissed, their kiss turned to passion and their passion turned to

arousal. They hadn‘t been intimate with each other for a while and so wanted each other, thus

he removed her blouse and started kissing her milky neck, gently. He peeled off her clothing

bit by bit. Her nipples stood erect like cherries ready for the picking, and by this time she

could handle it no longer. She gave into her deepest pleasures, as she allowed him to kiss and

role his tongue gently over her body. He dropped her gently to the rug. They rolled on the rug

till she was above him. She gently rubbed her body against his. They were in passionately in

love and this was wonderful, so I smiled and left the room.



The following morning they awoke refreshed and things appeared to be much better between

them. The phone rang and lazily she dragged her body across his, to pick up the handset.

Rocky started passionately kissing her along her slender neck, as she lifts up the handset. She

received a disturbing phone call from her sister, Jillian.



―Yvonne come quickly, mother is very sick.‖



―Simon stop that, there is a problem with my mom.‖ Then Yvonne reverts back to the

phone.



―Sis, can you hear me?‖



―Yes, I‘m here, what has happened to mom?‖



―Come quickly, I think she is dying.‖



They got into the van and moved across town in the shortest possible time, dodging traffic as

they made their way to mothers‘. She is a very special woman towards them. To have a

mother-in-law like Gail has meant a lot to Rocky. When they arrived, they ran up the stairs to

61

The heart of the Caterpillar

her bedroom. On the way up the stairway, they passed Dr. Luke. He tagged Yvonne by the

arm, saying.



―She hasn‘t got long to live. Please Yvonne show her your strength, don‘t break out

emotionally. She‘s prepared to meet her maker, and there is nothing you or anyone can do

for her now.‖



Yvonne half-ignored him and continued to run up the stairs. Rocky slowly turned and walked

back towards the phone in the hallway. He picked up the receiver and dialed Victor‘s cellular

number. The phone was answered on the first ring and before Rocky could say a word, Victor

said.



―Rocky, she will be OK, I will be there soon.‖



Sure enough, it wasn‘t long and Victor was at the front door. Rocky led him to where Gail lay

dying. Her husband Tony, Jillian and Yvonne stood around her bed. Tony held his head in his

hands sniffing silently. The girls were trying to be brave, but gentle tears rolled nonetheless. By

this time, her mother already looked lifeless. There was no more of that rosy colouring in her

face and the light had left her eyes. She had slowly slipped away. The room slowly became cold

and frigid when Victor and Rocky walked in. The three looked up and were offended by the

presence of a stranger. As if to say, ‗who sent for him?‘ This didn‘t disturb Victor; he walked

straight to her side and touched her hand gently. Slipping his hand into her thin bony fingers

that were riddled with arthritis, Victor spoke to her, saying.



―Gail, your children have come to visit you.‖



Tony burst out in tears and his daughters came to his aid. They wept together, but as for

Yvonne, she rebuked Rocky saying.



―Simon, how can you be so insensitive at a time like this. How can you bring this man, you

call a friend, into my parent‘s house?‖



Then the most marvellous thing took place. Her colour returned to her as normal. She opened

her eyes as from a deep sleep, and smiled.



―What a pleasure to have my whole family visiting me. Give me five minutes, and I will

make some tea.‖



Yvonne was determined to stop her mother, but Rocky held her back. They went out of the

room, leaving their parents alone for a while. Gail turned to Tony. ―What is wrong

sweetheart?‖ Still, very much in shock, he replied. ―I am just so, happy.‖ Then she completed

his sentence. ―Happy to see the whole family.‖ Tony was so surprised of her recovery, he had

to say. ―Yes, happy to see the family together.‖ They walked down the stairs as if nothing was

out of place. She made tea for them and while they were drinking their tea, she told them that

she was in such a deep sleep, and that she dreamt about heaven.



―I was sitting at a table etched in gold, with a group of old friends of mine. Then my

mother and father walked into the room, I was so happy. I ran to them and just held them.

Mom, dad - mom, dad - mom, dad. I could not believe it, I was holding my mother and

father. Then I heard my name, I turned and what looked like an angel took my hand. Then

I woke up and saw my family, what a wonderful dream.‖





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They listened to her dream with interest. She told them how beautiful it is in Abraham‘s

house, as if she had first hand experience. After that day Yvonne believed in Victor and was

prepared to call Simon, Rocky. As a result, Yvonne reluctantly gave up her career to put her

faith in her husband. They went home together and whilst driving, she said to him.



―Now Rocky, it is up to you and Victor, we haven‘t got money and we haven‘t got an

income - but I will be willing to put my trust in you, despite my fear of Victor.‖



―No honey, put your trust in Deus, not me!‖



As she ends her sentence, the phone rings. She picks up the phone. Who would have thought,

the news would have found its way, so soon. It was Theresa on the line.



―If you and your husband think for one minute that you are going in move into my home,

you‘ve got another thing coming.‖



Then slammed the phone in her ear. Yvonne gave Rocky such a dirty look while putting down

the phone, and said.



―Rocky you better be right this time, I will not be able to cope with another round of

disappointments with your mother.‖



The next day while Rocky was out, Yvonne decided to phone for prices to store their furniture.

Rocky had other ideas; he went to an Auctioneer and told him that all the contents of their

home must be auctioned off, as soon as possible. When she got home, she found out what he

had done and again she went off at him.



―Rocky have you lost all your senses, what do you think will happen if this thing doesn‘t

work out?‖



―What thing doesn‘t work out?‖



―Must I spell it out, between you and Victor, what else?‖



―Yvonne, you still don‘t believe in him, your worrying will destroy you, and Deus will

supply all our needs according to his riches.‖



―What happens, if I fall pregnant?‖



―Are you?‖



―No.‖



―Well, then there is nothing to worry about, is there?‖



She shook her head, saying.



―I think you have lost your marbles Rocky. You are bloody well wrong, Deus only helps

those who help themselves.‖



Rocky smiled, as he turns to her and says.





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―Deus loves those who don‘t even like him, how much more would he love those who love

him, and do his will.‖



―I certainly hope you‘re right Rocky.‖

―Vonney, I‘ve been told we will have struggles. However, tribulations are support blocks,

for victories in the future.‖



Just to think that it wasn‘t a long time ago when they fought tooth and nail to take control of

their furniture, now Rocky simply just gives it away. It was quite clear by Yvonne‘s motives

that she didn‘t trust Victor, nonetheless she dare not argue with Rocky, instead she says.



―Rocky, I still cannot see why all our belongings must be sold, why can‘t we just store it, till

such time that we may use it again.‖



―We have decided to put our hands to the plough, we are not to look back now.‖



―Rocky, I don‘t think what you are doing is called faith. Don‘t you think Victor would have

done the wise thing, and stored his belongings too?‖



―This is where you are so wrong Von, did you know that Victor inherited his father‘s

factory? He sold it for two million, one hundred thousand Rand and gave all the money to

child welfare.‖



―OK, so what, he hasn‘t got a wife, or any children to support.‖



―I understand how you feel, but believe me he will support us, remember that day he

turned water into champagne. Did you know that my intention was to get drunk on that

day and destroy his reputation? Instead I got drunk on life, and I‘m enjoying every minute

of it.‖



Nothing she said could have changed Rocky‘s mind and everything was sold. Rocky put all his

trust in Victor. As for Yvonne, well she just observed, hoping that something positive or

negative might happen. Secretly, all she wanted was her old way of living again.



They moved from one town to the next, living out of suitcases and with complete strangers.

Although their circumstances are difficult, she manages to beat the inflation for three years

with trials of meeting deadlines at the eleventh hour. She stuck it out with a man who spends

more time with his friends, than with her. I can‘t understand why she should endure this kind

of punishment. What I find offensive about Victor and his company is the fact that they are

able to move from one town to the next without paying for it. There should be a law against

such freedom.



One day Victor took his friends out for a treat at a very popular restaurant. While they were

sharing pizzas, Victor took hold of a pizza, saying.



―One of you is about to trade my life, for a title amongst the councilors.‖



He broke the pizza in two parts, and said.



―There is a snake amongst us and he has the ambition to strike at my heel, he has been

given permission to sit amongst us and he is preparing to strike his venom soon.‖





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The pupils shook their head; in disbelief that Victor would even think such a thing.



―Not us Master, never, not us?‖



One of the pupils turned to Victor, and said.



―Master let‘s forget this evil stuff. This pizza tastes great?‖



While he was cleaning his plate with his pizza, Victor grabbed his hand and said.



―DJ, this viper is in you, go quickly and do what you must do.‖



He stood up and left the restaurant, and no one understood why. In disbelief the pupils tried to

make light of that evening, yet one could feel the awkwardness that surrounded them.









---§§§---









Back home Yvonne was becoming ever more depressed. Throughout her life she was always

used to an upper-market lifestyle. Now to live out of suitcases was not part of her life long

dream. I think her parents are becoming distressed at her situation. She has lost so much

prime weight through anxiety, not Rocky, he just piles on the surplus. Yvonne knows Rocky is

no security for her, yet she believes all things will work out in the end. The way I see it, the

messages from Victor, this strange fanatic teacher, I believe he is only trying to play Deus. But

you know what, you cannot play God. But wait, Victor is in trouble and the authorities are

searching for him. My feelings tell me that this Victor is a fraud. I hope that they deal with him

harshly, and that he serves a memorable prison sentence for all the damage he has done.



During the school holidays - Victor, Rocky and his friends held an open meeting at a school

outside Paarl. There was no need to send fliers. When the crowds heard that Victor was there,

they told their friends and family. Before you knew it, the queue had made its way around the

block. Victor was in such demand. Even if there had been an entrance fee, the people would

still arrive long before the time.



The crowds packed the hall so much so, that there was no room to stand. Victor spoke about

the joy and the pain of forgiveness. Victor noticed a man starting to cry while he was

addressing the crowd. He stopped talking and walked up to the man. He held out his hand and

said.



―Do you see his heart, this man will enter paradise?‖



An elderly man held his head low, crying he said.



―Sir, will Deus ever forgive me? I cannot forgive myself for the things I have done.‖



―What did you do?‖





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―In my youth I shot a man in cold blood and since that day, I have never been able to

experience true forgiveness.‖



Dammit, this is the man that shot me many years ago, yes it is he. Surely a few tears are not

going to pay for the damage he has done. Then Victor addressed him.



―Do you believe that Deus can forgive you your sins?‖



―Yes sir I do sir, I do.‖



―Then your sins are forgiven, go sin no more.‖



The school hall became silent for a moment, and then as if a wind blew through the crowd

everyone began speaking. ―How can he forgive sins?‖ This was on the lips of everyone. Some

people left the premises immediately to tell the leaders of the town.



―A man killed another in cold blood, and Victor gave him amnesty, without the Presidents‘

permission!‖



This was the last straw; Victor has now stepped outside his boundaries. To be both judge and

jury, and pardon whomever he pleases, was out of the question. The government and the

spiritual leaders wanted him dead, but his followers followed him in huge numbers. Then they

found a weak link in one of his pupils, and managed to catch the man who murdered me. Soon

after their obnoxious display at the school a group of highly qualified patrol officers were

contacted by some of the leaders in Paarl. They were given instructions to kill Victor.



While the pupils were sleeping at a boarding school, just outside the town of Paarl one could

hear the sound of sirens from a distance. As the sounds became clearer, it was obvious that

they were not passing. The pupils made their way down the passage to the front entrance of the

building. The patrol officers forced their way into the quarters and demanded to see Victor.

He was nowhere to be found. Then out from the patrol car stepped DJ. What was once a

friend, has now become the traitor, and with him, a strong force of injustice. The pupils were

somewhat disorientated from their late night. Half asleep, they wondered what was happening.

DJ, the traitor did not respond, instead walked around the school to where he knew where

Victor would be. He was in prayer. The traitor walked up to Victor and shook his hand,

saying.



―Is this not the expert, you are looking for?‖



A patrolman grabbed Victor. Strange, there were drops of blood on the school bench, where he

had spent most of his evening. An officer handcuffed Victors right arm to his left arm. With

that Rocky understood what Victor meant at the restaurant. He then attacked one of the

patrolmen with a broken bottle. The patrolman ducked and Rocky caught him on the ear,

tearing the ear off completely. The patrolmen grabbed Rocky from all sides. Then Victor

picked up the ear with his free hand and touched the patrolman‘s head. As he did this, the ear

started to knit itself to its former state. They dragged Victor and Rocky off, to have them tried

by a fanatically religious group. There was no evidence that Rocky did anything so all charges

were dropped against him. He was asked to go and report the matter to no one. They then

threw him into the street with all the bergies where he spent the night.



Although there was insufficient evidence found at Victor‘s pathetic trial, throughout the world,

most spiritual leaders were of the same opinion. They wanted him dead, on the account that he

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claimed to be Deus. Victor was tried, found guilty and sentenced to death. He was then handed

over to the officers to die by the hand of a ‗Rekkie‘, which was the worst possible death. In the

early hours of the morning they dragged his body outside. They towed his dangling body with

a van along the outskirts of Paarl, as a trophy of their price. Then they dumped his body in a

closed van and travelled to the Taal monument. There they hung his unrecognised remains on

a pole at an amphitheatre on a hill.



The news spread fast that the Rekkies killed Victor. Camera crews swarmed to Paarl, but it

was too late, he was already dead. The patrolmen had to stop the crowds from trying to take

the body; they wanted to prove he was a dead human being. The crowds were becoming

resistant, so the officer took out his gun and pointed it at Victor. In fear of his own life he

warned the people he would shoot. The crowds drew back, but another officer grabbed the gun

from him and shot a hole through Victor‘s stomach. He wanted to use Victor as an example, so

that others like him wouldn‘t try the same thing. Once the media became convinced of the

death of Victor, they called for worldwide news coverage immediately. Reporters from who

knows where, rushed to the scene. Some were disgusted and horrified at his death, others were

only too happy to snap-up the news. After the doctors and specialists were certain of his death

and the reporters were satisfied, they took him to a nearby clinic.



The scene that followed was horrific. They cleaned his body and then they did the most bizarre

acts on a body I have seen. They pegged him up naked, in a hanging position. Then an artist

was given a large sum of money to reconstruct and to paint the body and to give a lifelike

appearance of a king. A strange thing then took place. A Scientist of note had invented a lethal

liquid substance that would keep his body from decaying. This was then injected into the corps

to give a lifelike looking king intact. All the while a film crew made sure a film was

documented to prove he was no god. Then he was structured in a glass box and placed in the

Cape Town Museum, for all to see. Above on the front of the glass cage a perspex sign was

placed that read; ―king of Kings and lord of Lords‖. The meaning of the sign was purposely

reversed, only to mock him. The world clearly hated him and for many a religious group, there

was a lot to rejoice about.



As for Yvonne, she was just as satisfied it was all over, now she can be back with her husband.

After a cup of tea at Jillian‘s house, she said.



―I feel sorry for Victor, but my dream has come true, at last I can have my husband back.

Although he is sad about the death of Victor, he will get over him and he will be mine, this

time forever.‖









---§§§---









After the death of Victor all his friends were looking at Rocky for some kind of guidance.

Rocky was heading downstream, wallowing deeper into depression. He was always a leader,

and suddenly leadership is what he needed. Like a child without a parent, Rocky is looking for

milk, instead of meat. He didn‘t go to the meeting place, where they rejoiced in worship and





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gave praises to Deus. He cuts himself off from the members, somewhat like being sifted with no

lust for life. Unable to control his focus, he operates like a computer chip without a monitor.



―Sympathetically I looked at him, and yet at first I thought just maybe he did inherit the

key‘s for heaven.‖



Recalling not so long ago, a Rocky who had jumped up with joy, and in a loud voice bellowed.



―You are the Messiah, the Son of the Living Deus.‖



Then when Victor replied.



―Bless you Rocky, men did not tell you this, you heard it from my father in heaven. I‘m

going to tell you this much. On what you have just said, I will build my people, and the

barricade of agony will not conquer it.‖



The death of Victor shattered Rocky and affected him severely. He should have sought a

psychologist for some guidance. The second evening of Victor‘s death, while the whole suburb

was in dreamland; Rocky had a nightmare that grabbed my attention. Rocky and his friends

were hiking from Muizenberg to Parow. A black African man stopped and told them he was

on his way to Bellville. They accepted the lift and jumped on the back of his bakkie. It wasn‘t

the best of vans, but a ride is a ride. They stood up in the back and allowed the wind to comb

through their hair. He took the rout through Mitchell‘s Plein, via Crossroads to pass the

Airport, instead of taking the R300. They were on the other side of Mitchell‘s Plein entering

gangster paradise. Then as chance would have it, the driver had to do an emergency brake. He

didn‘t make it and hit the dog head on. Before they knew what had happened, a group, who

dressed themselves like a fanatical tribe, surrounded them. One could not see their faces, yet

you could sense they were the enemy.



This tribe hated the blood of white people in Africa. When they saw the ―Whities‖ they

gathered their forces as for war. The three of them were outnumbered by far, more like twenty

to one. They were made to walk to a nearby building, which had been partly torn down. Rocky

and his friends were first made to kiss their feet and as they did, they were kicked in their

faces. They were tortured, spat upon, mocked and called racist names. They were given no

rest. James and little John were tied to a beam and clubbed. Rocky, being the biggest of the

three got the raw end of the deal. He was stripped naked and nailed to a broken door and he

was used as a target for their pleasure. This they did by means of throwing him with their

pocketknives. They tormented them throughout the night. Rocky‘s tongue was swollen, dry

and stuck to his pallet, his lips were swollen and bruised and his eye hanged as if it were

removed from its socket. Rocky was just barely able to move his lips, and with what little

strength he had, turned his head towards heaven and said.



―Master -- Master‖.



Then Rocky awoke and sat up in a sweat and tried to shout.



―Master help!‖



Yvonne realizing that Rocky had been dreaming said to him.



―Honey, honey it‘s me, you had a nightmare, don‘t worry, go back to bed.‖





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Rocky went back to sleep and had another dream. This time he dreamt that the whole world

was at war against the whites in South Africa. The world pitched their campsite on all four

sides of South Africa, which surrounded Victor‘s family. The ―Whities‖ still in bondage

camped in the valley of the shadow of death.



Then the beloved people cried out to their God and their prayers reached Deus‘s ear. Deus

looked to them with compassion and concern about their safety. Rocky looked up and saw a

man who looked like an angel yet who spoke like a prophet. Rocky turned and cried out in a

loud voice to the people, saying.



―I heard a voice from heaven say! `I am the Deus of Abraham, the Deus of Isaac and the

Deus of Jacob: I have seen the way your enemies are persecuting my people, but tell my

people not to be alarmed, the battle belongs to the Master; I am the Master, and I will

bring them out from under the yoke of their enemy. I will free them from being slaves to

that Beast, and I will redeem them with an outstretched arm and with mighty acts of

judgement.‖



There was also a prophet named John, which every leader despised, for he devoted himself to

Deus. One of the soldiers remarked that this prophet was so heavenly minded that he was of no

earthly good, eating only wild life. Nevertheless under great pressure, the Prophet John, would

report every word of his Master, to the ‗Whities‘.



Rocky in his dream then saw the champion named Lucifer, whom they titled, ―The Beast‖. He

came out from the bottomless pit, the headquarters for Satan and his demonic realm. The

location, in the region of Sodom and Gomorrah. He was more handsome than any man had

ever seen before. He stood close to two and half metres tall and had a face that shone like an

angel. He had a pure gold bracelet on his head and wore a coat of silver; on his legs he wore

bronze greaves, and on his feet were partly iron and partly leather shoes. A bronze shotgun

was slung on his back and on its shaft was engraved 6 - 6 - 6, and its teeth glittered with bloody

revenge. His cover boy went ahead of him to make him feel as prominent as a king. Then

Lucifer stood on one hill in his usual stance, and shouted to the ranks of the ―Whities‖.



―Why do you not come forward for battle?‖



Then he mocked them, saying.



―Am I, not ―The Beast‖ spoken of by the prophets and are you not the servants of Deus?

Choose a man and have him come down to me. If he is able to fight and kill me, we will

become your subjects; but if I overcome him and kill him, you will become our subjects

and serve us.‖



Then the Beast said.



―This day I challenge the ranks of Victors pupils! Give me a man and let us fight each

other.‖



On hearing the Beast, all the ―Whities‖ were dismayed and terrified. Day after day the Beast

came forward every morning and evening to take his stand. At the same time there was a

humble man, a shepherd boy who was from a little town called Bethlehem in Gauteng. He was

one of the many great grandsons of Abraham, whom Deus had given a promise to a long time

ago. The promise was that he would set all the nations free, if they believed in this shepherd.

Early in the morning, the shepherd left his flock and set out to help his brothers, as his father

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The heart of the Caterpillar

had directed him to. He reached the camp as the army was going out to its battle positions,

shouting their war cry.



Rocky, in his vision, saw the shepherd walk calmly towards the battle line and greet his

brothers. While he was there, Lucifer the Beast, the champion from Sodom and Gomorrah,

stepped out from his lines, and shouted his usual defiance. On hearing this, the shepherd

became angry! When the ―Whities‖ saw the Beast, they scattered and hid from him in great

fear. On seeing this he became even angrier! The ―Whities‖ were petrified of Lucifer, yet not

so the prophet John, nor this shepherd. Although the prophet John was not afraid, it was

against his principle to draw a weapon, as he stated.



―He who draws the gun, dies by the bullet.‖



Rocky saw him stand his ground and make this statement.



―Do you see how this beast keeps coming out? He comes out to defy Victor‘s pupils. The

King of kings will give great wealth to the one who would bind him to his destiny. In fact he

would be given the world at his feet and his enemies would be bound for life, he will free

those in bondage and wed anyone he chooses.‖



The shepherd then chose twelve men of which one disgraced him, by running off into the

enemy‘s camp. At this point the shepherd asked the men who were standing nearby.



―What will be done for the man who kills this Beast and removes this disgrace from South

Africa? Who is this uncircumcised Satanist anyway, that he should defy the armies of the

Living Deus?‖



They repeated what the prophet John had said, saying,



―The price is high for the man who kills him.‖



The shepherd tried to tell them in story form that he is the King of kings, but they did not

understand him, then he addressed the men, saying.



―The Beast will strike my heel, but I will crush its head‖.



When Rocky heard the shepherd address the men, as if he was about to take on this Beast

himself, he said to the boy.



―Why have you come down here and with whom did you leave the sheep?‖



The shepherd answered Rocky, saying.



―Get underneath my feet, you sound like a distressed rattle snake, I will take on the giant!‖



As if the serpent had already made his way into the valley. Rocky burned with anger and in his

dream rebuked Victor harshly, saying.



―You are a shepherd, not a war veteran. You do not belong here!‖



The shepherd knew the strong temperament of Rocky and cut him off, saying,





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The heart of the Caterpillar

―Rocky, you are a stumbling block to me; you do not have in mind the things of Deus, but

the things of men and before the clock strikes three, you would have disowned me as your

friend.‖



The shepherd then turned to his followers and brought up the same matter again, and the men

answered him as before. All heard what was said, and an informer went straight away to the

Chief Officer. From that day the religious leaders wanted the shepherd dead. From then on

they plotted with the Commanding Officer, to send the shepherd up against the Beast. The

Chief Officer sent for the shepherd at midnight and the soldiers found him praying in the

garden. One of the men heard him say.



―Not my will, but yours be done.‖



Then a number of men brought him before their rulers and when they saw him they laughed

at him saying.



―You are not able to go out against this Beast and fight him.‖



Someone in the crowd shouted.



―You are a lamb in comparison to that beast and he has been fighting from the first day he

governed and gloried himself.‖



In his dream he noticed the teachers of the law change their behaviour from first mocking

Victor, to tormenting him, too eventually shouting and getting angry with him. They were so

worked up by his silence, that they literally dragged him outside the camp and started

shouting at their own enemy, saying.



―Satan, we have your match, try to overcome this man, if you can.‖



With that they laughed and mocked him, saying.



―Go on you can fight the hulk, we are sure you can.‖



Victor still said nothing to defend himself. The leaders took him to the Generals, and told them

that this man, will conquer the giant. They had one good look at him, and said.



―He cannot go up against the enemy.‖



The Spiritual leaders shouted louder and louder.



―Yes he can, yes he can.‖



The Generals then signed an agreement with the leaders, stating that the blood of this man was

upon their lives, they signed it and said.



―Go, the gods be with you.‖



Then the officers dressed him in a purple tunic, crowned him and fastened a rifle to his back.

The shepherd fastened to the rifle, tried to walk, but fell to the ground, and by so doing,

became a spectacle for everyone to mock him and call him names, yet he went as a lamb to be

slaughtered, not opening his mouth. The shepherd approached Lucifer, the Beast. The shield

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The heart of the Caterpillar

bearer was dancing around the shepherd laughing, as if this was his day. When the Beast came

forward, he did not laugh. He looked the shepherd over and saw that he had no beauty or

majesty. Despised and rejected by his own, but Lucifer despised him, for he was a Whitie. But

more than that he recognized under all that blood and tissue, his strongest opponent.



The Beast shouted to the ‗Whities‘, and said.



―Am I a dog that you come to confront me with cross-fertilizer?‖



Then for the first time the shepherd spoke.



―You come against me with the weapons of this world, but I come against you with a cross

and the word of Deus. This day will be remembered forever. This piece of wood will

characterize me, but your weapons will be snatched from you this very day. I come against

you in the strength of my father, whom you have defied. This building will be destroyed,

nevertheless be on your guard, in three days I have plans to rebuild a castle, that will be

impossible to demolish. After the third day, I will hand you over to the dogs and destroy

your weapons forever. Beware of this, on the third day I will crush your head.‖



Then Rocky awoke and the whole household heard a violent sound, something like a human

earthquake coming from the room where Rocky and Yvonne slept. Still, in a state of shock, he

awoke from his nightmare. The lights went on in the house. The children and adults ran out

their rooms baffled, at the highly violent banging and clanging sound. There was Rocky

smashing and cursing, standing over another mans family clock. No one dared say a word, all

just stared at him with half awake eyes. After what seamed like a long frozen silence, there

came the last dying sound.



―Coo ... coo - Coo ... coo, psst!‖



The people they were staying with were very angry to say the least, here they were trying to

help Victor‘s friends and all Rocky could do was destroy their family‘s heritage. They didn‘t

take to it kindly and rejected his behaviour, asking Rocky and Yvonne to leave.









---§§§---









Yvonne had what she always wanted for a long time. A chance to start all over again, this

made her very happy. Rocky‘s spirit was truly broken. And for him this meant he had to go

back home and face the music. His long forgotten friends were there, ready to ridicule him.

Not to say what his mother had in store for them. They made their way back home. Yvonne

went to her mother and Rocky intended to stay with his mother for a few days, till he could get

another job. To avoid mud slinging, he first went to see Barney, to see if he could get a job.



Yvonne spoke to her mother about a lot of personal things. Yvonne stayed in her old room,

which had become the spare room. But as things go in a marriage it was only for a day, a very



72

The heart of the Caterpillar

long day, nonetheless the following day Rocky moved back with Yvonne. They were given

permission to stay there, till they got back on their feet again. You could see that Yvonne was

delighted, and I didn‘t blame her one bit. Rocky on the other hand was very depressed and

dejected, his hope had dwindled to mere numbness. He could not even support his best friend

at the end of his life. Now he can‘t even support his wife. He thinks back to the time he sold all

their furniture. While Rocky sits in her tiny old room, Yvonne tells her mother.



―Mom, now I can set him straight, and no one will snatch him from me. I know Rocky,

while he is weak I will take control of things, and slowly we will be back on our feet again.‖



She tries to help Rocky, but without much success though. He was far too despondent to even

listen to wisdom. Rocky had disappointed all his friends; because of the way he had neglected

his leadership role. Dr. Luke and his closest of friends found him strange and very un-

supportive, he could not even face Yvonne, whom he loved very much. A little good news

sprung to life, when Rocky receives a call from Barney.



―Rocky, I have a job for you, there‘s a ship about to sail, you can start as soon as you can

get to the harbour.‖



Everybody thought that getting a job, was going to change Rocky‘s attitude. Unfortunately, he

seemed to become distant. He wouldn‘t eat, nor have a drink with his friends. Seeing Rocky in

this state, I have come to realize that he really loved Victor and there was a bond, stronger

than life itself.



―Rocky, my darling you must eat something, you are starting a new job this afternoon, and

you need your strength.‖



Yet Rocky turned over in the bed, and fell asleep. An hour passed and everyone was quite

surprised, it was so unlike him. A while later he got up, got dressed, ate and went to work. No

one said a word, they allowed things to happen, as if he were having a completely normal day.

Two days passed, and Yvonne was overwhelmed with a type of happiness, that all was going to

go well. However, she does not heed the good news that is spreading fast, about Victor.



―Good News!‖



In her anger, she clutches her teeth.



―What good news can come from that man that stole the heart of my husband!‖



―He‘s alive.‖



―He‘s what!‖



―He‘s alive and on his way to have breakfast with Rocky and the others, at the harbour

café.‖



―What!‖



Her blood boils,



―I must ......... I must get myself together -- are you sure! Are you one hundred percent sure

of your facts?‖

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―Yes, came the answer, absolutely.‖



She seemed dumbstruck, not knowing what to do or what to say. Already dressed for horse

riding. She was ready to go out with her mother for a Sunday morning trot. In her frustration,

she mounts her mother‘s horse and she beats the horse. Instead of the temperamental horse

going forward, Yvonne goes flying as the horse bucks her into mid air. The floodgate swamps

its banks, and nothing stops its flow. This doesn‘t help the mood she‘s in, as she shatters into a

surge of tears. I have never seen such heartache before. Her lumped heart could not control

her emotions; she was indeed crushed and totally defeated. If only Victor could see this woman

now, I am sure he would leave Rocky alone. Oh, my heart went out to Yvonne, even though I

knew her intimately. I just wanted to hold her, but knowing I was invisible and practically an

outsider, I held myself back. Even though my heart was breaking for her part, I had to control

myself.



―If only.‖



She pauses.



―If only they can see!‖



As she yells these words with her spirit totally dejected now, she cannot stop herself crying.

Again I thought to myself.



―Victor, if only.‖



I paused momentarily to correct my emotions.



―If only Victor knew, this would not have happened.‖



She is so young to go through so much. Although her beauty overtakes me, I saw her strain

herself drastically within those three years. I remember so well that day Rocky could not pay

his income taxes. I still don‘t believe he got the money out of the sea. Now that this odd fellow

is back, what now, I asked myself. Could I get involved, and if I could - should I? No, I think

not, just maybe there is a story in this after all. And besides that, Rocky has found a job he

enjoys, was that not her biggest objective.









---§§§---









Rocky and the crew went out on a fishing trip, they hadn‘t gotten far when the ship came to a

halt. The sirens‘ could be heard all the through to the upper deck. The engine crew and Rocky

ran to the engine room. Immediately the engines were shut down, due to overheating. By the

time the officers got to the engine room, oil was splattering from the cylinder heads. Crushed

shells that had blocked the filters of the water cooler caused this. It prevented the water from

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cooling the engine, thus causing devastating problems for the engine crew. This meant they

had to return to the harbour. After dropping the anchor, the engine crew spent hours

unbolting, cleaning and assembling. After a long day they slowly made their way home.



Of course they hadn‘t heard about the news of Victor. As the fishing trawler entered the

harbour, Rocky could not believe what his eyes were about to see. Victor was standing at the

harbour café, as their company ship, drifted towards the pier. It was a very calm Sunday

afternoon. Rocky called Victor‘s brother, James, who also got a job through Barney,



―James, I cannot believe this, come here quickly!‖



With inquisitive urgency, James moved rapidly across to Rocky.



―James tell me, am I going mad or what! Is that not Victor standing on the pier?‖



―Rocky don‘t be foolish, and do not joke about the dead. He was closer than my brother,

throughout my life he was my hero.‖



―No - James, I am not joking, look for yourself!‖



―Where?‖



―There to the right of the café.‖



―Hmmm - by golly I think you may be right, he does look like Victor. But how can it be,

Victor has been declared dead for a few days already.‖



As the vessel drifted closer to dock, Victor waved to Rocky and James.



―It is him, my God - it‘s him!‖



Said Rocky, excitedly.



―Look James, his waving.‖



―You‘re right Rocky, you‘re right, it‘s my brother, Victor. Oh Deus, I can‘t believe it.‖



They both waved back excitedly, knowing that their teacher is alive. The other crewmembers

didn‘t know, and continued hauling the vessel in. They didn‘t take much notice as Rocky and

James dashed off onto the pier. When Victor saw their love for him, he ran towards them, and

they towards him. With affection he hugged and kissed Rocky on his check, then James. The

others on board just stared in absolute disbelief, not knowing how to react to this. Rocky

began to cry with an uncontrollable joy, that he almost robbed Victor of his glory. He hugged

Victor again and again and cried out.



―You are alive Master, you are -- you are alive!‖



Victor turned to Rocky and said.



―Simon, do you truly love me as I love you?‖







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Oh boy, you should have seen Rocky‘s face, he looked like someone hit him below the belt. In a

pain that cannot be fully described, Rocky just stood there hoping someone would say

something, or do something to distract Victor‘s attention. Instead everyone just stared at

Rocky, waiting in anticipation for an answer. Finally Rocky said.



―Master, you know I am your friend.‖



―Rocky, feed these people.‖



At this point Rocky wanted to board the ship, but Victor called Rocky back, and again said.



―Simon, son of John, do you truly love me as I love you?‖



Rocky looked at Victor in very much the same way. That pain became so real to Rocky that he

gazed to the ground hoping that this would end.



―Master, I will always be your friend, I promise.‖



―Rocky, take good care of this city.‖



Before Rocky could turn his head to see if there was help needed on board, Victor asked him a

third time.



―Simon, do you love me?‖



By this time Rocky was cut to the heart and answered Victor.



―Oh Master, you know my heart, yes Master, yes I love you, I love you very much, but

Master, I do not know how to love others the same way you love me.‖



Victor, nodded his head as if he were in agreement with Rocky. He then looked at Rocky and

before the crew could humiliate him, he said.



―Rocky, feed the world, I will deal with those who oppose you.‖



Rocky ran to Victor and cried on his shoulder.



―I am sorry Lord, I am truly sorry.‖



Victor held Rocky in his arms and said.



―A day will come and times of trouble will face you. There will be times when you will wish

that life itself could end. But take heart, for in that time you will glorify me. I will remove

my hand from you, but take heart, my eyes will always be upon you. You may lose your

balance in life, you may find no direction in deserted places. However, you will never lose

your seat in the heavenly. Fill my house with much wealth, because as from today you will

have the love of Deus in your life. I will pray for you and guide you along unfamiliar paths.

I will turn the darkness into light before you, and I will make rough places smooth.‖



They spend the entire day outside the harbour café, listening to the stories of how some of the

rich and famous were bargaining with father Abraham. How some of the false prophets were

plotting a plan, to come back to life to prophesy the truth. There were also some splendid

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stories, specially the one of Lazarus. Rocky, however preferred the story of the man that died

with him on that dreadful day.



Then Rocky said to Victor‘s brother, James.



―Go quickly, here is some money for meat and a few odds and ends. Tell my mother-in-law

that a miracle has happened. Tell Yvonne that Victor is back with us again, and ask her to

prepare a grand meal for at least thirty people. We will be home for dinner around seven

because our Master was dead, but is alive again. Our enemy bound him, but he has been

set free from death. Tell them, I am inviting all our friends to show them, that not even

death can control our Lord.‖



When Yvonne saw James coming a long way off, she could tell by the way he darted across the

street that he was about to see her with some news. By the time James got there, and before he

could open his mouth, she said.



―James tells me - Victor is not alive, is he?‖



He looked at her almost out of breath.



―How do you know he is alive?‖



―Doc, I mean your mother told me this morning.‖



He could see she was distressed and not herself, so he asked to use the phone. She was in no

state to talk, so she just pointed towards the phone with her index finger. He picked up the

receiver to his ear, half leaning the receiver on his shoulder. And with his right hand, started

dialling. Yvonne had to do something; she put the kettle on and set out for tea. She was hoping

to get herself into some kind of shape again. Because of the open plan kitchen in the house, she

could hear James‘s conversation on the phone.



―Hi Honey, did you know that Victor is alive and well.‖



There was a slight pause.



―Would you come around to spend the day with Yvonne? She looks as if she‘s in need of

some love and attention. She has to cater a meal for all our friends tonight, and I am afraid

she would desperately need your help.‖



There was another moment of silence - then.



―Yes, bring Martha, you know how well she prepares on short notice.‖



Then another short silence,



―OK, I love you too, see you tonight then.‖



As he lowered the receiver, she said to him.



―I‘m sorry James, deep down in my heart, I‘m sure you guys are right. But, I cannot help

worrying about our finances. Had Victor given Rocky a fixed salary, I too, will become his

pupil.‖

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James sat down to sip his tea, and said.



―I truly wish that soon you will trust Rocky. He trusts Victor for the very last cent.‖



―But James, this is not Disneyland. I cannot put my trust in a fantasy world, which doesn‘t

make sense.‖



―Oh Yvonne, have you gone to bed without food, have you slept under the stars one night,

have your cupboards been bare, and have you had nothing to wear?‖



―No, but ....!‖



―But what‘s the problem?‖



―But James, my nerves are shattered. The truth is I would like to see us become successful,

to be upstanding and loyal citizens. Not some pie in the sky hope, after we die, kind of

lifestyle.‖



―I wish I had the answer for your spirit Vonney, I truly do. All I know is that it takes faith

to believe. Yes that is it, faith is the key that unlocks the storehouse to life that is

meaningful and rich. Take a look at Mary for example; She has by far less than you

materially, yet look at her Spirit.‖



―I know James, but I cannot help the way I am.‖



Then James got up, giving the impression he must leave soon.



―I must go now. Martha and my old lady will be here soon and remember there is a party

tonight. Come now cheer up there‘s only a few years left, if we are lucky. Remember what

Victor said.‖



―What did he have to say now?‖



―Not much, only that the end is near.‖



Before he could end his sentence, in stepped Yvonne‘s parents all dressed as if they had come

from a business date.



―Hello, James haven‘t seen you for a long time.‖



―Hello Aunty Gail, hello uncle Tony, Rocky wants to know if he can have a few friends over

tonight. He wants to celebrate the miracle survival of Victor.‖



―Victor alive, I thought he was....‖



Before she could continue, Yvonne bursts out in tears.



―Sorry, honey.‖ She gave her daughter a hug, then turned towards James, and said.



―Yes tell Rocky he may, just remind him of my rules. I want my house in the same order, as

I left it.‖

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Then she turned to her daughter.



―Listen, Sweetheart, I would love to stay with you, but I cannot. Your father and I have

already planned a very important business meeting. Tell Victor we are sorry, we would

love to have been with him, nevertheless these are plans we cannot break.‖



As James was leaving the apartment, he thought of what Victor taught them about the excuses

made by some. What was of utmost importance and why they shouldn‘t follow him.

Personally, I thought they were quite stupid. Who has heard of such nonsense, imagine the

dead burying the dead? I wonder if he meant that the dead are dead in their deeds, and they

are burying other men in their sin, I wish I knew.



―I must go now.‖



And off he ran. Yvonne tried to regain her emotional status, by saying.



―You know mother, I have never seen James sit for five minutes, and he is always running

wherever he goes.‖



―Vonney, I hope you are going to take this well. Aren‘t you just a bit curious that Victor is

a hoax?‖



―That‘s it mom, please will you.‖



―Will I what?‖



―Will you please come with me to Cape Town this very minute?‖



―For heavens sake, what for my child!‖



―I need to go to the museum to see for myself.‖



―OK, but we have to move fast, I have an obligation to meet.‖



Just then, Mary and Martha arrive. They all got into her mother‘s vehicle and Gail drove

them to Cape Town. When they arrived at the museum, Yvonne runs into the historical

building. It wasn‘t long and she was out again, the look on her face said it all. It is true then,

the glass box is empty.









---§§§---









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From the first signs of morning, it proved to be a lovely day, with shopkeepers, hanging

banners of bunnies in every major shopping store. Yes, easter-egg time was coming soon.

Chocolates, that would just lay untouched in a crystal bowl. A temptation for any child - who

are they kidding, even adults are attracted to that crystal bowl. That evening it was still very

warm. Just as well, there were so many people at Tony and Gail‘s house that no one could even

fit on the smallholding. Andrew and little John, was asked to go down to the bakery and buy

all the bread and rolls. So instead of a big meal, everyone settled with a roll, some cold meat

and mixed salad. There were so many people that the traffic department blocked off the street.

Some people brought their own food and shared it with those that came to visit. I was

wondering if Victor was going to multiply the bread rolls again. I missed it last time and I

would like to see how he did it.



After an early meal, I could tell that everybody was in high spirits. Except for one dear little

soul, Rocky‘s poor wife. She was in her room with her door closed, and her head buried in a

cushion on her bed. She was weeping with her broken heart crushed on the duvet. As for

Rocky, he was singing and dancing in the street. Everyone had their eyes peeled on Victor,

wondering if it was really he. One of Victor‘s pupil‘s was even brave enough to touch his scars.

With that, he bowed down and kissed Victor‘s feet, weeping out loud. There was a silence in

the crowd while Tommy, who was normally an unemotional chap, was unable to get a hold of

himself, but managed to say.



―Lord, you are my only Master. You are my Deus - you are truly the Saviour and the King

of this world!‖



I was waiting for Victor to rebuke Tommy, because what he had just said, was clearly

blasphemy... Did you hear what he said?



―My Master and my Deus!‖



Am I hearing correctly did he call Victor, Deus in front of all these people? Victor being a

teacher of the law should have certainly corrected him, or I‘m sure some witness will.



―Tommy, my dear friend.‖



Here it comes, I knew Victor would correct him. As he helps Tommy to his feet.



―Thank you my brother, the Spirit of Deus has supported you and opened your eyes.

Because you have seen me, you believe. I will bless you because you believe, but I will bless

those more who have not seen, and yet have believed.‖



Then Victor turned to the crowd, placed his hand on Tommies shoulder. He rebuked the other

Pupils for their lack of faith. Well, even I was certainly shocked; here I thought he was going to

rebuke Tommy. Instead what does he do, just the opposite. Either this Victor is a nut case, or

he is, who he claimed to be. After Victor had reprimanded the Pupils, he got the crowds to sit

down and reminded them of a story.



―Remember the story of a farmer who planted a vineyard.‖



Some nodded, while others remained quiet.



