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									Come to Northeast Michigan and Enjoy...

                                                                                   VOL. 5, ISSUE 3 • APRIL 2011
   Editor: I. M. Free                                        www.thegoodlifepress.com                                                            Published by The Good Life Press

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      ALSO AVAILABLE:
                                                                                                                                                                                                                               2007 Silverado, 2500HD, Ext. Cab, 4WD
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                2005 Silverado, Z-71, Red, Crew, 4WD
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                2006 Ford Supercrew, XLT, 4WD, Nice
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                01 Chevy Tracker, 4WD, Clean! $4976
 “BRAND SPANKIN’ USED”                   2008 Chevy Avalanche, Z-71 Off Road Package,                                              2005 Ford F-150, Lariat, 4WD, short box, 6.0
                                          4WD, 2-Tone Premium Heated Leather, Power     2003 Chevy Avalanche, Z-66, 5.3 V8, Bed     V8, Leather, memory seating, adjustable       2004 Ford F-150, FX4, Ext. Cab, 4WD, Power         **Bring us your trade-in!!**
 100 Main St, Lincoln 48742                 Sunroof, Bose Sterio, Towing, 29k Miles!     Liner, Power Seat, Dark Cloth Interior,   pedals, Running Boards, Bed Liner, Towing         Seat, Cloth Interior, Bed Liner, Towing
                                                                                                                                                                                          Package, 74K Miles, $21,976          WE ‘”BUY” CARS, SUV’S & TRUCKS!!!
       (989) 736-7600                           Factory Warr Remains! $29,976             Towing Package, 80K Miles, $13,476              Package, 90K Miles, $15,976

  This one happened few years ago                                                                                                                                             At Sunday School they were teaching about
  in Switzerland: A man went to a                                                                                                                                           Adam and Eve. Little Johnny seemed especially
  photo shop, had pictures taken,                                                                                                                                             interested when they told him how Eve was
    and - while the photographer                                                                                                                                                    created out of one of Adam’s ribs.
  developed the pictures - he took                                                                                                                                          Later in the week his mother noticed him lying
     off with the cash register.                                                                                                                                            down as though he were ill, and said, “Johnny
                                                                                                                                                                                    what is the matter?”
                                                                                                                                                                            Little Johnny responded, “I have a
                                Leaving behind, of
                                                                                                                                                                           pain in my side. I think I’m going to
                              course, the pictures of
                                                                                                                                                                                        have a wife.”

                                                                                                                                                                 “The Best of Northern Michigan”
                                                                                                                                                         Alpena • Mio (989) 354-2175                                                          Find Us on

       find coupons and money-saving offers from our advertisers inside!
                                                                                                        A fine is a tax for
 The New Way of Buying & Selling Homes                                                                 doing wrong. A tax
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                         1/2 OFF
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                     APPETIZERS AND
                       New – But old as time itself!                                                    is a fine for doing                                                                                                          DRINK SPECIALS
   Iosco & Alcona
 County – Find Out
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                                                                                                                                                                                                                                         All Week:
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 Is Worth For FREE!                   Consultant                                                                                                                  1626 E. Huron Road, East Tawas, MI 48730                                Beer
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 See Me on Page 23 for
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                                               335 S. State St.
   More Information!                          Oscoda, MI. 48750                                                                                                 See our ad on page 14 for more info                                      $1.75

                                                                                                       Selling Your Items for
                                                                                                      the Best Possible Price!
                                                                                                          Estate Sales • Appraisals
                                                                                                                                                               BODY LANGUAGE SPA
                                                                                                                                                              “The Art of Anti-aging”
                                                                                                              Homes • Farms                                     ION MAGNUM AND PERFECTOR
      Fiberglass Repair • Gel Coating                                                                      Antiques & Collectibles                               With the Ion Magnum, lose up to 3
                                                                                                                                                               inches or more on the first treatments
Boats • Jet Skis • RV’s • Anything Fiberglass                                                              Business Liquidations
                                                                                                                                                                  at the waistline and build muscle
                                                                                                         Sportsman’s Consignments
    Insurance Work Welcome –                                                                                  Online Auctions                                   “PERFECTOR” - NANO FACIAL REJUVENATION:
    Get a Prompt Quality Repair                                                                              Free Consultations                                  Sculpts the face and lifts the neck, lifts jowls and eyebrows,
& Save Part or All of Your Deductible                                                                                                                                   reduces and eliminates fine lines and wrinkles
30 YEARS SAME LOCATION                                                                                 Call Now to Consign
                                                                                                       Your Estate or Items                                    MASSAGES 989-305-6333 • 989-245-5112
                                                                                                                                                                           1175 W. Lake St., Tawas City
989-362-8571                                             Ask for Jim                                            989-727-0011
                                                                                                                                                               AVAILABLE www.bodylanguagespatawas.com

                                                                                                           Toll Free 866-305-6799
                                                                                                         612 S. Ripley Blvd., Alpena

      PLUS WE’RE THE ONLY FAMILY PRACTICE IN                                                          A tom cat and a tabby cat were
   RELAXING GAS, AND BOTH ORAL AND I.V. CONSCIOUS                                                    courting on a back fence at night.
                                                                                                    The tom leaned over to the tabby
                                                                                                    with pent up passion and purred…
                                   (989) 362-6186                                                           “I’ll die for you!”
                  508 M-55 (next to the Hospital) • Tawas City, MI 48763

                                                                                                                                                                See Page 43 for a Special Coupon!
                  Visit us at www.DrThomasADawson.com                                                  The tabby gazed at him from
                                                                                                     under lowered eye lids and asked,
                    See our ad on page 27 for more info                                                    “How many times?”
2 • The Good Life - april 2011                                                                     thank your advertisers, they supply you with the good life!

                                                                        COMMUNITY EVENTS
  PRNDL Transmission Service                                             GRAND OPENING
                                                                       MELVIN MOTORCYCLE
                                                                                                                         “COMMUNITY CARE”
                                                                                                                        CAMPAIGN OIL CHANGE
                                                                            MUSEUM                                                                                       MEETING
      and Auto Repair                                                  June 10th -11th-and 12th, 2011 In
                                                                        Oscoda on the former Wurtsmith
                                                                                                                         BENEFIT FOR HURON
                                                                                                                          HUMANE SOCIETY                           Monday April 18th at 7:00 PM
                                                                                                                                                                   at Ky Cuylers Restaurant (262
                                                                                                                        April 10, 2011, Noon-4:30pm (or while
                                                                       Air Force Base. 3950 Arrow Drive.                supplies last) at Muffler Man of Alpena     South US 23, Harrisville). Our
 4521 E. County Line Rd.                                40 S. M-65     Free bikes will be given away - win                                                         monthly meetings are open to
                                                                                                                         at 11th & Chisholm. $16.95 minimum
 Hale, MI 48739                              Whittemore, MI 48770      a Puma scooter or a Honda CRF!                  donation for oil change. All proceeds go             the public.
 989-257-2005                              989-756-2029 & 2039           Guided motorcycle rides, stunt                     to HURON HUMANE SOCIETY.
                                                                       show, parade, precision Goldwing
                                                                          drill team, swap meet, music                                                             AMERICAN CANCER
                                                                      ,antique bike shows, food and a fun                                                          SOCIETY CONCERT
                                                                                                                          THE OSCODA-AUSABLE                          FOR A CURE
                                                                                                                         CHAMBER OF COMMERCE                         April 9th, 2011 , 7:30PM, at
                                                                                                                       3RD ANNUAL BUSINESS EXPO                    Alpena High School Auditorium
                     Premier re rement                                                                                 April 30th, 2011. For more information            E-Mail: sroznowski@
    Only 23           community with                                    CUE FOR A CURE 2011                              call the chamber at 989.739.7322                 alpenaagency.com
                                                                          All proceeds will go to support patients                                                 Charity concert to raise money
  suites left!      condo prices star ng                                from our own area who are affected by a                                                   for the American Cancer Society.
                        at $49,000                                    neuromuscular disease. Players earn prizes        18th ANNUAL GOURMET                        All local musicians who donate
                                                                         and there are drawings and auctions for               DELIGHTS                                        their time.
       1-800-386-7133              www.oscodaseniorliving.com         everyone to join in! All are welcome for a day          Brought to you by Quota
                                                                        of entertainment, fun and food! If you are         International of Iosco County.
                 5951 N. Skeel Ave. Oscoda , MI 48750                  not a pool shooter, just come out for a fun      Sunday May 1, 2011, 11:00a.m. –            5TH BIG GAME
                                                                                        afternoon!                     2:00p.m. at East Tawas Community                BANQUET
                                                                                  PLAYOFFS:                             Center on Newman Street. Adults       Brought to you by The Alpena
                                                                         Saturday, April 2nd at the Glennie             $12.00, Children (5-10 yrs) $5.00, Chapter of the Rocky Mountain
                                                                        Tavern at 11:00 AM where all of the
                                                                                                                           Children 4 and Under FREE.       Elk Foundation. April 23rd, 2011,

 the good life                                                        Winners, Runners Up, Top Fund Raisers
                                                                       and Totals Raised will be announced!
                                                                                                                       Tickets available at: Alley Cuts and at the River’s Edge Golf Course,
                                                                                                                       Village Chocolatier. Proceeds go to 6373 Werth Rd, Alpena. There
                                                                                                                         support Quota’s local programs:     will be fun for all. With live and
                                                                      Tawas Masonic Lodge No. 274 with                   Hearing & Speech, Community          silent auction, games, raffles,
                      Is Coming to the                                Quota International of Iosco County              Service & Disadvantaged Families        lots of guns, a great dinner,
                                                                              FISH OR CHICKEN                                                                 beer,coffee, pop provided. For
                  Escanaba &                                                       DINNER
                                                                        Friday, April 15, 2011, 4 pm – 7 pm                  EAST SHORE ART
                                                                                                                                                             info, contact Al Hess, 989-354-
                                                                                                                                                            8977 or alberthess@yahoo.com
                                                                       Tawas Masonic Lodge, M-55, Tawas                 GUILD INC. & GALLERY
                 Iron Mountain                                               City. Proceeds to benefit:
                                                                          Masonic Lodge - Scholarships
                                                                                                                         April 12th, 2011 at Noon. General           20TH ANNUAL
  Area Communities of Michigan’s                                            Quota- Hearing and Speech                   Member Meeting at 1:00 p.m. with          WOODCARVING SHOW
                                                                                Community Service                      guest speaker, Carol Lepard. No Cost             & SALE
                                                                             Disadvantaged Families                                                                Saturday May 7, 2011, 10AM-
        South Central UP                                              $8.50 , Save $.50 each before April 15
                                                                                                                         to attend and everyone is always
                                                                                                                        welcome. For more info, call Bernie        5PM and Sunday May 8, 2011
                                                                            Children 12 & under - $6.00                                                             10AM-4PM Birds, Wildlife,
                                                                        Pre-Sale Tickets available at Alley                 Blaszak at (989) 724-6347.
      Beginning the first of May 2011, we                                                                                                                             Carving Demonstration,
                                                                      Cuts, Village Chocolatier, Quota Club                                                       Carving Tools & Supplies, Soap
   will begin distribution of The Good Life                           Members & Masonic Lodge Members                   AMERICAN RED CROSS                        Carving for children 12 & under.
     featuring local advertising for the UP                                                                                BLOOD DRIVE                            ADMISSION $2.00 DONATION
                                                                             ALPENA BLUES                                 Ongoing dates throughout                 12 & OVER. DOOR PRIZES/
                 communities.                                                  FESTIVAL                                        northeast Michigan.                 RAFFLES NEW LOCATION
                                                                       June 24 and 25, 2011 at Alpena                   Call 1-800-RED-CROSS (733-2767)           OSCODA HIGH SCHOOL-3550
     If you would like your business to be                                County Fairgrounds. Visit                      or visiti RedCrossBlood.org to             RIVER ROAD OSCODA MI
  featured in the newest, funniest and fastest                          Alpenablues.com for details.                           make an appointment.                       (989)362-7982
  growing publication in the area, contact us
                                                                                Submit Your Group’s Events to The Good Life
                    TODAY!                                                    Community Calendar! See below for contact info...

            Territory management:                                        For More Community Events, Visit Your Local Chambers of Commerce Online:
             Jonathan Conroy                                                www.tawas.com • www.oscoda.com • www.haleyes.org
          Senior Advertising Executive                                      www.alpenacvb.com • www.huronshoreschamber.com
        906-384-6496 or 877-781-5127
              Thomas Conroy                                                 For Placing Advertisement in Oscoda
                                                                                   and The Tawases, Call
                                                                                                                                               For Placing Advertisement in Alpena,
                                                                                                                                                Ossineke and Hubbard Lake, Call

            Advertising Executive                                           Jeanine Ream                                                         Cindy Marsh
                                                                               Advertising Executive                                             Advertising Executive
                       877-598-4491                                                  Cell: 1-989-820-7182                                              Cell: 1-989-590-2348

                      Chris Rayburn
                                                                      For Placing Advertisement in AuGres, Twining,                         For Placing Advertisement in Alpena, Hillman
                                                                          Whittemore, Sand Lake, Hale, Glennie                                            and Atlanta, Call
                                                                                     & Curran, Call

                   Publisher/Editor-at-large                                  Paula Moody                                                          Jimmy Dean
                                                                               Advertising Executive                                               Advertising Executive
                        989-335-3642                                             Cell: 1-989-335-0355                                               Cell: 1-989-255-1384
                                                                           e-mail: moody0355@yahoo.com                                         e-mail: alpenajimmy@gmail.com

                                                                      Publisher and Editor-at-Large: Chris Rayburn
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 City______________ State___ ZIP_______                                                    to the address above or email.
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                 DON’T MISS A SINGLE JOKE!                                      community calendar for dates in May and early June.
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now find “the good life press” on facebook                                                                                                                    The Good Life - april 2011 • 3

  CALLING ALL RN’S                                                                                                        ALCONA
                                                                     The road by my house was
                                                                    in bad condition. Every day I
              Hospice Angelic Care is GROWING – Come Grow         dodged potholes on the way to

              With Us!! RN Weekend Position: Competitve Salary,    work, so I was relieved to see
              Benefits, Sign on Bonus. RN Case Manager Position:
                  Competitive Salary, Benefits, Sign on Bonus.     a construction crew working on
              Send Resume to 430 W. M-55, Tawas City, MI 48763         the road one morning.

                                                                     Later, on my way home, I
                                                                                                                    “Where You’re Treated Like Family!”
     My mother was away all weekend at a business
                                                                   noticed the men were gone                          If We Don’t Have What You’re Looking For,
   conference. During a break, she decided to call home
                                                                    and no improvement in the                                                 WE’LL FIND IT!
                                                                  road. But where the crew had
 My six-year-old brother picked up the phone and heard a
                                                                   been working stood a new,                                                Downtown Lincoln
                                                                    bright-yellow sign with the                     CHEVY RUNS                                                                           The New Class
stranger’s voice say, “We have a Marcia on the line. Will you          words “Rough Road.”
                                                                                                                       DEEP                          Certified Service                                    of World Class
                    accept the charges?”
                                                                                                                   989-736-8191 • Toll Free 800-736-9911

 Frantic, he dropped the receiver and came running outside                                                             View all of our inventory at
screaming, “Dad! They’ve got Mom! And they want money!”
  Alpena School of Beauty                                             RS
                                                                      STICKE                                       ALL ROADS LEAD TO LINCOLN
        Patricia J. Liske ~ Owner/Administrator                    The gene pool could use a
                                                                         little chlorine.
                                                                                                                                    A Valuable Book
                1036 US-23 N., Alpena • pliske@yahoo.com
                                                                    A flashlight is a case for
                 New Cosmetology Classes                            holding dead batteries.
                                                                                                                   A collector of rare books ran into an acquaintance who
                    Starting Monthly                              Where there’s a will, there’s                     told him he had just thrown away an old Bible that he
                                                                          a vulture.
 NOW OFFERING FLEXIBLE MONTHLY ENROLLMENT OPTIONS.                                                                 found in a dusty, old box. He happened to mention that
                                                                                                                           Guten-somebody- or-other had printed it.
            CALL TODAY - (989) 354-7766                             What the heck is a “free
                                                                   gift?” Aren’t all gifts free?
                                                                                                                                    “Not Gutenberg?” gasped the collector.
                                                                   I am not dealing with you
                                                                     until I’ve had COFFEE.                                                            “Yes, that was it!”
                                                                         Taxation WITH
                                                                   representation isn’t so hot                   “You idiot! You’ve thrown away one of the first books ever
                                                                             either.                             printed. A copy recently sold at auction for half a million
                                                                     Madness takes its toll.
                                                                   Please have exact change.                         “Oh, I don’t think this book would have been worth
           Serving Iosco and                                         When you do a good                             anything close to that much,” replied the man. “It was
       Southern Alcona Counties                                    deed, get a receipt, in case                      scribbled all over in the margins by someone named
                                                                     Heaven is like the IRS.                                             Martin Luther.”

                                                                                     (989) 354-2194                               etown
                          No Appointment Necessary –
                           We Can Hear You Coming!
                                  BRAKES • TUNE-UPS                                  (800) 929-7106                           Hom              REALTY
                             CUSTOM EXHAUST • OIL CHANGE
                                                                                                                            150 E. Chisholm Street at US-23
                               STRUTS • SHOCKS • TIRES                                                                         Alpena, Michigan 49707
                                COMPLETE AUTO CARE
                                                                                                   WEB: www.UCome1st.com
                          Mon.- Fri. 8:00am to 5:00pm • Sat. 9:00am to 2:30pm
                                                                                               E-MAIL: hometownrealty@excite.com
                             1002 W. Chisholm St. • Alpena                                                                          REDUCED                                        Call Barb Skaluba
                                  989-354-3232                                                                                                                                     Office: (989) 354-2194
                                                                                                                                                                                   Home: (989) 595-6997
                            The Shop That Gives Back to the Community
                                                                                    Great starter or retirement home. This 2
 FREE BRAKE INSPECTION - FREE ESTIMATES- FREE BATTERY TEST                          BR, 1 bath house needs some TLC. There
                                                                                    is a guest cabin 18X13 for summer use only
                                                                                                                                    This 2 bedroom, 1 bath modular is
                                                                                                                                    situated on 4 acres. There is a 32X40 pole
                                                                                    because there is no heat or plumbing. There     barn, a 7X 15 screened porch plus a large
   SERVICE RATES STARTING AT:                                                       are 2 out buildings: a 4X6 wood shed and
                                                                                    12X12 storage unit. $46,900 MLS# 269231
                                                                                                                                    deck. $49,900 MLS# 271108

    Premium Oil Change Special $21.00 plus tax
 Brakes $70.00 and up per axle (Pads Only) plus tax                                                                                                                              20 acre parcel with a 2 car garage, well,
                                                                                                                                                                                 septic and electric - home was destroyed
                                                                                                                                                                                 by blaze in March 2009 Frontage: 660
             A/C Recharge $90.00 plus tax                                                                                                                                        on Alfalfa Rd and 1320 on Chabot Rd.
                                                                                                                                                                                 $38,000 MLS# 264993
     Mufflers-Converter Back Starting at $150.00
                                                                                                                               Older Farm house situated on 20.3
  Radiator or Transmission Flush & Fill $70.00 plus tax                                                                        mostly cleared acres with several
                                                                                    House needs some TLC. Open floor plan outbuildings (barn/sheds.) Needs a lot of
   Differential Change $25.00 4x4 $50.00 plus tax                                   with one bedroom on the main level and 3 TLC! $58,900 MLS#271680
                                                                                    bedrooms up. House has 100 amp service/
   Alignment $40.00+tax (2 wheels), $80+tax (4 wheels)                              fuses and garage has 60 amp service/fuses.
                                                                                    $24,900 MLS#271352

    Brake & Power Steering Flush $30.00 plus tax
                 Tire Rotation $20.00                                                                                                                                             Very nice wooded building lot on a quiet
                                                                                                                                                                                  private drive in the Township. Close to the
        Tire Mounting & Balance $10.00 per tire                                                                                                                                   Alpena Mall, high schools, Walmart and
                                                                                                                                                                                  other major shopping facilities. Property
                                                                                                                                    Great location with frontage on Ripley is flat and cleared in front while the rear
  Mufflers Starting at $40.00 with Lifetime Warranty                                 Level 2 acre commercial building site in        Blvd and includes a 66X132 lot on Clinton portion is wooded and uneven. $19,000
                                                                                                                                    Street. Would make a great business location. MLS# 270304
         Computer Diagnostic Service $40.00                                         Rogers City just off US-23, culvert installed
                                                                                    and utilities in the proximity. Tax abated      Building has approximately 1731 sqft on main
                                                                                                                                    level, a full walkout basement, 2 fireplaces

  Honesty & Integrity is Our Shop’s #1 Goal
                                                                                    until 2017 (Real estate, personal property
                                                                                    & business taxes). Seller will consider long    plus much more. $99,900 MLS# 271104
                                                                                    term lease. $59,400 MLS# 264989

  April 10th - Oil Change Fundraiser Benefitting Huron Humane Society
         GIFT CERTIFICATES AVAILABLE                                                                                                                                             Convenience store with a liquor license
                                                                                                                                                                                 and one gas pump servicing land and water
                                                                                                                                                                                 transportation. Store has approx 2,128 sq ft
   Thank You to Our Wonderful Customers...                                                                                                                                       with a 2 fixture bathroom, kitchen, deli area,
                                                                                                                                                                                 walk in cooler, retail area and storage area.

                                                                                                                                    Situated on 19.6 acres is this 2 BR, 1.5
                                                                                    Level commercial lot near the                   bath home with a full basement. Features     Also a home with 1,244 sq ft which has
                                                                                    corner of M-32 and Highland Drive.                                                           2-3 bedrooms, 1.5 baths, livingroom with
                                                                                                                                    Hwd floors plus knotty pine walls, large      fireplace with 154 ft on Grand Lake. Don’t
                                                                                    Culvert installed and utilities in the          screened deck and a 16X100 storage           miss this one. Presently liquor license in
                                                                                    proximity. $68,450 MLS#264990                   building plus a pond. $69,900 MLS# 271117    escrow.. $220,000 MLS# 268257
4 • The Good Life - april 2011                                                             thank your advertisers, they supply you with the good life!

                          April 5th, 2011                                                Authorized TOMS Shoes Supplier
   “One Day Without Shoes”                                                                 the
    “One Day Without Shoes” is an annual event hosted by TOMS Shoes in which
    students, friends, parents, strangers and co-workers host or participate in events
   without shoes. Some go without shoes for an hour, some for the whole day, but all
    become a part of a greater movement toward change. It may be uncomfortable,                  house
   but we’ll help raise awareness of the impact a simple pair of shoes can bring to a
                                        child’s life.
      Did you know most children in developing countries grow up barefoot? Did
      you know some children walk without shoes for miles each day? In Ethiopia,
     approximately 1 million people are suffering from a debilitating disease called            126 South Ripley Blvd. • Alpena, MI 49707
        podoconiosis, which is 100% preventable with basic hygiene and shoes.

                                 On April 5th, Go                                             Walk in Without Shoes
                              Without Shoes So Kids                                      on april 5th and receive 20% off
                                  Don’t Have To!                                                your pair of toms
    A Pair of Shoes Goes to a
   Child in Need for Every Pair                                                             Register for Free Drawing!
                                                                                          A Unique Place to Shop...For Yourself
   of TOMS Shoes Purchased!                                                                   or for That Someone Special
   Hello TOMS Shoe Fan!!!                                                                       Handmade Items from Local Artists
   We would like to invite you to our
                                                                                         Toys, Socks, Plaques & Jewelry Made in America
      Safari Event April 5th                                                                     Home Décor • Jewelry
     Come in without your shoes
     Register for a Pair of TOMS                                                              Candles & Vases • Gift Baskets
    Receive 20% off Your New Pair                                                                Custom Gift Wrapping
        Snacks, Refreshment,
             Conversation                                                                         Open 12 - 6 or By Appointment
    Looking forward to seeing you!
         Sherryl 989-619-9652

                                                                                           A golf pro dragged himself into the clubhouse
                                                                                          looking as though he’d just escaped a tornado.
                                                                                                “What’s wrong?” a woman asked.
                                                                                          “I just lost a game to Houlihan,” the pro said.
                                                                                         “What? But Houlihan’s the worst player I’ve ever
                                                                                             seen. How could he have beaten you?”
                                                                                          “He tricked me,” the pro said. “On the first tee, he asked for
                                                                                          a handicap. I told him he could have 30, 40, 50 strokes- any
                                                                                                              handicap he wanted.
                                                                                                       He said, ‘Just give me two gotchas.”
                                                                                           “What’s a gotcha?” asked the woman. “That’s what I wanted
                                                                                          to know,” the pro said. “Houlihan said, ‘You’ll see.’ Then, as I
                                                                                          was teeing off, just as I had my club poised, he screamed out
                                                                                                 “I can guess what happened,” the woman said.
                                                                                         “Sure,” the pro said. “The scream threw me off, and I missed the
                                                                                                                  ball completely.”
                                                                                          “Understandable,” the woman said. “But still, that’s only one
                                                                                                      swing. How did he win the game?”
                                                                                         The pro answered, “You try swinging at a golf ball all day while
                                                                                                       waiting for that second ‘gotcha!’

                                                                                                           I tried that thing today at the gas station where
                                                                                                             you try and stop the pump bang on what you
                                                                                                            want to pay, but let it go a fraction too late and
                                                                                                                          it stopped on $20.03.

                                                                                                            “Rats!” I shouted and walked into the shop to
 Landmark Title Corp. offers title insurance, escrow and closing services
for all of your real estate needs. With an attorney on staff Landmark Title                                “Unlucky, pal,” smiled the attendant, who’d seen
  Corp. is able to provide preparation of all necessary legal documents.                                    what I’d done. “Don’t worry about the extra.”
  Whether through a real estate professional or on your own, Landmark
      Title Corp. looks forward to assisting you with your real estate                                       “Thanks, pal,” I said as I handed him my ten
            transactions in Iosco, Alcona and Ogemaw counties.                                                             bucks and split.
now find “the good life press” on facebook                                                                                              The Good Life - april 2011 • 5

     POLISH                                                            -AMERICAN HOMESTYLE COOKING
                                                                        WINTER HOURS Sun-Thurs 8:00am - 7:00pm • Fri-Sat 8:00am - 8:00pm

   Baba Ruski’s Donates to Ossineke F.O.E. Charity Fund
       For every pizza valued $10 or more purchased in the months of March and April 2011, Baba
                     Ruski’s will donate $1 to the F.O.E. Aerie #3762, Ossineke Eagles Club general
                           charity fund benefitting diabetes, heart and Alzheimer’s research.
                      Also, for every breakfast purchased by a card-carrying Eagles Club member
                    and their party from 8am to Noon, Monday through Saturday, in March and April
                           2011, Baba Ruski’s will donate 50¢ to the Aerie #3762 charity fund.
      MONDAYS                             TUESDAYS                     WEDNESDAYS                 THURSDAYS                                             SATURDAYS
           (4) Potato                   1/2 Lb. Burger                   1 Coney Dog           Pancake Breakfast                                        Homemade Onion
           Pancakes                                                                                                                                          Rings
                                           w/ Fries                        w/ Fries               All You Can Eat
            $2.99                                                                                                                                         Huge Basket
       Don’t Miss It!                       $4.99                           $3.25                           $3.99                                                  $2.49
  Now Serving Pizza with Homemade Dough & Sauce
   Homemade Pierogi • Stuffed Cabbage • Polish Meatballs • Potato Pancakes
       Combination Platter • Small Combo • Turkey & Chicken Dinners
                     Plath’s Smoked & Fresh Kielbasa & Sauerkraut
         FIESTA MONDAY                                          WEDNESDAY POLISH NIGHT                             PASTA SATURDAY
 3 Tacos Dinner w/ Rice & Refried Beans $6.75                               ~~~~~~                                    Lasagna $7.99
             Wet Burrito $6.99                                        SEAFOOD FRIDAY                            Spaghetti with Spicy Italian or
       Chicken or Steak Fajitas $8.99                                  Shrimp Dinner $9.99                      American-Italian Sauce $5.99
            Nacho Grande $6.99                                      Totally Delicious ¾ lb. Filet
                                                                     Whitefish Dinner $10.99                        Chicken Alfredo $8.99
            Refried Beans $1.50                                                                                    Shrimp Alfredo $9.99
                                                                All-You-Can-Eat Cod Dinner $9.99

            Come and Join Us for All-You-Can-Eat Cod Dinner $9.99
             Whitefish Dinner $10.99 • Rainbow Trout $8.99 • Smelt $6.99

                           ALWAYS AVAILABLE
         BBQ Kansas City Ribs           Meatloaf Dinner $7.49                                                                                       and Our Famous
     $8.99 ½ Slab, $13.99 Full Slab   Totally Delicious ¾ lb. Filet                                                                                   Homemade
    (w/ choice of potato & cole slaw)  Whitefish Dinner $10.99                                                                                         Onion Rings
     Serving Breakfast All Day Every Day
  13018 US-23, Ossineke • (989) 471-2300                                                                                                 Accept

                                                                         I got home from       “Never kiss in front of other people. It‛s
                                                                        the pub last night     a big embarrassing thing if anybody sees
                                                                       and my wife said, “I
 Boat &
             Gordon’s                                        Hunting
                                                              & ORV
                                                                        can’t believe how     you....If nobody sees you, I might be willing
                                                                                              to try it with a handsome boy, but just for
                        BAIT & TACKLE                                     intoxicated you
                                                                               are.”                          a few hours.”
 Minnows  Wigglers  Leafworms NightcrawlersWaxworms Spikes
                                                                                                                          -Kally, nine years old
   Pop  Snacks  IceCampfire Wood Tackle & Gear                      Denying it I said,
                                                                        “I’m not drunk.”
     OPEN 7 DAYS • Daylight to Dark - Just Stop In!
    6075 N. M-65, Glennie at the AuSable River & Five Channels Dam
                 (989) 728-2248                                        She said, “Yes you      Hometown Hydroponics
                                                                              are.”                                      We Are Your One-Stop Shop for All Your Growing
I am not a believer in seances, but I went to one just                                                                           and Indoor Gardening Supplies
                                                       I said, “No I’m not.”                                             We Have All Types of Growing Systems
 to see what they are like. The psychic was doing his
  thing and grinning from ear to ear. I assumed his                                                                               and Their Components
                                                        She said, “Can you
 merriment was due to the fact that he was fooling a                                                                     10% OFF Purchase of                                        Light Systems for
                                                          tell the time?”                                                                                                          All Growing Stages
gullible public and gave him a poke in the nose. You                                                                        $100 or More                                            Mon-Fri 9:30-5:30
             can probably guess the rest.                                                                                   for Compassion Club Card Holders
                                                                                                                                                                                     Sat 10:00-3:00
                                                        I walked up to the
                                                                                                                         5105 North US23, Oscoda, MI 48750
     I was arrested for striking a happy medium.
                                                       clock and said, “I’m
                                                            not drunk.”
                                                                                               Full Line of Air-Cooled
                                                                                                Reflectors in Stock        In Little Caesar’s Plaza, next to Your Cash Connection   (989) 739-2996
6 • The Good Life - april 2011                                                                                         thank your advertisers, they supply you with the good life!
                                   366 S. US-23, Harrisville
 B&D Sales                             989-724-6212
                                                                                                                                      ­ by Paul Peterson and Yul Tolbert

  Golf Cart Accessories, U-HAUL AUTHORIZED DEALER
    Lift Kits & Boxes           Truck Sales
                    Now Offering Truck & Trailer Rentals
                      Recycled   Plus Moving
                      Batteries    Supplies
                       $35       Mon-Fri 9-5;
                    w/ Exchange    Sat 9-1
 Parts & Service - All Makes   VISA & MASTERCARD ACCEPTED

                                                                           Walking Across America collection of works available at Simple Miracles, Harrisville

                                                                           at a buzzing Bee-hive and thought: “Those
                                                                            I’d like to thank the person who looked
                                                                             guys are hiding something delicious in
                       “Where Success is at Home”

      Serving Oscoda, Harrisville, Lincoln,
       Mikado, National City, and Tawas
    Sunrise Side Home Healthcare is a non-medical private
                                                                                         there I know it.”
                                                                                                                        Saturday, April 16th, 4:30-7:00 pm
    duty home healthcare agency that provides quality care
   services for individuals in the comfort of their own home,
                                                                                                                          $7 for adults, $5 for children
    helping them to live independently or assist them in the                                                                5-12 years, under 5 free
  essential everyday tasks. Servicing from a few hours-a-day
                to 24 hours-a-day, 7 days a week.                                                                                          Serving Baked
              www.sunrisesidehomecare.com                                                                                              Potatoes with All the
                     (989) 984-7619                                                                                                     Trimmings, Pie and
                                                                                                                                         Various Desserts,
 “It’s better for girls to be single but not                                                                                                 Beverages
 for boys. Boys need somebody to clean
               up after them.”                                                                                         St. Matthew Lutheran Church
                  – Anita, nine years old                                                                                      7109 Wolf Creek Rd., Herron
                                                                                                                        For more information, call 989-727-2769

                                                                           There was once a man from the city who was
                                                                           visiting a small farm, and during this visit he
                                                                          saw a farmer feeding pigs in a most extraordi-
                                                                          nary manner. The farmer would lift a pig up to
                                                                           a nearby apple tree, and the pig would eat the
                                                                           apples off the tree directly. The farmer would
                                                                           move the pig from one apple to another until
            Tools - Hardware - General Merchandise                        the pig was satisfied, then he would start again
             Paints - Paint Supplies - Sandpaper                                          with another pig.
                  Knives - Pet Supplies & More
             Cement Pavers - Retaining Wall Blocks                         The city man watched this activity for some
                      Tarps - Rope - Gloves                                 time with great astonishment. Finally, he
                                                                          could not resist saying to the farmer, “This is
    JUST IN: A GREAT SELECTION OF LTD COMMODITIES                          the most inefficient method of feeding pigs
  Sunrise Surplus                                                         that I can imagine. Just think of the time that
                                                                          would be saved if you simply shook the apples
 1784 East US-23                      Mon-Fri 8:30-5:00 • Sat 8:30-4:00   off the tree and let the pigs eat them from the
 East Tawas, MI 48730                 (989) 362-7033                                          ground!”

