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Campfire Songs and Skits

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Campfire Songs and Skits

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Songs and skits for the ultimate campfire extravaganza!



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Xavier Goss



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Campfire Songs and Skits



Contents

Songs ..................................................................................................................................................................................... 1

Ain't Gonna Rain no More, no More ......................................................................................................................... 2

America, America ........................................................................................................................................................... 3

My Brother Bill ............................................................................................................................................................... 3

The Cat Came Back ....................................................................................................................................................... 3

Columbo .......................................................................................................................................................................... 4

Do Your Ears Hang Low? ............................................................................................................................................ 4

Ghost Chickens .............................................................................................................................................................. 5

Ging Gang Goolie.......................................................................................................................................................... 5

Got a Letter in the Mail ................................................................................................................................................. 6

Hawaiian Punch .............................................................................................................................................................. 6

Heap Big Smoke ............................................................................................................................................................. 6

I Don’t Want no More of Boy Scout Camp .............................................................................................................. 7

I love the Mountains ...................................................................................................................................................... 7

If I Go Crazy ................................................................................................................................................................... 8

It’s A Lie .......................................................................................................................................................................... 8

Johnny Verbek .............................................................................................................................................................. 10

Little Green Gopher .................................................................................................................................................... 10

Mountain Dew .............................................................................................................................................................. 10

Scout Vespers................................................................................................................................................................ 11

Scout Wetspers ............................................................................................................................................................. 12

Tell Me Why .................................................................................................................................................................. 12

Alice the Camel ............................................................................................................................................................. 12

Dog Cat .......................................................................................................................................................................... 12

Left my Jeans in New Orleans ................................................................................................................................... 13

Rooster Song ................................................................................................................................................................. 13









Songs

Here is a small selection of camp songs for both cub scouts and boy scouts alike. Many of these

songs have been passed down from generation to generation and are sung at scout camps across the USA.

Many even have background stories to add on to the effect of the song.



Troop 000 – “We are the Missing Link” Page 1

Campfire Songs and Skits

In addition to this word document I will be adding these songs and maybe even a few more onto the

troop 000 website. They will be an interactive setup with stories, lyrics, and even a voice over for some of

them. This is just one of many resources available to make an amazing campfire for everyone involved.



Ain't Gonna Rain no More, no More

Chorus:

It ain’t gonna rain no more no more, ain’t gonna rain no more

How in the heck can I wash my neck if it ain’t gonna rain no more?



Rich girl uses cold cream, poor girl uses lard

My girl uses axel grease and rubs it twice as hard

Oh... (Chorus)



Rich drives a Cadillac, poor girl drives a Ford

My girl drives an old grey mule, and beats it with a board

Oh... (Chorus)



Rich girl bathes in a bathtub, poor girl bathes in a sink

My girl doesn’t bathe at all, and boy she really stinks!

Oh... (Chorus)



Peanut sittin' on a railroad track, heart was just a flutter

'Round comes engine number nine, toot toot peanut butter

Oh... (Chorus)



Chicken sitting on a railroad track, heart was all a flutter

'Round the bend came number ten, toot toot chicken salad

Oh... (Chorus)



Peter was a rabbit, a rabbit he is no more

For what he thought was a hole in the ground, was a hole in the outhouse floor

Oh... (Chorus)



Poor man lived by the sewer, by the sewer he died

They couldn’t call it murder, so they called it sewer-cide.

Oh... (Chorus)



Mary had a little lamb she fed it very well, one day she fed it dynamite

And blew it straight to...

Oh... (Chorus)



Mary had a little lamb, so goes the tale of yore

She loved that little lamb so much; she passed the plate for more

Oh... (Chorus)







Troop 000 – “We are the Missing Link” Page 2

Campfire Songs and Skits

A doctor fell into a well, and broke his collar bone

We think that he should tend the sick, and leave the well alone

Oh... (Chorus)



America, America

America, America

How can I tell you how I feel?

You have given me many treasures

I love you so



My Brother Bill

My brother Bill is a fireman bold--he puts out fires

Last night he went to a fire I'm told--he puts out fires

The fire set off some dynamite, and blew poor Bill clear out of sight,

But where he's going, he'll be alright--'cause he puts out fires



The Cat Came Back

Old Man Johnson had some problems of his own

And he had a yellow cat that wouldn't live alone

He tried and he tried to give the cat away

But the cat always came back the very next day



Chorus:

The cat came back, the very next day

The cat came back; we thought he was a goner

But the cat came back

He just couldn't stay, away, away, away

Heh, heh, heh!



