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Voice

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Voice
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11/10/2011
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Which adjectives might your friends use

to describe your personality?

• happy brave funny

• pleasing passionate irreverent

• ridiculous riveting sarcastic

• earnest tentative detached

• bereaved horrifying self-deprecating

• scholarly caring gracious

• bizarre subtle thoughtful

• dismal way out unctuous

• delightful concerned timid

• warm frightened curt

• thrilled thoughtful introspective

• clever entertaining superficial

• profound mistrustful critical

Just as we can describe the personalities of our

friends, as readers we can describe the

personality of a piece of writing.

• Diederich: (1961 & 1974) found that the professional writers and

editors in his study “emphasized style, individuality, originality,

interest and sincerity– the personal qualities revealed by the

writing, which he decided to call „flavor,‟ although they

themselves called it „style‟” (8).



• Seventeen teachers K-12 (1984) Beaverton, Oregon: Analytical

Assessment Model Committee working with Diederich‟s findings

decided to call it “voice” and elaborated on its description.

Simultaneously, groups in Montana, Florida and other sites were

coming up with similar rubrics.





– Some Six-trait rubrics describe a

writer‟s voice as being as distinct:

“As individual as fingerprints.”

Whose fingerprints are all over

this one?

• Don’t you hate ―To Be Continued‖ on TV? It’s

horrible when you sense the ―To Be Continued‖

coming. You know, you’re watching the show,

you’re into the story, then there’s like five minutes

left and suddenly you realize ―Hey, they can’t make

it. Timmy’s still stuck in the cave. There’s no way

they can wrap this up in five minutes.‖ I mean the

whole reason you watch a TV show is because it

ends. If I want a long, boring story with no point to

it, I’ve got my life. A comedian can’t do that. I

can’t go, ―A man walks into a bar with a pig under

his arm . . . . Can you come back next week?‖

Or this one?

Grandpa Tommy’s dad used to say,

―A cowful is a great sufficiency.‖

According to my research, the rumen

of a mature cow can hold over 300

pounds. And by anybody’s standards

that is a substantial quantity.

Say you had a cowful of pocket

change. You’d almost need a cow to

keep it in. Say you had a cowful of

wet laundry. It would take a forklift to

get it in the dryer. Say you had a

cowful of manure. Well, I guess a lot

of us do.

And how about this one?

I'm Nobody! Who are you?

Are you--Nobody--Too?

Then there's a pair of us?

Don't tell! They'd advertise--you know!



How dreary--to be--Somebody!

How public--like a Frog–

To tell one's name--the livelong June—

To an admiring Bog!

And whose fingerprints are these?

There are no records to prove it, mind

you, but I have every reason to believe

my husband was an eleven-month baby.

And he’s been running two months late

ever since. Through marriage (and bad

association) I have become a member of

that great body of tardy Americans who

grope their way down theater aisles in the

dark, arrive at parties in time to drink

their cocktails with their dessert, and

celebrate Christmas on December 26.

Frankly, I don’t know how a nice,

punctual girl like me got stuck with a man

who needs not a watch, but a calendar and

a keeper.

The voices of . . .

• 1. Jerry Seinfeld

– Seinlanguage. Bantam Books, 1993.





• 2. Baxter Black

– A Cowful of Cowboy Poetry. Coyote

Cowboy Company, 2000.





• 3. Emily Dickinson

– The Poems of Emily Dickinson.

Harvard University Press, 1951.





• 4. Erma Bombeck

– If Life Is a Bowl of Cherries, What Am

I Doing in the Pits? Fawcett Books,

1990.

And it’s more than just fingerprints or flavor.



Consider the difference in two voices from

the same person in this film clip from The Electric

Horsemen, starring Robert Redford as Sonny Steele,

a former Pro Rodeo World Champion All-Around

Cowboy turned corporate ad gimmick.



In this scene Redford explains, off-camera he thinks,

how a retired champion racehorse named Rising Sun

has been mistreated by his corporate owners.



Notice the difference between the former Pro Rodeo

All Around Champion’s speech when he thinks he is

on-camera compared to when he thinks he is off-camera.

Which traits of strong voice fit Sonny’s ―unrecorded‖ talk?



A. The writer speaks directly to the reader in a way that is individual, compelling and

engaging.



B. The writer crafts the writing with an awareness and respect for the audience and the

purpose for writing.



C. The tone of the writing adds interest to the message and is appropriate for the purpose and

audience.