                                                                                  The farmer looked puzzled and replied,
     Easter is Special at                                                                 “What’s time to a pig?”

  * Fine Easter Chocolates at a Fine Price
  * Customized Easter Gift Baskets
  * Chocolate or Krispy Edible Filled Baskets                                                 Flying Vultures
  * Chocolate Rabbits, Chickens, Ducks, Lambs
                                                                             As migration approached, two elderly
  * Huge Selection of Chocolate Suckers and Easter Chocolates
                                                                           vultures doubted they could make the trip
  * Assorted Boxed Chocolates, 1/4 lb. to 5 lbs.
                                                                            south, so they decided to go by airplane.
  * Famous Chocolatier Apples
  * Great Selection of Sugar Free Chocolates
  * All Flavors of Jelly Belly® Candies                                    When they checked their baggage, the at-
  * M & M® Colorworks® - 21 Colors                                        tendant noticed that they were carrying two
                                                                           dead raccoons. “Do you wish to check the
  OPEN Monday - Saturday 10-6 and Sunday 11-4
                                                                            raccoons through as luggage?” she asked.
   104 Newman Street • East Tawas, MI 48730            Delivery or
     Toll Free (888) 362-7729 • (989) 362-7728          Shipping          “No, thanks,” replied the vultures. “They’re                        Yep...flip flops. You still haven’t seen it
           www.villagechocolatier.com                                                      carrion.”                                             all, but you’re that much closer.
now find “the good life press” on facebook                                                                                                          The Good Life - april 2011 • 7

       Melvin Motorcycle Museum
                    Exhibits from Motorcycling’s Past
             June 10th, 11th & 12th, 2011
                                                                You Are Invited to Attend!
                                                               The Melvin Motorcycle Museum features
                                                            many rare machines. Over 30,000 artifacts and
                                                            drawings collected through contributions from
                                                             many experts in the motorcycle field. There is
                                                           something for everyone. Bring the kids and show
                                                                them what YOU rode back in the day!

                                                                                                                                       Step into the exciting past of
                                                                                                                                    motorcycling in Oscoda, Michigan!
                                                                                                                                   The wind in your face, the grace and
                                                                                                                                   freedom of a bird. Motorcycles have
                                                                                                                                     provided excitement, adventure
                                                                                                                                   and transportation since before the
                                                                                                                                            Twentieth Century.

  FREE bikes will be                                          Guided Motorcycle Rides • Stunt Show • Parade                                    Znen Scooters
    given away!                                             Precision Goldwing Drill Team • Antique Bike Shows                                117 MILES PER GALLON!
                                                               Swap Meet • Music • Food • A Fun Time for All!
                                                                                Appraisal Session
                                                                                The Museum will hold its first open
                                                                                  appraisal session, for Bikes and
  Puma scooter and Honda CRF                                                    memorabilia. The public is invited to          117 miles per gallon under perfect test conditions.
   NOTICE: you must be present to win, There will be a drawing each day
   and times will be posted on our web site(Bikergarage101.com) and in           bring their Barn and attic finds to           You may get less mileage, but you will seldom have
  the show. Winners must be at least 18 years old or their guardian must
     take delivery of the bike and assume all liability. All winners will be     the Melvin Museum and receive a              to stop for gas! Many Models to choose from. 50cc,
   required to sign a liability release prior to taking delivery. Be a winner
           come on in and sign up any time before the drawings.                       free appraisal of values.                150cc and 250cc. Awesome prices at Biker Garage!
    Come see the New Biker Garage Showroom for All Your Powersport Needs
           Motorcycle Parts & Accessories for Less! Liquidation Prices!
     Helmets, Gloves, Leather Apparel & So Much More! Phone 989-736-6300
     www.melvinmuseum.com                                                                                www.bikergarage101.com
      3950 Arrow Dr. Oscoda, MI 48750  On the former Wursmith Air Force Base
My son is starting school soon and thinks the                                      A mother was reading a               Have you seen how expensive funerals are nowadays? Just
                                                                                    book about animals to               before I die, I’m going to change my name to ‘OFF’. That
other children will pick on him because of his                                     her 3 year old daughter.
                      name.                                                                                             way, when the hearse is driving to the church, it will have
                                                                                   Mother: “What does the                       displayed on top of my coffin in flowers:
I said, “Don’t be silly, Someoneyourownsize,                                               cow say?”
       why would anyone pick on you?”                                                    Child: “Moo!”                                              R.I.P. OFF
                                                                                     Mother: “Great! What
                                                                                       does the cat say?”
  Precious Petals by Jamie                                                              Child: “Meow.”
                                                                                                                                                                 BRIAN ANKNER
   Florals, Plants, Balloons, Delivery, Gifts
                and Much More!                                                      Mother: “Oh, you’re so
           Easter Plants and Florals                                                 smart! What does the
       Prom 2011 – Make It Special!!!                                                      frog say?”                                                              Custom
                                                                                   And this wide-eyed little
           Mothers Day May 8th –
    Order Early and Make Mom Feel Loved!                                            3 year-old looked up at                                                  201 S. Second St.
                 1790 US-23, East Tawas                                              her mother and in her                                                      Lincoln, MI
         (Next door to Sunrise Surplus) • 362-4478                                                                         All Work Done in Smoke
                                                                                    deepest voice replied,                       Free Shop!                  1-989-736-7467
                           Most credit cards accepted
8 • The Good Life - april 2011                                                   thank your advertisers, they supply you with the good life!
                                                                                Get Your Button On!
                                                Help fund the Alpena Fireworks by purchasing an “I support the Alpena fireworks” button for a minimum
                                                donation of $5. Buttons are available from Chamber Ambassadors and at the following Chamber Members:
                                                First Federal, Thunder Bay Credit Union, Cabin Creek Coffee, Take 5 Deli, Besser Credit Union , Perch’s
                                                IGA, Alpena Alcona Area Credit Union, the Chamber Office, Downtown Dentistry, Ripley St. Big Boy, Bank
                                                of Alpena, Star Staffing, Neiman’s Family Market, Skiba Insurance, Zolnierek Insurance, Top O’ Michigan,
                                                Lappan Agency, Century 21 Crow Realty, and Alpena Agency.
                                                Get caught around town with your button on by one of the 25 volunteers and receive an entry form that you
                                                can complete and submit for a chance to win $100 in gift certificates to area businesses. There is no limit on
                                                the number of entry forms you can receive – the more you wear your button, the greater your chances of being

                                                                                              Marc K. Ferguson
                                                                                              Financial Advisor                           2011
     Full Service Excavating
                                                                                              1015 US 23 North
                                                                                              Suite 1
     & Material Contractor                                                                    Alpena, MI 49707
                                                                                              Bus. 989-358-2049
                                                                                              TF. 888-358-8997
                                                                                              Fax 888-418-9668
                                                                                                                                        Voices of
                                                                                                                                       Date: Friday, May 6,
   NORTHERN NIGHTS                                                                                                                     2011
   Wholesale Mattress and Furniture                                                                                                    Time: 9a.m.-3:30p.m.
                                                             Water Softeners                                                           Location: Collins
  We’re New in Town                                          Water Softeners
                                                             Drinking Water Units
                                                             Drinking Water Units                                                      Center, Alpena
                                                             Bottles water
                                                             Bottled Water
      EVERYTHING’S ON SALE                                   Free Water testing
                                                             2118 Werth Rd. - Alpena • Phone: 989-354-8151                             Details: This
     2633 US 23 South, Alpena, MI 49744                                                                                                leadership
                                                                                                                                       conference is
                                                              Proud Sponsor of the Community and Its Youth
                                          60” Oak                                                                                      called Chick-
                                           Table                                                                                       fil-a Leadercast,
                                          $390.00                                                                                      Voice of Change
                                         on Special                                                                                    and the message
                                          $159.00                        Besser Credit Union                                           is about living a
  Garant’s Office Supplies & Printing, Inc.                      1381 N. Bagley & 7421 US-23 North • Alpena, MI
                                                               (989) 356-1880 & (989) 595-6590 • www.bessercu.com
                                                                                                                                       life of authentic
       117 W. Washington Ave., Alpena, MI 49707                       $10.00 membership coupon for any new account                     leadership. The focus
           989-356-3930 Fax: 989-354-3913                                       New Members Welcome!
                                                                                                                                       is on encouraging
                                                                                                  605 S. Ripley Blvd., Alpena
                                                                                                                                       leaders to use their
 Sherryl Kelly                                                                                    (989) 356-2181                       leadership voice
 Independent Sales Director                                                                                                            to give strength,
 2114 Wyndham Ln                                                                                                                       guidance, vision
 Alpena, MI 49707
 989-619-9652                                                 CROW REALTY                        Each office is independently owned
                                                                                                           and operated
                                                                                                                                       and hope to those
                                                                                                                                       around them. The
 sherryl2@hotmail.com                                          Quality Service • Award-Winning Office                                   2011 Chick-fil-a
                                                              Alpena’s ALL TIME Real Estate Leader                                     Leadercast will
                                                                                                                                       feature 13 big-name
 ALPENAM-32 West, Alpena, MI 49707 LLC
                                                                                                   Alpena’s Famous
                                                                                                                                       speakers such as:
                                                                                               Served in Alpena for over 40 years!     John Maxwell, Dave
    4344                                                                                       A grilled 6 oz. burger, topped with
                                                                                                                                       Ramsey, Seth Godin,
                     Tony Skiba
                                                                                                the original “giant” sauce, slice of
                                                                                               American cheese, diced onion, pick-
                                                                                               les and shredded lettuce, all served    Robin Roberts, Suzy
   989.356.5609 Phone • 989.356.5183 Fax                                                         on a toasted sesame seed bun...
                                                                                                                                       Welch, and more.
   Best Pricing with Local Convenience!
  Buy All Types of Metal On & Off Site Car Crushing
                                                               400 S. Ripley, Alpena
                                                                                                          4        99
                                                                                              AVAILABLE ALL DAY TUESDAY
                                                                                                                                       The Leadercast
                                                                                                                                       will be broadcast

                                                                                               Dine In & Carryout Available            live from Atlanta,
                                                                                                                                       Georgia right to our
                                                                                                                                       location in Alpena.
                                                                                                                                       Some of the topics
                                           ®                                                                                           that will be covered
                                                                                                                                       are: leading based
 718 West Campbell
 Alpena, MI 49707             Brian Faylor
                                                                                                                                       on relationship
                              General Manager                                                                                          rather than
 989-354-8724                 Water Treatment Specialist
 800-286-0702                                                                                                                          rights, providing
now find “the good life press” on facebook                                                             The Good Life - april 2011 • 9
 Chamber Membership Drive kicks off April 1, 2011
This year the Chamber of Commerce is holding a membership drive. The Alpena Cham-
ber is 400 members strong but knows they can achieve much more and provide expo-
nentially greater benefits for the business community of Northeast Michigan if they
increase their membership base. Volunteers will be contacting prospective members
through April and May, and the drive will conclude at a Business After Hours event on
June 7th. Want to be member of the Alpena Chamber? Now is a great time to sign up
and join the 400 + other businesses in the Alpena Area who support the Chamber’s mis-

exceptional                ONE FREE CAR WASH
customer service,           When You Purchase 5 Car
creating a culture            Washes in Advance
of servanthood,                State Street Auto Wash * Alpena
the keys to finding                Ripley Car Wash * Alpena                                  www.StarStaffingAlpena.com
                                  Vintage Auto Wash * Alpena
your passion,                    Clearview Car Wash * Oscoda
unlocking creativity            Clearview Car Wash * E. Tawas
in your workplace,
and incorporating                                                                United Way of Northeast Michigan
innovation into your                                                                      LIVE UNITED                 TM

organization. Cost:                                                                      Give. Advocate. Volunteer.
Chamber Members:
1-3 people: $50 each
                                                                                   Serving Alpena, Alcona & Montmorency Counties
or 4+ people: $40                                                                     701 Woodward Avenue, Alpena, MI 49707
each. Prospective                                                                         989-354-2221 ~ 989-356-5782 FAX
Chamber Members:
1-3 people: $65 each
or 4+ people: $55           Prell’s Towing Service LLC
each. Price includes              3020 US 23 South, Alpena, MI 49707
workbook, lunch and               (989) 354-3214 • Cell (989) 590-3244
the full day seminar.                                                            Energy Bills Too High?
                           25 HOURS
                                                                                 Let Me Show You Why...
To register or if          AAA ROAD SIDE SERVICE
                           DAMAGE-FREE TOWING                                   Energy auditing by
you have questions                                                               Doug Niergarth
                           LOCK-OUT SPECIALISTS
contact the Chamber        LOCAL & LONG DISTANCE
                                                                                 NORTHERN TECHNICAL SERVICES
                                                                                 989-884-1171 Email: nortech_svc@yahoo.com
at 989.354.4181.
Thank you to our              See us for all your mortgage needs!
sponsors –
Corporate Sponsors:                          ALPENA
Living Hope Church                         ALCONA AREA
Business Sponsors:                         CREDIT UNION
Alpena Power                                      989-354-1515
Company, Alpena                                  www.aaacu.com

Alcona Area Credit          Current mortgage rates are at an all time low

Union, Bannan
                                                                                                            Bryan Strong
Funeral Home,                                                                                               Financial Advisor
Bay Athletic Club,
                                                                                                            1065 N. Bagley Street #13
NEMROC, Timm                                                                                                Alpena, MI 49707
                                                                                                            Bus. 989-356-0934
Construction                                                                                                Cell 989-464-6884
Company, Top O’                                                                                             TF. 866-356-0934
                                                                                                            Fax 877-874-8671
Michigan Insurance,
Werth Electric                                                                                              bryan.strong@edwardjones.com

                                                                                                25% OFF
                                                                                                 REGULAR PRICE
                                                                                    On your next premium compatible printer
                                                      3020 US-23 South, Alpena
                                                                                  cartridge. We can supply any make or model.
                                                        ALPENA DIAL A RIDE            Please call or email for a quote today!
                                                          THUNDER BAY                Must present coupon – one cartridge per coupon
                                                     TRANSPORTATION CENTER                  Offer valid through May 31, 2011
 and a finalist for 2010                                     354-2487               Call 989-354-5816 • service@gloe.net
10 • The Good Life - april 2011                                                                 find us online supply you with the good life!
                                                                                   thank your advertisers, theyat www.thegoodlifepress.com

     Two Great Destinations...

                                                                                                                                                                            When you catch a fish and put it back, do you reckon
                                                                                                                                                                            it goes back to its friends and says it was abducted
                                                                                          My Glass Wings
                              Mon/Wed/Fri/Sat 10:00-7:00; Tues/
                              Thurs 10:00-8:00; Sun 12:00-5:00
                                                                                           Custom Stained Glass

                               989-278-4020                                                Design and Fabrication
                                                                                          Repairs * Art Glass Supply

                                                                                          Handmade Gifts * Heirloom Keepsakes

                                                                                                                                                                                                   by aliens?
                               Alpena’s Independent Book Store
                                                                                               BOOKING BEGINNING AND REGULAR CLASSES
  THURSDAY APRIL 28TH, 10:00 - 11:30AM                                                         Friday, Saturday, Sunday Options Now Available
                                                                                                      OPEN ENROLLMENT - CALL NOW

  Welcome Special Guest, Elaine Stenger,                                                        Suncatcher Classes Scheduled As Requested
   Local Author speaking about her Book,                                                                          WINTER HOURS:
            Dancing in the Rain                                                            Sat & Mon 10-2; Tues/Thurs 10:00-8:00; Wed/Fri 10:00-7:00; Sun 12:00-5:00

   Children’s Story Time - Fridays 10:30-11:00am                                                            989-358-9464
         We Will Be Closed Easter Sunday                                                 Visit us at www.myglasswings.com
                                                                                                                                     GIFT CERTIFICATES AVAILABLE
           WE CARRY THE NEW YORK TIMES                                                     e-mail: GlassWings@Sisna.com

      Johnrowe Building – 106 Second Ave, Alpena

 Len & Layne’s Little Store
 & Side Door Bait & in Stock!
   Shadow Hunter Elevators Now
                               Tackle                             Two men died and went
              Live Bait & Tackle                                     to Heaven. St. Peter
                                                                   greeted them, and said
                                                                                                     Abend Brothers Collision, Inc.
       All DNR Licenses • Groceries
      Deli Meats & Cheeses • Spirits • Lotto                       “I’m sorry, gentlemen,                    10130 US 23 South, P.O. Box 94
         At the south end of Hubbard Lake                         but your mansions aren’t                         Ossineke, MI 49766
  3585 Woodlawn • Spruce, MI 48762                                ready yet. Until they are,
                                                                   I can send you back to                  Ph: 989-471-2811 Fax: 989-471-2291
  989-736-6418 • lbsales@chartermi.net                             Earth as whatever you                            Reg. No. F-138693
                                                                         want to be.”

                                                                    “Great!” said the first
                                             We A                   guy, “I want to be an
                                          Clean ccept Dry            eagle soaring above
                                               ing                                                                          For All Your Cross Stitch Needs!
                                          Bay D for Tawas
                                                ry Cle               beautiful scenery!”                                e-mail: infostitchesnblooms@yahoo.com
                                                                                                                      • DMC Floss • Fabrics • Books • Buttons • Beads
       Try Our New Digital Photo Machine with Many                 “No problem,” replied            Now carrying *Complete Custom Matting & Framing Service
                                                                    St. Peter, and POOF!              Primitive          ~Mail/Phone Orders Always Welcome~             Now carrying
          New Features at the Same Low Prices!                                                       Embroidery
                                                                  The guy was gone. “And                                                                                   Beads
         Russell Stover Candies • All Occasion Cards                                                  Stamped         Hours: Monday - Friday 10am-5pm                     $5 ea.
              Lorann Flavoring Oils $1.25 each                     what do you want to              Embroidery &    Suite 132 • 2205 US-23 South • Alpena, MI
                                                                                                                                                                         3 for $10
                                                                                                                                                                         Compatible with
                                                                  be,” St. Peter asked the           Cross Stitch
  989-736-6895                    989-736-8138                            other guy.                    Items                   (989) 354-3739                          all bead bracelets
                                                                                                                                                                            & necklaces

  A recent survey done by marriage experts shows that              “I’d like to be one cool
the most common form of marriage proposal these days                stud!” was the reply.
         consists of the words: “You’re what?!?”
                                                                  “Easy,” replied St. Peter,
                     Randy McKinney                                and the other guy was
                                                                                                              (2) Difficulty: Medium 9x9
                                                                                                                         Solution at the back of the paper
                       National Rifle Association
                                                                  After a few months, their
                           Certified Instructor                    mansions were finished,
                                                                     and St. Peter sent an
                                                                                                               6                   7                   8                5
                     Pistol and Personal Protection
                                                                  angel to fetch them back.
                                                                  “You’ll find them easily,”                             2                                      3
 989-739-5937                          989-724-5599                he says, “One of them is
 Oscoda, MI 48750              Harrisville, MI 48740              soaring above the Grand                      1                   5                   2                4
                                                                    Canyon, and the other

                                                                     one is on a snow tire
                                                                                                               7         1                                      2       8
                                                                   somewhere in Detroit!”
                                                                                                     4                                                                                     1

                                                 After            Whoever said that
                                                 Noon               laughter is the                            3         6                                      9       7
                                                                  best medicine has
                                                                   obviously never                             9                   1                   5                2
                                                                   had broken ribs.
    Homemade Jerky
                                                                                                                         5                                      6
       Bacon                                                        I was in court the                         8                   3                   6                9
                                                                     other day about
      LUNCH SPECIALS • CAPPUCCINO                                   divorcing my wife.                                        www.sudoku-puzzles.net

  Homemade Soups, Salads & More Daily at 11am                     When the judge asked               My physics teacher told me I
                                                                  why I wanted to get a
   We accept VISA, MasterCard, Bridge Cards, and WIC              divorce, apparently “I            had a lot of potential. Then he
                   Open Daily at 8am                              bought a dishwasher”                  pushed me off a roof.
  2276 F-41, Mikado • 989-736-3066                                 wasn’t good enough.
now find “the good life press” on facebook                                                                      The Good Life - april 2011 • 11

                                         Super Kicker Rodeo
                Friday, May 6th                    7pm
                Saturday, May 7th                  7pm
                Sunday, May 8th                    2pm
                               Mother’s Day – Mom’s Ticket $8
                          o 12 & over $12
                          o 5-11         $6
                          o Weekend $25
                      At the Door
                          o 12 & over $15
                          o 5-11         $8
                          o Under 5      Free
                          o Weekend $30
                  Tickets Available at Northern Lights Arena, Perch’s IGA, &
                       Alpena Alcona Area Credit Unions (all locations)                                      Bratwurst
                 Free Concert with Rodeo Ticket
                                                                             Bull Riding                     Hot Dogs
                                                                             Bare Bronx Riding          Provided by Perch’s
                                                                             Saddle Bronx Riding                IGA
                                                                             Mutton Busting
                 Concert 9:30 Friday and Saturday Nights
                        (Concert Only Ticket $6)
                                                                             Boot Scramble

               751 WOODWARD AVE, ALPENA, MI 49707, (989) 356-1878, www.northernlightsarena.org

                                                                                                         Other Coming Events at
                                                                                                         Northern Lights Arena
                                                                                                        Alpena Figure Skating Club Presents -
                                                                                                              Skating Around the World
           HORSE AND DOG EXTRAVAGANZA                                                                              April 8th, 7 pm
                                                                                                                 April 9th, 1pm & 7pm
                  MAY 11-15 2011

         FRIDAY:                                                                                                Dave Dyer Comedian
         6:00 DOG DEMOSTRATIONS                                                                                 April 15th 8 pm Show
                                                           For Rules and Classification Contact                       Tickets $6
         SATURDAY:                                                  Alfred Standen at               Table Reservations Available at 989-356-1878
         K-9—5k Walk/Run                                      al-rosestanden@yahoo.com ,
         Horse training                                             (989)379-3067 or                             M-PAC Dinner Auction
         pony rides                                           Al Standen at (989)464-2355.                              April 30th
         Horse breed demonstrations                                                                     Doors Open at 5 pm with dinner at 6 pm
                                                                                                   Tickets Available at Northern Lights Arena or any
         SUNDAY:                                                                                                     M-PAC Member
         Horse training
         1:00 cowboy challenge                                                                               Saturday Night Open Skate
                                                                                                          Starting April 16th thru August 27th
               A complete list of activities                                                                           6-10 pm
             alpenahorsemensclub.tripod.com                                                               $4 to enter the building and Skate
                                                                                                                   $2 Skate Rental
                  Riding lessons available
                                                                                                     (Special on April 16th Free)
12 • The Good Life - april 2011                                                     thank your advertisers, they supply you with the good life!

  dean arbour                                           CHEVROLET &
                                                         CADILLAC             NO WORRIES SALE
                                                                   Choice. Quality.
                                                                   Peace of Mind.

   2007 PONTIAC GRAND PRIX.                 2007 GMC ENVOY 4x4.                     2010 DODGE CARAVAN SE                     2010 BUICK LUCERNE
    Auto, air, SE. Used GM certified         CD player, auto, air, cruise.          7 Passenger seats. 22,000 miles. Sto-   Only 27,000 miles. CXL trim. Leather
   has a 12 mos/12,00 mile bumper          Certified 12 mos/12,000 miles             Go seats. 12 mo/14,000 miles of the     seats, heated. Luxury all the way.
  to bumper warranty. Also 2.9% for        bumper to bumper warranty.             remainder of factory warranty, bumper    Factory warranty up to 50,000 miles,
    as long as 60 mos. GMO44041                     GMO44184                         to bumper. Sale priced. OVE44120              bumper to bumper.
      $12,500 Payment $209                   $15,995 Payment $249                       $19,995 Payment $315                $24,995 $399 for 72 mos

  2010 CHEVROLET HHR 22 I4 LT               2008 BUICK LUCERNE                          2007 GMC CANYON                         2006 HONDA CR-V
  Auto, air, cruise, 30MPG. Bumper        Certified warranty. 12,000 miles/          Ext. cab, 4x4. Auto, air, chrome       4WD, auto, air, cruise, low miles
   to bumper warranty. Certified.            12 mos bumper to bumper                   wheels. 12,000 miles/12 mos           – 36,000 miles. Great on fuel!
               OVE44134                          warranty. U44086                   bumper to bumper GM Certified                       U44197
   $13,995        $215 for 72 mos          $18,995 $299 for 72 mos                         warranty. P44169                  $16,595 $299 for 60 mos
                                                                                     $16,495 $259 for 72 mos

           2010 CHEVROLET EQUINOX                                All payments are based on lender                2008 FORD ESCAPE LXT
    FWD, auto, air, cruise, 30MPG. Bumper to bumper               terms & approval. All customers      FWD 2.3L, auto, air, cruise. Great on fuel! U44304
    warranty 12 mos/10,000 miles. Up to 100,000 mile              may not be approved. Payment:                  $14,995 $229 for 72 mos
             power train warranty. U44309                        $2,000 down from the customer.
              $21,995 $349 for 72 mos                                   Taxes are included.

                                          No Worries Benefits
     100,000-Mile/                                                                                                                           Courtesy
         5-Year                                                            Largest                                                        Transportation
      Powertrain                                                         Selection of
        Limited                             117-Point                                                        3-Day/150-Mile
                                                                        Certified Used                         Satisfaction
                      3-Month/ 3,000       Inspection                     Vehicles    Like-New                 Guarantee
                                                                                             Vehicle                        24-Hour GM
                     Mile New Vehicle                        Vehicle                                                         Roadside
                     Limited Warranty                        History                        Financing
                                                                                           for Qualified                     Assistance
                        Extension+                           Report

      *Whichever comes first from original in-service date. Some 2003 models will not be eligible based on their in-serivce date. See your dealer for limited
                                         warranty details. +Whichever comes first. Programs can change at any time.

    dean arbour                                           CHEVROLET &                       Call 1-866-438-3326
                                                           CADILLAC                              www.DeanArbourChevy.com
                                                                                                     (989) 362-3403
     Sales • Service • Parts • Body Shop                                                      1859 N. US-23 • East Tawas, MI
now find “the good life press” on facebook                                                                            The Good Life - april 2011 • 13

               SPRING’S BEST EVENT

                                                                                                                              OWNING A
                                                                                                                              CADILLAC HAS
                                                                                                                              ITS PRIVELEGES
                                                                                                                              ALL 2011 CADILLAC
                                                                                                                              VEHICLES NOW COME
                                                                                                                              STANDARD WITH
                                                                                                                              CADILLAC PREMIUM
                                                                                                                              CARE MAINTENANCE

                                                                                                                              It’s a maintenance
                                                                                                                              program that provides
                                                                                                                              more peace of mind
                                                                                                                              by covering select
                                                                                                                              maintenance services
                                                                                                                              during the first 4 years
                                                                                                                              or 50,000 miles1 of the
                                                                                                                              vehicle’s operation. It
                                                                                                                              aligns with the term of
                                                                                                                              our 4 years or 50,000
                                                                                                                              miles1 bumper-to-
                                                                                                                              bumper New Vehicle
                                                                                                                              Limited Warranty. And,
                                                                                                                              it’s fully transferable.

