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					                                 Re-orientation pics
                                 Interviews with 48May & Hometown Advantage
                                 Yo yo’s - they’re back!
                                 Stronger than Hate review




Issue 10, 2004. ISSN: 11735181
                                                                                      satellite
                                                                              spirituality week
        editor’s note
          editor’s note
                                           once made me a piece of artwork that
                                           says “the most beautiful things in this
                                                                                            and makes me laugh sometimes. God is
                                                                                            totally real, totally sweet, and I’m glad to
                                           world cannot be seen or touched, they            have a growing relationship with him. I
                                           must be felt with the heart”. And there’s        started going back to Church in second
                                           some things that I feel in my heart that         year at university and I’ve met some of
                                           I can’t see or touch. A lot of my friends        my best friends in the world there. I don’t
                                           believe in God, but don’t really prescribe       think that I found God in Church though.
                                            to a faith as such. I kind of think it’s a      I found him at the bottom of a bottle.
                                             shame, because I just think that, if you       After one too many nights out getting
                                               believe in God, why not try and get to       blind drunk, living like I always had. I
                                                know him?                                   realised everything should be fine in my
                                                                                            life, yet my heart was still breaking. So I
                                                  I’m from a Christian family, and          called… and he answered.
                                           we’re as freaking dysfunctional as the
                                           next one. I used to go to Church and             So I guess that’s me, I just find something
                                           play with Lego underneath the chairs. Or         in God that I can’t find anywhere else.
                                           I’d sleep. I didn’t really understand it. I      Being a Christian doesn’t make me much
Seeing as it’s spirituality week, and I’m  found the sermons totally boring. I knew         different from other people, although
quite a spiritual person, I’m going to     God was real, but I guess I didn’t know          I do seem to have been blessed with
throw my two cents in. Discrimination      him. Cue high school, the old Kristov 62         ridiculously good dress sense (and
against minorities is commonly met         and a world of macking. Moving out of            maybe a touch too much vanity). I
with disapproval, which is great. But      home sent me further down this path.             still love a good party and a few beers.
sometimes it feels that precept holds      There’s stuff I regret, stuff I did that still   Regardless I still have my deep issues,
true unless the discrimination is towards  kind of hurts me, maybe others too.              but I also have a whole freaking lot of
Christianity, particularly in the media.
                                                                                            hope. I still screw up just as much, and
Muslim bashing, not ok, gay bashing But for the most part, I had an awesome
                                                                                            probably more than others. But I don’t
not ok. Christian bashing, totally sweet. time. Ha, there’s nothing quite like being
                                                                                            want to use that as an excuse. I love life,
I’m not saying that it’s cool to beat on off your face at 2am, stumbling out of
                                                                                            I love people. I feel so blessed just to be
those other minorities, because we all get Shadows Bar. But as fun as that was, I
                                                                                            alive, and knowing there’s more than
a hard time sometimes, and it’s not cool. always felt empty the next day. Getting
                                                                                            this makes me happy. The main goal of
I’m just saying it sucks that Christians mack was always sweet, but if nothing
                                                                                            my life is to do what Jesus said were the
get so little respect sometimes. Maybe happened, I felt depressed. You can’t
                                                                                            most important precepts: Love God and
they’re the easiest target, maybe it’s a expect people to validate you constantly.
                                                                                            love others. That’s an awesome message
form of revenge for either perceived In a perfect world, they would. But it
                                                                                            and it totally inspires me, I wish I was
or real historical injustice? Anyway, doesn’t work that way here. I love my
                                                                                            better at it.
pushing aside all the religion, all the friends, they help make this world what
institutionalism, whatever, here’s one it is. So many of them have changed my
                                                                                            So, I’m a Christian, and I don’t want to
man’s story. I’ll get                                              life powerfully,         impinge on your rights, I don’t want to
some flack for it, but                                             but there’s just         tell you what to do, I certainly don’t want
you’ve got to be true Dan Trevarthen                               some ways they
                           satellite@satellite.ac.nz                                        to judge you. But I do want to tell you
to who you are.

I’ve always believed
                                   editor
                           Vanessa Evetts
                                                                   can’t be there
                                                                   for me 100%
                                                                   That’s        ok,
                                                                                            that there’s more out there. If you’re even
                                                                                            wondering if there’s something more out
                           teched@satellite.ac.nz                                           there, I’d just encourage you to explore
in God, I just can’t
                            technical ed.
fathom a world where Private Bag 102 904
                                                                   they’re human.           that. God bless, homies.
this is it. You live life, North Shore Mail Centre                 And I guess
                                                                                            Peace out.
die, bam, that’s it. Auckland                                      that’s     where
No purpose, nothing. Ph: 09 4439740, Fax: 09 4439745               God comes in.
There’s got to be more                                             He constantly
than just what we can website: www.satellite.ac.nz                 validates me,
see and touch. A friend                                            encourages me,                                                 02
                 contents
                  contents
        4-5              News                                        Editorial policy
                                                                     Satellite will aim to provide a forum for the free exchange of ideas,
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        6-7              Article: String of hope leads to success    activities. Editorial staff will attempt to present balanced coverage of
                                                                     all news and issues covered. While Satellite will work to discourage
                                                                     blatant prejudice and discrimination, Satellite will promote healthy

        8-9              Spirituality Week articles            6-7
                                                                     debate.

                                                                     Pornographic images will not be considered for publication.
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      10-11              Lil’ bits of humour
                         Satellite’s Time Waster
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                         Satellite speaks to two NZ Bands            edited, abridged or discarded. Letters will not be published unless
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         14              Article: NZ Culture, Te Reo
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         15
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      16-17              Hot off the Prez, Student News
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      18-19
                                                                     Council c/o the Secretary: PO Box 10-879, The Terrace, Wellington.
                         Orientation Pics - Evo Bar with 48 May,
                                                                     Phone 04 473 5220 or view website at www.presscouncil.org.nz
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      20-22              Book / Music / Movie Reviews
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         23              Letters to the Editor

              Thursdays in Black
    Protest against rape and violence in our
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i             ISSUE TEN : 2004 - ISSN: 11735181