―Now for the benefit of all those who have not heard this story before, I will repeat it

again.‖

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James handed him a loudspeaker but it was unnecessary, the crowd heard him distinctly and

he continued without it.



―There was a farmer who had several farms in Zimbabwe. He would go out to plant a

vineyard, and then he would rent it out. He had an electric fence placed around it for

safekeeping, and then he got a contractor to build a water tower. This too became a

watchtower from where he had an excellent view. He rented the vineyard to some Ministers

of Parliament and then he went on early retirement. As was the custom at harvest time, the

owner would send his agent to collect some of the revenue of the vineyard. Who can

remember what they did to the agent?‖



―They beat him.‖



―That‘s right little John. Yes, they seized the agent, beat him up and sent him back empty-

handed. The story continued when the owner sent another agent. Shame on the Ministers,

they treated that agent even worst than the first. This agent went back home, covered in

blood and shamefully empty, as before. The owner then sends a third agent with a letter of

demand, but they tore the note up and killed the agent. Because the owner hadn‘t heard

from his agent, he sent his only son, saying.‖



He paused momentarily.



―They will respect his only son. Did they?‖



Some of the pupils replied.



―No.‖



Victor was about to move towards the devoted crowd, then for some reason he stopped and

said.



―No ... There are none that are so blind as those who cannot, or should I say - will not see.

Nevertheless, when the tenants saw it was the son they said to one another. ‗This is the

heir, come let us kill him too, and the inheritance will be ours.‘ So they took him and killed

him, and threw him out of the vineyard.‖



Then Victor moved towards the crowd, and continued.



―What do you think the owner did after he found out that his one and only son had died?‖



Someone in the crowd said.



―Call the police.‖



―I don‘t think so, they owned the police.‖



―The old man must have been angry.‖ Said one of the youngsters.



―Yes, I‘m sure, he was more than angry.‖



Then Victor told the people what the story meant.

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―The owner of the vineyard is Deus Almighty, the vineyard is the world, and the farmers

are the fallen creatures, created by greed.‖



Then Rocky stood up swiftly, and said.



―Master, we believe you are the Son of Deus, but why did you have to die, we don‘t

understand?‖



Victor could see that this puzzled the people.



―Relax Rocky, I will explain. Deus has always wanted to be man‘s best friend, yet man has

chosen another route. Therefore, ‗all men‘ had lost Deus‘s favour. However, there are some

men and women that want Deus‘ back in their lives again. The only problem is that

someone had to pay the price.‖



―Price, what price!‖



Said Rocky, as if he would pay for it.



―Rocky, the price is an offering of death.‖



―Death?‖



―Yes, someone had to be sacrificed. Deus would not accept an imperfect offering. If a

perfect person or even a perfect angel died for the sin of the world, Deus would set

mankind free. But I am afraid, there are no perfect people, nor are their perfect angels.‖



Rocky then said.



―Hold it Master, you told us that only a third of the angels fell into sin.‖



―That is true, very true Rocky, angels are not perfect, some have fallen into an evil state.

Let me tell you even those angels that haven‘t fallen into that evil state, you that believe in

me will judge even those angels. Now tell me Rocky why do angels long to look into the

salvation of mankind?‖



―I don‘t know Master?‖



Then Victor said a very strange thing that got me thinking.



―After Adam and Eve blew it in the garden, I had to shut man out of the Garden of Eden,

as soon as possible.‖



―Why?‖



Shouted another in the crowd.



―Yes Victor, why did you have to shut man out of the garden, would it not have been safer

in the Garden of Eden, instead of this hell we live in today?‖







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―No, Rocky. No, no, no, it would have been man‘s final hour, and then it would have been

the worst decision, my father and I would have made. Man had already fallen into a state

of sin, all he had to do was to eat of the tree of that life and that would end his chance of

salvation forever. Then all mankind would have to live in their sinful condition eternally,

without any hope of Deus‘ grace.‖



There was a silent pause, while Victor had that look in his eye, one could see there was more to

his story. It was at this point that I thought maybe the fallen angels had already tasted of the

tree of life, therefore there was no hope for them. Before Rocky could open his mouth, Victor

said.



―I tell you the truth, today in your hearing I have opened the Garden of Eden to anyone

who would like to taste of the tree of life and enjoy eternal life with me in paradise.‖



With one voice they all shouted.



―Where is the tree of life?‖



To this Victor replied.



―I am the tree of life, whoever eats my flesh and drinks my blood will have life to its full

and this will satisfy all believers eternally.‖



―Lord, what on earth are you talking about?‖ Replied Rocky sternly.



―In the beginning was the tree of knowledge of good and evil and there was the tree of life.

Only the tree of knowledge of good and evil was discouraged.‖



Before Victor could add a word, Rocky blurted out...



―Why?‖



―Well, Rocky schooling is on everyone‘s lips, the libraries have proven that. It doesn‘t

matter how gifted you are in your prayer life or how much faith you have, as long as your

brain can improve the technology of the world you have a job. But knowledge has not

saved man from their root cause, which is sin. I tell you the truth, if you have attained all

knowledge of the words of the prophets of old and the complete canon of my Word; you

will die a miserable death. However, if my Word lives in you and you in me, you will spend

eternity with me. Although all have sinned and fall short of my father‘s glory, every one of

you will die in your sinful state. Therefore the tree of life is without sin and has taken upon

itself all the sin of the world. Hence, whoever eats of me will never go hungry and whoever

drinks of me will never go thirsty for I am the tree of life.‖



―You don‘t make sense Lord. Why would we want to eat and drink from your body, it

sounds so barbaric?‖



Then Victor made a statement from the Holy writings.



―In the beginning was the Word and the Word was with Deus and the Word is Deus. The

Word became flesh‖ then Victor paused for a moment and said, ―and now stands before

you - oh, how much knowledge you have, yet you still don‘t understand.‖





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There was a small group of religious leaders who began to snigger. Victor knew their thoughts

and this is how he responded.



―Those who live by their good works and their many man made laws will be judged by it,

but those who live by faith in me and has asked for mercy, I myself will be condemned,

crucified and receive their judgment and at the end all knowledge will vanish.‖



―What is faith?‖ Came a half desperate cry from the crowd.



Victor, paused for a while, made himself comfortable. Just by the way he did things I knew a

story in parable form would come out.



―From the foundation to the roof, the architect missed nothing, it was solid and striking.

No earthquake could shudder it; no storm could unsettle it, its foundation was so secure,

nothing had power over it. As for a double story house, it was impressive in every way. It

has several rooms downstairs and several upstairs. The entrance to the house is inspiring

with one flight of steps leading to the first floor. At the top of the flight is a notably solid

door with an easily forgotten teak design. Behind the door is a voice that calls out in a soft

voice saying. ―If any man hears my voice, and opens the door I will come down and give

you my share of the house.‖ From time to time he would knock, when he knew someone

was paying him attention. Now the door was impossible to open from either side for it was

locked. Rumor has it that the former tenants have hid the key in the house.‖



Then one man sheepishly put his hand up saying; ―Is faith the foundation, or is it the house?‖

―It is neither,‖ said Victor. ―It is key the that opens the door to my fathers rooms upstairs.‖

Then the man said, ―I have looked for such a key all my life, but I have not found it, what does

it look like?‖ It is good that you have chosen to look for it, there are some that never do, and

there are some that believe that any key would do. There are even some that teach others that

they have the key, but never open the door. There are other devious men that have convinced

themselves that they are the only ones who have the key and have led many astray. Ask, and

you will receive, seek and you will find, knock and the door will open. ―Sir, where can I find

this key?‖ ―I am the key, you are the ground floor to the house. Seek me first and you will find

me, I am the door, knock and I will open up to you, ask whatever you wish and you will

discover how generous I am. Up stairs are many rooms, these rooms are designed to make you

prosperous, don‘t let others persuade you that it is not so. Then, store for yourself riches

upstairs where no rust will be found, where no thieves will be allowed in. If that‘s where your

treasures are, that‘s where your mind will ponder most of the time.‖





While some were milling over what was said and trying to grasp this kind of teaching, he just

disappeared.



Then I knew this man had to be who he had claimed to be, unique in everyway and without

any faults.



That evening or shall I say early morning, after everyone retired to their homes, Rocky heard

Yvonne silently sobbing next to him.



―What is the matter Sweetheart, everyone is so happy and you are so dispirited? What is

wrong, my darling?‖







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She could not get herself to talk to Rocky, she just dug herself deeper into her cushion; Rocky

must have said, the wrong or maybe the right thing.



―Is this not good news that Victor is back?‖



At those words... ―Good news!‖



I could see she remembered that day, when she fell off her mother‘s horse.



―Good news!!! -- Good news!!! - rubbish!!!‖



Then she broke into tears and could no longer contain herself. For so many years she lived a

lie, faking her joy and her marriage, while deep down, hoping that this Victor would

disappoint Rocky. And that one day this so-called faith thing would discourage Rocky. She had

been hoping, she had been longing, even praying. Yes, praying to the unknown, that some day

she could have her Rocky to herself. His heart could take it no longer, deep down Rocky has a

very soft spot. Yvonne‘s broken spirit started to affect his emotional status. Even if Rocky,

knowing all truth about who Victor is and could spell it out as clear as it was taught to him, he

couldn‘t even try convincing her, she was that emotionally heartbroken. Like the saying goes.



―Torn between two lovers, feeling like a fool.‖



Rocky starts to weep, he finally realizes that his own wife doesn‘t want to make Victor part of

their dream. She looks up to Rocky, her eyes swollen and puffy, with heavy layers of tears

running and mingling with what little makeup is left under her eyelids.



―Oh, Rocky!‖



-- Sniff --



―You need to know this much; I do love you, but I despise Victor. I hate this friend of

yours, his ideas and his philosophy are sickening. Just to think that he spends his time with

prostitutes makes me want to vomit, and you accept some of the scum that follow him. I

have given and given, now I can‘t no more.‖



Not knowing what to say as the tears start flowing from Rocky‘s face, he slides off the bed to

his knees with his elbows digging deeper into the duvet. Rocky is wondering if she is going to

ask him to make a choice between her and Victor. He‘s hoping that those thoughts do not enter

her mind; then the obvious happens.



―Rocky, I either want you all to myself, or I don‘t want you at all.‖ I remember Victor

saying something on the same line to Rocky, once upon a time.



―Woman, what are you putting me through, I love you. Can‘t you see that, let‘s talk about

this tomorrow?‖



―No, Rocky for three years I have been eating this shit, and from now on, no more.‖

Do you know what‘s funny? Before Rocky met Victor he used to swear like a trooper. I never

heard her swear or say anything bad about anybody. And, since he has met Victor, Rocky has

changed so much that I had forgotten his old habits. While Rocky is still on his knees, he starts

to pray silently to himself.





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―Deus, please help me, I don‘t know what to do!‖



Rocky stared blankly at a pattern on the curtain, hoping to find an answer. What made it

worse was the fact that he remembered what Victor had said.



―Rocky, all things will workout together for your own good, however you need to keep your

eyes focused on me, and the words I say.‖



Rocky turned towards her again.



―Can‘t we talk about this tomorrow sweetheart, and then we can ask Lukie to counsel us

and whatever he says, we will work at it?‖



―Are you prepared to leave Victor tomorrow, yes or no - Rocky?‖



―No sweetheart, I cannot.‖



―That settles it then, tomorrow I‘m moving out of your life once and forever, please don‘t

bother asking me where I‘m going.‖



―Don‘t be silly, let us go away for a few days and see if we cannot compromise and start

working on building a family relationship.‖



―Rocky, it‘s too late for that, you should have thought about that before you gave up

everything for this Victor, and that includes you giving up me.‖



―Sweetheart, I never gave you up!‖



―Yes you did, you just don‘t realize it, and please don‘t call me Sweetheart. It makes me

sick to know that you have two lovers in your life, while I have to play second fiddle.‖



―Honey, let us talk tomorrow.‖



They both lie together on the bed, back-to-back, unable to talk to each other. If there was ever

a display of pride this was a typical example. Rocky wanted to turn over, but they would not

face each other, even if it meant that they could not sleep as a result of their numb sides. You

could see that neither of them slept for hours. Somehow I could see that Yvonne had made her

mind up. I could see the hardened look on her face, more likely planning her own future now.

Rocky on the other hand just stared towards the wall. Every now and then, there would be a

tear that gently moved down his check, passing his lips and tickling his nose from time to time.

Rocky started wondering.



―How did this come about without my knowledge?‖



The more he thought about his marriage the more the tears rolled.



After many hours of fighting to sleep, Rocky finely was sound asleep. He woke up late that

morning. He turned to Yvonne, with the thought of patching things up. However, she was not

there. He called out for her, not too loud though, just in case he woke up the parents. The only

response he got, was the sound of his own voice. He thought that she would be downstairs in

the kitchen, or more likely outside in the garden. Or just maybe she‘s trying to keep herself





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occupied in the stable, or even out for a ride. He slowly got to his feet, rubbed the sleep from

his eyes and bent down to remove his shorts. There he noticed a note.



―I hope this doesn‘t mean.‖



He opened the letter and this is what it said.



―Dear Rocky, by the time you get this note I would have been long gone. Yes, I am leaving

you, you are absolutely thoughtless. You cannot even supply me with my basic needs, to be

loved and to have children. Yes, I have wanted to fall pregnant for years and all you can

think about is your boyfriend. I need my own space now. To think about myself and my

future for a change. Do not try and find me, I don‘t need you any longer. From today on,

my happiness will not be found in this marriage.‖



That woke Rocky up, he found himself running down the stairs and calling out for her. But the

fact was, he was wrong in thinking she would never leave him. She had packed her bags and

was on her way out of town. He found emptiness in himself once again. Unable to think

logically, his brain was moving at a pace he could not control. His body was numb, his head

was throbbing, and he ran to the back door, then to the front, and then to the phone.



―I must do something, I must -- I must!‖



Since he met Victor, he was becoming better at controlling his emotions. But today will be the

test of his faith. Normally he would loose his control very easily, yet today was sort of

controlled anger for Rocky, anyway. He shouted out, as he picked up the phone to dial.



―Damn it, Yvonne what on earth are you trying to do to our marriage!‖



Now signs of out of control appeared through the cracks, as he slammed the phone back on the

hook. ‗Oh boy here it comes‘. Not quite dressed he dashed out to see if she had taken the car.

She hadn‘t, he ran back inside, got dressed, grabbed the car keys and set off for Tommy‘s

house. If she wanted to be comforted, she would always go to their house first. Whilst

travelling, his mind is in such a blank that he drove through a red robot. Fortunate for him the

traffic may have been elsewhere, but not at that robot. She was not to be found at Tommy, or

at any of the families, nor their friends. As he drove from one to the other, he realized the

enormity of his problem.



―Where the blazes can she be? Deus I hope she doesn‘t commit suicide.‖



As that thought impacted his mind, he remembered a cliff where they often drove too in the

days that they were courting. The memories filled his eyes to overflowing and the thought of

her wanting to end her life, even more so. He loved her; there was no doubt about it. As he

thought about the night before, he understood how wrong he was. He realized that it was

unfair of him to have rolled over, leaving her cold and without giving her, the needed attention

she should have received.









---§§§---





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There was a crowd of people down town, they were marching with banners and waving their

flags to the beat of their own drum. This brought attention to most of the people who lived a

very acceptable lifestyle. Like most people, they either saw it or heard it live on the news. Some

went down to pay attention to what was happening in Adderley Street, the centre of town. The

world had to know what was happening, so in hustled the camera crew, for the world TV

News. No one had seen such a demonstration like it before. There were people of all ages and

race groups dancing and showing off their banners. As if this would change the world from

their thinking. The roads were blocked off and traffic officers had to redirect the traffic. For

some people, this was the most disgusting display demonstrated in Cape Town.



There were men dressed as woman with hardly any clothes on. There were women kissing each

other, but they were making seductive idiots of themselves. I couldn‘t understand their point,

as most of the banners declared freedom for the ‗Gay Movement‘. I was wondering how

would, building a nation to become gay, bring about freedom? For days after that, there was

much talk about the freedom of the gay movement. Well, this was never allowed in my day,

thank you. The news has become ever more depressing, with children becoming drug addicts

or kidnapped. Prostitution and murders are on the increase, while empires build their castles,

many die of famine. Governments tearing down weaker countries and Industry destroying the

environment. Rulership and power routing out the weak and broken hearted. And yet some

grandparents will have to live off pets‘ food to survive. This my dear friend is mankind

destroying each other to get to the top. And of course, satanic media and music to brainwash

future generations.



I turned my thoughts away from the failures of this life. My main concern was for the

marriage of Rocky and Yvonne. Then something more important caught my attention. Victor

was walking with a another crowd, only they were walking in the complete opposite side of

town. I thought it quite strange at first. ‗Why were they not protesting? Why were they

walking in the opposite direction?‘ My answer came as I was about to find out. There were

crowds who were walking around Victor, dancing and singing. Then way off on the street

corner was an old beggar shouting.



―Victor, have mercy on me!‖



I‘m afraid, Victor was far to busy, and not close enough for him to hear. The old man

shouted even louder, and those who did hear him, silenced him.



―Victor, have mercy on my soul!‖



Victor stopped, and said.



―Who called me?‖



―Master, there are so many singing and dancing.‖ Then another said. ―But, teacher, I

heard no one call your name.‖



Victor stopped, then the crowds slowed down, once again the beggar cried out.



―Master please have mercy on me, Master...!‖



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By this time no one could keep the old man quite. Victor walked towards the old beggar.



―Master, Master please help me.‖



Victor took his hand and said.



―Good day my friend, how can I help you?‖



The beggar was quick to clutch onto Victor‘s hand. One could see he was blind by the way his

head was tilted, as if a fly was buzzing 30 mm to the right of Victor‘s ear.



―Master, the people tell me you‘ve got magic in your hands and that you can heal, by just

touching people.‖



―If you see what this world sees, then it is better to remain blind. But, on the other hand, if

you see what I see.‖



―Master I want to see. I do not need to see evil, to know it!‖



―Did you know it is better to be blind and enjoy eternity, than to have your sight and spend

eternity blind?‖



―Master, I believe you.‖



―Your faith has healed you. No eye has seen, no ear has heard, what my father has stored

up for those that trust and obey. Go now and tell the teachers of the law that you can see.‖



The old beggar, still blind took his cane and made his way slowly down the road. Blindly, he

walked up the temple steps, making his way towards the elders. Yet by faith he continued to do

what he was told. When he reached the entrance of the temple, he saw pictures of moving

objects. He was unable to see the leaders without an appointment. However, by the time he got

up the stairs, he could see. As he was leaving the temple grounds, he tossed his cane into the

air, and rejoicing in a loud voice, he cried out, that all the leaders could hear him.



―Once I was blind, but now I can see. Once I was dead, but today I have received life,

thanks to Victor Crosswell, thanks be to Deus!‖



When Yvonne left, most of her friends and her family thought that she would be back in a few

days. Instead she had taken whatever savings she had, and just disappeared. She didn‘t leave a

note to say where she was heading, and she didn‘t contact anybody. More than two weeks had

passed, and everyone was baffled by her disappearance. Rocky stayed with little John from

time to time, because of the tension living with his in-laws. On the day Victor visited them,

Rocky fell to his knees before him, and said.



―Master, I am brought very low, all day long I go about anguishing. My back is filled with

pain, my neck suffers from the torment and there is no health in my bones. I feel feeble,

totally smashed and my heart cries out for royal blood. I cry day and night for my loss. My

heart beats, yet my strength fails me. Every desire longs for healing, and even my family

thinks I am a failure.‖







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Rocky pauses and waits for Victor to say something, the only answers that can be heard are

those of the birds chirping outside. Then he continues.



―Victor, are there evil creatures plotting to destroy my life? Master, set traps to destroy

them. Please Master, I feel more like the blind, who has a great desire to taste, but has no

sense of touch. Like a worm who cannot open his mouth. Have I become deaf, or are there

no words, for my agonizing grieve.‖



Rocky waits in anticipation but again, not a word was said.



―Master, do not let the darkness boast or exalt themselves over my life. Even when I fall, I

feel like a fallen glutton. That pain torments me day and night; even the darkness cannot

hide my pain. You are my Saviour, O Master; cover me with your grace. Do not hide your

face from my soul, for I am hard pressed from every side! Save me from despair, for I am

scared that my own tears will drown me. I will sink in my own pain, where life does not

satisfy. My eyes are currently paralysed from the fear and I am worn out from calling out

for help. I‘m afraid that I may waste away, and someone takes away my vitality. I will

surely loose my friends and my family. Even the dogs will delight in my sorrow.‖



Rocky pauses again, hoping that the Master would say something.



―Master Victor, do not allow me to be humiliated by my peers. O Master, I believe you are

omnipotent and have mercy for your friends; you search for truth and put our enemies to

shame. O Master of true peace, you endured the mockery for us all. Your will to die for us,

is our shame. Your portrait reveals your scars, while ours bear our shame.‖



Rocky feels a little uneasy and maybe embarrassed that Victor doesn‘t intervene, nonetheless

he continues.



―Master, rescue me from this reservoir, do not let me sink lower than my enemies; deliver

me from those who hate me and this deep ocean of depression. Do not allow the floodgates

to quench my testimony. In your vast mercy, find room for me. I need your embrace, like

the prodigal father to his lost son. Do not play hide and seek with those that supported you.

Now it is I who am suffering!‖



After awhile, Rocky starts becoming humbly quiet, yet he remains self-centered.



―I will council myself.‖



Then Rocky breaks down and starts to cry.



―Master you are the same yesterday, today you have not changed and for always you will

be the same. As Job cried out, as David wept, as Jeremiah suffered with countless others.

My strength is crushed and my heart has left me helpless. I am not even sure, to whom I

must turn to. I cannot run to a comfortable life, because I cannot find one. I feel persecuted

for being despondent; where is this lifeline to protect me, O my Deus?‖



Then Rocky reminds Victor of Yvonne, by saying.



―O Sovereign Master, who can separate me from the woman I love? Who can it be? Where

is she, tell me - so I can go out and find her? If I don‘t find her, I will become a stranger to





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myself. If you do not answer me, I will become a foreigner to my own mother‘s son. Those

who dwell with me will taunt me and I will become the tune of there drunkenness!‖



Victor then said. ―My dear brother, Rocky.‖



Rocky replied.



―I will do anything you say, Master, anything!‖



Victor putting his hand on Rocky‘s shoulder, said.



―If you do what I tell you to do, your depression will lift.‖



―I will, I will. Just tell me what to do.‖



―Rocky, Deus Himself is your support at all times, and especially when you are sinking in

deep trouble. There are seasons when you will sink very low in humiliation. Under a deep

sense of your great sinfulness, you will be humbled before Deus till you barely know how to

pray. Well, Rocky, remember that when you are at your worst and lowest, still underneath

your load, are the everlasting arms. Sin may drag you so low, but my blood has atonement

for you and is still under all that darkness. You may have descended into the deep, but you

cannot have fallen so low that you slip from our arms. When every earthly sustenance is

taken from you, what then? Still underneath are the everlasting arms. You maybe sinking

in trouble from within, through fierce conflict, even then you cannot be sinking so deep as

to be beyond the reach of the everlasting arms. The arms of Deus are underneath you, and

while He supports you, all Satan's efforts to harm you profits him nothing.‖



Then he placed his hand under Rocky‘s chin, lifted his head, and said.



―Lift your head up high, you do not need to be embarrassed and listen carefully now. A

wise man will invest himself, before his funeral does. If you make-up your bed, you will

experience your day? Therefore, live it as if it were your last day on earth. It is better to be

alone and have a relationship with your Deus, than to have friends, which cloud your

vision. Do not think of your past mistakes, or of your present heartache, nor what

tomorrow has in store for you. If you experience a tomorrow, give thanks for it.

Nevertheless, greet each day with love in your heart. Do this for yourself, and then do it for

others. Teach yourself to present yourself one hundred percent better than yesterday. Have

the best attitude and don‘t allow your emotions to rule your day. Set goals to invest in the

world today, because your interest is in heaven tomorrow. If you make it through the

winter, you can enjoy the summer. But if a man‘s treasure is buried within himself, he digs

a pit for his friends. Now help others to become physically, spiritually, psychologically,

socially and financially independent and pray for power from your heavenly Father.‖









---§§§---









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Meanwhile, without a clue of her plans, Yvonne had travelled northwards. She caught a bus to

Worcester, and from there she caught a train to Johannesburg. She was determined to find

work on her own. The type of job didn‘t matter, independence did. She walked the streets of

central business communities, but she was either not qualified enough or not qualified at all.

More importantly she wasn‘t prepared emotionally and/or psychologically. By then she was

starting to become desperate, and she thought Hillbrow would be the place to go. There are so

many restaurants; surely she would get a job. It didn‘t take her long to make that decision and

try out waitressing. ‗This would be easy money, she thought.‘ Yvonne now went with-a-bit

more confidence than before. She was attractive and would make it, I‘m sure she knew that.



The first manager invited her in. When she saw the place, she wanted to walk out straight

away. This is no restaurant; this was a strip club on meals. Serving food with five percent

clothing on, was never part of her deal. Of course, she declined his offer. She could not and

would not respect these kind of men. While they are eating, they are watching women reveal

their hidden secrets. So she left there and discovered that most of the restaurants had become

just as degrading and at times worse. But, in her desperation she takes an offer to clean tables

and wash dishes. Her job was so degrading and she was so embarrassed, however her boss was

kind and soft towards her. At first, she barely made enough money to make it through the

month. The waitresses made a fortune, through tips to pay for their hotel expenses. While she

stayed in a dump, and was barely able to buy a few essentials. She was in walking distance of

the restaurant, and this was scary to say the least. The kind of people you would definitely not

allow your friends, or family to hang around with. You can only imagine, she hated night

shifts.



No one heard from her for almost a month now. Rocky was in a state, although Victor told him

not to worry. Rocky went to all her friends, old school mates, he searched old work colleagues

and associates and came up empty handed. After many days of searching he went to the police

station. But he had already achieved more than they had scribbled down on pieces of paper.

Then he decided to print one of her latest photographs and paste it up, at all the major

shopping centres and cafés, around town. After a major load of stress from her family, he

decided to clear the matter with Victor. He then told him everything about that evening, the

feelings he has for her, and the hatred she has towards him. ―And this all because I chose to

follow you‖. Then Victor said.



―Rocky, I have known about your struggles. But believe me, life will never be free for those

outside my glory. They will always run after happiness and never unlock the truth of their

joy, within themselves. Rocky your wife has gone up north, but don‘t go after her. The

plans she has will bring her back to you. In the meantime, I want you to move in with us.

Doc has already made up your room.‖



There was quite a bit of tense atmosphere between Rocky and his mother-in-law. And he was

glad to pack his belongings and move in with Victor, that afternoon. Doc loved Rocky as if he

was her own son. She made him something to eat, and while he was busy in the kitchen, she

packed his personal belongings. Rocky loved Doc, as if she was his own mother. Her open

honesty and her sense of humour made her popular amongst the men in her home. Her boys

respected her for the way they were brought up. Rocky was sorry he didn‘t get to know their

father. As for their father, he had died in a tragic accident many years ago.



Yvonne still had no contact with her parents and friends for more than a month now. In her

mind she wanted to block out the past, and pretend that she only had a future ahead of her.

She was unhappy to earn such a little money. She needed more and those two hundred Rand

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The heart of the Caterpillar

notes, she noticed being slipped for tips. This was becoming ever more tangible and undressing

became gradually natural. She went to her boss and told him that she was ready. Things went

well for a while. This enabled her to move out of her filthy block into a hotel. Besides the men

did nothing to the girls, all they wanted, were some boys‘ fun. This is just what some men

enjoyed, before they screwed around.



Then there was this one evening, when she had to work till well after two in the morning. The

evenings she didn‘t like, but she needed the money. The big sales are expected during the

weekends, and this evening was a quiet Tuesday. There were only two ladies on duty that

evening, and most of the time they would sit and talk about their customers, or about the

highest tip they got for one night. Yvonne did well at the tips, she always exposed herself very

attractively and had a way of drawing wealthy men to her tables. It was after closing time

when three men walked in. They were not dressed too badly, in fact one of them was dressed

very smartly with a double-breasted suit. The other two were smart casual.



The other staff had already left, which complicated matters. Only Yvonne and her boss were

left, because he was going to give her a lift. The three men had been drinking which changed

their appearances somewhat. One of the chaps you could see had more than his fair share to

drink. This made circumstances a little uncomfortable, because the restaurant was closed and

the staff had gone home. A gay boss and Yvonne, a very straight waitress had to defend the

restaurant. The door had a closed sign on it, but this did not disturb these displaced men. They

appeared to be in full spirits, laughing as they waltzed in. One hangs from the others shoulder,

as if their joints were connected. Yvonne went over to tell them that the restaurant is closed.

As she was about to address the men, the one who really looked intoxicated started with her.



―Hey, sexy come here and sit next to me, hic - and I will show you the heavens.‖



―Sorry, gentlemen we are closed, the staff is cleaning up in the kitchen.‖



She lied, to protect herself. One of the men went into the kitchen, only the boss was there. He

took out his revolver and shot her boss, in cold blood. Then he walked into the dinning room

and said. ―Now, there is no one in the kitchen dear.‖ Yvonne was so scared; she turned to him

and said.



―Please sir, don‘t hurt me, I will make you some food.‖



―Fuck the food baby, come here and we will grill our own sausage, the kind you want to

taste.‖



The guy grabbed her by the arm, pulling her towards him, as if he was about to kiss her.

Instead with his free hand he placed it up her skirt and started tearing her underwear and

said.



―Come on bitch, we will have this burger instead.‖



Fear rose within Yvonne, as she crouched down pushing his arm away from her. The alcohol

fumes of his breath reeked, yet mingled with the fumes was an affluent aftershave. His

strength was too much for her, as he pinned her to the table. With fear marked on her face, she

was unable to move. Her mind was blank and without thinking she managed to say to him.



―Please Sir, I am a married woman.‖





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The three men are well-known gang members of the so called, ―New World Order‖. They

ignored her plea as they so often do. One of the men stood up and said to the other.



―Let me take care of this bitch.‖



He grabbed her and pulled her up from the table. She could not open her mouth and scream,

and she so desperately wanted to. The words just couldn‘t come out. The man standing next to

her put his huge hands around her neck to strangle her.



―Please Sir, do anything, but please don‘t kill me.‖



He released his grip and brought his hands down her neck, gently moving his fingers inside her

blouse to undo the buttons. He undid the first then the second then the third, and then he

opened her top and was about to place his hands over her breasts. The few seconds had given

her time to realize what was about to happen, so she held his arms and shouted in a loud voice.



―No-ooooo!‖



Then the man got angry and punched her full in the face that she bounced straight back onto

the table. The blood gushed to her head and immediately started to bleed from her lips and her

nose. He then grabbed her by her blouse and pulled her and with his fist was about to hit her

again. With fear she blocks her head with her free arm. Then in a quivering voice says.



―Please Sir, don‘t hit me.‖



Instead of hitting her, he pushed her back on the table. The two guys grabbed her arms, and

the one said.



―Fuck her Jack, fuck her.‖



Jack didn‘t need encouragement; he pulled her skirt up and tore her panties off. As Yvonne

stared at the rotating blades on the ceiling, and with a numb feeling of absolute hell, she

realized she had just been raped. Each man had taken advantage of her and didn‘t notice her

boss in the kitchen. Although his strength was gone, he managed to call the police from the

kitchen. After these vicious men raped her, they just left her lying on the table. Then they

walked out of the restaurant as if they had enjoyed a meal and one said.



―Listen baby, next time, make sure the kitchen is open.‖



After the men left, Yvonne was still staring at a blank ceiling unable to move, with the blood

still trickling down her cheek. Her boss made the call to the police and then his spirit

disappeared, like every other soul that breathed no more. It seemed like an hour went by,

when the police arrived on the scene. They first found the owner. Soon after that they found

Yvonne cuddled up, trembling in the far corner of the dinning room.









---§§§---







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Yvonne was rushed to hospital and the staff on duty wanted to know her particulars, including

her next of kin. She did not want her family to know, and now she was too embarrassed to let

Rocky, back into her life. She thought she would be unable to pay for the hospital fees, so she

asked the nurse to contact Victor Crosswell. She thought, that it is about time that she

challenged him for her mishap. ‗If Victor hasn‘t time for me now, then he never had time for

any women.‘ Although she despised him for taking Rocky away from her, she turned to the

nurse and said.



―Please do not tell him of my condition.‖



Her plans were to make Victor guilty of his actions and somehow blame him for the breakup

of their marriage. However, at the back of her mind, she was hoping that Rocky would have

nothing to do with him, and maybe even come back to her.



The nurse did not contact Victor Crosswell because she heard all kinds of rumours about him,

and was scared that she might loose her job. Victor didn‘t need an invitation, as he got the

message before the nurse did. Before the doctors even saw Yvonne, he was on his way to see

her.



Victor arrived early that morning. The hospital staff was still tending to Yvonne when Victor

walked in and said to her.



―Yvonne, in this world you will have trouble and in many respects it can wreck your

physical, emotional, psychological, financial, social and spiritual being. However, it cannot

destroy the soul, only my father can destroy both body and soul. Did you know that I came

to give life, and life in its fullness and by doing so I am willing to repair the soul to its

original state. This means I came to give you health and strength. I came to give you peace

and joy that should bubble over, into the lives of others. I came to give you hope for the

future and wealth for the present. I came to replace the law that many have diligently

strived for, but it is not the law that will save them now. The only thing that counts is faith

expressing itself through love.‖



Before Victor could continue,



―Just wait one minute Victor, you are talking absolute rubbish we have only one thing in

common. And that is to break up a happy family life. Besides we have never experienced

this wealth since you entered our lives.‖



Then Victor with boundless compassion said.



―Yvonne, you have asked for poverty and you have received it, you have asked for misery

and you have obtained it. You have asked for a separation from your husband and you

have found it. You have harboured sin in your thinking and now it wants to control your

life. This world wants you to be like the birds that flock together. On the other hand, Deus

wants you to be like an eagle, so stretch your wings and soar above these storms and you

will experience wealth, health, power, joy and peace will be yours.‖

―But, Victor, Please explain to me. How come there are some goody goodies that I know of,

that struggle, that become sick, that even die as a result of their belief.‖





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―Yvonne, you are right, there is a dark Friday for some, but there is also a bright Sunday.

There was Job that suffered for his Lord and as a result he proved to men that man has

power over Satan. There was Joseph who had a dream and as a result he saved a nation,

there is the gift of Deus who gave his one and only son so that the world might have life and

in abundance. Let me tell you that every man and woman will receive his or her just

reward. The poor man that loves the Master will receive much more than the rich man that

loves himself. Therefore it is better for the poor who walk blameless before the Lord, than

for the rich whose ways are perverse. Faith is the key that opens the door to life for both

the rich and the poor.‖



―Victor, but...‖



―Before you interrupt me let me clarify two areas in a person‘s character that causes them

to conquer life or to strangle life.‖



He moves a bit closer, now that he has her attention.



―The mind and the heart need to go through a transformation. First, the mind needs to

understand its own power. As a positive person thinks, so is he patterned by those

thoughts, likewise a negative person who thinks negatively is programmed by the negative

thoughts. This paradigm shifts does not happen overnight. A man doesn‘t go to bed

thinking he is rich and wakes up in the morning wealthy. A woman doesn‘t go to the doctor

thinking she has cancer, and ends up in the waiting room dead. You can‘t expect a Holy

Deus to heal the mind, when that person constantly goes to satan for advice. You

programme your future by renewing your mind, otherwise it is called a miracle.‖



Why did you only choose men as your disciples? Yvonne tried to change topics.



Dear woman, if only you would know how this world would change the world. If a man

changes for the better, his family will naturally change for the better, if a man‘s family changes

for the better, their community change‘s for the better. If a community change for the better,

then other community‘s change for the better. If many community‘s change for the better, a

city changes for the better. If a city changes for the better, the world has to take note! Then he

takes out a flyer from his pocket to give to her, and this is what it reads.



Reminders I will do today to change my life!



I will Begin a New Life today.

I will Not Worry about tomorrow for it can never buy me time, nor should I worry about

yesterday, because I cannot replace it.

I will Only think of today because it is the day the Lord has made.

I will Greet this day with Love in my heart, with Mercy towards others.

I will Praise my enemies and do good to them.

I will Love myself as Deus loves me.

I will Avoid negative thoughts and words and I will not allow this day to end with failure.

I will Strive to help others to become Successful, with all the wisdom granted to me.

I will Teach myself and present myself as a teacher to lead others 100% better than

yesterday.

I will Dress for success, Speak boldly and act Wisely because I am a Diamond in progress.

I will Greet this day with the best Attitude.

I will Treat everyone with tenderness and compassion as if it were the last days of their

lives.

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I will Be a good listener and Praise people for their deeds.

I will Not allow my emotions to rule my day.

I will Not fear that which lies ahead of me, nor will I make rash decisions when I‘m on top

form or at my lowest ebb.

I will Laugh at the world, I will laugh at myself and I will laugh at my failures and my

successes.

I will Remember that my Investment is in the world, yet my Interest is in heaven.

I will Set goals for today that will double my productivity and profitability of yesterday.

I will Share my goals with positive people only, yet I will share my wealth with the poor and

broken hearted.

I will Attempt to help others make a way to become Physically, Spiritually, Mentally,

Psychologically, Socially and Financially independent.

I will Save the first portion of my income and never be in debt to anyone.

I will Praise my Deus with all my heart and soul and strength and glorify his name forever.

I will love my neighbour, as I love myself.



With Deus‘ help, I will





...........................................

Name





―Read and believe this every morning and your life will change for the better, whether you

trust me or not. When you notice a change in your life and you know beyond a doubt that

your soul is saved, change the words, ―I will‖ to ―I am‖. Now for the second change that

needs to take place in a person‘s life - ‗The heart‘. His or her heart needs to change, if they

wish to spend eternity in heaven. How can the world change their heart? The answer is

they can‟t, if they could my life would be unnecessary. My life is essential for mankind to

survive the darkness that awaits them.

The value of a human life is the price of my life. All that I require from the world is, is that

they recognise that it is I, whom has taken them out of this darkness into the light. I have

paid the price for their corrupt heart; take note, not their mind. They will be equal to the

value of their maker, if they accept me, and all my potential will be released in them.

However, there will be those that can have a fantastic mind and end in the bottomless pit

forever, because they put their faith in themselves. The joy of sin is self-centeredness and

blinds the heart so that it cannot see the beauty of my love; therefore you can truly hate evil

through my blood. Regardless of a man‘s mindset, if they desire sin, they desire trouble.

We know of no cure for the love of evil, its roots are like bitter intercourse with Deus your

Saviour.‖



―Victor, I...‖



Distraught by mixed feelings, her voice becomes mingled with sorrow. Victor‘s voice has made

an impact in her heart. Then the Lord opened her mind to see her own sin. Like a light

shinning through she understood the story on the ―Prodigal Son‖. A trickle of tears makes its

way down her cheek. She called on Victor so that she could destroy his reputation, now all

that‘s been destroyed is her pride. Knowing she has reached rock bottom without an anchor,

she begins to cry.



―I am sorry, Victor, I am.‖





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As the words came out of her mouth, the tears streamed down her checks. These were not

tears of pain, as she had experienced hours before. This was true sorrow, then she said.



―What can I do to change my ways?‖



―Yvonne you have done everything already. All you have to do is live it out and live it up.

You were made in our image, so our father will supply all your needs according to his

riches in heaven. However, be aware, sin has a price, and not even Deus will intervene.

Therefore, forgiveness of sin will always work out for the best, for the sinner who repents.

Remember my word, remember my power in you is the greatest force in the world, one of

my ideas in your mind will cause you to conquer mountains.‖



―But, I have backslidden so badly, nobody will forgive me now!‖



―Yvonne, a nation backslides, individuals only grow. Even a stunted growth, if there be a

spark of life left, will groan after restoration. They may grow in the wrong or right

direction, and sometimes never come to know Deus. I am ―the Oak‖, you are ―the seed‖. If

you abide in ―my Word‖, I will strengthen ―your roots‖, anchor your soul and protect you

from the forces that desire to uproot you. Therefore a seed that is birthed into this world

via the King of kings, will inherit eternal life. Without me you can do nothing, you will

provide no fruit without the sap! By the same token, all will have to give an account of their

lives. Because their penalty has been lifted. Do not for one moment think they will not feel

the pain, or the suffering, by grieving the one I am about to send. The suffering they will

experience is not, what they did wrong. But rather what they did not do, to alleviate

another person‘s price of suffering.‖



―But, Lord...‖



―No buts Yvonne, terminate the lusts which quenches the Spirit of Deus. Do not let the

doctrines of this life cause you to eat, sleep and wallow in depression? You will receive

sufficient grace to plead with Deus, as one pleading for their very life. Cry to Deus, and

plead with him to renew a steadfast spirit within you. He who prays sincerely to Deus to do

this, will prove his honesty by using the means through which Deus works. Be much in

prayer; live much upon the words I say. Because I want you to function, like I intended you

to.‖



―Victor, are you saying that once I become a child of the King, I will inherit the kingdom

forever. What if I fail again, and Deus forgets about me?‖



―A woman may choose to have an abortion, But Deus never. He may reprimand, he may

embarrass, and he may even cut you out of life in this world, but abort you, never - never!

A man by the name of Zion once said long time ago, ‗The LORD has forsaken me, the Lord

has forgotten me.‘ The Lord's loving word of rebuke should have made him blush as the

Lord answered him. ‗How could I have forgotten you, when I have engraved your name

upon the palms of my hands?‘



How dare you doubt my constant remembrance, when the memorial of your death is

carved in my very flesh? Who should be most wondered at? The faithfulness of Deus or the

unbelief of His people. I give my sheep, eternal life; and they shall never perish, neither

shall any man pluck them out of my hand. I will keep my promise a thousand times, and

yet the next trial makes you doubt me. Deus has never and will never fail you. Heaven and

earth may well be astonished that rebels should obtain this great honour. Frivolous

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children are given the heart of infinite love as to be written, upon the palms of His hands. ‗I

have engraved you.‘



See the fullness of this! I have engraved your person, your image, your case, your

circumstances, your sins, your temptations, your weaknesses, your wants, and your works.