                                                                                                                              COVERS ROUTINE
                                                                                                                              MAINTENANCE DURING
                                                                                                                              THE FIRST 4 YEARS
                                                                                                                              OR 50,000 MILES1

                                                                                                                              • OIL CHANGES2
                                                                                                                              • TIRE ROTATION3
                                                                                                                              • ENGINE AIR
                                                                                                                                CLEANER FILTER
                                                                                                                              • PASSENGER
                                                                                                                                AIR FILTER
                                                                                                                              • MULTI-POINT VEHICLE

                                                                                                                              1. Whichever comes first.
                                                                                                                              See dealer for details.
                                                                                                                              2. Based on your Cadillac’s
                                                                                                                              life monitor system, when
                                                                                                                              scheduled in accordance
                                                                                                                              with the Owner’s Manual.
                                                                                                                              3. Every 7,500 miles.
                                                                                                                              4. Multi-point vehicle
                                                                                                                              inspection: A comprehensive
                                                                                                                              vehicle inspection,
                                                                                                                              performed by a qualified
                                                                                                                              dealership, that evaluates
                                                                                                                              multiple “points” on a
                                                                                                                              particular vehicle such as:
                                                                                                                              the engine, transmission,
                                                                                                                              safety equipment, and tires.

                                                                                                                              Programs can change at any

   1. Example based on survey. Each dealer sets its own price. Your payments may vary. Payments are for a 2011 Cadillac CTS Coupe with an MSRP of
   $38,990. 36 monthly payments total $14,364. Payments are for a 2011 Cadillac CTS with an MSRP of $37,290. 36 monthly payments total $14,364.
   Payments are for a 2011 Cadillac SRX with an MSRP of $39,135. 36 monthly payments total $17,604. Payments are for a 2011 Cadillac Escalade with
   an MSRP of $64,110. 36 monthly payments total $26,244. Option to purchase at lease end for an amount to be determined at lease signing. ALLY must
   approve lease. Take delivery by 5/2/11. Mileage charge of $.25/mile over 30,000 miles. Lessee pays for excess wear. Payments may be higher in some
   states. Not available with some other offers. Residency restrictions apply. ©2011 General Motors. Cadillac® CTS Coupe® CTS® SRX® Escalade®

   dean arbour                                          CHEVROLET &                     Call 1-866-438-3326
                                                         CADILLAC                            www.DeanArbourChevy.com
                                                                                                 (989) 362-3403
    Sales • Service • Parts • Body Shop                                                   1859 N. US-23 • East Tawas, MI
14 • The Good Life - april 2011                                                              thank your advertisers, they supply you with the good life!

              Bienvenidos, Amigos a                                                                                                              Wouldn’t
                                                                                                                                                 Want to
  Los Cuatro Amigos                                                                                                                               Miss It
                                                                                                                                            I was at a once in a lifetime
    Authentic Mexican Restaurant                                                                                                              corporate hospitality at a
                                                                                                                                             premier football game and
    Let Us Introduce You to Real                                                                                                              I got an urgent call from
                                                                                                                                             the wife saying her mom’s
   Mexican Food, Quality & Service!                                                                                                          been hit by a bus and has
                                                                              Offering a Full Menu, Including                                    only hours to live.
                 Lunch Specials                                                            Appetizers • Soups • Salads
                                                                                      Los Cuatro Amigos Del Mar (seafood)                   Fifteen minutes later, I’m at
      •Sunday, Enchiladas or Taco Lunch $5.25                                      Chicken Dishes • Steak Dishes • Pork Dishes
                                                                                            Sizzling Fajitas • Burritos                     the hospital and the wife’s
      •Monday, Tostada Lunch $5.25                                               Enchiladas • Quesadillas • Combination Dinners              hugging me. “Thank-you
                                                                                            Vegetarian Combinations                         darling, I’m so sorry you’ll
      •Tuesday, Fajita Lunch Steak or Chicken $7.00                                    Wine • Beer • Margaritas • Daquiris                       miss your football.”
                                                                                           Other Beverages • Desserts
      •Wednesday, Burrito Amigo Chicken or Beef $6.00
                                                                              Sun. - Thur. 11am-10pm • Fri. & Sat. 11am-11pm                    “Don’t worry, love, I
      •Thursday, Lunch Special #1-#4 $5.25
                                                                                         We accept Visa and MasterCard                         wouldn’t miss this - I’m
      •Friday, Taco Salad Chicken or Beef $5.25                                                                                               taping it and I’ll watch it
                                                                                    1626 East Huron Road, East Tawas
      •Saturday, Fajita Quesdillia Steak or Chicken $6.00                                 (989) 984-0200                                                later.”
                                                                                    ALPENA LOCATION COMING SOON!
                                                                                                                                              Dunno why she got so
      Catering & Take-out Available                                                www.loscuatroamigosinc.com                               upset when I started setting
                                                                                                                                                up the camcorder.
Our local minister had all of his remaining teeth
pulled and new dentures made a few weeks ago.
                                                                                                                                              If you die in
 The first Sunday, his sermon lasted 10 minutes.                        Unable to attend the funeral after his father died, a son            an elevator, be
                                                                        who lived far away called his brother and told him, “Do
The second Sunday, he preached only 20 minutes.                                                                                               sure to push
  But, on the third Sunday, he preached for an                                 something nice for Dad and send me the bill.”
                 hour and a half.                                        Later, he got a bill for $200.00, which he paid. The next           the Up button.
                                                                       month, he got another bill for $200.00, which he also paid,
  I asked him about this. He then told me “well,                                   figuring it was some incidental expense.
  John, that first Sunday, my gums were so sore                         Bills for $200.00 kept arriving every month, and finally the
 it hurt to talk. The second Sunday, my dentures                       man called his brother again to find out what was going
 were still hurting a lot. Now the third Sunday, I                                                     on.
  accidentally grabbed my wife’s dentures AND I                        “Well,” said the other brother, “you said to do something
           COULDN’T STOP TALKING!”                                                 nice for Dad. So I rented him a tuxedo.”

                                                 Dr. Bob and the
 clinics require:
                                                Certification Crew
                                                We have a
 • Records, not affidavits or ‘no record         alternative for
   clinics’, because ONLY records will          your pain.
   protect you in court.
 • No patients are certified without
   records, because even if you were, if                                                          Spring Motorcraft®
                                                                                                    Filter Package
   they don’t require it of everyone, all
   their certs can be questioned because
   of their standards
 • Follow up is offered and required. The
   Doctor is knowledgeable about the law                                                       • Motorcraft® Premium Synthetic Blend Oil and Filter
   and O’Connell decision.                                                                                              change
 • Doctor is fully licensed, to include                                                                • Replace fuel filter • Replace air filter
   DEA registration, without a history of
   discipline by the board.                                                                              • Check cabin air filter (if equipped)
                                                                                               • Rotate and inspect four tires • Inspect brake system
 AVOID clinics that say:                                                                               • Test battery • Check belts and hoses
                                                  • Cancer                                                        • Top off all fluids
  • The O’Connell decision is not law             • Glaucoma
  • Our doctor doesn’t need a DEA license         • Crohns                                    Up to five quarts of Motorcraft® oil and Motorcraft oil filter. Taxes, diesel
    to sign your certification                     • HIV                                           vehicles and disposal fees extra. Hybrid battery test excluded.
  • No follow up is needed other than             • Hepatitis C                                       See Service Advisor for vehicle applications and details.
    coming back next year to recertify.           • Nail Patella Syndrome                                  Offer valid with coupon. Expires 4-30-11.
  • Pay us now and send your records in           • ALS
    later.                                        • Alzheimer’s Disease
                                                  • Wasting Syndrome
   If you feel you are in a cattle drive, you     • Chronic Pain
    probably are. There are a lot of quick
                                                  • Severe Nausea
         buck artists in certifications.           • Seizures
      For safe, professional and
       defensible certifications
                                                  • Muscle Spasms
                                                                                                     Dean Arbour Ford of Tawas
                                             Professional, dependable by a doctor,                    55 West M-55, Tawas City, MI 48763
    CALL 989-254-2105                       who will be there for you if you need him.
    Dr. Bob and the Certification Crew            www.drbobmmj.com                                                  362-3489
now find “the good life press” on facebook                                                                                                          The Good Life - april 2011 • 15

             Dining and Entertainment
                                                         CASUAL DINING
                                                  IMPORTED BEER & WINE                                               Pool • Darts • Burgers
                                                       GOURMET FOODS                   Tuesdays: Bloody Marys $3.00
                                                                                       Thursday Special: $2 Beer Cans, 10¢ Pool
                                                                                       Karaoke Saturday & Sunday at 9:00pm
                                                                105 S. State Street
                                                              Harrisville, MI 48740
                                                                                       Live Entertainment Fridays
                                                                                       Birthdays: 1st Chris; 4th Tanya M.; 9th Paco
               Manuel & Kim Pompa, Proprietors        theflourgarden@hotmail.com        109 River St. in Alpena                       989-356-9117

                                                              101 N. Lake St
                                                                                       RED ROOSTER
                                  Weekday Breakfast            Lincoln, MI                          restaurant
                                   Special $2.99 989-736-6611                                                                       American & Italian Cuisine
                                                                                                                                Daily Specials • Generous Portions
                            Sunday Breakfast Special                                                                                 Breakfast Served All Day
                             2 Eggs, Choice of Meat,
              FOOD SO GOOD, Cheesy Potatoes & Toast                                                                              HOURS: Tues/Wed 8am-2pm • Thurs 8am-7pm
               YOU’LL THINK        $6.25                      Happy Birthday
                                                                                                                                   Fri-Sat 8am-8pm • Sunday 8am-4pm
                                                                                                                                             Closed Mondays
              WE STOLE YOUR                                      Nancy!
                                   FRIDAYS                                                         3228 US 23
                 GRANDMA          All-U-Can-Eat Cod           HAPPY EASTER!             9 miles N. of Oscoda in Greenbush              989-739-7659
                                                                                      My wife just gave me an ultimatum, it’s
              Biggest and Most Delicious Deli Sandwiches in Northeast Michigan              either her or the internet.
                                                New York     (989)
                                                Deli & Pizza 362-9067                        So sadly, this will be my last joke.
                         Deli Sandwiches • Soups & Deli Salads
                                Dogs • Oven-Baked Subs                                 ... in which I talk about having a wife.
                         Zesty Crust Pizza • Wings & Appetizers
                                   Gourmet Desserts
                             Ask About Our Fund Raising Program                                    Saturday, April 9: Children’s Easter Party
                 126 Newman      Mon-Thurs 10am-8pm       APRIL SPECIAL                                 1:00PM - For children up to 12 years old
                   (first block)   Fri-Sat 10am-10pm      Large 1-Item Pizza                                    MEET THE EASTER BUNNY!
              Downtown East Tawas Sun Noon-8pm                $7.99                   AERIE 4141    Food, Drinks, Games, Prizes, Goody Bags, Create Eggs
                                                                                         Sunday, April 10: Breakfast Buffet 9am-1pm
                                                                                       Featuring Scrambled Eggs, Cheesey Scrambled Eggs, Corned Beef Hash, Sausage Biscuits &
              THE NORTH END                                                           Gravy, Hash Browns, Hot Cakes, Fruit Cocktail, Juices, Milk & Coffee $7.00 • Kids Under 12 FREE

                                        Family Restaurant                                Friday - April 15 - BBQ Ribs & Chicken Dinner
                             SERVING BREAKFAST, LUNCH, & DINNER                                                       $8.00 4-7pm
                                        7 AM to 10 PM
                                                                                              Every Wednesday - Burger & Fries Special
              OPEN 7       SPECIALS           SOUPS & CHILI
                                                                                                   2 Burgers and Fries for $4.00 5-7pm
              DAYS A
                                                                                      May 21: 25th Anniversary Party - Watch for Details
                             PIZZA            OPEN YEAR
               WEEK           989-727-2700
              At the North End of Hubbard Lake 1575 W. Hubert Rd.                          Accepting New Member Applications for 2011

                                                                                      671 N. Sanborn Road, Barton City • (989) 736-3050

                               OFFICE                                                                                            ALPENA’S NEWEST
                     LOUNGE & GRILL                                                                                                HOT SPOT!!!
                        Lunch Specials Monday thru Friday                                                                            SUN. - Sports & free food
                  • Great Food & Spirits • 60 Plus Item Menu Inc. Pizza
                                                                                                                                         MON - Penny pool
                        • Kitchen Hours Mon.-Sat. 11 a.m. - 9 p.m.,                                                                     TUE. - Ladies night
                                    Sun. Noon - 9 p.m.                                                                           WED. - Wicked Wednesday - Shot
                              • Keno & Pull Tabs • Free WiFi
                             • Entertainment Thurs. thru Sat.
                     • Happy Hour Mon.-Fr. 4-7 and All Day Sunday                                                                    THUR. - Thirsty Thursday
                      Open Daily at 10am, Sunday at Noon                                                                                 ($3.50 a pitcher)
                       Take-out Orders 739-EATS (3287)                                                                           Karaoke with “Scotty’s Music Madness”
                  All Major Credit Cards Welcome - ATM Machine
                                                                                                                                 FRI. & SAT. - Live Entertainment
                         For up-to-date menu & events                                          A Variety of

                                                                                         $1 SHOTS
                         www.officeloungeandgrill.com                                                                               Beer, Mixed-Drinks, shots, tube
                         110 E. Dwight Street, Oscoda
                                                                                                                                    shooters, Jello shooters, Music,
                                                                                                                                   Contests, Games, Fun, Pool, Cards,
                                                                                        205 Long Lake Ave.
                                                                                                                                   Darts, Gatherings, Parties/Events,
                          ALL YOU CAN EAT FISH FRY! FRIDAY $9.00 inc. tax                Alpena, MI 49707                            Dancing, Karaoke, Live Bands,
                                                                                        (989) 356-6034                                      and Much More!
16 • The Good Life - april 2011                                                         thank your advertisers, they supply you with the good life!

               Dining and Entertainment
                                                                                                Chef Terry Invites You to the
                Kathy’s Family Kitchen
                                                                                        Main Street Diner and Dogs
                  MARCH 2011 HOURS:                                                             417 E. Main, Harrisville • 989-724-6213
                                                                                                              OPEN DAILY 8am-9pm
               Offering Breakfast & Lunch
                    Fri&Sat 8am-1pm                                                     FRIDAY LENT SPECIALS
                                                                                              Cod Dinner AYCE $9.99
                Breakfast Sun 8am-1pm                                                      Fresh Lake Perch Dinner $11.99
                                                                                        Jumbo Shrimp ½ lb. $9.99, Full lb. $16.99
                We Accept                          989-736-8632
                214 W. Mt. Maria Rd, South Shore of Hubbard Lake
                                                                                             Maryland Crab Cakes $12.99
                                                                                            SATURDAY IS BAR-B-Q NIGHT
                                                                                          Chef Terry’s Soon-to-be-Famous Smoked Ribs & Now Serving Smoked
               NEW    Bolton Inn                                                        Brisket Dinners – Get ‘em Fresh from the Smoker at 4pm ‘til They’re Gone!
                                                                                                        HOMESTYLE SUNDAY
                 9101 Bolton Road                           989-358-9592                           Roast Beef Dinner $7.99
                                                                                               and Other Homestyle Favorites
                               EASTER WEEKEND                                                 MONDAY IS POLISH NIGHT:
                                 APRIL 22 & 23                                            Pierogies $7.99 • Stuffed Cabbage $8.99
                Two for                                                      Prime     Potato Pancakes $7.99 • Combo Platters $9.99
                                  Live Music:                                                 TUESDAY IS MEXICAN NIGHT:
                Tuesday           “TRAK IV”
                                                                            Rib is            Tacos, Nachos, Burritos & More
                Remain                                                      Back!            WEDNESDAY IS ITALIAN NIGHT:
                                                                                             Featuring Spaghetti Dinner $6.99
                               Open Mic Wednesdays                                     Chicken Alfredo $8.99 • Shrimp Alfredo $9.99
                                                                                                 and Other Italian Dishes
                OPEN 7 DAYS A WEEK AT LEAST UNTIL MIDNIGHT                                   THURSDAY IS CHINESE NIGHT:
                                                                                         Stir Fries • Egg Rolls • Almond Chicken
                                                                                             Dinner • Schezuan Dishes & More

                        at the “Four Corners” in Hubbard Lake
                Happy Hour  Mon-Thur  Noon to 6pm
                        Rib Special 1/2 Rack w/ French fries
                        $2 TUESDAY!
               WED      Happy Hour All Day                                    Daily
               THURS    Pizza Special/ Buy 1 Lg. Pizza,                     $5 Lunch
                        Get one of Equal or Lesser Value for $4 More
                        Dinner Feature - All You Can Eat Cod $12.95         Specials                    Large
                                                                                       MORE ON MONDAYS: Large 2-Item Pizza $10
               SUN      All Bottled Beer $1.50 ALL DAY • NASCAR Sundays
                        Tavern-Style Chicken Dinner Special
                                                                                                      “TASTY TUESDAY”
                Mardi Gras Party April 2nd, 9pm: DJ Entertainment, Cajun Food & Fun       MED. 2-ITEM PIZZA, $8 ALL DAY
                      OPEN 7 DAYS A WEEK AT NOON
                 All Menu Items Available for Take-out * We Also Have BEER-TO-GO
                   Kitchen Hours: Sun-Thur Noon-11pm, Fri/Sat Noon-Midnight
                                                                                         WEE WEDNESDAY: Small 2-Item Pizza $6
                 7002 Hurbert, N. End Hubbard Lake            (989) 727-3560
                                                                                       “NEW” Hand-Tossed Pizzas
                                                                                       Pizza * Subs * Pasta Dishes          OPEN
                                                                                                                           7 DAYS
                                                                                         Chicken Wings * Salads
                                                                                       989-724-5000 At the Stoplight in Harrisville

              Hoppe’s Hut
                                       Never a Cover Charge                                                        * Sandwiches, Wraps,           Hours:
                     OPEN MIC every Thursday w/ Dan Wicks from 7pm – 11pm                                          Subs, Dogs & Burgers           Mon-Fri
                     April 3rd: 9 BALL POOL TOURNAMENT for Alzheimer’s                                                * Soups & Salads            9:30am
                                  April 3&17: “Over the Hill Gang”                                                  * Deli Trays & More              to
                              April 15: Repeal Prohibition Party at 7pm                                            Dine in, Take out, Delivery    5:30pm
                     SER VING A FULL MENU
                     Burgers • Pizza • Ribs • Prime Rib
                            Open Daily at 11:00 am
               6449 M-65 S. at Werth Rd, Lachine                    (989) 379-4456

               Rosa’s Lookout Inn
                  3 1/2 miles south of Ossineke
                  6808 U.S. 23 South • Spruce                989-471-2118
               Voted #1 Italian Restaurant - People’s Choice 2009
                                  Huge Menu
                            The Best of Pasta, Steaks,
                                 Seafood & Fish
                                          Cocktails,                                        “Serving Shenanigans Since 1980”
                                         Beer & Wine                                         heated OUTDOOR PATIO
                  Fire                                                                    “thirsty thursday”
                 Pizza                                                                           well liquor
                 Oven                                                                        pucker schnapps $1.50                                   Free WiFi
                   Open Tuesday-Thursday 4-8
                      Friday/Saturday 4-10                                             4709 F-41
                  Sunday 4-8 * Closed Monday                                           Oscoda, Michigan                             (989) 739-5611
now find “the good life press” on facebook                                                                                                 The Good Life - april 2011 • 17

                                                OPEN 7 DAYS A WEEK!                                                                    5184 E. Springport Rd.
                                                 Daily lunch Buffet until 3:30                                                          Harrisville, MI 48740
                                                Dinner buffet Friday to Sunday                                                           (989) 724-5611
                                                      Saturday 4-9 p.m.                     G o l f        Co ur se
                                                       Sunday 4-8 p.m.                        LOGGERS TRACE SPRING SPECIAL
                                                     1237 US 23 North                                 Play four times – 18 Hole w/ cart
                                                     Alpena, MI 49707                                 Receive 5th round w/ cart FREE
                                                                                                              Good April 1 - May 26, 2011
                                                       989-354-7715                          Membership Prices Go to: www.loggerstrace.com • Call for Tee Time

                                                                                            APRIL PIZZA SPECIAL
                                                                                            16” Pizza - 3 Items - $12
                                                                                               Tired of Frozen,
                                                                                             Processed Burgers?
                                                                                                Let Your Taste Buds
                  Family Friendly • Nice Bathrooms
                                                                                               Cast the Vote, Not a 
                                                                                                  on Some Ballot!
                  We’re Cooking till 1:00am Fri. & Sat.
                                 Open Tue. - Sat. at 11am                                    Proclaimed by Those Who Know
                                                                                             as the Best Burgers for 50 Miles

                               APRIL 2, 2011                                                             APRIL 23, 2011
                   Rock and Heavy Metal with                                                Dancing to the Rockin’ ‘70s & ‘80s with

                  “LIQUID COOLED”                                                           “KORNERSTONE”
                                                    Wed/Thur 8am-7:00pm • Fri/Sat 8am-8pm
                                                     Sunday 8am-1pm • Closed Mon & Tues

                                                     “Homemade                              EASTER SPECIAL: All-You-Can-Eat Baked Ham Dinner $9.95
                                                                                                 a’suntry en
                                                    at Its Finest”

             This Year’s New Menu Includes the Following Specials                             MamCo     itch
                                  AVAILABLE DAILY:
              The Best BBQ Beef Brisket Ribs & Pulled Pork in Northeast Michigan,
                                                                                                  Daily -Eat
                                                                                                  ou-C l
                                                                                             All-Y pecia et
                                                                                                  S d Bask
                                                                                                                                                   ly Br ial

                                                                                                                                                     Spec Meat,
              prepared locally by our increasingly famous associate, “Smokin’ Dan”                   Brea e of 2:                                  2 Eg & Coffee
                                                                                                with      ic
                                                                                                      Cho      ,                                        t
                                                                                                                                                   Toas -11am O
                                                                                                 and p, Salad t
              We Now Have Our Cornwall-Style Pasties Every Day                                      Sou Desser
                                                                                                        to,                                       6:30

               From a 19th Century recipe passed from our Calumet ancestors to our
               Great Aunt Carmen who recently passed away at the age of Ninety-Nine

               WEDNESDAY LUNCH SPECIAL Served Noon-4pm
                         Two Pulled Pork Sandwiches & Fries for $5.00
                         DINNER SPECIAL Served 4pm-Close:
                     Homemade Spaghetti and Liv’s Other Italian Specialties
                           THURSDAY IS “CONEY DAY”                                            OTHER EASTER SUNDAY SPECIALS:
                      LUNCH SPECIAL SERVED NOON-4pm
                 DINNER SPECIAL Served 4pm-Close: Chef’s Choice
                                                                                                Baked Swiss Steak Dinner w/ potato $8.95
                                                                                                         Stuffed Pork Chop $8.95
                   FRIDAY FISH FRY Served 4pm-Close                                             Stuffed Cornish Game Hen w/ potato $9.95
                           Fresh Lake Perch Dinner $12.99                                      16 oz. New York Strip Steak w/ potato $14.95
                        NEW THIS YEAR: Walleye Dinner $11.99
                    All-You-Can-Eat Cod Dinner STILL ONLY $9.99                                 Roasted Chicken or Turkey w/ potato $9.95
                                                                                            Above served w/ bread basket & choice of 2 items: soup, salad or dessert
                  SATURDAY IS “CHICKEN POT PIE DAY”                                                       Homemade Soups Every Day
               Our Homemade Chicken Pot Pie Dinner for Only $8.99                                      Sunday-Thursday 6:30am to 8:00pm
                                                                                                         Friday-Saturday 6:30am-9:00pm
                 Friday & Saturday Dinners Include All-You-Can-Eat                                      Daily Lunch and Dinner Specials
                                 Soup & Salad Bar
                                              1770 W. Trask Lake Rd. • Barton City            Bring This Coupon for FREE COFFEE with Purchase of
                                                    (989) 736-6751                             Any Easter Dinner Special (valid Easter Sunday Only)
             Wicked people are always surprised to                                                            Mama’s Country Kitchen – Oscoda, MI
              find ability in those that are good.
18 • The Good Life - april 2011                                thank your advertisers, they supply you with the good life!
   The rural community of Hillman is located in Montmorency County. Hunting, fishing,
golf, camping and snowmobiling make Hillman a great place for any outdoor enthusiast.
Festivals, fairs and other attractions are provided at all times of the year.
   If you haven’t been to Hillman since the completion of our new streetscape, you’re in for
a real treat. The new bridge allows for a visual of the Thunder Bay River and a better view
of the wonderful Brush Creek Mill. If you’re bringing children along, you must visit Tiger
Paw Park, an incredible, well-kept secret at the east end of Progress Street. The beauty of
the lakes in our area is second to none. Come on up or down or over to Hillman and enjoy
the hospitality and warmth of “Up North.”

                                                                                A-1 Woods & Waters                                                   Upcoming
                 989-785-4214                                                      Spring Turkey Season Starts April 18th!                            Events
          Letterheads • Enevlopes                                               Live Bait * Carhartt Clothing*Rifles * Handguns * Ammo * Crossbows
   Business Cards • Brochures • Menus
   History Books • Real Estate Brochures
              and much more...
                                                                                               742-3878 OPEN 7 DAYS                                 Children’s Easter
                                                                                              141 North State St. • Hillman                         Egg Hunt will be
                                                                                Visit Us at www.a1woodsandwaters.com
                                                                                                                                                    held April 23rd at

                                                                                                                                                    The annual
                                                                                                                                                    Blessing of the
                                                                                                                                                    Bikes will host
                                         (877) 937-2328                                                                                             their annual yard
                                                                                                                                                    sale on May 28th.

