Coping: Dealing with Grief and Traumatic Stress
in the Aftermath of the Virginia Tech Shootings
While the shock of the horrific massacre at Virginia Tech will reverberate around the world for
some time, students, faculty, staff, families and communities around the country will also face
some new challenges: dealing with grief and traumatic stress that often comes with such horrific
disasters.
The combination of life-threatening personal experiences, loss of loved ones, massive disruption
of routines pose an extreme psychological challenge to the recovery of students, teachers, school
administrators, families, and communities around the country. This brief primer provides an
overview of what families and communities can do to cope with this tragic incident. Parents,
school administrators and care givers should:
Create an environment that establishes safety and supports communication among all
members of the family or community. Be available, positive, and open to all subjects,
including frank conversations about these horrific shootings. In listening to students and
children, administrators and parents can ease worries by being responsive to safety concerns,
providing accurate information and correcting any misunderstandings —of which there may be
many.
Answer questions truthfully. Individuals may have lots of questions about this massacre, and
parents and school administrators should not be surprised if students and children ask the same
question several times. It is important for young people to discuss the event freely and express
their concerns and views.
Let students and children know how you feel about the recent events. When parents and
school administrators express their thoughts and concerns, it can help students and children talk
about their own feelings as well.
Monitor children’s exposure to disaster-related media coverage. Television, radio,
newspapers, or magazines may contain graphic and highly disturbing images of death, injury,
and damage. Older children may have unmonitored access to these via the Internet. These images
may evoke feelings about earlier traumas or losses in their lives. Parents should check in with
their children about what they have watched, heard, or read and address any concerns they may
have related to the event.
Grief Reactions
Parents, school administrators and caregivers will also need to be aware of the grief reactions
that students, families and communities affected by these shootings may experience. Those who
survived the shootings have suffered much loss, and this loss may lead to:
feelings of sadness and anger.
guilt or regret over the loss and/or their survival.
missing or longing for the deceased.
dreams of seeing the person again.
These grief reactions are normal, vary from person to person, and can last for many years after
the loss. There is no single “correct” course of grieving. Personal, family, religious and cultural
factors affect the course of grief. Although grief reactions may be painful to experience,
especially at first, they are healthy reactions and reflect the ongoing significance of the loss.
Over time, grief reactions tend to include more pleasant thoughts and activities, such as positive
reminiscing or finding positive ways to memorialize or remember a loved one.
Traumatic Stress Reactions
Parents and school administrators will also need to understand that students and children may
experience posttraumatic stress reactions to the horrific events at Virginia Tech. These reactions
are common, understandable and expectable, but are nevertheless serious and can lead to many
difficulties in daily life. There are three types of posttraumatic stress reactions.
Intrusive Reactions are responses to traumatic reminders and or memories of the event.
These include:
recurrent upsetting thoughts or images that occur while awake or dreaming.
strong emotional or physical reactions to reminders of the shootings.
feelings and behavior as if something as terrible as the shooting is happening again.
Avoidance and Withdrawal Reactions include:
avoiding talking, thinking, or having feelings about the shootings.
avoiding places and people connected to the event.
feeling emotionally numb, detached or estranged from others.
losing interest in usually pleasurable activities.
Physical Arousal Reactions are physical changes that make the body react as if danger is
still present. These include:
constantly being “on the lookout” for danger.
being startled easily or being jumpy or nervous.
feeling ongoing irritability or having outbursts of anger.
having difficulty falling or staying asleep or having restless, easily disturbed sleep.
having difficulty concentrating or paying attention.
Coping after Disaster
In addition to reassuring an individuals’ sense of safety, there are several ways to enhance coping
of those traumatized by these events.
Physical: Stress can be reduced with proper nutrition, exercise and sleep. People may need to be
reminded that they should take care of themselves physically to be of help to families and
communities.
Emotional: People need to be reminded that their emotional reactions are normal and expected,
and will decrease over time. However, if their reactions are too extreme or do not diminish over
time, there are professionals who can be of help.
Social: Communication with, and support from, family members, friends, religious institutions
and the community are very helpful in coping after a traumatic event. People should be
encouraged to communicate with others, and to seek and use this support where available.
Identifying Potential Triggers and Traumatic Reminders: Given the level of disruption to daily
routines of students, teachers, and families that this event may pose, it is important to monitor
students for potential stress reactions particulary in light of school related traumatic reminders
(dorm rooms, classrooms, routine sounds of campus life).
Restoring a sense of safety and security, and providing opportunities for normal development
within the social, family and community context are important steps to the recovery of children
and adolescents.
This primer is provided by the National Center for Child Traumatic Stress (NCCTS), a joint center of
Duke University Medical Center and UCLA Neuropsychiatric Institute. This unique Congressional
initiative was established as part of the Children's Health Act of 2000 and is intended to bring about
widespread and lasting improvement in the lives of traumatized children and their families across the
United States.
For more information on dealing with traumatic stress in children and adolescents, please visit the
National Child Traumatic Stress Network (NCTSN) at http://www.nctsn.org..