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					   MSAND SPONSORS
        2009
                     NOTRE                                             DAMUS
                     V O L U M E   V ,   I S S U E   I      W E D N E S D A Y   F E B   2 5 ,   2 0 0 9




                    STUDENT OUTRAGE:
                    Extra Year Added To Med Course
                    There has been uproar following yesterdays shock announcement
                    that the Notre Dame Med course will be extended to 5 years effec-
                    tive immediately. The decision applies to all current ND students
                    without exemption. MSAND was quick to raise its objections to
                    this outrageous decision but has been told the decision is final.
                                                         FULL STORY PAGE 4...


                            ALSO IN THIS EDITION:
                                         Gossip Girl:
                                         Med School
                                         Confidential
John Flynn Adventures       plus       Pauline Hanson Nude!
                    Loose Lips Lizzie
  Leeuwin Challenge                      Vision Vietnam
                     ...and new stuff
                      -the Page 3 Girl
                         -cartoons
                     -& heaps more!
       P AGE   2

                                 Greetings from the Editor
                                 Welcome ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, trans- and
                                 multi-gender readers,
                                 I’m excited to present you the second coming of Notre Damus.
                                 Once again it’s been a bit of a frenzy to get this little puppy out the
                                 door, no doubt in a large part due to the extra girth she’s gained
                                 again this month. This has gotta be the biggest Notre Damus ever
                                 and there’s a pile of stuff that we’ve had to hold over ‘til next time
                                 so this issue didn’t collapse under its own weight like some sort of
                                 steroid-addled battery hen.
    VOLUME V,                    And who do I blame for all this extra content? You. That’s right,
     ISSUE II                    I’ve been blown away with the contributions I’ve received from
                                 the far-flung corners of the med school. Which makes me all
                                 gooey and squishy coz it means Notre Damus is morphing into
                                 what it should be – a magazine of the people and for the people
                                 but more importantly by the people. So thanks to you all, espe-
EDITORIAL TEAM                   cially seeing as some of you want to remain anonymous.
Mike Frood                       If anyone else wants to throw their hat into the ring – we’ll take ya
Barks Orders                     on, we aint scared! Hit us up at media@msand.org.au. Similarly if
media@msand.org.au               you’ve got a tip-off for Gossip Girl, you can find her at the end of
                                 the rainbow at gossip_girl_nd@hotmail.com or you can slip into
Katy Algie                       Loose Lips Lizzie’s boudoir via looselipslizzie@hotmail.com.
Ignores Orders                   Rather than me crapping on any further, I’ll let
                                 you slip into this issue and feast upon the
Ania Smialkowski, Gossip Girl,
                                 succulent offerings we’ve laid out for you – it’s
Pres Runci, Loose Lips Lizzie,
Samantha Milford, Uncle Jas      chokka block of cracker goodness. So off you
Save The Day                     trot and get reading, I’m heading down to the
                                 Notre Damus playroom to get debriefed by the
Crissy Norris                    editorial team of masseuses. Life can’t be all
Sorts Out Our Mistakes           work and no play afterall…

Andrew Dunn                                                                - Froody
Cyber-dazzles us
                                 Staff Member of the Month:                          It’s an age-old story -
Andrew Hohnan, Fintan            the guy in charge sits back and gets fat, lazy and giddy with the trappings
Andrews, George Stanton,         of the office, loses touch with the masses and turns from benevolent
Nick Jones, Scott Sargant        leader to egomaniacal dictator. The flipside to this is that there’s always
Put Out                          the right-hand man who, from the fat shadow of the king-pin, is actually
                                 running the show with far greater prowess. In the theatre of Notre Da-
                                                               mus, this role is played by Katy Algie - the
www.msand.org.au                                               tireless backbone and real brains of the op-
                                                               eration. While this may be so, Emperor
                                                               Frood also knows that there comes a point
                                                               where the more competent underling gets
                                                               fed up with the inequality and takes power
Thanks to Avant for printing                                   by force. So let this be a warning to you
                                                               Algie - I got my eyes on you woman and I
                                                               will strike down upon thee with great
                                                               vengeance and furious anger...
           NOTRE DAMUS
PAGE 3 ‘GIRL’                                                                                            P AGE    3




This issue sees the exciting introduction of the famous ‘page 3 girl’, a tradition begun by
classy tabloids from the UK and an addition so popular with readers that it has been
mimicked around the world. Never one to miss a band-wagon, Notre Damus has decided
to jump on it. True to our gender equality ethos, our girls may not always technically be
females, but we trust you won’t mind.
                                                               NEWS IN BRIEFS
                                                               This weeks bunny, Fintan ‘Fun Boy’ Andrews is
                                                               pleased with the recent Senate block of the Govern-
                                                               ment’s alco-pops tax thanks ultimately to Family
                                                               First Senator Steve Fielding. “It really restored my
                                                               faith in the government. I’d like to thank Stevie... I
                                                               was just beginning to sober up because my pre-uni
                                                               savings were drying up. Now thanks to Family Thirst
                                                               I’m straight off to the bottlo for a sixer of breezers.
                                                               Mmmm… Hopefully I’ll have some change left over
                                                               to buy crack so I can maintain my lithe figure.



                                                                   WHY EMO’S DON’T MAKE
                                                                            GOOD DOCTORS



                                                                                                      Mrs Smith?
                                                                                                      tOMMy Didn’T
                                                                                                      make IT.


                                                                                                      He IS UN-
                                                                                                      douBtablY Hap-
                                                                                                      pier NOW tHAT
                                                                                                      he DOES NOT
                                                                                                      EXIST…And
                                                                                                      is FREE from
                                                                                                      YOUR PERse-
                                                                                                      cUtion.
If you’ve got a suitable pic for a future page 3 girl please
send it in to media@msand.org.au and launch some-
one’s modelling career. Senders remain anonymous
Letters To The Editor                                                                                         P AGE     4




From Crissy Norris (II)
Hey Mr Editor!
There's an awesome website called www.6minutes.com.au - it's tagline being: 'interesting stuff for doctors today'
which I regularly look at. I subscribe to it's newsletter (which does come every day so that can be a little overwhelm-
ing) and I wondered if the Notre Damus might be a good forum to tell people about it and share the love… or even bet-
ter if maybe there could be a section in the mag that's dedicated to communicating interesting stories or websites/links
that people have found, related to medicine or not...
Particularly in light of the fact that the mag is distributed electronically… they could be inserted as clickable links??
Ed Says: Nice one Crissy, well now everyone knows and if anyone does have links they want to share, send ‘em in.

                                                                From Simon Dunn (II)
                                                                The Fed Govt has developed a scheme that entitles med
Class of ’08 Graduation                                         graduates that work rural areas to have their Hecs debt
                                                                refunded... so if you’re paying yours up front maybe not
                                                                the smartest idea? Check it out here http://
The class of                                                    www.health.gov.au/internet/main/publishing.nsf/Content/
‘08 graduated                                                   work-pr-hecs-about.
at the end of                                                   Froody I didn't even know this thing existed... maybe its
                                                                just me but if its not then maybe you could tell your
last year and                                                   friends at MSAND ‘bout it so everyone knows.
celebrated                                                      Ed says: Onya Simon. Although I find it hard to take you seri-
with no less                                                    ously after finding you in that compromising position with the
than three                                                      goat on the Wheatbelt trip, you have actually raised a good
                                                                point. Thanks.
shindigs. They
were all a suc-                                                 Send your letters to the editor to media@msand.org.au
cess thanks to the generous support from the spon-
sors whose logos appear below.