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International News
                      satellite news
                    satellite news                  Reality TV goes too far, againSome group of
                                                    morons in the US have come up with a new             National News
                                                    reality TV show. This is for real. It’s called
Japan still trying to kill lots of whalesJapan      “Domestic Diva”. Here’s their freaking spiel.        Telecom give away free credit by mistake
has lost their latest effort to repeal years of                                                          again (they can afford it) Telecom could have
anti-hunting agreements at the International        “Would you like to become America’s new              lost hundreds of thousands of dollars within
Whaling Commission. Countries rejected              diva of domesticity? If you have a flair for         a few hours because of a loophole left in a
Japan’s motion to hold votes in secret.             flower design, a talent for turning out tasty        promotion.
                                                    treats and an overall knack for being creative,
Conservation groups, which accuse Japan of          then you may have what we are looking for…           Radio host at 91ZM Ian Stables took a call
enticing developing countries to join the body      twelve people who will compete against each          from a listener on his live show on Wednesday
and vote with it, welcomed the outcome,             other on national television for the opportunity     saying “that people with a Telecom mobile
indicating the majority of the 57 members           to live a dream.”                                    account who texted 123456 to 2004 would get
remained largely opposed to whaling.                                                                     a $10 credit to their account each time they
                                                    “A new reality series on CBS will follow a           did it.”
“It looks like the pro-conservation majority        group of highly motivated contestants from
will hold for another year,” says Susan             all walks of life, living together under one         The station was inundated with calls
Lieberman of the World Wildlife Fund, but           roof as they are given tasks to determine their      proclaiming the process worked. Stables’ show
she added the majority might be as slim as          creative talent, sense of style and personality.     has an estimated audience of up to 600,000,
just a single vote as most newer countries          If you think you have what it takes, follow          and he believed a significant amount hold
would be likely to side with the hunters.           the steps below and tell us why you should be        Telecom contracts.
                                                    considered.”
Critics of Japan’s motion say secret votes                                                               “We weren’t encouraging listeners to defraud
would let countries proclaim their opposition       A date for the show has yet to be confirmed          Telecom, we just wanted to see if it worked.
to whaling in public while cutting backroom         but Satellite understands the programme will         Some people were calling in saying they had
deals to allow whaling to take place.               be ass.                                              tolled up between $500 to $900 worth of
                                                                                                         credit.”
Japan, which views whaling as a noble               We were wrong – Blair. British Prime
tradition and whale meat as a prized                Minister Tony Blair has accepted responsibility      Telecom     spokeswoman        Katrina    King
delicacy, lost the vote 29 to 24. A small           for mistakes in the use of intelligence before       confirmed that the promotion was real but
number of states were barred from voting for        the war in Iraq, but insists that Lord Butler’s      should have been turned off after June 19 when
administrative reasons.                             inquiry put to rest any question over his            the promotion ended. The promotion was held
                                                    integrity. He admits the intelligence presented      during Fieldays at Mystery Creek last month.
The body was created in 1946 to control what        to Parliament and the nation was “less certain”
was then a global industry and ensure whales        than people had been told at the time but says       The error occurred where a short code, that
were not hunted to extinction.                      the threat of Saddam Hussein to Britain and the      would enact a reply message offering a free
                                                    world could not be ignored.                          credit, was mistakenly not turned off.
Japan believes there are plenty of some
species of whales. A Japanese delegate told         “No one lied. No one made up the intelligence.       Ms King said no one had been credited since,
Reuters if the IWC does not replace the             No one inserted things into the dossier against      and staff would check the database to ensure
moratorium with a system of sustainable             the advice of the intelligence services. Everyone    those who texted the number would receive a
whaling quotas they would quit the group            genuinely tried to do their best in good faith for   maximum of $10 credit to their account.
next year.                                          the country in circumstances of acute difficulty.
                                                    That issue should now be at an end.”                 Undie survey results
To make its point, it tabled a request to catch                                                          Bendon have concluded their clandestine
2,914 minke whales from the Antarctic               But Conservative leader Michael Howard               marketing research disguised as informative
Ocean, declared a whale sanctuary by the            attacked Mr Blair for failing to give the public     study to announce the existence of the
IWC.                                                an accurate account of the intelligence that was     ridiculously named and blatantly oxymoronic
                                                    placed in front of him.                              “retro-metro-undie-sexual” – the new breed of
They say the annual quota would be just 0.05                                                             New Zealand male. Retro-metro-undie-sexual
per cent of the population and no threat to         “It is now clear that in many ways the               is described by a spokesperson as such:
the whaling population. The quota would be          intelligence services got it wrong,” he says.
worth $300 million of sales on the market.                                                               “That’s a guy who likes to think he doesn’t care
                                                    “But their assessments included serious caveats,     about what undies he wears, but really he does.
“We have been perplexed to realise that a           qualifications and cautions. When presenting         While he doesn’t like shopping for undies, he
whale that consumes three-to-four times its         his case to the country, the Prime Minister          knows exactly what style he wants and usually
own body weight continues to be seen as a           chose to leave out those caveats, qualifications     buys them himself rather than entrusting a
resource that should be untouched by humans         and cautions. Their qualified judgements             girlfriend or mother.”
at a time that the nations of the world strive to   became his unqualified certainties.”                 “New Zealand males really do care about what
find food for their people,” the representative                                                          they wear down under.”
of new member Suriname says.                        At time of print, the Foreign Affairs Select         The survey, dubbed the “Great Revealing
                                                    Committee was due to meet shortly to discuss         Undie Debate, or GRUD, was undertaken by
Japan already kills some 440 minkes there           whether to reopen its inquiry into the Iraq war      300 people. The survey found the average
a year under a clause allowing scientific           after the Butler report revealed that MI6 had        punter is likely to be sporting a black, fitted
research and the meat ends up on the tables         withdrawn crucial evidence that bolstered the        trunk or boxer-brief in stretch cotton.
of restaurants and sushi bars fetching $50          case for war because it was discredited.
million.                                                                                                 The survey says 76% of New Zealand guys
buy their own underwear. Going against the          Nandor       says   decriminalisation      of           live studio performances this season. From
age-old myth that men gladly leave it up to their   weed inevitable - Green MP Nandor                       www.medianstrip.com
mum or girlfriend to purchase.                      Tanczos says that new government figures
                                                    demonstrating a continued fall in convictions           Beatrootz win launchpad
A staggering 17% of guys shop when their            for minor cannabis offences shows that                  Round one winners of the Coke Launchpad
underwear is “too holey to know which one           decriminalisation of cannabis is inevitable.            competition were the Beetrootz from
to put their leg through”. Just 1% say they                                                                 Wellington. The voting went right down to the
buy underwear when the All Blacks win. The          In response to written parliamentary questions          wire and saw over 4500 votes cast.
NZ bloke is a clean one – with 90% changing         from Nandor to Justice Minster Phil Goff, it was
their underwear every day. But a small portion      revealed that 1984 people were convicted of             Beatrootz will receive a music video made
of men choose to change only when there’s the       cannabis use or possession in 2003, about half the      by Satellite Media for their track No DJZ,
possibility of a hot date seeing them in their      figure recorded for 1993 where it peaked at 3717.       this video will debut on Coke New Releases,
underwear.                                                                                                  and be playlisted on The Edge radio network.
                                                    “The New Zealand police are taking a more               In addition, Beatrootz will open a show at
New Zealand finds monopoly champ                    realistic approach to cannabis.” says Nandor, the       Edgefest 2005, feature in an article in the
This year’s NZ Poker championship winner            Green spokesperson for Cannabis Law Reform.             August/September issue of Rip It Up and
showed he was a deft hand at other table games                                                              appear live on Top Of The Pops.
when he took out the New Zealand Monopoly           “Police have driven law reform both in the UK           There are three more rounds to come and
title held at Britomart in Auckland. Andrew         and in Holland, because police recognise that           Round Two of Coke Launchpad opens on
Dimock (26) of Christchurch, will represent         they have more important things to do than              26th July 2004. For more details check out
NZ at the World Monopoly Championship in            arrest people just for cannabis possession.”            www.cokefridge.co.nz
Tokyo this October. The title will be competed
for by 40 countries vying for a $US15,140           New hip hop station                                     New York Dolls bassist dies
grand prize.                                        TRN’s new hip hop/R&B station, Flava 96.1,              Arthur Kane, original bassist for 70s punk rock
                                                    launched recently, bringing the speculation             group the New York Dolls, has died of leukemia
Dimock took out the championship by scoring         game on its format and line-up to a close.              related complications at age 55.
$4,964 worth of assets at the end of a 90-minute    As anticipated, the on-air line-up includes
game. Dimock, who came second in the 1996           popular former Mai FM breakfast host                    Kane was admitted to a Los Angeles hospital
NZ Monopoly Championship, says that with 15         Stacey Daniels and ex-Niu FM host Oscar                 and died not long after being diagnosed with
minutes to go it was still anyone’s game. “The      Kightley on breakfast. One time Beat96                  leukemia, said band manager Darren Hill.
game was pretty intense. I based my strategy on     main man, and another ex-Mai host, Mike
negotiation and just rolling the dice,”             Haru is to host days and Teuila Blakely,                The New York native had been suffering from
                                                    currently seen on C4, will present drive.               severe flu-like symptoms for several days,
“I’m pretty good at board games and after           An      on-air      competition      will        help   forcing him to back out of a July 11 reunion
wining the Poker Champs in March I’m really         find a new night host, says TRN                         show in Manchester, England, Hill said.
happy.” Monopoly is one of the world’s most         Auckland General Manager Grant Lee.
popular board games and is currently sold in 80     “Flava 96.1 will sound, look and feel like its target   “He didn’t even know,” Hill said Thursday.
countries and published in 26 languages.            audience. We are also actively recruiting street-       “It wasn’t until he went into the hospital that
                                                    team staff from all over Auckland,” says Lee.           afternoon that they diagnosed that.”
                                                    Flava 96.1 will provide additional exposure for
Entertainment News                                  New Zealand music and have the advantage of             In a statement on behalf of himself and guitarist
                                                    not playing more than two commercials in a row.         Sylvain Sylvain, Dolls frontman David
                                                    “In the process, we see Flava 96.1 growing              Johansen says: “His bass playing and presence
Anatomy of Hell screenings to go ahead
                                                    the urban advertising market, rather                    were the heart and soul of the New York Dolls
Film Festival organisers say an attempt by
                                                    than cutting into existing segments.”                   and the secret ingredient of our sound.”
The Society for the Promotion of Community
                                                    The station will inevitably go head to head with
Standards to halt showings of controversial
                                                    Mai FM, a consistently strong ratings performer         Kane helped form the New York Dolls in 1972.
French film Anatomy of Hell have backfired.
                                                    for the last few years. It will start by playing        The group recorded only two studio albums
                                                    10,000 songs in a row over the next few weeks           before they split in 1975, but their hard-edged
The decision by the President of the Film and
                                                    in the build-up to revealing its ‘complete sound’.      sound and glam-punk image influenced the
Literature Review Board to decline the Society’s
                                                    The 96.1FM frequency, most recently used                punk rock wave that followed and, years later,
application for an injunction, was welcomed by
                                                    to broadcast Cool Blue and used for years               the late 80s glam-metal scene.
Festival director Bill Gosden.
                                                    prior as a testing ground for various formats,
                                                    is now being beamed from the Sky Tower                  Kane had been working at a Church in Los
“As always, the Society’s attempts to suppress a
                                                    and has a reception coverage pattern “equal             Angeles but rejoined the band after British
film have had the opposite effect,” says Gosden.
                                                    to other FM music stations,” says Lee. From             singer and Dolls fan Morrissey persuaded the
“Anatomy of Hell has now sold out its Saturday
                                                    www.medianstrip.com                                     group to play at London’s Meltdown Festival
night screening in Auckland.”
                                                                                                            last month.
                                                    Space And Hum Set To Return
“Their persistent attempts to undermine the
                                                    NZ On Air will fund another season of two               “I will always remember the look of bashful
credibility of the Classification Office and to
                                                    popular Kiwi music shows, set to return in the          happiness on Arthur’s face as people in the
suggest that the Film Festival promotes the
                                                    next few months. Satellite Media-produced               audience constantly called out his name. He was
degradation of women and the exploitation of
                                                    Space gets $150,000 and TVNZ’s inhouse Hum,             finally back where he belonged,” Morrissey said
children are not only tiresome. They are also
                                                    hosted by Francesca Rudkin, receives $54,500.           in a statement.
expensive to the taxpayer. Anyone wishing to
                                                    NZ On Air Chief Executive Jo Tyndall
show a film publicly in this country is obliged
                                                    says there will be changes to Space.                    Several of the original Dolls members have died.
to meet the costs of censorship in the name of
                                                    “The show this year will feature guest                  Original Dolls drummer Billy Murcia drowned
the public good. Anyone wishing to prevent a
                                                    hosts, have a wider entertainment focus                 in 1972. Dolls guitarist Johnny Thunders died
screening has the substantial costs of servicing
                                                    and more out and about components                       of a drug overdose in 1991. Murcia’s successor,
their complaint, no matter how unfounded or
                                                    giving us a look at New Zealand nightlife.”             Jerry Nolan, had a fatal stroke in 1992.
misguided, subsidised by the taxpayer.”
                                                    There will also be ‘cartoons for grown
                                                    ups’. For the first time, Hum will include
     www.asa.ac.nz/forum/                                                                                                                              05
sString of hope
                                                                     lead                          from Brown. He’s got a slightly bleak outlook
                                                                                                   on life, but that only makes his success all the
                                                                                                   more remarkable.

                                                                                                   He’s now spent the last four years at Duncan
                                                                                                   toys, had amazing performances in countless
                                                                                                   competitions and even received the title of
                                                                                                   Yo-Yo Master in 2001 by the International
                                                                                                   Yo-Yo Museum. The title is given to those
                                                                                                   who have made it to the top of the sport and
                                                                                                   have also made outstanding contributions to
                                                                                                   the advancement of Yo-Yoing. He jokingly
                                                                                                   shoots down the suggestion that it’s quite an
                                                                                                   achievement.

                                                                                                   “It’s just like being someone who’s no damn
                                                                                                   good at it but you just end up getting a whole
                                                                                                   bunch of free stuff.”

                                                                                                   One of the reasons he received the title was
It sounds ridiculous, but the Yo-Yo saved        finally managed to get a job assembling Yo-       because he invented a new form of Yo-Yoing
Steve Brown’s life. Working in a restaurant,     Yo’s in the back of a warehouse.                  – Freehand Yo-Yo. The style involves using a
Brown lost his job, but figured that had a                                                         counterweight on the end of the Yo-Yo string,
few weeks to find work. He had cheap rent    One day, the boss asked if he could work a            meaning he can perform tricks where he lets go
living with his girlfriend and some money    cash register. He lied and said he could. He          of the Yo-Yo completely.
saved up.                                    hung out all day watching Yo-Yo “how to”              “I showed up with it and completely freaked
                                             videos. He started demonstrating the toy              everyone out and won the contest. I came up
He came home to find his girlfriend screwing instore. All the Yo-Yo’s sold out.                    with it because friends had this trick where
someone else. He had to move out, so no                                                            you spun it around your legs and I thought it
more cheap rent. The money quickly dried “The whole cart had been emptied and he                   was stupid because it’d just get caught, so tried
up.                                          thought we’d been robbed. I spent the next            adding a counterweight.”
                                             three and a half years with him.”
“I went from doing just fine and carving out                                                       Freehand style now has its own division at the
a life for myself to ‘I have nothing’ in one In his time with Gregory Cohen’s Infinite             world championships.
week. Fate is fickle.”                       Illusions, he engrossed himself in the art of
                                             throwing toys, boomerangs, Frisbees, you              A quick demo, and it’s obvious he is a master.
“As hard as I was looking for work there was name it. If you can throw it, Steve Brown             The Yo-Yo twists, twirls, boomerangs and flips
nothing forthcoming.                         mastered it.                                          around his body and arms. It’s quite fascinating
                                                                                                   to watch. How does he get so good?
“The longer I stayed out the worse I looked “I’d probably be dead in a ditch [if I wasn’t
and the harder it was to find work. I just got doing this]. I always kinda thought I was           “[The tricks are] all just made up of basically
lucky. I looked like a junkie, and people doomed, I don’t know why.”                               the same bits and pieces put together different
aren’t going to hire a junkie.”                                                                    ways. Eventually you get to put whole on the
                                               With a shaved head, emo glasses and an array        fly, you can just put them together any way you
Homeless for eight months, the Florida native of tats, it’s not hard to get a slightly dark vibe   want.”
                                                                                                                                              06
 s to success
                                                                                             Steve Brown had to go all the way down
                                                                                               before he could come back up. Daniel
                                                                                            Trevarthen speaks to a 29-year-old Yo-Yo
                                                                                                   Master about life on the upswing.