Gave the cat to a man goin' way out west

Told him for to give to the one he loved best

Train jumped the track, then it jumped the rail

An no one's left alive, to tell the gory tale



But... (Chorus)



Gave the cat to a man goin' up in a balloon

Told him for to take it to the man in the moon

Balloon touched down 'bout ninety miles away

And where the man is today I really couldn't say



But... (Chorus)



The man 'round the corner said he'd shoot that cat on sight

So he loaded up his gun with two sticks of dynamite

He waited and he waited for that cat to come around



Troop 000 – “We are the Missing Link” Page 3

Campfire Songs and Skits

Ninety-seven pieces of the man was all they found



But... (Chorus)



A-bomb dropped just the other day

H-bomb followed in the very same way

China went, Russia went, then the USA

The whole human race, was gone without a trace



But... (Chorus)



Columbo

(leader) In fourteen-hundred and ninety-two (group repeat)

(leader) Sailin' 'round New Delhi (group repeat)

(leader) Walkin' 'round the streets of Spain (group repeat)

(leader) Sailin' hot tamalies (group repeat)



Chorus:

(leader) He said the world was round-o (group repeat)

(leader) They said it couldn't be found-o (group repeat)

(leader) That hypothetical, calculating, son of gun Columbo (group repeat)



(leader) He walked right up to the queen of Spain (group repeat)

(leader) And asked for ships and cargo (group repeat)

(leader) Said I'll be a son of a gun if I don't bring back Chicago (group repeat)



(leader) Well the first mate, the first mate (group repeat)

(leader) Yes he wore a biggin (group repeat)

(leader) Wrapped it twice around the mast, and used the rest for riggen' (group repeat)



Do Your Ears Hang Low?

Do your ears hang low? do they wobble to and fro?

Can you tie them in knot? can you tie them in a bow?

Can you throw them over your shoulder, like a continental soldier?

Do your ears, hang, low?









Do your ears hang high? do they reach up to the sky?

Do they droop when they're wet? do they stiffen when they're dry?

Can you signal to your neighbor? with a minimal of labor?

Do your ears, hang, high?



Do your ears hang wide? do they flap from side to side?





Troop 000 – “We are the Missing Link” Page 4

Campfire Songs and Skits

Do they wave in the breeze, from the slightest little sneeze?

Can you soar above the nation, with a feeling of elation?

Do your ears, hang, wide?



Ghost Chickens

A chicken farmer went out, one dark and dreary day

Resting by the coop, as he went along his way

When all at once a rotten egg hit him in the eye

It was the most dreaded, ghost chickens in the sky



Chorus:

Bok bok bok bok!

Bok bok bok bok!

Ghost chickens in the sky



The farmer has raised chickens, since he was twenty-four

Working for the Colonel, for thirty years or more

Killing all those chickens, and sending them to fry

Now all they want is revenge, ghost chickens in the sky



(Chorus)



Their beaks were black and shiny, their eyes were burning red

They had no meat nor feathers, these chickens all were dead

They picked up that poor farmer, they held him by the claw

They cooked 'em extra crispy, and served him with cole slaw



(Chorus)



Ging Gang Goolie

Ging gang gooli gooli gooli gooli watcha

Ging gang goo, ging gang goo

Ging gang gooli gooli gooli gooli watcha

Ging gang goo, ging gang goo









Heyla, heyla sheyla

Heyla sheyla, heyla ho

Heyla, heyla sheyla

Heyla sheyla, heyla ho



Shali walli, shali walli, shali walli, shali walli



Oom-pah, oom-pah, oomp-ah, oom-pah, ...