                                     The three grad
                                     events were:
                                     - End of Year Aca-
                                     demic Function at
                                     Kulcha in Freman-
                                     tle
                                     - Post Elective
                                     BBQ and Bowls

Afternoon at the Mosman
Park Bowls Club
- Graduation Lunch at the
Royal Freshwater Yacht
Club in Claremont
News                                                                                                            P AGE     5




Junior doctors must not be victims of Budget cuts: AMA -March 19, 2009
The AMA(WA) has warned the Health Department not to make junior doctors the sacrificial lambs in their drive to
achieve three percent Budget cuts. “The department thinks it can save millions by depriving junior doctors of overtime,
even though they’re expected to remain on the job to ensure patients are properly cared for,” said association President
Prof Gary Geelhoed. “It’s a potentially dangerous strategy which we will oppose strenuously by taking all necessary steps
to safeguard the interests of these young doctors and the welfare of their patients. “Overtime is often not discretionary
but an integral part of necessary patient care.” Prof Geelhoed said junior doctors were already being targeted by hospital
administrators who were under pressure to reduce costs. “Just this week we heard of one junior doctor who did 44
hours of unpaid overtime in the last eight weeks,” he said. “This is not only unjust, it is potentially dangerous for patients if
the net result is less time spent with their doctors. “Young doctors feel intimidated if they complain and yet many believe
they have a responsibility not to compromise patient care by knocking off at the end of their shift if there are unfinished
clinical tasks.” Prof Geelhoed said the WA Government was walking on dangerously thin ice if it believed it could prune
staff numbers in Health by more than the equivalent of 500 full timers in the next nine months without affecting clinical
services and the standard of patient care. “Director General Dr Peter Flett believes natural attrition, reductions in casual
and temporary staff levels and less overtime will help achieve the 3 per cent Budget reductions demanded by Treasurer
Troy Buswell,” he said. “Yet it has been shown repeatedly that Health is seriously under funded – something the Govern-
ment agreed with in Opposition - and Dr Flett’s admission of a $230 million blow out this financial year is further proof
that there just isn’t enough money to do the job properly. “Slash and burn is standard procedure for any new Govern-
ment in its first year in office; the tragedy will be if this philosophy puts any serious attempt to “fix” health on the back
burner yet again.”


WA Primary Health Care Research, Evaluation & Development (PHCRED) Conference,
a success - November 26, 2008
The University of Notre Dame Australia was a buzz of activity on Saturday 22nd November as over 40 early to mid-
career researchers assembled to discuss their latest findings. The event was staged at the University of Notre Dame Aus-
tralia, Fremantle. It was fitting that the conference was staged at Fremantle this year as it was 4 years ago that the new
graduate entry program began at Fremantle, with the first cohort of graduates from the school of Medicine graduating on
13th December, 2008. Topics were varied and covered a number of interesting, current Primary Health Care issues
related to the theme of “Primary Health Care MATTERS!”. Delegates travelled from across the state, as far a field as Al-
bany and Margaret River in the south to Geraldton and Broome in the north. Tom Brett, Director of the General Practice
and Primary Health Care Research Unit, School of Medicine, University of Notre Dame Australia, Fremantle commented
“research into primary health care generally tends to be poorly funded but the PHCRED program, who convenes these
annual get-togethers, has been successfully adopted by the three units (UWA, CUCRH & UNDA) and is reflected in the
number of attendees at today’s event”. Keynote speaker Lyn Henderson-Yates of Notre Dame University Australia,
Broome campus provided an indigenous perspective on primary health care. Practice-based research networks were also a
hot topic of discussion as keynote speaker Professor Nick Zwar from the University of New South Wales discussed the
need for more research in general practice and primary health care as a whole. Attendees consisted of general practitio-
ners, registrars, nurses, medical students, allied health professionals, consumer group representatives, physiotherapists and
other health professionals. The Statewide Coordinator for PHCRED Lyn Brun said “this conference provided a great op-
portunity for researchers from across the state to share the learning’s gained through this vitally important funding pro-
gram”. PHCRED provides fellowships and bursaries resulting from funding of research into key areas for Primary Health
Care with an additional focus on rural and indigenous health.


Walk Against Want 2009 – Fremantle
Walk Against Want started over 40 years ago with the goal of raising awareness of the plight of women in the world's
poorest communities. The Walk symbolised the long walk these women take daily to collect clean water. Since its humble
beginning hundreds of thousands of people have now taken part in the event, raising millions of dollars for our long-term
development work around the world. On Sunday 5th April 2009 the Fremantle Group will host the annual Walk Against
Want. The Walk starts at the Princess May Park, (near Clancy's), Adelaide Street, Fremantle, from 9:00am - 10:30am.
Walkers will follow the beautiful Swan River, through North Fremantle to Princess May Park.
When: Sunday 5th April 2009 9:00am
Where: Princess May Park
Contact: For more information or to participate in the walk, please contact Rachael at the Fremantle Oxfam Shop on
9336 3111 or Peter Woods on 93393451.
      The Prez Sez
      ND FREO GOES GLOBAL!
     Lots has been happening since our last edition of Notre Da-
     mus including social events, rural health nights, touch rugby
     competitions, Clean Up Australia Day and the MED100 Sur-
     vival night. In the coming weeks we are gearing up for more
     events such as clinical skills evenings and the family fun and
     sports day. Of note the survival guide evening was a great
     opportunity for first year students, especially from interstate,
               to meet with both staff and later year students to
               discuss strategies around managing the varied chal-
Huge news lenges of studying a post-graduate medical de-
               gree. The family fun day will also be a great
from           opportunity for everyone to get together to
               enjoy some family friendly activities including games,
MSAND          a BBQ and some inter-year sporting competitions.
               Looking to further in the year the regis-
President tration period for the AMSA conference
               in Brisbane has closed, so now hopefully
James          we get lucky in the random ballot and
               have a good turnout for AMSA 09!
                            particular note is the
Runciman Recently of school of medicine to addi-World Health Organisation (WHO) database
               tion of our                         the
               of worldwide medical schools. From 1953 until 2007 the WHO kept a ‘World Di-
     rectory of Medical Schools’ but recently through collaboration with the University of Copen-
     hagen established the ‘Avicenna Directory’ of accredited medical and allied health schools.
     The medical school at Notre Dame, Fremantle, had not been listed on the database and fol-
     lowing feedback from students MSAND brought this to the attention of the school late last
                                                                         year. It is pleasing to see
                                                                         our school recognized in
                                                                         this forum.
                                                                         The WHO education
                                                                         and training site can be
                                                                         found at http://
                                                                         www.who.int/hrh/
                                                                         education/en/ with links
                                                                         to the Avicenna site
                                                                         http://avicenna.ku.dk/




      P AGE   6
         P AGE   7
                        FROST BITES: Pearls of Wisdom from the Dean
                        How can a medical student or doctor possibly
                        keep up to date?
                        Once upon a time (but not so very long ago) doctors knew everything!

                        With respect to my forebears, perhaps this really meant was, as there was a lot less
                        to know, it may have been possible. Simpler advances like the cephalosporins, Fab MRI
 We get to the bottom   and statins have all entered the arena in my practicing lifetime. An estimate of 16kg of
                        journals per month on HIV/AIDS demonstrates the futility for any of us to keep up to
 of things...           date across a broad spectrum of medical practice, and highlights the challenges in a
                        narrower area of practice.

                        As I remind students, the plural of ‘anecdote’ is not
                        ‘evidence’, but while good evidence abounds, there is
                        little evidence of benefit (or harm) for many health
                        interventions, and lack of evidence of benefit isn’t nec-
                        essarily evidence of lack of benefit. And as my late es-
                        teemed colleague Anna Donald explained, dealing in
                        ‘wholesale’ evidence (e.g. the mighty Cochrane enter-
                        prise) is too difficult for busy clinicians (and perhaps
                        students as well). What we need is more ‘retail’ sized
                        evidence, and it needs to be available 24/7. I don’t plan
                        to detail the sites where this may be available, nor the
                        ways in which bite-sized chunks of relevant clinical evi-
“16kg of journals       dence can be obtained to inform clinical decision mak-
                        ing now and into the future.
per month on
                        What is needed, in my view, is a lifelong commitment to continuous learning, and I
HIV/AIDS                want to discuss some of the ways in which this can be achieved. Problem based learn-
                        ing (PBL) provides a wonderful grounding in what can be a serious approach to ongo-
demonstrates the        ing medical education. Whether these morph later into learning sets, journal clubs, or
                        study groups matters less than that the collaborative discovery methodology remains.
futility for any of     PBL introduces a way of thinking, and learning, which serves adult learners well. It
                        suits most learning styles, and allows solitary learners to adapt without too much
us to keep up to        transition. PBL also offers access to the variety of resources needed to learn, and to
date across a           continue to learn, from textbooks for the always needed background information, to
                        this week’s TOC of the learned journals for the often vital foreground information.
broad spectrum          PBL also fits well into the concept of learning as personal development , which gener-
                        ates the need for life-long learning as part of who we are, and wish to be.
of medical
                        The last point about lifelong learning is the increasing insistence by Colleges, registra-
practice”               tion boards, accrediting bodies, and the government ( as representative of the people)
                        that continuing medical education (CME), continuing professional development (CPD)
                        or other cognate descriptors is a mandatory element of the right and privilege to con-
                        tinue to practice medicine. In fact, some bodies are proposing recurrent re-
                        accreditation (by peer review or other assessment) of a doctor’s continuing compe-
                        tence in practice. We need to be sure, as we try to do at University, that we are truly
                        assessing those elements of knowledge, skills and behaviours which make a good doc-
                        tor before we launch too fast into this area, but no one can deny that staying up-to-
                        date is a necessary condition of medical proficiency.

