English SMS Jokes
Wats d height of hope??
It is: sittin in d exam hall,
holdin d question paper in hand
n tellin ur self
“dude,dnt worry.
Exams wil get postponed!”
Rain of summer, snow of winter,
grace of autumn, glory of spring,
May beauty of every season
give ur heart a beautiful reason 2 smile.
May God suceed u in every exams of ur life.
Good luck & all the best
Good FRIENDS are hard to find,
harder to leave,
and impossible to forget.
eXams are there,
at the paper u stare;
the answer is nowhere,
which makes u pull ur hair.
The teachers make u glare,
the grades r not fair,
but just like the past 20 yrs,
WE DONT CARE !!
Human brain is the most
outstanding object in world.
It functions 24 hours a day,
365 days a year.
It functions right from the time we are born,
and stop only when we enter the examination hall
To be a “Good professional”,
always start to study late for “Exams”.
Because it teaches how to manage “Time”
and tackle “Emergencies”!!
To accomplish great things,
We must not only act,
But also dream,
Not only plan but also believe,
Exams are like Girl friends
- Too many questions
- Difficult to understand
- More explanation is needed
- Result is always fail!
A student grabbed a coin,
Flipped it in the air & said,
“Head, I go to sleep.”
Tail, I watch a movie.
If it stands on the edge I’ll study
It takes 15 trees to
produce the amount
of paper that we
use to write one exam.
join us in promoting the noble
cause of saving trees.
SAY NO TO EXAMS
You must be a good runner because
you are always running in my mind,
you must be a good thief because
you have stolen my heart,
and
i am always a bad shooter because
I Miss You Always...
True love is like a pillow
U could HUG it when u r in trouble
U could CRY on it when u r in pain
U could EMBRACE it when u r happy
Want True Love?
Spend Rs.50 BUY A PILLOW
Dictionary is da only place where death comes before life,
success before work,
& divorce before marriage.
but the Best part is
Friend comes before relatives :)
A true Friend
is not like
',",'Rain',",'
Which Rained & left away.
A true friend is like
~_~AIR_~_~
Symptoms silient but always around u :)
Take Care alot
May our friendship turn into silver, silver into gold, gold into
diamonds... and may our diamonds be forever... Then we'll sell it OK?
Fifty-Fifty
Three dreams of a man: To be as handsome as his mother thinks. To be as
rich as his child believes. To have as many women as his wife suspects
Child Donkey: Mum with whom shall I play, every donkey is busy. Mother
Donkey: Don't worry son, see here, this donkey will be free after reading
this SMS.
Husband asks, do you know the meaning of WIFE. It means… Without
Information fighting every time! WIFE says No, it means - With Idiot For
Ever
What's the difference between stress, tension and panic?
Stress is when wife is pregnant,
Tension is when girlfriend is pregnant,
Panic is when both are pregnant.
GALILEO:
great mind
EINSTEIN:
genius mind
NEWTON:
extraordinary mind
BILL GATES
brilliant mind
ME:
master mind
YOU:
oh!
never mind
I have a confession to make
ever since I met u its been hard for me to 4get u
every night I see u in my dreams
and find myself shouting
GHOST GHOST !!!
Some times small
things in life
hurt a lot.....
If u don't agree
with me....
Then >>>>
Try to sit
on a Common Pin !!
To live this life i need a heart beat, to have a heart beat i need a
heart to have a heart i need hapines and to have hapiness i need u
Wrote your name on the sands.....It got washed away,i wrote your name in
air....It got blown away,so i write your name in my heart...I got heart
attack!!!
Your attention please
Thanks 4 ur attention. Now carry on ur work...
Hey listen......
Two people were asking
Me about you,
I give them ur address
And cell no,
They will b visiting u soon,
Their names r joy n happiness.
Let me
draw ur
face!
Dont
MOVE!
Nearly
finished
OK
Done!
Wanna have
a look?
.,|!|,.
( o)(o)
( ,)
Height of fashion?
Dhoti wid zip.
Height of secrecy?
Blank visiting card.
