My Roommate Is Driving Me Crazy! Book Description
There’s nothing like waking up in the middle of the night to the sounds of your college roommate having sex in the bunk above you. What about the roommate who secretly borrows your things? Then there’s the neat freak who alphabetizes canned goods and the person who won’t talk, but sends you instant messages from his computer four feet away. These can be the roommates from hell! When you filled out your roommate questionnaire, you probably didn’t bargain for this. Maybe you played it safe and roomed with your best friend. Now the two of you barely speak. What happens when your quad mates turn on you? What do you say when your roommate tells you she is gay? How do you handle gossip? Stealing? Oh, and let’s not forget the most important part – you hate conflict! My Roommate is Driving Me Crazy! is packed with real stories from real students with REAL solutions.
Over 250 conversation starters to help you deal with:
Personality clashes A sloppy, irresponsible roommate Differences of culture, religion, or sexual orientation A roommate who has a serious problem, such as cutting, alcoholism, anorexia, or depression. A roommate who refuses to communicate or cooperate
What makes this book unique?
First college survival guide to deal specifically with roommate issues Panel of college readers collaborated with author Real roommate situations provided by college students (you can’t make this stuff up!) Over 250 conversation starters to help even the most tongue-tied student say the right thing at the right time Frankly discusses mental health issues like cutting, substance abuse, eating disorders, depression, and suicide Written by a licensed counselor and communications expert
Book Information
Title: My Roommate Is Driving Me Crazy! Solve Conflicts, Set Boundaries, And Survive The College Roommate From Hell Author: Susan Fee (330) 908-3840 (EST) Publisher: Adams Media Corporation. Avon, MA: (508) 427-7100 Release date: July 1, 2005 ISBN: 1593372698 Paperback: 192 pages Price: $9.95 Web site: www.myroommateisdrivingmecrazy.com
Author Biography
Susan Fee is a licensed counselor, corporate communications trainer, and freelance writer. She specializes in teaching clients how to sell themselves and their message. In addition to My Roommate Is Driving Me Crazy! she has also written two communication tips booklets, Positive First Impressions: 83 Ways to Establish Confidence, Competence, and Trust and Dealing With Difficult People: 83 Ways to Stay Calm, Composed, and In Control. Ms. Fee serves as adjunct faculty for University of Phoenix (Independence, OH) and Lakeland Community College (Kirtland, OH) where she teaches interpersonal communication skills, public speaking, and psychology. She was a counselor at Baldwin-Wallace College in Berea, OH for two years which inspired her roommate book. Ms. Fee is married to Cleveland radio morning show host and program director, Allan Fee. Despite her husband recently being named, “Biggest Mouth in Cleveland Radio,” she claims they have few disputes. The couple has a six-year old daughter, Gabrielle who insists she’s never going to have a problem with college roommates since she plans to live at home “forever.” They live in Sagamore Hills, OH. Ms. Fee is originally from Seattle, WA and received her BA in Communications from Western Washington University. She worked as a radio journalist before moving into corporate training. She received her M.Ed from Cleveland State University. She survived college without any major roommate issues – at least that’s her side of the story.
Author FAQ
Can you give some examples from your book of, “Roommates from Hell”? If you don’t like your roommate, can’t you just move? Why should students expect to have conflicts with their roommate? Should students play it safe and room with a best friend? You say that the more students rely on email, IM, and text messaging, the worse they tend to be at conflict resolution, how come? How is mental illness playing a role in today’s college living situations? What should students do if they think their roommate has a serious mental illness problem? Your book offers over 250 conversation starters for difficult situations – why so many? In general, what’s important for students to remember when trying to solve a roommate issue? What inspired this book? Where can people find out more about your book and your free college survival tips? www.myroommateisdrivingmecrazy.com.
IMMEDIATE RELEASE Contact: Susan Fee, Author Phone: (330) 908-3840 Email: Susan_Fee@msn.com Web site: www.myroommateisdrivingmecrazy.com
Word Count: 509
“Five Tips to Help College Students Survive Roommate Personality Clashes” Sagamore Hills, OH It’s amazing how different two people sharing the same (tiny) dorm room can be. Even the littlest things can drive you crazy after awhile! You eat Big Macs and chicken wings while your roommate swears by tofu and beans; you like Coldplay and your roommate cranks up Tim McGraw. You’re East Coast; your roommate is West Coast. Whatever your differences (and there are bound to be a few), you need to figure out what you’re willing to live with and what’s fair to ask your roommate to change. Your roommate may have an accent that grates on your nerves, but that’s not something you can ask a person to change. It’s also not fair to expect someone to change his or her entire personality to suit you. So, you need to separate personality traits from irritating habits. For example, leaving dirty dishes in the sink for over a week is a behavior that’s fair to address. You won’t transform your roommate into your new best friend, but you can make things a lot more bearable. Here are five survival tips from My Roommate Is Driving Me Crazy! Solve Conflicts, Set Boundaries, And Survive the College Roommate From Hell (Adams Media). 1. Talk. If something’s bugging you, bring it up in a non-defensive way rather than assume your roommate can read your mind. Nothing can change unless you acknowledge it. It’s possible that your roommate may not even be aware of the problem.