                        Think seriously about this - your eminent future depends on it.
NOTRE DAMUS
Vision Vietnam 08                                                                           P AGE   8




 Vision Vietnam has been
 going for several years now
 and is an annual trip to Viet-
 nam organised by first and
 second year Notre Dame
 medical students. The trip
 involves extensive fund raising
 and appeals to obtain medical
 supplies and basic necessities.
 At the end of the year, six
 students from the Notre
 Dame School of Medicine
 travel to Vietnam to deliver
 what they have been able to
 collect as well as spend two
 weeks working in HIV and
 leprosy hospices as well as
 orphanages and schools.           would take a valuable experi-   couple of days downtime, the
 In 2008, I was fortunate          ence home with us.              VV08 group met at Perth In-
 enough to be part of the          When the stress of exams        ternational Airport with lug-
 VV08 team. Planning for the       finally wore off and after a    gage and kilos of donations in
 2008 trip started early in the
 year with numerous events
 raising much needed funds.
 There were BBQ’s, fun runs
 and of course who can forget
 the chocolates. While con-
 ducting extensive fundraising,
 the group also made an effort
 to meet regularly and discuss
 our goals and objectives of
 the trip. It was important to
 us that we could contribute
 while over in Vietnam but
 also that we as future doctors
Vision Vietnam 08                                                                                P AGE   9




 donations in tow. Looking         phanages. It was a truly
 slightly dishevelled after hav-   eye opening experience
 ing spent too many months         and one that I will not for-
 inside, we set off on what        get any time soon. For me
 truly was a remarkable ex-        the highlight of the trip
 perience.                         was a visit to some of the
 We arrived in Ho Chi Minh         remote communities. We
 after lunch and after negotiat-   met people who were
 ing the traffic and sorting out   completely disconnected
 our accommodation we cele-        from the hustle and bustle
 brated our safe arrival with a    of Ho Chi Minh City. We
 quiet drink or two. We had a      played soccer with some
 busy couple of weeks ahead        of the young kids and
 of us.                            were fortunate enough to
 Our first stop was to visit a     see them perform a song
 Convent just out of town that     and dance routine for us.
 provided a lot of support to      It was a very special and
 various charitable organisa-      emotional visit.
 tions around town. We were        While we spent a lot of time        food, pristine beaches and
                                                          visiting     oddly enough fish sauce.
                                                          various      Overall, VV08 was a fantastic
                                                          establish-   experience. I encourage any-
                                                          ments,       one partaking in VV09 to
                                                          we also      make the most of the experi-
                                                          bonded       ence. I think I speak for the
                                                          as a         entire VV08 team when I say
                                                          group of     that it was the trip of a life-
                                                          students     time (thought I would end on
                                                          and had      a cliché).
                                                          a lot of
                                                          fun. We
 fortunate to be introduced to     were able to get up to Hoi          - Andrew Hohnen
 the lovely Sister Mai who         An and see the quieter side of      Member of VV08 team
 took us under her wing for        Vietnam (as well as get some
 the rest of our time in Ho        tailored
 Chi Minh. Because of her help     clothes fit-
 we were able to visit a num-      ted). To un-
 ber of special places that we     wind and fin-
 would never have found had        ish up the
 we not been accompanied by        trip a few of
 the lovely Sisters of the con-    us also spent
 vent.                             a week on
 Over the next 10 days we          the island of
 visited HIV hospices, leprosy     Pho Quoc.
 hospital facilities, visited      The island
 schools, remote villages,         specialised in
 young mother clinics and or-      beautiful sea-
John Flynn Adventures                                                                                P AGE       10




 Applications for the                                                       indigenous people suffer and
                                                                            allowed me to observe different
 John Flynn Placement                                                       health professionals ideas and
 Program close this                                                         methods of dealing with these
 Friday, April 3rd. So to                                                   inequalities, making all that PPH
 fire you up for those                                                      finally seem worthwhile!
                                                                            I saw medicine medical students
 last minute applica-                                                       would never encounter in Perth
 tions here’s two ND                                                        such as rheumatic and dengue
 kids who headed bush                  drew and Clare, who would            fever.
 over the summer -                     soon become like family to me.       There was also plenty of time to
                                       They quickly informed me that        get to know the Mt. Isa locals
 George Stanton from                   milk, fruit and vegetables were in   and many
 2nd year and Nick                     severely limited supply since all    a      beer
 Jones from 4th year.                  the roads had been cut off from      was con-
                                       the floods, which was the first      sumed at
                                       rain Mt. Isa had seen in two         the local
                                       years. The rain was amazing,         watering
                                       when it came it came with a          holes, the
                                       vengeance, we would wade our         Irish,
                                       way through puddles up to our        Bucks
                                       knees in bright yellow Kmart         club and
                                       raincoats made for far smaller       Over-
                                       individuals than ourselves.          lander.
                                       We were basically given free         Does every town in the world
                                       reign of the hospital so I spent     have an Irish pub?
                                       my mornings doing the general        So as I boarded the plane to fly
 George Stanton: Mount Isa             medicine rounds and then the         home I considered what I would
 I boarded the plane to Mt. Isa        afternoons with different special-   say to those individuals who had
 with little idea of what lay ahead.   ists. I saw surgeries, showed        previously painted Mt. Isa in such
 Everyone I had mentioned my           pregnant women their foetuses        a bad light. “Yes it is hot, there
 destination to had not given me       heart beat for the first time        are millions of single men, but it
 the most positive of feedback,        (amazing), participated in the       is a simply wonderful place with
 the most common reaction was          diabetic and sexual health clinics   breath-taking scenery, warm-
 laughter, while others said it is     and made numerous met calls          hearted fun loving locals and fas-
 “so hot you will die”. However        while on the intensive care          cinating medicine”.
 everyone had heard of the             team. I found the doctors so         I cannot wait to return to my
 mayor of Mt. Isa announcing that      keen to teach and all the one-on     new home away from home.
 all ugly women should come to         one time meant we
 the town to find a man. So as         learnt a lot very
 I’m sure you can imagine I was        fast.
 not overly excited. At the            The district the
 boarding gate at Brisbane airport     hospital covers has
 I got my first taste of what the      a twenty three per-
 mayor meant, I was one of only        cent      indigenous
 four women on my sixty-seater         population       and
 aircraft. As I stepped off the tar-   about sixty percent
 mac I got my first taste of the       of our patients
 heat, boy was it humid!               were      Aboriginal.
 When I arrived at the house that      This opened my
 was to be my home for the next        eyes to all the
 two weeks I was greeted by two        health and social
 cheery John Flynn scholars, An-       inequalities     our
John Flynn Adventures                                                                          P AGE     11




 NICK JONES: Wilcannia              patient (if needed)
 Well i am currently on my final    via telephone to a
 John Flynn 200 kms from Broken     remote Royal Flying
 Hill (NSW) in a town, 'where       Doctor, decide and implement        Flynn, DO     To apply go to
 the tourist board says not to      management and complete dis-        IT! nothing   the Australian
 stop if travelling through at      charge or prepare for possible      to lose,      College of Rural
 night'. This town is called Wil-   air evacuation of patient with      massive
                                                                                      & Remote Medi-
 cannia (pop. 200) and despite      the RFDS. It has been a real lit-   gains!
 the bad press and the remote-      mus test of my medical training     Good Luck
                                                                                      cine’s website
 ness I have a great experience     so far and has given me confi-      Applying!     www.acrrm.or
 here. The town has a small hos-    dence for intern, next year.                      g.au and follow
 pital with a 24 hour ED run by     For any MED100 or MED200                          the links
 nurses, no Doctors. During a       consid-
 shift I will triage patients,      ering of
 take a history and examine,        applying
 write up patient notes, present    for John
Leeuwin Ultimate Challenge Voyage                                                              P AGE      12