D. The reader feels a strong interaction with the writer, sensing the person behind the words.



E. The writer takes a risk by revealing who he or she is consistently throughout the piece.



F. Expository or persuasive writing reflects a strong commitment to the topic by showing

why the reader needs to know this and why he or she should care.



G. Narrative writing is honest, personal, and engaging and makes you think about, and react

to, the author’s ideas and point of view.

What is voice again?

1. Style

2. Flavor

3. Tone

4. Commitment

5. Sincerity

6. Reflection of the

writer

7. Interest

8. Connection (not only

between writer and

topic, but also writer

and reader)

9. Others

_________________

_________________

Variety of Voice

• Abstract – Ambiguous – Analytical – Anecdotal – Angry – Austere –

Bland – Boring – Cinematic – Classical – Colloquial – Concise –

Confessional – Contemptuous – Conventional – Cool – Cynical –

Decadent – Derivative – Dreamlike – Dreary – Earthy – Elegaic –

Emphatic – Epigrammatical – Evocative – Experimental – Fashionable

– farcical – Fatalistic – Flamboyant – Gimmicky – Heavy – Heroic –

Hysterical – Incoherent – Ironic – Irreverent – Journalistic – Juvenile –

Lyrical – Melodramatic – Metaphorical – Metaphysical – Minimalist –

Monotonous – Mournful – Mystical – Nostalgic – Objective – Obscure

– Ominous – Parody – Philosophical – Poetical – Poemical – Political

– Pompous – Pragmatic – Precious – Pretentious – Profound –

Psychological – Puritanical – Realistic – Repetitious – Rhythmic –

Romantic – Sarcastic – Sardonic – Satirical – Sensuous – Sentimental

– Sharp – Stilted – Sophisticated – Stark – Subjective – Subtle –

Superficial – Surrealistic – Symbolic – Trite – Urbane – Vague –

Venomous – Whimsical – Witty – Wordy

Of course, the writer’s voice

needs to be appropriate to the

content.



• Mary Shelley’s

Caddyshack?

(screenplay)





• Not the

appropriate

voice!

Stephen King’s Shakespeare in

Love?





• Probably not too

romantically

appealing—pretty

creepy, actually.

So appropriate voice, it seems,

should fit the writer’s purpose.

How about the audience or genre?

• Hey, Monty. What’s

up, compadre? Surf’s

up here, and I am

down with the beach

life. Got to go; the ice

in my drink is getting

low. See you next

week. Maybe.

– Chaz

And a writer may need to change

voice accordingly



• Multiple Case Studies

of Neurasthenia in

Men Aged Forty-five

and Above

– By Charles Heddinger

and Montye Fuse

How does voice relate to the

other traits?

• One way to think of voice is as one color

on an artist’s palette.

– It could be thought of as distinct from other

colors (amber).

• Add a little black, and the voice of a piece can

change to a dark one. Poe?

• Add a little white, and the voice can become

more cheerful. ______?

• Add a little green (for weird) and the piece

takes on a different perspective. Hunter

Thompson?





And/or it could be thought of as

created through the use of other

colors (red, white and blue used in

certain proportions create

lavender).

In that sense the writer mixes

traits like an artist mixes colors

to create voice.

• Word choice helps

create voice.

• Sentence fluency helps

create voice.

• Ideas help create

voice.

Listen to this story from Luci

Tapahonso’s Saanii Dahataal:

The Women are Singing.

• Discuss with your colleagues:

– How would you describe the

author’s voice?

– Which descriptors from the

rubric fit?

– How does word choice

contribute to the voice?

– How does sentence fluency

contribute to voice?

– How are ideas and voice

related in this piece?

How can a writer, especially a

beginning writer, achieve strong

voice?

– Writing from the heart will help.

• Emotions/feelings

• Values

• Beliefs

• Important people and events

• Crucial issues

• Things that matter to the writer







What has research shown about beginning

writers and their choice of topics?

Entering the River

(Lynn Nelson- Writing and Being)



private writing public writing









vision

and revision

How can we help students to

understand voice?

We might start with interesting

literature that exemplifies strong

voice.

– Something they’ll like

– Something that will grab their attention

– Something that will get the idea across

fast

– Something we can discuss with them in

the terms on their rubrics

– Something that will hold their attention

while I take attendance and put out the

slip.

Does it have to be a major literary work?

• It can be, but it doesn’t have to be.

