USSVI — Blueback Base Newsletter Blueback Base, P.O. Box 1887 Portland Oregon September 2007 #163 Clackamas, OR 97015 The Creed of the USSVI is Not to Forget our Purpose…… “ To perpetuate the memory of our shipmates who gave their lives in the pursuit of duties while serving their country. That their dedication, deeds, and supreme sacrifice be a constant source of motivation toward greater accomplishments, Pledge loyalty and patriotism to the United States Government.” Forward Battery BASE MEETINGS... Base Commander J.D. Corbett 503 304-1700 Executive Board Will meet Vice Commander Duane Sanger 503 253-8752 September 11, 2007 Secretary OMSI Raymond L. Lough 360 573-4274 Treasurer Blueback Base Meeting Scott Duncan 503-667-0728 Will meet at the Chaplain VFW Post #4248 Scott Duncan 503-667-0728 Chief of the Boat 7118 S.E.Fern—Portland Bob Walters 503-284-8693 Thursday 13 September 2007 Ways and Means Chairman Mike LaPan 503-665-7797 Membership Chairman Ray Lough 360-573-4274 Publicity and Social Chairman LeRoy Vick 503-367-6087 Bylaws Chairman Change of Address?... Chris Stafford 503-632-4535 In order to maintain the proper addresses, both for the base Roster and the delivery of the Newsletter, Small Stores Boss Change of Address information should be sent to Bill Bryan either the base mailing address located on the top of this newsletter or to: Trustee Robert Walters Fred Carneau 503-654-0451 4105 NE Alberta Ct. Editor Portland, OR 97211 Ray Lough 360-573-4274 (503) 284-8693 or on the Internet at: firstname.lastname@example.org caiman.ss323@Comcast.net Past Base Commander And if YOU have an E-mail address send it to Chris Stafford 503 632-4535 Robert Walters (email@example.com) so you can be on the E-mail list for announcements Historian, Editor of Jokes in Poor Taste, Editor on and Urgent Updates. Demand, POC, and all around good guy.. Send any articles for the Sanitary to Ray Lough Bob Walters 503-284-8693 firstname.lastname@example.org or mail to: 3313 NE160 St,Ridgefield WA 98642 September, 2007 Page 2 Blueback Base Meeting USSVI August 11, 2007 Meeting held at Champoeg State Park before Base DUES Picnic. ANNUAL NATIONAL BASE 12:30 Meeting called to order Tolling of Lost Boats 1 YR $20.00 $15.00 Invocation 3 YR pre-pay $55.00 $15.00 / Yr Introductions Secretary report 5 YR pre-pay $90.00 $15.00 / Yr Treasurer report LIFE NATIONAL BASE Base Commander J.D.Corbett: October 12,13,14 is the scheduled Crab Fest @ < Age 45 $500.00 $300.00 Nehalem Bay State Park. Ages 46-55 yrs $400.00 $250.00 November 11 is Veteran’s Day Parade in Ages 56-65 yrs $300.00 $200.00 Hollywood district in Portland. December 13 is the Base Christmas Dinner @ Ages 66-75 yrs $200.00 $150.00 the VFW Hall. Cost of the dinners this year will Ages 76 + $100.00 $50.00 be $27.00. Contact Bob Walters. Base Elections are November. Offices up for election are : Secretary and Treasurer. 2nd reading of the proposed Bylaws/Policy BLUEBACK DECKING changes. We have a six inch piece of the original deck for $10, New Business: with a $5 postage fee. The deck will be mailed USPS Priority Mail with Bill Bryan has patches for the 2007 USSVI tracking. A label is Cruise. They can’t be had onboard ship. attached to the bottom that authenticates the 'source'.... Chris Stafford: Canadiens are having their Send coins to: 2008 Convention May 2,3,4 of 2008 in Bob Walters Victoria, B.C. USSVI Blueback Base Pat Householder gave a talk on fund raising 4105 N.E. Alberta Court using the USSVI calendars. He is the Nat’l Portland, OR 97211 Junior Vice Commander of USSVI. Lost Boats Base Commander J.D.Corbett presented USS Grayling (SS-209) in 1943 Clarence Scott’s granddaughter with a USS Cisco (SS-290) in 1943 Scholarship check for $1250. USS S-51 (162) in 1925 Meeting adjourned. USS S-5 (SS-110) in 1920 Picnic began asap! Muster List: Duncan, Lough, Solheim, Stubbs, Bywater Birthdays Carneau,Kelly, Walters, Thrall, Vrooman, Herman, Bryan, Zenk, Dolan, Cummins, Sanger, Schumuck, Lee, Chuck Macaluso Fred Marsden Householder, Stafford, Collins, Corbett. Duane Sanger Ronald Bell Respectfully submitted Thomas Mich Pat McWaters Ray Lough Alan Nolan Blueback Base Secretary Thomas Glascoe Philip Rau Bob Lee Frank Rusch September,2007 Page 3 Binnacle List U.S.Navy Chief Petty Officer saves the life of Junior No one reported in! Officer during horse-back riding mishap Remember our troops in your prayers! A young lieutenant decides to try horseback riding, even though he has had no lessons or prior experience. He mounts the horse, unassisted and the horse immedi- ately springs into action. As it gallops along at a steady Gifts to Soldiers and rhythmic pace, the L.T. begins to slip from the sad- Sheila Bryan (Bill Bryan) has become involved in a dle. In terror, he grabs for the horse’s mane, but cannot national program that sends gift packages to our troops get a firm grip. He tries to throw his arms around the overseas. She has been certified to mail directly to a horse’s neck, but he slides down the side of the horse requesting service person. She is willing to accept dona- anyway! tions from anyone who