 Procrastinating during end of
 year exams means you spend
 time conjuring up all the ways
 you want to spend your free
 time instead of studying. Like
 visiting cool exhibitions,
 drinking cold bevvies in the
 warm afternoon sun or mak-
 ing it up to those hundreds of
 friends and family you have
 said you would “catch up with
 soon”. Not to mention re-
 covering from the post exam
 extravaganza that is the Festi-
 vus of Looseness.
 With those dreams in mind,
 how does this sound for a
 post exam sojourn?
 Cramped sleeping quarters          In November last year I, and        training ship – and it’s big.
 with a thermostat of either        seven of my Med 100 col-            So with a few briefings under
 freezing or sweltering, not a      leagues, along with a group of      our belt (what did we need
 single night of solid sleep, mo-   OTs and Physios from Freo           briefings for? This was going
 tion sickness, morning exer-       hospital, got the opportunity       to be a holiday right?) we set
 cises at dawn (which is pretty     of a lifetime to participate in a   off for the wild blue yonder –
 bloody early in summer),           Leeuwin Ultimate Challenge          or at least the bit of ocean
 cleaning duties and helping to     Voyage (I should say 8 other        between Rottnest and Fre-
 care for a group of young          med students – but Rachel is        mantle, for five days and four
 people with special needs...       a watch leader on Leeuwin           nights of swashbuckling ad-
 sounds nothing like the afore-     and does this stuff all the         venture.
 mentioned rest and relaxation      time). This is a voyage run by      Now the sailing part of the
 right? For me, it turned out       the Leeuwin Foundation              trip has a romance and adven-
 to be a dream come true.           twice a year when they go to        ture all of its own – learning
 Allow me to explain.               a great deal of trouble to or-      the names of all of the ropes,
                                                       ganise for       when to heave, how to helm
                                                       young adults     (steer) the ship, climbing the
                                                       with special     rigging, furling sails, keeping
                                                       needs to         night watch, sailing in 25 knot
                                                       have a go at     winds at night in the driving
                                                       sailing the      rain (a truly memorable ex-
                                                       Leeuwin.         perience), learning knots,
                                                       For those of     cleaning the heads (dunnies)
                                                       you with no      and of course getting that all
                                                       nautical in-     important practice at polish-
                                                       terest at all,   ing the brass all over the ship
                                                       the Leeuwin      (who would have thought that
                                                       is a square      the taps on the fire hoses
                                                       rigger sail      would need to be brass).
Leeuwin Ultimate Challenge Voyage                                                              P AGE      13




                                                   quarters and        with these guys gave us just a
                                                   make sure at        taste of the effort their par-
                                                   muster time that    ents and carers put in to living
                                                   none of us had      with and looking after them.
                                                   gone overboard      But more than that, it gave us
                                                   (though Jarrad      an amazing lesson in what
                                                   never tired of      they are capable of, where
                                                   suggesting we all   their strengths lie, their enor-
                                                   looked like we      mous capacity for joy and ex-
                                                   needed a swim at    citement and that with that
                                                   every possible      little bit of help, they can
                                                   chance). We         achieve so much for them-
                                                   played games,       selves.
 But by far the most memora-         climbed the masts, flew eggs      As far as being a social justice
 ble part of the trip for me         from the highest platforms        activity goes, I think we
 (and I know for most of us)         and learnt a little more about    helped everyone else on
 was the opportunity to spend        each other with                              board achieve the
 time working with and getting       every passing                                goal of helping these
 to know a very special group        challenge. Of                                guys and girls have a
 of young people. These kids         course, when it                              great week on the
 have all had to overcome a          came time for the                            Leeuwin. In terms of
 range of illnesses and limita-      vomiting (from                               who got more out of
 tions that make even being on       sea-sickness) eve-                           it, I think we were
 the ship, let along sailing it, a   ryone just lined                             way ahead. If you get
 very impressive feat. Our           up together –                                the chance to take
 friends have autism, down           except Monty –                               part, I highly recom-
 syndrome, cerebral palsy,           who chose the                                mend grabbing it with
 learning and behavioural dis-       foetal position                              both hands.
 orders, various growth ab-          instead.                                     - Scott Sargant
 normalities and some chronic        Spending all day and all night
 diseases to boot. We got to
 support and encourage them
 as they took to each new
 challenge with gusto and they
 promptly returned the favour
 when it was our turn. Most
 of the time, we got to work
 together to get the job done.
 This was never more appar-
 ent than when at 2 in the
 morning with the aforemen-
 tioned 25 knot winds and
 driving rain, our watch of just
 8 people had to bring the ship
 about. Teamwork takes on a
 whole new meaning. We got
 to work together, eat to-
 gether, sleep in the same
SCANDAL                                                                                             P AGE    14




POLICE RAID MSAND
FOOTY TRAINING
In a shock course of events the WA Tactical
Response Group raided MSAND footy training at Mann oval on
Monday night. The purpose of the raid was a tip off that one of
MSANDS own was trading and selling unlicensed guns.
Notre Damus has since learned from a reliable source that the
ring leader is believed to be none other than Chris “Barry” Donohue. Barry was a noticeable exception at the
raid, bringing into questions about police corruption. An eye witness had noticed that the week before Barry
was seen flaunting his illegal armoury during a sprints exercise. “It was so scary, there were guns flying every-
where, I mean his guns are as big as his head, I Just ran inside” said the frightened onlooker.
Police did however commend two MSAND players. Firstly Charlie happily pulled out his UN certified gun li-
cence and was able to quickly leave footy training with his shiny AK47’s proudly on display. Secondly, police
commended our budding first year ruckman Boony, for having his weapon on mass destruction locked safely
away after reports that is was dangerously exposed on O camp. Police also swamped MSAND’s chin up champ,
asking him for an autograph and how to improve their power to weight ratio.
In further developments, police were questioning Monty “high rider” Lats McGee for unusual behaviour during
the raid. Police say that he was seen with his pants above regulation height, believing that he may be hiding
weapons. Police have since learned that this is a natural phenomenon and regularly occurs due to the gravita-
tional pull of his lats and the absence of any gluteal work at the gym.
MSAND’s footy captain Andy “Centre Half Back” Honan was interviewed about the source of the leak to the
police. Honan reported that his initial suspicion was the resident big foot Fijian, as his blood pressure climbed
excessively high at the time that the police arrived. Honen was relieved to find that this is also a normal phe-
nomenon that Nemo uses to get out of any scheduled fitness work. Honen’s suspicions then moved Ed “sides
step” Roar, however he decided that between footy training, study in the library and the sheer amount that he
talks in PBL, it would not be possible for him to have any time left to be a double agent.
Honen now believes that he knows the source of the leak from his ranks. Honen has reported seeing a bald
man in bright orange running laps around the oval, intermittently blowing his whistle and throwing the ball in.
Honen believes that the rat is none other than our resident umpire Jason Miller. Honen in an exacerbated tone
stated “I mean, the man regularly farts in crowded lifts, what else is he capable of?” Honen did however wish to
                                                                     take this media opportunity to thank Katy
                                                                     “Lebracorn” Algie for her regular supply of
                                                                     oranges. He was shocked to hear reports that
                                                                     she might be the source of the leak, fearing
                                                                     that it may jeopardise the teams supply of or-
                                                                     anges at training on Monday nights.
                                                                     Regardless of the results of the police raid,
                                                                     MSAND footy training will continue on Mon-
                                                                     day nights with a new venue soon to be an-
                                                                     nounced due to the end of day light savings.
                                                                     All med players are welcome. If you need any
                                                                     further information, please do not hesitate to
                                                                     e mail sports@nd.org.au

                                                                     - Fintan ‘I’m actually just jealous that I
                                                                     don’t have any guns’ Andrews
The Team in happier times. Chris ‘Barry’ Donohue is notably absent
     P AGE   15