Height of stupidity?
Looking thru a keyhole of glass door.
Height of honesty?
Pregnant woman purchases 1 & a half ticket.
Height of de-hydration?
A cow giving milk powder.
Height of timewasting?
U reading the whole msg.
Friendship is the rainbow between
2 hearts
sharing of 7 colors.
1.LOVE
2.SADNESS
3.HAPPINESS
4.TRUST
5.FAITH
6.SECRET
7.CARE
Take Care n Have a nice day:-)
A 992 i
n0279q biquT2
2m2 pni992
.2iHT 9>IiI
(use mirror to read)
pls dnt erase!
its really interesting
This iz crime story
5 frndz lived in a room
Namely
MAD
BRAIN
FOOL
NOBODY
SOMEBODY
1day SOMEBODY killed NOBODY.
At that time BRAIN was in bathroom,
MAD called police.
MAD:Is it police station?
Police:Yes,wht iz the matter?
MAD:SOMEBODY killed NOBODY.
Police:R u mad?
MAD:Yes,i"m MAD.
Police:Dnt u've BRAIN.
MAD:BRAIN iz in bathroom..
Police:U FOOL...
MAD:No,FOOL is reading this sMs
it takes 15 trees 2 produce d amount of paper dat we use 2 write in 1
exam.join us in promoting d noble coz of saving treez.....say NO 2
exams:-)
I
miss
"STARS"
sTARs think i m serious
bUt i m joking!
I
miss
"MOON"
m00n thinks i m serious
bUt im joking!
I
miss
"U"
U think i m joking
but i m serious!
Medicines and friendship
cure our problems.
The only difference is that,
Friendship don't have an expiry date.
Today is Donald Duck's birthday .... :)
So wish him by sending this sms to every cartoon you know.
Just like I did by sending this sms to you...
Roses r red violets r blue.
Monkeys like u should kept in a zoo Don't get angry because u will find
me there too. Not in a cage but laughing at you
Dear customer,
U r not using ur SmS service properly.Ur sim will be deactivated soon.To
avoid this,urgently reply with a cute SmS to the sender.
Sndr's watng?
3 monkeys escaped from zoo!
Ist watching T.V. 2nd plays soccer n 3rd is...
Not u yaar ! 3rd is eating banana.y u r always think u r a monkey
I'd love to take u out 4 dinner, make u sit beside the candle light,
shower u with roses and utter those 3 magical words in ur ear "PAY THE
BILL
Once Upon a Time, Something happened to me.
It was the sweetest thing that ever could be.
It was a fantasy, a dream come true
it was the day I met you.
Love is like a cloud...
love is like a dream...
love is 1 word and everything in between...
love is a fairytale come true...
Coz I found love when I found U.
Roses are red, violets are blue,
I was born beautiful,
but what the hell happened to you?
Girls are like phones,
we like to be held and talked too,
but if you press the wrong button you'll be disconnected!
We will now upgrade your brain,
please wait....
Searching....
searching...
still searching....
sorry,
NO BRAIN found...!
Roses r red, violets r blue,
Sugar is sweet, and so are u.
But the roses r wilting, the violets r dead,
The sugar bowl's empty and so is your head!
This sms can only be read by someone SMART,
try again,
again,
maybe you are..
just not smart??
one more time.
hey don't force it ugly!!!
Last night I wanted to send you a msg,
But all I could write was,
“noh ss!w !”.
It didn’t make mush sense
Until I read it upside down...
I'd love to ask how old you are,
but unfortunately I know you can't count that high.
Who said English is easy???
Fill in the blanks with YES or NO.
1.______I don’t have Brain.…
2.______I don’t have Sense.…
3.______I am Stupid....
A physiological study has proved that
all the fools, donkeys, monkeys
used their thumbs to read the messages
Don’t change your finger know its too late.
How to keep an idiot entertained
*press down*
…………………………………
How to keep an idiot entertained
*press up*
FRIENDSHIP isn't how U forget but how U forgive,
Not how U listen but how U Understand,
Not what U see but how U feel,
and not how U Let Go but how U hold on!!!
