Are you being bullied?
Student Resource
Are you being bullied?
If you are being hit, pushed around, having your things damaged or stolen, or being
forced to hand over money, then the answer is yes. You don't have to put up with
bullying!
Why do people bully?
Bullies do what they do for many different reasons. Sometimes they have problems of
their own and take it out on others. Some bullies are just scared that they might be
picked on and try to look tough. They might even be being bullied themselves by older
children or by an adult.
What to do if you are being bullied:
1. If you're being bullied you don’t have to put up with it, no matter what the bullies might have made you
believe. Don't feel you have to deal with the problem alone. Tell a friend, parent, teacher, counselor,
administrator, and keep telling them until someone listens and does something to help you. Don't give
up. There's nothing wrong with asking for help, and don't hit back at the bullies as you might end up in
trouble yourself.
2. Ignore people who call you names and, if you can, walk away. Try to avoid places where you could
be isolated and if you are being bullied on the way to school, try to walk with friends. It also helps if
you can look confident, so stand tall and believe in yourself.
3. If you are being verbally bullied, try saying "no" or "go away" in a loud and firm voice. Or imagine that
there's a bubble around you that nothing can get through, and respond to name-calling and taunts
with vague things like “maybe”.
4. Keep a diary and write down everything that is said or that happened to you. It’s important to include
days, times, locations, along with any witnesses. Also try and write down how you felt at the time and
afterwards. But make sure you only write down things that really happened. This will help you to
create a clear picture of what is happening to you and how it is impacting your life. You may need to
share this with someone as evidence later.
Bullying includes:
Name calling Making fun of you in a cruel way
Making things up to get you into trouble Stealing your money
Hitting, pinching, biting, pushing and shoving Taking your friends away from you
Taking things away from you Spreading rumors
Damaging your belongings Threatening and intimidation
Tell someone:
If you are being physically bullied, then you must tell someone right away. Don't fight to keep money or
possessions because it's better to be safe and sound than get hurt trying to keep them.
If you don't want to talk to your parents, a friend, or someone at school, then there are other people you can
call. If you want, you can call a help hotline called the crisis clinic (1-866 TEENLINK).
If you don't feel you can do it in person it might be easier to write a note to your parents explaining how you
feel, or perhaps confide in someone outside the immediate family, like a grandparent, aunt, uncle or cousin.
Your counselor needs to know what is going on so try to find a time to tell him/her when it won't be
noticeable. You could fall behind on schoolwork or need help some emotional support. If you don't feel you
can do that, then go to the health room and speak to the school nurse.
When you Talk with an Adult About Being Bullied remember:
When you describe what has happened don’t exaggerate. If anything you say turns out to be
untrue it throws doubt on everything else.
Make sure that the adult understands the importance of the matter and how upset you are.
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Are you being bullied?
Student Resource
Ask the school adult about the proper action to take. If you feel that something being suggested
would make things worse, you should say so, and explain why it will not help.
Be prepared to make your own suggestions on what would be helpful.
Remember that some aspects of what you tell can be treated confidentially, but there are some
things, which must be discussed with other trusted professionals in order to ensure the safety and
well being of those involved.
It’s also important for you to know that they school may not go into detail with you about any
punishment that a bully may receive. The important thing you should be that the situation is
addressed in a way that the bullying stops.
Keep Yourself Safe
Try to stay in safe areas of the school during breaks and lunchtime where there are plenty of other
people. Bullies don't like witnesses. If you are hurt at school, tell an administrator or a teacher
immediately and ask for it to be written down. Make sure you tell your parents.
On the school bus, try to sit near the driver, or if it's a city bus, by other adults. If you have to walk part
of the way, and you're afraid of being ambushed, then vary your route, try to leave home and school a
bit later or a bit earlier, or see if you can walk with other people who live near you, even if they're older
or younger.