I have engraved you, not just your name, but also everything about you, all that concerns

you - I have put you altogether there. Will you ever say again that your Deus will forget

you when He has engraved you upon His own palms? Unless you desire to experience the

truth of my death and accept it, you will never experience the resurrection of my life. Do

not receive the spirit of bondage again to fear, but the Spirit of adoption whereby you will

cry out to me, Abba, Father! Oh, the grace of these words: I will in no way cast you out. I

have taken upon myself the sting of the world, so that those who believe will not experience

death. However, those that flirt with me, even though they know me, they will never receive

my seed.‖



Then Victor opened his hands and she saw the scars of her name. She climbed out of bed and

fell on her knees. She wept at his shoes as the tears rolled from her renewed heart. At the same

time Rocky walked into the ward and stood next to Victor. When she realised someone else

was in the room, she looked up to see who it was. When she saw Rocky, she cried out again,

saying.



―Oh, Rocky please forgive me.‖



Rocky pulled her gently to his side and held her in his arms, and they both cried and held each

other. Thereafter, Victor and Rocky didn‘t have to say a word, they had touched her heart and

there was forgiveness. There was wholeness and most of all, there was healing, spiritually and

physically. Her physical healing was so evident that they left the hospital together rejoicing.









---§§§---









Yvonne departs from the hospital a completely new soul; she clings to Victor and Rocky as one

who has fallen in love with two men. As they are about to exit the lobby, a man calls out to

Victor and says.



―Please Sir, can you help us?‖



The minute Victor hears those words his heart responds.



―How can I help you sir?‖



―I‘m not to sure you will believe me.‖



There was a slight pause.





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―I am truly sorry, yet nobody believes me.‖



―You are truly sorry about what?‖



―I am gay, and I have contracted HIV, my boyfriend is dying of aids in the hospital. I have

heard that you have healed many, and there are no spiritual leaders out there that are

willing to see us. I know we are defiled and do not deserve a second chance, but come and

sit with us for five minutes, please?‖



―You and your friend are no more defiled than the common cold, sin is sin and sickness is

sickness, where is your friend, take me to him.‖



As they walked into the ward, the stench of their illness mixed with the medical smells almost

caused Yvonne to vomit. However, they were attracted to this deadly disease, through one

man‘s heart. You could see Victor was going to do something about it as he walked into the

ward. The nurse on duty stopped Victor and said.



―I‘m afraid these people are dying and beyond help.‖



Then Victor said.



―All people are dying, and all need help, but only few recognise it.‖



She then insisted by saying. ‗The doctor has seen them already‘. ‗I know,‘ said Victor, then

added.



―Doctors are trained to save life, but I am able to give life.‖



Then the nurse left them and didn‘t stand in their way. There were ten men all scarcely able to

move as they reached their final stages of death. Victor had compassion on them all and went

from bed to bed touching them. As he did, their immune system rapidly reversed the dreaded

disease and they all recovered within minutes. They were so exhilarated they ran out of the

ward. All that were left in the ward were Victor, Rocky, Yvonne and a HIV follower. No, wait

one man has returned. It was his lover, no it was Billy the one that gave them the dog. Rocky

and Yvonne hugged him, then he turned to Victor and began to cry. Then Victor said.



―Deus knows the heart of man is longing for forgiveness, but I healed ten men, I only see

one.‖



Then they left the hospital with the medical staff all upset.









---§§§---









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Victor spent a little time with Rocky and Yvonne. He told them that they were going to

undergo change and that he would have to physically leave them. However, he would supply a

spiritual helper to comfort them. Then he took Rocky and Yvonne by the hand, and said.



―Rocky you and your attractive wife.‖



He paused, and then glanced at the wonderful glow on her face. As she clung to her husband,

Victor spoke directly to their heart. Then he directed his attention to Rocky.



―I don‘t have much time left. Rocky, you are going to go through the fire and will be

tormented because of me. But you will be remembered as one, who glorified me.‖



Rocky‘s expression on his face portrayed it all, with his eyes clutched to the Master, almost as

to say.



―Why -- why are you going to allow something unpleasant to happen to us. Have we not

experienced enough pain already?‖



Then Victor said.



―Pick up your cross and don‘t look back, the Counsellor will never leave you.‖



Then Rocky remembered the words of Victor in the garden.



―Father, the time has come. Glorify your Son, so that your Son can glorify You.‖



Yvonne soon changed the topic by saying.



―Victor, why are you going to leave us. I haven‘t got to know you yet, and who is this other

chap that‘s going to replace you?‖



She said this because she was brought up in a home where conflict and pain were never carried

out reasonably. Any subject that caused the slightest amount of conflict was soon swept under

the rug. Victor, knowing her problem, said.



―Yvonne, I know your heart, and you have lots to learn. Be prepared, as the glory of your

Master is upon you. Stand by your husband and you will receive bountifully.‖



In her heart she knew what Victor meant, then Rocky said.



―Master when and where are you going so that we can visit you.‖



Victor gazed at a fairly good print of a dazzling sunset on the wall. Then he turned to Rocky

and said.



―Where I am going you cannot go, until my helper comes upon you. He will guide and show

you the way. And by the way Yvonne, his name is Colleague and he is not just another

chap. He is the Counsellor of Almighty Deus, he is one with my father.‖



―Victor, I am confused, I have never heard of this person, his name is what?‖







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Rocky said this because he had only understood that there was Deus, he could not understand

that Deus could have a Son, and now another Counsellor or Helper and they all are one God.



―Rocky, his name is Colleague and he is Deus, He has been with us from the beginning

when we created the angels and placed the stars in the sky. Yes, he helped us create the

heavens and the earth and if your wife knew him personally, she would have never called

him a chap, rather Almighty Deus.‖



Yvonne was not sure if Victor was telling them the truth or not, but no one had ever touched

her life the way he had. She could not deny the love he had towards others. She could not

understand the guts he had to bring Almighty Deus into his world. There were times when I

thought to myself. Deus will never tolerate this type of blasphemy for much longer. Then

Rocky turned to the Master and said.



―Master when will he come, and how will we recognize him?‖



Victor replied by saying.



―Very soon I will be taken away from you on a cloud of angelic beings to glorify my Father

in heaven forever. I will return one day soon, however by that time, men would have

glorified themselves, instead of glorifying me. By then money would stop changing hands.

Yes, a cash-less society would have been formulated. The minority will control the majority

and prevent them from their true worship. Many will reject me in those days to serve other

gods that are only suitable for their needs. I will then return and collect those who glorify

me. Only those who have been born into Deus‘s Holy Colleague will be caught up by the

angels.‖



Rocky said.



―Master, please forgive me, but you don‘t always make sense, what do you mean?‖



Victor had a smile on his face, as he replied.



―Rocky, I am glad I don‘t always make sense, you see what my Father had planned would

take childlike faith, and not so much common sense. Now listen to me, faith comes by

obeying what I command. On the other hand common sense works out its own salvation

that finally ends in death. Now if you add a childlike faith and historical facts you will get a

godly sense of grace.‖



With a frown on her face, Yvonne turned to Victor.



―Master this person called ‗The Colleague,‘ how can he live inside another person?‖



―Dear Yvonne, what is born of flesh is flesh, but the Holy Colleague wants to give birth to

your Spirit which in turn connects you to Deus. Now Deus is both Father, Son and

Colleague and his greatest desire is to live in a Deus created body, which I will entitle the

body of believers. Remember this, any person can become a temple of the Living Deus. Or

they remain empty, or even welcome the temple of doom. The choice is for mankind, and

theirs only.‖



Rocky became excited at the thought that they are able to talk to Victor as a couple and so he

continued.

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―How will we know we are born into the Holy Colleague?‖



―At last, I am glad the two of you are beginning to think about the things in life that

matter. When the Holy Colleague comes upon you, you will beam as if you had a light bulb

inside you. Everything around you will become like new; you will sense a new complete

person within you. Let me warn you though, you will still be trapped in the flesh, till the

day you receive another body. Because you will be facing this old nature, you will still

desire it from time to time. Because of this weakness, your greatest enemy will want to

tempt you. On the contrary, if you resist him, he will flee from you. For this reason the

Holy Colleague who will live in you, is greater than he, the devil who is against you.‖



Then Rocky turned to Victor and said.



―Lord, how can I serve you better, if I have to constantly fight the devil?‖



―Rocky, how does an average cook become the best gourmet chef in the nation?‖



―He spends his time in the kitchen.‖



―Spend your time wisely, because I tell you the truth, the devil hasn‘t got the stomach for

good food.‖



Victor paused awhile and said.



―Listen to the words of wisdom?



Do not believe that every thought comes from Deus.

Do not believe that you are worshipping musicians at every concert.

Do not believe every bit of magic comes from elusion.

Do not believe Deus will heal every sickness, unless you know beyond a shadow of doubt.

Do not believe all miracles come from Deus.

Do not believe that perpetual hell or everlasting paradise does not exist.

Do not believe your leaders and teachers are at all times correct, before you have tested them.

Do not believe all gifts are from Deus, unless the Holy Colleague of Deus confirms it.

Do not believe every sign and wonder is man produced.

Do not believe a ―Holy man‖ is Holy, for all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of Deus.

Do not believe that men or women are your enemies, for your real enemy uses you to oppose

Deus.

Do not believe your life will end without a courtroom.

Do not believe you have the power to increase your life.

Do not believe you can buy or earn your salvation.

Do not believe that the devil has supremacy over your soul, even if you are sold out to him.

Do not believe it is impossible to change.

Do not believe in any kind of doctrine for they love to spend their time just outside Deus‘s

kingdom.‖



Then the Master turned to the cloakroom, and just disappeared into thin air, leaving them to

think about what he had said. After a number of days of getting to know one another again

they returned home.







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The heart of the Caterpillar







---§§§---









A few days later Rocky and little John planned to have a big traditional South African bring

and braai. This was going to take place on the West Coast. They spent some time in prayer.

They asked Deus to open their eyes and to show them how they can get their families, to

understand them, and hopefully to accept them the way they are. Matthew, one of the pupils

was so torn over his unbelieving family that he cried out in a loud voice.



―Oh Deus, please have mercy on my family, please help them to understand. I am but only

a man that wants to change my way of living. Please help them to recognize the danger of

their ways. Oh Master, we love our families, we just wish that they could be one with us.

That they can come to know you and that they can come to understand the benefits they

would have, if your Holy Colleague touched them. How they would be conformed into

your image, how their minds would be transformed by your love and how much more we

will be as a family. Oh Master have mercy.‖



When they had finished praying. Victor stood in there midst, and said.



―Peace be with you, I bring you good news, and the Holy Colleague is preparing the hearts

for the kingdom of heaven. Brothers and sisters, I have no hands but your hands, I have no

feet but your feet. I have my Fathers word, but you have the vehicle to transport it. My

pen rests on you, protect it, and it will protect you. There is no other plan of salvation,

other than the one who became a serpent on the cross for the souls of mankind. If you fail

me, you will fail the world of a hope and of a future. Yet I tell you the truth, if you were to

fail me, even the rocks and the trees would speak for me. I know that the enemy will try

and see faults in you, but take heart, my Colleague will protect and guide you. And

remember this, because my Colleague lives in you - you will have power over all darkness.

Rocky, stand by your wife, there are tens of thousands, even more that will hear your

voice. So speak the truth and trust my word, for it is the only thing that will satisfy the

soul. Allow the Holy Colleague to burn the good news in your heart, that the world might

know salvation.‖



Then Rocky said.



―Master, we are planning a traditional boererwors weekend, with a game of touch rugby.

Will you be there?‖



With a smile on his face he said.



―You bet, anything to tackle you, Rocky.‖



―Master, anytime, anywhere, anyhow as long as you play according to our earthly rules.‖



Rocky was a very happy man and couldn‘t wait to get home and share his joy with Yvonne.

Rocky and little John walked home together, sharing their joy they could not understand. One



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The heart of the Caterpillar

thing I could not understand. They knew that Victor was going to leave them. Yet there was

such joy in their lives. While Rocky plans everyone‘s lives, Yvonne spends her days praying

that her results are negative. Whenever the phone rings, her anxiousness becomes very

evident, as Rocky is once more kept in the dark.



The end of the week came and many people responded because they heard that Victor would

be there. There were approximately five hundred men, with their families. It was quite a

display, fortunately the picnic spot we chose could facilitate the crowd. The weather was

perfect, there was not a cloud in the sky, there was a puny breeze, just enough to inhale the

vault of heaven. Everyone enjoyed the idea of a braai. With their breathtaking suntanned

bodies and bright coloured bathing costumes, they looked stunning against the shade of the

white surf and the big blue sea. Man you should have seen Mark‘s wife, (one of Victor‘s

pupils), now she was attractive.



Only Deus knows why he created women so beautiful. When she walked alone on the silky

sands, the heads of men would turn as if there was some mechanical device locked in the back

of their necks. I even became envious as her long dark silky hair shifting gently, as her slender

body moved gracefully through the salty air. And Yvonne was also looking radiant as ever, she

was more beautiful on that day than on any, I had ever seen. Her body shone with glory and

yet only a few knew the dark cloud that once upon a time hung on her past. Nevertheless, all is

forgotten and forgiven; she was more attractive than ever. Her blond silky hair and those big

green eyes just glittered from within her. She did not know that Dr. Luke was standing behind

her, and as he placed his hand on her shoulder she jumped with a fright.



―I do not mean to harm you my dear, I have come to bring you the news you have waiting

for?‖



―News!‖



―What would you like to hear first, good news or bad news?‖



Good news - bad news, those words are not very good memories. Nevertheless, she had to find

out for herself first. She buried her head behind her hand thinking the worst.



―How would Rocky understand if he finds out I am HIV positive?‖



After these thoughts became a reality, a tear slipped through her finger tips unnoticed, but she

controlled her emotions well enough to pull it through.



―You better give me the bad news first?‖



―The bad news is, you owe me a dinner so we can celebrate your good news.‖



―What‘s the good news?‖



―You are what you have been longing for years?‖



―I am what?‖



―You are pregnant, Yvonne.‖



―What!‖

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The heart of the Caterpillar



―You are with child.‖



―Oh my God, no - no - no!!‖



―Is every thing all right, I thought you wanted children, I thought you would be happy at

the news?‖



―I would have been happy, had I been impregnated by my husband.‖



―Come let us go for a walk where we can be private.‖



As they walked along the open beach, Lukie turns to Yvonne and says.



―Vonney what are you trying to tell me. Now that you are back with the man you love, you

don‘t want his children?‖



Yvonne bursts into tears as she falls to the ground with her head buried in her hands and her

elbows buried in the sand.



―The last person - sob - to touch me, - sob - sniff - raped me and Rocky does not even

know.‖



―Oh no, I am so terribly sorry.‖



―He called it, the price of sin -- the payment for forgiveness. Oh Deus when does it end.

What will my husband do now, when he finds out I haven‘t been truthful to him.‖



―Have you told somebody about this pain?‖



―No.‖



―Why didn‘t you tell somebody?‖



―I don‘t know - sob - I guess I‘m scared, people will reject me.‖



―This is none of my business, but as your doctor and your friend why haven‘t the two of

you had sex since then?‖



―You are right it is none of your business - sob, sorry Lukie. Since having being raped, I

just cannot lay with Rocky.‖



―You are going to have to tell him sometime, this is not something you can hide forever.

I‘m sure if you explain the situation, he will understand.‖



Dr. Luke gently lifts Yvonne up to her feet and wipes her tears tenderly with his hand,

protecting her eyes from the sand.



―Let us go back to the party before there is a search party for us.‖



On the way back she drags her feet through the sand, with her head down thinking about

having an abortion, but the more she thinks about it, the more she is reminded of the words of

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The heart of the Caterpillar

Victor. Through forgiveness Deus can use a bad situation for a glorious ending. She tells

herself to be strong and to have faith, she reminds herself that faith can move mountains, that

Deus will remove the fetes in due time. With that in mind she is able to cope with the rest of the

day.









---§§§---









The men brought meat, the ladies, salads and the children; well, they helped carry all the odds

and ends from the vehicles. It wasn‘t long and Rocky roped in a number of men to start the

fires. The children ran to cool off in the sea, and who could blame them. After all they were

tired of carting goodies from the parking lot. As the day progressed, the guys played their

game of rugby and some played volleyball. After a drinks break, most of the folk went to

Victor. They were eager to listen to him as he stood under a tarpaulin tent. He spoke mostly

about the last days, and this is what he had to say.



―There are three rules, guilt, fear and anger. One - do not become guilty about what

happened yesterday, two - do not become fearful of tomorrow, and three do not become

angry about what you did or are about to do. Now, mow your lawn before the snakes start

tapping on your door.‖



―What do you mean Master?‖ Someone shouted.



―Get your house in order, do not be fooled by any so-called prophets. There is only one

way to my father, who is in paradise.‖



He paused for a while, and then added.



―I am the only Way, I am the only Truth and I am the only Life. No one will be able to

present themselves to the only true Deus and live - without my grace, and of cause the help

of the Holy Colleague.‖



I don‘t think they understood the full impact of how that statement would effect the

performance of other types of beliefs. So Victor turned to the right, paced a few paces and then

returned to his position again.



―Pay attention to what I am telling you, I AM THE ONLY PROTOCOL THIS WORLD

WILL EVER SEE, the standard I set is the only requirement my Father will accept and

the only way to get it, is by accepting the one person of the Holy Colleague into your life.

This is done by faith, regardless of what I just said - guilt, fear and anger are the

stumbling blocks to obtaining faith.‖



As Victor uttered those words, the air around them became silent. All I could think of was

what happened about three years ago. Picture the scene as it really happened.





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The heart of the Caterpillar

People were going about their spiritual lives as if they could make their own way into the

kingdom of Deus. Victor, a young man by far stood up in the temple to make a statement then

that nearly cost him his life. He picked up a history book written by Isaiah and then reads

these words.



―The Colleague of the Master Deus is upon me, because the Master has anointed me the

Anointed One, The Messiah, to preach the good news to the meek, the poor, and afflicted.

He has sent me to announce release to the captives and recovery of sight to the blind. To

send fourth as delivered those who are oppressed, downtrodden, bruised, crushed and

broken hearted. He has sent me to proclaim liberty to the physically, psychologically,

spiritually, socially and financially captives and open the eyes of darkness to those who are

in prison. To proclaim the acceptable year of His grace, when salvation becomes part of

life for everyone who believes.‖



Let me tell you everyone had their eyes peeled on these words, yet no one said a word or moved

a fraction. Then he made the next statement and all hell broke loose. This is what he said.



―Today in your hearing, these words that I have just declared, have been fulfilled through

me.‖



WOW -- WOW, what a statement, at first I thought these people are dealing with a mad man.

They must have thought so too, as they dragged him out of their holy temple to beat him up.

He managed to move through the crowd and leave his hometown the very same day. The

question I asked myself now, is.



―How can he be a mad man, I have come to know him, and he does not appear to be even

slightly touched? If however he is lying to the people, what would he possibly gain from it.

No, no one in his or her right mind will think of something so lubricous. After having been

executed, why would he cock-up such a story?‖



The crowds must have understood that because instead of booing or trying to beat him up for

blasphemy, they decided to listen, then little John stood up and asked a question.



―Master, how would we know, and how would we distinguish false prophets from the true

ones?‖



Victor turned to little John to answer him; he paused for a short moment in time. He then

rubbed his brow slightly and turned to the crowd, saying.



―If you have hardened your heart to the point of no return, when even the Holy Colleague

of Deus becomes unwelcome in your life, you will never know the difference. However, if

you are open to the Holy Colleague, and allow him to convict and convert you to Deus, he

will accept you just the way you are. Then you will walk in the light, as I am in the light.

As to whom the false prophets are? They will always address you as one meek and mild,

and with great intellect. However, I tell you the truth, if you scratch the surface, you will

soon discover the true prophet. The so-called prophets want to rewrite the word of life,

although they do not tear at the skin. A wolf in sheep's clothing, it worries the flock more

than the lion outside. They are more vicious and more evil than the Hitler‘s of the world.

Yes, Hitler may have been the instrument of greater salvation in his day, than the wolf that

enters your space.‖







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There were a number of folk who were afraid to ask questions, as they mumbled to one

another, saying things like.



―Who is the Holy Colleague and how can he be Deus?‖



Victor ignored the muffled sounds from the crowd and directed his attention to little John.



―Tell me little John - Isaiah, is he a true prophet or a false prophet.‖



Little John was careful to answer, yet boldly replied.



―I believe he was a true prophet.‖



Then Victor said.



―How do you know he is a true prophet?‖



Little John holding a twig in his left hand started to scratch the side of his cheek, replied in this

way.



―Well, Master I believe he spoke to the heart of men on the matter of their evil ways. Then

there is the matter of his prophecies that came true. Then there was the way he wrote, only

a loving and just Deus would speak in terms that would glorify himself.‖



There was something that Victor said, that just made me wonder, why did this Godly prophet

Isaiah pen these words in the first place. Victor picked up the leather bound history book and

began to read in a clear voice. Allowing the words to just roll off his tongue, he said.



―Some years ago, this is what Isaiah wrote.‖



He adjusted himself and started to read.



―The Master would give you a sign: The virgin will be with a child and will give birth to a

son, and he will be called Emmanuel – which, when translated, means; ‗With us is Deus‘.

He also prophesied that this child would be given titles: The government will be on his

shoulders. And he will be called Wonderful Counsellor, Mighty Deus, Everlasting Father,

Prince of Peace. He also said; ‗He would be pierced for the transgression of others,

crushed for their iniquities, and the punishment that will bring everlasting peace will be on

him, and by his wounds, there will be healing. He would die and be assigned a grave with

the rich in his death, though he had done no violence, nor was there any deceit found in his

mouth.‘‖



Victor paused for a while and allowed the crowd to soak in what he had said. I could see where

he was coming from, and so did the crowd. We all felt a lump of guilt and a tear of remorse,

yet as he continued to speak, he gently showed us the way. If only you were here. What he was

about to say, left a deep impression in my life. While Victor had everyone‘s attention, this is

what he said.



―Now if a prophet came to you, to preach to you, saying. This ‗Victor Crosswell‘, yes I‘m

talking about me. If they say that I am a second god, or that I am an angel, or that I was

only a prophet, or I was only a good man, or even worse, that I originally came from an

ape. If anyone tells you that I did not die or was not raised to life. If any predict the date of

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my coming back or that everyone is a God and therefore do not need repentance. Beware

of those who convince you of powers cut in stone. Watch out for those who mingle the

truth with a lie. They are deadly, they are extremely poisonous, and they are false prophets

- no matter where they get their information. Know this, a man is not justified by

observing the law, but by faith in me. So you, put your faith in me that you may be

justified by faith in me and not by observing the law, because by observing the law no one

will be justified.‖



After he got them to understand that he is the only way into his father‘s kingdom, he said.



―Would you like to know the secret of entering this kingdom?‖



―Yes‖, came their reply.



―Can you remember our great-grandfather - Moses, who through my power released your

ancestors out of bondage?‖



―Yes‖, with excitement they replied.



―We all remember that final plague, where the eldest son was either saved or killed. The

spirit of death passed by the blood on the doorpost, and so too will he pass by my blood

printed on your soul. Take note, the Spirit did not enter the homes of the people and judge

them of their many sins, nor did he enter the gentile‘s home and praise him for his good

work. This will be the first judgment throughout the world. Mankind will be either in or

out depending on my blood stained on their lives. However, strengthen my disciples and

encourage them to remain true to me. Because they are paving the way, they must go

through many hardships before entering my father‘s kingdom.‖



For the first time I could see how the light began to shine in a man‘s heart. They knew that

Victor had told them a truth they had never thought about before. I could see one woman

smiling as the truth set her free. I could see another crying as he realises the price that has

been paid for his sin. Then Victor said.



―Listen to me, unless you receive my sperm and become a reborn child you can never enter

my kingdom.‖



Why does Victor say these things? The moment he has every possible attention he comes up

with something as stupid as this. I don‘t get it and it is clear no one else got it to. Then one of

the men got up and said.



―If you think we must have sex with you to enter your kingdom, think again!‖



―Sit down young man, you have a carnal mind and as a result you can only think

carnally.‖



Then Victor calmed the people down before another could get up, he said.



―Imagine you saw the most beautiful woman that you liked and you wanted her.‖



Now at least he got the attention of the men.







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―There she is, when she opens her eyes she almost swallows you whole. When you find

yourself dribbling her soft fingers are there to clean your chin. When your knees give in

she places a chair for you. Your mind can not think of food, drink, sleep or any other

pleasure you can dream of, because her breasts are more exciting. She stands before you

like honey and all you can think of is the sweat dripping from your palms. You want her

more than anything in the whole world. How can I get her you may ask? You may be

thinking wow, she is so beautiful and I am so ugly.‖



Then a few giggles come from the back. Victor continues.



―This stunning woman smiles at you, then undresses before you revealing her nakedness.

She offers you the hand of marriage and tells you how much she loves you and how much

she wants you to have her children. What do you do?‖



Funny, all of a sudden the men were not as turned on as they were a few seconds ago. It was so

clear by their thinking they were no longer as attracted to her as before. Now there was some

who understood what Victor meant, then Victor resumed with his parable.



―Now there are some of you that will be turned off by her and others that will flirt with

this woman and others like her, because they seem to be easy. However, I tell you the

truth, unless you have her children you will never truly know her and enjoy her. Now let

me get intimate with you. You have seen me naked, now all I want from you is a new birth.

I will love you more than you would ever know.‖



It was soon after Victor had said that, that Rocky shouted from about a hundred metres away.



―Is anybody out their hungry?‖



Someone shouted.



―I‘m ravenous!‖



The crowd gave in and agreed, as the little ones pulled their parents. As if to say, make it

snappy folks. The sun fell directly over them and it was hot. Rocky soon controlled the crowd,

and got them to settle down. He then asked Victor to give thanks for the food, as this was their

custom. Victor stepped forward, turned to the crowd and said.



―Do not leave Cape Town my friends, be patient and wait for the gift my Father

promised.‖



By this he meant the Holy Colleague, then he picked up a roll from the table and broke it,

saying.



―Remember this - this is my body which is broken for you.‖



Then he took a bottle of red wine, poured it out on the ground and said.



―Remember my blood that flowed out of my body. This blood will save every person who

would follow me. Now every time you eat and drink these elements, remember the day of

your deliverance.‖







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Then an amazing thing happened. What looked like a cloud came down and swept Victor into

a perfect blue sky. Everyone gasped at what looked like an awesome sight, and all I could see

was the funny side. Here was a hungry bunch of wide-open mouths, staring into the pale blue

sky. All I needed to do was see the food, like feeding time for baby birds. This was confusing,

yet a serious moment for every one of us. On a nearby hill came a bright light, and this

directed our attention. It appeared like nothing we had ever seen before; it was the shape of

two men in dazzling white. They were as bright as an illuminated bulb, which shone within

them. The two men came closer, yet no one dared move. There was so much mystery, yet no

one was in fear. Almost an eerie feeling mingled with a warm sense of peace, which controlled

the day. The two angels addressed the crowd and said.



―Why are you looking into the sky? This same Victor, who has been taken from you, has

gone to heaven. Remember this, in the same way that he was taken, he will return.‖



The angels disappeared as quickly as they had appeared. All stood amazed and perplexed. I

could see Rocky needed to take some action. Then he and a few others started to sing. Slowly

but surely everyone joined in.



―Great is Thy faithfulness, Great is Thy faithfulness. Morning by morning new mercies I

see. All I have needed, Thy hand has provided. Great is Thy faithfulness, Lord unto me.‖



Everyone worshipped Victor, singing.



―Praise him, Praise him, he is the King and Redeemer, Praise him, Praise him, Victor is

Master and King.‖



With great joy in their hearts, they spent the day praising and glorifying Deus. Together they

worshipped him, and in the weeks that followed. They would come together, and continue to

worship the Deus they had come to know.





---§§§---









The news of what happened spread fast and wide, throughout the world. No one could control

it, it went via the network, and the news media. The Internet and the television had live

broadcasts on the subject. Some of the news was quite distorted. However the message that

came across had demanded lots of attention, to say the least. There was a popular religion at

the time that gave people hope in themselves. Now unfortunately for them, Victor and his

pupils had threatened their form of worship. More and more started to understand the

teachings of Victor, and started to follow his way of thinking. This only made the religious

leaders angrier. Their flock started parting and following the ‗Victor people‘. So their former

friends were mocking them and they were nick named, ―Victorians‖.



The reason why they nicknamed them Victorians, is that one corporate television station

stated.



―Victor Crosswell had lived inside the people that followed him‖.



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Early in the morning while Rocky and his comrades were still in prayer, Yvonne cleaned the

home rather quickly and left a note to say that she will be out for the day. She certainly needed

time alone, to reflect the crisis she was in, to grasp the truth of her pregnancy and to react to

the fact that Rocky needed to know what awaits them. She took a long walk along the

coastline, hoping to find the answer to this mess.



―If only I can see a clear answer to this mess.‖



She began reasoning with herself. Whilst walking she noticed a caravan with very large

wording on a banner. It read



―PALM READER‖.



In smaller script under the ―palm reader‖ it said, ―the future‘s in your hands‖. Yvonne

stopped in her tracks and pondered about her future.



―What is my husband going to do when he finds out? What‘s going to happen to me, if I

have this child? What kind of child is this going to be? What kind of relationship will I

have with this child? Do I actually want this child? I wander if that Palm reader has the

answer I need?‖



The thought of the unknown was frightening, nonetheless, the desire to know what was going

to happen to her was even stronger. She had never done this kind of thing in the past, and was

vaguely told that it was innocent and harmless. Her desire to know was so strong, she just had

to know for herself. She decided to take a portion of the money she made for exposing herself

in Hillbrow and use it to get to know her future.



―My future is more important than my present circumstances.‖



As she tried to make sense of it. Rocky, doesn‘t know that she has some money staked away. If

he did, he would want to know how she got it.



―Besides it‘s my money and what harm can a Palm Reader do to me anyway?‖



With these thoughts in her mind, she approached the caravan with a lot more boldness. The

gipsy, a middle aged woman came across sweet and very understanding as Yvonne shared with

her, her deepest secret. Yvonne waited in anticipation as the gentlewoman held her hard

working hands and stroked her palms. For a moment Yvonne felt uncomfortable, but then a

warm sensation came over her as the gipsy shared her story.



―I see your husband is a fisherman. I can see how much you love him. I see you have had a

hard life, since he lost his job. I see another man who wants to destroy your marriage.

Your husband loves him and follows him everywhere and this has resulted much pain. Oh,

no, I am so sorry, I see you have been raped.‖



The tears ran down Yvonne‘s face as she stares at her hands, saying.



―How did you do that, how do you know the truth about my life? How do you know about

my husband and Victor?‖



―Your palms have the truth and never tell a lie.‖

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―Will you tell me what is going to happen to my future?‖



―That‘s what you pay me for, my love. Now let me have a look.‖



―I see two....‖



Then the Gipsy became quite.



―What is it? What do you see?‖ Said Yvonne.



―I see two choices in your life.‖



―Yes, and....‖



―Do you see these two lines?‖ Pointing to her palm.



―Yes, so...‖



―These two lines tell two stories, but I‘m afraid to tell you that these stories have a sad

ending. Each story has a choice, however your choice will determine your happiness.



―What are my choices, what do you see?‖



―I see your choices are, one - either you are going to have an abortion or, two the child is

going to become...‖



There was a deadly silence. Then Yvonne quickly interrupted said.



―What is it?‖



―I see a son, an evil son, one who is going to rule the earth with harshness and power. At

first he will be well accepted in the ruling party. Then he will show signs that will change

the face of the earth. Then he will destroy your husband and you will flee for your life.

Then he will hunt you down and kill you publicly.‖



―No, I will never let it happen!‖



―The choice is yours, may the gods be with you.‖



Very upset, Yvonne got up and walked out saying.



―I‘m going to have an abortion, I will not allow this to happen.‖



―Before you go, there is an abortion clinic in Cape Town. Maybe you should go and see

Sister Gail at Marie Stopes Clinic, 3rd Floor, Medical Centre, Foreshore.‖



―That‘s it, I‘m on my way to Cape Town.‖



Yvonne left the caravan, with a determined look on her face.







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―I allowed Victor Crosswell to take charge of my life, but I will not allow a child to rule

our lives, especially another man‘s child‖.



With this thought she walked briskly from Green Point to Cape Town without considering or

seeking advice from Dr. Luke.



When she arrived at the centre she was given a form to fill in. After Yvonne filled in the form,

she sat in the waiting room, with about five others. She didn‘t allow the emotions of the others

to disturb her thoughts. She just kept her focus on the wall, thinking to herself, she‘s carrying

the next Hitler in her womb. The Sister finally called her in. With anger written on her face

she was determined to go through this whole ordeal. The Sister was a very pleasant woman.

She was very professional and quick to set a paradigm shift of calmness amongst her patients.

Yvonne studied her face as she went about looking through her file. After a moment of silence

the Sister asked Yvonne if she would be able to share the rape incident with her.



―I‘m really sorry Sister, but I don‘t want to go backwards in life, I want to go forward.‖



―I hear your heart Yvonne, I truly do, but to go forward in life we need to reflect the past.

It needs to be seen, it needs to be channeled positively, and it needs to be overpowered.

Allow yourself a moment to think of the positive or the negative reasons why you want this

abortion, but remember this, if you don‘t conquer your past, it will haunt you forever.‖



There was a long moment of silence, and then the Sister asked Yvonne another question.



―Who recommended you to us?‖



―A fortune Teller.‖



―The Fortune Teller from Sea Point?‖



―Yes.‖



―And she told you about the future of the child, and about how evil he will become and

how he will destroy your lives.‖



―Yes, how do you know?‖



―I‘m sorry Yvonne, she has told many of my patients the same story. This woman is a

witch, and her dark side is to destroy the gift of life.‖



―How different is she from you? Is this not an abortion clinic?‖



―Yes, it is an abortion clinic and I have been put in charge of this clinic, and as far as I‘m

concerned it is first a peoples clinic. I don‘t get paid to butcher, I get paid to help people

become mentally and psychologically self-reliant and gain their self respect once again.‖



Then she remembered the words of Victor, while Deus communicates to her heart for the first

time through her mind.



―I came to give you life in its fullness. I paid the price with myself to help you, Yvonne to

be physically, spiritually, mentally, psychologically, socially and financially independent.

Trust my word and you will grow in faith.‖

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Then Yvonne turned to the Sister and asked her.



―Are you Sister Gail?‖



―No, I am Sister Ruth, Sister Gail has been instituted for theft.‖



―Instituted - theft?‖



―Yes, she used to steal the fetus and decorate her home with dead babies.‖



―That‘s sick.‖



―You can say that again.‖



―I am going home to tell my husband the truth.‖









---§§§---









By this time Yvonne started to show signs of her pregnancy and it was now time for Rocky to

know the truth. So that evening after many hours of prayer and reorganisation of their

leadership, Rocky came home exhausted. Yvonne had prepared his meal as usual. Rocky

finished his meal and stretched back leaning against his chair.



―Thanks honey, just what the doctor ordered.‖



―Rocky, I‘m pregnant.‖



―You‘re what!‖



―I‘m Sorry.‖



She did not allow Rocky to sleep with her, since before she left him. He knew something was

wrong but he didn‘t envisage her being pregnant by another man.



―You what! Please Yvonne, you better go back to your mother. I never want to see you

again.‖



―Please Rocky, listen to me.‖









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―Forget it Yvonne I will go out. When I return make sure you have taken all your stuff

and never come back again! I never want to see you again, never, never. You are, and

always will be a curse to me.‖



Rocky walks out and slams the door behind him. Yvonne still stunned by his reaction just sat

at the table and wept. Having lost her dignity by her past actions, she knew that this was the

end of their relationship. She got herself together, packed her belongings and left home for the

second time. And for the first time she realised, she should never have moved out in the

beginning. While their marriage sits on rocky ground, the angry teachers of the law become so

evident that the various religious organisations got together. An abnormal sight, yet they

needed to root out this new religion. Which at this time was growing fast and furiously. They

appointed one of the strongest and vilest of all the leaders and called him.



―The Pure Hope‘, nevertheless most called him, ‗the White Hope of the world.‖



The White Hope appointed a general, for the province of Pretoria, and named him Saul. A

learned man in all forms of religion, yet a harsh man to deal with. He indeed was the right man

for the job, because he would kill even his own family, if they double-crossed him. He was to

fly to Cape Town and address this matter with urgency. The leaders and attorneys met in

Pretoria high court to discuss this matter. And Saul stated.



―The only way to stop this mess is to immediately persecute all Victorians, and if

necessarily put them to death.‖



Then one of the advocates said.



―Brother Saul, it would be an impossibility, they are growing by the thousands.‖



Then Saul turned to the learned man and said.



―There is no such thing as impossible. Anyone who did not have a license to preach, or

counsel anyone concerning Victor, other than the school‘s curriculum set out for them by

the state, would have to be brought in for questioning.‖



―And then Saul, what then.‖ Asked the advocate.



―And then young man, many would loose their families, or even their jobs and some would

even loose their lives, if they do not relent from this bizarre behaviour.‖



Another wise Attorney who was well in years, raised his hand and stood up to address the

White Hope, and said.



―Your lordship, gentlemen of the counsel, let us be wise and learn from history. If this

Victor is a fraud his message will die, just give it time and his name will be blotted out

forever.‖



The White Hope tore his clothing and shouted in a loud voice.



―Who gave man permission to replace Deus? I will not hear anymore, destroy this

Victorian faith now!‖







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There was silence in the courtroom where they gathered, so Saul motioned everyone to leave

the room. As they did, they realized the awesome task that lay ahead of them. One of the older

advocates said to his partner.



―I might have to resign, as there are too many brothers from our temple who have decided

to follow this strange belief. They say that Victor is the Messiah. Multitudes of them have

started their own group known as.



―The Victory people‖.



It would be very difficult to start a new career. On the other hand, to be part of an

organisation that kills our own, this is barbaric. Evil or not, I will have nothing to do with

it.‖



Fear mingled with truth became part of the day. Many believers returned in fear of their lives.

Yet I‘m afraid to say this, but the majority left their Temples, as they could not comprehend

the harshness of it all.



Rocky went back to fishing and after an extremely generous fishing trip he received a few days

shore leave. Little John and Dr. Luke had been praying for Rocky and for Yvonne to make

restitution as they wished them to address the general meeting for the coming Sunday, and be

a true example of forgiveness. Dr. Luke was quite annoyed at Rocky‘s behaviour. Although he

understood the surroundings of their marriage, at least he should have listened to Yvonne. So

he phoned Rocky, and said.



―Rocky, can I come over. I need to see you about an important matter.‖



―Of course you can, I will be waiting for you.‖









---§§§---









Dr. Luke met with Rocky and they went to Sea Point for coffee. It is a cozy little coffee shop

that attributes itself to the French. With sketches of Paris on the wall and the sweet aroma of

partly cigar and a rather strong coffee smell. They sat down and ordered their coffee, and then

Rocky who doesn‘t like wasting time said.



―So Dr. Luke, to what do I owe this pleasure?‖



Dr. Luke took his time to respond. Maybe he was waiting for the coffee to arrive. Then Rocky,

jumped in again.



―Lukie did the cat cut your tongue, what‘s so urgent that you need to get off your chest.‖







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―Yvonne was raped by a band of men, that‘s why she‘s pregnant. She can‘t be intimate

with you, till she can deal with this crisis.‖



Rocky held his head in his hands. The tears began to roll off his cheeks and the hanky that was

used so many times to drain those tears was once again in use. Rocky cried in his hanky as the

onlookers stared. He kept his head in his hanky while his heart rolled out the tears. What he

didn‘t realise was, he was set up. Little John walked into the coffee shop at this point, with

Yvonne. She didn‘t know the set-up either, and then Rocky said, with his head hung low.



―Oh no, my God what did I do wrong. Sniff... Why didn‘t I listen to her! Sniff... Why am I

such a moron, I destroyed the one I love!‖



Yvonne started to cry as well. When Rocky heard her, he stood up and held her in his arms

and wept, saying.



―I am sorry, honey, I‘m truly sorry.‖



They were so happy to see each other that the people in the coffee shop, began to applaud. As

for Dr. Luke and little John, they left the coffee shop with a feeling of accomplishment.



Rocky and Yvonne were very happy to see each other again. They too left the coffee shop for a

walk. Like two lovebirds they walked along the promenade, watching the surfers and seagulls

dodge the wind and the waves. They dropped by the Ice-cream bar, and bought some cones,

which they enjoyed on a nearby bench. Not much was said, in fear of hurting each other‘s

feelings. But Yvonne needed to talk, so she said.



―Rocky I wrote you a letter with a poem that I heard, but I was too afraid to post it,

because I thought it might not reach you. Do you mind if I read it to you?‖



―I would love to hear it.‖



She scrambled to see if she could find the letter in her jacked pocket without managing to roll

ice cream over herself. She managed to open the letter with her right hand, with a bit of help

from her left leg.



―Here we go, Rocky don‘t interrupt me, till I am finished.‖



―OK, I won‘t.‖



―To my darling Rocky, who is far out to sea? I am the river mouth of love that is far from

the deep, deep blue. All my love flows into the sea, yet the sea is never full. Where the

fullness of passion began, and by grace the circle of life returns. To the place the streams

come from, there they return again. I am the entrance to sweetness, the shoreline of

elegance. You, my lover are my glittering shield, the mighty ocean of passion. You gently

caress me, my smooth outlined white body, backwards and forward we go.



Your foamy white hands stroking my silky skin, drawing me nearer to your soul, yet

teasingly pushing me away. There are days when you are warm, and there are days when

you show your icy waves of anger, by pounding my body. You are a great receiver, but a

dangerous distributor. You do it openly in sight of the neighbours; you do not stop, even

though you hear their plea. You have crushed me. But now, why do you stir up the wind

that carelessly and painstakingly twists my bruised and battered body. Why do you repay

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me with dirty oil, when all I have ever done was supply you with crystal fresh water? Your

tides move the sea, your winds stir the stuffy ocean, and your friction shapes my life. You

thrash me without thinking or caring.



Deep calls out to deep, at the roar of rushing bubbles; all your waves and your breakers

have swept over me persistently. No one can stop you, not even my cry, or my pleading will

hold back your anger. What I bring to you, you return to the earth in the form of clouds

and rain. I sense a fear in your anger. I sense a pain in your wrath. When your anger is out

of control, even the gods in the sky display sounds of anguish and flashes of war. There are

times when I feel my love for you is over, my body is out of shape and my breasts feel like

hardened silicon. My once shapely shoreline has become a refuge camping ground for

tramps, and even they have desired me. Now that I have an heir that sustains life, of no

will of my own. Who would ever care, and who would ever know the pain that sin

produces.