WIFE : Worries Invited For Ever
A Friendship is Sweet when its NEW..
Its Sweeter when its TRUE
But Its Sweetest when the friend is like U.
Doctor : A person who cures the ills by pills,
and kills by his bills.
How do you keep an idiot in suspense............??
Tell you later........
Hello I am a virus and I am entering your brain right now...
Sorry I am leaving now, I can't find a brain
A million words would not bring you back,
I know, because I've tried.
Neither would a million tears.
I know, because I've cried.
Hey friend remember that without stupidity
there can be no wisdom and
without ugliness there can be no beauty.
so the world needs YOU after all!
Minds are like Parachutes.
They work best when open
If I could rearrange the alphabet,
I'd put U and I together
Aim for the stars.
But first, aim for their bodyguards
ALGEBRA: A weapon of math destruction
Why were males created before females?
Because you always need a rough draft before the final copy
This dog, is dog, a dog, good dog, way dog,
to dog, keep dog, an dog, idiot dog, busy dog,
for dog, 20 dog, seconds dog! ...
Now read without the word dog.
All day I thought of you....
I was at the zoo.
CNN News.
Bush orders 15,000 FBI trained dogs to track down Osama.
FBI awaiting further orders as one of the dogs is reading this
Calling you an idiot would be an insult to all the stupid people.
Hi there, I'm a human being!
What are you?
Brains aren't everything.
In fact in your case they're nothing
I heard someone whisper your name,
but when I turned around to see who it was,
I notice I was alone,
then I realize it was my heart
telling me that I miss you.
My eyes are hurting coz I can't see U,
My arms are empty coz I can't hold U,
My lips are cold coz I can't kiss U
but, My heart is breaking coz I'm not with U!
I need you to know our friendship means a lot -
If you cry then I cry,
if you laugh then I laugh..
if you jump out the window
I look down then....I laugh again
True friends warm the heart,
make you laugh, smile...
yes, you are a true friend.
A friend may well be reckoned the masterpiece of nature.
Always draw a circle around the ones you love,
never draw a heart because hearts can be broken,
but circles are never ending.
Memories last forever, they simply never die,
true friends stay together - they NEVER say good-bye.
God made man and then rested.
God made women and then no one rested
I believe in Angels, the ones that Heaven sends.
Each day I tell those Angels,
you are my best of friends.
Friendships multiply joys and divide grief.
Without humor, life sucks
Without Love, Life seems hopeless.
But without a friend like you,
life is nearly impossible.
If you need advice, text me...
if you need a friend, call me ...
if you need me, come to me...
if you need money........
SUBSCRIBER CANNOT BE REACHED!
It takes a minute to have a crush,
an hour to like someone,
and a day to love someone,
but it takes a lifetime to forget someone.
If you can't change your mind,
are you sure you still have one?
Marriage is a three ring circus:
an engagement ring,
a wedding ring,
and suffering
A successful man is one who makes more money
than his wife can spend.
What is the thinnest book in the world?
What Men Know About Women
What's the quietest place in the world?
The complaint department at the parachute packing plant
News: 3 Chimps escaped from the zoo...
1 was caught watching tv...
another playing football and
the third one was caught reading this txt message
Posted by pzbodekar2006 at 12:29 AM 0 comments
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Labels: English SMS Jokes
Friends SMS - English
sweet but not honey, precious but not money, bright but not sunshine,
Improves with time but not wine, dont know?? ,it's me..!
I do not think much, I do not think often, but when I do think, I think
of you
Without humor, life sux. Without courage, life is hard. Without love,
life is hopeless. Without friends like you, life is impossible!
True friends are like Diamonds... they are real and rare. False friends
are like leaves... they are scattered everywhere.
GOD is so wise that he never created FRIENDS with pricetags, Because.....
if He did, I can't afford a precious FRIEND like YOU!!!
Time might lead me to nowhere; Fate might break me apart; I'll always be
thankful that once, along my life's journey I found a friend like U...