           First Choice
           Real Estate
                                                          P.O. Box 335
                                                       16670 M-32/M-33
                                                       Atlanta, MI 49709         Hillman Tire
                                                                                 Mufflers • Shocks • Brakes • Alignments
                                                                                                                                                    Join us the third
                                                                                                                                                    Friday every
           ROSELYN “ROSIE” FERGUSON                                                                                                                 month for live
                          Owner/Broker                                                    (989) 742-3002                                            music at the Mill!
      Office         Toll Free                             Fax
  989-785-2808    877-785-2808                       989-785-3194                         24320 VET. MEM. HWY.
                                                                                           HILLMAN, MI 49746
      E-mail: office@firstchoice-realestate.com                                                                                                       Zumba with
         www.firstchoice-realestate.com                                               Mon.-Fri. 8:00 - 5:30 • Sat. 8:00 - 12:00
                                                                                                                                                    Peggy Boldrey
                                                                                                        Great People, Great Products,               will begin
                 Henry F. Herlick D.D.S.                                                                        Great Prices
                         FAMILY DENTISTRY                                                                     Auto • Farm • Fleet
                                                                                                                                                    March 28th at
                                                                                                       Welding Supplies • Cylinder Gasses           the Hillman
                  Office Hours by Appointment                                    AUTO PARTS              Snowmobile & Marine Supplies
 701 N. State St.                                                                                                                                   Community
 P.O. Box 156                                 Accepting                                Fochtman CARQUEST                                            Center. Walking at
 Hillman, MI 49746                              New                                         641 NORTH STATE STREET, HILLMAN
 Phone: 989-742-3161                           Patients                           Hours: Monday - Friday 7:30 - 5:30 • Saturday 8:00 - 3:00         6:00 and Zumba
 www.henryfherlickdds.com                                                               Phone 989-742-4597 • 800-861-5888
                                                                                                                                                    at 6:30. Join us
                                                                                                                                                    Mondays and
   HILLMAN BP                                                                                                                                       Wednesdays. All
                                                                                                                                                    proceeds to benefit
        274000 M-32
                                                                                                                                                    Tiger Paw Park.
        P.O. Box 255                                                                               Soaring above the rest
                                                                                                                                                    $2.00 per session.
    Hillman, MI 49746
   PHONE (989) 742-4313                                                         IndependentBank.com
                                                                                                                                                    The Chamber
                                                                                                                                                    meets at 9:00am:
  A Place for Recovery                                                                                                                              April 12
                              MediLodge Proud
                          • 2010 Sunrise Side’s Best Skilled Nursing Facility
                                                                                                                   Brush Creek                      Hi-Way Inn
                          • 2009 HCAM Facility of the Year                                                            Mill                          May 10
                          • 4-Star Rating – Highest in N.E. Michigan
                          • Free Transportation
                                                                                                                                                    Lickety Splits
  MEDILODGE                                989-742-4581
                                                                                                                      Hillman, MI                   June 14

                                                                                                                                                    Thunder Bay
now find “the good life press” on facebook                                                                                            The Good Life - april 2011 • 19
  NOW IN A NEW LOCATION:                                                A Life Lesson
    Tawas Bay                                                          During my second month
                                                                                                                    Bring this Dress and Get
                                                                                                                  Buy a Prom coupon in for
  Yarn Company
                                                                        of college, our professor

                                                                                                                   $10 OFF
                                                                       gave us a pop quiz. I was                     15% OFF your prom dress
                                                                        a conscientious student                       or a FREE pair of shoes
  Huge Space, More Yarn on Display, Great Knitting Corner,             and had breezed through
                                                                                                                      with your Tuxedo Rental
      Excellent Book, Magazine and Pattern Section                     the questions until I read                        Glitz & Glamour Bridal • Alpena, MI
             COME IN AND HA A PEEK!
                                VE                                             the last one:                 A PAIR OF SHOES
                                                                                                                   Good through April 30, 2011

   Classes  Patterns  Needles                                                                                     and
                                                                                                          With A Prom Dress

                                                                                                                  10% OFF
                                                                       “What is the first name
  Bargains on Closeouts & Discontinued Y      arns                    of the woman who cleans            Purchase, recieve
   The Annex, Open 11am-5pm, Monday thru Saturday                            the school?”                $15.00 off a pair of
                                                                                                        Regular Priced shoes
  1820 E. US 23, East Tawas
                                                                       Surely this was some kind        or $5.00 off a pair of
                                                                                                                  ANY JEWELRY                                          PIECE
  4 miles north of the old location across from
   Dean Arbour Cadillac, next to Timmy Tire                              of joke. I had seen the          clearance shoes
  989-362-4463              Come See Us...
                            We’re Worth
                                                                        cleaning woman several
                                                                                                                  117 South Ripley Blvd. Alpena
                                                                                                                 117 North Ripley Blvd. • • Alpena
                                                                                                             (989) 358-BRIDE (2743)
                                                                                                             (989) 358-BRIDE (2743)
     Mon-Sat 11am-5pm         the Drive!                               times. She was tall, dark-
  Visit us at www.tawasbayyarn.com                                       haired and in her 50’s,
                                                                         but how would I know
                                                                               her name?                    The only reason people get lost in thought is
                                                                                                                  because it’s unfamiliar territory.
                                                                         I handed in my paper,
                                                                       leaving the last question         COLE FOREST PRODUCTS LLC.
    “MICHIGAN’S OLDEST”                                   1939          blank. Just before class
                                                                                                                                         Buying Standing Timber
                                                                      ended, one student asked                                                       5 Acres or More
 MILD, AGED, & FANCY CHEESES                                          if the last question would                                                      Top Price Paid
 Game Meat Sticks * Game Jerky                                          count toward our quiz                                         Call for FREE QUOTES on
 Liquor * Fine Wines                                                             grade.                                          Management Cuts to Improve Your
 T-Shirts & Souvenirs                                                                                                            Land and Promote Better Re-growth
 Gift Boxes                                                              “Absolutely,“ said the                                   Also Selling Firewood - 8 ft. Lengths
                                                                           professor. “In your
 Cheese & Meat Trays Made to Order                                       careers, you will meet                                    SCOTT COLE (989) 335-0755
 Mail Orders                                                              many people. All are
 OPEN 7 DAYS A WEEK                                                    significant. They deserve         My mother and I returned to my parents’ house
 M-13, PINCONNING                                                      your attention and care,        late one evening to find my father, my college-age
                                                                       even if all you do is smile       brother, Steven, and my ten-year-old sister fast
                                                                            and say ‘hello.’”                                asleep.
 Order Online www.wilsoncheese.com
                                                                       I’ve never forgotten that       Mom had forgotten her house keys, so we knocked
                                                                       lesson.. I also learned her     loudly, first at the back door and then the front and
A husband and wife were driving down a country lane on their
 way to visit some friends. They came to a muddy patch in the             name was Dorothy.             side doors. We yelled my father’s name over and
 road and the car became bogged. After a few minutes of try-                                             over, with no answer. The car horn aroused the
ing to get the car out by themselves, they saw a young farmer                                           neighbors but no one at our house. We drove into
     coming down the lane, driving some oxen before him.                                                 town and phoned home, finally waking Steven.
                                                                       Murphy’s First Law
  The farmer stopped when he saw the couple in trouble and
  offered to pull the car out of the mud for $50. The husband           for Wives: If you               When we got back, he let us in. Dad was in bed,
accepted and minutes later the car was free. The farmer turned          ask your husband                snoring, with the television
 to the husband and said, “You know, you’re the tenth car I’ve            to pick up five               on. Mom quietly switched it
                  helped out of the mud today.”                        items at the store                 off. Dad woke right up.
The husband looks around at the fields incredulously and asks            and then you add
 the farmer, “When do you have time to plough your land? At              one more as an                “Don’t turn that off,” he said.
                          night?”                                       afterthought, he                    “I’m watching it!”
                                                                       will forget two of
 “No,” the young farmer replied seriously, “Night is when I put
                                                                          the first five.
                    the water in the hole.”

                                              There were two men shipwrecked on this island. The
                                              minute they got on to the island one of them started
                                               screaming and yelling, “We’re going to die! We’re
                                               going to die! There’s no food! No water! We’re go-
                                                                   ing to die!”

                                                  The second man was propped up against a palm tree
                                                   and acting so calmly it drove the first man crazy.
                                                    “Don’t you understand?!? We’re going to die!!”
                                                                                                          All of us share the basic desire to express our individuality, our feelings
                                                   The second man replied, “You don’t understand, I      and emotions - to stand out from the crowd. Inspired by Nature, we have
                                                                                                           captured the essence of this spirit with the launch of our new line of
                                                              make $100,000 a week.”                                 sterling silver interchangeable jewelry – Kameleon.
                                                                                                            Kameleon’s base jewelry designs include rings, earrings, pendants,
                                              The first man looked at him quite dumbfounded and          bracelets, necklaces and pins. They feature natural, flowing lines that are all
                                                                                                         carefully crafted in sterling silver to accept small, interchangeable inserts
                                              asked, “What difference does that make?!? We’re on                                       called JewelPops.
                                              an island with no food and no water! We’re going to
                                                                                                         5226 North US-23          219 Newman St.
                                                                    DIE!!!”                                 Oscoda, MI              East Tawas, MI
                                                                                                           739-1341                  362-3674
                                                   The second man answered, “You just don’t get it.               302 West Houghton Ave.
                                                                                                                      West Branch, MI
                                                   I make $100,000 a week and I tithe ten percent on                    345-5710
                                                     that $100,000 a week. My pastor will find me!”                           www.branhamsjewelry.com
20 • The Good Life - april 2011                                                                              thank your advertisers, they supply you with the good life!
                                                Custom Cakes and
                                               Homemade Candy &
                                                 Delicious Sweets                           Four married guys go
                created by Carrie Collins                                                 golfing on Sunday. During
                                                                                          the 3rd hole the following                      Unique Sterling Silver Jewelry
  212 North Second Avenue, Alpena                                                           conversation ensued:
         (989) 356-1913
      cake_walk@email.com                                                                First Guy: “Man, you have                   NOW IN EAST TAWAS
                                                                                        no idea what I had to do to be
                                                                                        able to come out golfing this               Amber, Dichroic, Fordite, Fossils, Larimar,
 ALLEN TIRE & AUTO                                                                       weekend. I had to promise                 Opalite, Pearls, Turquoise & Much More!
                                                                                          my wife that I will paint
     COMING APRIL 4th: Cooper S/T Maxx                                                  every room in the house next               CHAMILIA Beads, Bracelets & Earrings
                    (Replacing the Cooper ST-C and selected sizes                                weekend.”
                                 of the Discoverer ST)
                  Improved Ride and Durability • 3-Ply “Armor Tek 3”                   Second Guy: “That’s nothing,
                                                                                                                                     Treat Yourself – You Deserve It!
                       Mon-Fri 8am-5pm, Sat by Appointment, Closed Sunday              I had to promise my wife that              115 Newman Street, East Tawas • 989-305-6465
                                                                                       I will build her a new deck for
                           (989) 739-2039                      5115 N. US 23
                                                                                                  the pool.”
 Mike Allen, Owner                                                 Michigan
                                                                                         Third Guy: “Man, you both                        Children Are So Sweet
                                                                                        have it easy! I had to promise         The children had all been photographed,
                                                                                         my wife that I will remodel
                                                                                            the kitchen for her.”               and the teacher was trying to persuade
                                                                                                                                 them each to buy a copy of the group
                                                                                           They continue to play the             picture. “Just think how nice it will
                                                                                         hole when they realized that
                                                                                         the fourth guy has not said a
                                                                                                                                be to look at it when you are all grown
                                                                                         word. So they ask him. “You              up and say, ‘There’s Jennifer; she’s
  Myles Insurance Agency, Inc.                                                           haven’t said anything about              a lawyer,’ or ‘That’s Michael, he’s a
      624 West Lake (US-23), Tawas City, MI 48764                                       what you had to do to be able                            doctor.’”
                                                                                        to come golfing this weekend.
                       989-362-3425                                                            What’s the deal?”
                                                                                                                                                                A small voice from the
 One nice thing about narcissists:                                                      Fourth Guy: “I don’t want to                                          back of the room rang out,
                                                                                       talk about it. Let’s just say that                                      “And there’s the teacher;
   they don’t talk about other                                                           the foundation for the new
                                                                                                                                                                I just visited her at the
                                                                                         house is being poured next
                                                                                                  Tuesday.”                                                      cemetery last week.”


                                                                                                             40’ SUBDIVISION ACCESS TO LAKE HURON                      WELL MAINTAINED RANCH
                                                                                                                  Large lot 90x207 with 2 storage sheds            3 BD, 2 BA home in Lakewood Shores
                                                                                                              2 bedroom, 1bath, family rm, living rm, office             Many updates plus extra lot
                                                                                                               Attached garage; Sunporch; Close to town                    2 car attached garage
                                                                                                                            10-0008g $55,000                                10-0028g $99,900
           VILLAGES OF OSCODA                                        GREAT LOCATION
        3 bedroom townhouse, 1.5 BA                           3 bedroom, 11/2 bath Ranch w/bsmt
        Nice lot with park like back yard                       120 x 150 lot with storage shed
             Newer vinyl windows                                   Two fireplaces,Vinyl sided
              10-0043g $39,900                                        10-0035g $79,900

                                                                                                                       VILLAGES OF OSCODA                               BREWSTER PARK SUB
             PRICED TO SELL                                          GOLF COURSE VILLA                             3 bedroom townhouse, 2.5 baths                  4 bedrooms, 2 bath quad level home
             3 bedrooms, 1 bath                                     Two bedroom, remodeled                          Lrg master bedroom, central air                     Family room with fireplace
      Manufactured home / many updates                  Four golf courses Serradella, Blackshire, Gailes..     finished bsmt, covered deck, 2 car garage                Lake access, landscaped lot
        Fenced yard with storage shed                             Lakewood Shores amenities                               10-0065g $69,900                                07-0090g $129,900
             10-0044g $28,000                                          10-0053g $94,900

           CEDAR LAKE ACCESS                                     NEAR AuSABLE RIVER                                   REDUCED and MOTIVATED                              CEDAR LAKE ACCESS
           2 Bedroom; 1 car garage                                 3 bedroom, 1.5 bath                                 3 bedroom, 2 bath, Bi-level                       2 bedroom, 1 bath home
         Open living area; Greenbush                              Located near state land                          Short walk from downtown Oscoda                           Updated kitchen
        Sandy bottom access across st.                     Many updates in the manufactured home                   Liv rm, Fam rm, Move-in condition                     1.5 car detached garage
             10-0030g $49,900                                       08-0005g $54,900                                       10-0001g $72,000                                 09-0082g $44,900
now find “the good life press” on facebook                                                                                       The Good Life - april 2011 • 21

 Heavenly Scents & Gifts
   Locally-Made Hand-Poured NATURAL Candles
           Gift Baskets for All Occasions
   Floral Arrangements, Purses, Jewelry & MORE
                                                                                                 JUMP INTO SPRING SPECIAL
    Wedding Centerpieces & RENTAL Available                                                       20% Off All Computers
                                                                                                                    Offer good through 5/30/2011
                                                                                                   Paul R. Wieske – Owner • e-mail: prwieske@micr-ro-.net
                                                              Answers on page 43                          2577 US 23 South, Alpena • 989.340.0900
                                                              1. “Hey Janelle, what’s
   After Hours Grand Opening                                 wrong with Wolfie? I can
                                                                hear him barking.”
           APRIL 13, 2011, 6-8PM
    Door Prizes of Purses, Candles & More                     2. “Men under strain can
           Great In-Store Specials                          snap. Hurt themselves. Hurt
     Monday-Friday 9:30am to 6:00pm                          others. That’s why our job
      Saturday 10:00am to 5:00pm                            is talking, not yelling. You’ll      THINK SPRING: $100 OFF Insurance Deductible
  111 Dwight Street, Oscoda – Next to Tait’s Bill of Fare     do better to think of this
                                                             place like an intensive care                                                         Insurance Work – Guaranteed
                                                                                                                                                    Tintable Spray-in Bed Liners
                                                                 ward in a hospital.”                                                                    Auto Glass-Stone Chips

 FREE                       ESTIMATES
                                                                                                                                                       Twenty Years Experience
                                                                3. “Look. He wouldn’t

                                                               even talk to me unless I
                                                             had a drink with him. And
                                                             then, it took three shots of

  SAVE $40 TO $130                                            something called ‘tequila’
                                                            just to find out that HE was
                PER WINDOW                                  the one we’re looking for!”
   *Free HR4 Energy Package when ordered                     4. “With enough courage,
               by April 26, 2011.                               you can do without a                       Snow Plowing and Roof Snow Removal

    SUNROOMS • SIDING                                       5. “Everyone has somebody
                                                                that they want to put
  PATIO ROOFS • SUNSETTER                                      out of the way. Oh now          Sometimes it’s worse to win a fight than to lose.
                                                             surely, Madam, you’re not

                                                            going to tell me that there
                                                            hasn’t been a time that you

    427 N. US-23, OSCODA
                                                              didn’t want to dispose of
                                                              someone. Your husband,
                                                                    for instance?”              • Rolls open in seconds                   Professional
                                                                                                • Lifetime Warranty                      Installation of
                                                                                                                                      Stripes & Graphics

         WORD SEARCH
                                                                                                • Increases gas mileage
                                                             6. “I have to believe in a         • Keeps box free of leaves and snow
                                                              world outside my own              • Free installation thru April with mention
                                                                                                   of this ad
          “Spring Is in the Air!”                             mind. I have to believe
                                                             that my actions still have
                                                              meaning, even if I can’t                                                                           See This and Many
                                                                                                                                                                  More Aftermarket
                                                            remember them. I have to                                                                             Truck Accessories
                                                            believe that when my eyes
                                                            are closed, the world’s still
                                                                      there.”                    Concert Connection
                                                                                                    Smoking Accessories
                                                            Horses & Chickens                      Body Piercings by Leah
                                                                                                   Rock T-Shirts & More!
                                                            A retiring farmer in preparation
                                                              for selling his land, needed       (989) 356-4900    113 River Street
                                                             to rid his farm of animals. So
                                                             he went to every house in his      Hours: Noon-6:30pm, Mon-Sat                           Alpena, MI 49707

                                                             To the houses where the man
                                                            is the boss, he gave a horse. To
                                                             the houses where the woman
                                                                is the boss, a chicken was
                                                                                                   “THE MAD AS A HATTER SALE”
                                                                          given.                  25% Off Entire Inventory of Adult
                                                              He got toward the end of             Products All Month Long
                                                                                                                                111 River Street
                                                             the street and saw a couple
                                                            outside gardening. “Who’s the         (989) 358-2045        Alpena, Michigan 49707
     ALLERGIES                               LILIES         boss around here?” he asked.                Hours: Noon-6:30pm, Mon thru Sat.
        APRIL                               MARCH
     BASEBALL                                                    “I am.” said the man.
        BEES                             NEW LEAVES
     CROCUSES                                                 “I have a black horse and a
                                       PLANTING RAIN
    CYCLAMENS                                               brown horse,” the farmer said,
                                                             “which one would you like?”                             Salon & Tanning
    DANDELIONS                                                                                                 GIFT CERTIFICATES AVAILABLE
      EASTER                                                The man thought for a minute

      EQUINOX                             SNOWMELT
                                                                                                                               ONE MONTH
                                                              and said, “The black one.”
  FLOWERS FROGS                           SOFTBALL
                                        SPRING BREAK
       GRASS                          SPRING CLEANING
                                                              “No, no, no, get the brown
                                                               one.” the man’s wife said.                                   UNLIMITED TANNING
       GREEN                                TULIPS
                                                            “Here’s your chicken.” said the     989.356.0918                              424 N. 2nd Ave, Alpena, MI 49707
22 • The Good Life - april 2011                                                                                                                      find us online supply you with the good life!
                                                                                                                                        thank your advertisers, theyat www.thegoodlifepress.com
                         MIX & MATCH

                                                                                                                                   1      2    3        4                         5        6       7        8
                      6-PK WINE COOLERS
                                                                                                                                   9                                     10
                          LIQUOR • LOTTO
                                                                                                                                   11                            12               13                                 14
                       COLD BEER • GROCERIES

                                                                                                             Solution on page 40

                         Fountain Pop • Sandwiches                                                                                 17          18                                                  19                20
                            Snacks • Smoothies
                           Coffee & Cappuccino                                                                                                 21       22                                 23
 4199 Werth Rd.                               Propane                989-354-4798
 Alpena, MI 49707                            Exchange                Locally Owned and Operated
                                                                                                                                   24     25                                      26                        27

medical marijuana                                                                                                                         28                                               29
                                                                                                                                   30                                             31

                                                                                                                    ACROSS                                                                 DOWN
                                                                                                               1. Containing soap                                                    1. Roofing stone
                                                                                                                   5. Garment                                                           2. Petroleum
                                                                                                                9. Capital of Peru                                            3. Male or female given name
                                                                                                              10. Capital of Egypt                                         4. One of the divisions of a window
                                                                                                                   11. Isolated                                                 5. Bag hung from a saddle
                                                                                                                                                                                           6. Rent
                                                                                                      13. Appliance that removes moisture
                                                                                                                                                                                 7. Inhabitants of Ireland
                                                                                                                    15. Dwells                                                          8. Fish eggs
                                                                                                                   16. Refuge                                                       12. Moving stairway
                                                                                                                21. Act of leaking                                                     14. Steal from
                                                     Call for more info                                     24. Pole for walking on                                                 17. Affirmative reply
                                                      & appointments                                           26. Feed on grass                                                      18. Hard stone
             MICHIGAN                                                                                           28. Pungent bulb                                                         19. Depart
             MEDICAL                          989-525-5700                                                    29. Baking chamber                                                        20. Incident
             MARIJUANA                    Email: michigan.marijuana.license@gmail.com
                                                                                                                   30. Go into                                                22. Hebrew male given name
                                                                                                                    31. Chirp                                                       23. Increase in size
                                                                                                                                                                                     25. Unit of weight
 At work, I’ve got the ear of my boss.                                                                                                                                                  27. Letter Z
I’m still not convinced we should pay
                                                                                                      There was a case in one
               the ransom.                                                                            hospital’s Intensive Care
                                                                                                    ward where patients always
                                                                                                     died in the same bed, on                         Serving Northeast Michigan
                                                                                                     Sunday morning, at about
                                                                                                    11 a.m., regardless of their                          SPECIALIZING IN
                           Downtown Hubbard Lake                                                         medical condition.                             SEAMLESS GUTTERS
                                    Live Bait, Minnows,                                                                                                 and All Your Building and
                             Crawlers & Leeches, Fishing Tackle,                                   This puzzled the doctors and
                                Knives, Sports Items, Gifts,                                        some even thought that it                             Remodeling Needs
                               Hunting Supplies, T’s & Sweats,                                      had something to do with
                                  and All Fishing Supplies                                                                                               Phone (989) 471-8051
                                                                                                     the supernatural. No one                             Cell (989) 916-5454                      Licensed • Insured
                                         Propane Fill & Exchange                                   could solve the mystery... as
                                           (989) 727-2700                                          to why the deaths occurred
                                                                                                   around 11 a.m. on Sundays.
                                Next to The Nor th End Restaurant
                                                                                                      So a World-Wide team of
                                                                                                      experts was assembled to
                                                                                                    investigate the cause of the
                                                                                                     incidents. The next Sunday
                                                                                                       morning, a few minutes
    (Tim)                                                                                             before 11 a.m., all doctors
                                                                                                      and nurses nervously wait
                                                                                                     outside the ward to see for
     209 S. State, Oscoda, MI 48750                              (989) 739-5000                    themselves what the terrible
     * FREE Road Test           * FREE Hoist Check                                                  phenomenon was all about.
     * American–Foreign         * All Trucks/4x4s                                                  Some were holding wooden
     * Motor Homes              * Automatic–Manual                                                    crosses, prayer books and
                * Axles, Clutches & Flywheels                                                         other holy objects to ward
                                                                                                          off the evil spirits.

                                                                                                    Just when the clock struck
   Honor and Cherish                                                                                 11... Pookie Johnson, the
                                                                                                                                                   A man walks into a bar has a few drinks and asks what his tab was. The
                                                                                                                                                    bartender replies that it is twenty dollars plus tip. The guy says, “I’ll
    You are about to set the stage for the most                                                     part-time Sunday sweeper,
             important day of your life!                                                                                                           bet you my tab double or nothing that I can bite my eye.” The bartend-
    We will officiate at your wedding, no matter
                                                                                                      entered the ward and
    where or when you choose, whether on our                                                        unplugged the life support                        er accepts the bet, and the guy pulls out his glass eye and bites it.
     lovely beaches, at one of several inns, or
  restaurants, near the light house, even in your
                                                                                                   system so that he could use
                     own home.                                                                         the vacuum cleaner.                           He has a few more drinks and asks for his bill again. The bartender
                                       Patty & Dennis Turbin                                                                                       reports that his bill now is thirty dollars plus tip. He bets the bartender
                                            P.O. Box 205                                                                                           he can bite his other eye. The bartender accepts knowing the man can’t
                                         Oscoda MI 48750
                                           989-859-7343                                                                                                                   possibly have two glass eyes.
   Member Oscoda Chamber of Commerce   honorandcherish@charter.net
                                                                                                                                                   The guy then proceeds to take out his false teeth and bite his other eye.
now find “the good life press” on facebook                                                                                                          The Good Life - april 2011 • 23

                                                           Iosco & Alcona County – Find Out How Much Your
                                                                 Lake Front Home Is Worth For FREE!
1. Of course I look familiar. I was here just      If you’re going to sell your Lake Front Home in the next 6 to 12 months, what you do
  last week cleaning your carpets, paint-
 ing your shutters, or delivering your new           right now to prepare for the sale could make a difference of thousands of dollars.
                refrigerator.                    · Get a Free Report on How to Sell Your Home for the Most Money in the Shortest Possible Time.
                                                 · Get a FREE list of the homes that are for sale or sold in your neighborhood the last 12 months.
2. Hey, thanks for letting me use the bath-
room when I was working in your yard last                      Just call (989) 820-8500 to receive your FREE report.
  week. While I was in there, I unlatched

                                                 The New Way of Buying & Selling Homes
the back window to make my return a little

 3. Love those flowers. That tells me you
 have taste... and taste means there are
 nice things inside. Those yard toys your
 kids leave out always make me wonder
                                                                          New – But Old As Time Itself
 what type of gaming system they have.                           FEATURED HOMES
   4. Yes, I really do look for newspapers
   piled up on the driveway. And I might
leave a pizza flyer in your front door to see
    how long it takes you to remove it..

5. If it snows while you’re out of town, get                                      Cedar Lake, Greenbush.
                                                                                                                  Lake Huron Condo. This
                                                Lovely 3 bedroom 2 bath
  a neighbor to create car and foot tracks      Close to Harrisville Marine.      4 bedroom, 2 bath, 2 story      Condo is only $19,000 but
                                                                                  with full unfinished basement.
 into the house.. Virgin drifts in the drive-   Home owner has almost
                                                completely    remolded     this   One the Best deals on Ce-
                                                                                                                  the view out your window
          way are a dead giveaway.              whole home. Selling well below    dar Lake. Thtey don’t build
                                                                                  Homes like this anymore.
                                                                                                                  is worth a Million Dollars!
                                                what he has into it.
                                                $79,900 #110015JGL                $160,000 #100013JGL             $19,000 # 100021JGL
6. If decorative glass is part of your front
 entrance, don’t let your alarm company
install the control pad where I can see if
                                                  Oscoda Senior Condominiums
                                                                                                           Private Seller is offering $10,000
      it’s set. That makes it too easy.                                                                     discount on Condo – One of the
                                                                                                           Nicest Condos in the Whole place
  7. A good security company alarms the
window over the sink. And the windows on
 the second floor, which often access the
                                                                                                                                                (989) 820-8500
 master bedroom - and your jewelry. It’s
not a bad idea to put motion detectors up
                there too.                                                                                   2 Bedroom 2 Bath – Great           JEFF LAYMAN
                                                  You’ll Love the Wonderful Amenities
                                                                                                                View out Windows                Senior Real Estate Consultant
 8. It’s raining, you’re fumbling with your
  umbrella, and you forget to lock your                                                                                                            jefflayman@live.com
  door - understandable. But understand
this: I don’t take a day off because of bad
                   weather.                                                                                                                     Specializing in Lake Front
 9. I always knock first. If you answer, I’ll
                                                                                                                                                 Homes & Senior Condo
 ask for directions somewhere or offer to           Developer is offering a Veteran Special – If a veteran or a                                      Developments
 clean your gutters. (Don’t take me up on         family member of veteran purchases a condo, Seller will pay                                        If you would like any more
                     it.)                            associations dues for ONE YEAR from date of purchase.                                         information about the Condos
                                                   1 Bed 1 Bath Traditional Condo $49,000                  The Rose & Jeff Show                   or would like to schedule a tour
10. Do you really think I won’t look in your
                                                                                                                                                  please call (989) 820-8500 and
sock drawer? I always check dresser draw-          1 Bed1 Bath Log Cabin Condo $59,000                                                                 ask for Rose Kuhlman or
 ers, the bedside table, and the medicine
                  cabinet.                         2 Bed 1 Bath Traditional Condo $66,000                                                             Jeff Layman or visit us at:
                                                   2 Bed 2 Bath Traditional Condo $74,000                                                                          335 S. State St.
11. Here’s a helpful hint: I almost never go                                                                                                                      Oscoda, MI. 48750
              into kids’ rooms.                 Luxury Condo custom design this one $89,000

12. You’re right: I won’t have enough time        Buy a Lovely Lake Front Home with ZERO Down Payment!
  to break into that safe where you keep
your valuables. But if it’s not bolted down,
                                                   Special Government Loans available for Lake Huron, Van Etten Lake,
             I’ll take it with me.                              Cedar Lake, and Au Sable River Homes.
                                                 Bonus – Receive a FREE copy of: The 10 Dumbest Mistakes Smart People
   13. A loud TV or radio can be a better            Make When Buying or Selling a Home –and How to Avoid Them
 deterrent than the best alarm system. If
 you’re reluctant to leave your TV on while        Call (989)820-8500 to receive FREE reports or for more Info.
   you’re out of town, you can buy a $35
device that works on a timer and simulates
   the flickering glow of a real television.             Executive ability is deciding quickly and getting somebody else to do the work
    (Find it at http://www.faketv/.com/)

                                    Trail-Rated Jeeps at Rock-Bottom Prices

   2007 JEEP LIBERTY 4x4 sport. 26,000 actual                2008 JEEP LIBERTY sport. 27,000 miles, 4x4,                                 2008 JEEP COMMANDER sport. 4x4, 30,000
        miles, new tires, warranty included.                                 warranty.                                                            miles, warranty included.
        Was $17,995 SALE $14,995                                  Was $19,995 SALE $17,995                                                    Was $21,995 SALE $19,495

                                                                                                                                                989) 739-3261
24 • The Good Life - april 2011                                       thank your advertisers, they supply you with the good life!
                                                                                   One, Two, Three
  Welcome Birders!                                                 A man and woman where on their honeymoon after a long and very happy court-
                                                                   ship. On their honeymoon, they decide to take their horses through the beautiful

        Bay Inn
                                                                   mountain passes of Europe. As the horses were crossing a small stream, the
                                                                   woman’s horse mis-steps and jostles the man’s wife. Once across the stream,
                                                                   the man dismounts, walks over to the horse, and stares into its eyes. Finally, he
                                                                   states, “That’s one.” The man remounts his horse and they continue their ride.

   Early Bird Special                                              A bit further down the path, the woman’s horse stumbles when stepping over a
                                                                   fallen tree. The man dismounts, stares the horse in the eyes, and boldly states,

                                                                   “That’s two!” He returns to his saddle and they move on.

                                                                   As the afternoon sun began to set, the woman’s horse once again lost its footing
                                    + tax                          on a mossy slope. The man dismounts, moves to the woman’s horse, and helps
                                                                   his wife out of the saddle. Moving to the front of the horse, the man stares it
   Any Standard Room*                                              in the eyes and firmly says, “That’s three,” removes a pistol from his vest, and
                                                                   shoots the horse dead.

                         During the                                The woman, quite upset at seeing the beautiful horse killed, says to her husband,
                                                                   “That’s terrible! Are you crazy?!? Why would you do such a thing?!?”
     Tawas Point Birding Festival &                                The man stares at his wife and firmly says, “That’s one.”
  Michigan Audubon Annual Conference

                             May 12-15, 2011                        An old man of ninety was sitting on a park bench crying. A
                                                                    policeman noticed this and asked him why he was crying.
                            2011 Bird of the Year                  “Well,” says the old fellow, “I just got married to a twenty-five
                             is the Blackburnian                    year old woman. Every morning she makes me a wonderful
                                                                     breakfast, and we have then have fun together laughing
                                   Warbler                           and relaxing. In the afternoon she makes me a wonderful
                                                                   lunch and then we make fun together laughing and relaxing
                              *Special rates cannot be used with
                                     any other discounts           again. At dinner time she makes me a wonderful supper and
                                                                             then we relax more and enjoy ourselves.”

     1020 N. Lake St.                                              The policeman looks at the old man and says, “You shouldn’t
      Tawas City, MI                                                 be crying! You should be the happiest man in the world!”

