BALANCED LIFE
by ed crews
dive into the
good life
To achieve work-life equilibrium, decide what
matters most and take action
A
bout four years ago, Allison
O’Kelly found herself lead-
ing what felt like a disjointed
life. An accountant with a
Harvard M.B.A., she was a classic super-
mom: busy corporate executive by day, wife
and mother with small children every other
waking minute. Eventually, her dueling
roles began to take a toll. She recalls a day
when she took one child to the doctor
and felt guilty about missing work, then
felt guilty for feeling guilty about caring
for her son—a losing situation all around.
O’Kelly’s experience is far from unique.
According to a 2005 study by the Families
and Work Institute, one in three American
employees is chronically overworked. A
majority feels overwhelmed with assign-
ments, and roughly a third of workers
don’t take or don’t plan to take all the
vacation time they’ve earned.
This nonstop pace lacks historical
precedent, says James Clawson, a pro-
fessor at the University of Virginia’s
Darden Graduate School of Business
Administration. His popular course “What
Do You Want?” helps students set work
and life goals. “Every generation has its
own stresses and strains and troubles,”
Clawson says. “But we are pressed for
time and energy perhaps more than any
previous generation. The danger is that
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we allow pressures to push out the things
that make us human and happily so: rela-
tionships, reflection and resonance—the
three essential Rs of modern living.”
Frederic J. Medway is a University
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of South Carolina psychology professor
who has studied the effects of stress.
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“When people are stressed enough, they
act out in various ways—anger, aggres-
siveness, impatience, impulsiveness,” he
says. “More extreme reactions include
photograph by tom merton/Digital Vision/getty images
BALANCED LIFE
“ Every generation has its
sadness, depression and the loss of energy, sleep, appetite
and interest in favorite activities.” In severe cases, physical
symptoms appear, ranging from headaches and stomachaches own stresses and troubles.
to heart and respiratory problems.
Clawson attributes the imbalanced lifestyles of this genera-
But we are pressed for
tion to multiple causes. Relentless competition puts performance time and energy perhaps
pressure on every worker. Technology, for all its promise to more than any previous
”
ease everyday burdens, seems to swallow us instead. Mobile
communication means people can work anywhere, anytime. generation.
Also, Clawson explains, a lack of savings causes many people
—James Clawson, University of Virginia’s Darden
to feel trapped in their job situations. “Even back in the late Graduate School of Business Administration
1970s, professors at the Harvard Business School counseled their
students to have six to 12 months of living costs set aside in case
they ran into an untenable job situation and had to or wanted with her children, but she didn’t want to be exclusively a
to leave,” he says. “That counsel is still wise.” The bottom line: stay-at-home mother. She needed flexibility.
The better prepared you are financially, the more options you Eventually, she hit upon a solution—one that could also
have professionally. And having options eases pressure. help other women achieve their own goals. In 2005 she created
Mom Corps, an Atlanta-based executive-placement firm that
matches professional women with corporations. Assignments
Finding the Way Out are full- or part-time, built around each woman’s goals and
Those who work excessive hours to impress a boss or to get schedule. And as Mom Corps grows, O’Kelly is staying loyal
ahead, Clawson warns, may find their efforts to be counter- to her commitment to be flexible for herself, her family and
productive. He suggests they talk to their employer about ways her career—without feeling guilty about it.
to delegate some responsibilities to colleagues and make the
workday more efficient. Such measures can boost job perfor-
mance without taking away from employees’ personal lives. Taking Inventory
“There is a dysfunctional assumption that if you work more, If making a major career change or scaling back work hours
you will always be rewarded for it,” Clawson explains. “That’s means taking a pay cut, now is also the time to take a fresh
often not true. Success is not about working harder but working look at your overall financial picture. Karen Dulaney, a Vice
smarter, while also paying attention to the state of your President and Key Private Bank Financial Advisor, works with
relationships and your family.” many clients who are considering such lifestyle adjustments
To regain her own balance, O’Kelly decided to embrace and helps them assess how a change in income will affect their
radical change. Her first step was to inventory her life, her financial needs and goals. She recalls one client, for instance,
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passions and her responsibilities. She wanted to be engaged a corporate attorney whose wife had just given birth to their
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first child.
“In this case, he was the one who made the decision that
Key Private Bank he wanted to stay home while his wife went back to work,”
Dulaney says, adding that while he would continue to bring
Bring balance to your financial life by designing a in income from an established side business, he would still be
personalized wealth management strategy with the
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leaving behind a lucrative corporate job. “We sat down together,
help of Key Private Bank. To learn more, see page B14
of this issue’s Tool Kit. created a new financial plan and determined the minimum
amount he would need to make per year in order to still meet
his retirement goals and pay for his child’s education.”
Dulaney notes that in helping clients resolve complicated Finally, Dulaney adds that no matter how difficult it may be
financial issues, Key Private Bank counselors look at everything to find the right balance in work, life and finances, it’s impor-
from personal budgets to debt levels, saving for higher educa- tant to try, particularly for those who feel stuck and dissatisfied
tion, retirement goals, estate planning and managing liabilities. at work. “From my standpoint, if a person is unhappy or not
“A significant life or career change could impact all of those passionate about a job, it’s not worth the negative impact it can
areas,” she says, “so we take a holistic approach in giving our have on his or her life,” she says. “Making a change may make
clients advice. Guiding them in the right direction requires a things tough for a few years, but that’s where we need to reas-
comprehensive understanding of their goals.” (For more information sess and say, ‘Let’s do a budget, let’s cut back on expenditures,
on Key Private Bank, see page B14 of this issue’s Tool Kit.) let’s make this work.’ ” g
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Is Your Life Out of Balance?
susan cramm, president of Valuedance, an executive coaching firm in san clemente,
california, suggests asking yourself these questions:
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• Am I managing my energy in • Do I like doing the things that • Do my personal values align with
addition to my time? What ener- take up most of my time? my work?
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gizes me? What depletes me? • If I had more time, what hobbies • Can I delegate or share responsi-
• Am I living my own life? Or am or interests would I pursue? bilities at home or at work?
I living the life somebody else • What is important to me now, and • What’s the worst thing that could
expects me to lead? what will be important in five years? happen if I made life changes?
photograph by blake little/the image bank/getty images