• It could be a passage from their reading for

class.

• It could be a passage from something they’re

familiar with.

• It could be something they haven’t seen

before but will easily understand

• It could be any genre: a passage from a novel,

a poem, a letter, an article from a magazine or

newspaper, a greeting card, an advertisement

(ooh-there’s a good one), a menu, anything.

• It just needs to show the trait of strong

voice and fit the students’ age/ability.

• Start a collection of pieces that exemplify

voice.

Then we could give them a

hands-on activity.

• To help them

understand what the

trait is.

• To help them identify

it in literature

• To help them

understand how to

improve it in their own

writing.

Next we could guide them through the

analysis of anonymous sample papers.

• Anonymous, because they

will feel no risk in being

critical.

• We can help them to apply

the terms in the rubric.

• They can begin to

understand the process of

evaluation that precedes

revision.

• (We seem to be moving up

Bloom’s taxonomy.)

They have been introduced to the trait through interesting

literature, they have done an activity to further their

understanding, they have analyzed anonymous sample

papers to help them see what strong voice looks like in

writing from people their age.

Now what?

• TIME TO WRITE!



• How about a paper

that suits our focus on

the trait of voice well?



• Any ideas?

Only magic or amazing talent can

make that first draft good enough

to consider a finished project.

• Veteran teachers know

there is no magic here.

(Although they do

often have some pretty

good tricks up their

sleeves)

• What happens next

takes hard work.

Although the next steps in the writing process can help

students to improve not only individual papers but also their

writing skills, they have often proven to be

difficult in the past.

• Arranging for feedback

that students understand

and can use.

• Getting students to do a

meaningful revision



– Students are often chained

to their first draft.

• (maybe a few spelling

changes and some

corrected punctuation, but

nothing major)

This is where the foundation of

previous steps may help.

• 1. Students have a

vocabulary to use to give

and understand feedback.

• 2. They have done

activities (focus lessons)

to learn what the terms

mean and how to improve

writing for a given trait

• 3. They practiced

evaluating papers on low-

risk anonymous samples.

• 4. If they are given

guidance, they can do it.

Students can use the Six-trait

rubric for voice

• To self assess.



• To peer assess.



• As a guide for

revision.

Teachers can also use the Six-

trait rubric for voice

• To make revision

suggestions

– In a conference with the

student.

– On a written revision sheet.





• To focus on a desired trait.



• As part of the total grade.



• To keep track of a

student’s improvement in

a specific writing skill.

Suggestions for Further Reading

• Bishop, Wendy, ed. (1999). The Subject is Writing.

Portsmouth: Boynton Cook.

• Burke, Jim. (2003). The English Teacher’s Companion: A

Complete Guide to Classroom, Curriculum, and the

Profession. Portsmouth: Heinmann.

• DeMaria, Robert. (2002). The College Handbook of

Creative Writing. Boston: Thompson.

• Diogenes, Marvin & Moneyhun, Clyde. (2001). Crafting

Fiction: In Theory, In Practice. Mountain View: Mayfield.

• Estess, Sybil & McCann, Janet. (2000). In a Field of

Words: A Creative Writing Text. Upper Saddle River:

Prentice Hall.

More suggestions…

• Fulwiler, Toby. (2004). The Working Writer. Upper

Saddle River: Prentice Hall.

• Knorr, Jeff & Schell, Tim. (2001). Mooring Against the

Tide: Writing Fiction and Poetry. Upper Saddle River:

Prentice Hall.

• Lane, Barry. (1993). After THE END: Teaching and

Learning Creative Revision. Portsmouth: Boynton Cook.

• Macrorie, Ken. (1980). Telling Writing: 3rd Edition. US:

Hayden Book Company.

• Murray, Donald M. (1985). A Writer Teaches Writing. US:

Houghton Mifflin Company.

The end.

• Spandel, Vicki. (2005). The 9 Rights of Every Writer: A

Guide for Teachers. New Hampshire: Heinmann.

• Starkey, David. (1998). Teaching Writing Creatively.

Portsmouth: Boynton/Cook.

• Steele, Alexander. (2003). Gotham Writers’ Workshop

Writing Fiction: The Practical Guide from New York’s

Acclaimed Creative Writing School. New York:

Bloomsbury.

• Stepp, Carl Sessions. (2000). Writing as Craft and Magic.

Lincolnwood: NTC Contemporary Publishing Group.


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