“Practice and lack of a social life, that’s all      devoted. I was there to judge their national     the 80s when there were no skate companies
I’ve got.”                                           champs. I stepped up to do a demo and they       making boards. ‘Hey no-ones making boards
                                                     were so loud I could just hear nothing, it was   so I’ll make one.’ They rebuilt it themselves
But it sounds like there’s a bit more to it than     white noise. It was incredible.”                 and with their four buddies.”
that. Brown is a self-confessed workaholic.
                                                     His aim now, is to see the sport grow. Yo-Yo     After going down to the bottom, Steve Brown
“I’ve got a work ethic from hell, I’m so             crazes traditionally come in booms of seven      has come shooting back up. He is, in effect,
absolutely terrified of having to go through         years or so, according to the toy companies.     a human Yo-Yo. And Brown says the Yo-Yo
that again that I’ll work myself to death.”          New Zealand is on the cusp of a new Yo-Yo        is here to stay.
                                                     craze. Nina Stevenson, Product Manager for
There’s a bleakness in his words. He hasn’t          toy company Hasbro (Duncan distributors in       “Once the craze dies out [this time around]
forgotten what it’s like to live on the streets.     New Zealand) says, “the popularity of retro      there’ll be such a worldwide player base it’s
He won’t let himself. That’s one of the              toys peak approximately every seven years as     not going to come close to dying. It is still
reasons he won’t fail, at whatever he’s doing.       a new generation of players emerge. “            kinda that marginal activity that people don’t
Vacations are non-existent, he works 60-70                                                            take seriously”
hours a week.                                        But Brown wants to see the Yo-Yo come back
                                                     for good.                                        “It’s not going anywhere; it’s too widespread,
“I’ve been running so hard for so long that on                                                        too entrenched”
the rare occasion that I don’t have anything to      “Most countries already have a solid player
do I get so nervous and freaked out that I just      base. I’m more just trying to get people into    And by extension, it looks like Steve Brown,
start working on something. I definitely hope        it. You had a bunch of people that brought       sportsman, entrepreneur, workaholic, is here
that sometime in the near future I can slow          yoyos but didn’t learn how to use them. The      to stay.
it down but right now I’m pulling it off so I        goal is not just to make the sale; the job is
can’t argue too much.”                               to spread the sport. Then you’re building
                                                     yourself a solid year round business.”           Steve Brown’s career:
He’s had to adjust to people’s reactions to                                                           1996
his occupation. Although he can state that he        “The cycles are getting much shorter, some       • World Yo-Yo Contest - 4th Place
works in marketing and product development,          down to three or four years.”                    1997
the reality is that this means a lot of travelling                                                    • World Yo-Yo Contest – Single A - 4th
to perform Yo-Yo demonstrations.                     Duncan has been the company that’s kept the      Place
                                                     sport going in between booms, but the kids       • World Yo-Yo Contest – Single A Freestyle
“Some people are impressed by it and some            deserve all the credit.                          - 3rd Place
people think it’s stupid and some people                                                              1998
genuinely want to talk about it. I get a lot         “It’s so much easier with the internet. Any      • World Yo-Yo Contest – Single A Freestyle
of comments like ‘why don’t you get a real           kid can get online and see what every other      - 4th Place
job?’”                                               kid in the world is doing. It’s really awesome   1999
                                                     that the kids have taken it upon themselves to   • Bay Area Classic Invitational – Freestyle
“Kids are either amazed or intimidated.”             build up a worldwide community.”                 - 1st Place
                                                                                                      2001
He’s managed to travel to five different             He draws comparison to skating’s re-             • Bay Area Classic Invitational – Freestyle
continents, stretching countries such as             emergence, which occurred thanks to a            - 1st Place (while blindfolded)
Singapore, Malaysia, Brazil, Germany,                small Los Angeles skate team known as the        • National Yo-Yo Master Award (1 of only 7
England and now New Zealand. Brazil                  “Z-Boys”. The story was told in the popular      people to hold this title)
garnered the biggest reaction.                       documentary Dogtown and Z-Boys.                  • Retired from Competition

“The players there are just so freaking              “It’s just like how skating [came back] in                                               07
         spiritual
Is this all there is? Really?
By Jill Shaw, Chaplaincy Services
                                                   Studies show that the majority of New
                                                   Zealanders believe in a concept of God.
                                                   Much of life happens in the marketplace or
                                                                                                       terrified of religion because they associate
                                                                                                       it, often with good reason historically, with
                                                                                                       fundamentalism, fascism or destructive
How would it be if we started anew, without        on the playing field. Bluck ties spirituality       emotionalism. It is a habit of the secular
our fears, the wounds of abuse, the excesses       in with national identity issues and examines       mind to constantly point to the negative and
and injustices highlighted in history?             the distance between how people express             abusive expressions of the religious instinct,
How would it be to not have labels and             their spirituality and why the religious            and having our noses rubbed in these negative
preconceptions...?                                 community is unable or unwilling to connect         expressions is supposed to cure us of the
                                                   the dots for people. Why divorce the secular        desire for a religious life. But although the
Well, for one, it would be exhausting. It          from the spiritual? Why not seek wholeness,         religious instinct can be manipulated to serve
is convenient to form opinions and then            unity & integration? Some of our performers,        evil purposes, it is nevertheless a powerful
carry them around so they do not have to           athletes and artists are attempting that.           force that must be aroused if any society
be reformed time and again. It’s easier. It’s                                                          is to achieve greatness. The transformative
kinda like the safety and security of culture,     “It is all around us. Even now in this very         energy in self and society comes not from
knowing what to expect, where we fit in and        room. You can see it when you look out your         positive thinking, social legislation or secular
what is acceptable. Culture, even in a home,       window. Or when you turn on your television.        politics, but from our discovery of the
is knowing whether to squeeze the toothpaste       You can feel it when you go to work. When           spiritual dimension of life, which gives us the
from the middle or the end, whether the user       you go to Church. When you pay your taxes.          courage to change, trusting in a deeply secure
will replace the toilet roll or someone will “be   It is the world that has been pulled over your      foundation.” Re-enchantment - The New
mother” and do it for you. It is expectations,     eyes to blind you from the truth.”                  Australian Spirituality, by David Tacey.
social norms, and shared values.                   - Morpheus,The Matrix
                                                                                                       Most artists, visionaries, innovative or
And what of spirituality? Would it feature         Part of the problem is that most of us do           pushing-the-boundaries kind of people are
in our shared values? If so, what might it         not have an integrated and philosophically          spiritual. There is something that makes them
look like? Would it come from within us            supportable view of life and the world.             deviate and excel. There may be a sense of
- kind of a limiting thought - or might it be      Worldviews are fragmented. We collect bits          identity or individualism or a need to express,
inspired or fuelled from something greater         and pieces of values and perceptions from our       whether they are understood or not. How and
than ourselves?                                    kindy teachers, our nana, the newspaper and         why will we rationalize, secularize or dismiss
                                                   sports commentators. Then we go through             their spirituality?
What would happen, do you think, if we             life without sifting or sorting through those.
could sit down with a culturally diverse           We add information and sometimes make               So explore. Or remain stunted. Consider
group of people and discuss what society           shifts, but rarely do we STOP and think. But,       who you are spirituality and what it might all
should look like? If we could ask how we           according to David Tacey, there is more to it       mean. Is our spiritual well being in the hands
could determine right from wrong, justice          than thinking.                                      of 15 burly men on a paddock? A Tokoroa-
from oppression? If we could determine                                                                 born storeman recently quoted in the New
what an ideal society would be like and how        David Tacey is Associate Professor and              Zealand Herald said of the All Blacks, “You
we should function within it with meaning,         Reader in Arts at La Trobe University               could say they are gods - you do hold them
purpose and great fulfilment? And then if          in Melbourne. He is author of “Edge of              up.”
Jesus were to join us and nod his head in          the Sacred”, “Re-enchantment: The New
agreement, acknowledging that this too is the      Australian Spirituality” and “The Spirituality      Are we really objects to be counted and
desire of his heart!?                              Revolution: The Emergence of Contemporary           costed and valued by our effectiveness
                                                   Spirituality”. He writes,                           or usefulness? Isn’t there more to it than
What if we were to dispense with the                                                                   keeping score and collecting more?
organised religion that so many consider as        “This typical dualism between spiritual and
a “crock-of-something-unmentionable” and           social worlds is false, and it has a debilitating   Do you have the courage to explore your
just take Jesus’ teachings, if possible, into      effect on our revolutionary zeal - our desire to    spiritual side, to really find out what might
a cultural vacuum, and see what kind of            change the world quickly runs out of steam,         be? If so, begin the journey. Once begun, the
community would emerge?                            because it is not being replenished or directed     journey must not be abandoned. Don’t look
                                                   by the spirit. We do not have the mental            back. You may change. You may begin to
It would be fun to explore what                    capacity to bring about lasting change in this      see the world in a different way. Have the
could be. Many are, exploring that is.             world until we have opened ourselves and            courage? Have the courage.
Check       out     www.futurechurch.org.nz,       our culture to the transformative possibilities
www.cultwatch.com and www.deepsight.org/           of the sacred. The rational part of us lacks the     Exercises
goscul/flinks.htm for links too many to            resources to initiate real change, even as it
follow. Books I’ve recently unearthed include      seems to be motivated by pragmatic ideals.          List people who have shaped your life for
“Long White & Cloudy: In Search of a Kiwi          Nothing great or lasting can be achieved with       better & why.
Spirituality” by John Bluck.                       purely secular motivations.                         Did they have an obvious spiritual
                                                   Yet many of our progressive thinkers remain         dimension?
ity week
What spirituality do you see in your favourite
artists?
What is spirituality for you and how do you
experience it?
                                                    thing if someone that I know dies.
                                                    6. Where do we come from?
                                                    Our mums :-) I have no idea.
                                                                                                      their faith, to give them hope, to make them
                                                                                                      humble and not have their ego blown out of
                                                                                                      proportion. Humans need an abstract friend
                                                                                                      to talk to, an abstract power to be afraid of,
                                                                                                      and for these reasons they pray. I didn’t say I



                                                      2
 Suggested reading                                                                                    did not believe in god, but yes my vision of
                                                    1. Full name and                                  god is an unexplainable power that humans
Sophie’s World: A Novel about the History of        course of study/job at                            will always need to give them peace in their
Philosophy, Jostein Gaarder                         Massey                                            mind, heart and soul.
Further Along the Road Less Travelled, M.           Phil Mann,         Deputy
Scott Peck                                          Regional Registrar                                4. Do you attend religious ceremonies?
Soul Survivor, Philip Yancey                        2. Do you believe in a                            I do attend as many religious ceremonies as
Messy Spirituality, Michael Yaconelli               God? What faith do                                I can, not restricting myself to a particular
                                                                                                      faith. In Hinduism for instance, we have
The Spirituality Revolution: The Emergence          you belong to?
                                                                                                      many religious ceremonies but if you go back
of Contemporary Spirituality, David Tacey           I am a practicing Christian. I’ll get it right
                                                                                                      in history, this was the place where Indians
How Now Shall We Live, Charles Colson &             one day.
                                                                                                      could go without being harassed (before
Nancy Pearcy                                        3. Why do you believe in God?
                                                                                                      independence), and talk to friends about
The Abolition of Man, C.S. Lewis                    I am convinced that there is a Creator, am
                                                                                                      how to attain independence. That is how
The Lord of the Rings Trilogy, J.R.R.               aware of my own spiritual dimension. I enjoy
                                                                                                      Indians have so many ceremonies, it was just
Tolkein                                             a personal relationship with Christ Jesus.
                                                                                                      a way to meet friends and relatives privately.
I And Thou - Martin Buber                           4. Do you attend religious ceremonies?
                                                                                                      Even today, with a fast paced world, these
                                                    I regularly enjoy Church at the Sallies in
Aotearoa Psalms: Prayers of a New People                                                              ceremonies make you humble, give you a
                                                    Browns Bay, if you can call that religious.
- Joy Cowley                                                                                          sense of belonging, connect you to your roots,
                                                    5. Is there life after death?
How People Grow - Henry Cloud & John                                                                  open up (break) the boundaries between
                                                    You bet ya, and I’m looking forward to it!
Townsend                                                                                              people. Everything is done for a reason, don’t
                                                    6. Where do we come from?
What’s So Amazing About Grace? - Philip                                                               blindly follow religion. Question what are
                                                    Uniquely created in our mothers womb.
Yancey                                                                                                we doing, why are we doing it. Only then
                                                    Don’t believe any of those stories about the
Edge of the Sacred - David Tacey                                                                      can a person fully understand the meaning of
                                                    stalk or discoveries in the cabbage patch.
Re-enchantment: The New Australian                                                                    religion and religious ceremonies.