                       RANTINGS FROM A BALD MAN
                    It’s a Punderful world
                    Many would expect an article from me to be a torrent of abuse directed at the
                    sweaty, unwashed masses I share the public transport system with, and believe me it
                    would be easy to do, I could tell you all about the bizarre sex life of Sharon from
                    Armadale, when Barry is getting parole, and the price of Woodstock bourbon in
                    Mandurah.
                    I could also launch into a serious debate on the merits of a shoulder mounted lunch
                    sack (Target $10, fits 2 rolls, 2 apples, banana, protein shake, water bottle, fruit box,
                    change of clothes, 3 textbooks etc) vs. old school lunch box (a busted ass sandwich
by Uncle Jas        with smashed up cracker on top), but if you don’t know what I’m talking about you
                    deserve to stay weak and undernourished.
                    No, I need to tell you about the craze that is sweeping the corridors of ND35: puns.
                    What are puns you ask? Remember when you brought your friends home for the
“He could           first time after school, entered what you hoped was an empty house and then saw
                    your dad. Remember that fear, what might he say about you that might destroy that
have dropped        thin layer of cool you have been establishing with your Bali cornrows and henna tat-
you off at          too (you said it was real). All is going well until someone says “I’m hungry” and Dad
                    fires back “well lie on the ground and have a roll”. The nervous laughter, confused
school in his       looks, followed by endlessly mockery from same friends about how “funny your dad
underwear,          is”. That is a pun. Puns are meant to be shit - if you’ve groaned, you’ve been owned.
                    The more groans, the closer you are to becoming a dad. Your dad won every time
pretended that      you thought he failed. He is preparing you for the time when you become a parent
his car broke       and you need to make your children strong through mental and physical torture. He
                    could have dropped you off at school in his underwear, pretended that his car broke
down in the         down in the bus lane, and got out and worked on the engine but he took the kinder
bus lane, and       route.
got out and         Puns keep you thinking, break the tension, and keep you going through the tough
                    times when PBL starts to drag. To hit a winner stay alert, seize the moment, be-
worked on the       come a dad and hurt your friends. The best puns are contextual and twist around
engine but he       what was just said into something lame. For example this week’s topic of the G.I.T
                    has been a goldmine of crap puns. Get those puns out there, digest the information
took the kinder     as it comes to you, and although it may be tough to swallow, go with your gut, if it’s
route.”             not funny, that’s solid dad gold.



    AUSTRALIAN HEALTH CARE                                  AMERICAN HEALTH CARE

                  YEAH MATE,                                                 YOUR TEST RESULTS
                                                                             HAVE COME BACK, IT
                  LOOKS LIKE YOU
                                                                             SEEMS YOU HAVE A
                  GOT A COLD, AY!
                                                                             COLD.
                                Med School


                                                          What’s Hot – What’s Not


                                                                         FFF (First Friday Friendlies)
                                                                         AMSA Convention – yeow!
      Man vs. Beast                                                      Medical pronunciation
                                                                         Hot Consultants
                                                                         Who said medcest has to
                                                                          be boy & girl? ;-)
                                                                         C5


                                                                            Ultrasonography
                                                                            Medical Facebook updates
                                                                            CAPS LOCK key


                                                       Drop GG a line at: gossip_girl_nd@hotmail.com

Gossip Girl has asked some of the
hunkiest men around the corridors of ND
Med School: What’s the biggest animal
you could fight and win?

Charlie (II) vs. Unicorn: I love magical
                                                      Spelling Bee for PBL know it all’s...
animals and would never harm them                        1. Contracture of hand flexor tendons
because they have feelings too.                               seen in late stage liver disease
Winner: Unicorn                                          2. Excessive watery bowel motions
                                                         3. Adrenal medullary tumour
Cam (III) vs. Crocodile: I could beat a                  4. Rings observed in eye in Wilson’s
crocodile if it had its gaydar turned off –                   disease
that way I could sneak up and do my
                                                      Spelling Bee - Answers
surprise attack.                                            1.   Dupuytrens contracture
Winner: Cam                                                 2.   Diarrhoea
                                                            3.   Phaeochromocytoma
                                                            4.   Keiser Fleisher ring
Beef (III) vs. Chimpanzee: Do I have to
fight nude? Because I don’t want a chimp
grabbing at my bits.                                     How the Predator sees the
Winner: Beef                                               Medical School...Pow!

Rudy (IV) vs. Maltese Terrier: I’m really
just a guy who likes big hugs and to
cuddle. Though I could definitely smash a
Maltese Terrier.
Winner: Rudy




     “Whose hose is this?” – second year female sitting in an inflatable pool with several guys
                                           Med School



           Fintang                                           - Ultrasonography -
                                                        with Adjunct Associate Clinical Professor Max Cranium, AO,
                                                                                FRAC(Steth)




                                                        There is no doubt that ultrasonography (US) forms
                                                        the basis of modern diagnostic medicine and is the
                                                        only modality of choice for almost all common
                                                        conditions.
                                                        Fever                      Depression
                                                        Anaemia                    HIV
                                                        COPD                       Dermatitis
                                                        Hypocalcemia               Sinusitis
                                                        (not hypercalcemia)        GIT Polyps
                                                        GORD                       Pituitary tumour
      Climate Change                                    Diabetes                   Dementia
             Gossip Girl Serious Article                Paracetemol OD             SIADH
                                                        Tuberculosis               Crohns disease
                                                        Hypertension               Pneumonia
So even though I’m like so ridiculously good
looking, and so look after the envionment
                                                        In fact I find it hard to think of conditions for which
ever since daddy bought me a Prius. I’m                 US is not indicated. But what about the senior
gonna share with you Gossip Girls tips to               doctor with 20 years medical experience who
combat climate change. Because I could                  implies that US may not be an appropriate
never follow that Al Bore chap he was so lame           diagnostic modality? I suggest use of the “5A’s
and such a bad dresser.                                 model” for evoking change.
 To help keep the planet cool - leave your
    fridge door open                                     Ask: about their use of US – if less than
 To stop rising sea levels - take home a                 18/week urgently refer them for a US
                                                          refresher course. Best to ask in a public forum
    bucket of water each time you go to the
                                                          rather than wait for a private conversation
    beach
                                                         Assess: their knowledge of medicine – if
 To help reduce the Chinese carbon                       superior to yours remind yourself that you are
    footprint – Chinese people should start               a medical student
    footbinding                                          Advise: your teacher that they should be
 To stop landfills overflowing - ships                   following your directions and doing an US
    contaning cheap clothes and Louis Vuitton            Assist: by using the 5A’s model
    knock-offs should be sent to the Bermuda             Arrange: a new placement for yourself
    triangle
                                                        It is important that you remind all supervising
xoxo GG                                                 clinicians that US should be the first and possibly
                                                        the only diagnostic tool needed.

                                                        A.Prof Max Cranium




      “If I was Donna Mak, I’d be throwing dried fruit at you” – an excited pathology lecturer
                                      Med School


Gossip Girl – MyCareers.com                                            The Elevator
                                                                       An orthopaedic surgeon was
Have you got into med school but unsure of                             running late for an operation and
your career path? Follow GG’s easy guide to                            needed to catch the elevator. He
determine what area of medicine is best for                arrived just as the doors were closing and
you.                                                       thrust his head between the doors. They
                                                           slammed shut on his head but then opened to
xoxo GG
                                                           allow him to enter. As he stood there rubbing
                                                           his head, which took the full force of the
                                                           doors, a passenger in the elevator asked “Why
                                                           didnt you use your hands to open the door?”-
                                                           “I need my hands to operate you dummy” was
                                                           the reply.

                                                           Duck Hunting
                                                           A medical student, GP, physician, surgeon and
                                                           a pathologist go duck hunting.

                                                           The medical student is the first
                                                           to raise his gun, but unable to
                                                           tell if the duck is really a duck
                                                           so he does not shoot.

                                                           The GP says "Here's a bird", shoots and kills.
                                                           He concludes "It looked like a duck, sounded
                                                           like a duck, was killed by duck shot, it was a
                                                           duck!".
                Humerus
                                                                      The physician points his gun, but
                                                                      does not shoot. He says "This
                                                                      probable bird certainly looks like
Money                                                      a female mallard, but I must be sure of what I
 How do you hide a $20 note                               am killing before shooting. A juvenile
  from an orthopaedic surgeon?                             Mesopotamian sea duck would look exactly
  - Put it in a textbook.                                  the same!"
 How do you hide a $20 note from a
  radiologist? - Put in on the patient.                    The surgeon says "Look, it flies! Boom", then
 How do you hide a $20 note from a                        turns to the pathologist and asks "So, what was
  gastroenterologist? - You can't.                         it?".
 How do you hide a $20 note from a
  neurosurgeon? - Give it to their child.                  The Physician
                                                           A patient complains to his physician: "I went
Who am I...                                                to see a surgeon about my ear ache, but all he
What do you call someone half asleep,                      offered was to amputate it!"
watching someone half awake being operated
on by some half wit? - An anaesthetist                                    The physician shakes his head
                                                                          in disbelief: "Those stupid
Orthopaedics                                                              surgeons, all they want to do is
 What do you call 2 orthopaedic surgeons                                 operate! Here take this pill
   looking at a ECG? - A double blind study                three times a day, your ear should fall off in
 What is the purpose of the heart? - To get               two months!"
   Cephalexin to the bones.
 Score needed for entry into Orthopaedic
   training course:
Med school average marks (%) + bench press (kg) = 250



                                “I nailed it!” – first year after theology exam
                                     Med School


A recent New England Journal of
Medicine double randomised placebo
controlled   regression   analysis   cohort
Cochrane review study found that 109% of all
medical students watch medical TV shows.
The study also found a positive predictive
value of 1563 between what TV show a
student watches and their personality. So
what does your favourite medical show say
about you:

ER
You entered medicine so that one day you can
walk down the corridor, get on one knee and
pump the ground with your fist. You may be
balding and everyone remembers you from
something in 1986.                                             House
                                                               You attempt to diagnose every patient by
Chicago Hope                                                   almost killing them then bringing them back
You will become a high flying surgeon but                      to life. You are convinced that “everybody
your personal life will most likely be a                       lies”. Dr Cuddy is a hottie and you will most
shambles. Consider staring psychotherapy                       likely become hooked on prescription pain
early as a preventive measure.                                 killers.

