VIEWS: 5 PAGES: 6 POSTED ON: 11/7/2011
What is the outcome of believing in negative self-scripts? The outcome of believing in negative self-scripts can include: Over-dependence on the approval of others: You have an inordinate need to receive positive reinforcement or approval for what you are, how you act, and what you do from others, with an inability to be self-rewarding. Lack of self-esteem and low self-concept: You have an inability to believe in your own worth, inability to see any value in your own life, a poor self-image and a lack of belief in your competency to succeed in life. Immobilization: A rigid belief system immobilizes you from taking risks in life, prevents you from wanting to make a change, freezes your feelings into a negative pattern, and convinces you that your only role in life is to be victimized by those from whom you cannot escape. Negativity: Your negative view of yourself leads you to see all of your world in a negative light. You begin to believe and act as a "loser." You see nothing in a positive light and can't be convinced that there is a better option in life. Pessimism: You no longer believe that you will succeed and are no longer willing to take an optimistic position as you look to your future. You can see only gloom and doom on the horizon. Self-Pity: You begin to feel so sorry for yourself and how life has treated you that you become your best "pity party" guest. You are so lost in your self-sorrow, regrets, remorse, sympathy and pity that you refuse to be shaken or changed. You begin to believe that no one will notice you if they can't feel sorry for you too. Cynicism: You take a "yes-but" cynical look at every suggestion for change in your life. You begin to doubt in the sincerity, kindness and love of others who are trying to help you. You create a barrier of cynicism to block them out, thus convincing yourself when they leave you that they really didn't care. The "Guard-All Shield'': You create an invisible shield, tough for others to see or to penetrate. People will approach you and try to get involved, but you zap them with your shield and they back away or turn and run. The shield is so subtle that at times you don't even know it exists, and you get confused by people pulling away from you. This shield can take the form of coldness, wise cracking, fear of being hurt, aloofness, unwillingness to change or take a risk, fear of being taken advantage of, fear of intimacy, fear of failure, fear of hurting others or any other feeling that keeps you from connecting emotionally with another person Fulfillment of the Prophecy: Because negative self-scripts predict the worst, you at some subconscious level work to achieve the worst and succeed in fulfilling the negative prophecy of: failure, rejection, loss, disapproval, or any other catastrophe or malady. It is a pattern of being self-destructive with one's life. Depression: Because of the anger, resentment, rage, hurt, disappointment, disillusionment and suffering you experience from your negative self-scripting you are a good candidate for firm and long-lasting depression. Your emotions can become so stuck, rigid, and constricted that you can be embedded into a deep sense of melancholy, blue funk and loss of hope. At this stage you are a candidate for mental health intervention before the depression reaches a despair level and you become even more self- destructive, possibly physically ill or suicidal. End Your Negative Thoughts Before we start this topic let's be clear that you cannot stop your negative thoughts all the time. It is a fact that sometimes you will be down and see the negative side of a situation or without even thinking your mind may respond to what is happening to you in a negative way. Negative self talk is an example of how we limit ourselves and stop any hope of a positive outcome by convincing ourselves that the negative view is appropriate. It almost certainly is not and serves no purpose other than confirming your fears and preventing you from daring to step out into the unknown, where success lives. So what can you do to end negative thoughts? I have a few simple suggestions for you to try. I gave a few ideas on the page about optimism and I suggest you check those out too. First tip: when you find yourself being negative, question what you've just said, ( or in the case of negative self talk what you have just told yourself). Ask yourself if it is really true that nobody likes you for example or that you have no friends, whatever it is question it and ask yourself to justify your statement. You'll see its not truth but a distorted negative view. Second tip: if you've just heard yourself say two or three negative things then stop a moment and try, (no matter how say one positive thing about the person or situation. There is nearly hard it is), to always a positive side somewhere. Third tip: if you're really down try focusing on what is in your life to be thankful for and make a list. This will lift your mood and instantly you will feel less negative. Becoming Fourth tip: list what you have achieved so far in your life and plan what else you want to do. more focused on where you have been and where you want to go will concentrate your mind on positive movement forward. Sixth tip: I find that one of the best things I can do to become more positive and inspired about life is to read good inspirational books which can give you real strength and motivation to move on with your life and end your negative thoughts and old thinking patterns which hold you back. I have a great page filled with my suggestions for books which will help you enormously - check them out and get reading today! Fifth tip: build your confidence so that you will feel more positive towards whatever you need to do - here are some great tips to build your self confidence o o BUILD UP YOUR SELF CONFIDENCE. o o o Look for a model (someone who has self confidence) and learn from them. What is it they do that makes them confident, how do they act? o o Focus on your achievements rather than your failures. If you do find yourself thinking about how you failed then look at what you managed to do right and how you could correct what you did next time. o o Learn how to feel good about yourself o Act as if you were self confident! You will feel more confident. o Focus on who you are and what you like about yourself. Why do your friends like you? o Prepare thoroughly for any task so that you can be sure you are ready. o Work on any skills you need to do what you want, you can never be overtrained or over skilled for any challenge in life. o Work on your relaxation skills o o Always smile and stand up straight o o Set reachable goals for yourself and break difficult tasks into smaller steps o o Reward yourself when you succeed no matter how small the achievement o o Finally, I advise you not to be too competitive or compare yourself with others. Be yourself and accept that life is not a race against others but your self confidence depends on you and your personal needs.
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