                                                      3
Spirituality - David Tacey
Mere Christianity - C.S. Lewis                                                                        5. Is there life after death?
                                                    1. Full name and course of study/job at
Making All Things New - Henri Nouwen                                                                  Death is not the end of a soul, it’s just the end
                                                    Massey
                                                                                                      of a body, the soul always lives on. I believe
Ruthless Trust: The Ragamuffin’s Path to            Ranjeeta       Bhavnani, BBS degree               there is life after death, after death our souls
God - Brennan Manning                               majoring in Finance and Information               are reborn and come back in a different form.
Jesus Among Other Gods - Ravi Zacharias             Systems, also the administration vice             It is a cycle that keeps going on and on till
                                                    president at ASA.
                                                                                                                     eternity. I believe that today
Vox Pops
    what do you believe?                            2. Do you believe in a God?
                                                                                                                     one of us could be another
                                                                                                                     form of someone who lived


   1
                                                    What faith do you belong to?
1. Full name and course of study/job at                                                                              300 years ago.
                                                    I do believe in god as a supreme
Massey                                              being, an unexplainable power, a
                                                                                                                     6. Where do we come from?
Lee-Sia Yuen        Student - BBS                   sense of belonging to a particular
                                                                                                                     As I said it is a cycle that will
2. Do you believe in a God?                         race of being human, but I don’t
                                                                                                                     continue till eternity, that has
No I don’t.                                         believe in different religions that
                                                                                                                     been going on since the world
3. Why not?                                         have come up over the years, that
                                                                                                                     was created. And to answer
I use to when I was young, but as I grew up I       separate humans into categories.
                                                                                                                     such questions, like where did
realised there are so many versions of certain      Religion is just a guideline and
                                                                                                                     we come from, humans like us
stories to believe and the “ancient documents”      in my opinion should be treated as that. I am
                                                                                                      need god. We want to believe in the supreme
are all open to interpretation... and or... could   a hindu but I have never restricted myself to
                                                                                                      being that created us. We want to believe
be some kids story book. So, it’s just easier to    just a temple. I have happily participated in
                                                                                                      that there is something much, much more
believe in nothing and have no opinion.             Christian, Muslim and Buddhist faiths, and
                                                                                                      powerful than us, who holds the strings of
4. Do you attend religious ceremonies?              would love to learn more.
                                                                                                      our life. I have not questioned the existence
Hmm, only if my mum makes me.... but no,
                                                                                                      of god, so to answer this I will say, we came
not really.                                         3. Why?
                                                                                                      from that unexplainable source of power.
5. Is there life after death?                       I believe that humans need someone or
No there isn’t. But I will use it as a comfort      something abstract to believe in, to strengthen                                              09
                         lil’ bits of humour
Think why women
sometimes crabby
                                        are                             laugh
                                                 off, the beautiful little darlings morph
                                                 into walking, jabbering, wet, gooey, snot-
                                                 blowing, life-sucking little poop machines.
                                                                                               Usage:     Highly      ornamental.     An
We start to “bud” in our blouses at 9 or 10      And...The teen years. Need I say more?
                                                                                               extremely good catalyst for dispersion of
years old, only to find that anything coming                                                   wealth. Probably the most powerful income
in contact with those tender, blooming buds      The kids are almost grown now and we
                                                 women hit our voracious sexual prime in       reducing agent known.
hurts so bad it brings us to tears. Enter...
the almighty, uncomfortable training bra         our mid-30’s to early 40’s while hubby
                                                                                               Caution: Highly explosive in inexperienced
contraption the boys in school will snap         had his somewhere around his 18th
                                                                                               hands.
until we have calluses on our backs.             birthday. Now we hit the grand finale:
                                                 “The Menopause”, the Grandmother of           2. Element Name: MANIUM
Next, we get our periods in our early            all womanhood. It’s either take the HRT
to mid-teens (or sooner). Along with             and chance cancer in those now seasoned       Symbol: XY
those budding boobs, we now bloat, we            buds” or the aforementioned “Nether           Atomic Weight: (180 +/- 50)
cramp, we get hormone crankies, have             Regions”, or sweat like a hog in July,
to wear little mattresses between our            wash your sheets and pillowcases daily,       Physical Properties: Solid at room
legs or insert tubular, packed cotton rods       and bite the head off anything that moves.    temperature, but gets bent out of shape
in places we didn’t even know we had.                                                          easily. Fairly dense and sometimes flaky.
                                                 So, you ask WHY women seem to be              Difficult to find a pure sample. Due to
Our next little rite of passage is having        more spiteful than men, when men get          rust, aging samples are unable to create
sex for the first time which is about as         off so easy INCLUDING the icing on            electricity.
much fun as having a ramrod push your            life’s cake.... being able to pee in the
                                                 woods without soaking their socks...?         Chemical Properties: Attempts to bond
uterus through your nostrils, leaving us
                                                                                               with any WO, any chance it can get. Also
to wonder what all the fuss was about.
                                                 Now, I love being a woman,                    tends to form strong bonds with itself.
                                                 but  “Womanhood”  would  make                 Becomes explosive when mixed with KD
Then it’s off to Motherhood where we
                                                 the Great Gandhi a tad crabby.                (Element: CHILDIUM) for prolonged
learn to live on dry crackers & water for
                                                                                               periods of time. Neutralize by saturating
a few months so we don’t spend the entire
                                                 Women are the “weaker sex”? Yeah right!       with alcohol.
day leaning over Brother John. Of course,
amazing creatures that we are (and we            Bite me!
                                                                                               Usage: None known. Possibly good
are), we learn to live with the growing                                                        methane source. Good samples are able to
little angels inside us steadily kicking         Take the time to live!!!      Life is too
                                                 short...Dance Naked!!!!                       produce large quantities on command.
our innards night and day making us
wonder if we’re having Rosemary’s Baby.                                                        Caution: In the absence of WO, this
                                                 Subject: New Elements                         element rapidly decomposes and begins
Our once flat bellies now look like we                                                         to smell.
swallowed a watermelon whole and we              Two new elements added to the periodic
pee our pants every time we sneeze. When         table:                                        A bit of a French Lesson
the big moment arrives, the dam inside                                                         here.
our blessed nether regions will invariably       1. Element Name: WOMANIUM
burst right in the middle of the mall and        Symbol: WO                                    A French Oui-Oui?
we’ll waddle with our big cartoon feet,          Atomic Weight: (Don’t even go there)
moaning in pain, all the way to the ER.                                                        When Charles de Gaulle decided to retire
                                                 Physical Properties: Generally soft and       from public life, the British
Then it’s huff and puff and beg to                                                             ambassador and his wife threw a gala
die while the OB says, “Please stop              round in form. Boils at nothing and may
                                                 freeze at any time. Melts when treated        dinner party in his honor.
screaming, Mrs. Hearmeroar.        Calm
down and push. Just one more good                properly. Very Bitter if not used well.
                                                                                               At the dinner table the Ambassador’s wife
push (or 10)” warranting a strong, well-                                                       was talking with Madame
                                                 Chemical Properties: Very active. Highly
deserved impulse to punch the jerk (and                                                        de Gaulle.
                                                 unstable. Possesses strong affinity with
hubby) square in the nose for making us
                                                 gold, silver, platinum and precious stones.
cram a wiggling, mushroom-headed 10                                                            “Your husband has been such a prominent
                                                 Violent when left alone. Able to absorb
lb bowling ball out through a keyhole!                                                         public figure, such a presence on
                                                 great amounts of exotic food. Turns
                                                 slightly green when placed next to a better   the French and International scene for so
After that, it’s time to raise those angels...
only to find that when all that “cute” wears
                                                 specimen.                                     many years! How quiet retirement     10
will seem in comparison. What are you
most looking forward to in these
retirement years?”                                                                 STUDENT EXCHANGE
“A p’enis,” replied Madame de Gaulle.
                                                                                        SEMINAR
                                                                                   For Adventurous Kiwis only
A huge hush fell over the table. Everyone                                      Why wait for your OE to begin…? Massey
heard her answer... and no one                                                 offers full-time degree students a fabulous
knew what to say next.                                                         chance to: enhance their university experience;
                                                                               enrich their lives; examine new perspectives;
                                                                               travel and become representatives of Massey
Le Grand Charles leaned over to his wife                                       & New Zealand, through the Massey Student
and said, “Mon cherie, I believe                                               Exchange Programme.
ze English pronounce zat word,                                                 Choose your ultimate experience by selecting
‘appiness!’                                                                    from Massey’s world-class partner institutions in
                                                                               the US, Canada, Scandinavia, Europe and Asia.
                                                                                    §   Continue to pay Massey tuition fees
                                                                                    §   Transfer for one or two semesters
The good oil                                                                        §   Cross-credit papers
                                                                                    §   Make new friends
                                                                                    §   Travel & experience a new culture
Life should not be a journey to the                                            Financial assistance may be available through
grave with the intention of arriving                                           travel grants, & the College of Humanities &
safely in a pretty and well reserved body,                                     Social Sciences offer attractive study awards to
                                                                               assist their students.
but rather, to skid in broadside, thoroughly
                                                                               Come along to the Information Seminar
used up, totally worn out, and loudly                                          to find out more, hear from past participants &
shouting....”Wow! What a ride! Thank                                           speak with visiting exchange students.
You, God!”
                                                                                        When: 4th August 2004
If fathers raised the kids.                                                            Where: QB 3 Time: 12.00
                                                                                         Contact: Programme Manager,
                                                                                           Rachel Fenton on extn. 2159
                                                                                        or email r.a.fenton@massey.ac.nz




                                                           satellite’s
                                                            time waster                                       ASTROLOGERS
                                                                                                              AZKABAN
                                                                                                              BILINGUAL
                                               Y   N   S   K   D   K   T   S   B   E   Q   N   D   S    S     BOY KILLS MAN
                                               W   T   K   I   I   E   E   H   L   F   O   A   I   U    R     BRANCHES
                                                                                                              CONFUSION
                                               L   A   I   T   N   H   C   E   G   I   O   B   S   O    E     DECISION
                                               T   A   K   L   C   G   M   I   T   I   C   A   C   M    G     DISCOVERY
                                                                                                              DRENCHED
                                               Y   A   U   N   A   E   I   A   S   O   E   K   O   R    O     EIGHT
                                               T   R   A   G   N   U   T   N   N   I   T   Z   V   O    L     ELEMENTS
                                               M   R   E   T   N   N   T   F   G   L   O   A   E   N    O     ENORMOUS
                                                                                                              INTERPRET
                                               B   A   S   T   E   I   U   I   O   B   Y   N   R   E    R     KIT KAT
                                               R   O   O   I   S   S   L   V   R   Z   I   Z   Y   J    T     LAZY
                                                                                                              MAORI
                                               E   Y   R   R   I   Y   E   I   A   I   N   R   D   K    S     MYSTERY
                                               D   O   Q   O   I   R   M   L   B   J   P   V   D   R    A     NINJA
                                               M   Y   N   A   B   O   Y   K   I   L   L   S   M   A    N     ORIENTATION
                                                                                                              POLITICS
                                               O   S   C   A   T   T   E   R   P   R   E   T   N   I    C     REDMORE
                                               R   J   D   R   E   N   C   H   E   D   N   I   N   J    A     REVOLT
                                                                                                              SCATTER
                                               E   H   T   S   C   I   T   I   L   O   P   M   A   Y    O     SINGING BIRD
                                                                                                              SPIRITUALITY
                                                                                                              YO YO

                                                                                                                              11
                   up close and
                     personal                                             checked our budget before
                                                                          to make sure we could
                                                                          afford it… Luckily the
                                                                          manager saw the humour.
                                                                                                           Jon tries his guts out… he needs an honest
                                                                                                           certificate of participation, but to be honest it’s
                                                                                                           probably me.