Troop 000 – “We are the Missing Link” Page 5

Campfire Songs and Skits



(repeat and can sing in round)



Got a Letter in the Mail

(Leader) Got a letter in the mail (group repeat)

(Leader) Go to camp or go to jail (group repeat)

(Leader) And it won't be long (group repeat)

(Leader) 'Til I get on back home (group repeat)



(Leader) Me and Superman got in a fight (group repeat)

(Leader) Hit him hard with kryptonite (group repeat)

(Leader) Hit him hard and broke his brain (group repeat)

(Leader) Now I'm dating Lois Lane (group repeat)



(Leader) Me and Batman we fought too (group repeat)

(Leader) Hit him hard with my left shoe (group repeat)

(Leader) Hit him hard and broke the heel (group repeat)

(Leader) Now I drive the Batmobile (group repeat)



(Leader) Got a blanket in the sand (group repeat)

(Leader) And cream soda in my hand (group repeat)

(Leader) And it won't be long (group repeat)

(Leader) 'Til I get on back home (group repeat)



Hawaiian Punch

Here's the story, of a Dole banana

Who was living a in a great big bunch

All of them had peels of gold like their mother

The youngest one in green



Here's the story, of a ripe papaya

Who was living with three fruits of his own

They were four papayas living in the same tree

But they were all alone



'Til one day when the banana met the papaya

And they knew it was much more than a lunch

That one day they must form a soft drink

That's the way they became Hawaiian Punch!



Hawaiian Punch, Hawaiian Punch

That's the way they became Hawaiian Punch



Heap Big Smoke

Chorus:

Heap big smoke but no fire, Heap big smoke but no fire



Troop 000 – “We are the Missing Link” Page 6

Campfire Songs and Skits

Him talk 'lot, but him not so hot,

Him a heap big smoke but no fire



Indian maiden heard love call

Sounding down from high mountain wall

She climbed up just to hear a big squawk

'Cause (insert name) hit his toe with a tomahawk



(Chorus)



(Insert name) him say 'em gonna catch 'em big bear

Make 'em for coat for squaw to wear

She said that'd be a feather in his cap

But he fell into his own bear trap



(Chorus)



I Don’t Want no More of Boy Scout Camp

I don’t want no more of Boy Scout camp

Hey ma I want to go, back where the toilets flow

Hey ma I want to go home



Well they say at Flaming Arrow, the tents are mighty fine

They’re made out of old newspapers and poison ivy vines



(Chorus)



They say at Flaming Arrow, the...

...chicken is mighty fine, one jumped on the table and started marching time

...rolls are mighty fine, one rolled off the table and killed a friend of mine

...girls are mighty fine, they’re either under seven or over 99

...coffee is mighty fine, it looks like muddy water and tastes like turpentine

...camp director is mighty fine, he acts like Adolf Hitler and looks like Frankenstein

...medical officer is mighty fine, you ask for just one band-aid and he gives you 99

...pancakes are mighty fine, they’re good to use as frisbees and wiping your behind

...toilets are the best, but my tentmate, he went last night-they haven't found him yet

...showers are mighty fine, you share them with the spiders, but they don't seem to mind

...doctor's mighty fine, my friend, he got a splinter, his funeral's at nine

...mosquitoes are really fine, they're big as helicopters, and biting all the time



I love the Mountains

I love the mountains

I love the rolling hills

I love the fountains

I love the daffodils





Troop 000 – “We are the Missing Link” Page 7

Campfire Songs and Skits

I love the fireside

When all the lights are low

Boom dee ah duh, boom de ah duh

Boom dee ah duh, boom de ah duh

Boom dee ah duh, boom de ah duh

Boom dee ah duh, boom de ah duh



(repeat in round)



If I Go Crazy

I don't care if I go crazy

1-2-3-4-5-6 switch

Crazy go I if care don't I

6-5-4-3-2-1 switch









I don't care if I go crazy

1-6-2-5-3-4 switch

Crazy go I if care don't I

4-3-5-2-6-1 switch

(repeat)



It’s A Lie

I was born a hundred thousand years ago (years ago)

And there's nothing in this world that I don't know (I don't know)

I saw Peter, Paul, and Moses, playing ring around the roses

And I'll kiss the gal who says it isn't so (it isn't so)



Chorus:

It's a lie, it's a lie

Ship ahoy, ship ahey, ship-a-hi-hi-hi

Oh I sailed the seven seas, in my dirty dungarees

But I never ever ever saw a mermaid (a mermaid)



I saw Satan when he looked the Garden o'er

I saw Even and Adam driven from the door

I was 'round the corner peekin'

At the apple they were eatin'