When your anger subsides and you are finely subdued, only then do you realise - the

extent of the damage that has been done. You quietly yet calmly return, vary often

ashamed of the debris, and crushed shells along my body. With a tide you return, without

my knowing you sweep me off my feet again, and restore my beauty and my confidence in

me. And by your passion you contain all of me. The moonlight glitters above your

romantic arms, which gently caresses me again. And there is not a boulder, nor a rock that

can separate our love. I will feel you rubbing my body gently with your natural ointment.

Once more I will feel like the lady of leisure, who wants to give you all my pleasure.‖



Rocky did not say a thing; he just hugged her and cried. They looked like a honeymoon couple,

as they continued their way down the Sea Point promenade. You can see Rocky was fascinated

by the poem, they stopped at a nearby railing, overlooking the sea. Their eyes met and their

warmth glowed, as they hugged each other. The power of the air moved a corner of Rocky‘s

silver grey appearing through his dark hair. But most of all she admired him for his gentle

strength. As they continued to walk along the shores, he said to her.



―While I was on the sea I wrote a little poem of my own, do you want to hear it?‖



―Of course Rocky, spill it out.‖



―But, Honey you might become upset with me.‖



―I will not!‖



―You promise.‖



―I promise.‖



Rocky stared into her eyes as the wind blew gently across her face, then he nodded, and said

OK.



―Men may see my outer skin,

But Deus sees within.

He is using you,

To chip away my sin.

As He brings me to my knees,

My heart is filled with heavy tears.

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When I see His Loving hand,

I‘m reminded of our turmoil land.

Man is searching everywhere,

O Master, please make a plan.

To show my neighbours everywhere,

Your tender loving hand.

May Your blessing fall,

on every living wall.

And may we all invite You in.

Thank you for giving me life above,

You are the one I dearly love.‖



She did not say a word as they continued to walk along the promenade, they walked for a while

and she wanted to make a comment instead she said.



―Rocky, I want to keep this child. If Deus can love me for all the things I have done wrong.

I can love this child for the sin of his father.‖



―I wish this child was mine.‖ Said Rocky.



―So do I Rocky, so do I.‖



―Then we will make this our child. May Deus be upon his life and his family forever.‖



―Oh Rocky, I do love you.‖



―And I you.‖



They stopped for a soda and went home which wasn‘t too far.





---§§§---









Rocky and Yvonne are on their way, early in the morning to an important meeting. They were

chatting about what Victor had told them as they ambled under the shady trees. Yvonne turns

to Rocky and says.



―Rocky, what do you think is going to happen when the Holy Colleague comes to us.‖



―Sweetheart, I think the Holy Colleague will come inside us and change us into Deus‘s

glory and likeness.‖



―What do you mean, will we become like Deus himself?‖



―No, I think Deus wants to restore our old nature to what he designed us for, to be like

Victor.‖



―You know Rocky, I was so mad at Victor, I even rejoiced when I heard of his death.‖





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―And now?‖



―Now, I feel I lost years of intimacy with my only Saviour.‖



They arrived and met all Victor‘s pupils outside a private school. Sunday morning all those

who had dedicated their lives to Victor came along. Those, converted to Victor, mostly ran the

school. It‘s a grand school; it seats more than four hundred. On this particular morning, it was

quite full. With about a hundred and twenty families of different backgrounds, cultures and

race groups. Some of the women took the smaller children outside, so that they could play on

the jungle gym. They began their meeting by singing and praising Deus. They worshipped him

with all their heart. After they had sung from the gut-up, Yvonne took the children from

outside to one of the classrooms to tell them a story.



I would like to share a story with you to give you the kind of chance that has come about in my

life. She quickly got the kids to sit at their desks. Then I thought, she had better have a good

story to satisfy a child at a school desk. The children were almost ready when Yvonne said.



―The minute you are quiet I have a surprise for you.‖



The children immediately kept quiet and when there was total silence, the classroom door

opened. In walked one of the parents with one of the biggest gifts you have ever seen. A big box

covered in birthday rapping paper with a bright red coloured ribbon and bows.



―WOW‖



said the children with expectation. They were so excited as they stood up to see.



―What is it teacher, what is it?‖



―Well, if you all sit, I will open the present and show you.‖



Filled with interest and excitement they sat on the edge of their seats, waiting in anticipation to

see what she had in the box.



―OK children before I open this gift I want to tell you a story.‖



They were more than ready, so she took out a schoolbook and made as if she was reading. The

children thought she was reading it, but she was telling her own story and this is how it went.



―Once open a time there was a man who was the most generous man in the whole world.

He wanted to give the best present to the children of the world. He went to all the shops to

see what he could buy for the children. He first went into the sweet shop and the

shopkeeper warned him that too many sweets are going to rot the children‘s teeth. Then he

went to the toy shop, and the shopkeeper warned him that too much toys, caused children

to fight with each other. So he went to the party store, and the shop owner warned him

that too many parties would spoil the children and they would learn nothing from it. He

went from one store to the next, but all the storekeepers had warned him about their

product. Then one day he was walking through the library looking for ideas. A Librarian

noticed that he was somewhat puzzled and asked him.



―Sir, can I help you?‖





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―I‘m not too sure, said the man. I have being looking for the best gift for the children of

the world‖.



Then the Librarian said, ―I have the best present in my office, do you want to have a









look.‖



―Yes, please.‖ Said the man.



Then the Librarian brought out this box, which is on my desk. The Librarian opened the

box and showed the man the best gift money can buy. Then she turned to the children and

said. Do you know what is inside this box?‖



All the children wanted to know what was inside the box and they all asked various questions.



―Is it chocolates?‖ - ―No, it is not sweets.‖



―Is it clothing?‖ - ―No, it is not clothing.‖



―Is it pets?‖ - ―No, it is not pets.‖



Then one boy could not wait, and said. ―What is it then?‖



Yvonne said. ―Should we open the box and find out.‖



―Yes‖, said the children.



Slowly she undid the bow and opened the lid of the box. The children were on their toes

wanting to see what was in the box. And Yvonne said, you better sit, if you want to know. They

quickly sat down, and then she opened the box, and said.



―WOW, there are lots of things inside here.‖



Then slowly she put her hand inside and pulled out a card. She turned the card around to

show the children.



―What does that say, and what does it mean?‖ Said one of the older children.



―It is words, and it says [LOGOS & RHEMA].‖



―What are logos and rhema?‖



―Well, children it means words. Not any words, but rather special words.‖



―Special words, what kind of special words?‖ Said another boy.



―Well, it is special words that make up the best story, and children throughout the world

will come to hear it.‖





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One of the girls then said. ―Teacher, don‘t you want to tell us the story.‖



―OK.‖ Said Yvonne.



―The story is inside this box, are you ready for it?‖



―Yes came the reply.‖



Then Yvonne took out another word out of the box. And the word read [LOVE].



―Yes, love is the best present any child can receive. Now let me tell you about the best love

story in this box.‖



Then Yvonne put her hand back into the box, and pulled out the biggest and ripest bunch of

grapes. She held the grapes in her hands and said.



―Deus loved the little children so much that he gave his only child, to teach us about

himself.‖



I wonder what she is going to do with that bunch of grapes, I thought? Then without saying a

word she plucked a grape and popped it into her mouth. She then extracted another and

popped into one of the children‘s mouths and said. ―Mmm, taste and see how good it is.‖ Then

she continued.



―His son tried to do everything in his power, to show us that he had come from Deus. But,

did you know what the rulers did?‖



―What did they do?‖



―They killed him!‖



And with that she squeezed the grapes, till the pips popped out and the juice squirted all over

the place. The children got such a fright and one of the girls, said.



―This is not a love story, this is a terrible story!‖



Yvonne looked at her, and said.



―I thought so too in the beginning, but something made me change my mind.‖



―What changed your mind teacher?‖



Then Yvonne put her hand back into the box and said.



―I wonder what we have here.‖



Then she took out a cloth and cleaned her hands and the table in front of her. I don‘t know if

the children understood the meaning of that cloth, but maybe one day they will. After cleaning

her hands, she asked the children a question.



―What does the farmer do when crushing grapes?‖





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Then another girl said.



―He makes grape juice from the grapes.‖



―You know what, you are such a clever class. I wonder what I have in this box now?‖



She put her hand in once more and took out a bottle of grape juice.



―WOW, look what I have here.‖



Then she put her hand back into the box and took out some foam cups and said.



―Now this is true love.‖



As she poured the juice for the children, she said.



―You see the grapes had to be broken and crushed for you and I to have juice. And Deus

had to see his son being crushed so that you and I can experience his love. Now children

this took me a long time to understand, and I still don‘t grasp its full meaning, but I

believe it is truly the best love story.‖



Uncle Victor once said.



―Greater love has no man than he that lay down his life for his friends.‖

Some of the children understood what she was saying.



While Yvonne was busy with the children, Rocky had shared something for the grownups.

Now let me share with you what he had to say. After they had sung, he asked the people to

close their eyes and raise their hands up towards heaven. This the people did, then he asked

them to repeat after him the following.



―Open our eyes Lord that we may see; Open our eyes‘ Victor, open our eyes.‖



Then he went into prayer and then they prayed aloud; thanking Deus for their joy, and for his

peace in their lives. After they prayed Rocky asked them a question.



―Do you think that sin is our biggest problem?‖



As the people nodded in agreement, Rocky said.



―Those of you who think that sin is the biggest problem, will you raise your hand.‖



The whole audience raised their hands, and then Rocky made this statement that rocked us all,

including me.



―Let me tell you that you are all wrong, Sin is not our biggest problem.‖



Well, this came as a surprise. Everyone looked at Rocky and wanted answers. One of the

pupils turned to Rocky and said.



―Rocky, I think you made a mistake, sin is our biggest problem!‖





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―No, Marcus, sin is not our biggest problem.‖



Marcus slightly embarrassed, quickly replied.



―Then what is our problem, Rocky?‖



―Well, if you guys can sit and relax I will explain.‖



All the leaders wanted to know what Rocky had to say, so they too were going to hang on every

word that he had to say. Then Rocky adjusted himself to address the assembly. Meanwhile

Yvonne was sharing the story of Victor in her life. And some of the children were crying, when

they began to understand how much God loved them. Each one of them prayed and asked

Deus to come into their lives. For the first time I could see angels around the children as they

were praying. What are these angels doing? Oh my goodness, they are fighting, I can‘t believe

it - they are fighting! They are fighting against other angels. The ugly angels were powerless,

and left. Wait a minute I can see now, these angels were protecting the children against the evil

angels. Then I went back to Rocky to hear what he had to say.



―Brothers and sisters, there are whites among you that cannot wait for summer. You

prepare yourselves so well for the sun. When the sun comes out you strip, and for what

reason. Yes, you strip, plus add a lotion to the skin so that the sun can add some colour to

your white skin. In the beginning of summer the beaches are filled with ghosts that want to

be humans.‖



A couple of blacks started to laugh at their counterparts. Then Rocky turned to them and said.



―What are you laughing about, there are a number of you blacks that layer some white

staff on your face? Some even bleach their hair blond, which makes them look like

wandering ghosts.‖



Everyone laughed, however they wanted to know what this had got to do with sin.



―Whites wanting to become darker, and blacks wanting to become lighter. Maybe it is a

joke, because in winter the whites return whiter than white. And when a black lady washes

that white paste off her face, she looks herself again. My point is clear, we are what we are.

We cannot change ourselves. We would like to, that‘s why plastic surgeons make so much

money. Now this is true about our sin lives.



We are born sinners and we will die sinners.



That is who we are - „sinners‟. Now we would like to change that fact and for a little while

we get it right, then for some reason we go back to winter.



Sin is not the biggest problem, it is a reality, and it is a fact of life. If it is a problem, I can

solve it. And if I can solve it, I don‘t need Deus.



Can we solve the sin issue, some people think they can, and they continue to live that lie till

they die? Let me give an example of what I mean:



‗Can you remember on the news of that evil man that raped a ten month old baby?‘







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When I saw how evil this man had become, I knew without a doubt he is possessed with

the demonic realm. ‗I‘m sure you must agree, this is not normal?‘ It makes us sick to think

that man can become that depraved, but let me remind you of what our Lord said.



‗A mans eyes connected to his lustful thoughts, commits the same sin as the one who raped

that child!‘



Another example, take the custom of Taxi driving and compare that to the law, now take

the law and compare it with the speed limit we drive. I‘m reminded about a story of a

young lady who went on holiday with a group of friends. All she could talk about was how

one guy stole hundreds of Rands worth of goods while they were on holiday. Everyone saw

this man as a thief and so he was, but Deus saw her as much a thief because she took a

snippet of a plant for her garden.



If you tell a white lie or rebuke another by calling them a fool, you are in danger of the

eternal death penalty. Sin is sin, if only we could firstly see our need to change, and let me

remind you every person can change, no matter how serious his or her sin is.



Secondly understand we cannot change ourselves. And although we cannot change

ourselves, Deus can and therefore he gave us his one and only son. Not one of his spare

angels, but his only son. We will never be able to resolve our sin ―problem‖ but Deus‘ Son

can, and will, if we let him. It is well for us, in the midst all the unstableness of life, that

there is One Lord and Saviour who never changes. One whose heart can never alter, and

whose Word remains the same yesterday, today and forever.



All things are in constant change. The sun itself grows dim with age and the world is

waxing old. The heavens and the earth must soon pass away, it must perish, and like a

garment it will grow old. One who only has immortality, of whose years there is no end,

and in whose person there is no change, has delighted to live in a repented body that would

inevitable decay. WOW what a thought, the satisfaction of a disciple of Victor when, in the

midst of all the changes of this troubled life, he rests his faith upon this truth, Victor is the

Lord, and will never change. Therefore we can say with confidence; ‗Death, where is your

victory? Where, O death is your sting?‘‖



Then there was a silence and Rocky went into prayer. The people understood, then the people

went into praise. At this time, Rocky went into a vision and raised his voice and shared it out

loud.



―I see a number of angels coming down from heaven, one of them is holding a long chain

in the one hand and in the other hand, I see a double edged sword. He entwines the chain

around Devils Peak. While Deus‘s people are praying, the other angels are binding evil

forces in the coiled chain. I see every kind of demonic spirit you can think of. The spirit of

drunkenness, the spirit of depression, the spirit of homosexuality, the spirit of poverty, the

spirit of violence, the spirit of oppression, the spirit of sexual perversion, the spirit of

deceiving, the spirit of cheating, and on and on.



Binding every spirit of darkness, into the chain that just continues to coil. Then Deus‘s

people stopped praying. And without them realising, the angels stopped working. When

Deus‘ people continued to pray, the angels continued to destroy the demonic realm.

Tragically, the opposite also happened when Deus‘s people wished someone harm. The

angel would unwind his chain, however in this case they went on to pray earnestly, till

every demonic spirit was bound. Then the word of the Master came to me and said.

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The heart of the Caterpillar



‗I will cast them into a pit of darkness where they will be tormented with brimstone and

fire for ever.‘



Then the Holy Colleague would come down in His full Glory and Power. The multitudes

around the world will fall to the ground in awe and worship Deus. The tears of the mass

will not be held back much longer, even the greatest of men will cry like babies, with tears

of exultation.‖



While everyone was still in an attitude of prayer, a sound like the blowing of a violent wind

came from heaven and filled the whole school where they were seated. The hall lights flickered

out and what seemed to be light bulbs of fire gleamed off each person. It was an awesome

display of human illumination, never seen in history before. Yvonne and the children ran into

the hall to see what was happening, as they entered the hall, they too were baptised into the

Holy Colleague and began to speak in many known languages, but unknown to themselves.



This took place in the morning and although the sun was out, its brilliance outshone the day.

People from all walks of life came out of their hiding places by the thousands. For the entire

building lit up like a colossal light bulb. Some Deus-fearing visitors who were on a holiday trip

and touring by bus nearby the school, stopped. Their inquiring minds brought the bus to the

school. They got out and moved closer to satisfy their curiosity. In absolute unbelief they were

dumb struck, as they heard foreigners speaking a language they understood. Totally baffled,

they ran to their leaders and asked.



―How is it that each of us can hear these men speak in our own native tongue?‖



Amazed and perplexed, they asked one another.



―What on earth do you think this means?‖



Some of the other men however, made fun of them saying.



―They had far too much wine.‖



Rocky stood up and directed the crowds outside, while the others rigged up the amplifiers to

the outside intercom system. The people were buzzing like bees and so the pupils got some kind

of order. Rocky raised his deep voice to settle the crowds and then said.



―Brothers and sisters. What you see is no accident. Deus had promised the prophets a

covenant. There will come a time and one will pay the full sacrifice once and for all. All the

sin of mankind, will be set free if they believe and accept him as their Saviour and

Master.‖



Some men ridiculed him saying.



―You guys are drunk and belong in the circus!‖



Rocky turned to the little crowd on his left wing and said.



―Are you saying that these little children are drunk as well, come on, it‘s only nine in the

morning? Now tell me, seeing that you are so bright, so early. Did Deus ever become the

man, Victor?‖

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---§§§---









The men that were so outspoken now where silent, afraid of what might happen to them. They

heard of Saul‘s action, and like typical cowards they didn‘t respond. They hoped that Rocky

would answer his own question, and get himself into trouble. Rocky, discerning their hearts

became angry with those who came to stir.



Then he shared this story.



―Once there was a devoted couple and their only son, who collected as many butterflies as

they could find. They set aside every other task to collect these species with their many

different colours and sizes. When they found a new butterfly, they would invite all their

friends over. Their support came from the mother who. While she was preparing some

goodies in the kitchen, father and son would show off the collection of their companions,

their beautiful butterflies and all their trophies. With much excitement they overlooked a

rather creepy stranger walk in, until his stench gave him away. Nevertheless, his dad acted

quickly and wisely, with the sickly and impaired old man, and had him removed by the

servants. Protesting this sickly man shouted.



‗I hate butterflies, I will triumph over these butterflies by exterminating every caterpillar I

find.‘



The heartrending son, who loved butterflies more than anything in the whole world, finally

broke silence. Holding onto a butterfly with tears in his eyes, he said to his father.



‗If he kills the caterpillars, we won‘t see any butterflies, will we dad.‘



Then he burst into tears with the thought that it is easier to catch caterpillars than butterflies.

All their friends were caught up with his emotions, but no one could do anything against the

wicked man, as there was no law against killing caterpillars.



The old man placed an add in the local paper and it stated:



‗Ten Rand reward for a jar of caterpillars, in-or outside their cocoons.‘



Schoolboys and even girls took the opportunity to make some fast cash, cashing in their bottles

of caterpillars. They did not know of the insanity of the old man. They became very rich and

the caterpillars became very scarce. Only about a third of the boys and girls did this horrible

thing. So the others decided to protect the caterpillars by freeing any jar of caterpillars, and

destroying the jars. Since then the children have being fighting in the schools over the life of a

poor worm.





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The father and son received an invitation from the wicked old man and reluctantly they

accepted. The house was old, damp and dark as they walked to the front door that almost

automatically creaked open, and that repulsive voice tone rang out.



‗Come in my butterfly lovers; make yourselves comfortable on my new crocodile lounge

suit. Juicy is making tea, how would you like it wormed or de-wormed?‘



With that he laughed loudly. Before the boy could open his mouth, his father said.



‗Son!‘



Nothing else was said, because the boy knew the wisdom of his father‘s plans. As Juicy, a very

attractive young lady served them with tea. The wicked man brought out his pets. Billions

upon billions of caterpillars, locked up in a glass prison where caterpillars never die. They

were just barely living, but never ever able to be free, to become butterflies.



‗My dear friends I will give you all these stupid worms if you make me a partner in the

business.‘



Both father and son walked out, leaving their tea. The old man laughed and laughed loudly,

saying.



‗Bye - bye, my butterfly lovers, come back again.‘



As they walked down the lane, the son said.



‗Dad we must put our plans in action. One of us must communicate with the caterpillars.

The heart of the caterpillar has turned out to be desperately wicked but now dad they are

desperately in need of our help. To communicate with the caterpillars I would be willing to

become a caterpillar, not only to talk to them but also to deliver them from their pain and

suffering.‘



‗Son, some of the caterpillars will listen to you, you have my blessing.‘



The young man just had to warn the caterpillars soon of their devastating doom.



But how you may be asking? In order to talk with a caterpillar, he would have to become one.



Rocky having every bit of attention now, asked the ―sober‖ men who were standing with their

arms still folded.



―So come mighty men of valour, did Deus become a man?‖



No one dared answer, there was no response from the people, other than a teenager, who

raised his hand, however his mother quickly pulled it down again. Then Rocky raised his voice

once again, and said.



―Where are the men, amongst you?‖



Then he lowered the tone of his voice and continued.







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―A very thought provoking question, you may ask. It can keep every person speculating

for years. [How can he] - you may ask yourself, he is Deus Almighty? Or if Deus is Spirit,

how can he become flesh? Many questions from a human point of view and in our sinful

nature will bring us to no conclusion. So we are compelled to go back to what the prophets,

had to say.‖



Rocky faced a potential threat if the crowds swayed against him. Then he said what they all

wanted to hear him say.



―It is true, Victor was very much a man, in every way like us and although he was a man

he too is in everyway Deus. Yes, Deus and Victor are one, hard to believe true, but

nonetheless. He willingly became a man to pay the price for our transgression, according

to the prophet - Isaiah.‖



―He will take upon himself the punishment of mans wickedness.‖



The people wanted to believe Rocky. Then one of the locals shouted from within the crowd



―Victor is dead, I was commanded to kill him, and it was I that shot him. When water and

blood flowed out, even the doctors agreed he was dead. How can Deus die, and are you

condemning me of killing Deus?‖



Rocky addressed the young man.



―All have sinned and fall short of Deus‘s standard. I too am as guilty as you. Maybe more

so, for I spent more than three years in his presence. And the more you know, the more

guilty you are.‖



―If all have sinned, then why should we strive to become perfect? Why not eat, drink and

be merry, tomorrow we plan our tombs anyway?‖



―You are right, we all have a choice in life. We can choose to believe in Deus, and play in

the devil‘s backyard. It‘s true, a true believer will not loose his inheritance, and however,

he will pay a price. Have you seen a killer whale play with its prey, so too will an evil spirit

juggle its enemy. Those that flirt with sickness, secure the fruit of it. Those that

impersonate their friends can predict their future. The strength of an evil deed is the

outcome of a nightmare. The results of tomorrow are the seeds of today. What you cannot

see in the dark, you will feel in the morning. True strength is found in the minority, false

angels flirt with the masses. It is better to own nothing now and live radiant lives, than to

live for everything now and become barren tomorrow. It is not good for man to live alone,

but it is better than dying with a crowd. Men of Deus stand up and be counted. This is

what our father David said.‖



―I saw the Master always before me, because he is at my right hand, I will not be shaken.

Therefore my heart is glad and my tongue rejoices; my body also will live in hope, because

you will not abandon me to the grave, nor will you let your Holy One, see decay. You have

made known to me the paths of life, you will fill me with joy in your presence.‖



The glow on Rocky‘s face became brighter as he shared, but I couldn‘t believe how some men

can still shake their heads at the truth. Rocky then turned to the crowd, and said.







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―Friends, I can tell you confidently that David died and was buried, for his tomb is here to

this very day. He knew that the Almighty Deus had given him a promise, which was that

he would nominate one of his descendants to his throne. David glimpsing what lied ahead,

spoke of the resurrection of the Victorious Victor, (he was the Holy One) whom we

assassinated. He was not going to be tied to the grave, nor did his body see decay. Now

Deus, our father has raised this Victor, his only son to life. And we are all witnesses to this

fact. Now this great light you see. We have received from the Father, the promised Holy

Colleague. What you now see and hear has been poured out on us. For David did not

ascend to heaven, and yet he said.‖



―The Master said, to my Master: Sit at my right hand until I make your enemies a

footstool for your feet.‖



―Take heart men of Deus, the caterpillars portray humanity. And as caterpillars have a

connection to butterflies, so are we connected to Deus.‖



Then Rocky continued with his parable.



―Then the little boy said to his father. ‗Would the caterpillars understand us, and more

importantly, would they believe me?‘



‗Son, I will open their eyes. Go, I will be with you‘.



Victor became a worm and not a man, scorned by caterpillars and despised by the worm

council, all who saw him, mocked him. They hurled insults, shaking their heads, handed him

over to the oldest boy in the school.



‗He trusted his father to make him a caterpillar, now that he is in my jar, he is worth

thirty Rand.‘



Said one of the older boys. After the boys had a bit of fun, they finally went to the old man‘s

house with the good news; good news indeed.



‗Old man, we have the son of the father who supernaturally changed him to a caterpillar,

to inform the other caterpillars of our plans to destroy them.‘



The old man gloated with a sinister smile.



‗This is good news indeed‘.



Holding the king of caterpillars, the son of his enemy, the lover of butterflies. He said to the

little caterpillar.



‗You trusted in your father, where is your father now, call him, wormy, you delight in him,

call your daddy to rescue you now. He laughed and he laughed loudly.‘



He showed off his trophy caterpillar to all the jailed caterpillars, by painting him purple. After

painting him, he stripped him using paint stripper. Then he jabbed the caterpillar in his side

with the back of the paintbrush. He looked gross from every angle, and in a worm like

language known only to caterpillars. He cried out in a loud voice, saying:







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‗Eloi, Eloi, Lama sabachthani.‘ The love of the son in its sweetness, its fullness, its

greatness, its faithfulness, passes all caterpillar comprehension. He loved the caterpillars

that hated him and was willing to die for his enemies. A man will die for his own, but how

many men would die for a caterpillar that abuses the name of man. A man who would

become a worm so that even if one caterpillar believed him, he would be saved.



The old man laughed and drank wine. While some of the imprisoned caterpillars were

wondering who the second dad was, as the first had died. Without warning a freak accident

appeared, from nowhere. It wiped out the electricity for about three hours, from the house. A

few minutes later, another freak accident. The caterpillars thought to themselves. ‗Now we are

going to die!‘ Then a strong wind blew against the father‘s house and his front door split in

two parts. This was very strange as there was nothing abnormal about their house. This

however did not disturb the sick old man. He paraded his victory for what felt like several

hours, then hurled him into his glass prison. He locked it, and said laughingly.



‗I have the keys of death and hell, for you my little wormy.‘



Once he was locked up, some of the caterpillars came and tended to his needs, while others

cursed him, saying.



‗Although you say, you were once a man; you may have displayed the strength and

wisdom of one. Yet you allowed this evil to penetrate you. Why?‘



The little worm remained silent for three days. The old man drank heavy and in his

intoxicated state took the keys out on the morning of the third day. Then all of a sudden in

walked the father and mother of the little boy who loved butterflies. The mighty man of

wisdom grabbed the old man and pushed him into his crocodile lounge suit. The mother took

the keys, unlocked the glass jail and released the tiny prisoners. As she opened the prison

doors, all the caterpillars turned to butterflies. And their son also returned to them, well not

quite the same. There were very observable marks on his hands, feet and hole in his side that

never went away.



The old man lost the fight, but more importantly he lost the keys of death and hell.



Then the father made this declaration.



―As from today all the butterflies will have to give an account of their wormhood. Those

who will not accept our family, as their saviour will loose their beauty forever. I will be

master of the keys of death and hell. Those who believed were the family‘s pride and joy.

The others were locked up with the old man and many disobedient children in a dark

damp cellar, forever. You, old man, will receive the harshest of all punishment, every evil

deed you have done to others will be done to you.‖



There was silence throughout the school and the Holy Colleague began to do his work.

Everyone was pricked to the heart. Men and women fell to their knees and cried out to Deus,

because they realised they were like worms in Deus sight.



―Oh, Deus have mercy on us, we are sinners.‖



A big man with tears in his eyes asked Rocky.



―Rocky, what can I do to earn such a great deliverance from my sin, how do I get saved.‖

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The Pupils prayed and comforted those who were torn to the bone by the Colleague of Deus.

While Rocky addressed the man by telling him.



―No-good works you can do to pay for your sin. Only Deus can pay for such a penalty, and

it was paid for in full. This was done through the Master, Victor Crosswell, whom we

crucified. Redress yourself and believe that Victor paid the price for you. Then turn from

your old nature, and Deus will live in you by his Holy Colleague. Your old nature will fall

away and you will become a new creation. Everything will be dark and grey for those who

don‘t believe. But those who do believe, they will be standing on the green and luscious

side of life.‖



Then Rocky being prompted by the Holy Colleague to share with the crowds, said.



―Are there any who would like a new heart and be baptized into the Holy Colleague?‖



A man with tears streaming down his face walked up to Rocky and said.



―Can you forgive me and can your Deus forgive me?‖



―Deus has already forgiven you, because he has seen your heart, and only he can give

eternal life. I can only forgive you, if I knew the sin, that you have against me.‖



―I am truly sorry, I am the one that raped your wife.‖



There was a deadly silence for a few seconds. Yvonne holding onto an oversized tummy, put

her head between her legs and just cried and cried and cried. Rocky began to show a sign of

strength, and controlled his emotion simultaneously. I had never seen Rocky perform so

boldly, and produce so much fruit of his newfound faith before.



―Victor gave his life so that we can have it. Not only do I forgive you, I will give your child

special attention, as if it is my own.‖



Thousands of men and women unmasked themselves of their pride and came forward to be

baptized by the Colleague of Deus. Some teachers of the law however removed their presence

and stood at a distance. I heard one of them saying.



―Before we had one problem, ‗Victor‘. Now we have thousands, maybe even millions.‖



Rocky, controlled by the Holy Colleague, said.



―If you have received Victor in your hearts, your new life will manifest itself with Him.

Walking implies action and action produces results. We walk in faith with Him, because

we know He has the best route in store for our lives. If a man walks in Victor, then he acts

as Victor would act. Victor being in him, his hope, his love, his joy, his life, his spirit will

reflect the image of Victor. It will be said of them that walk in the Lord, ‗He is like his

Master; he lives like Victor Crosswell.‘ Walking signifies progress. Proceed from strength

to strength; run forward until you reach the degree of knowledge that a man can attain

concerning him.



Renew your mind with His thoughts. An ounce of heart knowledge is worth a ton of head

learning. Walking implies going forward. There must be a continual abiding in Victor. We

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should always be with Him, treading in His footsteps and doing His will. Walking also

implies habit. Begin this day with this thought in your heart that the Master Victor is

coming tonight. If you make your bed as early as you can, you will experience your day.

Therefore, live today as the last day of your lives. Keep your curtains open, it will keep

your house clean and protect it at the same time. Do not worry about yesterday, for you

cannot replace it.



Nevertheless, if there is a tomorrow, thank your heavenly father for it. Live it, as if it were

your last. If you experience a tomorrow, give thanks for it; therefore greet each day with

love in your heart. Teach yourself to present yourselves one hundred percent better than

yesterday. Have the best attitude and don‘t allow your emotions to rule your day. Set goals

to invest in the world, by helping others to become physically, spiritually, psychologically,

socially and financially independent. Because your inheritance is in heaven, your interest

will be there also. Allow the Holy Colleague to bath you over and over again, and by so

doing, this evil darkness suffocates itself. If you make it through the winter, you can enjoy

the summer. If not, remember God‘s face shines within the faithful, throughout the year,

for He sees the road that lays ahead for you.‖



Then he paused for a little while and said.



―It is true to say, the devil is out like an expiring roaring lion, nonetheless he is locked up

in a cage and his roar only affects those who know him. Those who know Victor

personally, are outside the cage and therefore, they are outside his reach.‖



Rocky, knew there were many that believed with a mental understanding, but with their heart

they could be swayed by any doctrine. Turning his eyes towards heaven for a moment and then

towards the crowds, he said.



―There was this fundamentalist, a clown who walked a tightrope. One day he made a

statement that shocked the world. ‗I will walk the tightrope between two buildings in Cape

Town with the South Easter blowing, without a net.‘ This soon became big news, and the

time came for him to put his money where his mouth was. The main road was barricaded

off, the tightrope was set in place, and the news media and crowds were ready to see the

spectacular stunt. Like only the South Easter can, it whistled through the buildings. Out

from the balcony stepped the clown, and the crowd edged him on, shouting and clapping.

Placing his one foot on the tightrope silenced the crowd, then the Ringmaster raised his

voice through a loudspeaker.



‗Ladies and gentlemen, we have a clown who has the guts to open a new episode in history.

Believe it or not, he is placing his life in danger for a good cause.‘



Then a drum roll rang out, as he placed his second leg onto the rope. He gently took

another step, and another, and another. The rope started to sway and the clown almost

lost his balance. Some people gasped while others closed their eyes, not wanting to see. In

the centre of the rope now, he had such confidence that he started acting on the rope. He

would run across the rope and run back again as if he were crossing the street. The crowds

applauded and the Ringmaster raised his voice once again.



‗Believe it or not, for the first time in history we have a tightrope walker, who has done

what most thought beyond understanding.‘







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Then the drums rolled once again. This time the clown came out with a wheelbarrow and

walked the tightrope. The crowds believed the clown could do it, and they applauded him

all the way. The Ringmaster shouted to the crowds once again.



‗Do you believe the clown can do it again?‘



The crowds applauded and eagerly shouted.



‗Yes, we believe he can.‘



The Ringmaster then said.



‗I am looking for a volunteer to sit in the wheelbarrow.‘



The crowds became quiet because this took real faith.‖



Then Rocky paused for a short while, and said.



―Let me warn you that in the last days there will be many clowns attracting large crowds,

nonetheless there will only be one Deus, one Son, and one Counsellor and their testimony

will be the truth that will set you and I free!‖



Who would have thought, he was just a fisherman with wisdom like that. Rocky had the

attention of everyone, and once again addressed the crowds.



‗Your reward will be this, if only we believe in Victor, this is what he said. ‗No eye has

seen, no ear has heard, what Deus has prepared for those who love him, and believe in

him. All you have to do is get into the wheelbarrow. Those who choose to sit in the

wheelbarrow, this is what I‘ve got say to you. Enjoy it, enjoy it, enjoy it and again I say,

enjoy it!!!‘



Then out of the blue, Rocky blurted.



―There‘s a time to burp and there‘s a time to fart.‖ A hush swept through the crowd, as he

added. ―There‘s a time to worship, with all your heart.‖



While the ladies blushed, Rocky said.



―Don‘t be coy, there will be times when you will need to please your flesh, but now it is

time to please Victor Crosswell. Let us sing praises to his name.‖









---§§§---









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I see Rocky and Yvonne lying sound asleep in their double bed and as the spirit of this book,

all I can say is, ―Rocky is a dreamer!‖



About myself, all I can say is.



―I am still roaming, so be prepared when you dream. The next storybook may be about

your life.‖



Then abruptly and inconsiderately early that morning, the doorbell rings. Rocky is still fast

asleep. Yvonne, still half asleep, manages to get her gown on and like one sleepwalking, she

makes her way to the front door. On the way there she‘s still trying to improve her looks. She

opens the door. At the same time, the cops barge in. The very same patrolmen, who captured

Victor, now make their way to Yvonne‘s bedroom. Without asking questions, they pull off the

duvet.



They grab Rocky half naked and pretty much half asleep. As they were busy dragging him off

into the van, Yvonne starts screaming and one of the men hit her so hard with his fist that she

went spinning through the air. She bounces off the corner of their bed, onto the floor. While

she is lying on the floor with the blood running from her, now broken nose, Rocky tries to

break free, but four men were pinning him down. Then the man that Rocky attacked when

they caught Victor said.



―This is for stabbing me with a broken bottle.‖



He turns to Yvonne who is still lying on the floor and kicks her a mighty blow in the stomach.

They then continue to drag Rocky to the van. There they threw him into the van with the same

man that raped his wife, and off they drove.



Yvonne was screaming at the top of her voice, with what must be an unthinkable pain. Some of

the neighbours heard the commotion and ran over to their house. Only to find Yvonne in a

pool of her own blood. One of them called for an ambulance, while another got a face cloth and

some water. She was in extreme pain, and the ambulance arrived soon. She was then rushed to

Groote Schuur Hospital.



Her family and friends were notified and they too rushed off to the hospital. When they

arrived, they were told that she is in the theatre undergoing a serious operation. They would

have to wait in the waiting room. Dr. Luke and some other doctors were in there with her. It

seamed like hours had passed, as little John and Mary strolled up and down the passage,

waiting for her results. Then finally Dr. Luke walks rapidly from the theatre towards them.

Mary darts to him and with an urgent expression on her face, says.



―How is she?‖



Dr. Luke puts his arm around Mary, while little John looks on, and Lukie says.



―We are not too sure if she will make it through the night, but she is a strong woman.‖



Then Mary said. ―What about the baby!‖



Dr. Luke just held her in his arms and said.



―I‘m sorry Mary, the baby didn‘t stand a chance.‖

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All three just held each other as Mary wept. They all knew the trials she had to face, now this.



In the meantime, Rocky and the father of his now dead child were travelling along the N1,

towards Paarl. How the world can turn on one. Now, Rocky‘s only partner in life is the man

who raped his wife. He then turns to Rocky, and says.



―Sir, where are they taking us?‖



―Young man be strong, and remember this. Life and death hasn‘t got an ending, so choose

life, even if they kill us.‖



He said this whilst they were on their way to the Taal Monument. Rocky knew this meant

certain death, and yet he was unafraid. By the time they reached the monument, all three

vehicles stopped in the shape of an arrow behind the van. They were on their guard, knowing

the kind of man, Rocky is. With their hand guns out they opened the van. Half naked Rocky

came out first, then the other man. They were asked to stand in the amphitheatre, and then

they were asked several questions. The first question was addressed to the man.



―Did you, or did you not rape a woman?‖



The man was about to open his mouth, when they shot the man in cold blood. The sergeant,

said.



―Of cause you did, you already admitted it.‖



Rocky, saw the man dying at his feet, holding out his hand towards Rocky, saying.



―I am truly sorry, Rocky.‖ Then he died.



They then grabbed Rocky and bound him with rope. Then they hung him upside down, just

above the dead body. Rocky stared down at the blood foaming from the body below him and

then he looked up at the men. They were laughing at him and one said.



―Where is your Deus now, Rocky?‖



Rocky managed to look up into heaven, and there he could see Victor standing next to the

Father. Then Rocky spoke up, and said.



―I no longer live, but Victor lives in me. The life I live in the body, I live by faith in the Son

of Deus, who loved me and gave himself for me. When I look down, I see the turmoil of this

world, when I look up; I see the glory of Deus. But when I look at you, I see Satan through

and through.‖



Then the men burning with anger all pointed their weapons at him and with absolute hatred,

shot him.



After Rocky‘s death, I believe for the first time, Deus allowed me to see a mans spirit leave his

body. And I thank Him for allowing me to have a friend like Rocky. It has been so lonely; a

Spirit friend will be the greatest gift. I was so happy; it has been years since last I could

converse with someone. I wondered about others, how come I was isolated from the dead?





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‗Why did I have to suffer so long?‘



I did nothing wrong to deserve this kind of treatment and do not understand the reason. What

is the purpose of being lonely? I‘m not too sure of the answer, but maybe Rocky can enlighten

me.



I was on my way to meet Rocky‘s spirit. Then when I got there, there were several angels

around him. Then the angels escorted him into the heavens. I followed them, but I was blocked

off by a host of angels. One of the angels turned to me, and said.



―How can I help you?‖



I replied, by saying.



―I have been roaming the world back and forth for many years. Then I met Rocky and

became attached to him.‖



The angel then responded, and said.



―Do you know Rocky is more alive, dead than they who are alive, living? Nevertheless, I‘m

afraid where Rocky is you cannot enter, till the final verdict of your soul.‖



I got a little upset.



―How come everyone can go to heaven, and not me?‖



―That‘s not true, where there are incompatible corpses; there the vultures gather to

torment their souls and there are billions like you, roaming the world. You just can‘t see

them.‖ He replied.



―Do you mean I am passing friends and family, and I don‘t know it?‖



―Yes, that is correct.‖ Came the reply.



―I do not believe you?‖



Then the angel touched my eyes and for the first time I saw the worst hell ever known to man.

Then the angel touched my ears, and with that I began to shriek in pain. The horror that

confronted me; was the last thing I wanted to hear and the last thing I wanted to see. It was

worse than any horror movie ever seen. There was evil of its worst kind, they were tormenting

the dead, but the dead were alive. Like maggots eating the flesh of a helpless infant, the infant

never dies. Then I turned to the angel and cried out!



―Why - why, why, why? Please remove these pictures from my mind or I will go insane.‖



Then the angel touched my ears and my eyes and said.



―We angels just can‘t understand you humans. Life on earth is but a mere drop in the

ocean, yet we notice most transgressors laugh and make jokes about eternal things that for

us, are very serious. They make mention of how they will spend their time partying with

each other in hell. Though there are some things, only Deus will answer - one thing is for

sure, there is no party in hell.‖

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The heart of the Caterpillar



―How come Rocky can go to heaven and even that bloke that killed me, I believe can get

access into heaven, but not me?‖



―The reason is simple. Remember what Victor said.



‗For whoever wants to save his life will loose it, but whoever looses his life for me and for

the gospel will save it. What good is it if someone can gain everything the world can offer

him, yet at the end of his life, forfeits his soul?‘



You didn‘t receive the grace that was intended for all mankind, because you didn‘t accept it.‖



―I‘m sorry sir, but I did what the law demanded; I was a good person, and I lived a good

life.‖



―I know how much you changed and I saw your every movement, however Deus gave a

promise only to the seed of Abraham and told him that the Whities would enter his

kingdom.‖



―Are you saying that because I was a Coloured man from Cape Town and not a Whitie, I

will not enter heaven?‖



―I do feel sorry for all the gentiles in the world, but you would have to stand before the

Throne, on Judgment Day, to give an account of your life.‖



The angel was about to turn and make his way, when I had an urge to call him back.



―Sir, don‘t go yet!‖



―You are a persistent one, what do you want?‖



―My father said, never say die, till a dead horse kicks you!‖



―This is your last request, I must get back to my duties.‖ Said the angel.