   989-362-0088                                                       So the old man says, “I know! I’m crying because I don’t
                                                                                     remember where I live!”
now find “the good life press” on facebook                                                                                                                               The Good Life - april 2011 • 25

                                                                                          THE GOOD LIFE - SECTION 2
                                                                                                                          Personal Alcohol
                                                                                                                           Breath Tester
                                                                                                                                              Tobacco & Cigar Shoppe
                                                                                                                              Keychain               www.HolySmokesCigar.com
                                                                                                                            Now In Stock
                                                                                                                               $10.99                 989-362-2332
                                                                                                                                              COUPON - 10% OFF
                                                                                                                                                All Roll-Your-Own Tobacco
                                                                                                                                              Holy Smokes, East Tawas – Good through 4/30/11               TGL

                              718 E. Bay (US-23), East Tawas • Inside Bay Party Store
                                                                                                               Three retirees, each with a
Light travels faster than sound.                                                                               hearing loss, were taking a
 This is why some people appear                                                                                 walk one fine March day.
bright until you hear them speak.                                                                              One remarked to the other,
                                                                                                                    “Windy, ain’t it?”
                                                                                                                  “No,” the second man
     Vehicle     $
                                                                              39                    95           replied, “It’s Thursday.”

 Checkup Special                                                                                     WITH
                                                                                                                And the third man chimed
                                                                                                                in, “So am I. Let’s have a
       Oil change, Four-Tire Rotation,                                                                                    coke.”
      and 27-Point Vehicle Inspection.
      Includes: Lube, oil & filter change; Rotate tires; Check belts & hoses;
       Test battery; Check air filter & cabin air filter; Inspect brake system;                                     An elderly woman from
        Courtesy car wash. Up to 6 quarts oil. Diesel and synthetic extra.                                          Brooklyn decided to
                                   Taxes & disposal fee extra.
      GM Vehicles Only. Cannot be used in combination with other coupons and discounts. Expires 4/30/11.
                                                                                                                prepare her will and make
                                                                                                                  her final requests. She
                                                                                                                told her rabbi she had two

     60                 00 Mail-In Rebate                                                                        final requests. First, she
                                                                                                                  wanted to be cremated,
                                         with the purchase of 4 eligible tires                                   and second, she wanted
                                                                                                                 her ashes scattered over
                                April 1 - May 31, 2011                                                                Bloomingdales.
                           See Service Advisor for details.
                We service all GM makes and models                                                                 “Bloomingdales!” the
                                                                                                                  rabbi exclaimed. “Why

 dean arbour                                       CHEVROLET &                                   Certified            Bloomingdales?”
                                                    CADILLAC                                     Service
                                                                     Phone (989) 362-3403
                                                                                                                  “Then I’ll be sure my
 1859 N. US-23 • East Tawas
 www.deanarbour.com                                                      (866) GET DEAN                         daughters visit me twice a

                                                                                                  MEMBERSHIP                     Join The Club!!!
                                                                                                    DUES:                        Physical Fitness in the Oscoda Area Just Got
                                                                                                                                 Moved to the Top of the Priority List!
                                                                                                           INDIVIDUAL:           OWNERSHIP of the local fitness center, Huron Sports of Oscoda,
                                                                                                            Day Pass             changed hands on February 16th, 2011. Longtime local businessman,
                                                                                                                                 George J. Morse, or Coach Morse as he’s known by many, purchased the
                                                                                                               $7.00             fitness center and has already begun to make some welcome changes.
                                                                                                           Weekly Pass           The name has been changed to “Michigan Fit Club” and members have
                                                                                                                                 been given 24 hour access to the gym. The Club Manager and Personal
                           New Name                                                                           $15.00             Trainer, Ray DeGrendel, is to stay on and receive expanded administrative
                                                                                                           One Month             responsibility, which includes leading a team of five additional staff
                                                                                                                                 members who have been added to the payroll in an effort to increase
                                                                                                              $50.00             member services.
                                                                                                            Six Month                “We’re helping members with their workouts more, cleaning more,
                                                                                                                                 providing complimentary services like towels and group circuit training,
                                                                                                             $200.00             plus letting them get in the gym based on their schedule with key-card
                                                                                                            One Year             access 24/7. So, more attention to members, increased access to the
                                                                                                             $300.00             workout facility, and a renewed enthusiasm for setting and achieving goals;
                                                                                                                                 that’s what members can expect from Team Fit Club,” said Morse.
                                                                                                                                     You might think that with all those increased services there would be
                                                                                                            FAMILY:              some big increases in the cost, but you’d be wrong. Morse has done just the
                                                                                                                                 opposite. He’s actually lowered prices, giving the best discounts on paid-
                               New Look                                                            6-Month/2-Person              in-full, single and family annual memberships. “I wanted to make it more
                                                                                                        $275.00                  affordable for individuals and families to have access to good equipment
                                                                                                                                 and the expert advice they need so they can get healthy and stay that way,”
                                                                                                     Each additional             Morse said. “If we can get enough people to join, I think we can keep the
                                                                                                     family member               cost down for everyone.”
                                                                                                                                     In addition to being the Founder and President of Michigan Fit Club,
                                                                                                         $75.00                  Inc., George J. Morse is President and CEO of Morse & Associates, Inc.,
                                                                                                                                 a Small Business Coach and Founder of CoachMorse.com, the author
                                                                                                      1-Year/2-Person            of “Take Charge – Get Results,” a multi-unit franchise owner (Subway
                                                                                                          $400.00                brand, 5 locations), the creator of A Thousand Miles for Michigan, and the
                                                                                                       Each additional           founder of the Success for Life Institute. He moved to Oscoda in 1993 to
                                                                                                                                 open the Subway with his wife, Andrea.
                                                                                                       family member                 “This is a wonderful place to live, work and raise a family. There have
                                                                                                          $100.00                been challenges throughout the years, as there are with any place, but I feel
                       Happy Members                                                                                             truly blessed to be a part of this community.”

   mifitclub.com                                                                         119 E Dwight St., Oscoda                                                      (989) 739-0464
26 • The Good Life - april 2011                                                                                   thank your advertisers, they supply you with the good life!

  BODY LANGUAGE SPA                                                                                                            Northern Michigan Indoor Garden Supply
      “The Art of Anti-aging”                                                                                                    FOR ALL YOUR INDOOR GROWING NEEDS
      Ion Magnum and Perfector                                                                  1. Sometimes, I carry a
   With the Ion Magnum, lose up to 3 inches or more on the                                      clipboard. Sometimes, I                                    10130B Walter St.
       first treatments at the waistline and build muscle                                     dress like a lawn guy and                                       Alpena, MI
   “PERFECTOR” - NANO FACIAL REJUVENATION:                                                    carry a rake. I do my best
  Sculpts the face and lifts the neck, lifts jowls and eyebrows,
                                                                                               to never, ever look like a                                                   989-464-0627
         reduces and eliminates fine lines and wrinkles

        Hot Rock, Deep Tissue, Swedish                                                        2. The two things I hate                                                                    Welcoming New
                                                                                              most: loud dogs and nosy                                                                     Faces to MJ’s,
      & Sport Medical Massages Available
                                                                                                      neighbors.                                                                          Linda Langley &
  Free Consultations • Gift Certificates Available                                                                                                                                        Corrine Campos
                                                                                                3. I’ll break a window to
  989-305-6333 • 989-245-5112                                                                   get in, even if it makes a                                                                 Kick Off Your
    1175 W. Lake St., Tawas City                                                             little noise. If your neighbor                MELISSA JANE GARY                              Boots and Shine
  www.bodylanguagespatawas.com                                                                hears one loud sound, he’ll                                                                 Up Your Toes...
                                                                                               stop what he’s doing and                  403 NORTH STATE STREET
                                                                                                                                         OSCODA, MICHIGAN 48750                           Spring Cleanup
                                                                                              wait to hear it again. If he                    (989) 739-8559                                Continues!
                                                                                               doesn’t hear it again, he’ll
                            The Sands Resort                                                 just go back to what he was
                                          on Hubbard Lake                                      doing. It’s human nature.
                             We offer cozy 2 bedroom, 1 bath, cottage rentals or a main
                             house with 4 bedrooms and 2 baths, all with lake views on       4. I’m not complaining, but
                            the largest inland lake in Northeast Michigan. Perfect for the
                                                                                             why would you pay all that
                                     swimming, boating, and fishing enthusiasts.
                SPRING SPECIALS:                                                              money for a fancy alarm                                        Mig-Tig Cast • Aluminum
 APRIL, MAY: $550 PER WEEK, JUNE: $650 PER WEEK                                                 system and leave your                                          Custom Fabrication
                                                                                              house without setting it?
  Diane - Manager 239-494-0385                                                                                                                                       PORTABLE SERVICE
www.HubbardLakeRentals.com (810) 423-7884                                                      5. I love looking in your                                              4706 M 65, Hale
                                                                                               windows. I’m looking for
                                                                                                signs that you’re home,
                                                                                                                                                              (989) 728-5173
                                                                                              and for flat screen TVs or
                                                                                               gaming systems I’d like.        Lawyer: “Judge, I wish to appeal my client’s case on
I had a dream the other night. I was in the old West                                           I’ll drive or walk through          the basis of newly discovered evidence.”
   riding in a stagecoach. Suddenly, a man riding a                                          your neighborhood at night,
  horse pulls up to the left side of the stagecoach,                                         before you close the blinds,           Judge: “And what is the nature of the new
      and a riderless horse pulls up on the right.                                              just to pick my targets.                          evidence?”
   The man leans down, pulls open the door, and                                               6. Avoid announcing your
  jumps off his horse into the stagecoach. Then he                                           vacation on your Facebook
                                                                                                                               Lawyer: “Judge, I discovered that my client still has
  opens the door on the other side and jumps onto                                             page. It’s easier than you                           $500 left.”
                  the other horse.                                                            think to look up your ad-
                                                                                                                                NOW IN OUR 31st YEAR IN BUSINESS!
           Just before he rode off, I yelled out,                                                                                                                       Chocolate-Covered
                  “What was all that about?”                                                    7. To you, leaving that        Hasty Manufacturing, Inc.                   Raspberries
                                                                                                                                                                        Chocolate Baskets, Basket Fillers
  He replied, “Nothing. It’s just a stage I’m going                                           window open just a crack
                    through.”                                                                 during the day is a way to
                                                                                               let in a little fresh air. To   Sherni’s Candies                          and A Variety of Solid Rabbits
                                                                                                                                                                        ORDER AND SHIP EARLY
                                                                                                                                                                        FOR EASTER DELIVERY!
                                                                                                 me, it’s an invitation.
                                                                                                                                                                        MADE HERE FRESH DAILY:
                                                                                             8. If you don’t answer when                                                         Real Chocolate
                                                                                                                                  Home of the Chocolate                         Milk-Dark-White
                                                                                              I knock, I try the door. Oc-         Covered Potato Chip!                      Butter Crunch • Fudge
                                                                                              casionally, I hit the jackpot                                              Peanut Brittle • Roasted Nuts
                                                                                                   and walk right in.                                                     Chocolate Covered Cashews
                                                                                                                                                                            Old Fashioned Sea Foam
                                                                                                                                Sherni’s Candies Also Available at           Maple Walnut Cremes
                                                                                                                                 Brian’s Fruit Market, West Branch         Chocolate-Covered Peanut
                                                                                                                                                                                Butter Pretzels
                                                                                                                                      Nester Creek, Prescott                  Truffles and More...
                                                                                                                                      Crossroads, Whittemore
                                                                                                                                                                       OPEN 9 A.M. to 5 P.M. DAILY
                                                                                                                                                                           CLOSED TUESDAYS
                                                                                                    Three ladies were              Party Trays
                                                                                                discussing the travails of          Available                              35 North M65, at M55
                                                                                                                                                                        Whittemore, Michigan 48770
                                                                                                 getting older. One said,                     oo
                                                                                                                                    No Order T Big                               989-756-3691
                                                                                              “Sometimes I catch myself                   oo
                                                                                                                                      or T Small                        Keith, Sherry, and Brad Hasty
                                                                                              with a jar of mayonnaise in
                                                                                               my hand, while standing in
      We believe . . .     in delivering on                                                  front of the refrigerator, and
                                                                                              I can’t remember whether I                                                       WE BU
      promises and keeping everything you                                                                                                                                             Y
                                                                                              need to put it away, or start                                                       ANTIQ& SELL
         value safe, sound, and secure®.
                                                                                                  making a sandwich.”                                                          COLLE UES,
                                                                                                                                                                              KNIVE CTIBLES,
     Call us or stop in to learn how you can                                                 The second lady chimed in
                                                                                                                                                                                HUNTI JEWELRY,
                                                                                                                                                                               FISHINNG AND
      save by insuring your life, home and                                                   with, “Yes, sometimes I find                                                             G GEA
       auto with Auto-Owners Insurance.                                                      myself on the landing of the
                                                                                             stairs and can’t remember
                              Call or visit us                                               whether I was on my way up                                               OFFERING FURNITURE REPAIR, LAMP REPAIR,
                                                                                                or on my way down.”                                                        CHAIR RE-GLUING & RE-CANING,
             AGENCY NAME 10
                  106 Second, P.O. Box
                                                                                             The third one responded, “
                                                                                                                                                                           PLUS CUSTOM HARDWOOD TABLES
                                                                                                                                                                     We Buy Estates and Conduct Estate Sales, Statewide
                Town Name • 555-555-5555
                               Lincoln, MI 48742                                             Well, ladies, I’m glad I don’t                                                 NOW ACCEPTING CONSIGNMENTS
                        989-736-8387 • Fax 989-736-6301                                       have that problem. Knock
                                                                                              on wood,” as she rapped
                                                                                             her knuckles on the table,          Backroom Antiques & More
                                                                                              and then said, “That must         135 Newman St., East Tawas • (989) 362-0400
                                                                                               be the door, I’ll get it!”
now find “the good life press” on facebook                                                                                            The Good Life - april 2011 • 27

                                                                                                          WE PROVIDE ALL THE
                                                                                                                                         Wisdom Tooth Removal
                                                                                                           SERVICES OF OTHER             Implant Placement and Restoration
                                                                                                         OFFICES...PLUS WE’RE            Porcelain Veneers
                                                                                                            THE ONLY FAMILY
                                                                                                         PRACTICE IN NORTHEAST           Root Canals and Surgery
                                                                                                          MICHIGAN PROVIDING             Crowns and Bridges
                                                                                                            NITROUS OXIDE -              Non-Mercury Tooth Colored Fillings
                                                                                                        RELAXING GAS, AND BOTH
                                                                                                        ORAL AND I.V. CONSCIOUS          Dentures, Partials and Overnight Relines
                                                                                                         SEDATION OPTIONS FOR            “Full-Mouth” Rejuvenation
                                                                                                             YOUR COMFORT.               Second Opinions Gladly Provided

                                                                                                                We Treat Our Patients as Friends
                                                                                                              & We’re Always Accepting New Friends
                                                                                                                Come, Experience the Difference!
                                                                                                                                 (989) 362-6186
                                                                                                                  508 M-55 (next to the Hospital) • Tawas City, MI 48763
                                                                                                                        Visit us at www.DrThomasADawson.com

                                                                                                     The best way to succeed in life is to act on the
                                                                                                               advice we give to others.

                                                          (989) 356-4141                                             SUNRISE CARPETS DIRECT
                                                                                                                         CARPET - VINYL - LAMINATE
                                                                 or                                                                 Sales and Service

              You’ll Love This Place!                     1-800-968-1976                              Our Customers Save Hundreds of Dollars Every Day!
                                                                                                                 SAMPLES IN YOUR HOME
                                                                                                       Get the Price & Service You Deserve When
                      3137 US. 23 South • Alpena MI 49707
                                                                                                          You Call Me, Dave - “The Carpet Man”
                           Open 9-6 Mon-Fri, 9-4 Sat                                                                 (989) 724-5853

                                                                                                     Old age is always 15 years older
                                                                                                                 than I am.

                                                                                                      Huron Humane Society
                                                                                                                       Pets of the Month
                                                                      Signs Your Girlfriend                              SHAWN: 3 year
                                                                                                                        old Neutered Male       TAFFY: 4 year old

I really don’t like this restaurant that much, but I wanted to
                                                                     Is Going to Dump You                             They call me Shawn,
                                                                                                                         you can call me
                                                                                                                                                 Spayed Female
                                                                                                                                              Looking for something
                                                                                                                       whatever you want, sweet? Why not try a
          use this 2-for-1 coupon before it expired.                                                                  just don’t call me late      little Taffy?
                                                                     -- Your visa card and your                             for dinner!
                                                                       belt both hit their limit.
 I refuse to get cable. That’s how they keep tabs on you.                                                                                            TIGG: 4year old
                                                                                                                          HONEY: 2 year               Neutered Male
                                                                      -- She’s been wearing an                            old Spayed and             Staffordshire Mix
                                                                                                                         Declawed Female
        I used to come here all the time with my ex.                 engagement ring for three                          Spayed, declawed
                                                                                                                                                 Tigg is one-in-a-million,
                                                                                                                                                  house-trained, knows
                                                                     weeks, but you don’t recall                        and litter-trained, at    basic obedience and
                                                                                                                       $35 this girl is a steal! LOVES children! Don’t
  Could you excuse me? My cat gets lonely if he doesn’t                   proposing to her.                                                       let this guy get away!
  hear my voice on the answering machine every hour.
                                                                     -- She just started a college                      GINGER: 10-year-            COCOA: 3 year old Pit
                                                                                                                        old Spayed Female          Bull Mix. Cocoa is a large
                                                                       course that meets seven                           German Shorthair            girl with a heart as big
I really feel that I’ve grown in the past few years. Used to                nights a week.                                Ginger is an old          as her head! She would
be I wouldn’t have given someone like you a second look.                                                                girl set in her ways,      prefer to be the only pet,
                                                                                                                           looking for her          so she can get as much
                                                                     -- She says she has to tell                            perfect match.             love as she gives!
It’s been tough, but I’ve come to accept that most people I          you something... on Jerry
             date just won’t be as smart as I am.                             Springer.                                    Hours of Operation
                                                                                                                    Tuesday - Friday 11:00am - 4:30pm
                                                                                                                       Saturday 11:00am - 3:00pm
                                                                     -- Whenever she introduces

                                                                     you it’s always “I would like                  3510 Woodward Ave., Alpena, MI 49707
                                                                      you to meet an old friend                              (989) 356-4794
                                                                               of mine...”
 Use Your Tax Return Dollars to Make the Best Deal Ever!                                                      www.huronhumanesociety.org
                                                                       -- She leaves a message           www.Facebook.com/HuronHumaneSociety
                                                          Cymbals     on your phone and identi-              Stop by Real Estate One on Chisholm Street in Alpena
                                                                     fies herself by both her first         every Thursday from 10am – 4pm to meet the pet of the week!

                                                                           and last names.
                             131 Newman St.
                          East Tawas, MI 48730

                                                                                                       By Susan
  Guitar Amplifiers        (989) 362-3766              Tube Amps
   Pro Audio and                                                     -- Your other girlfriend told
     PA Systems      SEE THE GUITAR DOCTOR FOR                                 you so.
                       GUITAR HOT RODDING                                                              Professional Pet Grooming and Dog Training
                     AND REPAIR...AMPS TOO!
                                                                                                       NEXT CANINE GROUP OBEDIENCE CLASS
                                                                      -- The dartboard behind                BEGINS THURS. JUNE 23RD
                                                   Super Sustainer    your photo on her wall.
   The Newest                                         Guitars                                                  Susan Ratz
                                                                                                          Groomer, ABC Certified Trainer
   Authorized                                                         -- Her girlfriends look at                   Alpena, MI                            10% OFF all Training Services
                                                                                                                                                           for dogs adopted from the
    Dealer for               Floyd Rose
                                                                      you, tilt their heads, and                                                             Huron Humane Society
                              Systems,                                 say, “You haven’t got a              All Breeds Groomed by Appointment
                                                                                                            Private and Group Training Available            www.groomingbysusan.com
                     Parts & Accessories GUITAR COMPANY
                                                                            clue, do you?”
28 • The Good Life - april 2011                                                        thank your advertisers, they supply you with the good life!

                                                                                                                           Family Feud
                                                                                                                             Here are some actual answers from
                                                                                                                        contestants who have appeared on the game

                                                                                                                        show Family Feud (Family Fortunes in the UK):

                                                                                                                         Name something a blind person might use: a

   Haglund Landscaping
                                                                                                                          Name a song with moon in the title: blue
                                                                                                                                      suede moon

                                                                                                                          Name a bird with a long neck: a penguin

  SMALL ENGINE REPAIR & HUSQVARNA RETAILER                                                      Stop in and
                                                                                                                        Name an occupation where you need a torch:
                                                                                                                                        a burglar
         2316 M-32 West, Alpena • 989-354-2523                                                  Save on the
                                                                                               Special of the
                                                                                               Week - A New               Name a famous brother and sister: Bonnie
            A Familiar Face from the Harrisville Place                                           Item Each                              and Clyde
     Here to Serve All Your Outdoor Power Equipment Needs                                           Week
                                                                                                                         Name an item of clothing worn by the Three
                                                                                                                                    Musketeers: a horse
  BLOWOUT SAVINGS THROUGHOUT THE STORE ON MOWERS,TILLERS,TRIMMERS & MORE                                                   Name something that floats in the bath:
   Husqvarna Chainsaws                                          HUV4421G                          HUV4414GXP                             water
    Starting at $199.95                                  Retail $10,699.95                     Retail $8,699.95          Name something you wear on the beach: a
                                                        Out the Door Price                    Out the Door Price                       deck chair

                                                               $9,500                                $8,000                     Name something red: my cardigan

                                                                                                                               Name a famous cowboy: Buck Rogers
  Model 455e $379.95   Model 450 $369.95
     Reg $414.95          Reg $389.95
                                                                                                                                   Name a famous royal: mail
                           FREE Chain
                         Sharpening with    YTH24V48LS                                                                    Name a number you have to memorize: 7
                                              Riding Mower                                    Only Two Snowblowers
                       New Chain Purchase   with 3-Bin Bagger                                    Left in Stock OR       Name something you do before going to bed:
                          at Our Alpena                                                          One Meyer 7’6”
  Model 460 $409.95
     Reg $449.95             Location       $3,199.95                                          Snow Plow Offered
                                                                                                Below Dealer Cost
                                               Reg $3,399.90
                                                                                                                          Name something you put on walls: roofs

  Spring Tune-up Specials on All Outdoor Power Equipment – All Makes & Models                                            Name something in the garden that’s green:
                                                                                                                                      a scarecrow
                 State and Nationally Certified Technicians to Serve You Best
 Thinking Springtime Weather and Having Fun Instead of the Work                                                          Name something that flies that doesn’t have
                                                                                                                                    an engine: dishes
 That Has to Be Done...Call Haglund Landscaping – We Can Help!
                                                                                                                          Name something you might be allergic to:
              Fast, Friendly, Courteous, Professional Service – As It Should Be                                                          skiing
  ALSO VISIT US IN HARRISVILLE AT HAGLUND LANDSCAPING &                                                                    Name a famous bridge: the bridge over

                                                                                                                                     troubled waters

         HALL OUTDOORS                                                                                                  Name something a cat does: goes to the toilet

                                                               HUGE BOW SALE AND ACCESSORIES BLOWOUT                                 Name a continent: Italy

  GUNS ~ BUY ~ SELL ~ TRADE                                             SELECT ITEMS AT COST!                             Name something you do in the bathroom:
                                                                    Darton AS300 Sale $550.00 - Save $120.00
  PAYING CASH FOR NEW AND USED GUNS                                Darton Specter Sale $439.95 - Save $75.00
                                                                  Darton Pro 3000 Sale $640.00 - Save $100.00

   COMPLETE GUNSMITHING • APPRAISALS • ESTATE BUYING            Darton Ranger Pkg. L & R Hand Starting at $230.00        Name an animal you might see at the zoo: a
                                                               Buy Complete Package and Get Free Setup and Sight-in                        dog

                                                                      ALSO NOW ON SALE:                                        Name something slippery: a con man
                                                                     A Huge Selection in Stock
                                                                     Rifles, Pistols and Ammo
                                                                        Lots of Accessories                                      Name a kind of ache: a pancake
                                                                           On-Site Setup
                                                                     Special Orders Available
                                                                                                                          Name a food that can be brown or white:
 4999 M-72                                  Stop and See Where You Should Be...                                                           potato

 Harrisville, MI 48740                              M-F 8-6 • Sat 9-5             (989) 724-5599                                  Name a potato topping: jam

                                                                                                                                 Name a famous Scotsman: Jock
                                                                    As an instructor in driver education at the local
“Every child has great ambitions. As he grows,                        area High School, I’ve learned that even the         Another famous Scotsman: Vinnie Jones
he is bombarded by negative suggestions -- you                      brightest students can become flustered behind
                                                                                                                          Name something with a hole in it: window
  can’t do this; you can’t do that; be careful;                                        the wheel.
  look for security, and so on. Year by year,                       One day I had three beginners in the car, each        Name a non-living object with legs: plant
 he experiences the ‘realities’ of life, and his                         scheduled to drive for 30 minutes.
                                                                                                                                Name a domestic animal: leopard
 ambitions fade away. Figuratively speaking,                       When the first student had completed his time, I
 most people die by the time they reach their                     asked him to change places with one of the others.     Name a part of the body beginning with ‘N’:
                  adulthood.”                                       Gripping the wheel tightly and staring straight                         knee
                                                                   ahead, he asked in a shaky voice, “Should I stop
                       – Shall Sinha                                                                                             Name a way of cooking fish: cod
                                                                                    the car first?”

           FREE ESTIMATES                                                                                                            Tax Professional
                                                                   We hate to have                                                   Personal • Business
  McDonald Bros. Collision                                           some people
                                                                                                                                     Corporate • Partnership
                                                                                                                                        • Individually designed
                  989-354-8493                                      give us advice                         Income Tax                     bookkeeping systems

                                                                     because we
                                                                                                                                        • Payroll and Accounting
                               Ian McDonald                                                                  Service
                                                                   know how badly
                                                                                                                                     (989) 471-5258
                               Rich McDonald                                                                                         (989) 471-5116 FAX
                                                                     they need it                         10555 US-23 South          1-888-756-0014
                           133 W. Campbell Street
                                                                                                                Box 85               Joel Roy Marciniak
                             Alpena, MI 49707                                                             Ossineke, MI 49766         Owner
now find “the good life press” on facebook                                                                                        The Good Life - april 2011 • 29
                                                              The Difference
                                                              Between Men                               Joel’s Guitar Shop
                                                               and Women                                      GRAND RE-OPENING
 Five miles west of Oscoda on River Road,
     Michigan’s premier Scenic By-way
 1879 River Road, Oscoda • (989) 739-9979
                                                                                                               APRIL 1st, 2011
                                                               NICKNAMES: If Gloria, Su-                    1008 S. State, Alpena (989) 356-6384
      “We’re Not Just Another Party Store!”                     zanne, Debra and Michelle                       Owners: Joel & Laurie Choate
 Ice Cold Beer & Wine Coolers • Package Liquor & Wines         go out for lunch, they will call
                                                               each other Gloria, Suzanne,              New and Used
     NOW AVAILABLE:                                          Debra and Michelle. But if Mike,
                                                             Phil, Rob and Jack go out for a               Stringed
  Beer & Liquor Sales Starting at 7am on Sundays             brewsky, they will affectionately           Instruments
                                                              refer to each other as Fat Boy,
                         GROCERIES                           Godzilla, Peanut-Head and Use-           Buy~Sell~Trade
  DELI SANDWICHES, SNACKS & ICE • VARIETY OF OUR OWN JERKY                  less.                     All Musical Supplies
  CAMPING SUPPLIES • CAMPFIRE WOOD                             EATING OUT: And when the
                                                              check comes, Mike, Phil, Rob                     LESSONS AVAILABLE
      REGULAR & PREMIUM GAS                                  and Jack will each throw in $20
   LOTTO – DAILY & INSTANT TICKETS                             bills, even though it’s only for       Clip This Ad - Get 20% OFF Storewide thru April 2011
                                                             $22.50. None of them will have
 HUNTING & FISHING SUPPLIES • TRAIL MAPS                      anything smaller, and none will                                   WANTED:
                                                             actually admit they want change             Old Vintage Guitars, Mandolins and Banjos
     Call for Accurate Fishing Reports                         back. When the girls get their
                                                                check, out come the pocket              New and Used School Band Instruments
  Steelhead Headquarters                                                 calculators.

  WE GOT IT ALL!                                                  BATHROOMS: A man has
                                                                 six items in his bathroom-a
                                                                 toothbrush, shaving cream,
                        LIVE BAIT:                            razor, a bar of Dial soap, and a
   Minnows • Crawlers • Worms • Wigglers                     towel from the Holiday Inn. The
                                                             average number of items in the
                                                                                                                 Dr. Terry D. Trombley Palmer Graduate
         Waxworms • Spawn Bags                                 typical woman’s bathroom is                       Skilled and Gentle Chiropractic Care
    FISHING TACKLE • RODS • REELS                            437. A man would not be able to                                               Hours:
                                                                identify most of these items.                     Monday Closed • Tuesday 9:00-9:00 • Wednesday 8:00-4:00
  TERMINAL TACKLE • HAND-TIED FLIES                                                                               Thursday 9:00-9:00 • Friday 8:00-4:00 • Saturday 8:00-4:00
                                                              GROCERIES: A woman makes
 The Only Dam Store on the Trail!                               a list of things she needs and                    (989) 739-0077
                                                               then goes out to the store and                                   Fax 989-739-2743
                                                              buys these things. A man waits                   5671 N. Skeel Ave. • Located in the Base Hospital, Oscoda

  Lots of your friends want to ride with                     till the only items left in his fridge
                                                             are half a lime and a soda. Then
                                                                                                       ”Wine improves with age. The older I get, the
  you in the limo, but what you want is                        he goes grocery shopping. He
                                                             buys everything that looks good.                  better I like it.” – Anonymous
someone who will take the bus with you                         By the time a man reaches the
                                                                 checkout counter, his cart is
      when the limo breaks down.                                packed tighter than the Clam-
                                                               pett’s car on Beverly Hillbillies.
                                                              Of course, this will not stop him
                                                                from going to the 10-items-or-
                                                                            less lane.

                                                               SHOES: When preparing for
                                                               work, a woman will put on a
                                                               Mondi wool suit, then slip on
                                                             Reebok sneakers. She will carry
                                                               her dress shoes in a plastic
                                                             bag from Saks. When a woman
                                                             gets to work, she will put on her
                                                             dress shoes. Five minutes later,
                                                              she will kick them off because
                                                              her feet are under the desk. A
                                                              man will wear the same pair of
                                                                       shoes all day.