In fact, I'm the guy who ate the core



(Chorus)







Troop 000 – “We are the Missing Link” Page 8

Campfire Songs and Skits

I saw Cain kill Abel in the glade

And I know the game was poker that they played

I was hiding in the shrub, when he hit him with a club

And I know it was diamond, not a spade



(Chorus)



I saw Israel in the battle of the Nile

Where the arrows flew thick and fast and wild

When David with his sling, popped Goliath on the wing

I was doin' forty seconds to the mile



(Chorus)



I saw Jonah when he shoved off in the whale

And I thought he'd never live to tell the tale

But old Jonah'd eaten garlic, and he gave that whale the cholic

And it coughed him up and let him out of jail



(Chorus)



I saw Ceasar when he crossed the Rubicon

In fact I built the bridge he crossed it on

I saw Hannibal at home, and Nero burning Rome

And I even saw the fall of Babylon



(Chorus)



I saw Sampson when he laid the village cold

I saw Daniel tame the lions in their hold

I help build the tower of Babel, up as high as they were able

And there's lots of other things I haven't told



(Chorus)



You may not think this tale of mine is true

But what difference does it really make to you

I've been feeding you these lines, just to pass away the time

But now I'm gonna quit, because I'm through



(Chorus)



No, it's actually true-I'm done!









Troop 000 – “We are the Missing Link” Page 9

Campfire Songs and Skits



Johnny Verbek

There was famous Dutchman, his name was Johnnie Verbeck

He specialized in sausages, and sauerkraut, and spec

He made the finest sausages, that ever you did see

And one day he invented, the wonderful sausage machine



Chorus:

Oh, Mister Johnnie Verbeck, how could you be so mean?

I told you you'd be sorry for inventing that machine

Now all the neighbors cats and dogs, will never more be seen

They'll all be ground to sausages, in Johnnie Verbeck's machine



One day a little Dutch boy, came walking in the store

He bought a pound of sausages, and piled them on the floor

The boy began to whistle, and whistled up a tune

And all the little sausages, went dancing around the room



(Chorus)



One day the thing got busted, the darn thing wouldn't go

So Johnnie Verbeck, he climbed inside, to see what made it so

His wife was having a nightmare, and walking in her sleep

She gave the crank an awful yank, and Johnnie Verbeck was meat!



(Chorus-with new meaning)





Little Green Gopher

The little green gopher came out of his hole, out of his hole, out of his hole

The little green gopher came out of his hole, to see what he could see



Along came a truck at ninety miles an hour, ninety miles an hour, ninety miles an hour

Along came a truck at ninety miles an hour, and SPLAT!



And there were great green gobs of greasy grimy gopher guts

Mutilated monkey's meat, chopped up little birdy's feet

Eyeballs running down the dirty street

Darn I forgot my spoon...I brought my straw...SLURP--yummy!



Mountain Dew

Chorus:

Well, they call it that good ol' mountain dew

And them that refuse are few

Oh I'll hush up my mug, if you fill up my jug

With that good ol' mountain dew





Troop 000 – “We are the Missing Link” Page 10

Campfire Songs and Skits



My Uncle Mort, he is sawed off and short

An' he stands only four foot two (or three)

But he'll act like a giant, if you give him a pint

Of that good ol' mountain dew



(Chorus)



My Auntie Sue has a rare perfume

An' it gives off a pretty P.U.

Well imagine her surprise, when they had it analyzed

An' it was that good ol' mountain dew



(Chorus)



My Uncle Gord had a beat up ol' Ford

An' it was dated 'bout 19-0-2 (or three)

It don't run on no gas, you just give it a glass

Of that good ol' mountain dew



(Chorus)



My Grandma Sue, she is old and not new

She's a hundred and one, or two (or three)

Just give 'er a sip, and she'll do a back flip

For that good ol' mountain dew



(Chorus)



My Brother Bo, he drives really slow

An' he couldn't win a race or two (or three)

Just give him a bottle, and he'll kick in the throttle

For that good ol' mountain dew



(Chorus)



Scout Vespers

Softly falls the light of day,

As our campfire fades away.

Silently each Scout should ask,

Have I done my daily task?

Have I kept, my honor bright?

Can I guiltless, sleep tonight?

Have I done and have I dared,

Everything to be prepared?





