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Hi Larry,



Thanks for your inquiry into my products. I make the finest quality bongs and pipes available today. Everything

from 6 foot water bongs to Femo clay pipes. If you are into the grass scene, you can ask anybody about my quality.



How often do you get baked?



Bye



Mike Derukie





pls kindly gave me your web site so that i can purchased the product from you and make the payment for you

pls.asap

best regard

larry.



Hi Larry,



Are you high right now? I don’t have a website. I thought you wanted to buy a waterbong?



They are the finest quality. Retail price is $430 each.



Let me know how many you want.





C-Ya



Mike



HELLO MIKE,

PLS KINDLY QUOTE ME THE TOTAL COST OF THIS ITEMS INCLUDING THE SHIPPING COST

THROUGH DHL EXPRESS,THANKS VERY FOR THE MAIL YOU SENT TO ME GOD WILL BLESS

YOU AND YOUR FAMILY FOR THAT AND GOD WILL ASLO PROVIDE FOR YOUR NEED AT ALL

TIME THANKS VERY MUCH ONCE AGAIN.THIS ARE THE ITEMS BELOWS...................



ITEMS NEEDED.......................

waterbong

QTY:10 PIECES



I WILL STILL ORDER AGAIN MORE JUST GAVE THE COST NOW.ASAP

BEST REGARD

LARRY.



Hello Larry,



10 bongs? Holy shit man you must really like to get fuckin’ baked! Don’t worry I am cool, I ain’t like a

pig or nothin’.



What kind of buds do you cats have over there?

Shipping is $650, so your total is $4950.00 US American dollars.



Bye



Mike





Did you send the payment yet, Mr. Wake-N-Bake?





dear mike,

quote the total cost including the shipping cost then i will paid instantly to you





Hey Man, I emailed you the total like 3 days ago. Are you super toasted or what? Shipping is $650, so your

total is $4950.00 US American dollars.



I just got some killer buds in, man. You wanna fuckin’ come over and smoke a couple?



Send me CASH, baby!



Mike



PLS KINDLY DO SOME FAVOUR FOR ME MIKE,PLS WANT YOU TO BUY ME SOME MOBILE

PHONE TO THE ITEMS THAT BOUGTH FROM YOU STORE PLS KINDLY DO THIS, I WILL GAVE

YOU THE SUM OF $400 DOLLARS FOR ROM AROUND FEES FOR THE HELP.PLS I KNOW YOU ARE

NOT DEALING WITH PHONE AND YOU DONT HAVE PHONE STORE,BUT I WANT YOU TO HELP

ME IMMEDIATLY YOU BUY THIS MAIL ME AND I WILL SENT THE PAYMENT INSTANLY TO YOU.

THE PHONE IS SONY ERINSSONY:P910i :QTY:5 PIECES.ASAP

BEST REGARD

LARRY.





Hi Larry Man,



What the fuck is up bud? You want me to fuckin’ steal a few phones for you? No problem! Maybe I should get

you a new keyboard too because your caps lock is stuck on you fucker.



I’ll sell you some kick ass stolen phones for $1000 each. OK, man?



I am so fuckin’ baked right now. I feel like a Bundt cake.



Bye man



Mike

What the fuck, Chuck? Do you want these freakin’ phones or what?



I’ve got 10 of the fuckers here. They are expensive.



How fuckin’ high are you, Chong?



Mike





HELLO MIKE,

THANKS VERY FOR THE MAIL YOU SENT TO ME PLS WHICH PHONE DID YOU BOUGHT FOR ME

PLS TELL ME AND ASLO THE TOTAL COST OF ALL, ASLO THE SHIPING CHARGE THROUGH DHL

EXPRESS,PLS HELP ME OUT AND ASLO THE $400 DOLLARS AM GAVE TO YOU AS ROM AROUND

FEES ASAP

BEST REGARD

LARRY.





Hey man, hows Mary Jane treating you today? I am so stoned I feel like fuckin’ Venus deMilo. How do you

think she got so baked without arms? Fuck.



Anyway, I have 10 Sony Ericcson phone at a cool K each. Thats 10 grand. Plus the bongs. Plus shipping. You

owe me $15,000.00



How the fuck are you going to pay for this shit?



c-ya



Mike





DEAR MIKE,

PLS KINDLY SENT THIS INFORMATION FOR ME SO THAT I CAN

DO

THE PAYMENT FOR YOU PLS GAVE THIS

NAME :

ID Card No.:

ADDRESS:

CITY:STATE:

ZIP CODE:

COUNTRY:

PHONE:

THIS PAYMENT WILL BE IN MONEY ORDER.ASAP

BEST REGARD

Hey man,



What the fuck is a money order? How the fuck do you order money?



Shit, order me up a fuckload, man.



I just cannonballed a quart of Mogen David. Now I feel like Mogen Puking. Oh man.



c-ya



Mike



HELLO MIKE,

PLS HAVE YOU BUT THIS PHONE PLS TELL ME THIS NOW AND WHAT PAYMENT DO YOU NEED

PLS TELL ME NOW.





Hey man, if you would drop the doob for a couple hours and pay attenton I already told you what payment.