All Saint’s                                                    Nip/Tuck
You bear a striking resemblance to Georgie                     You think all doctors drive Ferraris and hope
Parker, very worrying if you’re a guy.                         to have a string of mistresses. You prefer to
Medicine is probably not for you. You will                     wear brown scrubs. You may end up involved
most likely end up working on PlaySchool.                      in some dodgy dealings.

RPA                                                            M.A.S.H.
You are a PBL know it all and use it as a source               You enjoy heavy drinking, and pulling pranks
of medical information. You need to expand                     especially on senior staff. You will end up with
your TV watching – try Family Guy or So You                    a cool nickname like “Eagle-orbit”.
Think You Can Dance.
                                                               Dr Quinn Medicine Woman
Medical Emergency                                              You are a total sissy. You need to toughen up
You couldn’t get a job at RPA so you work in                   – drink a big glass of concrete then watch
an emergency ward without the glitz and                        some Chuck Norris movies.
glamour.
                                                               Private Practice
Grey’s Anatomy                                                 You are destined to be a lower rating spin off
You think the only people worth associating                    of your higher rating colleagues. You soon
with are doctors and you will only date other                  learn ginger hair doesn’t get you everywhere.
doctors. You have slept with the majority of
your colleagues and can down a bottle of                       Scrubs
tequila, dance around all night and still                      You have a quirky internal monologue going
operate the next day. You have done major                      on in your head. You are goofy but funny and
surgery on yourself. You are often caught at                   likeable, you will have a hot girlfriend.
McDonalds ordering a McDreamy or
McSteamy.                                                      A/Prof. Max Cranium (Frac-Steth)


  You’ve been in med school too long when you refer to Kumar, Netter & Murtagh as though they are friends of yours.
STUFF...                                                                                                                      P AGE        20




What Type of Med Student are you?                                                 Answer these questions to find out...
Q1. What is DNA Gyrase?
  i) A dance performed by microbiologists in an attempt to attract a mate (NB. In clinical trials, 57 % of subjects required
hip replacements, 22% of subjects were arrested and one had to have a bottle surgically removed from an unmentionable
anatomical location….. However, ALL successfully managed to find mates which just goes to show that the sexiest thing
you can do is have a good time)
  ii) Part of a satellite navigation system used by James Bond
  iiii) A bacterial enzyme involved in replication
Q2. What is Einthoven’s triangle used for?
   i) To piss off second years by making their attempts to find the QRS axis needlessly hard
   ii) To sound cool when attempting to impress non-med people at parties (NB. Does not work. 99% of trials resulted in
missing self-respect syndrome when the subject woke the next day)
  iii) To help drunk post-exam med students find their way home, using only the stars and a piece of string.
Q3. Where does one find the crista terminalis?
  i) At the end of sin, before the altar, on the day your chickens come home to roost.
  ii) On the branch after the butterfly wings it.
  iii) In the heart where the smooth endothelium of the embryological sinus venarum intersects with the trabeculated
endothelium of the primitive atrium.

Answers
1.i) 5pts ii) 3pts     iii) 1pt                           2.i) 3pts ii) 1pt iii) 5pts                        3.i) 3pts ii) 5pts iii) 1pt

SCORE: 11-15 Med student type: Clown. PBL survival strategy: Make jokes when you don’t understand things thus
changing subject neatly. Then study arse off and the next day pretend you knew the answer all along. Suggested Role
Model: Patch Adams. Suggested Career Path: Politician. They have way more fun.
SCORE: 8 -11 Med student type: Everyman. PBL survival strategy: Conform. Stay quiet until and unless certain. Smile
lots and make others feel good about themselves. Suggested Role Model: You know… that dude… Suggested career
path: You’ll do well at anything.
SCORE: 3-5         Med student type: Overachiever. PBL Survival strategy: Fuel natural anxiety with coffee and red bull. Use
said anxiety to fuel study sessions. Make sure you only attend PBL when exhausted so that you do not irritate others with
your desire to answer EVERYTHING. Suggested Role Model: …. No one is really impressive enough for this are they?



 Legit Pauline Hanson Nude Pic
                            Being the esteemed purveyor of high class
                            journalism that we are here at Notre Da-
                            mus, we were appalled by the shocking
                            sloppiness of Rupert Murdoch’s papers last
                            week running images purporting to be of a
                            young Pauline Hanson nude and in various
                            ‘sensual’ poses. In an attempt to lead by
                            example, Notre Damus has sent out our
                            crack squad of investigative reporters to
                            uncover the truth. An indepth analysis,
                            involving watching Today Tonight, re-
vealed the photos in Rupert’s papers were actually fakes. Fur-
thermore we were able to track down actual nude photos of
Pauline Hanson* which in the name of professionalism we re-
produce for you here (above). Rupie-baby take note, Damus is
not a misspelling of Dumb-arse and we’ve got you in our sights.
*In case the actual redneck politician Hanson feels defamed by this and wants to
sue, our lawyers would like to make it clear that it may not actually be you in the
photo and that personally we’d rather gouge out our own eyeballs, or even work on
LO’s, than see you nude.
STUFF...                                                                                   P AGE    21




                      Gossip Girl’s surgically-removed conjoined-
                      twin Loose-lips Lizzie… shares the goss


There seems to be a new second-year super-couple gracing our hallowed
halls… the big blonde boy and little blonde girl have been spotted canood-
ling on the Esplanade. It’s rumoured they’re auditioning for the remake of
the Eighties hit movie ‘Twins’ starring Arnold Schwarzenegger and Danny
DeVito.                                                              >>>

Looselips has heard rumours that that two 2nd year hyperacheivers have
been sharing more than just study notes… Ed Rohr and Rohan Skiba were
spotted coming out of the downstairs toilets together - and Rohan's been
sporting stubble rash at about the same time Ed’s been sporting a beard?!?

Lizzie also heard there was a powerful display of cross-gender equality at Crissy Norris’s 30th Birth-
day bash… apparently some ladies were utilising the male urinals - yes we said URINALS - while a gun
toting Trent Wilson (II) guarded the door. Trent apparently dropped the ball on the that one though,
as a few random punters were treated to a Gold Class view of a shiny white arse. We can’t reveal
Sxxxx’s name – but we can testify there was definitely no more than 2 shakes.

                  <<< Lady Killer Lachie Nave from 3rd year was busted sporting ladies shoes at the
                  inaugural Friday Friendlies at Rosie’s. While the look did lengthen his legs and
                  tighten his arse, it did not have the desired effect of preventing his eviction for in-
                  appropriate footwear. We can neither confirm nor deny the presence of a lacy G
                  String under his footy shorts... although Lizze has her suspicions.

                  The PBL mentoring scheme has gotten off to a solid start - however it seems some
                  of the 2nd years are taking it new level... A certain 2nd year repeat offender was
                  seen exiting the Friday ‘super’ Friendlies with a fresh faced first year. It remains to
                  be seen whether this bold new initiative will be formally implemented by the uni-
                  versity administration.

                   There is some evidence to suggest the university
                   might be encouraging staff/student “mentoring” -
the prestigious Professor Donna Mak was spotted in the front seat of
2nd Year Andrew Dunn’s Falcon - leaving the Fremantle campus one
rainy afternoon at high speeds… Destination unknown.           >>>
Meet Your Committee - MSAND ’09                                                    P AGE     22




 It’s a new year and there’s a new MSAND committee in place (well, not so new
 now I suppose but hey this is only an issue late and afterall, you pay peanuts, you get
 monkeys!) So we figured it’d be a good idea to present you with a form guide so
 you can get to know them and their peculiarities and also what they do for you.