Troop 000 – “We are the Missing Link” Page 11

Campfire Songs and Skits



Scout Wetspers

Softly falls the rain today

As our campsites float away

Silently each Scout should ask

Have I brought, my scuba mask?

Have I tied, my tent flaps down?

Learned to swim, so I won't drown?

Have done and will I try,

Everything to keep me dry?



Tell Me Why

Tell me why, the bugs do bite?

Tell me why, the campfire won't light?

Tell me why, the tent fell down?

Tell me why, we sleep on the ground?



Because they're hungry, the bugs do bite

Because the wood's wet, the campfire won't light

Because we're lazy, the tent fell down

Because we're Boy Scouts, we sleep on the ground



Alice the Camel

Alice the camel has five humps

Alice the camel has five humps

Alice the camel has five humps

So go Alice go

Boom, boom, boom



(Repeat verses, substituting the next lowest number each cycle until you reach zero)

Alice the camel has four humps...three...two...one...no



(After the last verse cycle)

So Alice is a horse!



Dog Cat

[The song is sung to a rhythm maintained by slapping your thighs and clapping your hands alternately. After

the last line, the verses are repeated at a faster tempo, then repeated again at an even faster tempo, and again,

until the song gets so fast you can't keep up.]



(leader) Dog (group repeat)

(leader) Dog cat (group repeat)

(leader) Dog cat mouse (group repeat)

(leader) Frogy! (group repeat)

(leader) Itsy bitsy teeny weeny little bitty frogy (group repeat)

(leader) Jump, jump, jump, little frogy (group repeat)





Troop 000 – “We are the Missing Link” Page 12

Campfire Songs and Skits

(leader) Flies and fleas are scrum-didli-ump-scious. (group repeat)

(leader) Ribbit, ribbit, ribbit, ribbit, ribbit, ribbit, croak (group repeat)



Left my Jeans in New Orleans

[This song is intended to be a marching song with the words "left" and "right" corresponding to steps of your

left and right feet as you walk. The "whoop-dee-do" translates into a hop into the air, and then the process

starts over.]



Left, left, left my jeans in New Orleans with forty-five cents in a can of beans

I thought it was right, right, right for my country, whoop-dee-do

(repeat)



Rooster Song

Verse:

(leader) I had a hen (group repeat)

(leader) No eggs she laid (group repeat)

(leader) I had a hen (group repeat)

(leader) No eggs she laid (group repeat)

(leader) Until that rooster (group repeat)

(leader) Came in our yard (group repeat)

(leader) And knocked that hen (group repeat)

(leader) Right off her guard (group repeat)



Chorus:

We’re getting eggs now, we never usta

Until that roosta, came in our yard (cluck, cluck, cluck, cluck)

We’re getting eggs now, we never usta

Until that roosta, came in our yard



Repeat verse and chorus substituting new items:

(leader) I had a...

Gum tree, no gum it gave...we’re getting chicklets

Dog, no puppies she bore...we’re getting pooched eggs

Garden, no food it gave...we’re getting egg plant

Cow, no milk she gave...we’re getting eggnog

Wife, no babies she bore...we’re getting eggheads

Gas pump, no gas it gave...were getting Eggson

Prune tree, no prunes it gave... we're getting eggs-lax

Toaster, not toast it gave...we're getting eggos

Toy store, no toys it sold...we're getting Legos

Farmer, he wouldn't grow beans...we're getting chick peas



The last verse should be:

Gun, no bullets it shot...there’s no more rooster, like there usta







Troop 000 – “We are the Missing Link” Page 13

Campfire Songs and Skits



Skits

Here is a small collection of skits for Boy Scouts and Cub Scouts alike. Along with many of the

songs in the previous sections these skits tell a story and entertain the audience. They present real life, as well

as fictional situations and even bring humor into the storyline. Feel free to modify anything you wish to make

the skit fit your own personal pack or troop. These skits are a collection from my many years working for

Flaming Arrow Scout Reservation as a camp councelor.



FASR Airlines

This skit is all about humor! It requires a good knowlage of improvisation and usage of your

surroundings. Basically you are piloting an airplane on the company “FASR Airlines” and you are new to the

industry of aviation. Will the crew and its passengers make it out alive? Maybe, but the plane will crash and

burn, let’s make it funny in the meantime.



