Jenessa Williams
ENG W 206 Creative Writing
Poetry Assignment
Prof: Amy Locklin, IUPUI
November 16, 2009
The Struggle
On the way to tragedy, the haunting memories flooded inside her, and outside sanity
she denied, but knew her pain was self induced, tortured by remembering.
She mourned her family, painfully alone, never complete.
Orphaned before maturing, they destroyed all her loyalties when they died.
She retreated from those who had the audacity to love her,
The threat of losing someone else terrified her.
Cold and woman. Through her life are gut-wrenching goodbyes
Damaged heart, guarded wearily in a lover’s embrace.
She cheated, she was deceitful, even to herself.
Especially to herself, knowing better yet to disturbed to care.
She warned others sometimes,
to scare them foolishly, avoiding the commitments and the love before “we” began
Hiding from the real world, really.
Relationships, always rounds of deceitful games, her lovers lost to her
Eventually they all gave up.
And she tortured herself.
Inevitably on her path to destruction, she met negative influences, disguising the end
game—
Alcohol poured from the kegs and the bottles, drowning her in poison.
Others dealt the blows of a lifelong disease by pushing drugs
for a lifestyle.
They were so disgustingly proud of this.
Recklessly, she drifted from her friend’s lives, she has fallen hard
yet she thinks the drugs have given her reprieve.
Dreams from her former soul, sweet childhood innocence fading,
losing everything. Memories outweigh the present, scarring her heart.
She dreaded her eyes closing, the reality of despair, suffocating powers
crush her. But in the morning, she couldn’t resist the urge, she was an addict
and after she used, a rippling lasting effect
changed the scary world, she was comfortably numb
She screwed everyone shamefully, they’re rightfully bitter.
They couldn’t help but to think that her life was over.
Drugs had her captive, controlling her mind, body and soul
She wanted a change, but she couldn’t she thought.
She tried killing herself, but her ex and their friends intervened
Entering the hospital, she cried softly, melting in the lights.
Deep seeded issues. Demons attacking or getting destroyed.
She disembarked from the lifestyle, the constant drama of her habit
and pondered her fresh start in life, to change this stories ending.
Tomorrow is the day world, she thought.
Recovery happens slowly, bravely in baby steps.
People change only when they do so by choice, a healthy one compared alongside
the alternative.
Wanting her by the sinning soul, the devil came into the unsteady picture
banking on unforgivable actions to solidify her eternity.
In opposition beautiful angels descended on the woman gracefully,
She gladly focused now, on good over evil, on reclaiming her life.
What the angels want is to heal her completely,
changing many fates, not just her own