―Please don‘t go yet, can‘t I get in touch with my family and friends and tell them how to

get to heaven. I have documented Rocky‘s life and if they can read it, just maybe I would

be able to save a life from torment and loneliness.‖



―I am very sorry, they saw Victor‘s life and his death and his resurrection. Why would

they listen to you?‖



―In these past lonely years, I have been granted wisdom and gained knowledge. I have

come to understand that life is meaningless to the majority of mankind. A wise man will

fear Deus, keep his commandments and obey his Son and forever will rejoice with like-

minded friends. I have had no such pleasure on earth to help them understand what I

know now. Please sir, only one more miracle, I beg you.‖



―Very well then, you can place your script at a Publisher of your choice. If they publish it,

well, then you have succeeded in your goal. If not, wait for your judgment and except your

lot in life.‖





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Then the angel left him alone, and disappeared.









Ps. If you find this script please read it and pass it on, I want you to know hell exists.

Once I was lost, I could be found.

Once I was lost, I could be found.

Once I was lost, now I found out.

Now I am lost, and no one can find me.

Now I am crying, yet no one can see my tears.

Now I am hungry, and no one can feed me.

Now I am cold, and no one can keep me warm.

Now I am in darkness, and no one has a light for me.

Now I am dead, there is no one to talk to.

Now I am dead, there is no one to listen to.

Now I am dead, there is no one to fight with.

Now I am dead, there is no one to fall in love with.

Now I am dead, there is no one to comfort me.

How can I depart - if no one deletes me?

What an abhorrent existence, if only the living knew.





Websites: http://www.ilafund.co.za

http://www.street-children.co.za









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What paralysed you yesterday has come to equip you today.





Now a certain rich man had everything life could offer, he spent his entire day collecting

valuables. From the best to the most up to date, he had collected everything his heart had set

out. He was so wealthy; there was nothing he could not afford. His greatest desire and passion

was his lust after the best original paintings of famous artists all over the world. He collected

originals from Van Gough, Rembrandt, Picasso and many other famous artists. He had

collected so many pieces of art, his home looked more like a gallery than a dwelling place, but

above the fireplace, the centre of his home, he always kept the best piece. In the evening he

would come home, settle comfortably into his lounge suit and admire his wealth above the

mantle, whilst the warmth of the fire glowed throughout the room. His passion and dream was

to replace the best of the best above his fireplace. There was no gallery in the world that could

compete with his home.



Then one day his wife fell ill, she was dying of an incurable disease, he called on all the

famous artists of his time to capture her spirit on canvas. Soon after his wife slipped from his

life, he began to study each artist‘s perception of his late wife. The portrait of her that gave

him the most joy was now placed above the fireplace. Since his wife‘s death, he spent much of

his time with his one and only son. His relationship with his son soon became very evident. He

entertained less and less with his friends and delighted in his son‘s presence more and more.

They became more than family, they became best of friends. They did everything together,

there interests were the same, their love for art and culture harmonised with their love for life.

But their relationship was short lived when his son was called up for the army. Although they

wrote to each other often, it was never the same. His son‘s presence was so felt that he took to

reading and writing, and somewhat neglected his love for art.





Whilst he was still in his study, the doorbell rang. He made his way down the passage passing

one masterpiece after another. On opening the front door he was confronted by two well-

dressed gentlemen in uniform that imparted the news of his son. I was so moved by the tears

on the father‘s face, when he discovered the truth of his son‘s death. He mourned day and

night over the loss of his wife, and now the loss of his one and only son. I could see the old man

deteriorate quickly and because of his great love he became very ill. What made matters very

hard for the old man was he did not have a portrait of his son. Days turned to weeks and weeks

turned to months and the old man grew weaker by the day. Then one day he heard that a

fellow soldier in the army painted a portrait of his son. He renewed some of his strength and

made contact with the retired soldier. On meeting this fellow, at first he was taken by surprise.

The so-called artist looked scruffy and more like a hippy with his wild hair, dirty T-shirt and

torn jeans. The old man looked closely at the painted portrait, and although this looked to me

like the worst painting I had ever seen, the old man caught sight of his son. The old man

wanted to buy the painting from the young man. But the young man replied.



―I am sorry sir, I cannot sell this painting to you nor anyone else, for your son was the only one

who befriended me whilst we were in the army, and it was I that should have died not him.‖



The old man took one more look at the painting of his son and realising that not everything

could be bought, handed the portrait back. The young man saw the pain upon the old man‘s

tears and said.





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The heart of the Caterpillar

―Sir, I can see you have a greater love for your son, than I - the painting is yours to keep.‖



The old man accepted it gracefully and placed the painting as the best piece above the

mantle. Although he was very weak, he admired his favourite art everyday till the day he died.

After his death his estate had to be auctioned off according to his will. The fortune he owned

drew the wealthiest and most affluent people of the day. The young man heard of the old

man‘s death and arrived at the auction with his tattered old car. He was certainly out of place,

however, he was concerned about the auctioning off of the painting that was donated to the

late father. The auction began with the paintings. Whilst the entire famous artists portrayed

their various skills, their paintings were lined up to be auctioned off one at a time. The first

painting that was to be auctioned was that of the son. Everyone looked at the painting with

disgust. An unknown piece of art amongst the rich and famous was just unacceptable. No one

raised a hand to bid, for they knew the art was worthless. The auctioneer pleaded again and

again, saying.



‗All must go, not one piece must stay behind‘.



He lowered the bid to a tup-pence, but the rich and famous were unmoved. Finally the young

man raised his hand to buy back what belonged to him in the first place. The auctioneer tried

to persuade the others to increase the price, but to no avail, they would not budge. Slowly but

surely the bevel buffeted its way down, meeting its neighbouring piece of art.



―Going once, going twice - SOLD - to you young man at the back.‖



As all heads turned directly to this young fellow, he became embarrassed by his own

appearance and just wanted to leave. Now with that the auctioneer said.



―Ladies and gentlemen we have come to the end of the auction.‖



Everyone was in dismay.



―What about the original paintings of those famous artists all over the world and what about

the rest of his estate.‖



The crowd began to murmur saying.



‗We have come from far and wide to buy from this mans estate, and now you close the bid‘.



The auctioneer settled the people down and said.



―This is what the father has stated in his will: -



‗Whosoever has the son, has everything I own!‘‖



As an artist myself, I was moved by that sentence,



―Whosoever has the son has everything I own‖.



The story of the only son, ―Jesus Christ‖ is preached in many a church and if I may, it is this

teaching that is the cause of many a downfall in the body of the Church. In my fortieth year I

received a mug with this titled on the outside,





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The heart of the Caterpillar

―I am 19 years old with 21 years experience.‖



Likewise, as a Christian, I can clearly see that I have had 21 years experience as a

believer in a God and 22 plus years believing God. As a Christian I want to state this very

clearly. ―I am a sinner, filled with the same lusts and temptations as any other. As a unborn

again believer, filled with the Holy Spirit I have disobeyed the law (ten commandments) in

every way and if my faith in God depends and weighs entirely on the law of the first covenant,

I will go to hell and deserve full punishment. I purposely placed vulgar language and explicit

scenes in this script for two reasons. Firstly, I need to identify with my own sinful past and

witness the height from which I have fallen. Secondly and more importantly, I want to identify

with you, you the readers - to give you hope that as mankind, there is a life worth living, for in

this life and the life to come. As a result I qualify to understand, and I certainly identify with

the experiences on both sides of the Gospel line. From the line of believing to the line of

believing-in. How come is it that the ‗believer or unbeliever‘ has not questioned these

thoughts? Why the seed of an Israelite? Why was Jesus born of a virgin birth? Why were the

baby boys under the age of two killed soon after the birth of Jesus? Why did Jesus claim to be

equal to God? Why did the Jewish leaders want to kill Jesus? Why is Jesus the only way to

heaven? Why did Jesus have to die for the sin of mankind? Why is there no tangible ―man

built‖ temple for the Almighty to inhabit after the death of Christ? Why did the Temple

curtain separating man from God covering the Holy of Holies, split from top to bottom? Why

are there no more animal sacrifice‘s done by the Jews after the death of Jesus? Why is it that

Christians seam to be the only ones to have the power over evil spirits? Why did God tolerate

with that kind of teaching and why does he tolerate with this kind of teaching today? The

solution to the ―why‖ is simple.



Both God and salvation is dead or the ‗why‘ is yes and amen. I too came to understand

the love of God and my ―why‘s‖ changed to accept it as is. If the Church is wrong and if the

Bible is untrue, we will still lift our heads up and give an account. Yet, if the Bible is true,

where under heaven and from whom will you gain your strength? This book was not written to

judge but rather to teach. I heard about the story in a church service and it changed my life

forever, but I know that many of you have never seen the inside of a church building, therefore

this script belongs to everyone outside the body of Christ. I am hopeful that this book is gained

with the view of being given away. Because salvation is free, this book should be given to you,

do not keep this book on your shelf - but give it to someone else to read at no charge. I‘m

praying that God would raise generous people, who would in turn raise sufficient funds for a

million copies or more of this book and in as many languages possible, to be given away. My

dream is to see ―One Million Books - Given away‖ instead of ―One Million - Books Sold‖. If

the Lord wills, I hope to see the same in other languages.

The world we live in has three types of investment; Short, Medium and Long term

Investments. If you want wealth that you can enjoy forever, invest in what you cannot see and

one day you will have wealth that no eye has ever seen before.



―He, God has made us competent in ourselves as ministers of a new covenant – not of the letter

but of the Spirit; for the letter kills, but the Spirit gives life. (2 Cor 3:6)



―The Letter Kills‖ - ―The Spirit Gives Life‖



The letter is the tree of Knowledge and don‘t we love to gain it (Gen 3:5)

☻the Spirit on the other hand is the Tree of life. (Rev 22:14)

The letter teaches the Word of God and at times even accurately,

☻however, the Spirit in the believer knows the Author personally.

The letter selects mankind through their ethical accomplishments,



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☻however, God elects the Christian.

The letter influences salvation by good works, (Gal 2:16)

☻the Spirit on the other hand, presence salvation by grace (Gal 2:16)

The letter sometimes is a extremely high example of living a good life,

☻the Spirit is an example of living a Godly life.

The letter translates life,

☻the Spirit transforms life.

The letter desires to please God,

☻the Spirit of God desires to please man.

The letter plans to earn salvation,

☻the Spirit from the beginning of time had a plan to turn salvation to man.

The letter brings about debate,

☻the Spirit releases Gods Glory.

The letter is self gratification,

☻the Spirit on the other hand, gratifies God.

The letter prays for selfish motive,

☻the Spirit prays for Gods will to be done.

The letter will expand religions at an alarming rate,

☻the Spirit will grow His Church and the gates of hell will not overthrow it. (Mat 16:18)

The letter searches after god(s),

☻the Spirit of God searches after the heart of man.

The letter is a friend of (a) god(s),

☻the Spirit is family of God

The letter is born in the world by the world (John 3:6),

☻true believers are born again by the Spirit (John 3:3).

The letter gains the world, only to lose the soul (Mark 8:36),

☻the Spirit will give the disciples what no eye has seen, what no ear has heard, …(1 Cor 2:9)

The letter of the Old Covenant is favoured by law and the world is satisfied with it,

☻the Spirit is the New Covenant and Grace gains it through faith.

The letter is written on stone, (Ten commandments – Deut 4:13)

☻the Spirit has written our names in the book of life and no one can remove it. (Rom 8:37,38)

The letter is also the blood of men‘s sacrifice, by the sweat of their brow … (Gen 3:19),

☻the Spirit of God‘s own son sacrificed His own blood so that you and I can be set free.

The letter of the old creation, looks behind (2 Cor 5:17),

☻the Spirit of the new creation looks forward. (2 Cor 5:17)

The letter of man delivers his/her own sin,

☻the Spirit of God delivers the sin of man.

The letter grades the sin of man,

☻the Spirit of God only recognises sin.

The letter desires a way to God,

☻the Spirit knows the way to God.

The letter is wide enough and many travel on that road,

☻the Spirit leads us on the road that is narrow, but only few find it. (Mat 7:14)

The letter has knowledge of God(s),

☻the Spirit has an intimate relationship with God.

The letter require payment,

☻the Spirit is the gift given freely to whoever wishes it. (Isaiah 55:1-6)

A god that requires a religious life, requires the letter of the law,

☻the Spirit of God only requires a relationship with us.

The letter trusts in a system,

☻the Spirit trusts God emphatically for everything.

The letter that produces five foolish Virgins,

☻the Spirit of God that recognizes five wise Virgins. (Matthew 25)

The letter stores up riches on earth,



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☻the Spirit stores up riches in heaven.

The letter blinds the carnal mind spiritually,

☻the Spirit opens the eyes of the blind so that they see the light of Gods Glory.

The letter produces sinners from birth to death,

☻the Spirit produces Saints through a new birth to an everlasting life.

The letter is impatient, it insists instant everything,

☻the Spirit waits on God and has patience - (Gal 5:22)

The letter‘s primary goal is, to Glorify a man made practice,

☻the Spirit primary goal is to glorify God.

The letter sets goals, works hard, achieve much etc.

☻the Spirit cries out, saying to us. ―Do not lose heart; I have overcome the world.‖

The world plans to keep us in debt,

☻the plans God has for us are, plans to prosper us, not to harm us … (Jeremiah 29:11)



The ―letter‖ (the Word of God) is the vehicle to the ―Spirit of God‖. The letter on its own is

just knowledge of who God is. Knowledge is the fruit of the tree that our parents, (Adam and

Eve) ate. The law (Ten Commandments) is impossible to live by and only leads to death. The

Spirit of God gives life and liberty. The Word is like a manual. We have a manual, (The Bible),

we have a product, (you and me) and we have an Inventor, (God Almighty). If we have a

relationship with a manual, the Bible - all it does is make us religious. If we have a relationship

with each other - all it does is make us good human beings. If we have a relationship with God

through the Holy Spirit and through the sacrificed blood of Christ Jesus - we have what God

always wanted us to have from the beginning, Him. Is knowledge therefore not necessary and

even bad for us? No the Bible teaches us that the people of God are destroyed because of a lack

of knowledge of the Word of God - Hos 4:6. We all are born in the image of God; we just sold

the Spirit of God for knowledge of God and a practice of the law according to the letter. The

same Spirit of God that is in Christ Jesus is in me and can be in anyone who believes. It is

simple; ―For God so loved the World that He gave his one and only son, that whoever believes

in Him shall not perish but have eternal life.‖ John 3:16



Why are Christians not living the life according to the Spirit of God?



I believe it is because Jesus said, ―in this world you will have trouble.‖ We are tested, we are

tempted, and we are like sheep gone astray without our Shepherd, [Jesus Christ]. At salvation

the mind, the personality or temperament and the body do not change, only the spirit is born

again, therefore the Christian can still be wicked in their harshest form (and how the world

loves to tear Christians apart, after they have fallen). The Spirit is willing but the flesh is weak

and just to add, ‗sin is lekker‘. My body craves to sin from time to time and the Spirit craves to

give glory to God, and although I am dead to sin, my body isn‘t, therefore I have to change the

mindset, because as a man thinks, so is he. The world is like a roaring lion, if it can do what it

did to Jesus, what can it do to us? Do not lose heart Christian, Jesus said; ―I have overcome

the world.‖









---§§§---









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Where do I begin?



A miracle in the life of a child who was left alone on the street of Cape Town, South Africa

from the age of eleven. God takes a dyslexic child that cannot read nor write appropriately out

of all the millions of children off the streets. At the age of 21, he goes to a youth group around

Easter time, through a persuasive young man, a little more than 30 years ago. At the same

time, God works through several teenagers, and they had gladly handed over their lives to God

at an Easter camp.



That Friday evening had become the 1st day to a new life for me.



I walked into the same group of younger kids, and said in my heart; ―Lord, if this is what

Christianity is all about, make me like them!‖



Two things I did not know or understand.



I did not know I had just prayed the most powerful prayer; a man can ever pray and secondly;



I did not understand how much the Holy Spirit births Himself in a person who prays the way I

did.



I was attracted to youth groups and went again. One Saturday evening, I went to a more

mature youth group. This evening has welded a memory so fixed in my brain, it would be

impossible for me to forget. The group discussion revolved around the life of Jesus Christ and

our group. The same question was directed to all who attended, ―if Jesus Christ came for the

very first time, how would we respond to this question: ‗Would we follow, like the multitude

did or would we be one of the disciples of Jesus‘.‖ I had only been a Christian for two weeks,

how was I to know how much the Holy Spirit had stretched me to become more than just a

follower, nonetheless, to be a disciple, I had to trust God. How did this all come about, so

rapidly? I do not know.



I went home to my low income, one bedroom apartment in Cape Town, went to bed around

11pm and for first time in many years, I cried before God in deep repentance. I found myself

completely broken and totally vulnerable before Him, till I cried myself to sleep. I woke an

hour or so later, by a very distinct voice in my room, calling my name. I replied, thinking,

someone was outside my door. I jumped out of bed, answering the stranger at the same time,

opened the only door leading in to the apartment. There was nobody outside that time of the

morning. Yet I was convinced about the voice and looked out the window, I then looked under

the bed, in the cupboard, nothing. I realized I must have been dreaming, so I lay back under

the covers. By now, I was awake; nevertheless I shut my eyes to force myself to sleep. With my

eyes shut, I sensed a person in the centre of my room and then in a very clear voice, I heard my

name; ―KEVIN‖. I froze with fear for what seemed like minutes, drew the blanked for

protection and hoped that whatever this was would end soon. Nevertheless, a warm sensation

came over me and a real peace settled down upon me. Then as if I was expecting it, an audible

voice, as distinct as ever, told me to leave my job and follow Jesus Christ. I jumped out of bed,

ran out the room, and didn‘t stop running till I was exhausted. Then on my way home, I

reminded myself that I had left the door to my apartment open. Hopefully, by the time I got

back the ghost would have left. When I got back, I went straight to bed and like a child, forced

myself to sleep. For sure, the voice was back, I tried to be very bold and said; ―if that is you

God, I promise, I will leave my work and follow You.‖ Unquestionably, the voice had left, and

I fell asleep.

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The follow day, been a Sunday, yet without the sun. Although it was overcast and grey outside,

it felt like the most beautiful day of my life. All my senses came alive and all I wanted to do was

sing. My biggest desire for the day was to know one Bible verse and somehow, I was trying to

match up John 3:16 that it would make common sense. I kept the previous evening experience

to myself, however could not stop thinking about it. As the time ticked by, Monday was coming

up, and with it surfaced fear from within. How can I leave my job, it is my only supply of

income to live by? My own words began to haunt me, throughout the day, till Monday

morning finally came. I was on my way to work, when I pumped into a youth group leader at

the bus stop in Cape Town. The first to share in confidence with, after sharing my experience

with the youth leader, I was amaized at his response. ―Whatever you do, do not leave your

job!‖ Now, I was even more confused, seized the first bus, and went to work. Nonetheless, my

inner witness got the better of me and I went to see the head foreman for his advice. After

telling him in detail what happened, he opened the Yellow Pages to where the churches were,

he placed the phone in front of me and said.



―Pick for yourself a church, and tell them!‖



I closed my eyes, took the pen in mid air, twirled it once or twice and allowed it to land where

it may. Now, the foreman said, ―phone that number, and tell them your story!‖ The phone

rang and Pastor Norman answered it.



As I spoke to him, I knew I was in God' plane. The Pastor asked if I could see him straight

away. I was then escorted to the Boss; I told my boss what had happened. In his Jewish tone,

he responded.



"If you leave now, you resign now!"



I resigned that very minute, not knowing, how this will all pan out. I found the Baptist Pastors

house in Milnerton and before I could completely tell him my story, he told me that the Lord

had prepare him to clean the caravan and the Lord told him that a young man will move in

that very day. I was a strong willed street child and had to start a new life at the age of 21,

nonetheless, it was the best 2 year discipleship course, ever.



It is a pleasure to share my story; nevertheless, I had many issues to deal with therefore a part

of me has been very difficult for me to share. I'm a private guy, which keeps very much to

himself. I have a tenancy to forget my own hidden secrets, even my wife gets pits and pieces as

I remember them. However, I need to share it, so that you can continuously pray for me.



My Testimony just continues.



‗Lord, I Cannot, But You Can!‘



"For it is God who works in you both to will and to do for His good pleasure."

Philippians 2:13



According to Revelation 12:11, God urges us to share our testimony. Although I thought I did.

Now God said, share the things that are not easy to share, because I want my people to know,

that although we workout our Salvation. It is still by Grace that we have been saved through

faith, and not by our intellect, nor by our position or our good works.



Because we are not our own, and because we were bought with a price, we belong to God to do





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as He pleases and because we are the clay, our Potter, God works in us to do His WILL

according to His plan and for His good pleasure.



Have you ever tried to break a bad habit on your own? You probably find that when you tried

to stop it by sheer willpower, you saw improvement for a while, and then ended at square one

again, worse off in some cases, you find yourself hinging on the very thing that you were trying

not to do. And your condition ends up embarrassing before you started your ―I‘m going to

quit‖ program!



The changes were temporary because it was you doing it.



I was once a keen artistic pornography onlooker that fixated himself on Teen porn. Yes, I'm

artistic and made that sound good, but I cried to the Lord several times a week, then tried

everything in my strength, till one day I said. "Lord you are in control of this body, you change

it!"



When I understood God‘s grace, I told God, ―I'm your son, I'm NOT an illegitimate child and

I know you are molding me into the likeness of Jesus Christ your first Son. I realized that I

cannot stop watching porn, but You can break my habit, Lord.‖ And slowly but surly porn

became less interesting.



Because I was told a Christian should be rich and I was always poorer than most. I felt the

need to gamble, thinking I would be made rich through the world system. When I understood

that I have no rights over my bank balance, I quit worrying about tomorrow. "I trust You,

Lord, I trust You. I am still righteous because of Jesus‘ blood, I trust You. It is entirely You

God and none of me! It is all by Your grace.‖ I will lose all the desire to sin. That is true

transformation.

When you receive the grace of God to do for you what you cannot do, you will experience

effortless and permanent change on the inside, which in turn changes your actions on the

outside. The Bible tells us that God works in us to give us both the will and ability to perform

what He desires. It is God who removes the old "want to" and gives us new ones. And He even

gives us the power to carry them out!



Look to His grace to do what you cannot do. Say, ―Lord, this is Your body, I cannot, but You

can!‖ Then, what you experience will not merely be behavior modification, but true and lasting

inward transformation!



We know it is the same faith that got Peter to walk on the water, yet when he sank as a result

of fear, Jesus Christ was there to raise him back up. Although the Bible does not say; I believe

Jesus and Peter walked back to the boat and whilst they are walking back, Jesus may have

said; "Peter; I know that those around you, may tease you from time to time, maybe even

torment you because of me, but I tell you, trust Me, I can make your dreams come true."



I'm adding this because an extremely high percentage of the Church have still not yet grasped

the depth of Christ blood. He has cleansed us of all unrighteousness!





"If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from

ALL unrighteousness." 1 John 1:9 In fact, God is so satisfied with His Son‘s perfect work that

He says to you today; ―Their sins and lawless acts, I will remember no more.‖ Hebrews 10:17



And if God does not remember them, why would He punish you for them?

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Let us just stop and take that all in for awhile. Did you not know the Prophets of old longed to

look into this truth. Did you not know the weakest, the most immature, the most inadequate

Christian today is greater than every person in the Old Testament. Yes they are greater than

Abraham, Moses, David, Solomon and Elijah! This is what Jesus Christ has to tell you and I.





"Truly I tell you, among those born of women there has not risen anyone greater than John

the Baptist; yet whoever is least in the kingdom of heaven is greater than he." Matthew 11:11



My friends and family, we who belong to this kingdom, we have ―redemption through His

blood, the forgiveness of sins, according to the riches of His grace‖. Because Jesus‘ work is

complete, all our sins have been completely forgiven. And complete forgiveness means that the

penalties for our sins can no longer fall on you and me because they had already fallen on

Jesus at the cross. (Isaiah 53:5)



So don‘t think for one moment that God is punishing you for some sin just because something

bad happened to you. Why do you think the Bible says; "You, dear children, are from God

and have overcome them, because the one who is in you is greater than the one who is in the

world." 1 John 4:4 or "If our hearts condemn us, we know that God is greater than our hearts,

and he knows everything." 1 John 3:20





If the entire Church could grasp these truths, satan would have his tail between his legs and

instead of the demons saying I know Jesus Christ and I know Paul (Acts 19:15) they should be

saying, I know James, Anne, Trevor, Lee-roy, Joe, Kevin, Sue, Chris, Theresa, Charl, Mary,

Arthur, Cheryl, David, Doris, Peter, Dylan, Marlin, Pam, Jacque, Billy and (................). If only

we know and if only we believe.



I, Kevin Rich - live by faith and not by sight, I trust my Father in heaven, not the tree of

knowledge on earth. My foundation is Jesus Christ and my strength is the Holy Spirit.



My story begins one day, in the early months of 1990, I received a vision, which I then and

even more so now, believed was extraordinary. Before I tell you my story, let me give you a

sneak preview of my own life. I was born into an abusive, alcoholic, sub standard world, with a

level set for me, that had I followed, would have led me into the darkest dwelling of my soul.

Therefore, let me just give credit where credit is due, the God of the Bible has never changed

to this day. He still employs some that has little or no earthly worth, for his own purposes.



Why does God elect the weak to do his bidding? I‘m not too sure we like the answer, but I

assume it‘s because the strong are not always willing and available. The best way to explain the

picture of God is to imagine the puzzle pieces, without a picture. We first experience God

through Jesus Christ, and then we believe it to be true. God challenges us and we put our trust

in Him and the results speak for themselves. Another description of faith can be seen in the

dark, you drive at night and all you can see is 100 metres in front of you, only when you get

closer to the city do you experience more light, so it is in the spirit. It sounds that simple and

some of us who were weak and feeble are part of that puzzle or set off on that journey, but

believe me, without faith it is impossible to meet God‘ requirements. Now, back to 1990, I saw

myself in this vision standing on the corner of St. Georges Mall, a very busy thoroughfare of

Cape Town. Next to me I had a pile of books stacked, ready to be handed out. Then I saw

myself handing these books out to the people passing by.

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In my vision I saw various curios readers take an interest in this book. I watched people read it

as my spirit followed them. Some read it on the bus; some read it on the train, there were even

a few reading it whilst walking and there was one person reading and driving her vehicle at the

same time (not something I would recommend). Then I clearly saw a huge fellow (or shall I be

more specific, a well-known figure) make such a spectacle of himself. In spite of his eminence

stature, I saw the angels jump and dance before the Lord with joy. Although he is a prominent

figure, he fell on his knees and started crying out loud. He soon drew attention to himself while

reading the book I had handed out. The tears of his soul had fallen on the pages, as if he had

experienced something out of the novel he was reading. Needless to say, this attracted the

crowd to me. They demanded the book from me; so much so, I couldn‘t keep up with the pace.

Unmistakably, I needed helpers as the demand became too much for me. My spirit continues

to follow these people to their various homes.

My - my, there were many crying as they were reading this book. Then I saw myself look at

this book for the first time. That was strange I thought, very strange…



‗My name is on the cover?‘

‗My name is on the cover?‘

‗My name is on the cover?‘



I then turned to the Almighty and said.



―This is impossible, I cannot write?‖



You see, I cannot spell and I cannot read properly.



How then can I write a book?



My argument was long and hard with the Sovereign Lord.



―I‘m dyslexic?‖ and on and on I go.



I then sought advice from leaders, then from my family and friends. Other than my wife,

Cheryl who supported me throughout my venture and a few close friends, all the others proved

fruitless. The only encouragement I got, was a blank stare. Those that knew me must have

thought I was losing it. Nonetheless, I continued to see visions relating to the book. Then I

turned to my Lord once again, and said.



―I will write this book on one condition, you supply me with a computer?‖



This ‗book thing‘ was starting to scare me, when the answer came the following day.



―What now, can I, should I, must I back out now?‖



I gave it some thought, and then started writing, with the thought that a book will never

take form. So from that day onward, my family and I have lived a very unusual lifestyle, filled

with pain and hardship - which has caused me to write in the way I have. Over the past years

whilst writing, I have been at times angry with God, I have been irritated at some Christians

and I have been disheartened with our lot. One thing is for sure, throughout this time my

family and I understood the meaning of the word, faith.







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Have you ever felt like there‘s a thief out there trying to destroy your life, to the point

that even the food in your stomach is not safe? When your need becomes so great you are

willing to die or sell your soul, then your search for help will come at a price. My question is a

simple one; should man pay the price, or are we willing to allow God to pay the price for us?



It reminds me of our own struggle.



When our electricity was cut off, I could see the pain in the men that turned it off.

When our furniture was repossessed, I could see the pain in the men that collected it.

When we let the dogs loose so they could scavenge for themselves, I could see the pain in the

neighbours who fed them.

When the bank repossessed our home, I could see the pain in the Auctioneers that auctioned it

off.

When I was locked up in jail, because I did not have sufficient money to pay a small traffic

fine; I could see the pain of the other prisoners, who new I didn‘t belong there.



I was reminded that in this world you would have trouble, but to take heart my saviour has

overcome this world. John 16:33. I don‘t claim to be more than a humble pawn in this life‘s

game of worldly chess, verses spiritual chess; however, the Holy Spirit is the hand that moves

me. God did not take my food, nor my electricity, nor my furniture, nor the house, nor my

dignity, he only allowed me and my household to live, so that I could write this book.



Let me stress this point, Jesus said.



―I came to give life [to everyone] in abundance‖.



I was chosen to be a pawn, but you my friend can choose to be any saintly champion, as long as

you recognise and trust your Master.



What is God trying to say to us and what is the reason for this novel?



In my mind I wondered what God is trying to tell us, and what is it that we are lacking

from knowing Him? I want you to know from the world‘s point of view, I am not in anyway

qualified to say some of the things I‘ve written. I, in the way I conduct my life, am guilty before

a Holy and Just God and do not deserve eternal life. I‘m no angel and even my Christian walk

needs much to be desired, but my faith is my strength. My faith rests not upon what I am, or

shall be, or feel, or know. However, my faith rests in what Christ is, in what He has done and

in what He is doing through me now.



Why does God use sinners like myself? I don‘t know, it may be because I accepted the

Bible as without error. I realise it was impossible to enter heaven on my own merit. I chose to

accept my defeat and put my trust unequivocally in God. By the way, I am absolutely sure the

devil cannot stop God using

―a junky‖,

―a druggy‖,

―a prostitute‖, or

―the worst kind of Satanist‖ from doing His will.



As a result I am more than convinced that is why the devil will keep as many blinded

and spiritually deaf till the last day. I‘m telling you the devil is doing a very good job. Be that

as it is, just maybe God wants to use his wisdom and power through someone like you. So that

the world will stop in it‘s busy tracks and think - think - think! Divine grace can make the

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coward brave and the touch of his, the Holy Spirit‘ presence will increase your faith. The

Spirit of God is often pleased, to witness with our spirit of the love of Jesus. He takes of the

things of heaven and reveals them to our heart. Yet strangely no voice is heard from the

clouds, no vision is seen in the storm, but for those whom he loves, we have a testimony more

sure than the elements can exhibit.



If the Holy Spirit has challenged you and you are prepared to help share the Gospel, I

am trusting God for a million copies of this book to be given away. You can help, firstly and

most importantly, by prayer. Pray earnestly for; for me to love the world as Jesus loved us.

For Wisdom and knowledge and for health and a sound mind for our leaders. For the fall of

satanic and cultic worship amongst leaders, including church leaders who fall under very

powerful secret organisations. For total healing, physical and spiritual for our nation. For

healing in all areas of my own life and the lives of my family. For a new and faster printing

process. For finances to print a million books or more. For the right Publisher to publish the

―The heart of the caterpillar‖. For a Publisher to publish two further books, one for children

and one for teenagers. For a vehicle with a trailer to transport books throughout Africa. For

helpers to print, distribute and perform admin, ect. For protection from evil forces against my

family and the teams that God has prepared and pray also for our needs to be met, physically

and spiritually. But mostly, pray for the salvation of the Gospel of Jesus Christ to thousands of

new converted soldiers. Pray for protection and growth in their lives and pray that God gives

me new goals to enlarge His territory. If I can please urge you for one more request, please do

not forget to pray and to pray in the name of Jesus Christ. My details are at the back if God

leads you to help us.



This world is built on two basic foundations, knowledge and fear. The minute you have

wisdom it is time to retire, so that the young and knowledgeable can improve it. Why then has

the world presented guilt, fear and anger? It is simple, to cancel out faith. Consequently, faith

and wisdom will remain undesirable as long as the world is intact. For us to accept God‘s

Word, we must first have wisdom, then faith. As a result thereof we need to retire our spirit

and simply believe. By the way - good looks, knowledge and wealth will disappear, but we

won‘t; neither will the Word of Jesus Christ!



At times I see things that are photographed in my mind. Some things I will share,

others I‘ll keep to myself. Therefore, I had to hold onto the dream that I could write a novel,

without having prior experience, I had to rely on faith alone. Now that the reality of this book

is in sight, God has shown me a picture of how this book will market itself. Firstly, the big man

that broke down in my vision is a very important person, maybe even a president of a country

or a well-known figure. He or she will open the door to the world and this book will accelerate

through the heart of mankind rapidly. I may sound confident, but I am trembling because

what I see after that is very difficult for me to accept. You think the devil is going to sit on his

laurels and allow this to continue. This much I can tell you, the devils plans are going to

backfire in a big way.



God drew a picture in my mind of the church (the body of Christ); we have tried to

reach out to family, friends and associates to share the Gospel. God commands his sons and

daughters to share the doctrine of Grace throughout the world. This has become for many of

us not only fruitless, but in most cases it has caused a sour division and in some instances it has

left scars of tremendous pain. This however, is understandable as the spirit is fresh and the

flesh is constantly decaying. A combination that will always be at war with each other. The

results are sad, as most Christians have become complacent. The church has become inward

focused and has discarded the Great Commission. The true believer longs to heed to the will of

God, nevertheless the flesh has become so feeble - we have bound ourselves to

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―me‖,

―my family‖

and ―my little church‖.



The founder of fear begins with me, myself and I. Firstly a wall is build around our

house, then we allow fear to enter in, and then the storms of life that is generally chaotic

outside, is just as destructive inside. The truth of the matter is, our souls are desperately

longing to know the true God personally and have a relationship with Him. Therefore, [a true

friend], whom for the purpose of sharing the Gospel with you, may have given this book to

you. I‘m aware that the demonic realm has equally exercised his doctrine of Christ to many,

the ―so called misrepresented gospel‖ and as a result many have either lost interest or lost

hope.



This is evident in a Court of law, where many would place their hand on the Bible and

swear under oath, yet for most they know not what is contained in the Word of God. None,

other than the Holy Spirit is out to convict, to convert and to complete you. This story you have

just read cannot be true in its content, therefore it is only an agent to share the Gospel with

you, without a heated debate. It is true to say that Jesus, ―the Messiah‖ could not come in this

day and age, and in the way he did two thousand years ago.



Let us look at a reasonable argument. Daniel had already prophesied that the Anointed

One (the Messiah) will be ―cut off‖ (die a cruel death), thereafter, (take note, thereafter the

Messiah‘ death) the city, Jerusalem and the Sanctuary, the Temple will be destroyed. This took

place around seventy years after Jesus‘ birth and Jesus Christ only lived for thirty-three years.

Therefore, after David‘s death and before the destruction of Jerusalem and the Temple, the

Messiah came. Billions of people of all nations are of the same opinion, that only Jesus Christ

fills the shoes of the Messiah. Unless you can show me otherwise, I believe Jesus Christ is the

Messiah. If this book has changed your thinking and you wish someone to counsel with you, fill

in the comments form and state that you would like to see a counselor and post it to

Independent Living Association‘s office.



I‘m aware that this ―so called chapter‖ is indeed the introduction and therefore should

be structured in the beginning. However, for many the slightest thought of the Gospel would

be discarded, and an opportunity for truth would be tossed to the wind. THIS BOOK IS NOT

THE WORD OF GOD; it is merely a thought provoking story that will help some understand

the Gospel of Jesus Christ. The Word of God is the biggest rock ever thrown at the devil than

any other, however the most powerful weapon to destroy the devil is the death and

resurrection of Christ, no – no there‘s more, the most deadly armour against the devil is the

Holy Spirit. Let me try and answer some questions you may be thinking about.









---§§§---









Who is God, what is God and where is God?



When this question was asked of me, my mind went into a flat spin.

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―Who is God?‖



All I could think of at the time was. He is the creator of the world.



―What is God and where is God?‖



These questions were far to advance for my puny brain. Is there even a God out there?

To some, even the very intellectual mind begins to boggle at the thought. Who created

everything, the big bang, and then who created the big bang? You think of anything that is

created, including God and my question will be the same, who created it? Therefore there

must be a God who not only created everything, but also created Himself. How you may ask? I

feel like a caterpillar, I haven‘t the foggiest.



―What is God like?‖



As a simple student and after much thought I tried to translate the question differently.



―What is a insect like in comparison to a man?‖



Let‘s go back to the life of a caterpillar and let us assume the caterpillar can understand

a language and the caterpillars were asked.



―What is man like?‖



―How will caterpillars be able to answer such a question?‖



On the other hand how does a man communicate to a caterpillar and try and explain

who he is? Even the most vigorous and daring mind is unable to imagine what God is like. The

only means of a God knowledge that we have is found in the Word of God, the ‗Bible‘.



The Word of God says that God is a Spirit, but it also states that man was made in the

image and likeness of God. This does not mean we were made in the exact image and likeness

of God. We are not a replica of God. If we imagine God in our image, then we bring God down

to our level and make an idol out of who God is? By doing so we disintegrate the foundation of

what God is. What it does mean? The Spirit of God was inside Adam and Eve. When they

sinned, the key to the Spirit of God was removed from them and they became spiritually dead.



Because we broke that relationship with God, the desire to amend it is real, just look at

all the types of religions we have! As a God fearing man, I too notice that in the Bible, the God

of the Word also wants to renew the relationship between man and Himself.



A God who is eternal, self-existent, immutable, omnipotent, omniscient, omnipresent,

Holy, righteous, sovereign and a God of perfect love, faithfulness, kindness, goodness,

abounding in mercy, grace and compassion who has a desire to reach mankind. This would be

as difficult as a man trying to reach all the caterpillars of the world. The only way that a man

can teach, protect and help the poor caterpillar to understand the mind of man is to become a

caterpillar himself.



Even if this is possible, imagine the kind of problems you will have. How does a man try

and explain to a caterpillar that he is a man when he looks like a caterpillar. How does he

explain what man is like? Having read the Bible, it is clear that Jesus Christ, is the son of God.

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“For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him will not

perish, but have everlasting life.” (John 3:16)



“I am the good shepherd: the good shepherd gives his life for the sheep”. (John 10:11)



“I am the light of the world: he that follows me shall not walk in darkness, but shall have the light

of life”. (John 8:12)



“I am the way, the truth, and the life: no man comes to the Father, but by me.” (John 14:6)



“I am the resurrection, and the life”. (John 11:25)



“I and my Father are one”. (John:10:30)



“I am the bread of life”. (John 6:35)



“My Father, which gave them to me, is greater than all; and no man is able to pluck them out of

my Father's hand”. (John 10:29)



“If the Son shall make you free, you shall be free indeed.” (John 8:36)



No wander the Jewish leaders wanted Jesus dead, if I lived amongst them in their day, I

would more than likely be no different. These are some of the confessions of the Word of God.

Because our Lord is the same yesterday and today and forever will be the same. All of the

attributes of God that was applicable in the Bible are applicable to us today. A reminder that

the Bible states that



‗God is Spirit‘



and when Jesus Christ left this world, the Spirit of God came to continue to do the will of God

through the person, the ‗Holy Spirit‘. Makes you think doesn‘t it.



Our Lord is forever true. All of the characteristics of God that was applicable in the

Bible are relevant to me today. However, the righteousness and the mercifulness of God are

two of the attributes of God that has become meaningful to me. The fact that God is righteous

doesn‘t fit well with the world at all, in fact with all honesty; it does not fit with my flesh either.

It is like oil and water, what God is, we aren‘t. We are so unrighteous that even the darkness

isn‘t dark enough for us to practice our evil deeds. As it is written in Romans Ch 3:10-18.



“There is none righteous, no, not one. No one understands and there is no one that seeks after

God. We have gone out of our way to do evil, we have together become unprofitable to God, there

is no one that does good, no, not one. Our throat is an open sepulcher with our tongues being

used for deceit; the poison of vipers is under our lips. Our mouths are full of cursing and

bitterness. Our feet are swift to shed blood. Destruction and misery is our way and the way of

peace we have not known. There is no fear of God before our eyes.”



Nevertheless, knowing what we know and doing what we do, does not give us the right to seek

after God in some kind of religious act that will help us score brownie points with Him.



“A man‟s righteous acts are as filthy rags in my sight.”

Says the Lord in Isaiah 64:6.

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To acknowledge one thing, is to acknowledge that we did nothing to attain any kind of

righteousness at all from God. Once we have acknowledged that God did it all. That it is by

His mercy that we are rescued from a guaranteed spiritual death, through his grace. This is

not by any kind of spiritual work we have done. Therefore, we can now praise and worship

Him, and not pat ourselves. It is hard to believe that every good work that was ever done to

glorify and impress God or even to win favour in his sight as a religion or not, is of no value to

them or God. In spite of everything I said God has won our favour through the life of His one

and only son, Christ Jesus who broke through to the heart of man and gave us hope. God must

have loved us very much to allow every sin known under the sun, to fall onto the life of his own

Spirit. Think about it.



―What is God?‖



―God is Spirit.‖



Then God sent His own Spirit down to the earth to a virgin girl of our making and she

covered this Spirit with her own flesh and named the human child, Jesus Christ, the son of

man. As a result of God, His wonderful mercy is inside the Lord Jesus Christ by means of the

Holy Spirit. Therefore, inside the flesh of Jesus Christ‘s human body, is God. I am sure this

was the same Spirit that was inside Adam and Eve, that is why the Bible states, ―man was

made in the image and likeness of God‖ Gen 1:27. Regardless of all the power that God is, we

to this very day debate about the Trinity, as if we have the power to decide whether God‘s

Holy Spirit can never be divided or multiplied.



“Now the birth of Jesus Christ came about. When his mother Mary was pledged to be married to

Joseph, but before they came together, she was found to be with child through the Holy Spirit.”

Matthew 1:18.



My sole reason for writing this book is to get people to think and not to be dogmatic

about religion. I do not support the Qur‘an to the Bible because the Bible makes it clear that to

add or subtract holds a hefty penalty according to Revelation 22:18. Yet strangely even the

Qur‘an is in an agreement that Jesus Christ is the Messiah, (Anointed One) and that God put

His Holy Spirit into a Virgin, Mary. Now the only reason I‘m making this statement is because

the Qur‘an itself is revealing that God through His Holy Spirit is in Christ Jesus.



