Central Minnesota Area Narcotics Anonymous
Volume 3, Issue 1 June/July 2008
From Powerless to Powerful
Coming into the program, it is not not arrested, it gets worse until we die.
difficult for many of us to admit that we We cannot deal with the obsession and
are powerless over our addiction. We’ve compulsion. The only alternative is to
tried to stop many times only to be stop using and learn how to live.” We
defeated. We are finally beaten and in start to learn how to live and gain the
enough pain to ask for help. We may want power of choice by attending meetings,
to be free from the chains of addiction, but getting a sponsor, finding our higher
few of us want to give up the power to power, working the steps, being of
run our own lives. service, and knowing that there is hope.
The second half of the first step states, We enter into the meetings and see
“and our lives have become people just like us living new and
unmanageable”. In our addiction, our prosperous lives. Seeing this gives us the
lifestyle and decision making was trained power to stay clean that day and come to
Addiction & 2 only for one purpose. We had to have the next meeting. We begin to give up
Chocolate drugs at all costs. We could not live and our old ways of living for new ones. As
enjoy life, so we sought it out in ways we a result, we gain a power we could never
New Life 2 never imagined we would. Seeing this imagine.
evidence, it was easy for me to see that I The greatest gift recovery has given
had a living problem, not just a drug me is to watch this power of the
Light To The Path 3
problem. I had to admit that I was program transform someone totally
powerless to run my own life. This broken into the person they were born
A New 3 admission often leaves us empty and lost.
to be. Yes we may be powerless, but
Understanding If the steps stopped at one, few of us
would make it out alive. with each other, the program, and our
On page 88-89 of the Basic Text states, higher power we are very powerful.
“We know we are powerless over a disease
that is incurable, progressive, and fatal. If -A.S.
When we admit our powerlessness and our POWERLESSNESS
inability to manage our own lives, we open the
door to recovery. Coming out of step one, get us through. If we don’t use the tools of the
powerlessness means using drugs against our program, we will use. Step one also says we are
will. I can recall times getting high, and I really powerless not only over drugs, but over our addiction
did not want to. That is how powerful, cunning, as well. We are powerless over everything outside of
and baffling the disease of addiction is. It talks to us. This is a physical, mental, and spiritual disease
us in our own voice and wants to kill us using our that affects every area of our lives. Our disease is
own hands. Sometimes my disease says: “don’t incurable, progressive and fatal; if we don’t work the
go to meetings”, “don’t call your sponsor”, “don’t steps and traditions and recover to the best of our
do any step work”, “you can stay clean all by ability; we will surely die. Once we start using we
yourself”. These are lies. We cannot stay clean by cannot stop; that is the physical aspect of our disease.
ourselves because when life on life’s terms shows The drugs are our problem; working the steps and
up, we need our sponsor, our network, the God of traditions with a sponsor who has worked them also;
our understanding, meetings and our step work to is the solution. So keep coming back. –Kyle K.
The Buzz Page 2
Addiction & Chocolate
There are worse things in life than being an alcoholic. The Queen and her minions with a tiny silver spoon. Return home
next ring of hell might hold an alcoholic who doesn’t know by way of Greenland, acquiring a large slab of 10,000 year old
he’s an addict. glacier ice from snow that fell before the world became sullied
He might cork that jug and leave it, or, he might talk with our arrogant waists. Then, kidnap the world’s greatest
himself out of every single drink he desires. He might lie, Confectioner and ply him with Heroin Poppy seed tea until he
change the subject, avoid the environments, the old friends, gives up his secret recipe for ice cream fit for Kings.
the situations or the un-debatable fact of a thirst which Prepare, combine and meld the various parts, freeze quickly
cannot be quenched. and spend a few moments practicing self flagellation, properly
He may fall into a trap only an addict in recovery might humbling yourself before embarking on a spiritual awakening.
detect in time to prevent. He might become aware of a strong Sit in a comfortable chair with a perfect sphere of your
craving for chocolate ice cream one day. Think of it, he ambrosia resting in the fine china bowl in the palm of your
would say to himself. Imagine the perfect bowl, Alabaster hand. Take your clean, honey spoon and bring a dark morsel to
white, like the skin of a Goddess. And the flavor, well, one your mouth.
has to make the ice cream by hand, personally, to reach Let it melt on your tongue until you hear a small, quiet voice
perfection, mustn’t one. in your skull say, “this perfection you feel will be yours as long
The first step is to collect the best cream on earth. Only as you eat nothing but this.”
the most peaceful, clover fed cows will do. Milk one and A few months later, a repulsive, corpulent blob of humanity
carry the milk to a cool room. Wait for no more than one will have another moment of clarity when another voice will
hour, assuring freshness. Then, lay a sterile sheet of linen on say, “You’re not an alcoholic or even a chocoholic. You’re an
top of the surface of the milk itself, soaking up only the addict. You’ve grown too fat to gather the things you need to
richest cream from the pail. Then, milk another cow; collect make this dish ever again. Welcome to your nightmare.” Know
the cream, then another, and so on. Seek out a hundred the difference! -Mike G.
pounds of cocoa beans. Pick only the most dense and
pungent nuggets. Roast them and winnow out all but 30 of
the very best beans. Grind, blend, simmer and blend again
until the air itself tastes like heaven. Select and prepare three
perfect vanilla beans, rendering them down to a mere sip of
pure flavor. Cover yourself in expensive flowers and walk
the earth until a swarm of discriminating bees find you and
eventually lead you back to their hive. With the skill
of a diamond cutter, coax the best honey from the
To live my live as someone new
I’m a little scared as what to do.
