Need Me Nicolle Miller You used to beat me until you bled Remember the time you made me cry for that happy audience with tipping drinks Lucid blue smoke floated like water You grabbed a wave and twisted it around my neck- If only I could have smiled Even after you broke me, you picked me up off the floor, and put me back together You were my love, my luthier You sang to me while you worked Your voice fell like warm oil and dripped onto your mirror shoes You picked at me until the stars died You played me during that orange summer You held me and you shook me But you loved me, remember You loved me because I wanted you to love the way I walked So when you said that- said that you had to- had to put me down for awhile I was broken worse than before A different kind of pain that stung more, more than the time you left me in the searing rain You sold me. I slept for days, I remember dreaming of pulses and your heart beat, I waited for you to come around and control me so sweetly But as I was sleeping in this cave of velvet ink Someone else picked me up and unfolded me He makes me sing and cry just like you used to do City Suppression Nicolle Miller I remember rows of pines and the way their boughs made a tunnel for me I remember running barefoot through the wet grass outside my home Sitting on my knees, picking wild raspberries, and popping them in my mouth. I remember searching for secrets through green rows of skyscraper corn I remember finding caterpillars - millions of them Their legs hugged yellow swaying stalks of grass behind my lonely tree. I forgot the wind’s cry in the night Snaking around the knife-edge of the complex I forgot the haunting scratch of working computers. I forgot the freezing water creeping closer after the flood Making me shiver and pull thin blankets closer. I forgot the clocks angry click, glaring at me with impatient faces. Sleeping Pills Nicolle Miller Water wrinkles, laughing at sand, Its music, can’t you understand? I need the melody to climb into my brain, Make it stop; I just want it to be at peace like the wrinkles and grains. The sun dies beside the fat Earth, The moon gives birth to stars, I swallow you one by one. The lazy river takes me away to ocean swells, up and down, in and out; this ship is sailing. An old moth lands, right on my hand, Its music, can’t you understand? The Hunter Nicolle Miller There is a bear on the trolley. There are other people like myself on this trolley, but we are singular stumps Alone together. The bear rises on two pissed paws and roars Weather clings to his fur like lice. The stumps glance, but quickly Shift their wooden eyes to a side. The trolley stops, ending its dizzy flight for a blink. A giant lumbers into the trolley cave strides up to the angry bear and both begin growling, rumbling thunder inside and out their trolley cave. Stumps don’t shift their frozen eyes now. The trolley slams to a stop. A doe runs off the trolley Her twig legs and tiny hooves slide on the wet steps. It’s not my stop, so I just wait. The trolley soars until the next stop. Something else climbs up the steps of our cave speed away It walks on two up to the fight. There is a hunter on the trolley. He stares into their black hole eyes One, two, three, four- He shot them dead. Our flying cave screeches to a final halt. All the stumps roll out of the trolley cave. I focus on the tiny red rivers on the floor I swim through the little rows of plastic Mud, blood Rain, fur.
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