The times we shared is like shooting star... the time is short but really
beautiful moments.... Forever engraved in our hearts.... Friends
forever~!!!
FriEndSHiP iS A PRiCeLeSs GiFt tHaT cAn'T Be BoUgHt Or SoLd, BuT To Have
An UnDeRsTaNdiNg FriEnd iS FaR MoRe WoRtH tHaN GoLd~!
DuRiNg OuR FrIeNdShIp, ThErE wIlL B TiMeS U wOn't SeE Me BeSiDe U, DuN
ThInK I LeFt U BeHiNd, I JuSt ChOsE To WaLk BeHiNd U So I CaN CaTcH U
WhEn U Fall...
You're eyes are soft en tender,as sweet as they can be.There's one thing
you must remember, you are the one for me!!!
If flowers were dreams that would last for ever, I would pick the most
beautiful ones to send to you
Notice ur phone got heavier with this message ? it contains load of love.
affection and prayers to keep u happy n safe. Have a nive sleep Good
nite!
The recipe of friendship:, 1 cup of sharing.. 2 cups of caring.. 3 cups
of forgiveness &hugs.. mixx all these together to make friends 4 ever..
Ur words r ANTIBIOTICS, Ur smile is ANALOGESIC, Ur touch is ANTI-
INFLAMTORY, Ur presence is ANTISEPTIC, Ur SMS is ANTI-PYRETIC.. that's
why i never fall ill:)
No gold or precious stones ... give us happiness and peace, friendship
and its warmth ... will bring it to us
My husband and I cannot decide... a dog or a child..do we ruin our carpet
or our life?
Everyone hears what you say... Friends listen to what you say... Best
friends listen to what you don't say...
Posted by pzbodekar2006 at 12:25 AM 0 comments
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Labels: Friends SMS - English
Friends SMS - English
With my 1 heart.. 2 eyes.. 5 litter blood...206 bones.. 1.2 million red
cells.. 60 trillion D.N.A.'s.. I wish u "very GOOD DAY"...!
Life is not easy and it will never be, but you've got friends and one of
them is me ...
=:FRIENDSHIP is:=, vast like..."Universe" , Deep like.. "Ocean", high
like.. "Sky", strong like.. "Iron", kind like.. "Mother", cute
like..."Me", and sweet like.."U"!
Hold 10 Roses in ur hand & stand opposite of the mirror, U'll see 11
Roses & among them, the most Beautiful rose in the World is U my dear
friend...
Have a "HEART" that never breaks, Have a"SMILE" that never fades, HAve a
touch that never Hurt$, Have a "FRIENDSHIP" that naver ends , Like Ours!
There's st@ry behind every friendship. Each friend we make is start @f
each st@ry, our st@ry had a w@nderful begining.. H@pe this st@ry,never
has an ending!
MY friendship is just like a rubber band, It is too flexible, Stretch it
as much as u can, but if u leave it,it 'll hurt u a lot, really a lot!
It's like reaching 4 a star, u know u can't reach it, but u keep trying,
coz.. may be 1 day that star just might fall 4 u! gud morning.
A friend is always welcome ... Early in the morning or late at night.
Time is of no importance ... When it concerns real friendship!!
Sharp is your memory, sweet is your name, deep in my heart you 'll always
reman!
There r many stars but the Moon is u. There r many friend$ but the Sweet
one is u. To forget me is n@w up t@ u. T@ forget u is something i will
never ever d@...
plants are green and earth is blue, why ur so nice to me i want a clue,
What ever may be the resone like u , b'coz in world like this, i will
never get a friend like you!
Freindship happens inside the heart, Slient.. Unwritten.. Unnbreakable by
distance..Unchangeable by time.. Once a Friend, always a Freind.!
Rose are waiting for hours, need one touch of yours, my life is like a
rose. need one love dose flowers grows with love & sunshine, &i'll live
till you remain mine.
If I had a penny every time I thought of you, I'd still miss you,but at
least I would be rich!
