CHARACTERISTICS
OF A
HEALTHY LIFE
Les Carter, Ph.D.
Southlake Psychiatric and Counseling Center
Southlake, Texas
drlescarter.com
1. Control is used in sparing
amounts.
Controlling behavior is not one dimensional.
The desire for control is at the base of every negative
ingredient in personal relations.
Imperative thinking is at the base of controlling behaviors
and communications.
The opposite of control is freedom, the privilege of choices.
A mind of freedom is portrayed in covert messages.
2. Choices are made in emotional
management.
When we experience undesired emotions, our
natural tendency is to become reactive.
We often press for external solutions instead of
looking inwardly.
You cannot afford to allow your moods to become
dependent upon others.
Each person has a core competence that can be
utilized in each difficult situation.
3. Humility is paramount.
We can mistakenly think of humility as a weak trait.
Humility is the direct opposite of a prideful spirit.
Humility is the ultimate strength; all other healthy
qualities arise from it.
Humility has a direct effect on traits like confidence,
listening, and assertiveness.
4. Sexual purity is held in highest
regard.
We are in the midst of a promiscuous age…compare to 1960.
Purity acknowledges that I am not the center of the universe.
Satisfying my urges is not first priority.
Purity upholds the dignity of another human.
Impurity creates a bonding that has no foundation of a
lasting commitment.
Impurity always results in pain. (“When the thrill is gone, so
are you.”)
5. Listening skills are keenly refined.
What is the most common complaint among teens? “You just
don’t understand!”
Empathy is the capacity to comprehend another’s emotions
and perceptions from that person’s point of view.
It is not enough just to say: “I understand.” Be descriptive.
The non-verbal elements of empathy are acceptance, trust,
equality.
6. Defenses are set aside in favor of
authenticity.
Self protection can be normal, but if it is used too
much it inhibits relational growth.
Excessive defense implies fear, a feeling of being
threatened.
Being genuine is a better alternative to
defensiveness.
Openness implies that you trust yourself.
7. Spirituality is a matter of deep
contemplation.
Spirituality prompts us to find a purpose beyond mundane
tasks and performances.
Success is not measured by achievements, salary, or titles,
but by the quality of the inner person.
Spirituality requires you to contemplate the meaning of your
beliefs.
Spiritually resolved people understand that life involves
sacrifice, servitude, forgiveness, and that love is the
ultimate good.