I’ve switched it up enough to know
the places I can’t and shouldn’t go.
I’m learning to turn it over to God
If I try to control it,
I’ll end up a fraud.
I’ve been down that road many times before
I just can’t do it any more.
If I take just one day at a time
I should be able to walk
that very thin line.
The path is straight and narrow and long
but I can do it, for I am strong!
NEWSLETTER To live this life is something new,
SUBCOMMITTEE but I can’t be scared,
It’s what I need to do.
Michelle M.~ 320-237-3650
Volume 3, Issue 1 Page 3
Light to the Path
In this world I’ve come to see
many things in a false reality.
Through drugs & lies,
I’ve had false hopes.
I need new tools on how to cope.
My addict has taken me far
to the depths of hell
in a stolen car.
There are many things that I have done
and I will not say its been all fun
but through my experiences I have learned
that God has a way to make things turn
around for the better.
If only I can see
that light to the path he has
laid out for me.
A New Understanding
Powerlessness, as it is defined in our Step One, refers powerlessness we are supposed to practice in recovery, and
to the lack of power we experience when we try to cease although we can say that we know we are powerless over other
or control our use of substances and find that we can do people, for example, our actions sometimes say otherwise.
neither. Synonyms for powerlessness include: As we continue to stay clean, we may begin to believe that
helplessness, hopelessness, weakness, defenselessness, we should be taking control of our lives now that drugs no
subjection, feebleness, and inability. . .ouch. We come longer control us. This way of thinking can disrupt our spiritual
into the rooms of NA with a very real understanding of the growth in recovery so it is important to reaffirm our
meaning of these words because we had become powerlessness to counteract such thoughts. Admitting
defenseless and hopeless at the hands of our addiction, powerlessness once we have some clean time is really making
our own hands. Many times we sincerely tried to stop an honest appraisal of how much control or power we have
using drugs and change our behaviors, but no matter how over problems, situations, people, and things in our lives. It is
much in our hearts we wanted to quit, it was beyond our about humility because, as humans, we are essentially
control to achieve. It is because of this helplessness that powerless over everything. We have no control over the
we finally surrender and seek help in Narcotics weather, gas prices, death, illness, or what others think of us.
Anonymous. Once the unmanageability of active addiction Even parts of us - feelings, behaviors, bodily functions - are
begins to fade, we are called upon to invoke the concept beyond our control.
of powerlessness in a new way. Our new understanding of powerlessness is simply an
As we progress further in our recovery, the 12 Steps acceptance of our vulnerability as humans. It is acknowledging
take on new meaning for us. Step One is one of the steps that we will never have all the answers and we will never be
that can be called a “backpack step,” that is, we keep it recovered. It is a promise to ourselves that we will accept help
with us and use it’s principles as we need them, hopefully and support from others for any problems. It is recognition of
every day. Through this repeated application, we our need for our Higher Power’s assistance in putting into
recognize the universality of the concept of powerlessness healthy perspective how much energy, resources, time,
and acknowledge that there are people, impulsive investment, and emotional and physical effort are necessary to
behaviors, problems, and issues that are out of our power work out our problems. It is affirming our willingness to grow as
to affect, control, or change. Many of us struggle with this well as our inability to do so without God and other recovering
understanding, because in our minds we still equate the addicts. Accepting powerlessness frees us from the weight of
hopelessness and inadequacy of our active use with the our disease. ~Shannon H.
CMASC’S 18TH ANNUAL
July 4th, 5th, & 6th 2008
BRING THE FAMILY FOR A WEEKEND OF FUN!
~Fishing ~Friday campfire Hug-up meeting
~Boating Dock ~Potluck Pig-Roast
~Swimming ~Clean time countdown
~Horse Shoes ~DJ/Dance
~Canoes & Paddle boats for rent ~Sunday potluck breakfast
$30.00 per adult & kids 16 & up
$45.00 Family: Adult(s) with children 15 & under
Electric sites are available for $36.00 + a day pass
$15.00 Day pass on Saturday (Parking is $5.00 for the day)
Contact: Lonnie O. (320) 257-5526
CEDAR LAKE MEMORIAL PARK
1736 Abaca Road
Burtrum, MN 56318