Take my hand and lead me from this place.. Chase away my doubts and
fears,Wipe the tears from off my face.. I can't stand alone, I need your
hand to hold.!
F: FIELD of LOVE!..R: ROOT ofJOy!.. I: ISLAND of GOD!.. E: END of
SCRROW!.. N: NAME of HOPE!.. D: DOOR of UNDERSTANDING! tats YOU my
FRIEND..
Posted by pzbodekar2006 at 12:24 AM 0 comments
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Labels: Friends SMS - English
Friends SMS - English
Meeting you was fate, becoming your friend was choice, but falling in
love with you was completely out of my control.
I want to share everything with you, your sadness, your happy moments,
every single second of the day.
Tiny starz shining bright its time 4 me 2 say goodnite, so close ur eyes
& snuggle up tight I'm wishin u sweet dreams 2nite!
Wat makes a friendship special is d way each one remembers d other wen
day r apart. day mis d talks, d lafs n d tyme day wer 2gedr. lyf changes
memories dont... i miss u...!
Morning is God's way of saying '1 more time .. Go, live life make a
difference touch ones heart, encourage 1's mind inspire 1's soul & enjoy
d day...' 1 more time.!
Arre..listen.. 2ppl were askin me ur details 2 day. I gave them ur
address n no. They will b visiting u soon. Their names r JOY &
HAPPINES.!!!
Know what makes me happy wen u msg me? Not ur jokes, Graphics or sweet
msgs but ur NAME that
"APPEARS" on the call when it beeps knowing that u remember me.!
Our FRIENDSHIP is not like NIKE- just do it, not like PEPSI- yeh dil
mange more,not like WILLS- made 4 each other , But like LIC- zindagi k
sath bhi , zindagi ke baad bhi!
Our FRIENDSHIP is not like NIKE- just do it, not like PEPSI- yeh dil
mange more,not like WILLS- made 4 each other , But like LIC- zindagi k
sath bhi , zindagi ke baad bhi!
Don't listen to your mind. Listen always to your heart!
Never abandon old friends. They are hard 2 replace. Friendships is like
wine: it gets BETTER as it grows OLDER. Just like us... i get BETTER, u
get OLDER.
We've known each other by CHANCE, became friends by CHOICE, still friends
by DECISION. And when we say FRIEND FOREVER, that's definitely a lifetime
PROMISE!
If you need advice, text me... If you need a friend, call me... If you
need me, come to me... If you need money... ........... THE SUBSCRIBER
CANNOT BE REACHED!
I believe in angels, the kind that heaven sends. I'm surrounded by angels
but I call them my best friends.
Passion running trough my veins, trembling, waiting, reason is fading.
Overpowering desire set
24 sweet hours makes 1 sweet day! 7 Sweet day! makes 1 Sweet week! 4
Sweet weaks make 1 Sweet person like u meakes the life sweet!
Life without ur SMS is Tea W/o sugar, Coffee W/o milk, Bread W/o
butter,Salad W/o onion, Candy W/o cream, Chicken W/o spice, Icecream W/o
ice, ME W/o U!
Posted by pzbodekar2006 at 12:23 AM 0 comments
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Labels: Friends SMS - English
Friends SMS - English
Make your life a house your heart can live in. With a door that is open
to receive friends. And a garden full of memories … of many good things.
I must have been born under a lucky star , to find a friend as nice as
you are. I will follow the rainbow to the end , if you promise to
I must have been born under a lucky star , to find a friend as nice as
you are. I will follow the rainbow to the end , if you promise to
If i get ur Smile, I dont need Flowers,If i get ur Voice, I dont need
Music, If u speack to me, I dont need anybody else,U just b my Friend, I
dont need the world!
Dont" keep me in ur eyes, i may fall as tears keep me in ur heart, so
that ur every "Heart Beat" may remainds u thats there is "someone 4 u".
Days are too BUSY.. Hours are too FEW.. Seconds are too FAST.. but there
is Always a time for me to ask.. How R U? n Hope Ur FINE.. MISS U!
Hello! What's wrong with your mobile Tried so many times but it says"The
subscriber your are trying to reach is in your heart"!!