―O ye people of the Book! do not exceed in your religion, nor say against God aught save the

truth. The Messiah, Jesus the son of Mary, is but the apostle of God and His Word, which He

cast into Mary and a Spirit from Him; believe then in God and His apostles, and say not

‗Three.‘ Have done! it were better for you. God is only one God, celebrated be His praise that

He should beget a Son! His is what is in the heavens and what is in the earth and God sufficeth

for a guardian.‖

―When God said, ‗O Jesus, son of Mary! remember my favours towards thee and towards thy

mother, when I aided thee with the Holy Ghost, till thou didst speak to men in the cradle and

when grown up.‖



―We gave Moses the Book and we followed him up with other apostles, and we gave Jesus the

son of Mary manifest signs and aided him with the Holy Spirit.‖



―These apostles have we preferred one of them above another. Of them is one to whom God

spake; and we have raised some of them degrees; and we have given Jesus the son of Mary

manifest signs, and strengthened him by the Holy Spirit. And, did God please, those who came

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after them would not have fought after there came to them manifest signs. But they did

disagree, and of them are some who believe, and of them some who misbelieve, but, did God

please, they would not have fought, for God does what He will.‖



―When the angel said, ‗O Mary! verily, God gives thee the glad tidings of a Word from Him;

his name shall be the Messiah Jesus the son of Mary, regarded in this world and the next and

of those whose place is nigh to God. And he shall speak to people in his cradle, and when

grown up, and shall be among the righteous.‘ She said, ‗Lord! how can I have a son, when man

has not yet touched me?‘ He said, ‗Thus God creates what He pleaseth. When He decrees a

matter He only says BE and it is; and He will teach him the Book, and wisdom, and the law,

and the gospel, and he shall be a prophet to the people of Israel (saying), that I have come to

you, with a sign from God......‖

(Copied from ―The deluxe Multimedia - COSMI Software.‖)



There is without a doubt a genuine misunderstanding about the deity of God. Even some

Christians fail to see the simple truth about the nature of God.



God is one Spirit, true!



That one Spirit is eternal, true!



That one Spirit is self-existent, true!



That one Spirit is immutable, (unchanging), true!



That one Spirit is omnipotent (all powerful), true!



That one Spirit is omniscient, (has all knowledge), true!



That one Spirit is omnipresent, (present everywhere), true!



That one Spirit is Holy, righteous, sovereign and a God of perfect love, faithfulness, kindness,

goodness, abounding in mercy, grace and compassion who has a desire to reach mankind, true!



Can God, the Holy Spirit be in seven times seventy trillion different places, including inside the

Lord Jesus Christ at the same time, true.



God is not three Gods!



God is one Spirit with a manifestation of a parent of the Spirit to a son of the same Spirit to

billions of believers of the same Spirit. ―How many Gods do we have now?‖ Can you see how

simple this is? It is far easier for me to understand the Bible than for me to convert a

caterpillar in believing that one day, he will become a butterfly.









---§§§---









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Who is Jesus Christ exactly?



―Was he only a man?‖



We would have to say without a doubt yes, however there are some things that do not

add up! Was he born of a natural birth?



―No, how can a virgin receive the seed of God?‖



―Why all the controversy, concerning his birth?‖



―Joseph taking Mary to be his wife knowing she is with child, and knowing this is not his

child?‖



―Caesar Augustus issuing a decree that a census is taken of the entire Roman world.‖



―The wise men searching for a king and finding him in a barn?‖



―Why the killing of all baby boys under the age of two? Was this in the hope of killing Jesus

Christ?‖



―Who is Jesus Christ exactly?‖



―Was he then not a prophet?‖



Again most would have to say yes. However, there are a few things that tickle my brain!

For example this man did things that no other prophet had ever done. Although the miracles

he did were spectacular, it is not the miracles that influence my thinking of him as a prophet. It

is what Jesus said that impacts my thinking.



―What did he say?‖



In a nutshell Jesus said,



―I will take away the sin of the world, and then added, whoever believes in me will live with me

forever.‖



On occasions the people wanted to kill Jesus because he made himself equal to God. It matters

not what our background, culture, religion or creed is, and that statement affects us all.



―Why?‖



Because ‗who‘ can forgive sin?



According to the Scripture, only God can forgive man and take away his sin?



What did Jesus do that should make us think differently about him? He assigned the new

covenant to himself by becoming the perfect lamb to be slaughtered for the price of sin. Now

that is a mouthful and needs an explanation. Every Jew will tell you that God made an oath, a

covenant with Abram. God said to Abram.

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―I have made you a father of many nations‖ Gen. 17 and then God confirmed his covenant

with Sarah, his wife, and says.



―I will bless her so that she will be the mother of nation[s].‖ Gen. 17

(Notice the [s] in nations)



Now, to me that does not make sense, because nations were already established and a woman

cannot become the mother of more than one nation. This would mean that besides the Jewish

nation other nations would be part of God‘s covenant. But for this to happen it has to be a

spiritual transformation and not a physical understanding. At that time, the sin of Abraham‘s

children was placed on an animal and for a year, according to scripture they were free of sin. I

said it is a spiritual transformation and not a physical understanding. Because the Jews sinned

even more as a result of the grace given them.



I believe that the covenant would be fulfilled through the bloodline of Abraham, and that it is

the covenant that would rescue all nations of their sin. This is found in none other than Jesus

Christ because he is the final sacrifice for the sin of all nations and as a result this would

complete the covenant. I believe the reason why mankind would like to pay the price for their

own behaviour, or they would establish a Court to react according to the behaviour of others.

The thought of an animal or even a man paying the price for their sinful conduct is outrageous

and from the dark ages. Be that as it may, very foolish to the devil and the world indeed,

however that is the Gospel. I say foolishness to the devil, because had he known the plans of

God, his plan of action would have changed.



―Who is Jesus Christ exactly?‖



―Was he then an angel?‖



Now I am about to stand on many a religious infrastructure and awaken a thinking in my own

mind that would establish the truth of the Word. I have several obstacles with the thought that

Jesus could be an angel. Firstly, the image and likeness of an angel verses that of Jesus. A verse

in Genesis that has caused immense problems for those who don‘t believe that Jesus is part of

the Godhead is found in the twenty-sixth verse of chapter one.



―Then God said,



‗Let us make man in our image, in our likeness.‘‖



―I and the father are one.‖ John 10:30, can now be understood.



This gives us insight into the fact that God is more than one personality. Many would argue

and say that when God said.



―Let us‖.



He had in mind all the angels? A quick thought; if this were the case then the angels would

have been made in Gods image and likeness as well. Therefore, we should be in the same image

and likeness as angels, and seeing that we fell into a sinful nature, we should be in the same

image and likeness as demons? We were made in Gods image according to verse twenty-seven.

Take note; we were never made in the image of an ape nor an ape like man, yet some have

made this philosophy more important than the Word of God.

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I do believe that angels and demons appear in the form of humans from time to time. However,

they appeared in the form of a man to do the will of God and as a result they are not and never

will be in the spiritual image or likeness of the Godhead. I am making some bold statements

and they need answers.



For my second reason, according to the scripture, [Colossians 1:16] Jesus Christ created the

angels.



“For by him (Jesus) all things were created, things in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible,

whether thrones or powers or rulers or authorities, all things were created by him and for him. He

is before all things, and in him all things hold together.”



How then can the created be equal to the Creator?



For my third reason, the scripture states that Jesus was made a little lower than the angels to

bring those who believe above the angels. According to the first letter to the Corinthians,

chapter six and verse three states.



―Do you not know that we (Believers) will judge angels?‖



The point I want to labour is that if Jesus is only an angel, then the Word informs me that

Christians will be greater than Jesus! Who of you would like to make a judgment over the life

of Jesus Christ?



For my forth reason, if Jesus was only an angel, why did he allow other angels to worship him?



While Satan, is tempting Jesus after forty days and nights of fasting in the desert, the tempter

(Satan) is quick to play his role. Doing what he does best and still does today, he tempts Jesus

with food, fame and fortune. Read Matthew 4:1-11. All he eagerly wanted was that Jesus

would worship him. Now Jesus makes a thought provoking statement.



―Worship the Lord your God and serve him only.‖



I see a hour sermon in that one statement, but more than that I notice that only God is to be

worshipped. What reprograms my mind is the fact that Hebrews chapter one, verses five to

eleven and specially verses six, states.



―Let all God‘s angels worship him.‖



By him they refer to Jesus Christ.



For my fifth reason, if Jesus was only an angel, why did he give eternal life when God had

already pronounced the death of man. In the second chapter of Genesis before man had

disobeyed God. God said,



―You must not eat of the tree of knowledge of good and evil, for when you eat of it (as if he

knew they were going to beforehand) you will surely die.‖



By the way that little word,



―when.‖

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Tells me that God knew everything about a light bulb, the atomic bomb, the fax machine, cell

phones and the Internet, and who knows what else. How much more did he not know about the

fall of man, or more importantly, the distance between you and Him.



If God knew we were going to fall into a trap through our own greed, he would also know that

we would accept his way of salvation, otherwise what was the point? If Jesus were an angel, I

would blast a hole through the Bible when Jesus in his own words states.



―I give them eternal life and they shall never perish; no one can snatch them out of my hand.

My Father, who has given them to me, is greater than all; no one can snatch them out of my

Father‘s hand, I and the Father are one.‖



An angel taking over the role of God or ―a God‖ is preposterous, as we will see in the final

conclusion.



For my final reason of obtaining accuracy and understanding fairness, if Jesus was only an

angel, why did he not get the same or even more drastic punishment than his counterpart,

Lucifer? The Word of God states that no sin was found in Jesus, (Hebrews 4: 15). Yet he made

some radical declarations and many like these,



“I am the light of the world.” John 8:12.



“Gave us the right to become children of God” John 8:12;



And then makes himself equal to God. After the Pharisees challenged him.



―Where is your Father?‖



―You do not know me or my Father.‖



By this he meant God the Father, now take note how Jesus aligns himself in the next statement.



―If you know me you will know my Father also.‖



My niggling question has been and always will be.



―Why did, if Jesus was only an angel, why did God not punish Jesus like he did Lucifer, the

son of the morning star?‖



He was the highest of all angelic creatures and was called Cherubim, the angel that fell,

(Ezekiel 28:12-19). You see Lucifer or Satan is the fallen angel, because he wanted to be like

the highest God, Isaiah chapter fourteen. Would not God be obligated to punish Jesus in the

same manner? Five times, Lucifer or Satan said in his heart the words



―I will‖, Isaiah 14:13-14.



―I will ascend to heaven, I will raise my throne above the stars of God, I will sit enthroned on

the mount of assembly, on the utmost heights of the sacred mountain. I will ascend above the

tops of the clouds; I will make myself like the Most High.



I will...

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I will...

I will...

I will...

I will... now, Jesus in all his knowledge of the scripture makes statements like this, ―I am‖.



This phrase ―I am‖ was given by none other than God himself in Exodus chapter three and

verse fourteen. Now according to the eighth chapter of John‘s Gospel it reads,



―But he (Jesus) continued, ‗you are from below, I am from above. You are from this world; I

am not of this world. I told you that you would die in your sins, if you do not believe that I am

[the one I claim to be], you will indeed die in your sins.‘

‗I tell you the truth‘ Jesus answered, ‗before Abraham was born, I am!‘ At this, they picked up

stones to stone him, but Jesus hid himself, slipping away from the temple grounds.‖



According to the thirteenth chapter of John‘s Gospel and verse nineteen, it reads,



―I am telling you now before it happens, so that when it does happen you will believe that I am

he.‖



Not only did he give himself the title



―I am‖



which when translated is



―Ego Eimi‖



A name for ―Yahweh‖, in other words, ―I am‖ a name for God. Therefore, ―I am‖ a name for

God, has overcome ―I will‖ by his divine nature on the cross.



What a comparison Lucifer created sin, and as a result we became sinners. Now on the other

hand, Jesus who is without sin became sin for us, so that you and I can be without sin, spotless

before God our Father. I don‘t know how that works, but I do know that even the angels long

to look into these things, (1 Peter 1:12). Jesus is not an angel, as many would claim him to be.



“For if God did not spare angels when they sinned, but sent them to hell...” 2 Peter 2:4, how

much more has He not tolerated the sin of man? Doesn‘t that include all of us?









---§§§---









I‘m not to sure about you, but my next thought is a daunting one, and needs some serious

attention.



―Can Jesus be a second God?‖







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Now that I have your attention, I hope we can seriously understand the truth of the

Word of God. In regards to the thought.



―Can Jesus be a second God?‖



I stumbled upon a scripture text that changed my thinking, to the point that I will never be the

same again. Reading from the New World Translation of the Holy Scriptures, it reads.



“You are my witnesses, is the utterance of Jehovah, „even my servant whom I have chosen, in

order that you may know and have faith in me, and that you may understand that I am the same

One. Before me there was no God formed and after me there continued to be none. I - I am

Jehovah, and besides me there is no saviour.‟”



This is according to the forty third chapter of Isaiah and verses ten and eleven. Now

either the Bible is a historical fantasy and contains some strange ideas, and the New Testament

is a lot of hogwash or Jesus is whom he claims to be and the Word of God is true. These

questions will have to arise and give an account.



How is it possible to have two ―Saviours‖?

How is it possible to have two ―Creators‖?

How is it possible to have two ―Firsts and Lasts‖ and two ―Alphas and Omegas‖?

How is it possible to have two ―Judges‖?

How is it possible to have two ―Lord of lords‖?

How is it possible to have two ―I am‘‖?



How is it possible to have two ―Gods‖ when the Bible only talks about one God? I‘m a simple

man with a simple philosophy, either the Bible is inaccurate or Jesus and God are one and the

same person.









---§§§---









How do we know that Christianity is the only way into heaven?



Can Islam be the only way into heaven?



Islam would love to prove that they are the only true religion in the world. Can I prove to you

without a shadow of doubt, that they have been led astray, like the rest, by none other than

satan himself. After many interactions with Muslims regarding our faiths, the Holy Spirit

Himself gave me the key to the truth regarding Islam.



In every religion, the truth will always be traced in the foundation of that religion regardless of

how good it may look on the outside. Christianity, for example places their faith in a Messiah

known as Emmanuel, which means, [God with us]. Does this apply throughout the Bible, it

certainly does. In the beginning God …, the very words of the only true instruction manual

given to mankind. God, is therefore the foundation of the Bible. According to John Chapter 1.

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In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. He was

in the beginning with God. All things came into being through Him, and without Him not even

one thing came into being that has come into being.





Is the Quran the first book, instructing people about God? Nope, it is written 600 years after

Jesus Christ.



Is Mohammed the author of the Quran? Nope, according to Islam, an angel is?



Can it be proved that an angel mislead millions of people? Absolutely, without a doubt.



According to our understanding, an angel is simply a messenger; therefore the messenger is

the god of Islam. Now according to our understanding, the true God of the universe will from

time to time send angels to the earth to address men. Nevertheless, every time God sends an

angel it must harmonise with His will which is according to his manual, the original Bible.

Would you not agree?



Now an angel appears to Mohammed with a message from the messenger, ―god‖ and dictates

the Quran to him, which produces Islam.



Now an angel appears to Joseph Smith with a message from the messenger, ―god‖ and dictates

the Mormon Doctrine, which produces Mormonism.



Now either this messenger is satan himself; and he is purposefully misleading entire Nations,

or our Father God, who loves the world so much, is corrupt!!!!



Satan has shown his true colours already, therefore [ALL] meaning, every person will NOT

enter the Kingdom of God, except through Jesus Christ and Him crucified, unless the Bible is

also corrupt!



Why then, are there so many deferent believe systems amongst believers from so many

different churches?



After the resurrection of Jesus Christ there was only one Church, namely the body of

Believers, also known as Followers of the Way. These were all Jewish Believers. Thank God

for the Jews, they have written the whole Bible for the entire world to read and believe. You

can now understand why the devil hates the Jews. They were the first to be nicknamed

Christians; they were the first to be slaughtered for there faith. Let me stress again, they were

the first to introduce the New Testament to the world, to the Jews and Gentiles alike. The

message of the Jews was that Jesus Christ is King of kings, the Lord of lords and the God of all

creation. The Church grew in numbers exponentially and threatened the powers and

authorities seen and unseen. The world Empire tried to extinguish the Believers like Hitler

tried to snuff out the Jews. What the devil did not see was the Church was not only growing

but also spreading throughout the world.



―If you can‘t win them, join them.‖ This time, instead of snuffing out Christianity, let them

become one with the State. ―The Roman Catholic Church.‖ From all Believers being put to the

sword, to all Believers being educated by the ―State/Church - The Roman Catholic Church‖,

under Greek philosophy mindset. Now the Roman Catholic empire gave themselves permission

to take the life‘s of Christians outside the ―church‖. The Roman Catholic empire gave





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themselves authority over the Word of God. Instead of teaching the truth and setting people

free, they controlled the world with many lies.



I believe that there are many Catholics who have come to know Jesus Christ personally,

therefore what I am about to express is history, not Catholic bashing.



What did the foremost Catholic Church do that was so awful?



1. Introduce a hierarchy system, giving all authority to the ―educated few‖.

2. Introduce Mary as sinless, as a goddess, one that can be worshipped

3. Introduce the Trinity as one God in three persons.

4. Change the form of baptism, from believer‘s baptism to infant baptism.

5. Change the Sabbath day from Saturday to Sunday.

6. Taking the place of God, by allowing the church Priests to forgive people who are

sinners, their sins, by merely getting the people to say ‗Hale Mary‘s‘.

7. Replacing God‘s grace with working for salvation.

8. Introducing purgatory as a waiting period before entering heaven.

9. Forcing those who were going to educate the flock, Priests, Fathers so on, to take oaths

that are contrary to scripture.

10. Removing and altering the Ten Commandments.

11. To introduce a Penance System whereby you could pay for the sins of others.

12. To place the Pope with the same powers as that of God.

13. To control the mind of the then known world.

14. To introduce idol worship, the worship of the crucifix, the statue of St. Mary etc.

15. The people must acknowledge the supreme authority of the Bishop of Rome, the pope,

in matters of faith.

16. The Catholic Church had regarded itself as the only legitimate inheritor, the Episcopal

succession descending from St Peter to the present time.

17. They introduced a system that promoted a wealthy, proud and pompous Church.

18. Catholics believe that they can help by their prayers and good works those who have

died without being fully purified of their sins. A belief closely associated with the

doctrines of purgatory and indulgence.

19. The introduction of confirmation that will strengthen membership to the Church.

20. To add to the Bible, the Apocrypha.

21. The rosary, a string of beads made in the form of a circle, with a pendant crucifix. This

is traditionally used at the Lord's Prayer and the Hail Mary or Ave Maria. (In Islam

the rosary consists of 33 or 99 amber beads, and the practice of the rosary consists of

counting around the ring to count the 99 ―most beautiful names of Allah‖ recorded in

the Koran.)

22. The introduction of Christmas Day. Pope Julius I proclaimed December 25 as the date

of the Nativity in 350.

23. Again Good Friday is added immediately preceding Easter, celebrated by Christians as

the anniversary of Christ‘s crucifixion. The name ―Good Friday‖ is generally believed

to be a corruption of ―God‘s Friday‖. (Jesus spent three days and three nights in the

grave, not just Friday and Saturday night.)



I love Catholics; they have a desire for God and just look at the movie, ―The Passion Christ‖

produced by a dedicated Catholic. All of the above are not absolute truths though; they are

fabricated to make us believe in a religion and a tradition instead of the honesty and loyalty of

the Word of God and His love for us. You may ask; ―Why is the trinity as one God in three

persons so awfully wrong?‖ Is this not what the body of believers believe, is this not the

foundation of the Church grounded in stone? It is true; I too was sucked in this type of

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thinking, but reason with me, this same Spirit that we call God is in the Father, that was

birthed in his son, Christ Jesus is now also in every person who is in the womb to be Born

Again. Let me remind you of a fact. You couldn‘t choose on what side of the fence your parents

birthed you, but by God‘s wonderful grace, you can choose on what side of the fence you can

be born again. The Word of God declares us who are children of the family of God; ―We are

not our own, we are bought with a price‖ (1 Cor. 6:20). Jesus himself states that we could do

greater things than he (John 14:12). The Bible says that even the least in the Kingdom of God

is greater that John the Baptist. (Mathew 11:11). The Bible teaches us that we are greater than

satan. (1 John 4:4). If you think there are three Gods in the trinity, think again. The Bible is

clear, there is one God; how you analyze God is up to you. There is one road that leads to

heaven and it is through no one other than Christ Jesus himself, all other roads lead to hell,

whether you go through Rome or not! Change the Word of God, change the Council of God

and change the relationship and worship towards God. This is what the Catholic Church

hierarchy and with the help from the devil did.



So why are there so many deferent believe systems amongst believers?



The truth will set you free and that is entirely what happened. Godly men wanted more of the

truth and moved out of the Roman Catholic Church. From these Godly men the Church began

to split, some for the better and some for the worst. Martin Luther, a German theologian and

religious reformer, initiated the Protestant Reformation. The French reformer John Calvin

Instituted the Christian Religion influential works in the development of the Protestant

Churches. John Bunyan, English writer and Puritan minister, author of The Pilgrim‘s

Progress changed hundreds if not thousands of lives. Baptists who accept the basic tenets of

the 16th-century Reformation (justification by faith, the authority of the Scriptures, and the

priesthood of the believer) but have added other beliefs and practices, including baptism of

believers by immersion only. John Wesley, theologian, evangelist, and founder of Methodism.

The Anglican Church, second-largest Christian denomination in Australia, until 1981 called

the Church of England in Australia. The Church has its origins in the Church of England

within the United Kingdom, and it remains part of the Anglican Communion. I think you got

the point; the damage the Roman Catholic Church did, remains till this day in the body of

Christ. Most still worship the day after the Sabbath. Most still baptise babies. Most still believe

Christmas Day is the day Jesus was born. Some still work for their Salvation. Some still add

Scripture to Scripture. The point is made, the Church is not without fault, but that does not

make God‘s love for the Church fictitious. Because the Church has been in error, it certainly

does not mean the Bible is in error. It certainly does not mean that God is in error.









---§§§---









Then the argument must boil down to one critical controversy.



Is the Bible the Word of God?

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Like some I have read the Bible from cover to cover and can equivocally say, parts of the Bible

are truly boring. However boring some chapters may be, holistically the Bible is written with

one viewpoint in mind.



―It is the most singular book in the world that has given uncountable citizens hope in a future

life, than any other book of its kind.‖



There is no manual for mankind in the world like it; there is no other hope in salvation

like the salvation perceived throughout its pages. There is no other grace that can take its place

and there is no peace or joy found outside of it. It took forty men over forty generations to

write the Bible in three different languages and in three different continents. Some were rich,

some were poor, some were learned, some weren‘t, some authors wrote at war, some at peace,

some in jail, some on the throne, some authors were emotional, some weren‘t, yet when you

read it, it sounds like there is only one Author.



There is absolute harmony in the Word of God from the very beginning to ―the Amen‖

at the end. If you were to take forty different authors to write a book in different places, each

author having a different mood and a different lifestyle in three different continents with three

different languages over a period of one thousand five hundred years and yet still have the

same harmony. As a religion you would have something to boast about.



The bottom line is this. If you love the Lord with all your heart and you know you are

bought with His price, the only hell you will experience is on earth. If however, you do not

believe in God and will not trust Him for your salvation, this short time on earth will be your

only heaven you are going to experience. [If] the Bible is true and you don‘t believe it, you are

in serious trouble according to it! [If] you believe the Bible to be true and you don‘t accept it,

you are in serious trouble according to it! Questions that make one wonder why? Why did

Jesus die willingly, if he knew he was deceiving us? Why did the disciples die willingly, if they

knew they were being misled? Why did the early church die willingly in the most gruesome

manner, if they knew they were deceiving themselves or being deceived? If there is no hope,

what is the point?



If you have nothing, except the WORD of God, you have everything that is written between

Genesis and Revelation. Peter had nothing other than the words of Jesus, and he stood on

those words and became the second man in history, to walk on water. Do not limit the Word of

God.



Now for the biggest lie that you have ever heard.



―Tomorrow is another day!‖



Although we plan for tomorrow, what about ten million years from now? You know what? I

am a greedy person by my sinful appetite. I want a lot more than what I can give - but, the

more I get, the more I see decay. It is one thing to promise, and quite another to perform. Now

I‘m going to share a secret with you. I have found treasures most can only dream about. This

wealth will never rusts nor can anyone one snatch it from me. In a million years time I will still

have this wealth.



One of the mistakes the Church has made, and there are many. The Church has asked the

world if they would accept Jesus Christ as their personal Saviour. It sounds good, but is it

what the Bible teachers. Let us take the most famous verse in the Bible, John 3:16. In essence

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God accepted the whole world, we did not accept Him, He accepted us. Therefore, simply by

not believing that truth, He has been rejected. In other words, if I, a stranger to you, were to

give you a BMW, place it outside your door and give you the manual with instructions to find

the key to the car, but you reject my offer, even though the car is outside your door and

remains there till you die, you never get to ride it, even if you were to pass away with all the

knowledge of the manual in one hand and the keys in the other.



Do you want to know how to become rich?



I‘m sure by now, you have heard of ―get rich schemes‖. They give it wonderful titles like,

―Multi-Level Marketing‖. However, the pyramid system is full proof, the initiator gains all the

wealth from the sucker at the end of the pyramid. Now imagine a pyramid scheme where you

earn the same income as that of the initiator. Have I got your attention now! Do you want a

taste of this wealth? Do you want to hold it in your hand and feel its power? Do you want to

travel in style with its potential? If you are as greedy as I am, then I know your answer is yes.



How do I become rich?



If you looked after fish, as a hobby as I did, you would have to know that you need some

basics. A fish tank, water, fish, fish food, a pump with filters, a heater, a thermometer, a light,

some artificial rockery, pebbles and some plant life. When you introduce the fish to the tank,

you keep the fish in the bag of water you received from the Pet Shop. You place the bag with

the fish in, in the tank until the temperature of water in the tank, and the water in the bag are

the same. Then you set the fish free into the water in the tank. If you add another fish you do

same, but never a fish that is not compatible with the fish in the tank and never let babies out

amongst the adults for they will be eaten. Never over feed them and always keep their tank

clean. Always keep the Ph levels correct and always check the temperature.



―Do you still want to become rich? Become like a little fish in the tank!!!‖ ―Kevin, are you on

drugs or what?‖ some maybe thinking. Before you discard this book, listen to me; I do have

the key to riches beyond your wildest dreams. When Jesus said to Nicodemus; ―You must be

born again.‖ I wonder what Nicodemus must of thought of him. Can you be born in the

natural? No, never, impossible. Can you become like that little fish in the tank? No, never,

impossible. Can this be done in the spiritual? Yes, it can and must be done if you want to

become rich. Some of you might be thinking; we Christians have lost it, by spiritualizing things

so that the carnal mind doesn‘t understand. You may be right, but seeing that you have read

this much into the book, I‘m going to give you the key to much prosperity. What can fish do to

please their master? What can fish do to please themselves? If you apply the same attitude to

God as a fish does towards pleasing man, you already have the key to all Gods riches.



Do fish complain when they are hungry? No, so never find fault with God, when things go

wrong.



If we desire the Word of God as fish desire their daily feed, we will flourish over night.



There is still one more thing to do, to become wealthy in God. Fish multiply, fish multiply, fish

multiply, did you get that, and fish multiply. If we multiply spiritually, we inherit riches that

far outshine this world. Why do you think Jesus said, ―Store up for yourselves treasure in

heaven, where it is impossible to be destroyed. Matthew 6:20.‖ Now if a fish multiplies itself, it

brings joy to many homes. There is still one more thing to consider. Only fish can multiply

fish. Only the Holy Spirit can bring about salvation. The Holy Spirit in me can witness to the

spirit in you and your spirit can say YES to God, and you begin to feel the inside of your

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spiritual womb, filled with the Holy Spirit person. Now when the Holy Spirit in you reproduces

itself you earn all of Gods riches. Remember what I said. ―Imagine a pyramid scheme where

you earn the same income as that of the initiator.‖ Why did I say that, where do I get it from.

You right, I got it from the Word of God. Jesus gave a parable about the workers in the

vineyard in Matthew 20:1-16, the first shall be last and the last shall be first, and the payment

is to be equal. This is the very best pyramid scheme you will ever enjoy.



Christianity is simple, keep it simple.



Imagine this, the owner and designer of a manufacturer of a type model car, which you can

only dream of is to be given to you by the owner himself and let me add, at no charge to you.

You have never met this owner; he is no part of your family, in fact you do not even know him.

Now the owner pays an invaluable sum for the motor vehicle that he himself owns. His agents

write the manual and they place all legal documents in your name. He sends an agent to your

house with the manual and the documents; all you have to do is pick up your vehicle at the

dealer.



How does one react to this?



Ignore the agent and continue cycling to work.

Take the documents and hide it from family and friends.

Chase the agents away after you find out what their intentions are.

Plot a way to destroy the owner‘s agents for doing this to you.

Study the manual well and maybe even teach others about the vehicle.

Phone the dealer from time to time, especially when transport is needed.

Window-shop around the dealer‘s store on your off days.

Try to negotiate a deal of payments that would suit you.

Convincing yourself and others that it can be owned through other means.

Change the choice of vehicle for another model.



Jesus paid an invaluable price, his own life for you to have a life to the max; all you have to do

is receive it. Guess what, most apply the above.



Three types of owners [Christians].



1. Those that take the car, neglect the manual, enjoy riding it without a licence, always in

a spot of trouble. Nevertheless, they ride till the value of the car is stationery and

rusted.

2. Those that take the car, refuse to get the licence and keep the car locked-up in the

garage, except for the occasional Sunday. All the same, they don‘t mind reading and

sharing the knowledge of the manual. They become easily depressed and desponded so

their guilt leads them on a roll-a-coaster ride.

3. Then there are those who are so grateful. They make contact with the owner; they

delight in the owners grace and mercy. They worship the owner with all their heart and

want to be part and parcel of his agency. Because the owner is so touched by their

response, all the vehicles on show, including service, petrol and insurance is free to

them. They ride and ride and ride always in a brand new top of the range car of their

dreams. Even though they at times have even life-threatening accidents, heavenly

insurance covers it all, even though they receive traffic fines, the designer goes to court

and stands by as an encourager, not as a threat. All there securities are attended to and

they are guaranteed protection for life forever.





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Now you know why some Christians are disappointing and how others are too saintly. The

choice of church you respond to will either disappoint you or encourage you.



Do not set your eyes on the church either way, set your eyes on the owner; he will never leave

you, nor forsake you. The value of a drop of Christ‘s blood, can replace seven trillion times all

the motor vehicles on the face of the earth.



Even if you could recite the entire Instruction Manual, it CANNOT set you free, if it could, the

devil would be the first free angel. Neither living a good life can set you free. Only the free gift,

namely, the Holy Spirit that comes from God, can set you free. It is true to say that the Bible

directs you to the crucified Jesus Christ and the gift that is for all. You know what I find

strange, this is the biggest gift ever given to man, yet it is the only one that is rejected by the

majority. Now since when do you pay or work for a gift?



It is interesting that the tree of knowledge, has led man to hell, yet the only historical Book of

Wisdom also leads man to eternity with Jesus Christ. Now Paul makes an interesting point and

pens these words; "Not of the letter but of the Spirit; for the letter kills, but the Spirit gives

life." In other words, the Bible does not save, the Holy Spirit does. All the Bible does, is lead us

to Him.



Now for second biggest lie that you have ever heard.



―Nothing for nothing!‖



The greater the price, the bigger the pound of flesh. Now for the truth or the facts that puzzle

the flesh. This wealth you can have for nothing and you can have it now. All you have to do is

knock, the door will open - seek, you will find it and ask, and it will be given to you. You don‘t

need a master‘s degree to get it; neither can your parents will it out to you.



You don‘t have to have power, nor do you have to have money to receive this wealth. You

know I trust that some of you will be made rich beyond your wildest dreams and together we

will sing, together we will laugh, and together we will grasp life forever. With a reminder that

we will, with the forgiveness of God the Father, the eternal blood of Jesus Christ his Son and

the fellowship of the Holy Spirit. We will be made rich in every way and in everyway we will

share our wealth on all occasions with others and this will result in a brighter future for Africa

and the world. A reminder from experience: If you want to store up riches in heaven you must

bypass the boot of the devil. That means the devil will not be happy with you if you‘re sowing

seeds out of the Word of God, but take heart the Lord Jesus Christ has overcome the devil.

Please do not complain to God, He has you in His and your best interest.



I know you think Africa is poor because of its currency value and by your standards you may

be right, but believe me there is much more wealth in Africa, (and may I be bold enough to

stick my neck out and add), than there is in other continents.



Tom taught me a very good lesson about the life of an addicted person and with his

permission, I‘m going to share a truth with you. Tom is addicted to alcohol therefore Tom is

an alcoholic. As Tom shared his story with me, I realised that he is much better off than I. Can

I be bold enough and say that he is much better off than you. How dare you? You may boldly

ask! Tom has got some serious issues. He has lost everything, from his family to his job – from

his self worth to his dignity, everything. Tom shared intimate things that would scare the living

daylights out of some, yet for Tom, he is better off than you and I. ―‗Why‘ you may be asking

or even more importantly, how can such a ―loser‖ - ―be better off‖, than us?‖ The answer is

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quite simple, we can hide our addiction/s and he simply cannot. I am sure some addictions are

acceptable, for example. If you were addicted to drinking chocolate milkshakes would you

loose everything, more than likely not. If you were addicted to a mind-altering substance

abuse, more than likely – yes. What about the addiction/s of those things, that no one can see?

What would life be like if everything we thought was exposed for everybody to scrutinize?

How many marriages would last? Think of how many jobs would we be able to maintain,

without telling a lie? What jail could hold such a vast number of evil games you have planned

or plotted in your mind?



The question that I would rather avoid talking about has come to life amongst a few Christians

and although I would rather avoid the subject, it needs to be addressed.



Are Christians Gods?



If I said no, I would be in trouble. If I said yes, I would be in trouble and it is hard to be

between a rock and a hard place. It started when I made a joke to bring about a message. We

were in the bus on our way to the Mighty Men‘s Conference, and I said, excuse me; the king

would like to pass by (the king, as in me). Some men just gave me the look, others tried to

ignore what I had said. I thought this was great fun, so I purposely did it again and again. I

then took it to the next level, I ended my letters, sms‘s and emails with, God Bless - king K.

Now I got the attention of some and I may add they were not the best critiques. Nevertheless,

why did I do it? I wanted Christians to understand that when Jesus said he is the King of kings

and Lord of lords he was not referring to the English Monarchy or the king of the Zulu‘s. He

addressed Christians as kings and lords, not the world. Now a friend who loves to debate me

on just about every subject challenged me on the matter of Christians who call themselves gods

and this has been my response to him.



I watched a certain Baptist Teacher on DVD, on the subject; ―Calling for Discernment‖, and

like an old Baptist myself I agreed on many issues he had raised. Nevertheless, there are some

things that are dogmatic and there are others that are open for discussion. As for example,

Gen 3:22 ―And Jehovah God said, (not Mickey Mouse from Wald Disney) Behold, the man has

become as one of Us, to know good and evil. And now, lest he put forth his hand and take also

of the tree of life, and eat, and live forever.‖ There should be a number of questions arising in

every Christian‘ brain, including this Baptist Teacher. ―Who is the Author? And can the verse

mean anything other than what it said, and if it does, what does it mean?‖ What was man

before he ate of tree of good and evil? And what does it mean, when God said, Let Us make

man in Our image, after Our likeness Gen 1:26? And what does this mean; 1Cor 8:5 For

though there are those who are called gods, whether in Heaven or in earth (as there are many

gods and many lords). Why are we called kings, lords, children of God, co-heirs with Jesus,

Ambassadors, Temples of God, Holy, Righteous, Saints, Spotless, Sinless, Justified and Pure?

It would be one thing if an evil spirit or a devoted humanist called us these names, but it is the

Holy Spirit that calls us these attributes that can ONLY be addressed as God. What balance do

we bring to the body of Christ, if we ignore what the Holy Spirit has said through the Word of

God?



Friend, I hope you are not misunderstanding me, I‘m not trying, like most people to

understand Biblical truth with my flesh or with my brain; because if I did, I would agree with

many 100%. I read the Scripture and if God said, 2+2=10, even though it does not make sense,

I would believe it. Now this is one thing I would have to agree with, my flesh is NOT God or ―a

god‖, neither is my brain. What people need to know, a Christian is primarily a spirit in a

lump of clay, in a earth suit, if you like. Now the ―earth suit‖ is NOT and never will be God or

even a god, it is going to turn back to dust and fertilize someone‘s garden. My spirit is who I

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am, and it will receive a perfect body one day, however until that day comes I have to use the

Word of God, through means of faith. Now this imperfect body and this flawed mind will and

does have difficulties understanding the spirit and even the Word of God, sometimes.

Therefore, an element of faith has to be the key to understanding. Why does Jesus make this

statement? Please friend, listen to my heart, I‘m not quoting Kevin Rich. John 17:11‖And now

I am in the world no longer, but these are in the world, and I come to You, Holy Father. Keep

them in Your name, those whom You have given Me (Jesus), so that they may be one as We

are.‖ Therefore, how can we be one with God or become one with Jesus and still be seated on

the fleshly throne. As you know I love God very much and this topic will never puff me up. I

will never see my flesh as God or even ―a god‖, I count my flesh as nothing. Nevertheless, my

spirit is inseparable with the Holy Spirit, Jesus and I are joined together forever and can never

be separated. Therefore, if it pleases you, my spirit is whatever God wants it to be. I love you

friend, yet if you can find anything I have said that is not in line with the Word of God, I would

be more than willing to listen; however, if the Word of God is purposely disregarded and

overlooked or not even considered, I will have great difficulties listening. Let me just say it

again; ―my flesh‖, ―my earth suit‖ is not God, however I am primarily spirit who would long

to be with his heavenly Father, but for the sake of you and His calling, I do His will on earth.

For argument sake; if I was the only privileged Christian in the world to receive his new

heavenly body, while still on earth, that can go through walls, move from Cape Town to

London in a split second, walk on the stormy oceans and not sink, everybody would see me as,

a god. However, I‘m prepared to wash feet and humble myself and just believe who I am in

Christ, if that offends the intellectual mind, use the whole Word to prove I‘m wrong. As a

result, I‘m not greater, better, even equal to God; I‘m just a sinner saved by grace through

faith, it is no longer I who live, it is God who lives in me. I try to die every day, and from time

to time, I fail, sometimes badly, and if you view that, as a god, then you are 100% right, I

should go to hell for blasphemy.



Every one of us is addicted to something!



 The man that is addicted to smoking is addicted to a plant.



 The one who is addicted to alcohol is addicted to the grape or the grain it comes from.



 The one, who is addicted to sex, is the one who is addicted to the senses that control

him.



 Similarly the one, who is addicted to pornography, is the one who is addicted to a

change of mindset that can within time cause him to rape.



 The one, who is addicted to money, is the one who is addicted to adoring the dust it will

become.



 The one, who is addicted to success, is the one who is addicted to worshipping the flesh

of his own armour.



 The one who is addicted to gambling, is the one who is addicted to a goal that never

satisfies.



 The one, who is addicted to pride, is the one who is addicted to self-gratification.



 The one, who is addicted to fame, is the one who is addicted to a god.



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 The one who is addicted to religion is the one addicted to calamity, and will still one day

bend the knee to the true wise God.



 The one who is addicted to a tradition is the one who is bound up by his forefathers‘

dogmatic ideas.



 The Holy Spirit controls the one who is addicted to Jesus, even though every living soul

is addicted to sin. This addiction to sin can be dealt with by you and you take

responsibility for it or it could be nailed to the cross of Calvary.



 The choice is entirely ours to choose, life or death forever.



 The last controversial belief that mostly Christians struggle with.



Can one loose ones Salvation?



Once a person becomes a Christian, is in the incubator of its mothers womb by the Holy Spirit‘

and displays all the fruit of the Spirit in their lives; can they loose all rights of going to heaven

if they sin? The simple answer to this question is no, never - yet thousands of Christians will

disagree with me on this matter. As a family, we were dedicating our Grandson, Joshua, to the

Lord in a fairly new Church. While we were standing in front of the congregation, the Pastor

asked a question, which took everyone by surprise. ―Is there anyone who believes ‗once saved

always saved‘?‖ With my back facing the congregation, I boldly had my hand up. When I saw

the Pastors eyes fixed on mine, I realised I was the only voice to have this belief at that moment

in that congregation. Now before you start spiting on this book, come let us reason together.



There are three types of so called ‗Christians‘?



1. Those who say they are saved by Grace, yet they live totally under the law. If they do

not abide by the law, well they are doomed for destruction. No hope unless you are

under the law.

2. Those who believe they are saved by Grace, yet they are divided by their lifestyle.

Sometimes when it seems proper and fitting, more often when they are close to the Lord

they say they live by the power of the Spirit; other times when ‗Saints‘ distance

themselves from the Lord, the power of the law, or commandments – the do‘s and

don‘ts become applicable. The majority by far of Believers fall in this camp, from the

greatest leaders, with most accolades to their name, to the least in the family, including

mine. You will find many so called Yo-Yo Christians in this group and will always be

uncertain of their Salvation. They drain the life of the Church and its Power with their

dreams one day, up - and their doubts the next, down. This section of the body, because

of their great number dictate the life of the Church, and are also the sad cause for most

people leaving the Church. Leaving the Church to follow the world gives the power to

those inside the circle of this ‗Church‘ to judge them as those, having ‗lost‘ their

Salvation.

3. Then there are those who say they are saved by Grace, thank God that their names are

written in the Book of Life and live as kings in the summer and throughout winter.



Having said that, I can feel the poison arrows directing my soul, but please listen to the Word

of God.





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Jesus said: "Not everyone who calls me 'Lord, Lord' will enter the Kingdom of heaven,

but only those who do what my Father in heaven wants them to do.‖





Believers Replied: ―Lord, Lord, we prophesied in your name, drove out demons in your name,

and performed many miracles in your name, didn't we?‖ Mat 7:22



Jesus said: ―Then I will tell them plainly, 'I never knew you. Get away from me, you

evildoers!'" Mat 7:23



Not everyone who claims to be a Christian is going to heaven, which is clear and let me say this

group have always belonged to the devil. They are not Spirit filled, and know nothing of the

power of God. They look like Christians, they talk like Christians and they act like Christians.