If you have a cell phone, be careful whom you give your number to. If you receive threatening phone
calls or emails then tell your parents. It is a criminal offence to send offensive or threatening phone
messages and if it continues, it can also amount to harassment. The police can, and do, take action.
Think about martial arts classes so you are confident and can look after yourself if necessary.
Bullying is very upsetting and if you feel you can't cope, tell your parents and go to see your doctor.
Many doctors are very sympathetic about the effects of bullying and yours may be able to assess
any physical complications to your health due to the added stress.
If people are making nasty remarks about you then it may be because they are jealous. Perhaps you're
better looking than they are or work harder or maybe the teachers like you better. One way of dealing with
remarks is simply to say ...”yeah, whatever”, ...each time so that you show them it isn't having the effect of
upsetting you in the way they think. Try to avoid eye contact with them so they can't see how upset you are
and you can't see their sneers.
The bullies will have worked out what buttons to push to make you upset. They may make remarks
about:
Your weight If you work hard If you have dyslexia or
Your looks If you have a disability dysphasia
The color of your hair If you are a different religion, If you’ve been absent due to
Your family color or culture illness
Your schoolwork If you wear glasses or a
Your popularity hearing aid
Making Friends
Being bullied can make you feel very lonely and you might think you don’t have any friends. You're
probably not the only one who spends lunch on your own. Keep your eyes open. To make friends you
have to be open and friendly and take some risks. If you see someone else on their own try to start a
conversation, about anything (schoolwork, if you think they might live near you, anything at all). This gives
them a chance to say something back and you can try to continue the conversation. This isn’t always
easy because sometimes people aren’t nice back to you. Sooner or later you'll find a genuine friend who
shares similar interests as you and who likes you for yourself.
Sometimes bullies will take your friends away; perhaps your friends are afraid they'll also be bullied if they
hang around with you. It's always very upsetting when friends turn against you which is a good reason to
try to hang out with as many different people as you can, even those in different grades. If there's a
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Are you being bullied?
Student Resource
ringleader then it's possible that other people who used to be your friends probably still like you, but they
could be worried that if they are your friend they'll get bullied in the same way. One thing you could do is
talk with each of them individually; at a time when nobody else is around, and just hear them out. You
could try to get them into conversation about something like what they did over the weekend and then just
say that you used to be friends with them and you're not sure why that changed. You may find that they're
embarrassed and sheepish and don't really have an answer or that they would really like to still be your
friend.
BODY LANGUAGE
Body language tells a lot about people. If you’re trying not to be noticed, looking at the ground and darting
around the school, may be drawing attention to yourself. It makes you look defensive and vulnerable.
Think about the last time you walked into school. How did you feel?
Confident and powerful? Or timid and worried?
How did you look to other people?
Were you striding out purposefully with your head up, looking forward, or were you trying to
make yourself look insignificant in the hope that the bullies wouldn’t spot you?
Try to step onto campus boldly. Send out a message of confidence, as though you’re the sort of person
who might answer back if the bully tries a smart remark. You may not be very confident but you’ll certainly
look it.
TAKING TIME OFF SCHOOL
Sometimes, when you’re very unhappy you might want to stay at home to avoid the bullies because you’re
afraid of what they might do to you. Always tell your parents how upset you are so they can help you. You
need their support. Every day you go to school is a triumph over the bullies because by being there you’re
showing them that you have every right to be there and that their behavior hasn’t upset you as they’d
hoped.
The problem is that if you start taking days off then you can quickly fall behind in school and that makes
life more stressful as well as possibly affecting your future.
ASK FOR HELP
Sometimes bullying can make you feel very unhappy and upset and that life isn't worth living but
you will come through it. Contact a trusted adult or the Crisisclinic at (1-866 TEENLINK) if you need
to talk with someone confidentially about your situation.
www.bullyonline.org
www.antibullying.net
www.childline.org.uk/bullying.asp
Teensource 2004
Are you being bullied?
Student Resource
Teensource 2004