                                                             CATS: Women love cats. Men
                                                              say they love cats, but when
                                                             women aren’t looking, men kick

                                                               DRESSING UP: A woman will
                                                             dress up to: go shopping, water
                                                              the plants, empty the garbage,
                                                             answer the phone, read a book,
                                                             get the mail. A man will dress up                                                        4053 Ralph Scott Drive
                                                                  for: weddings, funerals.            Peter Simpson
                                                                                                                                                         Oscoda, Michigan
                                                                                                      lakehuronservices@yahoo.com                                48750-1059
                                                              LAUNDRY: Women do laundry
                                                             every couple of days. A man will
                                                                wear every article of clothing
                                                              he owns, including his surgical
                                                              pants that were hip about eight
                                                              years ago, before he will do his
                                                               laundry. When he is finally out
                                                               of clothes, he will wear a dirty       989-254-8784
                                                                                                      Free Estimates
                                                                 sweatshirt inside out, rent a        Senior Discount
                                                             U-Haul and take his mountain of          Fully Insured
                                                             clothes to the Laundromat. Men
                                                               always expect to meet beauti-
                                                               ful women at the Laundromat.
                                                               This is a myth perpetuated by
                                                             re-runs of old episodes of “Love,
                                                                      American Style.”

                                                                OFFSPRING: Ah, children. A
                                                             woman knows all about her chil-
                                                               dren. She knows about dentist                             HOMES, INC.
                                                             appointments and soccer games
                                                              and romances and best friends            5900 U.S. 23 North • Alpena, MI 49707
                                                               and favorite foods and secret                www.abchomesalpena.com
                                                              fears and hopes and dreams. A
                                                               man is vaguely aware of some           Mark Holmes                989-356-2621
                                                             short people living in the house.
30 • The Good Life - april 2011                                                                                   thank your advertisers, they supply you with the good life!
                                         7038 Hubert Rd, Hubbard Lake, MI 49747

                                                                                                                It was an emotional wedding.
                                        (989) 356-2756 • Cell (989) 657-2870

                                                                                                                  Even the cake was in tiers.
                                              e-mail: info@sunriseside.com
                                         www.SunriseSide.com                                                                                                                         Cellular Shades • Solar Shades
                                           Free Repo List Available – Call or Email
                                                                                                                                                                                     Vertical Shades • Faux Woods
Buyers Looking for Land Contact and P.M.M. Deals ASAP
   SELLERS: BUYERS ARE WAITING                                                                                                                                                                    Custom
    NOW FOR FARMS, LAND, ETC.                                                                                                                                                                     Service
                                                                                                                                                                                     Also Visit Our Gift Shop Featuring
                                                                                                                                                                                      Jewelry, Purses & Home Accents
                                                                                                                                                               Visit Us at www.statestreetinteriors.net
                                                                                                                                                                               Call for Complimentary In-Home Estimate
                                                                                                                                                                               401 N. State St., Oscoda • 739-2770

                                                                                                                  A lady was walking down the street to work and she saw a parrot on a
                                                                                                                  perch in front of a pet store. The parrot said to her, “Hey lady, you are
                                                                                                                                                 really ugly.”
                                                                                                                              Well, the lady is furious! She stormed past the store to her work.
                                                                                                               On the way home she saw the same parrot and it said to her, “Hey lady,
 THIS 40 ACRES has 25 acres woods/with swamp cedartrees Lowland Hardwoods,newer camp
                                                                                                                                      you are really ugly.”
 16x46. Bunk room sleps 8 also upper upsatirs loft sleeps 3.Theres was an addition added in 1996
 with TG vaulted Ceilings and T/G cedar walls .heated by wood stove and running water.4’’ well
                                                                                                           She was incredibly ticked now. The next day the same parrot again said to
 submersible pump. and septic system.Copper Plumbing, 3/4 Bath. 13 acres fiels planted with 3500                               her, “Hey lady, you are really ugly.”
 trees palnted in 2009. NOW $114,900 #270094 LAND CONTRACT TERMS AVAILABLE
 MORE LAND AVAILABLE AT $700 - $1,500.00 PER ACRE                                                            The lady was so ticked that she went into the store and gave the owner a
                                                                                                             piece of her mind. The store manager promised he wouldn’t say it again.
                                                                                                            When the lady walked past the store that day after work the parrot called
                                                                                                                                     to her, “Hey lady.”
                                                                                                                                                                 She paused and said, “Yes?”
                                                                                                                                                                    The bird said, “You know.”

                                                                                                                    A young boy goes out fishing with his dad in a boat.
                                                                                                                                “Dad, why is the sky blue?”
                                                                                                                                  “I dunno,” his dad says.
                                                                                                                              “Dad, how does a boat float?”
                                                                                                                                     “I dunno,” he says.
                                                                                                                               “Dad, how do fish breathe?”
                                                                                                                                  “I dunno,” his dad says.
                                                                                                                        “Dad, do you mind if I ask you questions?”
                                                                                                                   “No son, not at all, how else are you going to learn?”
                                                                                                         A friend is someone who knows the song in your
                                                                                                         heart and can sing it back to you when you have

 HORSE/FARM Built Morton Built Barns, Greatare ready to use for small Business or Horses or
 cattle. Serene Views with 22 acres of Hardwoods and also Hay fireld aprox 25 acres and balance
 of land is Pasture . Three Barns included are 72ftx48 Ft with five horse stall onside and hay stor-
 age inside.2nd Barn is 40x48 Ft Pole Barn with 3rd is 12 Ft high Walls ,26ftx 16 Ft Run Barn is
 open to south. $159,900 #271121

                                                                                                                                                               (2) Difficulty: Easy 12x12
                                                                                                                                                                          Solution at the back of the paper
                                                                                                                        forgotten the words.

                                                                                                                                                           c    8          2                     a
                                                                                                                                                                      9    3               c         7         5
                                                                                                                                                                                      b    3                   4    a
                                                                                                                                                                9                          5         2              1
                                                                                                                                                                2                                                   4
                                                                                                                                                                3     5    4     9                        b    8
                                                                                                                                                                           1                         6
                                                                                                                                                           9    7     8    c
                                                                                                                                                                      2                    7     c        5    b
                                                                                                                                                           8          a               c    6         4    2
 360 ACRES borders state land on two side. Oaks and maples and Aspen on 200 acres Hard-
 woods lots of trees and trails great hunting at the end of a county rd also a small18x20 cabin rustic
                                                                                                                                                                                      9          7   a         1
 exists lots of rds also 160 acres of swamp and lowland Hardwoods uncut balsam,cedar, also one
 80 acres parcels has minerals 280 acres of minerals are owned by the state of Michigan rd on                                                                         3          4               2             9
 two side. $612,000 #269896
                                                                                                                                                                            www sudoku-puzzles net
now find “the good life press” on facebook                                                                                      The Good Life - april 2011 • 31

       Best Meat - Best Prices Every Day
   Let Us Make              T Bones $6.89/lb. • Porterhouse $6.99/lb.
     Your Party
    Trays, Fruit,
                              Ribeye Steak $6.99/lb. • Sizzle Steaks $4.29/lb. • Breakfast Sausage $1.49/lb.
                                                Homemade Sandwich Spread $1.59/lb.
                                                                                                                                                Lenten Specials
  Vegetable, Meat
  & Cheese Trays          Whole Pork Loins (Boneless) $2.19/lb. • Boneless Chicken Breast $1.99/lb.
                                                                                                                                                in Our Seafood
    24-Hour Notice
       Required                         Koegel’s Vienna Sausages 10 lb. Box $26.90                                                                Department
  More Savings in our Deli Department                                           Value Pizza
      Weekly Specials on Deli-Sliced Lunch Meats & Cheeses                      Med/1-Item                                                     Register to
                   Cold Salads & Side Dishes                                                                                                   Win a Plush

        DAILY                Whole Rotisserie Chicken                                                                                         Easter Bunny!
                              or 8-pc. Fried Chicken
    House Smoked Meats            $6.99
    Half Chicken, Ribs,
                             Make it a Dinner with Two 1-lb. Sides: Choice of potato
      Roast & More!         wedges, Yoder’s cole slaw, macaroni salad or potato salad
                                                                                      Many Hot Lunch & Dinner Items
      Available at the                                                                    Served Daily ‘til 8pm
        Deli Counter                      $8.99                                          ~ AVAILABLE ANYTIME ~
                                                                                  Anything from our deli menu can be prepared with
                                                                            15-minute advance order (with the exception of pizza) until 8pm   See store for details

                              863 N. Barlow, Lincoln, MI                Phone (989) 736-8027
            HOURS: Mon - Thurs, 6:30am - 10pm • Fri/Sat 6:30am - 11pm • Sun 8am - 10pm
                         Advertised prices good for April 1-14, 2011 or as marked

    Four women driving across country. were each from a
   different state: Idaho, Nebraska, Florida and New York.
                                                                                                      All Roads Lead to...
  As the trip began, the woman from Idaho started pulling
potatoes from her bag and throwing them out of the window.
“What are you doing?” demanded the Nebraskan. “ We have
        so many of these in Idaho, I am sick of them! “

   A moment later, the gal from Nebraska pulls ears of corn
 from her bag and tossing them from the window. “What are
you doing ?” asked the gal from Florida. “We have so many of
                                                                                              SPRING HAS SPRUNG -
these in Nebraska, I am sick of them!” Inspired, the gal from                            IT’S CAMPING SEASON AGAIN !!!
  Florida opens the car door and pushes the New Yorker out.                            Stop in and See the New Jayco
                                                                                       Fifth Wheels & Travel Trailers!


                                                                                                                                                     “Hi, I’m Andy.
                                                                            SALES • SERVICE • PARTS                                                   Welcome to
                                                                                1554 US-23 • East Tawas, MI 48730                                      Jay’s RV.
                                                                                                                                                     Let me make
                                                                                  (989) 362-2910 or 800-362-4075                                    you the deal of
                                                                                      Visit www.JaysRV.com                                            a lifetime!”
32 • The Good Life - april 2011                                                                                                                                                        thank your advertisers, they supply you with the good life!
                                               Filippa Witman – REALTOR®
                                                “Key to your Real Estate needs”
                                                                                                                                                                                  A new manager spends a week at his new office with the manager he is replac-
                                                       Cell: 989-884-3002
                                                 Home Office: 989-471-9136                                                                                                           ing. On the last day the departing manager tells him, “I have left three num-
                                                   Toll Free: 800-356-9961                                                                                                         bered envelopes in the desk drawer. Open an envelope if you encounter a crisis
                                                Ofc. (Ext 240): 989-356-1177                                                                                                                                       you can’t solve.”
     259 S. Ripley Blvd.
                                              Email: filipparose@filipparealtor.com                                                                                                  Three months down the track there is a major drama, everything goes wrong -
     Alpena, MI 49707
                                                Website: www.bannerrealty.com                                                                                                     the usual stuff - and the manager feels very threatened by it all. He remembers
                                                                                                                                                                                  the parting words of his predecessor and opens the first envelope. The message
                                                                                                                                                                                      inside says “Blame your predecessor!” He does this and gets off the hook.
                                                                                                                                                                                    About half a year later, the company is experiencing a dip in sales, combined
                                                                                                                                                                                    with serious product problems. The manager quickly opens the second enve-
                                                                                                                                                                                   lope. The message read, “Reorganize!” This he does, and the company quickly
 Well built, well maintained 3 bedroom ranch.          Comfortable 3 bedroom home on a double lot                  Hunting property. Blinds and rustic                            Three months later, at his next crisis, he opens the third envelope. The message
 Very nice retirement or starter home with full,       in township. Features newer eat-in kitchen, family          cabin included. Electric on site. Adjoins to
 partially finished basement. Great neighborhood        room with free standing gas stove, large laundry/           14 acres. Railroad property (not in use).                                            inside says “Prepare three envelopes”.
 and lovely yard. Seller is offering a One Year Home   mud room with 1/2 bath and extra storage. 2 tier            $29,900 MLS# 271639
 Warranty. $69,900 MLS# 268508                         deck & fenced in yard. Finished 2 car heated
                                                       attached garage plus a bonus 2 car detached
                                                       garage with workshop. $115,000 MLS# 271487                                                                                      That some good can be derived from ever y event is a
                                                                                                                                                                                      bet ter proposition than that ever y thing happens for the
                                                                                                                                                                                                  best, which it assuredly does not.
 Lovely ranch home has 3 bedrooms, 1 large main                                                                    Super home has 3-4 bedrooms, large
 floor bath. Pleasant and in very good condition        Ranch w/basement on a corner lot in friendly                living room, formal dining room & huge eat-in
 with nice kitchen and dining room with doors to       neighborhood. Features open floor plan & wood floors.         kitchen with newer oak cabinets. This inviting
 deck. Full walk-out basement has family room, 3/4     Recently remodeled w/ quality in mind. High end kitchen     home has 2 full baths & main floor laundry.
 bath, laundry room and plenty of storage. There is,   appliances, countertops & windows. Tile bathroom            Extensively remodeled from top to bottom.
 also, a 1 car attached garage and beautiful yard.     shower walls, floors & new comfort height toilets. Family    Lots of storage and finished 2 car garage
 An excellent neighborhood to retire or raise your     room w/ mini bar. Private patio w/outdoor electric. Newer
 family. $89,900 MLS# 268109                           furnace, air conditioner & 200 amp service. Near schools.
                                                                                                                   situated on 1.40 acres/several outbuildings &
                                                                                                                   paved driveway. $114,900 MLS# 265690                               “I can’t find it,” REALLY MEANS, “It didn’t fall into my outstretched
                                                       Move-in ready. $119,900 MLS# 269731
                                                                                                                                                                                                       hands, so I’m completely clueless.”
                                                                                                                                                                                          “That’s women’s work,” REALLY MEANS, “It’s dirty, difficult and

 Newly remodeled 3 bedroom home located on a                                                                                                                                       “Will you marry me?” REALLY MEANS, “Both my roommates have moved
 large nicely manicured corner lot. Some features
 include high end kitchen appliances, less than        Commercial building. VFW Hall
                                                                                                                   ‘’Excellent Curb Appeal’’ 2 bedroom home is packed
                                                                                                                   with lots of extras, large closets, first floor laundry, attic
                                                                                                                                                                                     out, I can’t find the washer, and there is no more peanut butter.”
 one year old, built in China cabinet, skylights in    of Spruce. 5,000 sq.ft. Sold ‘’As Is’’.                     storage in attached garage, slider off dining room to
 kitchen and bathrooms, sprinkler system, central
 air and security doors. Within walking distance to
                                                       handicap accessible. 30,000 sq.ft. parking
                                                       lot. 4 furnaces. Newer hot water tank (100
                                                                                                                   10x8 deck. This low maintenance home is conveniently                “It’s a guy thing,” REALLY MEANS, “There is no rational thought
                                                                                                                   located close to Lake Huron, parks and recreation.
 Long Lake Access. $89,900 MLS# 269015                 gallon). $45,000 MLS#271495                                 ‘’MOVE IN CONDITION’’! $72,900 MLS# 270792                        pattern connected with it, and you have no chance at all of
                                                                                                                                                                                                          making it logical.”
                                                                                                                                                                                   “Can I help with dinner?” REALLY MEANS, “Why isn’t it already
                                                                                                                                                                                                           on the table?”
 Enjoy the view of the lake this 3 bedroom, 2          What a find! This well maintained home has a lot to                                                                          “It would take too long to explain, “REALLY MEANS, “I have no
 bath, 2 car garage home has to offer. Bright open     offer. Comfortable living & family rooms, built in china    Situated on 2.2 Ac treed lot, this 3 bdrm, 1.5
 floor plan, large kitchen, sky light, breakfast bar    cabinets in kitchen, newer furnace & hudifier (02) roof,     bath home offers a large eat-in kitchen, 1st                                          idea how it works.”
 and walk-in pantry. Master bath with garden tub       windows&siding replaced in 93-basement sparkles w/          floor laundry, spacious family rm perfect family
 and walk in closet. Dining area includes a built in   fresh coat of paint&tiled floors, 15x14 patio off finished    gatherings. Just a stones throw from pristine jewell
 China cabinet. Slider to deck, circle drive, treed    garage. Large city lot-Immediate occupancy. Freshly         Lake. Ideal ‘’North Getaway’’ or hunting camp.                       “I’m getting more exercise lately,” REALLY MEANS, “The
 lot & within walking distance to lake access. Land    painted living room & bathroom. Land Contract Terms         Needs a little TLC. Land Contract Terms Available.
 Contract Terms Available. $110,000 MLS# 266617        Available. $69,900 MLS# 264604                              $29,900 MLS# 264618                                                             batteries in the remote are dead.”

                                                                                                            3190 M-65
                                                                                                            Glennie, MI
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                Curtisville & County Road 604, South Branch: 40
                                            HeritageHouseRealty.com                                                                                                               Quick Oil Change – Oscoda… Just listed! Asking only           Acre Parcel; Adjoining Federal Land; Gas, oil & mineral
                                                                                                                                                                                  $179,000 for this great opportunity. Formerly Valvoline Oil   rights included with sale. Terrain varies. Heavily wooded
  534 Turner Road, Curran - Nicely                                                   Tomahawk Lake Rd-Atlanta, Want some of                                                       Change. Includes 2400 sf commercial rental in rear as well    to mildly wooded. $104,000
                                                                                                                                                                                  as the 1500 oil change facility. Buy yourself a job!!!!!!
  maintained cabin features updated windows                                          northern Michigan’s finest hunting and fishing?
  and vinyl siding. Comes fully furnished and                                        This one of a kind offering will give you just that.
  is ready for immediate occupancy. Just                                             Heavily wooded with all kinds of seclusion. You
  a stones throw from the national forest.                                           will not see another camp on this lake where
  2 bedrooms with 2 car detached garage                                              I have been told that the bluegills require two
  asking only $43,900                                                                hands to hold. Includes most furnishings, pole
                                                                                     barn, dock and tractor. Shown only to pre-
  10 Acres & McGillis Creek, Mikado                                                  qualified purchasers who have been seeking
  – Square ten acre parcel at the corner                                             the dream come true property. $349,900                                                                                                                     2841 North Lake Rd-Glennie, not only do you get 100
  of Hubbard Lake Road and F-30. Well                                                                                                                                                                                                           acres of fantastic wooded wildlife splendor, you also
  wooded with a mixture of tree types. Decent                                        Van Ettan Creek lot, Oscoda: Zoned high                                                                                                                    get approximately 10 acres of North Indian Lake. 4 or
                                                                                                                                                                                  Alvin Rd-Mikado - 80 heavily wooded acres with                5 bedroom, 2 bath house, pole barn, 16’ x 13’ deck
  building site. Motivated seller asking only
                                                                                     density residential with some commercial                                                     Roy Creek running through property, 1900+ sf                  overlooks a landscaped hill side $375,000
  $19,000.00                                                                                                                                                                      modern hunting camp, complete trail system, great
                                                                                     possibilities. Fronts on Van Ettan Creek and
                                                                                                                                                                                  hunting and fishing! Reduced to $244,900
                                                                                     busy highway F-41. Ideal for house or small
  3.79 Acres, Rollways Road - Located
                                                                                     professional service or retail shop. $24,000
  within walking distance of Jose Lake and a
  short distance to the AuSable River. Borders
                                                                                     Oscoda-113 Plus Acres, some of North
  tons of Federal land. Excellent building site
                                                                                     East Michigan’s best hunting. Whitetail deer,
  for the up north dream home. $13,000.00
                                                                                     grouse, woodcock, turkey, coyotes, waterfowl
                                                                                     all abound. Some food plots already in place
  10 Acres - Cruzen Road, Mikado. Heavily
  wooded 10 acre parcel that has electric and                                        with well established lush clover. Includes                                                                                                                7411 Maplehurst Way – Oscoda, Spacious 3 bed, 2
                                                                                                                                                                                  Curran, Michigan - 1791 M-65 - Cozy Home. Close               Surrounded by woods and inside Lakewood Shores golf
  phone at road. High and low land. Great for                                        a 400 sf one room cabin with wood stove,                                                                                                                   course, in-ground sprinkler system, large deck, storage shed
                                                                                                                                                                                  to town. Ready for Your finishing touches. 2 bedroom,
  hunting or for your home site! Asking only                                         gas lights & wired for generator. Reduced to                                                 1 bath. Land Contract terms possible!!! $21,000               with electric, four large lots, and wildlife galore.. $112,900
  $24,900.                                                                           $200,000.

  Golf Course & Club House – Glennie                                                 32 Acres Harrisville – Fantastic parcel ideal
  18 hole course with deluxe 12,000 sf club                                          for your home site or for development into
  house, restaurant, banquet facility. Ideal                                         profitable smaller parcels. Located right on
  development possibilities, Give Jeff a call….                                      M-72 only a minute from downtown Harrisville.
                                                                                     Asking a mere $34,500.
  Lake Huron, Oscoda’ boat slip #82.
  14x25. has direct access to Lake Huron                                             10 Acres Curran - Nicely wooded parcel in
                                                                                                                                                                                  Orchard and Berry Farm - Mikado. Includes cider               3435 McCollum Lake Road-Curran, Gorgeous 2 bath 2
  a 2 level dock to allow for changing water                                         Lakes of the Green with access to 2 private                                                  operation building and equipment, approximately 800 apple     bedroom home. Includes 68 acres with food-plots and trails
  levels, water and electric hook up, and                                            lakes. Includes 800 sf, 1 bedroom 1 bath home                                                trees, approximately 800 to 1000 blueberry bushes. Could      throughout. Close to McCollum lake. Many custom details
  gated parking. Reduced to $3,500                                                   with a pole barn. $59,900                                                                    be the perfect family business. Reduced to $100,000           inside-must see! Reduced to $189,000
now find “the good life press” on facebook                                                                                     The Good Life - april 2011 • 33

                                                                                                                                            225 Newman St., East Tawas, MI
                                                                                                                                            989-362-4585 • 1-877-552-4545
         Greenbush Market
              & Marathon Gas                                                                                                                 Mark@SterlingPropertiesMI.com

             FRESH FROM OUR DELI:                       Lottery
   Lunchmeats • Homemade Salads • Burritos               Beer
       Fresh Ground Hamburger • Sausage                  Wine                                          NEW LAKEFRONT LISTING
    Smoked Bacon • Hamburgers • Hot Dogs
   Pizza by the Slice • Fresh Baked Bread & Buns
        PLUS Soda • Snacks Wild Bird Feed
                                                                                    Salon               This beautiful custom built
                                                                                                        three bedroom, three bath
                                                                                                         home, quality throughout,
                                                                                                          hardwood floors, vaulted
     Diamond Dog Food • Propane Exchange                                                              ceilings, central air, geothermal
                                                                                                       heat with a two story garage

 2436 U.S. 23 Greenbush, MI • 989-569-3800
                                                                    Hop in For Your                      on Sage Lake with sandy
                                                                                                         swimming area $250,000
                                                                                                                                                     112 ACRES, JOHNSON CREEK flows
                                                                      New ‘Do!                                                                      through part of this 112 acre beautifully
                                                                                                                                                   wooded prime hunting parcel then to State
                   SCR EEN PR INTIN G                                                                                                              Land. Well built three bedroom, 1.5 bath,
                                                                    Dawn • Donna                                                                 first floor laundry, wood burner, full basement,
                                                                                                                                                     attached garage and separate two car
                                                                    Tammy • Shelly                                                                             building, $195,000

                                                                                                                 GOT HUNTING LAND?
                                                                                                           160 ACRES If you want
                                                                     Mon-Fri 9am - 5pm                  private, remote hunting land,

     BEST PRICES IN NORTHEAST MICHIGAN                                Sat 9am - 1pm                    this is it! Deep in the forest is
                                                                                                      this 160 acres with the National
    MENTION THIS AD FOR 10% OFF SCREEN PRINTING                                                        Forest on 3 sides with some of
                                                                    Evenings by Appointment Only        the finest hunting in the area

           989-354-4400                                             306 N. State St.
                                                                                                                                                   REDUCED! NEED MORE ROOM?
                                                                                                                                                    Five bedrooms, large living room,
                                                                                                                                                    dining, kitchen, high ceilings, full

                                                                                                                                                   basement, paved drive, garage and

                                                                                                                                                  two lots. Newer natural gas hot water
                                                                                                                                                   boiler, shingles and vinyl siding, just

                                                                                                         HORSE LOVERS Want to be in the
                                                                                                      country but close to town? This is it. Over
                                                                                                      2280 sq. ft. two story home on a full walk-
                                                                                                       out basement, four bedrooms, 2.5 baths,
                                                                                                      Oak flooring, jet tub, exercise room, newer
  (Corner of US-23 and Nicholson Hill Road)                                                             efficient wood pellet stove for low heat
                                                                                                        bills, all on 10 acres fenced for horses,
  Ossineke, 989-471-2911 • 888-471-2911                                                                 with pasture, just out of town $150,000
                                                                                                                                                         NEW COMMERCIAL LISTING Prime
  Open Monday thru Friday, 8 a.m. to 6 p.m.
                                                                                                                                                         Location 21 Unit Motel, 2 Jacuzzi units,
        Saturday 9 a.m. to 3 p.m.                                                                                                                        game room, sauna, 5 bedroom owners

                                                                                                                                                           home, fireplace all on over 2 acres
Don’t audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.                                                                                                                  $400,000

 Baker’s Hilltop
                                                                                                       LARGE COMMERCIAL 4140 sq.ft. building,
                                                                                                          currently rented, all but 965 sq.ft. Has a
                                                                  A man is sitting at home on         positive income and space for another renter!
                                                                                                        Building has several offices, meeting room,
                                                                   the veranda with his wife             lobby, kitchen, several bathrooms, central
                                                                                                      air, retail space, garage, patio, fenced private
   Pontoon Redecking               Pontoon Specialists            having a beer, and he says,             yard, paved drive and excellent location,
                                                                                                      right across from the main entrance of airport

  Pontoon Customizing              MARINE SERVICES                       “I love you.”                                    $150,000
                                                                                                                                                            FOUR BEDROOM HOME set
    Pontoon Hauling                   Steve & Shellie Baker       She asks, “Is that you or the                                                               up with private quarters for
                                                                                                                                                            care givers or teen, living area

 Shrink-wrap & Storage
                                        4632 North M-65                  beer talking?”                                                                     features a beautiful field stone
                                         Hale, MI 48739                                                                                                      fireplace, dining, kitchen, two

     Recreational                  BakersHilltop@centurytel.net   He replies, “It’s me, talking                                                             bedrooms, has two car garage
                                                                                                                                                               and a two story workshop

   Consignment Sales                989-728-3665                         to the beer.”
                                                                                                         REDUCED, NEED ROOM? Large

                                                                                                        three bedroom 1 1/2 bath home with
                                                                                                          office area, family room, 2 1/2 car
                                                                                                          attached garage has a finished loft
                                                                              A man was visiting         that was used a fourth bedroom, all
                                                                                Ireland and got a      on about 1/2 acre with a wooded area
                                                                                                                   behind $39,900
                                                                               parking ticket. He
                   (2) Difficulty: Hard 16x16                                  decided to fight the
                                                                                                                                                         READY TO MOVE IN TO, nice, clean,
                                                                                                                                                         three bedroom home on large corner
                        Solution at the back of the paper                      ticket and went to                                                         lot, open floor plan, large kitchen, 1
                                                                                                                                                         3/4 baths, 2 car garage, paved drive,
                                                                                      court.                                                                wooded area out back. Close to
   1           g           b                        49   7                                                                                                Sand Lake access and the National
                                                                                The judge asked                                                                     Forest, $79,900

 c 8           4         d 7                       9 6 g                      him why he thought           NEW LISTING Sunrise
                                                                                                        Surprise, Lake Huron views
                                                                                he wasn’t guilty.     from this newer three bedroom,
          a         3                                    8                    The man replied by
                                                                                                         2.75 bath home, featuring
                                                                                                         a great room, library/music

 9                                     g             c     f                   saying that a sign     room, spa, lakeside deck, 6 car
                                                                                                        work shop with lift and more,
                                                                              indicated he could                  $179,900
 d   b              a 2              8 3               f 4                        park there.                                                      REDUCED LAKE HURON SANDY
                                                                                                                                                     BEACH Enjoy this two bedroom
 4 9                b                              2 a                          The judge asked,                                                   cottage that was recently remodeled
                                                                               “What did the sign                                                  with new siding, shingles, carpet and
   7                e g              5         6     b   3 1                          say?”                                                         flooring. Has a fireplace and large
                                                                                                                                                  100x245 wooded lot across the street,
                               c          8        4   6 d 7                    The man replied,                                                                $149,900.

          9 3
           5   7                               4       2                       “Fine for Parking.”      CALL US FOR THESE AND OUR OTHER
                                                                                                                 GREAT LISTINGS
 a         e                                   5 1   g c
                                                                               An Army driver was chauffeur to a major who was a notorious
         6 9                                           a b
                                                                               womanizer. One day, the major saw a lovely girl. “Turn the car
 5 g       4                                     6 c     f                                        around,” he ordered.
     g 6 4   5   d                               f     b
                                                                              The driver promptly stalled the car. By the time he had re-started
 b   7 f       9                                   8 4
                                                                                                  it the girl had vanished.
     d     8   1                                 c 6       e
   5   c     f   e                             7   1   3 9                    “Driver,” said the major, “you’d be a total loss in an emergency.”
                                                                               “I thought I did pretty well,” the driver said. “That was my girl.”
                      FALL ARRIVALS
34 • The Good Life - april 2011                                                   thank your advertisers, they supply you with the good life!
                                                                    My wife is such a

  Andy’s Auto Service Center LLC
                                                                                              Tune Your ‘Toon – Be Ready for Summer Fun!

