Bullshit
Sex & the Single Lycra (what if that guy's dick is bigger than mine?), but rather is kept in
the non-penetrating and thusly unthreatening (within the fantasy) realm
and Spandex Wearing
of the lesbian. So, the standard male lesbian fantasy is actually a whacked
out (no pun intended) heterosexual fantasy. Weird, huh?
Stilleto Heel Fetishest. All Men like to think they are the Sultans of their neighborhood,
attracting multiple partners by their mere scent, an erotic blend of danger,
Men and the Lesbian Obsession strength, and good msucle tone. The fact that men are genetically
By Jeff Somers programmed to seek multiple partners while women seek to hold on to
one solitary male protector (I will await the flame letters with relish on this
one) is a pretty well-traveled fact of life. Of course, everything in this
world is designed to thwart our attempts to found harems, and we men
are doomed to lives of quiet disappointment, not to mention monogamy.
But we'd like to think, of course, that one whiff of our manly
NEW YORK - If you haven't had this conversation, you will: phermones would send any woman into hormone overdrive, and thence
the lesbian fantasy. Two facts to consider:
FEMALE: (Smirking, because she already has her own infallable 1. The women in these fantasies are NOT lesbians. If you
opinion about this) Why do men like lesbians so much? wanted to be fancy about it, you might more accurately say they were
ME: (Unsure if revealing knowledge of subject will result in bisexual, but at the core I don't think that's true, either. These fantasy
physical harm) Uhh.....what are "lesbians"? women are just regular hetero chicks who have been so overwhelmed
with macho vibes that they immediately jump the nearest living thing.
I suppose it can't be argued, men in general seem to be obsessed That's the implication, and that's why they are so immensely attractive to
with female homosexuality. And, trust me, the more you protest your men: if you walk in on two chicks in lycra miniskirts Doing It on the
disinterest the more your girl friends will give you that what a lying couch, chances are they would even deign to screw you, they're so
prick look that women learn at such an early age. It isn't an easy turned on. Consider: at least three-fourths of the time, these lesbian
argument to win, after all, when Howard Stern and his minions are out there fantasies end in a more conventional heterosexual meeting of the uglies,
farting out their lesbian fantasies on a daily basis, and the video stores are and are often presented simply as a variation of the Group Sex Goings
filled with x-rated evidence of the lesbian cache. My own tender and On, a break from the hard-on tedium of straight sex.
innocent self aside, it is a bona-fide phenomenon amongst men: women 2. Real lesbians give heterosexual men the screaming heebie-
loving women. jeebies. Whether we're talking buzz-cut butches or lipsticked lesbians
Okay, so the phenomenon is established. If you're a man reading in tight skirts, straight men take one look at the pall of complete
this, you've probably experienced this first-hand (no pun intended). If disinterest these women emit (not to mention possible hostility) and feel
you're a woman, you've probably watched some boyfriend go limp and themselves shriveling. The point is, I suppose, that real lesbians do not
panting with lust at the sight (or thought) of lesbians. We know it's out wish to have sex with men, and therefore would not appear in male
there, the only question is why? Naturally, I'm pretty sure I have the fantasies. Men, as a rule, do not fantasize about anything that they could
answer. And it has absolutely nothing to do with true female never have sex with. You can call us a lot of names, but we're pretty
homosexuality, which we will refer to as the Dyke Factor. Men actively sensible about that. If you call fantasizing about Cows and Dogs
fear true lesbians, so what they fantasize about are not trues lesbians, sensible.
but rather a male construct based on the meager bits of information men
have about that lifestyle. Editor's note: this should in no way be taken as a wimpy admittance of male
inferiority, otherwise known as Alan Alda Syndrome. I firmly believe women to be as
What the male lesbian fantasy is about is power and domination lame as men, if, perhaps, in different ways, and do not buy into this "battle of the
and control. Not of lesbians, but of their own heterosexual counterparts. sexes" bullshit. We all need each other to get through this meaningless existential hell
The participants in the male lesbian fantasy are heterosexual women who called life, why bother arguing whose got the better biology, instincts, or ability? Just
are painted as so overcome with lust that they'll screw anything, even jump in the pool and start the ballet, kids, and quit whining about having better
choreography.
each other -but the picture of the wanton and adventurous woman is not
tainted by envisioning her with other males, which would be a threat