Muthafuckin’ CASH, baby! U.S. green cash dollarinis. Do you comprende, muchacho?



Western Union is coolio for sending cash. You do have cash, right? You are not just fuckin’ around with me are

you?



Do you want these sweet Sony Ericcson P910i phones or what?



c-ya

Mike







HELLO MIKE,

FOR WESTERN NUION PAYMENT THEN GAVE ME THIS INFORMATION FOR YOUR PAYMENT PLS

THEN I DONT LIKE THOSE LANGUAGE YOU ARE USING TO CHAT WITH ME MIKE OK.



THE PAYMENT FOR YOU PLS GAVE THIS

NAME :

ID Card No.:

ADDRESS:

CITY:STATE:

ZIP CODE:

COUNTRY:

PHONE:

Hey man, sorry to offend you with my language. I won’t use any more Spanish.



Heres my fuckin’ deets so you can send me the cash. You should use Western Union not Western Nuion.



NAME : Mike Derukie

ID Card No.: 43

ADDRESS: 123 Phaque Street

CITY:STATE: Chicago IL

ZIP CODE:60606

COUNTRY: US

PHONE:1 900 484 8989



Send the cash today, OK, Man?





hello mike,

pls have you buy the phone pls tell me payment is on the way today pls i want to confirm,asap

best regard





Hi Harry John,



Hey man, wuzzuah? What are you talking about? I told you I had the fuckin’ phones man. I didn’t buy them, I

told you I stole them.



Send me the cash today or else I sell these fuckers on the street.



I am higher than giraffe pussy right now, man. I just ate a loaf of Wonder bread. Thats why they call it that,

because you get high and Wonder how you ate a whole loaf of fuckin’ bread.



c-ya



Mike





Hey Man,



I totally took a picture of some of

your merchandise so you know its

all good. I have 10 of the phones

and 10 bongs waiting to ship, so

you need to shit or get off the

fuckin’ pot. Get it? Pot?



hehehheeehheeeehee.



Snickercerly,



Mike

Yahoo! My Yahoo! Mail

Search

Welcome, craptastica

[Sign Out, My Account] Mail Home - Mail Tutorials - Help









Enter your search



Cameras MP3 Players Shoes Cell Phones Handbags



Mail Addresses Calendar Notepad What's New - Mail For Mobile - Upgrades - Options



Check Mail Compose Search Mail Search the Web





Previous | Next | Back to Messages Printable View - Full Headers



Delete Reply Forward Spam Move...





This message is not flagged. [ Flag Message - Mark as Unread ]

Folders [Add - Edit]

"Western Union Bid Pay" Add to

Inbox From:

Address Book Add Mobile Alert

Draft

To: craptastica@yahoo.com

Sent

Subject: Order Approved**CONFIRMATION LETTER**

Bulk [Empty]

[Empty] Date: Thu, 20 Oct 2005 16:14:36 +0200

Trash



What's your

Credit Score?



Online Degrees!

Nursing to MBA



Best card for

bad credit



$200k loan for

only $730/mo.!









Dear Mike Derukie,

Dear Mike Derukie,



Western Union Auction Payments has received your email address from Harry John to inform

you of the order to have a $15,000.00. Western Union Money OrderSM sent to you for:



Auction Item : Bongs

Auction Item : Mobile Phones



Please verify that the following address (as entered by the buyer) is correct.



Your Name : Mike Derukie

Address : 123 Phaque Street

City : Chicago

State : IL

Zip Code :60606

Country : US

Phone : 1 900 484 8989



This order is PENDING approval. Most orders are approved within 24 hours of being placed

however, there may be exceptions. Some items may be considered high risk because of the

item cost or description. These types of orders are subject to additional verification and may

take longer to approve. You will receive an Order Approved email from us when this order is

approved. You SHOULD NOT send this item to the buyer until you receive the confirmation

email informing you that the order has been approved.



If your address information is correct and you do not wish to register, this will in no way affect

the delivery of your payment once the order is approved.



Thank you for using Western Union Auction Payments. We look forward serving your online

auction payment needs in the future.



Sincerely,

Western Union Auction Payments



Hey Man, is your name like Larry or Harry? I got some payment notice from Harry John but your name is totally

Larry.



You should totally send me your fuckin’ mailing address so I can ship you the bongs, man. Dude! Man! You are

going to going to get so freaky baked. Like tuna casserole with M&Ms, man.



Let me know if you are hairy or Harry, OK, Larry? Where should I send the bongs?



If you live in Chicago I can drop the bongs off at your place and we can totally blaze on your stash. Are you holding,

man?



I made some hash brownies last night but when I woke up I forgot where I left them and then I found the empty

pan under the table. My freakin’ dog ate the whole load of them and I found him sleeping on the ceiling fan.

Whoah! Dude!



c-ya

Mike

--- harry john
Hello,



Thanks for your mail and i quite appreciate your mail.



The name is Larry John but the western union make the mistake, but there will be no problem with the name.



The correction will be made.



Here is the Shipping Address



38,Akinbaiye Street Opposite Palace

Isolo

Lagos, Nigeria

23401.