 JAMES RUNCIMAN                MARCEL NEURAUTER              ANIA SMIALKOWSKI
  President                    Vice President                Secretary
 ‘Knows every single way to    ‘Has had his annual whale     ‘Knows how to communi-
 skin a cat’                   kill quota increased to       cate with bison via sign lan-
                               stimulate economic growth’    guage’




 GEORGIA WILLIAMS              GABI KRAHENBUHL               MEGAN WRATE
 Treasurer                     Social Rep                    Education Rep
 ‘Is a circus midget’          ‘Can fart the alphabet’       ‘Speaks in tongues’
Meet Your Committee - MSAND ’09                                                    P AGE    23




 LIZ CONNOR                    ANDREW DUNN                  CHARLIE GALLAGHER
 Social Justice Rep            IT Overlord                  Rural Rep
 ‘Once fought off an entire    ‘Was the last person exe-    ‘Is known to go nude for
 squadron of VCs with only a   cuted in WA’                 weeks at a time to cut
 paper cup and some celery’                                 down on laundry expenses
                                                            to make the books balance’




 CHANTELLE ROUSS               FINTAN ANDREWS               ROHEN SKIBA
 AMSA Rep                      Sports Rep                   2nd Year Rep
 ‘Once lost her squadron in    ‘Works part-time as an El-   ‘Once licked a cat from
 an ambush involving one       vis impersonator (from the   head to tail to see if it was
 woman with a paper cup        cheeseburger era)’           clean’
 and some celery’
Meet Your Committee - MSAND ’09                                                    P AGE   24




 SARAH GRAINGER                 SAM BLAXELL                   STEPHANIE BISHOP
 1st Year Rep                   3rd Year Rep                  4thYear Rep
 ‘Performs backyard sex-        ‘Is wanted dead or alive’     ‘Danced so hard she’s got
 change operations’                                           prosthetic feet’




 ALEX SLEEMAN                   LACHLAN NAVE                  JEREMY CROKER
 1st Year Rep                   3rd Year Rep                  4thYear Rep
 ‘Passes out so naked that      ‘Nibbled Nobbies Nuts’        ‘Can bend steel with his
 the RSPCA gets called’                                       famed stare of lust’




                             MIKE FROOD
                             Media/PR Rep
                             ‘Is the space cowboy’          www.msand.org.au/committee
What The Reps Reckon                                       Words of wisdom from those wise warriors
                                                                                                               P AGE     25




Sarah & Alex - 1st Year
Hi all! Our names are Sarah and Alex and we are the first year reps on the MSAND Committee. Sarah is from Bris-Vegas
and chose to move to Perth because she’d heard it was a great place to live (nobody told her shops were closed Sundays
and that it’s bloody expensive here…) and Notre Dame University gave off a great vibe! Alex grew up in Perth, but after
spending 12 years travelling the world with the Navy, he decided to come back to Perth to complete his studies. We
both put our hands up to be a rep because we love being involved, helping to organise, making a difference, and contribut-
ing to a community, in this case, you guys! We are both enjoying it so far, and we look forward to getting elbow deep in
what matters to us first years! If there is anything we can do to to help out, or anything that you feel the MSAND Com-
mittee should be doing, feel free to come and see us for a chat.



Rohen - 2nd Year
The MSAND 2nd Year Rep job has seen me represent MED200 on a couple of issues so far. The major issue which I’ve
been attempting to rectify (without any luck) has been the requirement for us to do Ethics summaries. I will continue to
work on the Ethics issue; however I am assured these summaries are beneficial to our ethical understanding. The other
issue which we should hopefully have more luck with is hassling staff to get our lecture notes put up on time, not always
possible, but is always handy. Now onto the positives which we have achieved; with the considerable help from our Prez,
James Runciman and Scott Sargant, we have started the MED100 mentor program, which is running smoothly so far. So a
massive thanks to all the fantastic MED200 students which have volunteered their time and effort. All seems to be going
not to bad in the world of MED200, however if you want something done or feel something should be improved let me
know and I’ll get on the task.



Sam - 3rd Year
O&G: Public vs Private. The finish line lies ahead for my O&G rotation: 4 weeks at Swan Districts then 4 more at St
John of God Subiaco. Two quite different experiences. Swan Districts (the public hospital exhibit in this dramatic compari-
son) is almost a country hospital. Half of the patients are wheat belt folk, the other half are midland locals, and the third
half are from Kalamunda and the Swan Valley. But the country feel pervades: the atmosphere is old fashioned, relaxed and
one storied. Let me get to the point! The five obstetricians at SDH have a collective 125 years O&G experience under
their belt, heading towards 200. And with such a great… diversity… of patients, there is an awesome amount to learn out
there. Swannies was real and comprehensive. Now, when one says SJOG Subiaco, one must realise this also includes SJOG
Murdoch, Hollywood, Mercy, Attadale and Kaleeya. Really the common basis here is the staff – they practice at all these
locations, with a vast network of strands gluing them together into a unified private endo-culture. And the staff are VERY
highly qualified. Some are leaders in their field, certainly in Australia, sometimes internationally. This adds up to an experi-
ence overload. Don’t expect a spare moment to catch up with paperwork. It’s really up to you in this environment to
patch together the whole picture, it’s a magic bag that’s as big as you want it to be. So, in my vast unified micro-opinion,
public is great for a fantastic view of the whole picture from bottom up and lays down a comprehensive groundwork to
learn upon, where as private packs the big guns in superhero clinicians and gives a plethoric view of the many endpoints in
the specialty spectrum. Really, I’m just glad I did both.



Jeremy & Stephanie - 4th Year
Welcome back to uni everyone and a particular welcome to the first years starting Medicine at Notre Dame this year.
Jeremy Croker and I are the Fourth Year Representatives for MSAND this year. We have got a very busy year ahead in-
cluding the following year specific events: End of Academic Year Function Friday 16th October 2009; Post-Elective
Catch-up Thursday 10th Dec 2009; Premier Event ~ The Graduation Lunch Sunday 13th Dec 2009 or Monday
14th Dec 2009 depending on when graduation actually will be. Of course there is also all the usual favourites throughout
the year too. Jeremy and I will be organising some educational events to help ease us into being Interns. This will include
events relating to salary packaging, financial planning and of course choosing your WA hospital. There are numerous com-
mittees that Jeremy and I (along with other MSAND representatives) will be representing you on which include: MSAND
(of course); Doctors in Training (DIT); St John of God Oversight Committee (SJOGOC); Post-Graduate Committee of
WA (PMCWA) JMO Forum. They have numerous meeting throughout the year, which we will feedback the relevant and
pertinent information. If you want an issue raised we will possible be able to table it. We will endeavour to keep you all up
to date with events that are going on through out the year. All in all it will be an exiting year.
Meet The Press                                                                                            P AGE   26




 Professor Donna Mak: Rockstar!
 Born? Hong Kong                                          virus        away from the Fitzroy Valley
 What were you in your                                    and          If you were stuck on a de-
 former (pre-med) life?                                   infil-       sert island what 5 things
 High school student at Meth-                             trate        would you take with you?
 odist Ladies College, Clare-                             peo-         Lots of water, food, books,
 mont, WA                                                 ple's        books and more books.
 If you were an animal                                    minds?       Last, but not least, who
 what would it be? A virus                                What         would you turn gay for? That
 because I would like my ideas                            makes        implies that no one selected for
 to infiltrate and influence the                          you          a Notre Damus interview is gay.
 people I come in contact with                            angry?       I think the question should be
 in the way that viruses get                              People       'Whom/what would you change
 incorporated into other or-       who don't taken responsibil-        your sexual orientation for?'
 ganisms and replicate them-       ity for their actions.
 selves.                           What's the best thing               I chose this photo because the
 If you could be any super-        about living in Perth? My           name Zosha (Polish for Sophie as
 hero who would you be             family, my 7 chooks, my 2           she is Polish chicken) was sug-
 and what powers would             jobs, my house and garden,          gested to me by one of the stu-
 you have? Who needs su-           Nedlands library.                   dents in my first PBL group in
 perpowers if you can be a         What's the worst? Being             2005. Zosha is now deceased.