would like to participate in the The horse gallops along, seemingly impervious to it’s program. Please remember that the items must fit into slipping rider. Finally, losing his frail grip, the L.T. at- the U.S.Post Office’s mailing boxes. tempts to leap away from the horse and throw himself to Some recommended items for mailing are: Books, safety. Unfortunately, his foot becomes entangled in the Magazines, Puzzle books, cards, hard candy, station- stirrup, and he is now at the mercy of the horse’s pound- ary, tea bags, beef jerky, gum, wet wipes, bug wipes, ing hooves as his head is struck against the ground over personal hygiene items, DVDs, computer games. and over and over. Sheilah can be contacted at email@example.com As his head is battered against the ground and he is mere moments away from unconsciousness, to his grat Elections for the offices of Secretary and Treasurer fortune, a Chief shopping at Wal-Mart, sees him and Nominees are needed unplugs the horse. The duties of the Secretary shall include, but not be Diesels Just Blowing Smoke? limited to: By Joe Buff 1. The taking and keeping of the minutes of all Base meetings and Executive Board meetings. Should the Navy shift back to diesel-powered subma- rines as it reshapes its forces to meet the challenges of 2. Answer and keep a record of all Base correspon- conducting military operations in coastal areas? dence. The debate is roiling the waters in the submarine com- 3. Publication and distribution of all Base newsletter. munity. The question is whether the Navy should rely on 4. He shall keep the membership rolls in a manner large, nuclear fast-attack and guided-missile subma- prescribed by the Commander. rines for conducting undersea operations in littoral wa- 5. He shall draft “Calls of Meetings”. ters or begin acquiring smaller, diesel-powered subs to do the job. Peoponents od diesel subs argue they would 6. He shall assist and advise as the Commander be able to penetrate closer to shore than nuclear boats sees fit. and would be more maneuverable, quieter, less vulner- The duties of the Treasurer shall include, but not be able— and far cheaper to boot. limited to: As such, they contend, the ideal structure for the U.S. 1. Accept and keep record of all monies. submarine force in this age of littoral operations would 2. Disburse such monies as may be necessary. bea so-called “high-low mix” that combines high- capability nuclear attack subs and guided-missile 3. Keep complete and accurate financial reports. subs—SSNs and SSGNs— for blue-water conflict with a 4. He shall exhibit at all reasonable times his books supplemental fleet of diesels for coastal operations. The and accounts to any member of the Executive diesel subs would be forward-based, to help overcome Board upon application. their limitations of range and mobility. And they would be equipped with state-of-the-art, air-independent pro- 5. Assure the Tax Exempt status of the organization. pulsion systems (AIPs), which would carry oxygen in 6. The Treasurer shall assure that all monies dis- some form as an additional fuel, enabling the diesel bursed have the approval of the Commander and boats to remain submerged without snorkeling for that all monies disbursed over fifty dollars ($50.00) weeks at a time. (Diesel AIPs are known as SSIs, differ- have the approval of the Executive Board. entiating them from purely diesel-electric powered 7. Serves on the Executive Board. hunter-killer subs, the SSKs.) So far, the discussion in Navy professional journals has been dominated by pro- ponents of diesel subs. But many of the arguments put Gary Webb is a nominee for Treasurer. Let’s have forward in favor of diesel boats for the U.S.Navy’s par- some of you step up and help out the club by volunteer- ticular needs either are myths or have been significantly ing to help run and make decisions concerning the Blue- exaggerated. There is a persuasive case that nuclear- back Base powered sub fleets can do the job better than diesels, at less overall cost. It is more wise to focus attention, not on acquiring new American diesel boats but on develop- ing the Chief of Naval Operations’ concept of “the 1,000 September, 2007 Page 4 ship Navy” as a global maritime security force that in- Sidewinders and anti-torpedo torpedoes) will enable it to cludes SSKs and SSIs of other cooperating countries. defend itself if necessary, withdraw to deep water and Closer Encounters later repenetrate the littoral area at a more opportune Proponents od acquiring diesel subs argue that be- time. While an SSI must use its fuels carefully and re- cause an SSI is smaller and requires less sea clearance charge its batteries frequently, a nuclear boat can re- than a nuclear boat, it can penetrate far closer to shore charge its minivehicles (its UUVs and AUVs) indefinitely. without risk of bumping its nose, dragging its tail, or Indeed, equipping a nuclear submarine with off-board breaking the surface unintentionally. In reality, however, probes inherently solves the problem of covert com- the differences aren’t that great. The typical SSGN is mand and control