Roles

Pilot: The one in charge

Copilot: Second in command

Navigator: (Optional) The one in charge of telling you where you’re going, or at least how to get

there

Passengers: As many people as you see fit, preferably no more than 6 – 8



Props List

Chairs: 1 for each person



Setup

The stage setup is simple. The chairs are set up in two lines side by side except for the navigators

chair which is set sideways behind the pilot and copilot. The passengers merely follow and react to the

movements of the pilot and copilot. The pilot and copilot start by sitting on the wrong side… pilot on right,

copilot on left. As the plane is moving the crew moves their seats to simulate motion.



Script

[The stage is empty and the crew and passengers come on stage carrying their seats as they get into position.]



Pilot: (to copilot) Are you ready to go this time? I think you’ve been playing that flight simulator enough to do

this…

Copilot: (to pilot) Eye eye captain I’m ready to go! Wait… I think were sitting on the wrong side.

Pilot: (to copilot) That’s propost… oh wait… your right!

[The pilot and copilot hurrilly switch seats]

Pilot: (puts up mouth like he is talking into a microphone) Chhhh… Ladies and gentlemen we are performing our

preflight checks and then we will be ready for self destruc... I mean liftoff. Chhhh… (puts hand down and turns

around towards the navigator) Hey, whats your vector victor?

Navigator: Well it seems as though we are still on the ground.

Pilot: Ah ok well how do we rectify this problem?

Copilot: I believe we must press the shinny red button (points out in front of him)

Pilot: (picks up hand like microphone) Chhhh Ladies and gentlemen we have main engine start and are ready for

liftoff. Please sit back, eat your penuts and leave us alone for the duration of the flight. Chhhh…

[Everyone begins to feel a slight rumbling sensation and the plane begins to take flight]





Troop 000 – “We are the Missing Link” Page 14

Campfire Songs and Skits

Chhhh… Ladies and gentlemen we have reached our final cruising altitude of sea level… please enjoy the

short duration of the flight. Chhh…

Copilot: Hey look over there! (points in front of him) There seems to be a flashing red light.

Pilot: Is seems as though that says engeeeene 1…

Copilot: Whats engeeeene 1?

Pilot: I dunno… check the manual.

Copilot: (pulls out an invisible giant book and searches through the pages) It tells us to look under “epic fail…” (turns

the page) Yep, just what I thought… look out your window… (Piolot looks out the window) Was there an engine?

Pilot: Nope, was there supposed to be

Copilot: Not that I know of, let’s keep going

Pilot: Umm…. Look (points out in front of him) Was that light always blinking?

Copilot: Nope. This one says engeeeene 2… (pulls out book) Engine 2 failure!

Pilot: We have 2 engines!?!?!?

Copilot: Yes, apparently we do… I’ll look out the window.

Pilot: What do you see?

Copilot: Nothing, theres too much smoke

Pilot: Well I think we still have one more engine… Um, nvm we are done for… (pulls out hand like microphone)

Chhhh… Ladies and gentlemen I am pleased to inform you that we will be landing immediately. Please sit

back and enjoy the rest of your flight until we reach the scene of the crash. Chhhh…

[Everyone piles out the doorway one by one and jumps out of the plane leaving behind the props on stage]



Additional Ideas

This skit is all about improve and the script above is merely a basic plan. Many funny moments have

been added with window washers, sea gulls, and additional lines and failures. The length and content of this

skit should be judged by the audience and their appropriate content level. A bathroom for the passengers is

always a fun one!



General Specific

This is another skit that revolves around humor. It is however a little easier than FASR Airlines but

is still one that needs to be rehearsed beforehand. Do not perform this skit for the first time without any

practice.



Roles

General Specific: The decorated 5 star general

Other Guy: The one who caters to general specific



Props

Seats: 2 are needed, they can be anything at all to sit on, even logs!



Setup

Almost no setup is needed for this skit. All you need to do is put the two seats side by side on the

stage.



Script

[The story begins with General Specific and the other guy walking to the “truck”]









Troop 000 – “We are the Missing Link” Page 15

Campfire Songs and Skits



Bibliography

Simmons, A. (2005, May). Flaming Arrow CD Songbook. Lake Wales, Florida, USA.









Troop 000 – “We are the Missing Link” Page 16



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