The sad part of this tragedy is this; they sit in the same Congregation, partake of the same

sacraments, sing the same notes, read the same Bible and shout Amen at the same time.

Therefore, going to a Church does not automatically qualify you as a Christian; but neither

does sleeping in a stable make you an animal.



If we can loose our Salvation, these verses plus many more must also be removed from the

Bible.



 The person who conquers in this way will wear white clothes, and I will never erase his

name from the Book of Life. I will acknowledge his name in the presence of my Father

and his angels. Rev 3:5



 For while the law was given through Moses, grace and truth came through Jesus Christ.

John 1:17 (The opposite of law is therefore Grace.)



 Therefore, the promise is based on faith, so that it may be a matter of grace and may be

guaranteed for all his descendants-not only for those who were given the law, but also for

those who share Abraham's faith, who is the father of us all. Rom 4:16. (What does

guaranteed mean?)



 He was handed over to death because of our sins and was raised to life because of our

justification.

 Rom 4:25. (Justification means - Just-as-if-I-had-never-sinned.)



 For if the ministry of condemnation has glory, then the ministry of justification has an

overwhelming glory. 2 Cor. 3:9



 But if this is by grace, then it is no longer on the basis of works. Otherwise, grace would

no longer be grace. Rom 11:6



 "My grace is all you need, for my power is perfected in weakness." Therefore, I will most

happily boast about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. 2 Cor. 12:9



 I do not set aside the grace of God, for if righteousness comes through the law, then

Christ died for nothing. Gal 2:21



 Those of you who are trying to be justified by the law have been cut off from Christ. You

have fallen away from grace. Gal 5:4



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 For by such grace you have been saved through faith. This does not come from you; it is

the gift of God and not the result of works, lest anyone boast. Eph 2:8-9



 He saved us and called us with a holy calling, not according to our own works but

according to his own purpose and the grace that was given to us in Christ Jesus before

time began. 2 Ti 1:9



 Who can separate us from Christ's love? Can trouble, distress, persecution, hunger,

nakedness, danger, or a sword? As it is written, "For your sake we are being killed all

day long. We are thought of as sheep to be slaughtered." No, in all these things we are

more than conquerors through the one who loved us. For I am convinced that neither

death, nor life, nor angels, nor rulers, nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers,

nor anything above, nor anything below, nor anything else in all creation can separate us

from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord. Rom 8:35. (When the Church

leadership tells the flock they can loose their Salvation; then they empower themselves above

the Word of God.)



 Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. Old things have disappeared, and-

look!-all things have become new! 2 Cor. 5:17



 And if children, then heirs; heirs of God, and joint-heirs with Christ; if so be that we

suffer with him, that we may be also glorified together. Rom 8:17



 No one who has been born from God practices sin, because God's seed abides in him.

Indeed, he cannot go on sinning, because he has been born from God. 1 John 3:9



 For you have been born again, not by a seed that perishes but by one that cannot perish-

by the living and everlasting word of God. 1 Pet 1:23 (Did you notice, a seed that cannot

perish)



 Whoever believes in him is not condemned, but whoever does not believe has already

been condemned, because he has not believed in the name of God's unique Son. John

3:18



Can my name be removed because of sin?



 My sheep hear my voice. I know them, and they follow me. I give them eternal life, and

they will never perish, and no one will snatch them out of my hand. What my Father has

given me is greater than all else, and no one can snatch it from the Father's hand. I and the

Father are one." John 10:27-30 (“They will never perish,” means just that, the Children of

God will never perish. “No one can snatch …” means just that).



 God said, "I will never leave you or abandon you." Heb 13:5. (It says, “I will never leave

you or abandon you [full stop].” It does not say, if – but you must. It says, I will never leave

you or abandon you even if you ... or because you .... or when you .... The love of God is

higher than ......., it is wider than ......., it is deeper than ....... Please do not bind God to the

Law when He has given you free Grace, you will only bind your own fate.)



 Therefore, go - make disciples of all the Nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father,

and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to obey all that I have commanded



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you. And remember, I am with you each and every day until the end of the age." Mat

28:19-20

 (When God makes a promise to Christians such as, “I am with you each and every day until

the end of the age” does God mean something different if we misbehave).



 But whoever drinks the water that I will give him will never become thirsty again. (What

does the word “never” mean?) The water that I will give him will become in him a well of

water springing up to eternal life." John 4:14



 "Truly, truly I tell you, the one who hears my word and believes in the one who sent me

has eternal life (not part or maybe eternal life, it means life everlasting) and does not come

under judgment, but has passed from death to life. John 5:24. (What does receiving eternal

life, being free from judgement and surpassing death mean?)



 Do not work for the food that perishes (Do not work for your Salvation, it is free) but for the

food that lasts for eternal life, which the Son of Man will give you. For it is on him that

God the Father has set his seal." John 6:27 (Who can remove the seal in light of this verse?)



 For the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life in union with Christ

Jesus our Lord. Rom 6:23 (Is there sufficient evidence from Scripture without altering the

Word, that God or man can or will remove a free gift [Holy Spirit])



 After you have suffered for a little while, the God of all grace, who called you in Christ

Jesus to his eternal glory, will restore you, establish you, strengthen you, and support you.

(This verse implies that God loves us so much he would rather see us suffer for a little while

than let us go, supposing we “can loose our salvation”.) 1 Pet 5:10



 Sing, O heavens; and be joyful, O earth; and break out into singing, O mountains; for the

Lord has comforted His people, and will have mercy on His afflicted. But Zion said,

Jehovah has forsaken me, and my LORD has forgotten me. Can a woman forget her

suckling child, that she should not have compassion on the son of her womb? Yes, they

may forget, yet I will not forget you. Behold, I have carved you on the palms of My hands;

your walls are forever before Me. (Sounds familiar, does it not)

 Isa 49:13-16



 However, stop rejoicing because the spirits are submitting to you. Rather, rejoice because

your names are written in heaven." Luke 10:20



 Come now, and let us reason together, says Jehovah; though your sins are as scarlet, they

shall be as white as snow; though they are red like crimson, they shall be like wool. Isa

1:18. (I did not know that it was possible for sin to anything but ugly and dark, yet if God said

it, I believe it.)



 Now the law crept in so that sin would increase. But where sin increased, grace increased

even more, so that, just as sin ruled by bringing death, so also grace might rule by bringing

justification that results in eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord. Rom 5:20-21



I know what most of you are thinking right now, be warned God is not our play mate, He will

and does deal with His children, like any normal father would!



With righteous discipline and believe me; you do not want to go there!!!



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How much do you think God loves us and our children and our grandchildren?



My Father, who is the King, has this to say to a mother that is concerned about her children,

she has no more control over them. Turn to Acts 2:39 and stand on that word in prayer, till

you see the breakthrough! "The promise is for you and your children and for all who are far

off–for all whom the Lord our God will call." To understand the promise, read verse 38.



Has satan the power to stand before God and accuse the Saints?



For many years I use to think this was the case. I always had this image that there was a Court

Case going to take place in heaven, where I would have to stand before God, as the judge.

Satan would stand to my left and accuse me day and night before the Father and Jesus Christ,

to my right, would eventually release me as my Advocate.



Till the day I understood Revelation chapter 12.



If this verse (Revelation 12:5), is true?



"She gave birth to a son, a male child, who ―will rule all the nations with an iron scepter.‖ And

her child was snatched up to God and to his throne." Rev 12:5



Then "She" must be "Mary" and her "Son" must be "Jesus". Who other than her child,

(Jesus) was snatched up to God and to HIS THRONE.



If this verse is true then?



Then the entire Chapter needs to be reviewed again.



Verse 1.

"A woman (Mary or Israel) clothed with the sun, with the moon under her feet and a crown of

twelve stars on her head."



(Sun, moon and 12 stars), does this not sound like, a dream of Joseph, except for the 12 stars

that stand for the 12 tribes of Israel.



Verse 2.



"She was pregnant and cried out in pain as she was about to give birth."



No virgin has ever given birth before or since, therefore who knows what a virgin birth is like?



Can we for the sake of truth concentrate on the facts and not on the doctrinal theories that

have been easily spread around by some Christian quarters.



Verse 3-4.



"An enormous red dragon with seven heads and ten horns and seven crowns on its heads. 4 Its

tail swept a third of the stars out of the sky and flung them to the earth."



Did not satan take a third of the angels out of heaven?





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Verse 4



"The dragon stood in front of the woman who was about to give birth, so that it might devour

her child the moment he was born."



Was not all baby boys under the age of two killed, was this not the act of satan to try and kill

Jesus at birth?



Verse 5



"She gave birth to a son, a male child, who ―will rule all the nations with an iron scepter.‖ And

her child was snatched up to God and to his throne."



Jesus Christ is the only person to be ―snatched up‖ or ―caught up‖ or ―raptured‖ to the

Throne of God, no other will ever have that privilege.



Now if all the above is true, let us look at the facts of the remaining chapter.



Verse 6



"The woman fled into the wilderness to a place prepared for her by God, where she might be

taken care of for 1,260 days."



1,260 days, does that not sound like 3 and 1/2 years.

This is only speculation, nevertheless could these 3 & 1/2 years not be a war in heaven or even

a war we think is going to happen?

According to Daniel 9:27: ―And he shall confirm a covenant with many for one week (this

could mean 7 Years). And in the middle of the week he shall cause the sacrifice and the

offering to cease…‖

What is this in the next 2 verses?



Verse 7-8



"And there was war in heaven. Michael and his angels fought against the dragon, and the

dragon and his angels fought back. 8 But he was not strong enough, and they lost their place in

heaven."



They lost their place in heaven? What, does this mean satan can never go to heaven and stand

before God again, like he did in Job?



Does that mean the devil cannot accuse the Saints ever again? What does it say in Romans

8:33?



"Who shall bring any charge against God‘s elect [when it is] God Who justifies [that is, Who

puts us in right relation to Himself? Who shall come forward and accuse or impeach those

whom God has chosen? Will God, Who acquits us?]"



Does this not imply that even satan cannot stand before God and accuse us of anything?



Verse 9





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"The great dragon was hurled down—that ancient serpent called the devil, or Satan, who

leads the whole world astray. He was hurled to the earth, and his angels with him."



What, can it be true? It is in the Bible.



Verse 10



"Now have come the salvation and the power and the kingdom of our God, and the authority

of his Messiah. For the accuser of our brothers and sisters, who accuses them before our God

day and night, has been hurled down."



Did Salvation not come after the Crucifixion of Jesus Christ?

What, the accuser of our brothers and sisters has been hurled down?

Hey, no more accuser for the Saints, what is satan going to do?

Am I reading the Bible or can it be someone has not told the truth about the Word?



Verse 11



"They triumphed over him by the blood of the Lamb and by the word of their testimony"



Yes, is this not exciting? 1. Our testimony and 2. Jesus blood has triumphed over satan.

Hallelujah, praise you Jesus. I'm so excited about His Word!!!



Verse 12a



"Therefore rejoice, you heavens and you who dwell in them!"



I thought that is what I was doing!



Verse 12b



"But woe to the earth and the sea, because the devil has gone down to you! He is filled with

fury, because he knows that his time is short."



Oh no, satan is going to be mad at Christians, but he ain't got no power. Smile Christian;

Greater is the Holy Spirit in us, than the devil, scratching his head on the seashore.

"In this world we are going to have trouble ...!" Do you know what I think; the closer you are

to the will of God, the greater the trouble. (Hey, but only for a season.)



Verse 13-14



"When the dragon saw that he had been hurled to the earth, he pursued the woman who had

given birth to the male child. 14 The woman was given the two wings of a great eagle, so that

she might fly to the place prepared for her in the wilderness, where she would be taken care of

for a time, times and half a time, out of the serpent‘s reach."

After the death of Jesus, not much of Mary' life is documented, however, I believe that satan

was as mad as ever, and if he took it out on Saints, how much more was his attempt on Mary?

What, 'a time, times and half a time'. If this is the second 3 & 1/2 years, could Jesus Christ

have not ministered for 3 & 1/2 years, would that not make it seven?

Remember, I am only speculating.





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Verses 15-17



"Then from his mouth the serpent spewed water like a river, to overtake the woman and

sweep her away with the torrent. 16 But the earth helped the woman by opening its mouth and

swallowing the river that the dragon had spewed out of his mouth. 17 Then the dragon was

enraged at the woman and went off to make war against the rest of her offspring—those who

keep God‘s commands and hold fast their testimony about Jesus.



I have no answers except, the Bible says satan went off to make war against the rest of her

offspring. Now we know what happens when you do the will of God!



Conclusion.



If no one is going to condemn or accuse us and if our Father remembers our sin no more, then

the only person left to accuse or condemn, is. You got it, YOU.

And although there are great teaches in the world, that have other views, I will submit to the

BIBLE with all my heart.



We have the power to be addicted to whomever or whatever we want to be addicted to, and we

can change according to our moods. However, the most forceful power in this universe is a

positive idea from the mind of a believer, who is walking in the will of God. As a Christian, we

may reach our families with the love of Christ or reach a percentage or of our nation or reach

a percentage of the world. As for God‘s love, he loved the whole world so much that he gave

his one and only son, Jesus Christ. Whoever believes by entrusting him implicitly with

everything they have, will obtain an abundant life forever. I know I have failed countless times

and still do. However, every failure is a step closer to putting to death the power of the flesh

with the sword of the Spirit. Every victory that comes forth comes from the power of the Holy

Spirit within. This has been my prayer to God and I can honestly say, that God is merciful and

full of grace.







D ear God, in the past I have from time to time put my trust in myself. I have

purposefully lied, cheated and stolen from you and from others to make my life

bearable. I have sought to look after only me. I have neglected your Word. I have

trusted no one-else‘s guidance, whether from your Spirit or not. I have sought to please the

flesh in every way and at times I have succeeded. I have given no heed to your will for my life. I

have planned my life in the flesh and from time to time I appear happy when in fact I am not

at all happy. I search for wealth, for I think that in it, it gives me pleasure, but when I have it, I

am miserable and waist it on dust. I have searched for peace and all I have found is conflict in

my soul. I searched for joy and all I get is tribulation. I run after the world and every worldly

person trips me. I get up and try and try again, but the world just laughs, as she sees me fall

again and again. I trusted in the world, but I don‘t know what I would have done, had she

stopped turning. I tried to be good, but all that comes out of me is a dishonest spirit. I wanted

to be kind, but all I have become, is an angry old man. I wanted to be compassionate to others

and help, but I find myself fighting with my wife and saying the most horrifying things to my

children.

In the past I have put your Word on a stake and burnt it and by doing so I have tried to

crucify you again and again. I have tried everything to hurt you and yet you constantly come

down from your Sovereign Kingdom. You have stripped yourself of all your armour and

climbed into the smelliest, the dirtiest cistern, only to put your arms around me and love me.

All I can say with the stench of filth around me and with tears in my eyes is, ―Lord, I am sorry.





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Lord, I‘m truly sorry, I love you my Lord and my God, please forgive me and help me

overcome my addictions in the name of Jesus Christ, the only son of God.



Thank you Lord for forgiving me.

Your servant, Kevin Rich.



You and I are only but a dormant seed, in a very dry desert-like place. We have been planted

there for a purpose. You may see yourself as one who has no hope, you may see yourself as

already dead or you may see yourself as one fighting to survive. However, you may have

insight and see as far as humanly possible, that from a distance, there are bus loads of tourists

coming from one side and the hand of God, moving his clouds of mercy from the other. When

the two meet, our seeds will burst forth and produce a garden like you have never in your

entire life seen before.



―It‘s beginning to rain, listen to the voice of the Father.‖



Every living seed will bow before the Lord, we will shout with joy and even the cactus will be

overwhelmed by the thorn in his flesh and he too will produce new life. I can hear the thunder

in the distance; I can see the lightning flash. Through it all I can see the powerful hands of God

constantly moving in our direction. I see the tourist busses coming our way. Prepare the way,

all you South Africans, for there is coming a mighty outburst of God‘s wonderful presence and

the time is sooner than you think. You cannot bury your seed were God cannot find you and

you cannot hide the seed from his presence. Trust the Lord with your seed and lean not on

your own understanding. He will give you the desire of your heart. Men everywhere will see

you and they will know that God is good and a faithful God and that He will withhold no good

thing from those who love Him. As for the wealthiest most powerful secret organisation in the

world, my God is going to strip you to shreds. You will curse your father and mother for their

roll in the high life.



Christian Barnard, a worldwide renowned Doctor. Known for the first heart transplant has

more than likely increased the lives of tens of thousands of patience by passing down his skills

and abilities. We South Africa salute him by placing him in the top ten most infamous people

of our beloved country. However, in the eyes of eternity, who will be ranked where, for saving

lives forever? If the world only knows what I have, it would sell everything it has to find it.









---§§§---









There will be still some who maybe asking, ―but how does one become a Christian?‖ or ―what

must I do to become a Christian?



Let me first tell you what satan would love you to do.



Firstly, it is his desire to see you confront your own sinful nature and find a solution for it.



Secondly, he will want you to please God with all your heart and with all your strength.

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Thirdly, he would want you to become as religious as you want to and do as many good works

as possible.



At this point you maybe asking, but is this not what God wants?



The response would be no, a thousand times no.



Why? You may ask.



Well, satan wants you to simply please God in your own strength. Let us look at the first thing

he wants us to do. He wants to see us confront our own sinful nature and find a solution for it.

I tried it, and it doesn‘t work. It‘s like a new years resolution, it lasts but for only a season and

then I find myself guilty as sin, and thinking I will never make it as a Christian. The devil

thrives on this guilt complex. Then he wants us to try and please God with all our heart and

yes, with all our strength. Sounds like a very wise and Biblical thing to do.



But is it?



It is worse than a man committing adultery and as a result pleasing his wife with a bunch of

flowers. It is impossible to please God with a load of sin and guilt in your back pocket. If the

devil can secure the first two stages, then he would love to see you become as religious as you

like. You can do as many good works as possible. It would mean absolutely nothing to God.

Good works cannot please God, without the link of faith through Jesus Christ and the council

of the Holy Spirit.



―How do you become a Christian?‖



It has occurred to me that one of the statements told by countless Christians, that bug the

world at large is the word, ―Born Again‖. The reason why even Christians have a problem

with the title, ―Born again Christians‖, is because where is the evidence of this new birth? Has

ones flesh been born again? No. Has ones mind been born again? No. Has ones emotions been

born again? No. Has ones gifts and abilities been born again? No.

So the person really looks the same, doesn‘t act very different, doesn‘t change his or her

temperament. So then, what is it about the Christian that is born again? In the beginning we

were born of God, we were made in his image and in his likeness. That part of us was called

the Spirit of God. When death came to Adam and Eve because of their disobedience, that part

of all life from them on, died - this death including everybody.

Now the spirit in us cries out for reconciliation to reunite us back to God as it was in the

beginning. However, whatever the tongue says, goes. If the truth says yes, and the heart says

yes, then the tongue will say, yes. When men say yes to God, He will never say no. That my

friend is the beginning of birth pains to the new birth of the Spirit and you will experience it

for your entire Christian walk. Therefore, it is not the flesh that is born again, it is the spirit

that is reconciled and reunites back to God. Now if the body obeys the new Spirit that is inside

of him, the tongue then can move mountains.



The power of words is devastating to the heart; just listen to what the Jewish people have

spoken over themselves and their children after they handed Jesus over to be crucified. “The

Jews answered, His blood (Jesus Christ) be on us, and on our children.” Matthew 27:25. In

response to this what did Jesus do and what did he say. What did Jesus do? He wept, because

his Nation had become blind. Luke 19:41. Then at his dying moments according to Luke 23:34,

he said. “Father forgive them, for they know not what they do” God has forgiven you and he has

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wept for you, but are you still holding onto your tongue. As a result their are four things to

know that can set you free. The truth, the heart, the mind and the tongue. Your tongue can set

you free, or it imprisons you for life. I personally love the Jewish and Muslim Nation. I long for

them to see that we all have one common opponent, the devil.



After you have accepted the fact that you cannot save yourself. By faith you accept Jesus into

your life, by faith you get baptised, by faith you turn from your past life and become a disciple.

Faith then is the key to unlock the gates of heaven and to experience Gods blessing in your life.

Add faith in God to allow Him to confront the sin within you and God Himself will find a

solution for it. Then with the help of the Holy Spirit you can love the Lord your God with all

your heart and with a renewed mind and all your strength. Then with lots of patience and with

His wisdom you can love your neighbour as you love yourself. Trust God for everything and he

will give you the desire of your heart. Let me tell you, I‘m also talking to myself.

Are you Born Again?

If a General does not study the movement of his enemy and the power of his own force, who will win

the war? If a broadcaster does not sound a clear call, who can hear the message? If a lighthouse refuses

to burn at night, who would want to sail in the dark? Hence, what truth a man covers up, will lead

many astray.



For now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know

fully, even as I have been fully known. 1Cor 13:12



Therefore, there is truth outside the flesh and there is some truth inside the flesh.



There is truth inside the flesh and there are many scholars that can teach it. I am not one of them and

have no desire to discuss it whatsoever. Nevertheless, truth that comes from God is found only in the

spirit and only few searches after it. This verse is true in the flesh, for that very reason, how do I get to

know God more intimately or more importantly how does God converse with me personally?



Because we are flesh and spirit and God is Spirit, the communication can only be done through the

spirit. Therefore, to receive clear messages from God, the flesh must expire daily.



How does the flesh expire daily?



Jesus said Luke 9:23 "If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross

daily and follow me.‖



It simply means we must trust God through the inspiration of the Word of God or the manual of God,

the Bible not doubting it in any form whatsoever. The minute we say but or what about then we either

subtract or add on things that were never designed for us to have life in abundance!



In a nutshell, how do we die daily?



I appeal to you therefore, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy

and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship. Do not be conformed to this world, but

be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of

God, what is good and acceptable and perfect. Rom 12:1-2



Before we start to uncover the quote of Jesus Christ on the subject of Born Again, I want to direct you

to interesting quote of the Bible.



―None of the rulers of this age understood this, for if they had, they would not have crucified the

Lord of glory. But, as it is written, "What no eye has seen, nor ear heard, nor the heart of man

imagined, what God has prepared for those who love him"-- these things God has revealed to us

through the Spirit. For the Spirit searches everything, even the depths of God. For who knows a



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person's thoughts except the spirit of that person, which is in him? So also no one comprehends

the thoughts of God except the Spirit of God. Now we have received not the spirit of the world,

but the Spirit who is from God, that we might understand the things freely given us by God. And

we impart this in words not taught by human wisdom but taught by the Spirit, interpreting

spiritual truths to those who are spiritual‖. 1Co 2:8-13



―No eye has seen, nor ear heard, nor the heart of man imagined‖. This quote from Paul cannot happen,

nor could it be understood in the flesh, neither can it be experienced on this planet or any other that we

decide to move to. What we invest while in the flesh, we will take pleasure in heaven or sadly, the

anguish in hell.



Some are taught by intelligent flesh and even use the Bible as a support of reference. They even

practice Jesus, casting out demons and healing the sick, yet sadly they never met the Saviour of the

world personally.



Who is born on earth?



You may think that this is a unintelligent question, are we not all born on earth? No, we not.



Yes, it is true, we are all born from our parents, and they were born from their parents and so forth,

yet ultimately we were created, not born. Gen 1:27 ―So God created man in his own image, in the image

of God he created him; male and female he created them.‖ Did you take note that we were created in

the image of God; therefore, we were created with the spirit of God in us. When the first Adam

disobeyed the Word of God, he tarnished the spirit and gave birth to dead children. Consequently, all

have died and all have fallen short of the Kingdom of God. If we are all dead, what is the point of this

book, or more importantly, the Bible? We might as well eat drink and be merry.



Who is then the first born?



―Grace to you and peace from him who is and who was and who is to come, and from the seven

spirits who are before his throne, and from Jesus Christ the faithful witness, the firstborn of the

dead, and the ruler of kings on earth. To him who loves us and has freed us from our sins by his

blood.‖ Rev 1:4-5



Did you notice that He, Jesus Christ is the first born of the dead? That simply means he was the first to

be born, before Him ALL men were dead. Now notice a startling scripture recorded by the apostle

Paul. Acknowledge this; the Bible always interprets itself, another great rule of Bible study.



―[Jesus Christ] is the image of the invisible God, the firstborn of every creature...and He is the

head of the Body, the Church: who is the beginning, the firstborn from the dead; that in all things

He might have the pre-eminence‖ Col. 1:15,18.



Notice, ―Who is the beginning‖ He is the ―beginning‖ of those others who will receive eternal life at His

Return—when the resurrection of the dead occurs. ―Beginning‖ references who is first. If Jesus Christ

then is the firstborn, he is then not the only Son in God‘s Plan. More will follow Him, that means others

will be born after him or can I be more specific and say, Born Again after Him. These are called to

become younger brothers and sisters with Jesus. If Jesus is firstborn, all others would be ―second-

born,‖ ―third-born,‖ ―hundredth-born,‖ and so on, children born of God.



When are we Born Again?



Many speak of having been ―born again.‖ Millions think that after becoming ―Saved‖, ―Believers in

Jesus Christ‖ they have been ―Born Again.‖ Just by professing Jesus as your Saviour, you were taught

that you were Born Again, the kind of ―new birth‖, that somehow mysteriously you were ―born a

second time‖ and after that comes your Christian duties.







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What does the Bible teach about being Born Again, and what did Jesus really say about it? I must tell

you I have been very disappointed by the ―Church‖ on many subjects and for me to find the truth after

fifty years is very disheartening to say the least. It just proves that even the Church are gullible and will

swallow anything, hook line and sinker. The more I open the Bible, the more I uncover the missing

links to life in abundance.



Most Christians presume the Bible says what they have been taught to believe it says. They have been

trained by the same teaches that have been trained by the same doctrines. They believe being ―born

again‖ occurs in this life, upon ―receiving Jesus as their personal savior.‖ But this is NOT what the

Word of God teaches me. ―Born again‖ has nothing whatsoever to do with ―professing Jesus‖ or ―just

believing in your heart‖ or ―giving your heart to the Lord‖.



Jesus taught us, ―Except a man be BORN AGAIN, he cannot see the kingdom of God‖ John 3:3.



Grasp the words of Jesus and think about them carefully. When we are Born Again we have the ability

to ―see God‘s kingdom‖. One had better comprehend the enormous importance of how and when

people are Born Again!



When Jesus said ―Except a man,‖ He left no room for misunderstanding. Also, if one believes

conversion allows a person to ―see the kingdom,‖ then he must believe the kingdom is here. If this were

true, then eyes can see, ears can hear and the heart of man can imagined, what God has prepared for us

who love him. Let me go on to say, the Church will be even more dissatisfied by what little they received

from God for their labour they have given Him.



John 3:3 makes it absolutely clear that one is Born Again after the death of the flesh and this would

take place at the Resurrection. So then, only at that point will—or can—anyone ―see the kingdom of

God‖. To see and enter God‘s kingdom, you must become spirit. This will be clear. Because we are

physical, we see in a mirror dimly, but on that resurrected day when we are Born Again we will see and

more than likely say; WOW-WOW-WOW.



Get this!!! Entering the kingdom is impossible for them, because scripture states, ―flesh and

blood CANNOT INHERIT the kingdom of God‖ 1 Cor. 15:50



Jesus explains what it means to be ―born of water and of the Spirit‖ and why, if this does not happen,

one ―cannot enter into the kingdom of God‖ John 3:5. Yes, the kingdom is something that can be

―entered into.‖ Jesus explains, ―That which is born of the flesh IS flesh,‖ but also ―‖ John 3:6.



Jesus wanted no room for a misinterpreted message, He likened the spirit to wind. Wind, like spirit, is

invisible. ―The wind blows where it [does], and you hear the sound thereof, but cannot tell from that

which is born of the Spirit IS spirit where it comes, and where it goes: so is everyone that is born of the

Spirit‖ John 3:8. Those born of spirit will be like wind—they will be invisible! But human beings are

flesh and blood, and can be seen.



There are going to be those that will store up poverty in their lives and there are going to be

those that will store up riches in their lives. There are those that will store their wealth in

heavenly places, so whether you store it on earth or in heaven, your heart will be where your

riches are. My prayer for us is, that our hearts might respond to what our mind knows to be

true. I have come to the conclusion that imbedded in our innermost being is the longing to die

empty; by this token for me to give my very best, is of utmost importance.



In other words a pregnant woman show and glow, while fat groan and moan. (Please apply

this figure of speech to spiritual, not to woman). Christians can hear the voice of God as an

unborn child can listen to the tones of its mother, nevertheless, can only [see] the kingdom at

birth. As it is in the physical, [flesh gives birth to flesh] so it is in the spiritual [spirit gives birth

to spirit].

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It matters not who I am, or what I am. All that matters is that we fight the good fight, take on

the challenges that lie ahead, and strive for the crown God has prepared for us. I am sure that

for the majority, you knew where this book was heading, who the characters are and from

where it was taken. For those who are still somewhat in the dark, allow me to share with you,

the significance of the story, other than the swearing and explicit scenes. [This book was never

devoted to those who are the ―righteous few‖. Therefore, my apologies to those sensitive

readers.] My only regret would be, that I might have been insensitive to the one that made this

book a reality. My prayer is simply this,



―I am a man of unclean lips, create in me a pure heart, O God and restore my salvation. I live

amongst a people of unclean lips, restore to them a new heart and give our world a new release

of life.‖



From the comments I‘ve received, none has been so harsh as from my fellow brothers and

sisters in the Lord. Therefore, I will give an account to them and I hope that this would suffice.

Firstly, let us look at the background to the Church. Jesus and his very plain disciples spent

their time with very simple fisherman, prostitutes and the like. Assuming Jesus came in this

day and age to the very same kind of people, the language in this book would be very mild

indeed. Be that as it may, let us look at the Church. Where has it failed and what can we learn

from it?



Firstly, Jesus commands us to go out into the world and teach all nations ... (Matthew 28:19).

The Bible doesn‘t ask us to ring a bell and hope the people will automatically come to Christ. It

would be interesting to make a note, of how many Christians come from the Believers womb.



Secondly, since when have we become so pious that we have to look down on other saints from

the all-powerful pulpit, towering over the grand stage? If you want status in the kingdom of

God, become a servant.



Thirdly, why do the leaders have to have a collar and a gown, who are they trying to impress,

―freemasonry‖. No wonder the average person does not want to listen, they have no hope of

ever achieving that kind of ―godly‖ standard.



Fourthly, since when does ―Fathers‖, ―Priests‖, ―Pastors‖, ―Teachers‖ or ―Ministers‖ of the

Gospel, have to have a degree. ―Have we become so heavenly minded, that we are of no earthly

good?‖ ―Is not all Christians ministers of the Gospel?‖ ―Are not all Christians gifted with the

Holy Spirit?‖



Let me tell you something interesting! If you have understood the Gospel, turned your back

on the past and you have accepted Jesus as your personal Saviour, you are a Christian. If you

have shared the Gospel to another, you are a Minister. If you have lead another Saint to

wholeness, you are a Pastor or Shepherd. If you believe that you have taught the way of truth,

you are a student of the teacher.

If you don‘t believe me checkout the Bible. I believe God for a big change in the world,

beginning with us in Cape Town. I can also tell you, the devil doesn‘t like me at all, because I

haven‘t got much, in the way of schooling to brag about. I have had to rely on the Word of

God for all my answers to living and everlasting life. Because a teacher teaches, he has an

added burden of possibly teaching a false doctrine purposefully or by accident. Therefore as

students of Gods grace I plead with you to pray for me now for His wisdom in my life. Be

aware of educators, check and double-check their teachings with the Word of God.





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When South Africa was part of the apartheid system, only a few questioned the sins of the

powers that was. Like sheep we all were led astray, and we accepted the system as the only

way. ―Was it the only way?‖ No!!! Not in a million years. The same can be said about the

standard that God has set out for all mankind. ―Does any religion work for God?‖ Not

according to the Word of God. How many would like to take the stand for truth. Remember,

the truth sets people free, religion, tradition, and mans philosophy are all but bondage to them.



I‘m often confronted with this question.



―Kevin, why do you want to give this book away, if you can sell it and make some money?‖



Not that I have ever been tempted to go that route.



I think it is a good question and needs to be addressed. I say it is a good question, because, as I

type this line, my family and I can barely live off the little income we have, to meet our own

needs. We don‘t own any assets that we can fall back on and we certainly live by faith. Then

why on earth do we want to give a million or more books away? Well, Jesus paid a price for

me and my household and that we call ―Salvation‖, this salvation is free of charge. Other than

the vision that I had, when I saw myself giving these books away. The Holy Spirit has played a

major roll in my life. A quote out of the book of Haggai, one of the minor Prophets made me

take stoke of my life. You must understand this prophet was one of the last prophets the Old

Testament Scriptures. It was just before you enter the New Testament, the third book from the

life of Jesus Christ.



“You have sown much, and brought in little. You eat, but never have enough. You drink, but

never have your fill. You clothe yourself, but are not warm. You hire yourself out to earn money,

only to put the money in a wallet with holes pierced through it.”

Haggai 1:6



“You expected much, but see, it turned out to be little. What you brought home, I blew it away.”

Haggai 1:9



Sound familiar to you. I was working hard, yet I was earning little. I was giving my all and yet

the all I gave, turned into dust. Then the Lord said to me. “Store up for yourself treasure in

heaven, where moth and rust cannot corrupt and where thieves cannot break through nor steal.”

Mat 6:19-20. Although I had some earthly wealth, I was empty inside. I needed God to change

my ―heart of stone‖ for a ―heart of flesh‖. Then the Lord opened my eyes further through the

book of Haggai.



“Go up the mountains and bring down timber and build the house, so that I may take pleasure in

it and be honoured, said God Almighty.‖

Haggai 1:8



Haggai is one of the last Prophets before Jesus came onto the scene. While Jesus took his last

breath, the entrance of the most Holy Place in the Temple was divided into two from the top to

the bottom. While the Temple curtains were splitting so to were the earth‘s surface vibrating,

to the point that even rocks began to split in two. Mat 27:51.

This Holy Place is where The Almighty God took residence. Since the Temple, the house of

God was destroyed; it remains a grave sight to the Jews and a mystery to the Gentiles. Have

you ever given this much thought? ―Why, do you think the Almighty God wants us to build a

Temple when for two thousand years, there is no Temple?‖ Because you are the Temple of the

Almighty God when you accept the Holy Spirit into your life.

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“Do you know that you are the temple of God, and that the Spirit of God dwells in you?‖

1 Cor 3:16



Do you see what I see? By me sharing the good news with you, you can accept the Lord Jesus

Christ into your life. He will take away all your sin and nail it to the Cross of Calvary. Then

God will live in you and you will become the Temple of the Holy Spirit. Now look at Haggai

one more time.



“You expected much, but see, it turned out to be little. What you brought home, I blew it away,

why? Declares the Lord Almighty. Because of My house, which remains a ruin, while each of you

is busy with his own house.”

Haggai 1:9



Think about it this way. You are a house; there are powerful forces within you that want to

keep you away from the Holy Spirit. If those forces succeed, you will die with them. If

however, you give your temple, (your life) over to God and allows the Holy Spirit in you; He

will give you so much life, you would have wished to have been born again by Him, along time

ago. The fact is that although I have nothing to offer, other than a teaching spirit. I will trust

God to supply these books to you. Nevertheless, the fact is that for the best part of the story

you were reading parts of the Bible. Israel is very much like South Africa; everything is

negotiated from a political stand. It will take a short fuse for man to digress. Change on the

other hand, will take a miracle.



In the story, Deus is God and let say for the sake of my critics, I just found it in a

dictionary, look it up.

Victor Crosswell is a type of Jesus Christ,

Rocky is a type of Peter the apostle,

the Holy Colleague is a type of the Holy Spirit,

―Whities‖ are a type of the Israelites and so on.



As for the spirit that tells the story, I think there is something we can all learn. As an eaglet‘s

wing was designed to mount, so too does the poor bird‘s mind doubt that it‘s going to fly.

Without loving parents the eagle will never do what it was born to do. In order to increase our

faith, we need to trust and obey.



The law is just a mirror, it can neither save nor can it cleanse our sin. It is only a mirror and

not a way of escape. Therefore, it is not the Bible that saves, nor any other book, but the truth

of the Word plus the power of the Holy Spirit that saves the seeking soul and sets it free. It is

not the legal bondage that saves, but the freedom of knowing the Word (John 1:1). Jesus

Christ is in the Word and the Word is in Jesus Christ and as a result the Word saves and

restores the lost, through a measure of faith.



―There is now no condemnation for those in me, their sins have been removed as far from the

east is to the west and I, King Jesus will remember them no more, and be aware of this, no eye

has seen, no ear has heard, what my father has prepared for those who love him, and are

prepared to sit in ‗His wheelbarrow‘.‖





---§§§---







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Now my question to you would be? What would be different and how would it be different, if

the Lord Jesus Christ came in this day and age? Would swearing automatically stop? Would

graffiti in the public toilet end? Would fighting and war cease? Would rape disappear? Would

immoral living suddenly stop? Would drugs be unheard of? Would poverty be eradicated?

Would theft be a thing of the past? Would all relationships be the same with God? Would

verbal and physical abuse only be a part of our past history? Would an affair only take place

in the marriage? Would the power of the mind change the world?



I think not, however, would we become ―a type of Rocky‖ if the story became applicable in our

lives? Or would we be too good, too cultured that not even the Son of God, nor the Spirit of

God, draws you and me to Himself? Remember this much, a shrewd mind and an empty heart,

inherits emptiness. Being a slave to fear will not bring one back to God, but the sweet

attraction of His love captivates us to ―the matter of the heart‖ that is ―the heart of Jesus‖. Are

we thirsting for the living God and unhappy because we cannot find Him to the delight of our

hearts? Have we lost the joy of God‘s likeness that our prayer should begin with…



―O Lord, restore to my soul, the joy of Your Salvation?‖



Are we aware also, that we are empty like the dessert; that we are not bringing forth the fruit

of God which is - love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness and faithfulness. Then here is

exactly the promise, which we need. The Lord says.



―I will sprinkle clean water on you and you will be clean; I will cleanse you from all your

impurities and from all your idols. I will give you a new heart and put a new Spirit in you; I

will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh or will you continue to

be like the prostitute who washes the outside every time she defiles the temple of God.‖



You and I shall receive the grace we desperately need, and we will receive it. Although it was

never cheap, it is free and it is for everyone. All the riches of His divine grace we will receive,

we shall be as if we were saturated with it. However, ‗the heart of the caterpillar‘, is based on

the fact that the Messiah has come to give salvation free of charge to everyone who accepts it.

Nonetheless, it neither was cheap, nor can his gift be refunded. This gift needs to be shared

before the Messiah returns. At the twinkling of the eye He will separate the weeds from the

true disciples! As Noah was shut in, that he couldn‘t even desire to come out till the known

world ended, so those who are in Christ Jesus; are in Him forever.



You may rise from reading this book with all your sins pardoned; and although you ascended

this morning with every sin that man has ever committed on your head, you shall rest tonight

having been accepted by the Lord Jesus. Yesterday you were degraded with the rags of sin, but

today you will be adorned with a robe of righteousness and appear as white as snow.



For ―now,‖ mark it. ―Now is the accepted time.‖



If you ―believe in Him who justifies the ungodly, you are saved.‖



Yes! May the Spirit of God give you His saving faith in Him who receives the vilest of

the vilest? When Cape Town flooded its banks, the rats exposed themselves to the light. So it

will be on the day when the Spirit of God floods our city. You may hate these ―vermin‖ and

rightfully so, nonetheless they will be exposed. Destroy the evil Spirit, remold the flesh, but

save the ―souls‖ of the desperate, who are in need of the love of Jesus, as they who belong to





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Him are. The heart that is skilled in doing evil will drive a stake through itself; while the

tender heart that acknowledges the truth, will develop a farm with a single seed of faith.



Hence;



―The heart of the caterpillar.‖



Is the starting place of the heart? By the way, the ecstasy of satan‘ heart is for you to remain a

traditional religious fanatic. For in so doing without the personal relationship with God, you

will remain on the fringe tips of heaven. Remember this, you don‘t get saved from eternal hell

to change the flesh, you invite the Holy Spirit into your life for a life eternally and as a result

the flesh submits to the new Spirit of God. It is not a religion, you do not change because you

have to, you change because you desire to by faith and that pleases God immensely. A final

reminder to everyone:



―Be mindful of this, the patience of God is to expand His salvation to all.‖



Why wait till man‘s intolerance moves God to act justly against them as He has in the past?

You are not a body with a spirit dying; you are a spirit with a body dying!!!! Feed that which

is going to live forever. ―From dust to dust, the body returns.‖ The Spirit, on the other hand

goes to the place you exposed it to. A new leaf, changes life for a season - a new life, changes

our existence forever. On the day you had been given a chance, the spirit belonged to God, do

not sell the only truth for a life of eternal agonising gloomy despair. Every soul brought to

Christ, is possibly a new creation birthed for heaven. Just a passing thought; As a Queen in

His Kingdom, I‘m writing this message to make you think, so don‘t forget... “Life begins at any

age, just where the root ends!”



Most sermons end with the benediction, but my son has to fart in the middle of the prayer in

the centre of the local church we attended. The power and potency of his violent action made

me wonder what on earth did he consume that morning. Was it rotting ostrich eggs mixed with

dried fruit? Who knows, but a large percentage of the congregation knew it was he, for he

could not hide his blunder under his naughty chuckle. As for Cheryl and I, we wanted to ring

his neck, and then came the benediction from Jude. ―To Him who is able to keep you from

falling and present you before His glorious presence, without fault …‖ ―Without Fault‖. Yes,

without fault I ask you, looking at my son, I had to accept the fact that if God accepts us as

dirty rotten sinner as we are, who are we to judge His character.