 Engines A/C  Where Quality
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                                                                   leave dental floss
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                                                                    the roaches hang
                                                                                              I will pick your pontoon up from
                                                                                             storage.Tune it and make it water
                                                                                                     ready for the season.
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 Shocks Struts                                                                               Makes & Models
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                                   Mon - Thurs 8:00 - 6:00
                                     Friday 8:00 - Noon
                                                                    What do a tornado,             Northeast Michigan
                                                                                               1109 W. AuSable Rd.
                               Saturdays by Appointment Only       a banker and the IRS       Old US-23 • Oscoda, MI
                                   5540 US 23 North                  have in common?          E-MAIL: boatdocoscoda@yahoo.com    (989) 739-5580
                                   Alpena, MI 49707                 Sooner or later one
                                          Owners                    of them will get your   I dated a girl once whose father had instructed her that she
                                 Andy Carpenter & Jeff Piper
                   Andy’s Transmission Shop Inc Why should golfersFamily Room
      Phone                                                                                         was to say “NO” to anything that I asked her.
        Fax                     *All Living &                                                            So I said, “Do you mind if I kiss you?”
 Give us a Call!   Your Complete Drive Line Service Center
                                                           carry two pairs of                on Sale!                She said, “No.”
                   Transmissions • Transfer Case • Differential          pants?             Her dad asked her when she got home, “Did you do as I said?”
                                                                   They might get a hole
                          Axles • U-Joints • and More                    in one.                  “Yes,” she replied, “and what an evening we had.”

                                                           Spriing Spriing Sale!!!
                                                                  “New Arrivals Coming in Daily!”

                                  30% to 70%
                                            *All Bedroom & Mattress
                                                  Sets on Sale!

Table of Elements:
                                   Storewide                                                 *All Dining

C = carbon
Ho = holmium                                                                                 Furnishings
Co = cobalt
La = lanthanum                                                                                on Sale!
Te = tellurium
                                                                                                   Worth the Drive to Oscoda!
                                                                                                                5227 N. US-23 • Oscoda
CHoCoLaTe -
Better living through                                                                                           989-739-2064
chemistry                                                                                           www.whiteinteriorsfurniture.com

                                                                                                                  Why did the blonde take 17
                                                                                                                    kids to the movies?
                                                                                                                   Because it said “Under 17 not

     “THE MAKE IT EASY MOVERS”                                                                                  Did You See That?
                                                                                                                 Two guys are out hunting deer.
           TRANSPORTATION SPECIALIST                                                                             The first guy says, “Did you see
            MINI STORAGE AVAILABLE                                                                                 “No,” the second guy says.
                                                                                                                “Well, a bald eagle just flew over-
                                                                                                                     head,” the first guy says.
                                                                                                                    “Oh,” says the second guy.
                                                                                                               A couple of minutes later, The first
                                                                                                                  guy says, “Did you see that?”
                                                                                                                “See what?” the second guy asks.
                                                                                                                “Are you blind? There was a big,
                                                                                                                 black bear walking on that hill,
                                                                                                                            over there.”
      2520 SOUTH US-23 • TAWAS, MI 48763                                                                                      “Oh.”

          MAKEWAYMOVEALL.COM                                                                                     A few minutes later the first guy
                                                                                                                     says: “Did you see that?”
                                                                                                                By now, the second guy is getting
          TOLL FREE: 800-248-3954                                                                              aggravated, so he says, “Yes, I did!”

            LOCAL: 989-362-8383                                                                                 And the first guy says: “Then why
                                                                                                                        did you step in it?”
now find “the good life press” on facebook                                                                                                                                          The Good Life - april 2011 • 35
                                                                                                    From Patients’
                                                                                            HOSPITAL CHARTS
                                                                                              1. The patient is tearful and
                                                                                                                                                       IOSCO RESA
                                                                                                                                                       OFFERING ADULT CLASSES FOR TRUCK DRIVING
                                                                      WINN ’S                 crying constantly. She also
                                                                          ER                   appears to be depressed.

                                                                                            2. Patient has chest pain if she
                                                                                            lies on her left side for over a

                                                                                            3. On the second day the knee                                See Our Website at www.ioscoresa.net
                                                                                              was better, and on the third                                               (Go to “Transportation” Tab)
                                                                                                  day it disappeared.                                     For Info, Call 989-362-3006 Ext. 132
                                                                                                                                                          Motorcycle Classes Beginning April 29, 2011
                                                                                            4. She has no rigors or shaking                                           REGISTER NOW!!!
                                                                                             chills, but her husband states
                                                                                              she was very hot in bed last                                 TRACTOR PULL MAY 7th
                                                                                                          night.                                       Registration 8:00-10:30am • Race Stars at 11:00am

                                                                                                5. The patient has been                                  Iosco RESA Career and
                                                                                               depressed since she began                               Technical Education Classes
                                                                                                  seeing me in 1993.                                             Open to all Juniors and Seniors at
                                                                                                                                                           Oscoda, Tawas, Hale and Whittemore-Prescott
                                                                                            6. Discharge status: Alive but
                                                                                                                                                                    • Automotive Technology
                                                                                               without my permission.
                                                                                                                                                                      • Powerplant/Aviation
                                                                                                                                                                        • Power Mechanics
                                                                                            7. Healthy appearing decrepit                                           • Multimedia Productions
                                                                                             69 year old male, mentally                                       • Health Science/Health Occupations
                                                                                                 alert but forgetful.                                                      • Cosmetology
                                                                                                                                                                      • Health Science/EMS
                                                                                             8. I saw your patient today,                                 • Food/Tourism and Hospitality Management
                                                                                             who is still under our car for                            The Iosco Regional Educational Service Agency does not discriminate in
                                                                                                                                                       any activity, program or employment on the basis of race, color, disability,
                                                                                                   physical therapy.                                     national origin, gender, religion, age, height, weight or marital status.
        “This picture was taken at Universal
   Studios,Orlando, FL. In the background is the                                                9. Patient has two teenage
    new “The Wizarding World of Harry Potter”                                                     children, but no other                              Two snakes were slithering up the hill, one snake asked
  castle. Love your paper and I hope to win some                                                                                                            the other snake, “Hey, are we poisonous?”
    good life merchandise. Have a great day!”                                                  10. She stated that she had                                              He said, “No, why?”
                                                                                               been constipated for most
                                  – Laura Hutsell                                               of her life, until she got a                             So he said, “Thank goodness, cause I just bit my
                                  Fort Wayne, IN                                                          divorce.                                                           tongue.”
      Take The Good Life along
        on your vacations!
                                                                                            The Constitution gives every American
                                                                                             the inalienable right to make a damn

        Send us a picture of you and
     The Good Life and win exciting new
          Good Life merchandise!
   Send your photo via email to info@thegoodlifepress.com
        Or mail to P.O. Box 92, Lincoln, MI 48742
                                                                                                        fool of himself.

                              Sponsored by
                     Lud’s Professional Building
                            1223 S. State St. Suite C
                               Alpena, MI 49707

 Wendy LaCombe
                            989-354-WIDE                        Stacey McEwen
      ACC, CTC
wendylacombe@frontier.com    www.worldwidetravelsandtours.com   Destination Specialist
 SUMMER 2011 ALASKA CRUISES 7 night Round trip Seattle All Meals &
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36 • The Good Life - april 2011                                                                                                                                         thank your advertisers, they supply you with the good life!

   AnJ Statewide Real Estate                                                                                                                                                                                             AnJ Statewide Real Estate
                        430 S. U.S. 23                                                                                                                                                                                                   E-mail:
                     Harrisville, MI 48740                                                                                                                                                                                        sold@anjstatewide.com
                    Phone: (989) 724-5711                                                                                                                                                                                              Web Site:
                     Fax: (989) 724-6833                                                                                                                                                                                        www.statewiderealestate.net
                   1-800-655-5735                                                                                                                                                                                                www.realestate-mls.com
   Awarded 2009 3rd Top Office Class A for Statewide Real Estate – Also #2, #5 and #9 Top Sales People for 2009

  Outstanding home on 181 ft of “no wake” Hunters Lake. This 3                         Check This Out! Nowhere else on all sports Cedar Lake will                This very nice home was built by the owner themselves for their
  bedroom, 3 bath home has a fantastic view of the lake from all rooms on              you find all of this at such an affordable price. This cottage/home        retirement home. Their personal touch is everywhere from the                       Beautiful remodeled chalet with 3-4 bedrooms, 1 1/2 bath
  the lakeside of the home. Includes a finished walk-out basement, wrap                 features 3 bedrooms, 2 baths, 2 car garage, sun room, stone               26 x 36 finished and insulated garage, to the two covered decks,                    on 50 ft of sugar sand beach on Lake Huron, features custom
  around deck on 3 sides of the home, 3 car attached garage and detached               fireplace all overlooking 122 ft of sandy swimming area and a              and the overall charm. The view of Lake Huron in the distance is                   wood trim, fireplace, newer appliances, fabulous sunrise views,
  garage. Relax, swim, fish or take a pontoon boat for a ride. Proof of funds           deep wooded lot. Many updates include hot water heater, furnace           impressive. Built on a high bluff provides seclusion and privacy from              maintenance free siding, 1 1/2 car detached garage to store all
  and/or lender pre-approval letter required with offer. $99,900 # 10-0152             and vinyl windows. $168,900 # 10-0119                                     any neighbors. $159,900 # 10-0074                                                  the toys, deep wooded lot. $239,900 # 077-10-0127

                                                                                                                                                                 Located on one of the most desirable private roads along Lake Huron this
  Great opportunity to buy on Hunters Lake (No Wake Lake)at a low price.                                                                                         house provides year round living. Great for retirement or a getaway. 2.6 acres
  This 2 bedroom, 1 bath home comes with an open floor plan with a dining                                                                                         of forest and being closer to the lake than your neighbors insures your privacy.   White Pine National Golf Course and Hubbard Lake are just a stones
  area/kitchen/living room combination and deck overlooking the woods and                                                                                        Excellent sand beach provides miles of shoreline walking and great swimming.       throw away from this custom log home with over 3,000 S.F. sitting on
  lake. The semi finished basement has a patio area under the upper deck and            Enjoy Lake Huron living at its best. This beautiful 2 bedroom             Finished in bright knotty pine planking with a free standing fireplace gives a      11+/- acres. Features master bedroom suite with 14x11 master bath
  includes wood stove for alternative heat. Included is a 1 car detached garage.       home is perfect for the folks who are looking for a weekend get away      cottage atmosphere. The screened porch provides insect free, comfortable           and a 10x14 sitting room. There is a double sided gas fireplace to heat
  All of this on 2 nicely wooded lots with 124+/- feet of lake frontage on the lake.   or a year round home. With a 24 x 40 pole barn you have lots of room      summer living, day or night. A bright modern kitchen overlooks the lake. The       the living room and dining room. A cook’s kitchen, 13x20, for the chef.
  Being sold in AS IS condition. Proof of funds and/or pre-approved from lender        to store all your big boy toys. 100 ft of Lake Huron shoreline is just    ceramic tile floor in the living room eliminates spark burns from the fireplace.     Upstairs loft overlooks the living area. Heated 2 car garage plus an
  required with offer. $44,149 # 10-0131                                               waiting for you. Call for details. $199,000 # 10-0113                     Excellent sand beach tops off this great property. $324,500 # 077-10-0058          additional 40x40x12 insulated detached garage. $319,000 # 10-0135

  Immaculate quality built home on 2.8 acres with a view of                                                                                                      Three cottages on the best beach on Lake Huron. One cottage
  all sports Jewell Lake. Home includes 1,600+/- sq ft with 2 large                                                                                              could be a summer getaway. Rent the other two to pay for your
  bedrooms, 2 full bathrooms, living room with patio doors to large                    If you are looking for a traditional up north cabin on Lake               up north place. Each cottage has two bedrooms, 1 bath, kitchen,                    Cute home features a kitchen-dining combo, large living room 18.6
  deck, and air condition. The attached 2 car garage is finished and                    Huron - this is it! Interior is log and knotty pine, featuring a stone    screened porch, wall furnace and fireplace. Only the main house                     x 11.6, plus 3 bedrooms, and a full bathroom. The mostly finished
  has a bar for entertaining. The new 24 x 32 pole barn has a cement                   fireplace, new roof, and an unobstructed view of Lake Huron. Fulfill        has central air. Close to town. Great rental opportunity or family                 basement has a large recreation room and utility area. Plus there is
  floor and electricity. Truly a must see! $120,000 # 10-0073                           your lifelong dream of living on Lake Huron. $229,000 # 10-0086           compound. $275,000 # 10-0116                                                       a 2 car detached garage and fenced back yard. $74,900 # 10-0154

Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the reader who                                                                                                                   I don’t think our kids know what an apron is.
doesn’t get it.
                                                                                                                                                                    The principal use of Grandma’s apron was to protect the dress
Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very high.                                                                                                                     underneath because she only had a few and because it was easier to
                                                                                                                                                                  wash aprons than dresses and aprons required less material. But
Karmageddon: It’s like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad                                                                                       along with that, it served as a potholder for removing hot pans from
vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it’s, like, a serious bum-                                                                                                                 the oven.
                                                                                                                                                                It was wonderful for drying children’s tears, and on occasion was even
Dopeler Effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they                                                                                                             used for cleaning out dirty ears.
come at you rapidly.
                                                                                                                                                                  From the chicken coop, the apron was used for carrying eggs, fussy
Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a refund from the IRS, which lasts until                                                                                      chicks, and sometimes half-hatched eggs to be finished in the warming
you realise it was your money to start with.                                                                                                                                                    oven.

                                                                                                                                                                 When company came, those aprons were ideal hiding places for shy

                 ~                                                                                                          ~
                                                                                                                                                                   And when the weather was cold, Grandma wrapped it around her

                                                                                                                                                                Those big old aprons wiped many a perspiring brow, bent over the hot
                                                                                                                                                                                            wood stove.
    Saturday, April 16th, 4:30-7:00 pm                                                                                                                          Chips and kindling wood were brought into the kitchen in that apron.
      $7 for adults, $5 for children                                                                                                                                              From the garden, it carried all sorts of vegetables.
        5-12 years, under 5 free                                                                                                                                               After the peas had been shelled, it carried out the hulls.

                       Serving Baked                                                                                                                            In the fall, the apron was used to bring in apples that had fallen from
                                                                                                                                                                                               the trees.
                   Potatoes with All the                                                                                                                         When unexpected company drove up the road, it was surprising how
                    Trimmings, Pie and                                                                                                                            much furniture that old apron could dust in a
                     Various Desserts,                                                                                                                                        matter of seconds.

                         Beverages                                                                                                                                When dinner was ready, Grandma walked out
                                                                                                                                                                  onto the porch, waved her apron, and the men
   St. Matthew Lutheran Church                                                                                                                                  folk knew it was time to come in from the fields to
                       7109 Wolf Creek Rd., Herron                                                                                                                 It will be a long time before someone invents
     For more information, call 989-727-2769                                                                                                                     something that will replace that ‘old-time apron’
                                                                                                                                                                           that served so many purposes.
now find “the good life press” on facebook                                                                                        The Good Life - april 2011 • 37
                                                                                                                                       Professional Catering
                                                                                                                                  for Your Most Impressive Affairs
                                                                           Tim O’Rourke was walking his
     Relaxed Fine Dining & Spirited Drink                                 Irish Setter in the country side.                           “Up North”
                                                                          He picked up a stick and threw                            Catering L.L.C.
                                                                           it, the dog went and retrieved
                                                                         it and brought it back. Tim then                            Buffets, Dinner Parties
                   MONDAY-THURSDAY                                        threw it in a different direction                        Weddings & Holiday Parties
                   BBQ Babyback Ribs $11.95                                 and the dog once again went                                989-728-2082
           1/2 slab, tossed salad, baked potato & veggie                    and retrieved it and brought
                                                                             it back. Tim then threw it in                        “Try us...our reputation depends on
                      Pan-Fried Perch $11.95                              another direction and it landed                                   your satisfaction.”
              French fries fresh veggie and cole slaw                      in a small lake. The dog went
                     Chicken Especiale $11.95                                 down to the water’s edge,
           Risotto potatoes fresh veggie and tossed salad                walked across the water, picked      “I want to have children, but my friends scare
                                                                              up the stick and brought it     me. One of my friends told me she was in labor
                      Substitutions add $1.00
                                                                                         back.                for 36 hours. I don’t even want to do anything
          Dine-in Only - Take-outs Add $2.00                                                                           that feels good for 36 hours.”
     Or enjoy a selection from our regular menu                           Well, Tim was astounded. He
                                                                          couldn’t believe what he had                            - Rita Rudner
   Lunch 11:30am-3:30pm • Mon-Thurs Dinner 4:30-8:30pm                     seen and threw stick in the
        Fri/Sat Dinner 4:30-9:30pm • Closed Sundays                       lake again, and the dog once
     739-1518 • 111 East Dwight in Downtown Oscoda                       again walked across the water
                                                                          to bring the stick back. As he
                                                                          went into town, he promised

           Sixteen Years                                                  that he would show his dog’s
                                                                         wonderful new trick to the first
                                                                             person he came across.
It was many years ago since the embarrassing day when a young
  woman, with a baby in her arms, entered his butcher shop and             Once in town the first person
 confronted him with the news that the baby was his and asked               the dog owner came across
what was he going to do about it? Finally he offered to provide her         was the town drunk Declan
        with free meat until the boy was 16. She agreed.                   Dunphy. Tim dragged Declan
                                                                           to the lake to show him what
  He had been counting the years off on his calendar, and one day         his dog could do. Once again,
 the teenager, who had been collecting the meat each week, came           the dog owner threw the stick
           into the shop and said, “I’ll be 16 tomorrow.”                    into the small lake and the
                                                                          dog went to the water’s edge,
“I know,” said the butcher with a smile, “I’ve been counting too, tell   walked across the water, picked
your mother, when you take this parcel of meat home, that it is the      up the stick and brought it back
 last free meat she’ll get, and watch the expression on her face.”                  to it’s owner.
                                                                                                              “My husband and I are either going to buy a
    When the boy arrived home he told his mother. The woman               Once the drunk saw that, he         dog or have a child. We can’t decide whether
 nodded and said, “Son, go back to the butcher and tell him I have        turned to the dog owner and
                                                                         said; “Why that’s great, mister!         to ruin our carpet or ruin our lives.”
  also had free bread, free milk, and free groceries for the last 16
           years and watch the expression on HIS face.”                    But when are you going to                              - Rita Rudner
                                                                         teach your dog how to swim?”

                                                                                   Two                           Oscoda                      Harrisville
                      OME                                                                                       3991 US-23                    478 US-23
                                                                                Offices to
                      UNTER                     Realty LLC                                                     989-739-2557                 989-724-6900
                                                                                Serve You                     1-800-550-7355               1-877-691-6900

      WATERFRONT-LAKE HURON                         LAKE ACCESS - OSCODA                     LAKE ACCESS - BLACK RIVER                        OSCODA

             4460 Lakeshore Dr.                      6596 Loud Drive - REDUCED                Lakeshore Dr. - Lake Huron Access       4072 Mackenzie Rd., Oscoda
           $199,900 # 425-09-0016                       $95,900 # 428-10-0011                      $82,500 # 425-10-0012                $168,900 #428-08-0042

      WATERFRONT - GREENBUSH                      LAKE HURON WATERFRONT                           NEW LISTING-MIKADO               LAKE ACCESS - GREENBUSH

          4322 E. Cedar Lake Drive                         3146 N. US-23                               2660 F-41 Mikado                      2572 Lake St.
           $169,900 #428-09-0018                       $209,900 # 428-07-0017                       $105,000 #428-10-0023                $73,500 #425-10-0001
      WATERFRONT - GREENBUSH                     LAKE ACCESS - GREENBUSH                             HUBBARD LAKE                   LAKE HURON WATERFRONT

            4840 Cedar Lake Drive                       7924 Cedar Lake Drive                          1555 Hubert Rd.               5650 N. Ridge Rd., Black River
           $179,000 # 428-08-0019                       $63,900 # 428-09-0009                       $65,000 # 425-09-0002               $258,900 # 425-10-0010

     WATERFRONT - GREENBUSH                         LAKE ACCESS - LINCOLN                            OSCODA RESORT                         COMMERCIAL
                                                                                                                                  Glass/Bike Shop 216 S. State Oscoda
                                                                                                                                           $269,000 #148-OS

                                                                                                                                   Office Building 5149 US 23 Oscoda
                                                                                                                                          $155,000 #191-OS

                                                                                                                                   Dairy Queen 100 N US 23 Oscoda
        1911 Sunrise Dr. - Lake Huron                    4125 Pheasant Rd.                           2524 S. US-23 - Resort
                                                                                                    $499,000 # 428-10-0001               $399,900 #428-10-0007
           $239,900 # 425-10-0002                      $159,900 # 425-09-0005
38 • The Good Life - april 2011                                                                                thank your advertisers, they supply you with the good life!

                            HOBART’S FURNITURE
                                                                                                                         A famous professor of surgery died and went to heaven. At
                                                                                                                         the pearly gate he was asked by the gatekeeper: ‘Have you
                                                                                                                                   ever committed a sin you truly regret?’
                                                              Check out Hobart’s                                        ‘Yes,’ the professor answered. ‘When I was a young candidate
                                                            Superior Lines of New
                                                                                                                          at the hospital of Saint Lucas, we played soccer against at
                                                               Furniture, Quality
                                                            Pre-Owned Furniture,                                          team from the Community Hospital, and I scored a goal,
                                                            Antiques, Collectibles                                       which was off-side. But the referee did not see it so, and the
                                                             and Ecclectic Estate                                                  goal won us the match. I regret that now.’
                                                            Pieces. You’ll Love the
                                                                 Experience!                                             ‘Well,’ said the gatekeeper. ‘That is a very minor sin. You may
                                                     Hobart’s Furniture
                                                                                                                         ‘Thank you very much, Saint Peter,’ the professor answered.
                                                                                         Buying Gold, Silver
                                                      4215 N. US-23, Oscoda                 & Platinum
                                                                                                                          ‘I am not Saint Peter,’ said the gatekeeper. ‘He is having his
                                                                                                                                        lunchbreak. I am Saint Lucas.’

                                                                                                                         Six-year old Angie and her four-year old brother, Joel, were sit-
                                                                        PART II                                          ting together in church. Joel giggled, sang and talked out loud.
                                                                                                                         Finally, his big sister had had enough. “You’re not supposed to
     “We’re going to be late,” REALLY MEANS, “Now I have a legitimate excuse to drive                                                          talk out loud in church.”
                                      like a maniac.”                                                                              “Why? Who’s going to stop me?” Joel asked.
        “Take a break, honey, you’re working too hard, “REALLY MEANS, “I can’t hear the                                 Angie pointed to the back of the church and said, “See those two
                                game over the vacuum cleaner.”                                                                     men standing by the door? They’re hushers.”
                               “That’s interesting, dear,” REALLY MEANS, “Are you still talking?”
      “Honey, we don’t need material things to prove our love, REALLY MEANS, “I forgot
                                 our anniversary again.”
“It’s really a good movie,” REALLY MEANS, “It’s got guns, knives, fast cars, and good
                                  looking women.”
 “You know how bad my memory is,” REALLY MEANS, “I remember the words to the
theme song of “F Troop”, the address of the first girl I kissed, the Vehicle Identifica-
       tion Number of every car I’ve ever owned, but I forgot your birthday.”
                                                  “Oh, don’t fuss. I just cut myself. It’s no big deal,” REALLY
                                                MEANS, “I have actually severed a limb, but will bleed to death
                                                                   before I admit I’m hurt.”
                                                 “I do help around the house,” REALLY MEANS, “I once threw a
                                                              dirty towel near the laundry basket.”


                               BUDGET USED CARS                                                                                                                                            
                               5666 F-41 • OSCODA, MI • 989-739-5342
                                                                         MAKE THE MOST OF YOUR TAX
                                                                          RETURN WITH A GREAT DEAL
                                                                         ON OUR BEST LINEUP EVER OF
                                                                           CARS, TRUCKS AND VANS!!!
                            2002 FORD F-150 LARIAT                                                                                               2003 DODGE GRAND CARAVAN
                            Super crew cab, short bed, 4x4, 4-door,       MANY MORE VEHICLES TO CHOOSE FROM!                                      138k miles, quad seating, 7 passenger,
                                      towing pkg, 5.4L                                                                                                CD, power seat, alloy wheels
                                  $10,975                                                                                                                $7,575

                             2002 FORD MUSTANG COUPE                                                                                             2005 CHEVROLET TRAILBLAZER
                              2-Door, 75k miles, 3.8L V6, rear                                                                                   116k miles, 4.2L, 4WD, leather, moon
                                                                                                                                                          roof, multi-disc CD
                            spoiler, power seats, CD player, A/C
                                    $7,275                                                                                                             $12,275
                               Four Great Ways to Buy at Budget Used Cars:
                                     • Pay Cash $$$$$ • Bank Finance                                                                       BUY HERE
                              • Creative Payment Plans to Fit Your Budget OR                                                              PAY HERE!!!

now find “the good life press” on facebook                                                                                                 The Good Life - april 2011 • 39


                                                                    drastically decreases amorous desires. It’s
                                                                      Scientists have discovered a food that
  Northeast Michigan’s Largest
   Premier Bait & Tackle Shop
 Camping Supplies              COME

                                                                                called wedding cake.
  LIVE BAIT:                  SEE OUR
 Waxworms • Live Minnows OPENING             All Our Live Bait is
                                            Guaranteed to Catch
 Wigglers • Spikes • Mousies MAY 1st!        Fish or Die Trying

 Located Just Minutes from the Best Fishing at
             Fletcher’s Floodwaters
       Call for a Current Fishing Report
    Now Carrying the               All Hunting &
                                  Fishing Licenses
  Famous “Ken’s Hooks”           ORV & Trail Permits
   SPRING HOURS                    (989) 742-4874
   Open 7am - 5pm Sun-Thurs
       7am-6pm Fri-Sat           3 Miles East of Hillman on M-32

 Computers Must Be Female Because
        5. No one but their creator understands their logic.

  4. Even the smallest mistakes are immediately committed to
                memory for future reference.

3. The native language used to communicate with other comput-
            ers is incomprehensible to everyone else.

 2. The message, “Bad command or filename,” is about as infor-
 mative as “If you don’t know why I’m mad at you, then I’m cer-
                   tainly not going to tell you.”                                                                 989-739-0771 or 1-800-739-NELS (6357)
 1. As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself                                                       Fax 989-739-0772 • nelandsurvey@sbcglobal.net
        spending half your paycheck on accessories for it.

          The Liberty
          US-23, Tawas City, MI

   Mon-Sat 10-5, Sun 12-4
    (989) 362-6310                      US-23, Tawas City

            402 LAKE STREET (US-23), TAWAS CITY
                    (989) 362-6644
                            • ANTIQUES
                            • ESTATE FURNITURE
                            • COLLECTIBLES
                              WE BUY & SELL
      Friday/Saturday 10am-5pm • Sunday Noon-4pm

    Marbie’s Nutrition
    Your Complete Health Food Store!
       402 Lake Street
     Tawas City, MI 48763
   Monday-Friday 10am - 5:30pm
       Saturday 10am-5pm
40 • The Good Life - april 2011                                                              thank your advertisers, they supply you with the good life!

                                          NORTHERN ACCENTS
                                           Rhythm Clocks • Beautiful Throws
                                                                                                             K&K CASH FLOWS
                                                                                                                                                    Cash for Your Future Payments
                                            Colonial & Woodwick Candles
                                          Upholstered & Log Furniture in Stock                                                                                                       KELLY KARPP
                                              NEW LOWER PRICES ON                                                                                   5737 M. US-23 #4 • P.O. Box 127
                                          RHYTHM CLOCKS & LOG FURNITURE                                                                                         Oscoda, MI 48750
                                              See Our New Line of Purses & Jewelry                                                                                          989-305-2415
                                              New Spring Merchandise Arriving Daily                                                                        www.kandkcashflows.com
                                 Daily Year
                                                Mon. - Fri. 10 - 5 • Sat 10-4 • Sun. 11-3
                                                  989-724-5404                                               A best friend can tell you things you
                                                     211 S. State (US-23), Harrisville
   FREE LAYAWAY                                        info@northern-accents.com                                  don’t want to tell yourself.