 Stephanie Bishop: 4th Year Med Student
 Born? Natural delivery, but                                             If you were stuck on a de-
 no hippie crap.                                                         sert island what 5 things
 What were you in your                                                   would you take with you?
 former (pre-med) life?                                                  I suppose I better take my hus-
 An ICU nurse aka "super                                                 band, though a hot younger
 nurse"                                                                  variety of the male species
 If you were an animal                                                   would be better, especially if he
 what would it be? I would                                               was adept in massage and
 like to be a cameleon, so I                                             cleaning. Take note Adam! Sun-
 could look it two directions      for those groovy boots and            screen, I freckle and burn
 at once and change colour to      magic lassoo… and the invisible       badly. Swiss army pocket knife,
 match my environment, plus        aeroplane.                            with nail clipper function and
 have a funky walk.                What makes you angry?                 toothpick; a boat to leave
 If you could be any super-        Idiots! Yes there is such a thing     whenever I like, something
 hero who would you be             as a stupid question.                 along the lines of the grand
 and what powers would             What’s the best thing about           yachts you see in Monte Carlo
 you have? I would have the        living in Perth? Leaving it fre-      would do; a good book
 power to learn by osmosis.        quently. The beaches are pretty       Last, but not least, who
 Just sitting next to the text-    good and I do like a good Sun-        would you turn gay for?
 book on anatomy and physi-        day sesh at the OBH.                  Colin Firth, if he asked me it
 ology would ensure my             What’s the worst?                     would be a definite yes. I would
 knowledge. I think I would        Having to come back. So far           do anything to keep that man
 have to be Wonder Women           from the rest of the world!           happy. "Oh Mr Darcy"
Meet The Press                                                                                      P AGE   27




 Michael McCreery: 3rd Year Med Student
 Born? 1982 – Gemini
 What were you in your
 former (pre-med) life?
 I was an engineer but my
 true passion was training
 racing sparrows
 If you were an animal
 what would it be?
 I’d be a sulphur-crested
 racing sparrow. It’s proba-
 bly the fastest of all the
 sparrows
 If you could be any su-
 perhero who would you            What’s the best thing           A rope
 be and what powers               about living in Perth?          A knife
 would you have?                  The weather and the space       A pig
 I’d be called the urchin bear,   What’s the worst?               Some lemon seeds
 and my power would be to         The overpopulation of moun-     And David Attenborough
 hypnotise people with my         tain goats in the area          Last, but not least, who
 incredibly mobile shoulders      If you were stuck on a de-      would you turn gay for?
 What makes you angry?            sert island what 5 things       Mr T
 People who waste cheese          would you take with you?




 David   ‘Monty’ Edwardes: 2nd Year Med Student
 Born? Adelaide, S.A                                                 Being 3000km away from
 What were you in your                                               the South Australian Mur-
 former (pre-med) life?                                              der Investigation Taskforce.
 A banker at ANZ                                                     What’s the worst?
 If you were an animal                                               No Farmers Union iced
 what would it be?                                                   coffee
 One of those small fish that                                        If you were stuck on a
 swim under the big                                                  desert island what 5
 sharks...Life would be a                                            things would you take
 breeze!                                                             with you?
 If you could be any super-                                          A carton of Farmer’s Union
 hero who would you be                                               iced coffee
 and what powers would                                               A bucket of Nutella
 you have?                                                           A fishing rod
 Super-Ted, with Jedi powers,                                        Malcom Douglas’ outback
 Batman’s car, the Phantom’s                                         survival series
 Horse and Chris Donohue’s                                           Malcolm Douglas’ dog
 Lats.                                                               Last, but not least, who
 What makes you angry?            have to park my van 8 kilome-   would you turn gay for?
 Underground carparks! They       tres away just to get a park.   Ghanim Almahbobi
 never have clearance greater     What’s the best thing
 than 2.5 metres - so I always    about living in Perth?
Meet The Press                                                                                         P AGE   28




 Keith Potent AKA ‘Dr Potent’: 1st Year Med Student
 Born? 11 minutes quicker                                                            would you
 than my twin… in Brisbane                                                           take with
 What were you in your                                                               you? More
 former (pre-med) life?                                                              than just a dia-
 Animal, vegetable and min-                                                          per that's for
 eral… Field Sampling Officer,                                                       sure! Maybe a
 Sydney Water Corp.                                                                  surfboard, my
 If you were an animal                                                               yoga pants,
 what would it be? Lion…                                                             cotton buds for
 because i like African music...                                                     cleaning out my
 a wimmaaweey a wim-                                                                 ears after a
 maaweey, in the jungle...                                                           surf, my old
 If you could be any su-                                                             faithful pluggers
 perhero who would you                                                               (thongs for non
 be and what powers                                                                  -Qlder folk)
 would you have? Or-                                                                 and a Wilson
 gasmo... enough said                                                                Volleyball - I
 What makes you angry?              Doctor                          dunno why either?!
 Ignorance, disrespect and          What’s the worst? Prox-         Last, but not least, who
 cruelty                            imity to quality surf           would you turn gay for? Alan
 What’s the best thing              If you were stuck on a de-      Wright because I'm a sucker for
 about living in Perth? The         sert island what 5 things       a bloke with a mo




 Lisa Martin: Defence Force Scholar
 Tell us about yourself pre                                        any monetary concerns. I don’t
 Med? Mmm seems so long                                            have to worry about getting a
 ago. I was living in Canberra                                     job or having to deal with the
 and was actually studying my                                      wonders of Centerlink, which
 last degree, but thanks to the                                    is fantastic. I have free medical
 joys of having actual free time                                   and dental and all my text-
 I filled it with snow trips, ca-                                  books are also payed for. Hey,
 fes and numerous road trips                                       as a real example I was able to
 to Sydney.                                                        travel to the Hawaiian islands
 You’ve taken a defence                                            last year due to this scheme so
 scholarship, who’d you go                                         you will hear no complaints
 with and why? I signed the                                        from me.
 dotted line January last year      scholarship appealing? For Where are you planning on
 with the Air Force. Admit-         me the Air Force gave me the working in the future? It
 tedly I am biased, as I love       opportunity to not only work comes down to where I am
 the Air force I am what is         in areas of great need through needed really. I have been told
 called a “RAAF brat” as my         humanitarian endeavours but    so far that after I have com-
 Dad is also enlisted. Other-       also get practise in aviation  pleted my military training after
 wise, I love to fly and being      medicine and travel the world residency that I will spend a
 part of that environment           as a bonus.                    minimum of 6 months over-
 really attracted me.               How’s it helped you so far? seas. But back here I could be
 Why was the defence                Seriously they have removed    at any of the military bases.
Don’t let the door hit ya on the way out                                                             P AGE   29




 MISSING PERSONS
 Have you seen this man?
                                                                         Inamul Rahamin

                                                                         Last seen mid-2008
                                                                         wearing a silly grin
                                                                         and an air of inde-
                                                                         pendence.
                                                                         He is feared to have
                                                                         been abducted and
                                                                         being held against his
                                                                         will.
                                                          Suspect may be
                                                          short and / or carry-
 ing a whip. Suspect may have been aided by the dancing professor.

 If seen – please call crimestoppers. His mates miss him.



                                      Out with the old, in with the new
                                       Phew!        candy for yas all. You have been warned.
                                       Well that    And of course we kicked off the page 3 girl
                                       was a ride   this month, and wasn’t (s)he a looker!! As
                                       and a half   mentioned, if you’ve got a pic you reckon
                                       wasn’t it.   could spice up next month’s page 3, send it
                                       Told ya      this way.
                                       she’d        Coming up in the next issue, due out May
 gained some girth. Let’s just hope it was as       6, we’ll be doing a Rural Clinical School
 good for you as it was for us.                     special feature, checking in with our class
 You probably noticed a few changes this            of ‘08 as they begin life as an intern, intro-
 month – we had a few new columns and con-          ducing an illicit drug amnesty bin and all
 tributions; there is now advertising in Notre      sorts of other random bits and pieces.
 Damus and will continue to be so. These ads        Hope you’ll be able to join us.
 are from our sponsors who buff us out pretty       Well, back to study I guess, it’s been a
 hard, so where possible support them if you        pleasure procrastinating with you. Until
 can.                                               next time be good, work hard and deny
 And spurred on by boy-wonder Andrew                everything.
 Dunn I’ve had a bit of a stab at improving the      Oh, and of course the 5 year med thing on
 visual aesthetics this month but strap your-       the cover was just an April Fools Day
 selves in before next month fires out of the       prank – couldn’t let the day pass uncele-
 blocks coz Dunny’s gonna get funky on our          brated!
 arse and serve up some retina-burning eye          Rock on!

				
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