I would like to end with how God taught me a lesson through my son. It was a Saturday

afternoon; I was resting on the bed watching the sports channel, when I heard my daughter

and wife scream, simultaneously. Like a rocket I moved from a comfortable bed, almost

removing the hinges from the door, ran as fast as I could, because this was a HELP call. ―Dad,

they are beating Kaylim up in the park!‖ Like lighting, I flew out the house to the park; true

there was a boy twice his size beating him with a bat. I grabbed the boy by the neck, picked

him up by the neck with his feet dangling on the ground, in full view of all the witnesses and

throttled him. Then I heard Kaylim‘ voice, say. ―Dad, dad, STOP, dad you are going to kill

him!!!‖ Immediately, I came to my senesces and released my grip on the boy. ―No one touches

my family, I‘m like a bull that sees red, if you touch my household.‖ Do you see a picture or

should I paint this one for you. I could have rested back, for it was a Sabbath, then told my

wife Cheryl, to sort it out as she is the mother, or I could have thought that it was more than

likely Kaylim‘ fault anyway and let him fight his own battles or I could have said something

like; ―he doesn‘t do what I ask him to do, just look at his room and besides he farts in church.‖

I could have continued watching TV, because I was in the middle of my game. If I‘m an ―evil‖

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father for the sake of my family, I will protect them and support them with all my strength,

how much more will your heavenly father protect and support you! This is the lesson, those

that belong to Him, ―SHOUT!‖ God is waiting for your call, even if it is for someone else. Can

you see God run out of His Holy Place, grab satan by the scruff of his neck and beat the living

daylights out of him, I can. Remember this, Christians have died to sin the second they are

born again by the Holy Spirit, and therefore they will never die (spiritually) again. However,

they are only temporally living on earth with the sole determination to share the Gospel of

Jesus Christ, and that‘s how it should be.



From as far back as I can remember, I begged for life to sustain me.

From as early as eleven, you, the people of Cape Town, met some of

my needs physically and financially.

It is now payback time, for what the generous have given me.

I hope to give you more.

I hope that the moral of the story,

tastes better than the craving of your stomach.

As an eagle, I will preach of His goodness above the clouds and when

the storm is over, I will plan breakfast outside while the budgie sings.









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Reminders I am to do today to change my life forever!

I am Beginning a New Life Today.

I am Not Worried about tomorrow for it cannot buy me Time, nor am I

Worried about yesterday, because I cannot replace it.

I am Only Thinking of today because it is the Day the Lord has made.

I am Greeting this day with Love in my Heart, with Mercy towards others.

I am Praising my Enemies and doing Good to them.

I am Loving Myself as the one who Loved me Enough to give up His own Life

for me.

I am Avoiding Negative Thoughts and Words and I‘m not allowing this day to

end in failure.

I am Striving to help others to become Successful, with all the Wisdom Granted

me.

I am Teaching myself and Present myself as a student of the Teacher to lead

others 100% better than Yesterday.

I am Dressed for Success, I Speak boldly and act Wisely because I‘m a Diamond

in Progress.

I am Greeting this day with the Best Attitude.

I am Treating everyone with Tenderness and Compassion as if it were the last

days of their lives.

I am Being a Good Listener and Praising people for their Deeds.

I am Not allowing my Emotions rule my day.

I am Not Fearing that which lies ahead of me, Nor will I make rash Decisions

when I‘m on top form or at my lowest Ebb.

I am Laughing at the world, I am laughing at myself, and I am laughing at my

Failures and my Successes.

I am Remembering that my Investment is in the world; yet my Interest is in

heaven.

I am Setting goals for today that will double my Productivity and Profitability of

Yesterday.

I am Sharing my goals with Godly people only, yet I‘m sharing my wealth with

the Poor and Broken hearten.

I am Attempting to help others make a way to become Physically, Spiritually,

Mentally, Psychologically, Socially and Financially Independent.

I am Giving my First Portion to the Lord, because He‘s given me His very best

Portion.

I am Saving the Second Portion of my Income, never to be in Debt to anyone.

I am Praising my God with all my Heart and Soul and Strength and Glorifying

His Name Forever.

I am Rich in everyway, because I am generous on every occasion.

I am Loving my Neighbour, as I‘m Loving Myself.

I am Has overcome I will on the Cross, therefore Greater is He that is in me

than he that is in the world.



With the help of my Lord and Saviour, I am



God Richly Bless You.







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¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤

If you wish to send me a short comment, correct or rebuke my teaching, or be in favour of and/or be

prepared to sponsor in whatever way, my details are:





Kevin Rich Tel/Fax. +27 21 975 2836 (O)

18b Lobelia Street Tel. +27 21 987 8290 (H)

Durbanville Cell +2782 960 7720

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A reminder, Independent Living Association is a non-profit organisation (NPO no. 005-113)

and therefore, will be a tax-deductible instrument in the hands of a donor in terms of sect. 18A

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Building Space, Office equipment, A4 paper, Ink and Printing Machinery, Children‘s

Schoolbooks and Learning Materials, Clothing and/or Shoes, Sleeping Bags and Camping

Equipment, we will receive it with great joy. We have sown a mind-altering seed amongst you

for your own good, is it too much if we ask for material benefits from you, so that we can sow

more seed?



¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤

To give more than a million copies of this book away, your support will come in handy.



Thank you, and God Bless you.



A passing thought to feed your mind.

If you want to be loved, start by putting your arm around someone.

If you need joy, start by sharing your testimony with someone.

If you need peace, Love your enemies.

If you want to be healed, visit the sick.

If you need your finances met, give your first portion away.

If you want knowledge and wisdom, teach someone else what you already know.

If you want to change your life, feed your soul with something Good.

If you want to change your spouse, ignite your heart with kindness towards her.

If you want to change your children, set the example.

If you want to see changes in the world, start making changes for the better at your home.

Remember this book is just a letter and the letter kills, however this letter can leads you to the book of Life, who is the

Spirit of life, who is the gift of life.

Therefore, relinquish this book to a neighbour, after you have read it!

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―Without faith it is impossible to please God…‖ Heb 11:6









Dreams and Visions 195

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First signs of Grace in my life.



I was born into an abusive, alcoholic, sub standard world, with a level set for me, that

had I followed, would have led me into the darkest dwelling of my soul. At the age of

eleven, I was tossed into the world, with little to no skills to defend for myself. While still

a Street-child, the God we all respect had His hand upon my life. The evidence could

be seen throughout the darkest night, yet while I could see, it was so until twilight.

“Take a man by the hand and pray for him, and you will see the land of the man change

for him.” A quote by the Holy Spirit



Somebody has been interceding for me!



1. The voice spoke and I obeyed.

Towards the end of April 1980. I met a group of true born-again teenage

Christians, filled with the Holy Spirit and on fire for the Lord. In my ignorance, I

said to myself, “Lord, if that is what Christianity is all about – make me like them!” I

did not know that God had just then answered my silent prayer. The truth be

known, I did not even know I was praying to the Almighty God. A week or two

later, I made my confession and my commitment to the King of kings. I said, I

would become His disciple and I would follow Him, wherever He had planned to

lead me. In the beginning of May 1980, I heard a very distinct voice in my room, a

voice spoke, as if a person was standing and talking to me in my room. I was

more than alarmed; I was petrified, yet, in a state of peace. I cannot explain it. The

unseen person in my room said, “Pack your belongings, leave your job and follow

Jesus.” Terrified, yet with great joy and peace I replied to the voice, with

obedience, said “I will”. My first great joy in trusting the Lord came with a trial, a

test and a delight as I uncovered how faith works. I was taken in by a Baptist

Pastor, Norman and Garbi his wife. I could not have asked for two of the best

discipleship years ever, which I believe were crucial to the rest of my Christian

walk.

A story not likely to make the local papers.



2. I quitted before I received my new birth.

I dreamt that I woke up late for work, with much speed and energy still managed

to catch the bus on time. Whilst still in my dream, I realized that I had left my

packed of twenties behind. After spending the morning without a smoke, I found

myself in a queue at the local café for a fix. My mind is reasoning with my body as

I get closer to the till; “You have not smoked for several hours and yet you do not

feel the need to light up a cigarette, why not try quit the habit and see. I woke up

that morning just as I had dreamt and then copied my dream accurately



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throughout the day. However, I think the most exciting part of my day was not that

I had stopped smoking or copied a dream. For me the most exciting part is that I

only remembered my dream several hours after the facts had taken place. For

three months I walked around with an almost full pack of twenties in my top

pocked and I never had the urge to smoke one, till I gave it away and told

everyone I have quitted.



3. The visions of the light and the rats in the cave.

Our little Baptist youth had the privilege to attend a youth camp in Glencairn. As a

toddler in Christ, who lived and breathed like others, yet no longer belonged to the

world, went to the coast at midnight to pray and seek our Lord‟ face. While sitting

on the rock watching the shallow waves gently break in the ocean. It did not occur

to me that the streetlights that raised themselves on the waves were also causing

a shattering light as the ocean built itself to get rougher as time passed. While

focussing on the shattering light I slipped into a vision. I was curious and followed

myself into a cave. What seemed not to inconvenience me was the fact that the

deeper I travelled in the cave the darker it became. Fear griped me when I

realised I did not know my way back. I was soon lost in darkness without the lights

guidance. In the outline of utter-darkness, I gathered that rats were gathering in

number to lash out their hunger on my soft fleshly tissue. In fear, I began to back-

peddle, and then I ran in a direction that hopefully would loose my enemies. I ran

in total faith, with my hands out for help, for protection and for hope. The enemy

was at my heals; therefore, I simply ran for life. I continued to run until I saw the

vaguest of light shinning in the distance. My focus on the light became sharper

and more directed. I overlooked the thought that rats were in pursued. In reality,

the closer I got to the light, the rarer the rats became. By the time I got outside the

cave, the rats had gone, yet what amazed me even more was, throughout my

vision my eyes never left its sight, it was locked on the light on the waves.



4. A desire to know Gods will for my life.

Because of my deep-seated knowledge that I belonged to Christ I needed to know

His will for my life. Therefore, my search to know His will began in 1982.

Some say that there is no God, or if there was, he is dead.

I tell you the truth - If what you say is true, who then, is living in me?



5. From WOW Team to Bible College

From WOW (Win Our World) Team to Rosebank Bible College the Lord revealed

His Word to me as a calling to full time Service.

While at college, I learnt an amazing truth about myself. I learnt that God Himself

classed me as a “Pharisee”, not by the college faculty or by my enthusiasm, no by

God Himself. I had me, my Bible, my prayer group and my Church in full focus

and I thought that is it, that‟ what it‟s all about. I believe the Spirit of God showed

me how to remove my blinkers and without permission from the earth, I went with

the Holy Spirit to an upmarket pub in Rosebank, JHB and there I believe God

showed me true Christianity. This may disturb some religious toes, Mat 11:19 “The

Son of Man came eating and drinking, and they say, „Look at him! A glutton and

a drunkard, a friend of tax collectors and sinners!‟ Yet wisdom is justified by her



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deeds.” This comment from Jesus changed my Theological mindset forever, to

reach the world like a doctor reaches the sick, may mean we would have to come

out of our churchly securities!



6. My Calling is founded on these words.

My Calling to His Service

A Quitter Never Wins - A Winner Never Quits.

Luke 16:13........... No servant can serve two masters...

Matthew 21:28b... Son, go work in my vineyard...

Hebrews 4:7b....... Today, if you hear His voice, do not harden your heart.

Luke 12:47........... That servant who knows His Masters will and does not get ready or

does not do what His master wants will be beaten with many blows.

Hebrews 10:38.... But my righteous one will live by faith. If he shrinks back, I will not be

pleased with him.

Matthew 9:37b... The harvest is plentiful but the workers are few.

Matthew 7:24a... Therefore everyone who hears these words of mine and puts them into

practice is like a wise man.

Psalm 84:11....... For the Lord is a sun and shield; the Lord bestows favour and honour;

no good thing does He withhold

Philippians 4:6... Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and

petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.

1 Kings 20:13b-15 Do you see this vast army? I will give it into your hand today, and then

you will know that I am the Lord ... 232 men... Then He assembled the

rest of the Israelites 7000 in all.

2 Cor. 9:11........... You will be made rich in every way so that you can be generous on

every occasion, and through us your generosity will result in

Thanksgiving to God.



Isaiah 42:16......... I will lead the blind by ways they have not known; along unfamiliar

paths I will guide them.

Luke 4:4 / Jn 6:51 Man does not live on bread alone. "I am the living bread that came

down from heaven. If a man eats of this bread, he will live forever.

Isaiah 42:14........ For a long time I have kept silent, I have been quite and held myself

back. But now, like a woman in childbirth I cry out, I gasp and pant.

1 Corinthians 2:9.... No eye has seen, no ear has heard, and no mind has imagined what

God has prepared for those who love Him.

Philippians 1:6....... And I am sure that God, who began the good work within you, will

continue His work until it is finally finished on that day when Christ

Jesus comes back again.

Habakkuk 1:5….. Look to the nations and watch. Be amazed and astonished for I the

Lord your God am going to do something in your days that you would

not believe, even if it were told.

Habakkuk 2:2-3.. And the LORD answered me: "Write the vision; make it plain on tablets,

so he may run who reads it. For still the vision awaits its appointed

time; it hastens to the end--it will not lie. If it seems slow, wait for it; it

will surely come; it will not delay.



Everyman on earth owes the Jewish Nation great allegiance and

respect, because every quote that I have quoted comes from a

Manual written by the hand of Dedicated Hebrews.



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7. The dream of a baby boy to a mother who was told she could have no

children.

The first startling dream I had is about a married couple in our local Church. I

dreamt that the wife gave birth to a beautiful boy. After the Church Service, I

approached her and told her about my dream. She became emotional, infuriated

by my insensitive nature, walked off with her head downcast. Soon after this, her

husband approached me to let me know that I am not to upset his wife, as she is

unable to have children. I did apologise, as I did not know that several Doctors

and Specialists had already prepared her exclusively of her cross that she would

have to carry. I gave it no thought, till a few months later, when my x-wife and I

was invited over for a Saturday lunch. They could hold their excitement no longer,

she was pregnant. One year later, I was told that my dream was not accurate

because they had a girl. I saw a boy in my dream and I could not be mistaken for

anything ells. Years later however, I bumped into her and her three children and

the boy holding her hand, is the one I dreamt about.



8. The dream of a Missionary‘ pregnant wife.

The only other couple to be invited to the above mentioned lunch was a German

missionary couple that have been called to share Christ to the Islamic community.

The subject of the dream came up at dinner and after sharing it again. I was told

clearly, by a very serious German Missionary male figure that there was just no

possible way that they would be having children anytime soon. The reason their

plans did not involve children anytime soon; because of the work to reach

Muslims was too important a task. No one dare challenge a German Missionary

on the matter, until after I woke-up the following day. You see, during that night I

had a dream. In the dream I saw his wife walk through their passage from the

shower. No mistake about the dream, she was in her last stages of pregnancy

and by the size of her tummy, it looked like a team of babies. For safety sake, I

decided not to share the dream with her, but rather with the head of the home.

Well, you can just picture the stout German imagery, no let me be more honest

than that, they make fantastic parents to their netball team of girls.



9. The vision of the fist of God, stamping out the Company, I was a director

of.

I was the director for a well-known Sign-Manufacturing Co. that at the time was

sixty-six years old. Most of the long familiar Sign Employers and directors today

did their apprenticeships there. For me it was nothing more than an unsatisfied

job. During my normal customary routine of the plant, I saw a vision. I was on my

way up the only flight of steps to check on the work in progress in the persex

department. The Lord stopped me halfway up the stairways to show me this

picture. I saw the fist of God in operation, as this giant fist and stamp, stamped the

building. The stamp covered the entire building. I did not have to make out the

stamp; it was a stamp I had used in a small business I started before. Within one

year of having seen the vision, the company was no more.



10. The vision of eating in heaven one day with the Lord.

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Between 1985 – 1989, several of us worked exceptionally hard to bring the gospel

to Cape Town and our success, failure made us search deeper after the Lord.

We decided to skip Sunday lunch as an offering and pray for Cape Town. I saw

several visions in this meeting with our father, and this is one that stays with me. I

saw a table set on the clouds, a solid gold table with the finest artistry, the table

was sent with the finest crockery and cutlery ever seen. Now for the best part, I

was sitting next to Jesus for a meal I had never eaten before, or since. For the

highlights were, that Jesus and I spoke to each other as if we were the only ones

in heaven, yet every seat at the table was occupied.





11. The vision of a Novel being handed out in St. Georges Mall.









In 1990, I saw myself in this vision standing on the corner of St. Georges Mall, a

very busy thoroughfare of Cape Town. Next to me I had a pile of books stacked,

ready to be handed out. Then I saw myself handing these books out to the people

passing by.

In my vision I saw various curios readers take an interest in this book. I watched

people read it as my spirit followed them. Some read it on the bus; some read it

on the train, there were even a few reading it whilst walking and there was one

person reading and driving her vehicle at the same time (not something I would

recommend). Then I clearly saw a huge fellow (or shall I be more specific, a well-

known figure) make such a spectacle of himself. In spite of his eminence stature, I

saw the angels jump and dance before the Lord with joy. Although he is a

prominent figure, he fell on his knees and started crying out loud. He soon drew

attention to himself while reading the book I had handed out. The tears of his soul

had fallen on the pages, as if he had experienced something out of the novel he



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was reading. Needless to say, this attracted the crowd to me. They demanded the

book from me; so much so, I couldn‟t keep up with the pace. Unmistakably, I

needed helpers as the demand became too much for me. My spirit continues to

follow these people to their various homes. My - my, there were many crying as

they were reading this book. Then I saw myself look at this book for the first time.

That was strange I thought, very strange… „My name is on the cover?‟ „My name

is on the cover?‟ „My name is on the cover?‟ I then turned to the Almighty and

said. “This is impossible, I cannot write?” You see, I cannot spell and I cannot

read properly. How then can I write a book? My argument was long and hard with

the Sovereign Lord. “I‟m dyslexic?” and on and on I go. I then sought advice from

leaders, then from my family and friends. Other than my wife, Cheryl who

supported me throughout my venture and a few close friends, all the others

proved fruitless. The only encouragement I got was a blank stare. Those that

knew me must have thought I was losing it. Nonetheless, I continued to see

visions relating to the book. Then I turned to my Lord once again, and said. “I will

write this book on one condition, you supply me with a computer?” This „book

thing‟ was starting to scare me, when the answer came the following day. “What

now, can I, should I, must I back out now?” I gave it some thought, and then

started writing, with the thought that a book will never take form.



12. The dream of the Church climbing up the mountain to meet with God.



In my dream, I saw our local Church all prepared to climb Table Mountain. We

were rigged for our mission to climb the rocky slopes to meet the Lord on top

where the glory of his spirit will await our arrival. My first wife had decided to

make it known that by her enthusiasm she intended to climb first. I closely behind

gathered the strength to focus my eyes on the pinnacle of His Grace. Gradually

we pulled and pushed others to the middle mark. It was a warm day, but I could

see that my first wife had lost her interest and her enthusiasm collapsed. I took

her load and tried to encourage her to continue. She mustered a little strength

further, but soon tumbled head first downwards. With one hand steady on the

rope and other made free, I managed to catch her by the ankle. Now, with only

one hand to climb, I could not go up neither could I go down, my only way out was

to let go.

(This dream brings tears to eyes and was the hardest dream to grasp and

accept. I lost my first wife under a very traumatic experience.)





13. Norman and I were un-employed, and then Self-pity brought me to my

knees.



After the loss of my job, my wife and material goods, I would take Norman for a

walk, a swim, and just to enjoy his loyalty towards me. On one such day I sat on

the boulders, watched the sun meet the sea and I took the privilege to meet with

my Father. In tears, I said to my God, “Father, I lost my job – I lost my wife and all

I have is Norman!” A prayer I would regret all too soon. Before the weekend

closed Norman‟s kidneys, his liver and life passed him by. The following week I

was sitting on the very same spot with this prayer left, “Lord I have no one left”



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and while I prayed this prayer I realised that my Father, my God had never left me

nor forsaken me.





14. The vision of the snake in the Church.



While worshipping in a Church in Cape Town, with my hands raised to the

heavens the Spirit directed my eyes to the isle where I could visibly see a snake

pass me and make his way to the pulpit. The snake took control of the

microphone and began to preach. At first, I wanted to say something, but the Holy

Spirit showed me that the people could not see the difference between the

snake‟s sermon and the local preachers.

(We live in a world where men are gullible and will swallow anything, hook

line and sinker, as “truth”).





15. A step of faith in the right direction; changed my name from Begg to

Rich.



After having lost all our possessions for a second time, I am travelling home so

that the vehicle I am travelling in - could be impounded. With the knowledge of

having lost everything again, I placed my focus on His calling me to a Full-time

Ministry. Having memorised one of the verses in my calling, I began to repeat it

over again and again. “You will be made rich in every way so that you can be

generous on every occasion, and through us your generosity will result in

Thanksgiving to God.” With this verse pounding in my brain, and without

consulting my wife or my family, I drove purposefully to the Dept. of Home Affairs

and had my name legally changed from Begg to Rich. By doing this, I made a

declaration for the world to know, I am trusting God for my provisions, according

to His Word.

 I will be made rich in every way - John 10:10

 I will be generous on every occasion – I will give the gospel free of charge.

 The end result will be – thanks giving to God.



16. The vision of the Church praying in the Good Hope Centre and the

angel‘s obedience.

“I saw a number of angels coming down from heaven, one of them is holding a

long chain in the one hand and in the other hand, I saw a double-edged sword. He

entwines the chain around Devils Peak. While thousands of Gods‟ people were

praying in groups of two‟s and three‟s in Good Hope Centre, many angels were

binding evil forces in the coiled chain. I saw every kind of demonic spirit you can

think of. The spirit of drunkenness, the spirit of depression, the spirit of

homosexuality, the spirit of poverty, the spirit of violence, the spirit of oppression,

the spirit of sexual perversion, the spirit of deceiving, the spirit of cheating, and on

and on. Binding every spirit of darkness, into the chain that just continues to coil.

Then God‟ people stopped praying, and without them realising, the angels



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stopped working. When God‟ people continued to pray, the angels continued to

destroy the demonic realm. Tragically, the opposite also happened when God‟

people wished someone harm. The angel would unwind his chain. While everyone

was still in an attitude of prayer, God said to me, “Whatever you bind on earth

shall be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth shall be loosed in

heaven.” Mat 16:19. The double-edged sword was used in the end, to slice the

mountain into the sea.



17. The three dreams of water and my relationship in the dream with two

teenage sisters.

 In my first dream, I took the older sister for driving lessons, but instead of

driving, we were knocking on doors, asking the owners to fill our 500ml

bottle with water, then we would fill the radiator and go to the next house

and repeat our task.

 In my second dream, I saw these two sisters bathing together, as if they

were babies bathing together. (No sexual connotations, if you may ask.)

 In my third dream, I was walking with them in the Waterfront along the pier

when without given anyone a sign or warning, I dived into the ocean and

delighted myself thoroughly, as if it was the best pool in Cape Town to

swim in.





18. The three dreams of the Church, the body of Christ.



 Dream one: A dream about a Church Building with a second floor. On the

second floor, the Church played a secular movie. The Church was dark, it

was full to capacity; many lay back with arms folded and reluctant to move.

There were those unashamed to even smoking a cigarette in the midst of

the children. I was entering the ground floor, I noticed that the entire floor

was in flames and that the fire spread to the ceiling. I ran upstairs, shouting

to warn the Church of the fire so that they could take some drastic steps to

move out. I could have just as well shouted at the walls, no one listened or

even took me serious.

 Dream two: Same Church, same building, different stage. This time the

light shone through and brightened the place up. The speaker, I knew, he

was my principle at Rosebank Bible College, Dr. Reg. He was preparing a

tiny group of enthusiastic people for the ministry. Being few in number, they

sat in a circle. The message was shortened so that they could go out two

by two to minister from door to door.

 Dream three: The sun was setting, and I saw myself teaching my son,

Kaylim how to drive for his coming drivers test. While he was driving

towards a busy intersection, sirens from the Police and Traffic Departments

were travelling at high speeds - crossing the intersection. Under the

circumstances I took over the wheel and drove us home. On route home

we drove past the above mentioned Church and what was normally a



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peaceful area, turned out to be chaos. It looked like the entire Police and

Traffic force parked around the building. As a member of this Church I

slowed down. Something serious was happening to the Church. The

building itself, had moved metres towards the sidewalk and with ropes

attached to the structure, the law had tried to pin the Church down and pull

it back to order.

I shared these three dreams with the congregation; however the interpretation

the Eldership received, was that this kind of ministry was unacceptable and

that I was never to address the body again.



19. The dream of the two men dropping off a full marked box.

I dreamt that a white panel van stopped outside our home to drop off a somewhat

large box. Two men got out the van and carried the box into the house. I signed

for the box and they left. The box was covered with warning signs, therefore I was

reluctant to open the box. After a few days, though my inquisitive nature could not

stop me wandering what was inside the box. I slowly and gently removed the

cover, in fear that it may be snakes or a bomb. When I finally got the lid open, it

was full of bank notes tied tightly in bundles.





20. The dream of being shot by a religious group of thugs.

While a million or more books are being given away, a religious group who that

hid their faces approached me. As one they took out machine guns and in

unauthorised militant fashion fired away at my body. I was immediately

transported to the nearest hospital where I lay in a coma. What seemed a tragic

shock through worldwide media was in fact the best news in heaven? The

demand for the Gospel increased rapidly throughout the world and people were

saved in big numbers. As for me, I am not important – God is.



21. The dream of meeting Mel Gibson in a Bughouse.

A bughouse is a slang word for a very low class cinema where you could watch

three or more movies for the entire day at no extra cost. In my dream, I was

directed to see a person at such a bughouse in Cape Town. I had no idea who the

person was and where in the cinema I would find him or her. In my dream, I

decided to sit in the second row from the front. The movie started to screen a well

known Mel Gibson show and his image appeared on the screen. I turned to my

left only to see sitting at an angle directly behind me Mel Gibson in person. I

addressed him boldly saying, “Like me, you do not belong here.” Hence, we both

left for a coffee shop around the block. I took the opportunity to show him my book

and said this is the reason why you are here. In a very unhappy tone “he said do

you know who I am?” took the book nevertheless and left.



22. The dream of the three Americans, the Landlord and the waves.







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In the beginning of 2008, I dreamt about our Landlord, Michael – two American

men, and one American woman. In my dream, either we were on holiday or we

owned a semidetached Duplex on the Beachfront facing the beach. All that

separated the semidetached houses and the seashore was a one metre wall. We

were standing on the sea-sand metres from the wall. One of the visitors was busy

writing a cheque that was attached to a contract. Michael, our property owner was

peeping over his shoulder to read the contract and with hand suggestions, he was

letting me know that whatever they were doing it was in my interest and they were

entirely empty-headed in drawing up such a contract and signing such a large

sum of money. Michael looked somewhat dejected that he was not part of the

contract and at the same time a wave washed up towards the houses and the

well-dressed lady ran into the house. As the men were in shorts, the wave

managed to make its way to our knees. However, as the ocean returned, it

brought in the following wave that covered the entire Estate. The wave had not yet

broken and its well had already topped the second-story roofs.



The Lord showed me that while we are still under our present Landlord, He would

show us the first of many favours on our lives.





23. The dream of the building that replaced the company I worked for.

I saw this building before its foundation was laid.

Remember I was a director for a well-known Sign-Manufacturing Co. that at the

time was sixty-six years old. Remember in my vision, I saw the fist of God

stamping out the entire building and remember within one year of having seen the

vision, the company was no more. Several other companies took possession of

the building until I had another dream about the building. In this dream, I dreamt

the building was demolished to the ground. I then saw what looked like a pyramid

shape structure takes its place. I was inquisitive so I went to investigate the site. It

was very busy inside, with workers hard at work. While walking around inside the

building I saw my x-boss. It was clear my presence someone upset the man. He

began to chase me and hurl bricks at me inside the building. We ran around in

circles for a while, I received a verbal pounding from this man as workers looked

on. From the very top of this building through a large window came a shaft of light.

I saw myself standing in the shaft of light descending from heaven. The minute I

stepped inside the light, no-one, nothing could touch me there.

Soon after my dream, I went to investigate the site but all had been as it was

before. Months later however, I drove past the site and lo and behold, my spirit did

a double whammy, I could not have possibly, however there it was, the building

was gone and it was replaced with what you see above.



24. The vision of the Street Children handing out the books and DVD‘s



Imagining this for a minute, you are driving down in your smart air-con vehicle,

let‟s say down Buitengracht Street, Cape Town and your car radio mentions

something about Street Children in the very same street, you can‟t help notice

alongside the road, banners and flags raised higher than normal. The Traffic Dept.

keeping order while SABC 1,2,3 and ETV are presently filming a larger than



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normal number of X-Street children with a bright T-shirt that boldly states, “I’m

back on the streets AGAIN, this time to give!” then they start handing out “The

heart of the Caterpillar” and DVD‟s and in return this easy read and DVD‟s gets

people to think in a way they have never thought before. Even if this book affects

a small number of people in a positive way, which in return affects the lives of

Street Children in a holistic way, everyone wins.



25. The dream of the face clothes.

In a dream, the Lord asks me to get a basin of water and asks me to set it up in

front of Him, which I did. Then the Lord asks me to get all the face clothes from

the bathroom and place them in the basin of water. I did this too. Then He tells me

I have done all He has asked me to do, He would complete the task and woke-up.

I have heard His voice and have been obedient to do this publicly.



26. The vision of a marriage and a family to happen soon.

A brother in Christ invites me to Paarl to men‟s meeting. The Spirit of God

highlighted our evening through the voice of Julius Magan. On our way home, the

Spirit of God directed me tell my 48 year old friend that he was going to get

married very soon and that he would still have children. At the time he was not

ready, neither was he involved with any woman. Three months later he was

married and soon after his marriage, his wife fell pregnant with twins.



27. The vision of owning the spirit from the top hills of Anathoth.

On one of our first missions to pray, as we were walking up the hill, I said to Peter,

a Christian brother. “Peter I must share my calling with you.” Half way up I opened

my Bible and started to read. My eye captured Matthew 21:28b... “Son, go work in

my vineyard...” I knew in my spirit we could not continue, we stopped and looked

all around us. Overwhelmed by the Holy Spirit led me to Philippians 2:5-11, and

when I got to “… he humbled himself, and became obedient unto death…” we

found ourselves weeping and praying and humbling ourselves before the Throne

of Grace and Mercy.

On a second mission to pray, I phoned Peter to say I was on my way to Anathoth.

When I got to the place where we wept before, there were three Saints speaking

in tongues and so I moved to higher ground. As I was nearing my next stop, the

Holy Spirit prompted my attention to Habakkuk. I was reluctant at first because of

Hab 3:17-18. I still said, “Lord, what good can come from Habakkuk?” in

obedience, I opened to Hab 1:1-5 “How long, O Lord must I cry out for help?” and

I agreed to the truth, however the Holy Spirit absolutely flawed me in verse 5.

“Look to the Nations and watch and be utterly amazed. For I the Lord am going to

do something in your days that you would not believe, even if you were told.”

WOW – WOW – WOW!!!

On a third mission to pray, a vision that both Peter and I saw regarding the

ownership from the top of the hills of Anathoth. To the outer Cape, as far as the

eye can see, our God is going to shine throughout the people. This, my friend is a

revival vision, this is the Holy Spirit‟ desire and it is God ordained, not mans

performance. As far as the light shines in Cape Town His glory will fulfil what He

has set out to do. Strap-up, the Lord has great things in store for us.





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28. Cheryl, my wife, has a dream about the storms and the waves covering

Cape Town.

The most critical person in my life is my wife, Cheryl. According to her, I deserve

less mercy, as I think I have been privileged to receive God‟ anointing in the area

of dreams and visions. In other words, she is telling you that I am just as sinful as

most other men. She maybe very right, I am a sinner, even according to me. I too

do not deserve mercy, yet mercy and grace is all I can live for. However, in me is

the Holy Spirit, and He is Perfect, Blameless and Righteous. He is changing me

every day to the image of Christ, (Christ in us, the hope of Glory, in other words,

Christian). Nevertheless, mid July 2009, she wakes me up and to her favour; the

Holy Spirit begins to show her something in a dream. She tells me firstly, that the

dream came from God. In her dream, she is to deliver a small package of labels to

the Airport. The label Company she works for is relatively large. They let her know

that there is a storm brewing and it is on its way to Cape Town. In her dream,

Cheryl heads off to a friend to caution them of the oncoming storm. When she

arrives at their house, she finds them preparing the windows and bolting them

with boards. She was unhappy that they insisted that the one dog remains

outside, while the other was allowed in. She decided she needed to be with her

husband and hurried off. On the N1, she could see in the rear view mirror that a

wave had already covered Cape Town. Since she knew she would not make it to

the Airport, she travelled as fast as she could to get home. With the wave closely

behind the vehicle, she woke-up.



29. My wife‘ dreams a second dream about the waves hitting Cape Town.



The following day Cheryl dreams almost the same dream; however, this time

starts a conversation with God in her dream. The dream starts when she is in a

park in Brooklyn and she sees the wave coming. She runs to her late mothers

house and bangs on the door, shouting. “Look through the window to see the

wave coming!” Now while this is all happening she opens a conversation with God

in her dream. “Lord, what is this all about? What is happening?” Then she wakes

up.

This time she wakes up and there is a greater urgency in her spirit as she shares

her dream with me. My comments are simple; get yourself ready for the Lord our

God, the Holy Spirit is preparing something very soon.





30. The dream of the storms of locusts and the six fishes caught.



On the 23rd July 2009, I had a dream about a storm of locust attacking human

kind. It appeared that men and woman were in turmoil and running with their

heads chopped off. It was clear the entire world was in trouble and that there was

uncertainty of how to remedy their state of affairs. On the other hand I had no

concern about the affairs of the world, and was on my way to break the record on

deep sea fishing. The sea was as calm as I had ever seen it; however, the land

was in chaos. The white luxurious vessel sailed into the deep until the Lord told us

to cut the engines and wait. It wasn‟t long and like a balloon that pops out of the



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water so the first fish popped out of the ocean. It was weighed and low and

behold, no one on board could believe it. It outweighed every fish in its category.

Then another species of fish popped out very much the same way as the first one

did. It also outweighed every fish in its category and so it continued until six of the

most difficult species of fish were miraculously caught – without bait, without a

struggle and without costs.



Monday the 27th July, I shared our dreams with a group who came to our home for

Bible Study.



Tuesday 28th July, the Lord guided me to Habakkuk 1:14-17. “You, (the Lord)

have made men like the fish in the sea, like creeping things that have no ruler

over them. (Six of the biggest fish – in other words six of the biggest men will

come to the surface with no help at all.) The wicked (the Babylonian world) take

up all of them with the hook, they catch them in their nets, and gather them in their

drag nets; therefore, they rejoice and are glad. Therefore, they sacrifice unto their

nets and burn incense unto their dragnets; because by them their portion is fat,

and their meat plenteous. Shall they therefore empty their nets, and not spare

continually to slave the nations?”



31. My wife has a dream about fish on the very same night 23rd July 2009.

In her third dream, she sees a wave that is about to collide into boulders on the

coastline. Through the clear sea waves, she could see sharks whose lives

endangered from striking the boulders. A sure sign of the shark‟s death when the

waves break against the boulders. A Christian friend and others who were

standing by did not consider their own lives, but plunged into the ocean to save

the sharks. Cheryl was afraid of the shark‟s reputation and ran to higher ground.

32. The dream of the dry dark jungle maze and the pit…

There was not one green leaf, not one patch of colour representing life in this

dream. It was grey, it was cold and a very unhappy environment, yet it was real

and chilling. The setting is taken in a thick, deep, dark, dead forest of clustered

branches intertwined like the intelligent cortex of the brain. A group split up into

the forest maze, I ran from one unsatisfied branch to the next, and I came to a

standstill. In front of me was a hole through the branches and I made my way

squeezing my body through the gaps. Now if you can imagine a gap in the ceiling

and a spider web from the ceiling to the floor of a dark - deep cellar. That is how

big the dark, deep, cold was in comparison to my size verses that of a spider. One

solid trunk to the basement of the pit that could fit 10 jumbo Aircraft Carriers side

by side and as long as it was, so too was the height. I did not want to waist my

energy on my venture so I tried to return, and just as well, it took persistence and

tenacity to get back. Although, exhausted I was safer than the pit. It was not long

and I bumped into a very black man who keenly directed me with his finger.

Somehow, my spirit was uneasy and I did not take his advice.

Then I woke-up, without an interpretation. All I can say is; this is not a place to

desire, yet in my spirit I am persuaded that this is the kind of bondage most

people are in.



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33. My daughter, Kaycee, dreams of three waves and thousands of dead

people in the ocean on 22nd August 2009.

My daughter is another thorn in my flesh, always has ten thousand answers, yet

never quotes the Bible accurately for one. Yes, we are all sinners in our home,

saved only by Grace. In her dream, she is standing at the collage hostel, facing

Table Mountain. She could see an enormous wave coming towards her. She told

her friend to go with her; they ran around the corner, where another wave hit

Kaycee. In the confusion, they lost each other under the wave. With that Kaycee

swam to the surface and called out to her friend, to hold onto the gate. They

managed to hold onto the gate, but not for long as yet another two waves hid

them. Then for no logical reason they were standing on dry ground with a calm

ocean around them. Only Kaycee could see that thousands of dead bodies had

drowned in the process. An acquaintance from the collage was among the dead,

and as a result she had to let her parents know, that she had died with the others.

The Lord showed me that the dead bodies in the ocean were as “dead men

walking” people that are alive in the flesh yet dead in the spirit. Jesus, has called

us primarily; to be fishers of men, to seek and to save that which is lost.



34. On the 25th August 2009, a prayer partner, Peter and I go to Anathoth

once again to pray and again we hear a familiar type of dream.

Hannes, the man we met on Anathoth shares a dream that he believes was

inspired by the Holy Spirit. In his dream he is standing in Sea Point, were he could

see the beach and the ocean. He saw a man and woman having sex openly on

the beach and it appeared to him that the man forced the woman to reveal his

pleasure. In the distance he could see that an abnormal size wave was about to

hit Cape Town so he shouted at the couple on the beach. They could not hear

instead he beat the woman up after having had his pleasure. He tried to get the

attention of a nearby person and warn that person of the wave; however, that

person too could neither hear him.



35. A newborn baby has been delivered on the 29th August 2009.

Christine, Peter‟ wife has a dream on the 28th August 2009 that a baby has just

been birthed. This baby was placed into her lap, it is soft, it is tender, it requires

love, attention, milk and it needs to be changed. In my spirit of others, the

newborn is the revival, I believe God is about to do in Cape Town, through us. A

newborn baby draws the families together, they receive lots of oh‟s and ah‟s and

wow‟s. There is much laughter and great joy, there are many gifts and everyone

wants to be part of the good news. Let me remind you… Isaiah 42:14. “For a long

time I have kept silent, I have been quite and held myself back. But now, like a

woman in childbirth I cry out, I gasp and pant.” Pg. 189



36. Deep down I knew there was another message in Habakkuk.

And the LORD said, Write the vision, and make it plain upon tables, that he may run that

reads it. For the vision is yet for an appointed time, but at the end it shall speak, and not

lie: though it tarry, wait for it; because it will surely come, it will not tarry. Hab 2:2-3



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In other words, God says; those who understand and have caught the vision

should run with it, not sit, not wait - but run. When the Holy Spirit addresses his

children through visions and dreams, it is for an appointed time. God gives visions

and dreams for a reason and His timing is always perfect. Keep running with the

vision, even though it tarries, it will surely come! The God that I serve cannot lie;

“The words that comes out of Gods‟ mouth; it will not return to Him empty, it will

accomplish that which He purposed it for, and will succeed in the thing for which

He sent it.” (Isa 55:11). I have been running with this dream for more than twenty

years, and all I can say is, through faith and persistence we will inherit His full

share of promises.





37. As in the days of Daniel.

On the morning of Friday, the 3rd of September 2010, I dreamt I was in the Army. I

tried to keep a low profile; nevertheless, I was picked on as if there had been a hit

on my life. This was a case where the innocent was made to look guilty. In the

Army base was two glass tanks, one tank had dolphins in, and the other had a

nasty Great White shark in it. The tanks were placed next to each other, and each

had a door just above the water line. I was cast into the dolphins‟ tank that was

warm. I swam with the dolphins‟ and enjoyed there company. I could touch the

tank that had the Great White shark in - and when I did, everyone in the Army

base could see how fierce the shark was, with his jagged teeth, livid at me. That

evening I was dragged off and thrown in the Great White sharks tank. It mattered

not that the water was at a freezing level, I would be torn up soon by this ferocious

shark. I lay on my back floating and at the same time I said, “Lord is this, the end

of the road for me?” The water was freezing - yet I felt warm, the Great White

swam around me and under me, yet not once did he harm me. I shut my eyes and

went to sleep. The following morning I had been woken up by the Officer who

hated me the most. He had opened the door to the pool to pull me out of the tank,

when suddenly the Great White furiously attacked the Officer, tearing his arm off. I

was unharmed and then the dream ended.



38. Several Dedicated Christians meet once a week with surprisingly similar

visions.

I met Peter at a local Church, his spirit and mine connected like John and Jesus

while still in their mother‟s womb. He shared this big dream with me, and the

Scriptures that went with it. As we prayed together, a group of Christian

likeminded men started to have related dreams from the Lord. This number is

growing weekly. I am persuaded that this number will grow to 232 men, as the

Lord has shown me in 1 Kings 20:13b-15. There would be Builders and Plumbers

- Doctors and Lawyers – Accountants and Pastors - Teaches and Business-men

all changing their doctrinal thinking and working for the Lord the way He planned it

from the beginning.

The Spirit of God has spoken to many hearts about Matthew 28:19-20 and when

obedience takes place, a Church will grow exponentially.



39. I do not want to work with money; I want to work with people.





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If I told you I was uninterested in money, I would be lying. I want to be wealthy in

every area of my life, including financially. As a result of how the rest of society

disrespects the Christian leadership because of their relationship with wealth, I

want no part of it. I would rather see to the needs of the poor and needy and store

wealth in heavenly places than to allow wealth to build-up an unnecessary

fortune, so that I could both influence and affluence others.





40. I do believe in the 100% fold ministry.

Although as Chairman of this organization, I do not want to be part of the Accountants

decisions or making myself a Pastor of a flock. However, I do believe in the 100% fold

ministry. I believe in receiving 100% and storing the wealth in heavenly places. I am

standing again on the Word of God, according to Matt 19:29, and Mark 10:29-30; Lord –

You have promised one hundredfold, very much like in Gen 26:12.









Help us train-up children in the way they

should go and they will not depart from it!









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