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There once was a man from Belize, Which embarrassed the people of Lucca. Who always needed to sneeze, - Edward Lear All day he went "aaaachooo!" And never knew what to do, There was a Young Lady whose chin As they would always come in threes. Resembled the point of a pin: So she had it made sharp, little girl with a ball And purchased a harp, Grew up to be real tall And played several tunes with her chin. When the ball bounced real high - Edward Lear She could reach up in the sky Few thought he was even a starter; And catch it before it could fall. There were many who thought themselves smarter, There once was a man from Peru, But he ended a PM Who dreamed of eating his shoe, CH and OM He awoke with a fright, An earl and a Knight of the Garter. In the middle of the night, - Clement Attlee And found that his dream had come true! A bather whose clothing was strewed There was an Old Man of Nantucket By winds that left her quite nude Who kept all his cash in a bucket. Saw a man come along His daughter, called Nan, And unless we are wrong Ran away with a man, You expected this line to be lewd. And as for the bucket, Nantucket. - Anonymous There once was a young lady named bright There once was a man from Peru Whose speed was much faster than light Who had a lot of growing up to do, She set out one day He’d ring a doorbell, In a relative way then run like hell, And returned on the previous night. Until the owner shot him - Anonymous There was an old man with a beard There was a young lady of Lucca Who said, "it’s just how I feared! Whose lovers completely forsook her; Two owls and a hen She ran up a tree Four larks and a wren And said "Fiddle-de-dee!" Have all built their nests in my beard. - Anonymous Limerick Limerick There was an Old Man of Vienna, There was an Old Person whose habits, Who lived upon Tincture of Senna; Induced him to feed upon rabbits; When that did not agree, When he'd eaten eighteen, He took Camomile Tea, He turned perfectly green, That nasty Old Man of Vienna. Upon which he relinquished those habits. Limerick Limerick There was a Young Lady whose eyes, There was an Old Man of the Wrekin Were unique as to colour and size; Whose shoes made a horrible creaking When she opened them wide, But they said, 'Tell us whether, People all turned aside, Your shoes are of leather, And started away in surprise. Or of what, you Old Man of the Wrekin?' Limericks by Edward Lear Limerick Limerick There was an Old Man who supposed, There was a Young Lady of Dorking, That the street door was partially closed; Who bought a large bonnet for walking; But some very large rats, But its colour and size, Ate his coats and his hats, So bedazzled her eyes, While that futile old gentleman dozed. That she very soon went back to Dorking. Limerick Limerick There was an Old Man of Columbia, There was an Old Person of Buda, Who was thirsty, and called out for some beer; Whose conduct grew ruder and ruder; But they brought it quite hot, Till at last, with a hammer, In a small copper pot, They silenced his clamour, Which disgusted that man of Columbia. By smashing that Person of Buda. Limericks by Edward Lear Limerick Limerick There was an Old Man of the West, There was a Young Lady of Norway, Who wore a pale plum-coloured vest; Who casually sat on a doorway; When they said, 'Does it fit?' When the door squeezed her flat, He replied, 'Not a bit!' She exclaimed, 'What of that?' That uneasy Old Man of the West. This courageous Young Lady of Norway. Limerick Limerick There was on Old Man of the Isles, There was a Young Person of Crete, Whose face was pervaded with smiles; Whose toilette was far from complete; He sung high dum diddle, She dressed in a sack, And played on the fiddle, Spickle-speckled with black, That amiable Man of the Isles. That ombliferous person of Crete. Limericks by Edward Lear Limerick Limerick There was an Old Person of Hurst, There was an Old Lady of Chertsey, Who drank when he was not athirst; Who made a remarkable curtsey; When they said, 'You'll grw fatter,' She twirled round and round, He answered, 'What matter?' Till she sunk underground, That globular Person of Hurst. Which distressed all the people of Chertsey. Limerick Limerick There was an Old Man with a gong, There was an Old Man in a tree, Who bumped at it all day long; Who was horribly bored by a Bee; But they called out, 'O law! When they said, 'Does it buzz?' You're a horrid old bore!' He replied, 'Yes, it does!' So they smashed that Old Man with a gong. 'It's a regular brute of a Bee!' Limericks by Edward Lear Limerick Limerick There was a Young Person of Smyrna, There was an Old Person of Chili, Whose Grandmother threatened to burn her; Whose conduct was painful and silly, But she seized on the cat, He sate on the stairs, And said, 'Granny, burn that! Eating apples and pears, You incongruous Old Woman of Smyrna!' That imprudent Old Person of Chili. Limerick Limerick There was an Old Man on a hill, There was a Young Lady whose chin, Who seldom, if ever, stood still; Resembled the point of a pin; He ran up and down, So she had it made sharp, In his Grandmother's gown, And purchased a harp, Which adorned that Old Man on a hill. And played several tunes with her chin. Limericks by Edward Lear Limerick Limerick There was a Young Lady whose bonnet, There was an Old Man of Madras, Came untied when the birds sate upon it; Who rode on a cream-coloured ass; But she said: 'I don't care! But the length of its ears, All the birds in the air So promoted his fears, Are welcome to sit on my bonnet!' That it killed that Old Man of Madras. Limerick Limerick There was a Young Lady of Ryde, There was an Old Man of Peru, Whose shoe-strings were seldom untied. Who never knew what he should do; She purchased some clogs, So he tore off his hair, And some small spotted dogs, And behaved like a bear, And frequently walked about Ryde. That intrinsic Old Man of Peru. Limericks by Edward Lear Limerick Limerick There was an Old Man of Moldavia, There was an Old Man in a boat, Who had the most curious behaviour; Who said, 'I'm afloat, I'm afloat!' For while he was able, When they said, 'No! you ain't!' He slept on a table. He was ready to faint, That funny Old Man of Moldavia. That unhappy Old Man in a boat. Limerick Limerick There was a Young Lady of Portugal, There was an Old Man with a nose, Whose ideas were excessively nautical: Who said, 'If you choose to suppose, She climbed up a tree, That my nose is too long, To examine the sea, You are certainly wrong!' But declared she would never leave Portugal. That remarkable Man with a nose. Limericks by Edward Lear Limerick Limerick There was an Old Man of Kilkenny, There was an Old Person of Ischia, Who never had more than a penny; Whose conduct grew friskier and friskier; He spent all that money, He dance hornpipes and jigs, In onions and honey, And ate thousands of figs, That wayward Old Man of Kilkenny. That lively Old Person of Ischia. Limerick Limerick There was an Old Person of Dover, There was an Old Man of Marseilles, Who rushed through a field of blue Clover; Whose daughters wore bottle-green veils; But some very large bees, They caught several Fish, Stung his nose and his knees, Which they put in a dish, So he very soon went back to Dover. And sent to their Pa' at Marseilles. Limericks by Edward Lear Limerick Limerick There was an Old Person of Basing, There was an Old Person of Cadiz, Whose presence of mind was amazing; Who was always polite to all ladies; He purchased a steed, But in handing his daughter, Which he rode at full speed, He fell into the water, And escaped from the people of Basing. Which drowned that Old Person of Cadiz. Limerick Limerick The was a Young Lady of Bute, There was an Old Man of Quebec, Who played on a silver-gilt flute; A beetle ran over his neck; She played several jigs, But he cried, 'With a needle, To her uncle's white pigs, I'll slay you, O beadle!' That amusing Young Lady of Bute. That angry Old Man of Quebec.
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