2. Focus on behavior, not personality. It’s not reasonable to ask people to change who they are, but you can ask them to tone down how they express themselves, especially when it’s invading your turf. So, you can’t criticize someone for being “perky,” but you can ask for someone not to talk so much while you’re studying. 3. Stay flexible. It’s not your job to fix anybody else, and it helps to recognize that no one is perfect. Be willing to look at your own behavior. Consider what you could do differently to help the situation instead of only blaming your roommate. 4. Start with one pet peeve. What can you absolutely not deal with? What do you find extremely irritating, but could live with if you had to? There are probably tons of things your roommate does that get on your nerves. But nothing kills a relationship faster than listing dozens of reasons why you don’t like a person. Instead, both of you need to list your number one pet peeve and focus your energy on solving that first. 5. Consider the positives. Before you decide that life would be better with a roommate exactly like you, think of what you could gain by living with your opposite. We’re often attracted to people who are different from us because they represent qualities we wish we possessed. If you’re shy, maybe being around a more outgoing person will force you out of your shell. When one person’s strength makes up for the other’s weakness, being opposites is an advantage. Find more free college survival tips at www.myroommateisdrivingmecrazy.com.
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE Contact: Susan Fee, Author Phone: (330) 908-3840 E-mail: Susan_Fee@msn.com Web site: www.myroommateisdrivingmecrazy.com “Hidden College Cost: Roommate Conflict” Sagamore Hills, OH
Word Count: 755
Parents, if you’re already reeling from the costs of today’s college education, take a deep breath. According to one expert, if your kids lack conflict resolution skills, it could end up costing you even more. “Students who can’t handle conflict run into trouble with roommates almost immediately,” said Susan Fee who is the author of My Roommate is Driving Me Crazy! Solve Conflicts, Set Boundaries, and Survive the College Roommate From Hell (Adams Media, 2005). “They avoid the issue rather than deal with it, causing increased stress, lower grades, and additional moving and housing expenses,” said Fee, who is a licensed professional counselor. She said students who focus only on academic success do so at the expense of other life skills. “Some students have spent so much time studying and fitting in extracurricular activities that they never develop necessary social skills. Well-intentioned parents have become overly-involved in their kids’ lives, planning their time, and solving their dilemmas. By the time these kids enter college, they have no confidence in speaking up for themselves,” said Fee. Another factor leading to trouble adjusting is a sense of entitlement. “It’s not uncommon for students to come from homes where they had their own bedroom,
bathroom, and TV,” said Fee. “They have unreasonable expectations about having things their way.” The bottom line for parents: Children’s poor communication skills can hurt your wallet. Kids who can’t get along with their roommates request single dorm rooms, which are not only more costly, but usually unavailable. Others move off-campus, transfer to another school, or return home. Grades can be affected by the stress causing some students to repeat entire semesters. “The ultimate solution is for students to learn how to resolve their roommate differences rather than find ways to avoid them,” said Fee. She offers these five tips to parents: 1. Offer suggestions, not solutions. Telling your child what to do, or worse, handling the problem yourself, does more harm than good. Conflict resolution is a skill that needs to be practiced and the more you do for your kids, the longer it will take them to become confident. Instead, help them become critical thinkers by imagining scenarios, brainstorming solutions, and considering possible outcomes and consequences. 2. Prepare for conflict. Students who assume things will be “perfect” get thrown for a loop when they’re not. Conflict is inevitable because people are different. Even best friends should expect to have differences in needs, living habits, stress levels, and communication skills. Teach your child that conflict does not have to be negative; it’s an opportunity to be creative and learn how to problem solve. 3. Share expectations. Roommate contracts are popular today and many universities require them as a way to get kids talking about their expectations. Even if your child’s school does not have formal contracts, encourage him to
discuss things like sleep and study habits, bills, sharing items, cleaning, and the best times to have visitors. Just like pre-marital counseling, the more that’s discussed upfront, the better the relationship. 4. Encourage face-to-face conversations. More and more, kids today would rather communicate through e-mail, IM, and text messaging rather than talking face-toface. Without the benefit of facial expressions, tone of voice, and body language, messages can be misunderstood. Also, warn kids that gossiping to others instead of talking to their roommate directly only escalates the problem. 5. Ask for help. Residence life staff will help to mediate, as long as the student has already tried problem solving face-to-face. (In reality, most students wait to mention there’s a problem until they want to move out, or at the first sign of trouble, they report it to their RA expecting that person to solve it.) Campus counseling centers are also available for help if a roommate is exhibiting signs of mental illness such as depression, substance abuse, or cutting. If nothing else, a counseling session can help your child learn to better deal with stress and find other ways to manage the situation. Fee’s book inspiration came while working as a counselor at Baldwin-Wallace College in Berea, OH. “I had so many students coming in to see me about problems with their roommates, yet most of them never bothered to tell their roommates,” she said. After interviewing college students and staff nationwide, it was clear to her that this was a pervasive issue. Fee’s book covers every possible roommate scenario and provides over 250 conversation starters for difficult situations. She also developed a Web site full of college survival tips, www.myroommateisdrivingmecrazy.com.