I will like you to get back to me with the tracking number of the goods.



Looking forward to reading your mail ASAP.



Thanks and Best Regards.

Larry.







Hey man, how hangs the hammer? Western Union must have goofed up your hotmail account too because the name

on there is Harry John. Those fuckers can’t get anything right.



Should I ship your bongs today? Or should I wait until I get the money transfer confirmation from Western Union?

Do you even know what a bong is you retard?



Today I was sucking oneies with my cat and the little fucker starts in on me with her “meow this, meow that”

bullshit. Then she ate a whole bag of Fritos and puked on my favorite tye-die poncho. So I put her outside and duct

taped up her cat door, so she’s out there with the “MEOW YOU, MEOWER!” and “I’M GONNA MEOW YOUR

MEOWIN’ FACE, MEOWHOLE!!” Fuck her.



Let me know whats up with Western Union, man.



c-ya

Mike





Dear Mike Derukie,



Western Union Auction Payments hereby congratulate you and at the same time informs

you once again that the Money OrderSM sent to you from Larry John has been Approved.

Money OrderSM : $15,000.00





Auction Item : Bongs

Auction Item : Mobile Phones

Please verify that the following address (as entered by the buyer) is correct again..





Name : Larry John

Address : 38, Akinbaiye Street Opposite Palace

City : Isolo

State : Lagos

Zipcode : 23401

Country : Nigeria



This order has been approved, we will send the above address payment in 5-7 business day.

You can now send the items to the buyer now. Money OrderSM, And if you have any question,

feel free to contact our customer service (customerservice@westernunionauctionpayment.

org).



Immediately you mail the tracking number/receipt of postage used to our customer care

centre,you will receive a notification letter which will inform of the date your money is going to

arrive.



***Note that payment can be sent to the seller only if the item purchased has been sent to the

buyer.***



Thank you for using Western Union Auction Payments. We look forward serving your online

auction payment needs in the future.



Sincerely,

Western Union Auction Payments.







--- harry john
Hello,



Thanks for your mail and i quite appreciate your reply.



I am sure the western union most have correct their mistake.



I will like you to ship the order (bongs and the phones) and get back to me with the tracking number via DHL

Express.



Looking forward to reading your mail ASAP.



Thanks and Best Regards.

Larry.

Hey man, whats the haps?



I don’t know what the fuck DHL is, man. It sounds like LSD backwards. and H took out S, man. Harsh.



So anyway, I shipped your bongs via UPS. Heres the tracking number. 1ZWW33084341432968. It might take a

day for the number to get in the system, so be cool, man.



Don’t be mad at me, but there was like a total problem with the phones. But don’t worry, I will send you some

kind of phones real soon, OK, man?



Have you ever, like totally been mezmerized by a potato? Or any variety of tuber for that matter? Fuckin’ think

about it, man!



c-ya



Mike





--- harry john
hello

pls i dont understand your what you mean ok,and which time do you sent the goods,let me hear from you ok,and

i have through with western union money transfer today then send me goods for me ok.asap

best regard

larry.







Hey man, don’t get pissed at me. I already told you that I sent your bongs. You need to go blaze, dude. Calm.



The phones I stole were not the right kind. When I opened the boxes, they were filled with Oreos. I am pretty

sure there was phones in there before. Maybe my fuckin’ cat traded them for drugs. I will ask her once she

calms down.



Do you want me to send the phone boxes with the Oreos?



c-ya



Mike



--- harry john


hello mike,

i want to ask you,if you have shipped the phone with your items that i bought from you pls tell me now,and let

me know from you and aslo dont speak that language with me again ok,asap

best regard

larry.

Hey bud, what’s your problem?



What fuckin’ language are you talking about now? English? You’re a trip, man. Take a lude, dude.



I told you what happened to the phones, OK? Its not a big deal. I sent you the bongs and thats what you really

wanted anyway. Remember, you came to me to buy BONGS. Geez man, lay off the smoke for a couple hours.



I’ve got some different phones coming in, man. I will totally send them to you. OK?



When do you think the Western Union payment will go through? Man?



c-ya

Mike





--- harry john


Hello,



Thanks for your mail and i quite appreciate your reply. I am sorry for the words. OK



I will like you to tell me the phones you got and get it shipped but meanwhile i don’t seems to understand

what this tracking is saying. The western Union will pay you immediately i receive the furking good tracking

number. I will like you to get back to me as soon as possible. Looking forward to reading your mail ASAP.



Thanks.

Regards.

Larry.





Hey man, what the furk? How the furk are you today? Furkin’ kick ass?



Hey man, I am like totally sorry for the hassles with the phones. I stole another bunch of camera phones last

night off the back of a truck. They are not Sony

Ericsons though. They are totally good camera

phones though. I attached a pic, take a look and

let me know if they are the kind you want. I can

totally ship them today.



Did you get your bongs yet? Are you going to get

nicely toasted today? I am. Last night I had a 4

pack of Sparks and wound up taking a dump on

the neighbors sidewalk. Then I paid a hooker $4

to smell it.



Let me know if you want the phones. I have 12

of them.



c-ya

Mike



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