                                                                                                                When the man came home, his wife was crying.
    CARPET & UPHOLSTERY CLEANING                                                                                        “Your mother insulted me,” she sobbed.
    Proudly Serving Alcona & Iosco Counties                                                                “My mother? How could she do that when she is on vaca-
                                                                                                             tion on the other side of the world?” the man asked.
      Van Powered Deep Steam Extraction Units
      Always Two Technicians Aboard                                                                        “I know. But this morning a letter addressed to you arrived.
      Furniture Carefully Removed and Reset                                                                           I opened it because I was curious.”
      We Carry Our Own Water                                                                                                                             “And?”
      Oriental and Rug Cleaning Specialists                                                                                 “At the end of the letter it was written:
      Family Owned and Operated                                                                            PS. Dear Diane, when you have finished reading this letter,
    Clean for Appearance. Clean for Health.                                                                            don’t forget to give it to my son.”
                                                                         A little boy was afraid of the
                                                                          dark. One night his mother

                                                                           told him to go out to the       Answer to Crossword                                                                from page 22
                                                                         back porch and bring her the
                             Ther                                       broom. The little boy turned to                          Solution brought to you by
                                                                        his mother and said, “Mama, I
                                                                                                                                    Great Lakes
               989-739-2995                                             don’t want to go out there. It’s
                                                                                      dark.”                                      office equipment
                                                                        The mother smiled reassuringly          Call 989-354-5816 • service@gloe.net
                                                                                                             for All Your Office Equipment Solutions
 What do you call a brunette
                                                                           at her son. “You don’t have
                                                                          to be afraid of the dark,” she
   between two blondes?                                                  explained. “Jesus is out there.        1       2         3        4                        5       6        7        8
                                                                        He’ll look after you and protect            S       O         A        P     Y                  S       H         I       R    T
                 An interpreter                                                        you.”                    9                                          10
                                                                                                                    L        I        M A                    C          A        I       R        O
                                                                          The little boy looked at his          11                                  12              13                                14
                                                                         mother real hard and asked,                A       L         O        N     E                  D       R         I       E    R
                                                                        “Are you sure He’s out there?”                            15
                                                                                                                    T                 R        E     S          I       D       E        S             O
                                                                             “Yes, I’m sure. He is
                                                                        everywhere, and He is always
                                                                                                                    E                 Y              C                  L                H             B
                                                                         ready to help you when you
                                                                            need Him,” she said.
                                                                                                                                               H     A       V          E       N
                                                                                                                17                18                                                 19               20
                                                                         The little boy thought about
                                                                                                                    Y                 F              L                  B                L             E
                                                                                                                                  21       22                               23
                                                                          that for a minute and then
                                                                          went to the back door and
                                                                                                                    E                 L        E     A       K          A       G        E             V
                                                                                                                24      25                                          26                        27
                                                                        cracked it a little. Peering out            S       T          I       L     T                  G       R        A        Z    E
                                                                         into the darkness, he called,
                                                                                                                        28                                                  29
                                                                          “Jesus? If you’re out there,                      O         N         I    O       N                  O        V        E    N
                                                                        would you please hand me the
                                                                                                                30                                                  31
                                                                                    broom?”                         E       N         T        E     R                  T W E                     E    T

                                                                           North Star                                                                                                                       #3

                                                                            Diner                                                                         Professional Alterations & Repair

               FINANCIAL AID AVAILABLE                                                  N                                                                  Now Offering Tuxedo Rentals &
                   Open to the Public for...                                                                                                             A Selection of Basic Sewing Notions
   Haircuts $6 ~ Shampoo & Set $6 ~ Perms starting at $30
                Manicures $6 ~ Pedicures $20                                  W                  E
              All Services Performed by
 Suite #1          Senior Students             (989) 739-1956
         Karpp’s Oscoda RadioShack Dealer
                        FULL-LINE RADIOSHACK
                                                                            (989) 739-1837
  INVENTORY REDUCTION SALE          OPEN DAILY                                                                               Hair Care
       Stop in and Take     SERVING BREAKFAST & LUNCH
                                                                                                                            Hours: Mon-Fri 9:00-5:00 • (989) 739-3464
   Advantage of the Savings WEDNESDAYS: $1.00 Coneys                                                         Suite                MEN’S AND BOYS HAIR CUT
                                                                        Daily Breakfast & Lunch Specials      #6                   ONLY $6.00 with Coupon
               Open 9-5 M-F • Sat 9-4         (989) 739-2911 Suite #4
 THE OSCODA COMMONS                                                     5737 N. US-23, OSCODA (Next to K-Mart)
now find “the good life press” on facebook                                                                                                                                                  The Good Life - april 2011 • 41

              Think Spring!!!
  Ben Franklin Bird Feeders & Houses
     Downtown East Tawas                                                                                              Lawn Decorations
     All the Tradition of the Local Five and Dime
     “Stop in and See What’s New!”®                                                                                  Kites • Wind Chimes
                       Open 9-6 • Sunday 11-4                                                                  Oriole & Hummingbird Feeders
      138 Newman Street • East Tawas
                                                                                                                  Large Variety of Webkins
                    (989) 362-2751
                           Find Us on Facebook                                                                     for Your Easter Baskets
                                                                                                                                                                             My dear friend, a divorcee, never remarried, and
  A counterfeiter decided that                                                                                                                                                     her daughter wanted to know why.
  the easiest way to pass off
  his phony $18 bills would be                                                                                                                                                 “The men I know would bring too much heavy
 to unload them in some small                                                                                                                                                baggage to the marriage and I simply don’t want
 rural town, so he drove until                                                                                                                                                       to put up with it,” she explained.
  he found a tiny town with a                                                                                                                                                 Taking her mother’s hand in hers, my friend’s
   single general merchandise                                                                                                                                                daughter said sweetly, “I hate to break the news
  store. He entered the store,                                                                                                                                                 to you, Mom, but you’re not exactly carry-on
  went up to the counter, and                                                                                                                                                                   yourself.
handed one of the bogus bills
to the man behind the counter.
                                                                                                                                                                            After learning the Lamaze method of natural
“Could you change this for me,
                                                                                                                                                                                childbirth, I was admitted to the delivery
            please?”                                                                                                                                                                          room with my wife.
                                                                                                                                                                             It seemed like an eternity before the doctor
 The store clerk looked at the                                                                                                                                               finally announced, “I’ve got the head now;
  bill for a few seconds then                                                                                                                                                             just a few more minutes.”
smiled at the man. “Of course I                                                                                                                                                   “Is it a girl or boy?” I asked excitedly.
 can. Would you prefer two $9                                                                                                                                               The doctor replied, “I don’t know. It’s hard to
     bills or three $6 bills?
                                                                              “work stress is gettin’ to you too, eh buddy?”                                                                    tell by the ears.”

                                                                      (989) 739-2050 • 800-968-4408                                                                                                            Kim Kirvan
                                                                                                                                                                                                             Ron Mathison
                                                                                       335 South State Street • Oscoda, MI 48750                                                                               Kristin Sak
                                                                                                                                                                                                             Steve DuBree
                                                                                Website: statewideoscoda.com                                                                                                Randy Robinson
                                                                                                                                                                                                              Betty Leech
                                                                                Here are a few of our listings. We invite you to call, come in
       OF OSCODA
                                                                                                                                                                                                              Jeff Layman
                                                                                or visit us on the web for more on these or other properties.                                                                Rose Kuhlman

                                                                                                                                                                      FULLY FURNISHED!!! Perfect vacation get-away. Completely remodeled
                                                                                    WHAT A BARGAIN.!! Seller serious about selling!!! 33.7 beautiful acres            cottage one block from Lake Huron. Nice open layout makes it seem so
                                                                                    out in the country and still close to civilization!! Built in 2006, this lovely   much larger. Updates include, vinyl siding, roof, furnace, hot water heater,
                                                                                    3 bedroom, 2 bath home comes with everything you might need and                   interior and exterior doors, new kitchen, laminate flooring throughout and
 GREAT BUILDING LOT across the street from Lake Huron just north of                 then some. Located on a paved county maintained road, this beautifully            a new front window. You really just have to see this one. Lot is wooded at
 the 3 mile park area. Beautifully wooded with electric and gas at the street.      wooded property offers privacy as well as all the wildlife you can imagine.       back and one side. $44,900 # 081-10-0001GL
 $10,000 # 081-11-0011GL                                                            Deer blinds set up. Storage galore in the 2 1/2 car garage, 30X40 pole
                                                                                    barn and additional 1 1/2 car heated garage/workshop. Property has been
                                                                                    stake surveyed and copy of survey is in the file. Come on out and take a
                                                                                    look, you won’t be disappointed. $149,000 # 081-09-0020GL

                                                                                                                                                                      ABSOLUTELY CHARMING HOME with 3 bedroom unit 1st floor and 2
                                                                                                                                                                      bedroom unit 2nd floor. Live in one, rent the other or rent both and let the
                                                                                                                                                                      renters build your equity. Large barn style garage with 2nd floor for pos-
                                                                                                                                                                      sibility of bunk house or apt. for another rental. Large second floor deck
                                                                                                                                                                      off upper unit, great for parties, bar-b-ques, etc. Deeded easement to Van
                                                                                                                                                                      Etten Lake directly across street from this home. Enjoy swimming, fishing,
                                                                                                                                                                      kayaking, etc. $69,000 # 081-10-0045GL
 THIS BEAUTIFUL 4 BEDROOM HOME is one of the nicest homes in the

                                                                                                                                                                            VACANT LOTS
 Villages of Oscoda on a large lot. The home owner has over $140,000 into the
 home with a 2 car attached garage with a handicap accessible ramp that leads
 into a home you must see inside to appreciate. It has gorgeous hard wood           NEW CONSTRUCTION SCHOOL BUILT HOME. Exterior finished, interior
 floors and new master bedroom suite that was built on the main floor with its
 own large master bath that is handicap accessible & walk in closet. This home
                                                                                    has some work completed. Furnace is in, hot water heater still in box.
                                                                                    Electrical in and exterior walls insulated. Ceilings insulated and drywalled.            We have vacant lots
 is a Great deal for about half the price the homeowner has into it. Plus AuSable
 River access right around the corner. $79,900 # 081-11-0017GL
                                                                                    Full 12 Block Basement. A Great Opportunity to Finish as you please.
                                                                                    $69,000 # 081-09-0050GL
                                                                                                                                                                          starting at $1,600 and up!
42 • The Good Life - april 2011                                                                                                                                         thank your advertisers, they supply you with the good life!
                                                                          DRUG                     accept all
                                                                                                                      A friend of mine was
                               212 S. State St. Oscoda, MI 48750                                   Part A, B &
                                Family Owned Since 1939                                             D Plans         visiting a college, which
                                                                                                                        had those security
          GILBERT’S PRESCRIPTION SAVINGS CLUB                                                                         call boxes every few
 Compare to other store plans. 100’s of 30-day generics
    at $3.88 per prescription. See store for details.                                                                  hundred feet. If you
  Turn Your Photos into Greeting Cards with Our Digital Photo Center!                                              were wandering around
     Also See Our New Spring Line of Apparel                                                                          the campus at night
 website: www.gilbertdrug.com                                                        ph: (989) 739-7585              and felt uneasy about                                                             GIFT CERTIFICATES AVAILABLE
  email: info@gilbertdrug.com                                                        fax: (989) 739-5739                                                                                          “Providing a full line of beauty services from head to toe”
                                                                                                                   somebody following you,
                                                                                                                    for instance, you could
      NEW MEETING PLACE – UTILIZED SPACE                                                                            hit the button and have                                                     You laugh because I’m different, I laugh
  3424 S F-41 Mikado • Grand Opening April 1st, 2011                                                                a security officer come                                                           because you’re all the same.
  APRIL 1st IS THE GRAND OPENING OF UTILIZED SPACE                                              PUBLIC WELCOME     investigate immediately.
      which includes, N.E.M.I. Compassion Club, V’s Vibe, and Shawna’s Stuff. We will be
    open Wednesdays, Thursdays and Fridays, 11-6pm, Saturdays are closed to the public.
    Members Only. From 12-5pm on the 1st, We will be having $100 Certifications with Dr.
    Bob and the Certification Crew!! Thats 50% OFF!! April 13th We also will be having
   First Public Meeting at the New Location 6pm, Dr.Bob and the Certification Crew will be
     doing certifications! April 20th: NEW LOCATION CELEBRATION, Music, Prizes, Info,
                                                                                                                   On one of these phones
                                                                                                                    hung a sign that said,
                                                                                                                                                                                                  Male’s Grocery
   and Pig Roast only For Members. Card Holders, Call today to get Utilized!! Call Bethany at
  989-278-9129. April 22, The Earth Day Event!! Think Green! Accepting Donations for our
  Veterans. Clothes, food, utensils, anything that we can get to help the men and women who
                                                                                                                       “Out of Order.”
                                                                                                                                                                                                  Groceries • Beer • Wine • Liquor
                        risked their lives years ago to protect our country!

 NE. Michigan Medical Marijuana Compassion Club
                                                                                                                   Underneath it someone                                                              Lottery • Gas • Propane
                                                                                                                   had scrawled. . . “Keep
    Contact Bethany at 989-278-9129 • e-mail: utilizedspace@hotmail.com
                                                                                                                         Running!”                                                               Automotive Supplies • Bait & Tackle
   Where we can help you with your medical marijuana issues                                                                                                                                           Ice • Hunting Supplies
                                                                                                                   At the diner, my breakfast                                                    6811 Long Rapids Rd., Alpena               989-356-1097
                                                                                                                     arrived with only three
                                                                                                                    sausages instead of the
                                                                                                                    usual four. The waitress                                                      Our minister announced that admission to a
                                                                                                                    explained that the cook                                                       church social event would be six dollars per
                                                                                                                   had dropped one and was                                                                           person.
                               “Mr. Garcia”                           “Vinney”                                     making another. Soon the                                                        “However, if you’re over 65,” he said, “the
                              1-2 yrs, neutered                 7 months, neutered
                                                                                                                    cook dashed out of the
                              and is as soft as a                 and perfect in
                                                                                                                    kitchen. “Here you are,”
                                                                                                                                                                                                         price will be only five dollars.”
                                   bunny!!                         everyway!!
                                                                                                                     he announced. “It’s the                                                     From the back of the congregation, a woman’s
                                                                    “Blossom”                                             missing link!”                                                        voice rang out, “Do you really think I’d give you
                              1-2 yr old British
                                                                 3-4 months old and
                                                                 just beautiful!! She
                                                                                                                                                                                                       that information for only a buck?”
                             Shorthair, up to date
                                                                is up to date on shots,
                            on shots and ready for
                                                                   and she has been                                “The closest to perfection a
                                his new home.
                                                                                                                   person ever comes is when
                                                                                                                   he fills out a job application                                                 A man entered a bank with a rather large dog
 Volunteer Time at the Shelter! 1 or 2 Hours a week will help immensely!                                                      form.”                                                             on a leash. He asked if it was okay to bring his
    Please call us at 736-PETS for more information.                                                                            – Stanley J. Randall                                                           pet into the building.

  Please Help! – Donations Needed for Food, Blankets, Litter, Toys, etc.
                                                                                                                                                                                                The teller said, “Yes, as long as he doesn’t make
                                                                                                                                                                                                                    a deposit.”

                                                                                                                                                                                                 Cute is when a person’s personality shines through their
                                                                                                                   Solution from page 10
                                                                                                                                                                                                looks. Like in the way they walk, every time you see them
                                                                                                                      (2) Medium 9x9
                                                                                                                                                                                                          you just want to run up and hug them.
                                                                                                                    9       6       4           7       3       8       1       5       2
                                                                                                                    7       5       2           9       1       4       3       6       8
                                                                                                                    3       1       8           5       6       2       7       4       9         ALL RISK INSURANCE
                                                                                                                    5       7       1           4       9       3       2       8       6         2213 US 23 S., ALPENA, MI 49707 • 989-358-8400
                                                                                                                    4       2       9           6       8       7       5       3       1          WITH WARM WEATHER AHEAD,
                                                                                                                    8       3       6           2       5       1       9       7       4               WE COVER IT ALL!
             FRIDAY, APRIL 1st, 7:30pm
                                                                                                                    6       9       3           1       4       5       8       2       7                   Tickets? Lapse? No Problem!
                                                                                                                    2       4       5           8       7       9       6       1       3                         Immediate Coverage –
               Auctioneer Shawna Scott
 SATURDAY, APRIL 16th, 10am: Auctioneer Debbie K. Jordan
                                                                                                                    1       8       7           3       2       6       4       9       5                      Low Down Payments
                                                                                                                                                                                                   Auto – Motorcycles – Boats – RV’s – ATV’s
         Schedule As of Press Date – Call Ahead to Confirm Auction Times
                                                                                                APRIL 1st
                                                                                                                   Solution from page 30                                                           Mobile Home (no matter the age)
  Antique Furniture, Tools and Household Items                                                                                                                                                    Rec. Vehicles – Commercial Vehicles – SR22
                                                                                           FEATURED ITEM:
                                                                                            1922 stained glass
                                                                                                                      (2) Easy 12x12
   Sports Memorabilia • NASCAR Collectibles                                               window 76”x28” and
                                                                                          other smaller windows     c       8   4       2       7       5   9       a   3   1       6       b
                                                                                                                    a       b   9       3       6       1   c       4   7   8       5       2
                                                                                                                                                                                                 I hadn’t recorded a greeting yet on my
                                                                                                                    1       6   7       5       2       b   3       8   9   c       4       a      new answering machine, so when my
                                                                                                                    b       9   c       a       8       4   5       6   2   7       3       1   mother came to visit, I asked her to tape
                                                                                                                    3       5   b       1       a       8   2       9   6   4       c       7
                                                                                                                    9       7   8       c       b       6   4       5   1   a       2       3    “This is Marcia’s mother,” my machine
 If you have a barn full of items and don’t know
     where to start, call us – we’ll come look!
                                                                                                                    4       a   2       6       1       3   7       c   8   5       b       9
                                                                                                                                                                                                announced. “Marcia is an only child; she
                                                                                                                    8       1   a       9       3       c   6       b   4   2       7       5
  11904 US-23 South, Downtown Ossineke                                                                              2       4   6       b       5       9   8       7   a   3       1       c    never writes, she never calls. So why
                                                                                            Mon-Fri 9am-6pm
                 989-471-1400                                                              Saturday 9am-Noon
                                                                                                                    5       c   3       7       4       a   1       2   b   6       9       8   not give me a buzz? I’d be happy to talk
         www.huronauctionhouse.com                                                         (Except Auction Days)                        www.sudoku-puzzles.net
                                                                                                                                                                                                         to you. My number is...”
                                                                                                                   Solution from page 33
                                                                                                                      (2) Hard 16x16
                                                                         BRIAN ANKNER                              2    1   e   g   5       a       b   c   6   8   4   f   9   d   7       3
                                                                                                                   c    8   f   4   2       d       7   e   1   a   3   9   6   g   5       b
                                                                                                                   7    6   a   5   3       f       9   g   b   c   d   e   1   4   8       2
                                                                                                                   9    b   3   d   1       6       8   4   g   2   7   5   c   e   a       f
                                                                                                                   d    c   b   e   a       2       6   8   3   1   9   7   5   f   4       g

                                                                                                                   4    9   6   1   b       7       d   3   f   g   5   2   a   8   e       c
                                                                                                                   f    7   2   8   e       g       4   5   c   6   a   d   b   9   3       1

                                                                                                                   g    3   5   a   9       1       c   f   8   e   b   4   2   6   d       7

                                                                                                                                                                                                     Larry’s Collision, Inc.
                                                                                                                   6    f   9   3   c       5       g   7   a   4   e   b   8   2   1       d
                                                                                                                   a    d   8   7   f       e       2   b   9   5   1   3   g   c   6       4
                                                                                                                   e    4   c   2   6       9       1   d   7   f   8   g   3   a   b       5

                                                                        201 S. Second St.                          5
                                                                                                                                                                                            8            TRUCK AND AUTO ACCESSORIES
    All Work Done in Smoke
                                                                           Lincoln, MI                             b
                                                                                                                                                                                                         Free Estimates – Free Loaner Cars
          Free Shop!                                                    1-989-736-7467                             8    5   4   c   g       b       f   6   e
                                                                                                                                                                7   2   1   d   3   9       a
                                                                                                                                                                                                 1212 U.S. 23 North, Alpena               (989) 354-5577
now find “the good life press” on facebook                                                                                                                                                   The Good Life - april 2011 • 43

For the Kids
                                                                                            Word Search

                                                                                                                                                     No wise man ever wished
                                                                                                        Pie in the Sky

                                                                                                                                                          to be younger.
                                                                                           APPLE                        PEACH
                                                                                           BANANA CREAM                 PEANUT BUTTER
                                                                                           BOSTON CREAM
                                                                                           COCONUT                      PUMPKIN

                                                                                           CREAM                        RASPBERRY
                                                                                           GRASSHOPPER                  RHUBARB
                                                                                           GREEN TOMATO
                                                                                           KEY LIME
                                                                                           LEMON                        STRAWBERRY                   “Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all
                                                                                           MERINGUE                     SWEET POTATO                  four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine,
                                                                                                                                                                      sugar and fat.”

      Unscramble                                                                             Kids craft
                                                                                                                                                                                            – Alex Levine

       the Words
                                                                                               Cotton Ball Bunnies
                                                                                       Kids activities should always be supervised by an adult.
             Spring is Here!!!

                                                                                                                                                                               INTO ACTION
                                                                                      WHAT YOU NEED:
    1. WOFSLRE____________________                                                    Cotton balls
                                                                                      Foam (polystyrene) egg
    2. SRWHSEO___________________                                                     White chenille stem (pipe cleaner)
                                                                                      Thicker pink chenille stem (pipe cleaner)                           APPLIANCE & TV SALE
    3. ASBLBAEL____________________                                                   Wiggle eyes
                                                                                      Small pink pom-pom                                                Refrigerators                           Ranges               TV 55”
                                                                                      Thin wire
    4. NGDAERGIN__________________
                                                                                      Wire cutters                                                            at                                  at                   at
    5. KJATESC_____________________
                                                                                                                                                              $399 $299 $1099
    6. NPAOLYDGRU________________                                                     Fabric or lace                                                     FREE DELIVERY & HAUL AWAY
    7. EGRNE______________________
                                                                                      HOW TO MAKE IT:
                                                                                      Glue cotton balls on a foam egg for tail and
                                                                                                                                                         TAWAS SUPPLY & APPLIANCE
                                                                                      feet.                                                                                    Your Home Appliance & TV Center
    8. LPDSUDE____________________
                                                                                      Bend white pipe cleaner around a thicker pink
                                                                                      pipe cleaner for the ears. Stick a pair at the
                                                                                                                                                           989-362-2388 • 1730 US23, E. Tawas • 1-800-510-3526
                                                                                      top of the egg.
               7. GREEN, 8. PUDDLES                                                   Add wiggle eyes, a small pink pom-pom nose                       Love is a fire. But whether it is going to warm
           5. JACKETS, 6. PLAYGROUND,                                                 and thin wire whiskers.                                          your heart or burn down your house, you can
           3. BASEBALL, 4. GARDENING,                                                 Place on a cardboard circle with hole cut out                                        never tell.
            1. FLOWERS, 2. SHOWERS,                                                   for base of egg to rest in. The cardboard can
                                                                                      be covered with fabric or lace.
                                                                                                                                                            NEDO’S FARM MARKET
                                                                                                                                                             & DRIVING RANGE
A prosecuting attorney            A man inserted an advertisement in the                                                                                                            4686 F-41, Mikado, MI 48745
 just could not believe                                                                                                                                                               Your Full Service Market
                                           classified: Wife Wanted.                                                                                        Special                 Sunday 9am-9pm • Mon-Sat 9am-10pm
that a jury had found                                                                                                                                                                                                       Spring
   the defendant not
                                 The next day he received over 100 letters!!                                                                              Dog Foods
                                                                                                                                                                                        Specializing in * Fresh Produce         Beer
         guilty.                 They all said the same thing, “You can have                                                                                                      Convenience Foods * Hardware * Beer * Wine Specials
                                                    mine!”                                                                                                 Wild Bird
                                                                                                                                                                                  Liquor * Lotto * Pet Supplies * Wildlife Feed
                                                                                                                                                            Feed        GREENHOUSE OPENS MOTHERS DAY WEEKEND
 Astonished, he asked                                                                                                                                         We Accept Visa &                       Wayne & Marta Nedo
  the jury foreman,
                                                                                                     Win a $25.00
                                 Just sliced my thumb on a frosting can. It was

                                                                                                                                                                Master Card         (989) 736-6649       proprietors
   “How could you
 possibly have found
                                                                                                   Gift Certificate                                                ou
                                                                                                                                                       We Hope Y Have Enjoyed This
 this man innocent?”
                                                                                                                                                      Issue of The Good Life. Don’t Miss
                                                                                                                                                        a Single Joke - Subscribe Today!
                                                                                            The Easter Bunny Lost 5 Carrots
 The foreman replied,
                                           worth it....it was chocolate.

      “Insanity.”                                                                            They are hidden in the pages of

                                                                                                    The Good Life Press!
    The perplexed                                                                                  Look for the 5 carrots
prosecutor asked, “All
   twelve of you?”                                                                The write down the name of the 5 businesses and                                                for Just $24.00 a Y
                                                                                                                                                                                          $30.00    ear!!!
                                                                                   the pages you found them on and send them to
                                                                                   Alpenajimmy 6733 Lappan Rd. Alpena MI 49707 or email to              Name________________________________
   ANSWERS TO                                                                                     jimmyalpena@gmail.com
                                                                                           All entries must be received by April 18, 2011               Street Address_________________________
        from page 21                                                              Nothing to buy one entry per family in case of tie a winner will
                                                                                               be drawn from the correct entries.
        1. Terminator 2                                                                                                                                 City______________ State___ ZIP_______
                                                                                  Include: YourName_____Address_____ Phone____ Email____
      2. The Green Mile                                                                   1. Star Staffing           page # __________
   3. Star Trek: First Contact                                                                                                                           Fill out the form above and enclose your check or money order for
                                                                                                                                                         Fill out the form above and enclose your check or money order for
                                                                                          2. ___________             page # ___________
                                                                                                                                                             $24.00 to get 12 monthly issues delivered right to your door.
                                                                                                                                                             $30.00 to get 12 monthly issues delivered right to your door.
    4. Gone with the Wind                                                                 3. ___________             page # ___________
                                                                                                                                                                              Send form and payment to:
                                                                                                                                                                              Send form and payment to:
    5. Strangers on a Train                                                               4. ___________            page # ___________
                                                                                                                                                          The Good Life Press, P.O. Box 92, Lincoln, MI 48742
                                                                                          5. ___________________ page # ___________
          6. Memento                                                                                                                                                                                                            MAR10
44 • The Good Life - april 2011                                                                                          thank your advertisers, they supply you with the good life!

Hit The Road! Take a Drive in Your Next Car!
     Many Fresh Trades Not Pictured – For more info, go to deanarbourfm.com

          All les                                                                                                                                                                                            M
                                                                                                                                                                                                          Uni ost
           ic                                                                                                                                                                                                t
        Veh viced                                                                                                                                                                                         Ow s One
        Ser                             2003 Lincoln Town Car Cartier               2009 Chevrolet Silverado 1500               2007 Ford F-150
                                                                                                                          Lariat, 48,769 mi $23,989
                                                                                                                                                               2006 Chevrolet Monte Carlo LT
                                                                                                                                                                  50,100 miles $11,495
                                           65,467 miles $12,995                        36,733 miles $19,895
                                           4.6L V8 auto U2906                          4.8L V8 auto U2792                4WD 5.4L V8 auto P2809                   3.5L V6 auto U2904

    2008 Ford Fusion SE I4                 2009 Ford Fusion SE V6                         2008 Lincoln MKZ                 2010 Ford Taurus SEL                    2008 GMC Envoy SLE//2                 2008 Ford Fusion SEL V6
   One owner, 25,619 mi $15,995         One owner, 13,910 mi $17,995                    One owner $20,995              Leather, 18,105 mi $23,995                One owner, 37,103 mi $22,995           One owner, 54,045 miles $15,500
      2.3L 4-cyl P2940                      3.0L V6 auto P2954                          3.5L V6 auto P2922                3.5L V6 auto P2784                      4WD 4.2L 6-cyl P2959                   3.0L V-6 auto P2832

2007 Ford Explorer Eddie Bauer                  2010 Ford Escape XLT                    2006 Ford Explorer XLT 4.6L     2001 Lincoln Town Car Executive         2005 Mercury Grand Marquis GS         2010 Ford E-350 Super Duty
 52,460 mi, like new $22,989                    14,885 miles $21,500                             $9,995                             $7,995                                $9,995                     12 pass, 15,713 miles $19,995
 4WD 4.6L V8 auto U2798                         2.5L 4-cyl auto P2921                     4.6L V8 auto U2852                4.6L V8 auto U2948                     4.6L V8 auto U2950                    5.4L V-8 auto P2896

      2009 Ford F-150                       2007 Ford F-150 SuperCrew                2010 Ford E-350 Super Duty             2007 Ford Focus ST                   2009 Ford Flex Limited                2008 Chevrolet Uplander LS
One owner, 34,417 mi $24,995                 One owner $21,995                     12-pass, 21,844 miles $19,995          48,950 miles 11,995                  One owner, 15,483 mi $29,995                 Only $12,995
   5.4L V8 auto P2941                        5.4L V8 auto U2934                        5.4L V8 auto P2920                    2.3L 4-cyl U2931                   AWD 3.5L V-6 auto U2869                 3.9L V-6 auto U2888

     2009 Ford Focus SEL
  One owner, leather, moon roof,            2007 Ford Edge SEL Plus                      2008 Ford F-150              2007 Ford Explorer Eddie Bauer V6          2008 Ford F-150 SuperCrew           2005 Ford Explorer Limited 4.6L
       15K miles $14,500                Panoramic roof, only 33k miles $21,500        One owner, only $19,995               One owner $19,995                  37,545 mi, One owner $28,995                     $12,495
 FWD 2.0L 4cyl auto U2715                AWD 3.5L V6 auto U2803                      4WD 4.6L V-8 auto P2837                4.0L V6 auto U2951                  4WD 5.4L V-8 auto U2814                 4.6L V8 auto U2961

        2010 Ford Mustang                 2008 Chevrolet Impala LS                      2008 Chevrolet Tahoe             2008 Ford Taurus Limited               2008 Chevrolet Impala LT 3.5L        2010 Ford Explorer Eddie Bauer
Leather, one owner, 23,836 mi $20,995   One owner, 21,436 mi $14,495                   33,800 miles $26,995            One owner, leather, 42,247 mi $17,995       One owner $14,995                     22,822 miles $27,995
     4.0L V6 auto P2566                    3.5L V6 auto P2927                          5.3L V8 auto U2808               FWD 3.5L V6 auto U2777                     3.5L V6 auto P2926                     4.0L V6 auto P2932

    2008 Chevrolet Trailblazer                          2007 Ford Escape XLT                    2009 Mercury Grand Marquis LS                       2008 Ford F-150 SuperCrew                  2009 Mercury Sable Premier
LT, moon roof, one owner $18,995                 61,830 mi, Moon roof, one owner $14,995           24,217 miles $16,495                              34,579 miles $28,995                         One owner $18,995
    4WD 4.2L 6-cyl P2860                          4WD 2.3L 4-cyl auto U2734                         4.6L V8 auto U2936                                5.4L V8 auto U2845                          3.5L V6 auto U2943

                                                      2010 Ford Focus SEL
         2005 Ford F-250                           One owner, leather, moon roof,               2004 Chevrolet Silverado 1500                       2009 Chevrolet HHR LT                        2010 Chevrolet Impala LS
       One owner, $13,989                               9,453 mi $15,995                                  $11,995                               35,227 miles One owner $14,989                21,477 miles One owner. Only $15,695
                                                    2.0L 4-cyl auto U2908                          5.3L V8 auto U2790                           FWD 2.2L 4cyl auto P2743                           3.5L V6 auto P2635
         5.4L V8 P2874

           2010 Ford F-150                            2006 Cadillac DTS Lux II                      2010 Ford Focus SEL                              2007 Cadillac DTS Lux II                       2003 GMC Envoy
31,407 mi, One owner, long box HD $26,995             One owner, 58,604 mi $18,995              One owner, leather $15,995                            One owner $18,995                        Leather, moon roof $9,995
          5.4L V8 U2877                                4.6L V8 auto P2953                            2.0L 4-cyl U2905                                 4.6L V8 auto P2958                         4.2L V6 auto P2873

                                                                                   Sale ends June 5, 2010
                                                                                 Sale ends April 15, 2011

                                                                    989-362-3489 • 1-800-610-3781                                                                               FOLLOW
                                                                                                                                                                                 US ON

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