                                                                          How did you enjoy the            Where did you shoot the video for Leather
                                                                          show here?                       and Tattoos?
                                                                          We’ve played in Albany           We shot it in May St (48May are named after a
                                                                          once before. We were up          Hamilton flat they lived in). We couldn’t use [48
                                                                          with a few other really          May St] because it was too small but I think we
                                                                          good bands. As soon as we        used 38 May.
                                                                          got up it was wicked. We
                                                                          walked away thinking we          Can you tell me about this fetish your band
                                                                          had a mean response here.        has for 80s metal?
                                                                          There were heaps of people       You sort of grow up through different genres of
                                                                          requesting the singles and       music but at the end of the day we can’t deny
                                                                          singing along.                   what we got into when we first liked music.
With a hot new single on the                                                                               48May’s very much a ‘yes’ band, everyone’s
airwaves and all over C4, 48May still                                     Do you have a release            ideas get used and that’s why we have a lot of
                                                                          date for the album yet?          material.
managed to find the time to come
                                                                          Around mid-October.



                                                         48May
to little old Massey University at                                                                         If you could be in any band in the world,
Albany. Dan Trevarthen speaks to                                                                           what band would you be in?
bassist Shannon Brown following an                                                                         It’s a tough one between KISS and Def Leppard.
                                                                                                           It’s gotta be KISS, really.
entertaining and event-filled set.
                                                                                                           It’s Maori language week, do you speak
Are you looking forward to the national
                                                                                                           much Maori?
tour?
                                                                                                                 I found out what a hangi was a little
I can’t wait, it’s been a couple of months just
                                                                                                                 while ago… We’re all pretty bad at it.
getting stuck in and doing admin for the tour
                                                                                                                 Jon’s half Asian.
and rehearsing. You just get amped for the ride,
just to leave the admin stuff behind.
                                                                                                                   And it’s also spirituality week at
                                                                                                                   Massey Albany this week, do the
What was the craziest show last time you
                                                                                                                   members of 48May believe in God?
toured?
                                                                                                                   I definitely wouldn’t class us as a




                                           NZ
Last time we played in Whangarei and it was
                                                                                                           Christian band but we definitely believe in God
a massive night. We’re definitely excited to get                                     Is that the first
                                                                                                           and we definitely believe in karma. To sum it
back there.                                                                          time you’ve had
                                                                                                           up, there’s no hard Christians in this band, or
                                                                                     to spew during a
                                                                                                           Buddhists or Monks.
Any places that you haven’t been that you’re                                         show?
looking forward to checking out?                     No, the other time I was playing a Wellington
                                                                                                           Any last words?
More of the South Island, it’ll be 48May’s first     High School and I was really hung over. The
                                                                                                           This other student magazine asked as, and
national tour so we’re excited about making          guitar tech had to put a bucket by the stage so I
                                                                                                           I’m not saying that you should use it, but they
some noise down there. We seem to get a lot of       could do a sneaky one. It’s the first time I’ve had
                                                                                                           asked us if 48May were in a plane crash in the
web hits from there so there’s definitely a bit of   to leave the stage [to spew].
                                                                                                           mountains, who would get eaten first…
a fanbase.
                                                     How’s the album sounding?
                                                                                                           Who was it?
Tell me some crazy stories.                          Wicked, we’re just really, really stoked to get
                                                                                                           Jon, because I think we could all convince
Dryden and Mike from Alien Ant Farm have this        Greg Haver on board. He’s produced so many
                                                                                                           him that it’s the right thing to do, we told him




                                           MUSIC
thing with pissing all the time. We were having      albums that he’s at that stage of his career that
                                                                                                           about [our answer] and he was like ‘what’, but
an afterparty once and we got one of every kind      he only produces stuff he wants. Him and a guy
                                                                                                           then we convinced him and he was like yeah,
of energy pill we could find and crushed it up       from York St have just signed on to produce Mel
                                                                                                           probably.
and dared Jon (lead vocals) to snort it. He said     C’s (former Spice Girl) album. Because he really
it was the most horrible thing he’d done. I liked    got into the material his vibe was the same vibe
watching his eyes twitching.                         as our vibe. It’s an album of singles.
In Christchurch, wanting to live the rock and
roll lifestyle we threw a TV out the window. We      Who’s the hardest drinker in the band?
                                                                                                                                                        12
Hometown Advantage      The band:
                                                                           Satellite spoke to pop-punkers Hometown Advantage via
                                                                           email after seeing them play a fun-filled set at the end of
                        Sam Polwart - Vocals                               semester party.
                        Dominic Elliot - Guitar
                        Richard Hurliman - Guitar
                        Malcolm Silberbauer - Bass
                        Adam Leggett - Drums




                     1. Were you disappointed in the
                     turnout?
                     Well, the organisation of the
                     show was out of our hands, so        it. Founding members Richard and Malcolm
                     we really have no reason to be       sought out a vocalist and guitarist in late 2002.
                     disappointed. We love playing        Dominic was recruited along with original
                     shows, it’s what we do. We’d still   vocalist, Drummer Adam was soon to follow.
                     put on a great show regardless of    A number of small shows were played before
                     whether there was an audience of     it became apparent that there was a conflict of      Because we all love music and look sexy playing
                     2 or 2000.                           interest with the singer. So he left. After months   it (we think so).
                                                          of crappy auditions hope was all but lost. Until
                     2. Tell me what they were missing    one day Sam was bored and thought he would           11. Who gets all the girls in the band?
                     out on.                              join a band for shits and giggles. He was            Malcolm sees more ladies underwear than a
   Our bar tab for one thing, haha. Seriously             auditioned and accepted in March 2004. [With]        female changing room.
   though, we are entertainers as well as                 the band now completed and all members
   musicians. We have fun, play hard and try to           having the same vision. This is how Hometown         12. Any role models in the NZ scene?
   pull some laughs while we’re at it. It’s all about     Advantage came to be.                                We have to give Zed credit for coming out of
   having a good time!                                                                                         nowhere internationally and




                                                NZ
                                                          7. Ultimate celebrity date?                          owning the commercial market. Pacifier (self
   3. Where are you guys playing next?                    Richard = Avril Lavigne                              explanatory). Steriogram have
   July 30 Battle of the Bands (North Shore Heats)        Dominic = Kate Hawksby                               also been an inspiration lately. We also look up
   @ Masonic Tavern                                       Adam = Jo Seager (she cooks a mean roast)            to all bands in New Zealand
                                                          Malcolm = anyone that breathes                       that have the balls to get up on stage and go
   4. What are the band’s goals?                          Sam = there aren’t celebrity sheep, are there?       hard.
   Self-funded single recorded in the next three
   months, nationwide schools tour in summer              8. What are your three desert island discs?          13. Anything you wanna add?
   2005, play at Edgefest with some of the worlds         Blink 182 – Duderanch, Avril Lavigne - Let Go        Come see us live and local. We put on a good
   greatest artists, play Big Day Out (if they’ll         (Photo spread included), Lost Prophets - Last        show, the more the merrier.
   have us!), Malcolm (Bassist) to get a girlfriend,      Train Home
   record an album by 2006
                                                          9. Beatles or Elvis?
   5. You’re the opening act for a musical                Beatles (Dom Loves them)




                                                MUSIC
   extravaganza featuring three other very good
   bands. What are those three bands?                     10. Why does Hometown Advantage exist?
   New Found Glory, Metallica, Blink 182

   6. When did you guys get together? How did
   this happen?
   Bloody hell, this is a long story so I’ll shorten
                                                                                                                                                         13
    New Zealand                                                            taku whakaaro




                                                                                                                             MAORIMAORIMAORIMAORI
                                    MAORIMAORIMAORIMAORI
      Culture                                                      with Naomi Patterson
                                                 Kia ora koutou katoa
Kia ora koutou                                   Kua tae te wiki o te reo te tikanga. Ko tēnei te wero ki
                                                 Māori, ko tēnei te wiki kua a koutou, ko koutou te tikanga.
Te Wiki o te Reo Mäori is upon us,               whakahākari te reo Maori, te ao Ko koutou te kaiwhakahaere
this is the time that New Zealanders,            Maori, hoki. Ko te kaupapa o o ōna akoranga. Kaua koutou
no matter where the genealogy                    te kōrero nei, kōrero tonu mai. i tata ki a wai, haere tonu ka
began, can celebrate their New                   Aha koa hē iti, hē pounamu. whai ake to koutou akoranga e
Zealandness.       Now before you                Ka mihi atu ki o koutou hoa i pā ana ki te reo Māori, ki te ao
start muttering paragraphs from                  roto i te reo, kia ora, tēnā koe Māori hoki.
Don Brash and his Orewa speech,                  era momo mihi.
just think how would you like to                                                  Ae koutou, kua tae mai te wā,
differentiate yourself from Ozzys                I kōrero ahau ki a Dan kei a koutou te tikanga.
when you are doing your great OE?                Trevarthen i tērā marama, ko
The lands down under are often all               te kaupapa o te kōrero, ko wai No reira tēnā koutou, tēnā
lumped together by people who                    i whakapākehātia nga pānui koutou tēnā koutou katoa.
have never had the good fortune                  Māori? E kii atu ahau, ko koe
to head south for their winter. Try
the All Blacks haka in English, just                                       maori proverbs
isn’t the same is it?                                               provided by Fiona Te Momo
The Mäori culture, mäoritanga,                  Kia ora Koutou,
is the one thing that sets New                  He aha te mea nui o te ao? He tangata, he tangata, he tangata.
Zealanders apart from everyone                  What is the most important thing in the world? It is people, it is
else. Integral to that culture is the           people, it is people.
language, te reo Mäori. So for
this years celebration of our New               Naau te raurau, Naaku te raurau, Ka ora te tangata,
Zealandness why don’t you get                   With your basket and my basket, we can feed the people
yourself some Mäori knowledge.
Greet your friends with kia ora, or             Te manu e kai ana i te miro nona te ngahere. Te manu e kai
tena koe – but be sure you know                 ana i te matauranga nona te ao.
what it is you are saying first. The            The bird that eats the miro belongs to the forest. The birds that eats
language of the tangata whenua is               from education belongs to the world.
a beautiful language, and Massey
is the place that has developed my                                             Massey University
                                                                                      presents
love of the beauty of that language
and culture. I can stand and show
my New Zealandness to the world
                                                                       77th Anniversary
can you?
Gnomes
                                                                     Cultural Performance
                                                                        We are looking for talent!
                                                                     Dancers, models, MCs, singers!

