e−Matchmaking: Can a Computer Find Love For You?
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e−Matchmaking: Can a Computer Find Love For You?
By Devlyn Steele
e−Matchmaking: Can a Computer Find Love For You? by Devlyn Steele
I logged on to a dating site the other day and was greeted by a large, flashing message. It promised
that if I took the time to answer a series of questions that they would find a "perfect match" for me.
Imagine that? All the work and worry of being single − gone! We truly have evolved! Not only can
computer programs manage the entire traffic system of a city and make chess grandmasters cry, but
now they can lead my perfect match right to my doorstep. I always wanted a Stepford wife, I hope it
comes assembled.
The recent trend in Internet Dating has been the use of a "computer personality test" of some sort.
Websites claim that these tests, usually developed by a "top psychologist", have the ability to
understand you and your needs through a series of questions. Confused? Lost in love? Problems
communicating? Don't worry, the Online Dating Hal 5000 can figure you out! In fact, when you're done,
this computer program will know your needs and desires better than you do.
Remember the Broadway play "Fiddler on The Roof"? You might not, it was the first Broadway play I
went to when I was seven. A song that always stuck in my head for some reason was "matchmaker,
matchmaker, make me a match..." The song starts as a plea to the matchmaker to bring true love
straight to the altar; someone beautiful, rich, intelligent, and perfect.
But by the end of the song, the singer realizes that the Matchmaker might not be up to the task. She
decides that "playing with matches, a girl can get burned".
So, do these tests really work?
Personality tests have a long history. Really, really smart guys with names like Freud, Maslov, Fromm,
and Jung developed respected psychological theories, and these theories are used as the basis for all
types of tests. "The Big Five" theory suggests that there are five dimensions of personality: openness
to experience, conscientiousness, extraversion, agreeableness, and neuroticism. Some popular
personality tests use this as a foundation. Others go the "Big Three" route, which does away with the
"openness" and "agreeableness" dimensions − mostly because it's easier to remember.
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e−Matchmaking: Can a Computer Find Love For You?
I joke a little about these theories, but the truth is that they've survived the test of time and there is a
ton of scientific research behind them. The real question is if these tests can be effective in applying a
theory to the complexity of a human being. Add to this the additional layer of meshing your answers
with another, equally complex person. That's a tall order.
People have impulsive behavior that simply can't be measured when they're sitting, relaxed and
introspective, taking one of these tests. Often our answers reflect our perfect (or hopeful) idea of
ourselves. Even if we are trying our best to be honest, our impulsive behavior in real−life situations can
be far different than we'd expect.
Another wildcard is attraction. We can meet someone who's empirically good−looking, has a similar
background, is kind and successful - and yet we're not attracted. Often we can't explain why we like
another person. It may be how they make us laugh, a crooked smile - even how they smell!
Sometimes little things that are immeasurable on their own can collectively make us attracted.
Human beings and our emotions and desires are far too complex, and a computer program can't solve
the riddles of our romantic lives. As Jung put it, "the meeting of two personalities is like the contact of
two chemical substances; if there is a reaction both are transformed". It sounds good, but even Jung
was hedging his bet when it comes to love. What will cause two individuals to react to each other?
Even the developers of the study of personality would not presume that a series of questions could
predict romance.
If you rely solely on matchmaking services, you are missing the entire beauty of online dating. The
beauty is opportunity. Online dating offers you an almost limitless opportunity to meet and date new
people. It gives you the time and space to find what best suits you. Going to a quality dating site that
isn't trying to sell you fantasy of finding your match for you will mean you will have a pool of millions of
singles to meet.
Treat matchmaking options as just another fun way to explore. It can serve as an ice breaker to start a
conversation, but don't expect them to be the answer to finding your perfect match. Keep all options
open and explore possibilities. As a unique individual, only can you know what works for you. You
need to develop skills to communicate and meet people. Developing both online and offline dating
skills is the best way to find the right relationship.
Next time you're brushing your teeth, take a look in the mirror. See that amazing person? That's your
matchmaker with a mouthful of toothpaste. Take charge of your life and get into action! Enjoy dating
and enjoy the process of discovery. Your experiences, both good and not−so−good, are essential to
finding the right person for you.
Devlyn Steele ("America's Leading Life−Coach") has been a public consultant and a private counselor
for over 15 years. Devlyn is a Relationship Coach, and Life−Coach, radio host, columnist, and
developer of toolstolife.com. His new program onlinedatingkit.com teaches Internet daters the skills
they need to find their perfect matches on their own.
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e−Matchmaking: Can a Computer Find Love For You?
Computer Memory is an Essential Part of the Computer
By James Hunt
Computer memory is an essential part of the computer because it allows it to store vital information
that you will need. Whether the information is in the form of pictures, data or sounds, a computer with
a lot of memory can store it for you. There are three basic types of computer memory and you will
need to know a little bit about each to ensure your computer is running effectively.
Random access memory or RAM is the same thing as your computer memory. RAM is the main
memory center, so essentially, it is the most important. Your RAM is used almost every second you're
on your computer each day. The reason RAM is so crucial is that it is used to store your files and
programs and it affects many other computer aspects as well.
DDR computer memory can be bought to increase the amount of memory you have, but first you will
want to learn a little more about your computer. Understanding how it works will help you work better
with your computer.
The more RAM computer memory your computer has, the faster it will work for you. If you find that
you're computer has been very slow lately, you might want to look into buying some DDR for it. If you
aren't sure what to buy or how to install it, it's best to let a professional do it this time around. You will
find that all electronic stores that sell RAM will offer optional installation services for a small fee. If you
choose this option, it would be a great idea to ask them exactly what they did so you can do it yourself
if the need ever arises again.
But, if you know a little something already about computer memory, why not install your DDR program
yourself? It will save you some time and money and your computer will be back to working at optimal
speed in no time. Either route you choose, don't neglect the health of your computer. If it starts
working differently than it ever has, get it checked out or troubleshoot the problem yourself. This will
ensure that it stays working great for years to come.
James Hunt has spent 15 years as a professional writer and researcher cover ing stories that cover a
whole spectrum of interest. Read more at
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e−Matchmaking: Can a Computer Find Love For You?
This Free E−Book has been brought to you by Natural−Aging.com.
100% Effective Natural Hormone Treatment
Menopause, Andropause And Other Hormone Imbalances
Impair Healthy Healing In People Over The Age Of 30!
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