This is a bridge of friendship, when you'r sad & lonely cross it, I 'll
wait on the other side & if u afarid just tell I'll cossit!! I'm your
friend 4 ever!
Sumtime i 4get 2say HI, sumtime i miss 2reply,sumtimes my msg doesn't
reach u, but it doesnt mean i 4get u,bcoz. ur 1 of a kind and always in
mind...
If one night a big fat man jumps in at your window grabs you and puts you
in a sack don't worry I told Santa I wanted you for CHRISTMAS
I love all the stars in the sky, but they are nothing compared to the
ones in your eyes!
I always thought loving some1 was the greatest feeling, but I realised
tat loving a friend is even better, we lose ppl we love but we never lose
true friends.
this WORLD, where everything seems UNCERTAIN, only one thing is DEFINITE.
You'll always be my FRIEND, beyond WORDS, beyond TIME & beyond DISTANCE!
FRIENDSHIP isn't how U forGet but how U forGive, Not how U liSten but how
U UnderStand, Not what U see but how U feel, and not how U Let Go but how
U hold oN!!!
The sun is glazing, upon the sunlight i see the path of our friendship
shining brightly knowing that it is so great to have a friend like YOU!
:)
There is a gift that gold cannot buy, a blessing dats rare & true, dats
the gift of a wonderful friend like the friend dat i have in u!
6 rules to be HAPPY: Free your heart from hatred; Free your mind from
worries; Live simply; Expect less; Give more & Always have ME as UR
FRIEND
Posted by pzbodekar2006 at 12:23 AM 0 comments
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Labels: Friends SMS - English
Friends SMS - English
A friend is never a coincidence in your life, they are meant to enter
your life to bring you joy and laughter. So, i will treasure the
friendship between us.
The ship that will never sink is my friendship with you. I met U as a
stranger, I leave U as a friend, as long as the world stands, our
friendship nv ends. All friends nv split N even if they do they will meet
again.
One tree can start a forest, One Smile can start Friendship , One touch
can show luv n care, & One friend like u can make life worth-living!
If u drop me, i 'll break, If u hold me, i 'll shake, If u need me, i'll
hurry, If u don't call me, i 'll worry, If u hurt me, i'll cry, but
friend , If u leave me, i 'll die...
Feelings R many but Words R few.. Clouds R dark, But Sky is blue.. Love
is a paper, life is a glue Everything is false.. but Friendship s
True...!!
Longest love is mother's love,Shotest love is other love, Sweetest love
is Lover's love, but Strongest love is friend love., like u and me!
Conducting a blood test on u... testing... testing in progress... result:
SORRY HIV+(HONEY IN VEINS) ur full of honey no wonder ur so sweet!
If time slips away without a word from Me, u dont have 2 worry abt our
Relationship bcoz feelings beyond words will always keep me with ur
heart.!
A friend gives hope when life is low, A friend is a place you've no where
to go,A friend is
honest,friend is true, A friend is percious, A friend is you.!!!
True friendship never fades with Time:), become more tasteful like old
Wine:)), only a friend can understand words and convert the rolling tears
into a Smile!
MY FRIEND should be... My madicine when i'm in pain, MY letter when i'm
Far, My smile whan i'm sad, My handkerchef when i cry, My life when i
die!
Remember that you are unique... just like everybody else!
keep the lamp of friendship burning with oil of love, bcoz sun rise in
east and sets in west but friendship rises in HEART and sets after DEATH!
I cant find a reason why God gave U to me , but that is not the question
to b asked,May b the question is how did God knew that i needed a friend
like U...
FRIENDS in HEart R D worst TENANTS. They CAPTURE the HEart, pay no Rent,
Dont VATATE & If at all they LEAVE, Thay just BREAK down the Room they
LIVED.
10 messages received, 1, HI, 2, Hello, 3, I miss U, 4 How r U?, 5, hope
ur fine, 6, keep smilling, 7, Take Care, 8, God bless U, 9, Be happy, 10,
Gud night.!