                                                                               Interested?
                                                    Please come to International Student Support Office, Quad A Building
                                                           (Ask for James) or phone 414 0800 ext 9528 by Friday August 20.
  Campus    What’s on                                             ‘THE PORCELAIN SALANADER’ by Orson Scott
                                                                  Card.
                                                                  A FREE 30 minute ‘ground breaking’ performance
                                                                                                                               S.A.P




                                                                                                                                     s.a.p.s.a.p
                                                                  involving both human and computer-controlled characters,
                                                                  forming part of a research project at Massey University.
                                                                  The synthetic characters who appear on projected screens
            20th July- 2nd August 2004
All public are welcome to attend the following events.
                                                                  are completely autonomous during the performance, taking
                                                                  their dues from the behaviour of the other actors on the    Student Assistance
                                                                  stage. FREE Admission. Suitable for kids!
     Unless stated otherwise Admission is FREE
                                                                  Venue: The ‘Undergound’ Theatre (AT2), Atrium Bldg.
                                                                                                                                  Program
                                                                  Times: Friday 30th July – 5pm, Saturday 31st July – 3pm
 Tue 20th
 July
              JAZZ WORKSHOP – 5pm to 6.30pm, Study
              Centre Staff Lounge. Come and listen to
                                                                  or 6pm.
                                                                  For more information contact Tony Meyer on Extn 9527 or     If you are struggling
              Massey Students play jazz. The sessions will        email: tameyer@massey.ac.nz.
              be followed by comments from their music
              instructors and questions from the audience.
                                                                                                                             with funds while stud-
                                                                                Classifieds                                    ying at Massey. SAP
 Sat 24th     WINTER MUSIC 2004
 July         The Masters & Their Music IV
                                                                Conservation Volunteers Needed - Join “Friends of
                                                                                                                              provides a hardship
              ‘A Tribute to Duke Ellington’
              Saturday 24th July
              Jazz Workshop Sessions - $15ea,
                                                                Three Streams & Kauri Grove Inc” to participate in
                                                                conservation of native bush in Albany. Only $5 for a
                                                                                                                                  fund for you.
              $10 Concession (Students with ID)                 year. Check out www.threestreams.org.nz
              Audience: Adult $10, Child $5 13yrs & under.
              10am – Piano, Guitar, Trumpet, Saxophone,
              1pm – Bass, Voice, Drums, Trombone.               Purpose-driven life - Book now to participate in a study     For more information




                                                                                                                  s.a.p
              6.30pm - Concert Dinner–Atrium Round Rm,          group reading The Purpose Driven Life by Rick Warren.
              8pm - Concert – ‘A Tribute to Duke Ellington’
              Atrium ‘Underground’ Theatre
                                                                Cost is $15 & includes book & refreshments. Meetings
                                                                will be in SC2, Wednesdays 12-1pm, Aug 4, 11, 18, 25,
                                                                                                                                   contact :
                                                                Sept 8, 15, 22, & 29. Open to entire Massey community!
              Dinner/Concert $55pp,                             Register your interest by emailing albchaplains@mas
              Concert Only $25pp
              Workshop/Dinner/Concert $65pp
                                                                sey.ac.nz or phoning ext. 9224. Sponsored by Massey
                                                                Chaplaincy Services.
                                                                                                                                 Peter Knight
              For info about Winter Music 2004 and to
              register, ph. June Clewett on 09 4140800
                                                                New fonefill service - Fill up your Vodafone mobile at
                                                                                                                                 Education &
              Extn 9553
                                                                the Atrium office. Top ups available in $20, $25, $30,
                                                                $35, $40 and $50 increments.
                                                                                                                                  Welfare VP
 Wed          College of Sciences Research Seminar – Dr
 28th         Gabi Schmidt-Adam presents ‘Anything goes
                                                                Reading this? - So are others, Satellite classifieds are a
                                                                                                                                 09 4439750
 July         – Reproductive biology of NZ pohutukawa”.
              Time: 12noon to 1pm, Rm OR5, Bldg 88,
              Oteha Rohe Campus.
                                                                free service provided for students. Email satellite@satel
                                                                lite.ac.nz with your student ID number to place your ad
                                                                                                                              edwelvp@asa.ac.nz
                                                                today. Other interested parties can also place classifieds
 Wed          Chancellor’s Seminar Series:                      at a nominal charge.
 28th
 July
              ‘MEDIA IN THE PACIFIC’.
              Kalafi Moala – publisher of the banned Tongan     Write for Satellite you dirty pirate! - People that write
                                                                                                                             or visit www.asa.ac.nz
              newspaper talks about the struggle and banning
              of the newspaper. Kalafi was the winner of the
                                                                for Satellite are awesome, and by awesome, I mean
                                                                totally sweet. We want your contributions. Get in touch
                                                                                                                                  (look under
              pacific Media Freedom Award. Books will be
              on sale and signed by Kalafi.
                                                                with the editor, Dan. He’s super friendly and promises to
                                                                be nice: satellite@satellite.ac.nz or 09 443 9740. If you
                                                                                                                                    archives.)
              Time: 12 noon to 1pm. Venue: Study Centre
              Staff Lounge, Gate 1, off Albany Expressway.      don’t, robot tigers will maul you!
              To reserve your seat phone 09 4140800 Extn
              9228 or 9554                                      Social scene reporter - Do you want to report on the
                                                                Massey social scene? Satellite is looking for someone to
                                                                                                                                 Need food???
 Thurs        VETERINARY, EQUINE, MEDICAL                       attend the parties here at Massey and write biting, sharp
 29th         LABORATORY               SCIENCES         INFO    critique of the social scene. Kind of like an About Town
 July         EVENING –Study Centre Auditorium,                 for Massey University. Party gossip is fun. satellite@sa            Cash???
                                                                                                                                     s.a.p.s.a.p
              Gate 1, Albany Expressway                         tellite.ac.nz
              Attention all Year 11, 12 & 13 students,
              parents and teachers. If you are interested
                                                                Open deck nights at Evolution Bar. - Open Decks have
              in careers working with animals then this
              information evening is for you! Academic          started, all levels welcome, come and have a spin and
                                                                listen to some smooth house grooves. Contact Josh Clark
                                                                                                                              Not getting student
              staff will tell you all you need to know about
              studying any of the animal sciences including
              the equine studies degree and the veterinary
                                                                josh_on_tour@yahoo.com.au                                        allowance???
              science degree from a NZ university.              Massey University 77th Anniversary cultural
              No need to register – just come along!            performance - We are looking for talent! Singers,
              Contact       Jo     Ramsay      (College
              Sciences) (09) 4140800 extn 9522, email
                                                           of
                                                                models, dancers, MCs. Interested? Please come to
                                                                International Student Support Office, Quad A Building
                                                                                                                               S.A.P is for you!!
              J.Ramsay@massey.ac.nz
                                                                (Ask for James) or phone 414 0800 ext 9528 by Friday
                                                                August 20.

     DIARY DATE: SATURDAY 28TH                                  Sports day
              AUGUST 2004                                       Will include Massey University, Auckland University
  Massey University ‘HOLLYWOOD BALL’                            and AUT students. Sponsored by the Massey University
      (More details in the next column)                         Korean Students’ Association. Saturday 7th August 2004,
                                                                at Massey University Recreation Centre, 9am to 5pm.
                                                                Free admission! Budget meal to be sold at the gym for
                                                                under $5
              e
          Mayn t
                           student news
                        student news                 As many of you already know, I am a            So get out there and get involved. Learn

     Nick residen                                    Christian. I came to believe in Christ not
                                                     because my family did, but because I am
                                                                                                    about as many faiths as you can and make
                                                                                                    up your own mind as to what is true. Another


    Student P                                        forced to acknowledge that history proves
                                                     he lived and died and had extraordinary
                                                     influence over the course of history. I
                                                                                                    event coming up is the opening of the new
                                                                                                    Recreation Centre on Friday July 30. And as
                                                                                                    part of the official ceremonies the campus
For some people                                      came to this conclusion because above all      will be graced with the presence of the Prime
it’s      Christmas,                                 other things I could see that Jesus Christ     Minister. As part of Helen’s welcome the ASA
others           their                               could only be who he said he was; for even     is planning a protest over the Government’s
birthday, but my                                     after his earthly death he still has made an   refusal to introduce a living allowance for
favourite time of the                                influence on my life. Where I should have      all students. After all, why is Helen Clark
year is spirituality                                 developed hate, I found love; where I          opening a building that is being paid for by
week. A celebration                                  should have failed I found hope; where I       an increase in student fees? The real guest of
of everyone’s ability                                should have been lost I found direction;       honour should be you, the students of Massey
to have beliefs as                                   and where I should have believed in            University, who are paying for this building.
to what exists and how everything came into          self-exalting pagan beliefs I found Christ.    Everyone who is interested in joining in this
existence. A chance to debate the answer to the      Confused? Well, my story is too long to        protest should assemble outside the Atrium
oldest question around; what is the meaning of       explain properly here but I will share it      building at 10:30am.
life? A chance to hear what moral values other       with anyone who wants to listen. And by        But if you can’t make it, you should go to the
people hold and how that shapes their actions. A     listening to the story I have to tell, and     Revolt Website (www.revolt.ac.nz) and send
chance for every individual to seek out the truth;   the stories of everyone else who chooses       her a letter to let her know what you think.
after all is that not what university study is all   to participate in spirituality week, I hope
about, the pursuit of absolute truth?                you find truth.

                                         www.asa.ac.nz/forum
                                                     reports are approved it will be posted on
                               ani                                                                  tempting enough there will be free sausages

                     eta  Bhavn P                    to our website, however if you would like      after the meeting. If you want something on

                Ranje stration V
                                                     a specific report emailed out to you, feel     the AGM agenda, email it to me and we will
                                                     free to contact me at avp@asa.ac.nz.           make sure your voice is heard. And do this
                        i
                Admin                                August 18 is the Annual General Meeting
                                                                                                    quickly; the last date for taking in entries is
                                                                                                    this week (July 26 –August
                                                     (AGM). Pencil it into your diaries; this is
Hi Massey,                                           an important day when you get to see what      2).Speaking of what ASA has done for
Don’t get too buried into assignments and tests,     we are spending the money, that you pay        students, we now have an added service from
remember the bar is still open for you to come       us, on. We will be ratifying the budget for    the AT 1.27 office. Now prepaid Vodafone
hang out every Thursday night. The executive         2005 and making a few changes to the           vouchers can be bought from the AT 1.27
are now involved in writing reports on what          constitution. This is your time to come and    office in the Atrium building level 1. That’s
they have been doing in semester one and what        find out what your students association        all for now, take care and be good.
they plan to do in semester two. After these         has been doing for you, and if that is not

                   Clubs’ Grants
                   Second Round
                   Deadline: Friday 30 July 2004
                   Those clubs and societies affiliated to ASA are encouraged to complete applications
                   for the second Clubs’ Grant funding round. Copies of the application form are available
                   through the ASA Information Office in the Atrium or at the Recreation Centre. These
                   must be completed and handed in with all necessary supporting documentation to the
                   Information Office in order to qualify.

                   For more information, please contact either of the ASA Co-Recreation and
                   Leisure Representatives, Kristyn Symons or Jo Osei-Annor c/o 441-8121 or
                   www.asa.ac.nz                                                         16
     NZUSA CONFERENCE                              6.  That NZUSA conduct a standalone               womens’ section of any publication
Motions put forward at NZUSA July                      workshop on governance within                 produced in coordination with the
conference. All motions passed excepting               student associations at January               NZUSA 75th celebrations.
motion 15, which was put forward from                  Conference in 2005.                     13.   That a Mana Wahine element should
Fedex (student Presidents’ organisation)           7. That NZUSAS accept the South                   be included in the NZUSA 75th
                                                       Pacific seat on the Asian Students’           celebrations.
    1.   That NZUSA provide Vice                       Association Executive Council.          14.   That NZUSA set up a Pasifika
         Presidents’ training at a time to         8. That       NZUSA       review      its         working party to look at
         be determined by the Federation               environmental policy taking into              representation and support and other
         Executive.                                    account sustainable practices and             issues for Pasifika students.
    2.   That NZUSA conduct training on                that this is then used as a basis       15.   That NZUSA actively shows its
         Te Tiriti o Waitangi at January               to develop a set of guidelines for            support of polytechnic and college
         Conference 2005.                              student associations who wish to              of education student associations
    3.   That NZUSA collate research about             lobby their institutions regarding            by initiating proceedings to change
         retention rates, grandparenting, fee          their environmental practices.                the name of NZUSA to reflect this
         capping for international students        9. That NZUSA supports the Civil                  and present a background paper that
         at NZUSA member associations                  Union Bill currently before                   encompasses feedback received at
         for presentation to the International         Parliament.                                   September conference.
         Student Conference.                       10. That NZUSA write a submission           16.   That NZUSA hold a teacher
    4.   That NZUSA gather information                 to the Parliamentary Justice and              education student representatives
         about insurance charges on                    Electoral Select Committee in                 meeting before August 1.
         international students at NZUSA               support of the Civil Union Bill         17.   That NZUSA lobby with relevant
         member associations.                          and     Relationships     (Statutory          groups for a centre of research
    5.   That NZUSA Federation Office draft            References) Bill.                             excellence in teaching and learning.
         a campaign strategy for the living        11. That NZUSA create a national            18.   That NZUSA reimburse the travel
         allowance for all students campaign           website or a page off the NZUSA               of Emily Gesner who attended the
         for presentation at September                 website as a resource for Queer               queer collaborations conference in
         Conference after consultation with            students nationally.                          Australia to a maximum of $1500
         member associations.                      12. That NZUSA ensures that there is a            (from Fedex).

                                                 www.revolt.ac.nz
    Clubs on Campus
MAPISA - (Massey Albany Pacific Island
                                                         Nominations open for the position of
Students’ Assn) - bull_n_gate@hotmail.com

girlssoccer101 - adele_adamson@hotmail.com
                                                           EDUCATION AND WELFARE
Massey Uni. Badminton Club
williamchong@hotmail.com                                       VICE PRESIDENT
Massey Meat Club
masseymeatclub@hotmail.com
                                                          From 9am Monday 26th July 2004
Te Roopu Kapa Haka o Oteha
Rachel.Snowden.1@uni.massey.ac.nz                        and close 5pm Friday 30th July 2004
Fight Club - natty@paradise.net.nz

Student Life - yohan.ahn@studentlife.co.nz
                                                           IF YOU ARE INTERESTED IN
Alpine Adventure club
natty@paradise.net.nz
                                                         STANDING FOR THIS POSITION,
Korean Students Association                                 NOMINATION FORMS AND
seula83@hotmail.com
                                                        ADDITIONAL INFORMATION ARE
MICF - (Massey International Christian
Fellowship) - popedickthe1st@yahoo.co.nz                    AVAILABLE FROM THE ASA
MADSODS                                                  ATRIUM INFORMATION OFFICE.
 (Massey @ Albany Drama, Singing,
Operatic and Dance Society) -
secretary@madsods.gen.nz                                                                                                            17
           bar
evolution july 15, 04
  eight-48may-redmore-hometownadvantage




                                                                                       had the crowd singing along, It’s an
                                                                                       atmospheric set, with keys providing a
                                                                                       real depth to their sound. Off the back
                                                                                       of a South Island tour, Bruce Conlon
                                           With another one of those flash videos      was obviously fighting to hold on to
                                           on the telly and a endless quiver of        his voice. It’s something of a letdown
                                           catchy tunes, 48May are a perfect fit for   to hear a superb singer at less than his
                                           a drunken crowd. The bar has picked         best but his post-grunge pipes hold up
Reviewer: Dan Trevarthen
                                           up and the night has really begun.          well enough for the occasion. Not as
                                           Sharp banter (it was actually funny)        immediate as 48May, the response is
It’s hard being an opening act. It’s
                                           in between songs and an amusing             perhaps more subdued. But Eight have
probably even harder being an opening
                                           break for their bassist to go spew, kept    always been slowburners and it’s hard
act at Massey Albany. By the time
                                           the folks thoroughly entertained. The       to not be affected by the passion and
Hometown Advantage hopped on
                                           vocal harmonies and musicianship is         talent of these musicians.
stage, along with a flash corresponding
                                           tight. Music television and radio hit
banner, Evolution Bar was still looking
                                           Fightback gets an enthusiastic response,
as lively as roadkill. Their tunes
                                           as do their skips into 80s metal guitar
were cheery enough to brighten the
                                           interludes and choreography. As with
atmosphere, but weren’t helped by trite
                                           Elemenop, it’s the tongue in cheek that
lyrics. Think early, early Blink 182 and
                                           makes this work, making 48May stand
you’ve got these guys in a box. They
                                           out from the pack of pop-punk acts in
were tighter than their last show at
                                           this country.
Massey, but still nothing too flash.
                                           Eight opened their set with their hit
Redmore played an impressive set.
                                           No Way to Decide, which quickly
Their vocalist has a nice set of pipes,
which are surprisingly reminiscent of
Maynard James Keenan. Indeed, the
music of A Perfect Circle certainly
comes to mind. It’s not a horribly
original sound, but they do this stuff
exceptionally well. The crowd seemed
impressed, but a little stage presence
and image wouldn’t have gone amiss.
At least they have the music side down
pat.
            satellite reviews
           satellite reviews
Harry Potter and the                          of the skeletal flying Dementors who ward
                                              the prison and follow the trail straight to
                                                                                                  Reviewer: Ranjeeta Bhavnani

Prisoner of Azkaban                           Hogwarts.                                                            Rating: 4/5

                                              The mood is cold, dark with a concentration         Bollywood has no longer been restricted to
Starring: Daniel Radcliffe, Rupert                                                                “safe” movies with the cast only running
                                              more of the darker side of magic and the
Grint, Emma Watson, Gary Oldman,                                                                  around trees singing and dancing. Bold
                                              effect on Harry (who has aged dramatically
David Thewlis, Michael Gambon,                                                                    movies such as Masti have changed Indian
                                              since the first flick). For those aficionados of
Robbie Coltrane, Emma Thompson,                                                                   society’s taste in movies. In a nutshell,
                                              the books, there are a series of sly moments
Alan Rickman, and Maggie                                          of foreshadowing and            Indra Kumar’s Masti is a delightful and
Smith.                                                            loose ends that are yet         witty farce on the subject of sex. It’s not the
Director: Alfonso Cuaron                                          to be resolved in future        most incisive, clever or charming comedy,
                                                                  instalments. Besides the        but it does most things well and provides
Reviewer: Alastair Radley                                         mainstays of the series         value for money in those three hours.
                                                                  to date, there are the
                                                                  usual set pieces – the          Masti is a story about 3 close friends,
The        cross-generational
                                                                  Dursleys, the Hogwarts          who’ve had their share of fun when in
appeal of A.K. Rowland’s
                                                                  train journey, Quidditch        college. But when married, they discover
books means that many
                                                                  match,       confrontations     the hell behind the heaven, the bickering
adults (me included) will
                                                                  with Professor Snape and        behind the bliss and the agony behind
be quietly slipping in to see
                                                                  increasingly       irrelevant   the ecstasy. Frustrated with their marital
this, the third and darkest
                                                                  Draco Malfoy. There are         experiences, the trio gear up to do some
instalment in the movie
                                                                  the inevitable cameos           masti (fun) and decide that the only way
franchise so far. Director of
                                                                  from the British school         to spice up their lives is to seek excitement
the previous two outings,




                                                                   es
                                                                  of acting – Sir Michael         outside home. And then to meet and
Christopher        Columbus
                                              Gambon tries on the large shoes of the              exchange notes. They embark on their




                                                                 vi
is replaced by Alfonso Cuaron (of ‘Y
Tu Mama Tambien’, ‘Little Princess’,          late Sir Richard Harris, the new Defence            wacky and hilarious adventure where they
                                                                                                  search for forbidden fun, but before they




                                                                o
and ‘Great Expectations’ fame) and the        Against the Dark Arts Professor Lupin is
look and tone of the movie seems more         played by David Thewlis (who replaces               could taste the delicious fruit of bigamy;




                                                               m
interpretive of Rowland’s book than a         Kenneth Branagh’s Professor Lockhart),              their adventure comes to a screeching halt.
slavish and overlong sycophantic retelling.   Robert Hardy is the Minister of Magic,              A twist in the tale brings them face-to-face
Having said that; some exposition should      Emma Thompson plays the kooky Sybill                with Sikander, a cop. What could be worse
have been worked in for those not up to       Trelawney, and Gary Oldman plays Sirius             - a cop suspecting their involvement in a
speed and this detracts from the ability of   Black.                                              crime or the danger of being exposed in
the movie to stand on its own.                                                                    front of their unsuspecting wives?
                                              All and all a tighter script would have
                                              meant more fun for all, the look and feel           The escapades of the three protagonists
Those who have seen the previous
                                              were good and the length was thankfully             are hilarious and to keep the humour
movies are now well aware of Harry’s
                                              shorter than the first couple but you were          going, a track similar to `Kantaben’ [Kal
poor relationship with his foster parents,
                                              left with the nagging feeling that, in the          Ho Naa Ho] has also been woven in the
his desire to spend more and more time
                                              same way the Dementors suck any feeling             story (Satish Shah is the ‘Kantaben’ here),
away at Hogwarts School of Magic and
                                              of happiness from their victims, you lost           which is amongst the highlights of this
his deepening friendship with Hermione
                                              a little more than you gained through the           laughathon.
Granger and Ron Weasley, so Cuaron
has decided against the need to provide       watching. 6.5 out of 10 – one mainly for the
much in the way of expositional context       kids and Potter fans.
or explain the intricacies of the magical
world that lies secret alongside that of
our Muggle own. This allows the script        Masti
to propel us along into the dark mystery
                                              Director: Indra Kumar
of Harry’s parent’s death and the betrayal
by and subsequent imprisonment of Sirius      Staring: Vivek Oberoi, Ritesh Deshmukh,
Black in the wizard’s prison Azkaban.                                                             Anand Raaj Anand’s music is like icing on
                                              Aftab Shivdasani, Ajay Devgan, Lara                 the cake. Ek Kunwara, Chori Chori and
Sirius has escaped and as a disciple of       Dutta, Genelia, Amrita Rao, Tara
“You Know Who” is out to find and kill                                                            Chain Khuli Ki are foot-tapping and come
                                              Sharma, Satish Shah and Archana                     at the right point. However, Dil De Diya
young Harry as revenge for the tortures       Puransingh                                          Hai (excellently rendered by Anand Raaj
          satellite reviews
        satellite reviews
Anand himself) should be trimmed since it
acts as a speed breaker in the pre-climax
                                                 Shade                                           a Mexican kid named Jesus, shoots up the
                                                                                                 school one day before turning the gun
                                                 Neil Jordan
stages.                                                                                          on himself. In a
                                                 Reviewer: CJ Clarke
                                                                                                 town left without
Although the post-interval portions have                                                         a scapegoat for
their share of funny and entertaining            Jordan has written about the wild
                                                                                                 the crime, Vernon
moments, the pace is erratic in this half.       imaginations of youth and the aged, the
                                                                                                 Little is swept up
One expects the climax to perk up the            torture of mental frailties and unspoken
                                                                                                 in a media storm.
proceedings, but the finale lets you down        ghosts. Perhaps imaginings most of us
                                                                                                 Like a modern
to an extent. The suspense/mystery factor        have, but remain locked in our tortured
                                                                                                 day        Holden
goes out of the window the moment the            minds for fear of being thought of as
                                                                                                 Caulfield, Little
mystery is solved. A better culmination          senile ourselves. He is able to portray the
                                                                                                 finds      himself
was the need of the hour, not the formula-       rites of passage between the child and the
                                                                                                 bewildered by the
ridden end that you get to watch! On the         adult seen through the eyes of a trapped
                                                                                                 banality of people
whole, Masti has all it takes to appeal to the   spirit, sharing the unpredictable, the
                                                                                                 surrounding him.
cinemagoers – a star cast, popular music,        unfathomable and the strange reality of the
                                                                                                 But the characters here, with Little to a
dollops of comedy and most importantly,          four lives entwined.
                                                                                                 lesser extent, are full-blown caricatures.
sex - not in visuals, but in dialogues and                                                       There’s a backstabbing yet charming
gestures. All these factors combined             Strange but enthralling, the non-couple
                                                                                                 journalist, and his Mum - perhaps a
together will prove advantageous for the         are left behind to fill in the pieces of the
                                                                                                 kindred spirit to South Park’s Mrs Cartman
film and should take it to the winning post.     puzzle, putting their separate lives together
                                                                                                 - is needy white trash looking to shack
                                                 to complete the picture, all the while been
                                                                                                 up. Her circle of friends are no better. But
                                                 observed by the spirit of Nina, who cannot
                                                                                                 through stereotypes and wry humour, DBC
Boy Kills man                                    rest until the tale is told.
                                                                                                 Pierre is able to relate a tellingly accurate
Author: Matt Whyman                                                                              account of a life turned upside down by




                       literature
Reviewer: Joshua Clark                           Jordan’s skill with words and mesmerizing
                                                                                                 media coverage.
                                                 narrative takes you on a journey of
                                                 reflection that is without the hindrance of
This gritty drama unfolds on the dusty                                                           Little is the smartest character
                                                 a timeline. A ghost, who sees the child, as
streets of Medellin in Colombia. Two young                                                       here, although his pearls of wisdom are
                                                 clearly as the same old woman, and speaks
boys choose a way of life that provides                                                          constantly akin to Murphy’s Law. But
                                                 of her life of innocence torn apart by
them with money in town where jobs and                                                           he’s hamstrung by doubt and an irrational
                                                 circumstance of incest, lust and murder.
opportunities are hard to come by. The two                                                       fear of embarrassment. The irrationality of
young characters Sonny and Alberto are                                                           these characters makes this book wickedly
                                                 The author has managed to cross the
best friends who become involved in the                                                          amusing. Although this is a fantastic
                                                 boundaries of ageism with childlike
local mafia by doing jobs. Firstly running                                                       story, the plot comes a close second to
                                                 freshness yet also allows the reader
cigarettes, then other stolen goods and then                                                     the raw voice of the book. It’s vital and
                                                 a glimpse of the same more mature
progressing on to professional hits for the                                                      challenging, Pierre experiments with
                                                 characters. Their lives, loves, and dreams
local underworld boss. The story focuses                                                         misspelling of words to convey language
                                                 are shattered forever yet they still hold
on their relationships with each other and                                                       and the reading is better for it. Ultimately,
                                                 together by the translucent thread of love,
their families as they are plunged head                                                          this book is driven by Vernon Little, who
                                                 friendship and fear that watches them from
first in a life of murder, drugs and money,                                                      will annoy the heck out of some people,
                                                 the shadows, hiding in the Shade.
ending in a climax that is nothing short of                                                      but endear himself to many more. Either
sensational. This book paints a very sad                                                         way, Vernon God Little is a must-read.
and real picture of life for young children
on the street on of many towns and cities in
South America. It looks at the hard choices      Vernon God Little                               Singing Bird
faced by these boys and the enormity of the      Author: DBC Pierre
                                                                                                 Author: Roisin McAuley
tasks they are asked to complete. This book      Reviewer: Dan Trevarthen
                                                                                                 Reviewer: Tina Trousselot.
has a City of God feel to it. Even though the
story is fiction, the author makes a note that                   Rating: 5/5                     This book is about as thrilling as the title. I
the story is based on actual events. I found                                                     would only recommend it to granny’s with
it to be an excellent if not disturbing read.    Vernon God Little is a totally awesome          a whole lot of time on their hands. Singing
                                                 story about the media, stupid people and a      Bird is drab, drawn out and lacking
                                                 crazy world that keeps getting crazier for a                         about two 22
                                                                                                 excitement. Mostly continued pg old ladies
                                                 smartass kid. Vernon is 15, his best friend,                                             21
          satellite reviews
        satellite reviews
drinking their way around Ireland.             The Deadline opened the show, and for
                                               those that witnessed them for the first
                                                                                                B-Real relates that this girl doesn’t
                                                                                                want “an immature nigga on a pussy-hit
Lena Molley adopted when she was unable        time, see them again next time they are          mission” like this doesn’t describe him. We
to have children, so now she’s searching for   in town. They have a remarkable sound,           realise he’s delusional when the narrative
her daughters, and subsequently, her own       but they didn’t do themselves justice this       ends with the couple’s friends catching
biological parents. Set mostly in Ireland,     time. Kill Me Quickly played next and I          them “bangin’ in the back of the Benz”.
although, the landscape, culture, and          was not disappointed. I’m definitely seeing      Please, he doesn’t even take her home,
attractions are barely mentioned. Singing      Kill Me Quickly again. Like always, Evil         what a dick. The lame chorus is proof that a
Bird is more focussed on relationships.        Priest played straight-up hardcore. This         long time in the rap scene and a distinctive
                                               band never lets the crowd down, their sets       vocal style haven’t necessarily evolved B-
The only point of interest in this story is    always guarantee a good time - hardcore          Real into much of a wordsmith.
two of the minor characters. This consists     style. Easily one of the best shows I’ve         However, the song does indicate where the
of a pyromaniac opera singer, and a            been to this year. If you missed it (stupid),    future may lie for this group. Banal lyrics
corrupt priest. Lena’s adopted daughter is     buy the album.                                   aside, it has a Clash feel. It’s musically
a talented opera singer, and shows briefly                                                      addictive, and ironically, it doesn’t sound
the drama of stage life, and the scandals                                                       as dated. The group sounds like they could
faced when famous. Similarly, there are
many excerpts from songs throughout the
                                               Cypress Hill                                     take a tip from Tim Armstrong’s (who
                                                                                                guests on this song) punk/hip-hop mutt
novel, which becomes a bit too sing-along,     Till Death Do Us Part                            group The Transplants, as an example of
and very aggravating.                                                                           how to do this kind of dynamic in a modern
                                               Sony Music                                       style. The Latin ghetto trash production of
Not too much to report on this book I’m        Reviewer: Dan Trevarthen                         Latin Thugs is another track that manages
afraid. What should have been a short                                                           to sound relatively up-to-date, if not a little
story has been padded out to be a 300-                          Rating: 2/5                     one-dimensional.
page novel.
                                               This should sell a few units amongst those       Overall, this remains a mediocre effort.
                                               feeling a little nostalgic about this brand of   The group splice their raps with touches of
                                               rock-tinged rap. They’ve already had a hit
Stronger Than Hate                             off this record in the form of What’s Your
                                                                                                rock, dub and ska, but they’re by no means
                                                                                                masters of the crossover on this record.
w/ Evil Priest, Kill Me Quickly, The           Number? But this song is one of the worst-       Cypress Hill haven’t changed much,
Deadline                                       written singles ever.                            there’s still the weed anthem in the form
Kings Arms Tavern, July 10                                                                                          of Ganja Fix. There’s
Reviewer: Angelina van Driel                                                                                        also a mid-album
                                                                                                                    track called Bong
Stronger Than Hate play brutal hardcore.                                                                            Hit, an instrumental
And they play it undoubtedly well. Even                                                                             with bong sounds in
the most fickle hardcore kid should have                                                                            the background. The
walked away from this show impressed by                                                                             track may have been
the musical display of aggressive power                                                                             placed on the album
from the band.                                                                                                      to allow some of their
                                                                                                                    target market to sit
If I was expecting a less impressive sound                                                                          back and take a hit.
from Stronger Than Hate than from say,                                                                              Unfortunately, those
a United States band, these expectations                                                                            that do so are the only
were quickly dismissed. This band from                                                                              people who are going
Sydney are awesome. Vocalist Grahame                                                                                to be getting much of
Rowe sounds outstanding on the album                                                                                a decent buzz from this
and even better live. His first scream blew
                                                                                                                    record.




                                                                                music
me away, and he continued the onslaught
throughout the entire set. With killer
breakdowns and intense riffs, this band is
a brutal force to be reckoned with.The only
aspect of this show which appeared lacking     “What’s your name, what’s your number, I
was the anticipation. Was I the only person    would like to get to know ya, can we have
insanely excited about seeing this band?       a conversaaaation, the night is young, girl,
                                               give me a chance”                                                                         22
 letters to to editoreditor
letters
   LETTER OF
            the the
                                          Campus Coffee Sucks
                                                                                         WINnext issueWIN

   THE ISSUE                              Hey Dan
                                          Is it just me, or does the coffee in
                                                                                        Satellite has a $25 KIT KAT gift
Hey Dan                                                                                 hamper to give away courtesy of
                                          the café suck ass? I travel here from         NESTLÉ.
Just thought I’d drop you a line to say   Auckland, so I’m used to drinking
well done on producing a good read.       decent coffee. Instead, it’s stupid, hick
You seem to be doing the bulk of the      Albany town crap grind. A little culture
                                                                                        All you have to do is write a letter
articles which is impressive...           on campus please. This place is so            to the editor. The editor’s choice
                                          backwoods. I can’t wait to finish study       will take away the prize.
I must say this whole religious debate    so I can hang out in the city and be an
thing is getting a bit tiresome. Can’t    art-wank kid. Thanks,                         For those who don’t win a prize pack,
people learn to ignore what they don’t    Café culture kid                              keep an eye out for KIT KASH bars
like to hear? When someone loses an                                                     in stores now. Hidden inside some of
audience then they will tend to shut      The coffee over at Oteha Rohe is ok,          the specially marked bars are $20,
up pretty quickly... A suggestion for     or maybe that’s the one you mean. I           $50 and $100 notes. Be part of the
the magazine... It would be cool if       don’t think the coffee on the other           excitement and get your KIT KASH
you could put in a random poll of         side is as nice - Dan                         bar today.
students on stuff each issue. The first
one could be on the number of single                                                      Nestle - Kit Kat Prize Pack
women on campus, as there seems to        ‘Debate’ fine specimen
be none....
Oh and you should review the              Satellite would like to mention, in
Libertines album “up the bracket”         response to the last “letter of the issue”,
they’re cool…                             which referred to AUT’s Debate
Finally (I’m sure you’ve noticed by       Magazine as “stupid Debate”, that
now) The FBI badge on the last issue      Debate Magazine is a fine publication.
is not straight.... School boy error in   Their editor is also super hot, if not
my opinion.                               slightly touchy.
                                          Dan
Cheers,
Crafty Badger                             Praise for Satellite                              Have your say, email
                                                                                           satellite@satellite.ac.nz
It’s not supposed to be straight.         To Dan,
We’re going for that whole slightly       Well done on the first half of the year. It
skewed look. It’s so hot right now.       was good to see a variety of subjects              Also don’t forget the ASA
Thanks for the praise, and you like       covered with independence from the                forum. The current topics
the Libertines, so we know you            university. That is what a true student             regarding satellite are:
have some kind of taste. Maybe            magazine should be. I particularly like
there is a lack of single women           the introduction of colour and the vox
                                                                                          Disappointed Atheist strikes again as
here… I smell a thesis. Or maybe          pops.                                                    Rev Species 116
they just don’t want to talk to us.       Courtney Bland
                                                                                                Coming out of her shell
Screw them.                                                                                  - Who doesn’t agree with Rev.
                                            Please collect any prizes from:
                                                    Satellite Office                            Satellite Design / Layout
  Congratulations, you have                                                                            Carpooling
                                                  Building 90, Gate 5                       Discussion of letters to the editor
  won yourself - A million                            Old Campus
  little pieces by James Frey                     or ph. 09 4439740                            www.asa.ac.nz/forum
                                                satellite@satellite.ac.nz                                                     23

				
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