among several SSIs: there is a single only about 25 feet higher than a diesel-propelled SSI, control room where all human tactical decisions are and for the Virginia-class SSN the disparity is only some made, face-to-face. Submariners say modeling simula- 15 feet. Moreover, the question of how much clearance tions have shown that one nuclear sub with two or three is acceptable for a particular class of sub depends more autonomous probes can patrol a length of seacoast sev- on a vessel’s ship-handling and stability than on the size eral hundred miles long. of the boat itself. Submariners say the key to operating ( Tune in next month for a continuation of this articl by safely in littoral areas with a large sub is simply to move Joe Buff, Submarine Fiction writer) slowly. What is more, the ability of nuclear boats to operate HARD TO BELIEVE!! closer to shore can be improved by equipping them with I was truly amazed at what I witnessed at a recent din- minisized unmanned undersea vehicles or autonomous ner party which included our own walkinf TDU, Bob Wal- undersea vehicles (UUVs or AUVs ). They can be used ters. as remote robot sensor probes, enabling crew members to scout ahead and combine their survey of on-the-spot What was so AMAZING was a plate of food being car- conditions with satellite data on local sea characteris- ried off by one of the waiters from Bob’s station. He tics. couldn’t clean his plate. But of course he could reach over and snitch some of his LOVELY wife’s dessert! Contentions that nuclear-powered subs are less ma- neuverable than diesels are similarly flawed. Virginia- TCH-TCH-TCH, and such a good Catholic boy? class are equipped with a new computer-controlled autopilot and hovering system that enables them to A farmer named Clyde had a car accident. In court, maintain a specific depth to within one-tenth of a foot the trucking company's fancy lawyer was questioning and to remain perfectly level in any but the roughest Clyde. seas. Thus, they can penetrate close to shore wherever "Didn't you say, at the scene of the accident, "I'm fine," the contours of the sea floor permit. Ohio-class asked the lawyer. SSGNs— onetime SSBNs that have been converted Clyde responded, "Well, I'll tell you what happened. I into SSGNs— also are very stable. In their former incar- had just loaded my favorite mule, Bessie, into the..." nations, they had to be able to fire sub-launched ballistic "I didn't ask for any details", the lawyer interrupted." missiles (SLBMs) over thousands of miles with pinpoint "Just answer the question. Did you not say, at the accuracy and recover quickly from each jolt to be ready scene of the accident, 'I'm fine!'? for another possible launch. As the Ohio-class subs are Clyde said, "Well, I had just got Bessie into the trailer overhauled, they receive hovering and trim systems en- and I was driving down the road...." hancements. The lawyer interrupted again and said, "Judge, I am try- Turning radius is another false issue. While its true ing to establish the fact that, at the scene of the acci- that an SSI typically is only half as long as an SSN or dent, this man told the Highway Patrolman on the scene SSGN, ship length is not a major factor in maneuvering that he was just fine. Now several weeks after the acci- horizontally. And if a nuclear sub needs to wriggle into dent he is trying to sue my client. I believe he is a very narrow corners, it can deploy its manned and un- fraud! Please tell him to simply answer the question." manned minivehicles, which are far smaller than any By this time, the Judge was fairly interested in Clyde's SSI. answer and said to the lawyer, "I'd like to hear what he It is also a misconception that submerged, non- has to say about his favorite mule, Bessie" snorkeling SSIs can run at their top speeds for long peri- Clyde thanked the Judge and proceeded, "Well as I was ods. When a diesel submarine accelerates to sprint saying, I had just loaded Bessie, my favorite mule, into speed, it draws power from its regular batteries. Once the trailer and was driving her down the highway when the batteries go flat, the AIP equipment of an SSI’s pro- this huge semi-truck and trailer ran the stop sign and pulsion system permits cruising at only a few knots. If smacked my truck right in the side. the captain wants to use the AIP system to recharge his I was thrown into one ditch and Bessie was thrown into batteries, his speed is even more restricted for quite the other. some time. The reality is that it limits the range of the I was hurting, real bad and didn't want to move. How- SSI, making it easier for an enemy nuclear sub to pur- ever, I could hear ole Bessie moaning and groaning. I sue and destroy the diesel. If the pursuing nuclear boat knew she was in terrible shape just by her groans. gets into trouble, its superior mobility and its wider array of available countermeasures ( burgeoning arsenal of Shortly after the accident a Highway Patrolman came on “stand-and-fight” weapons such as sub-launched anti-air the scene. He could hear Bessie moaning and groaning September,2007 Page 5 so he went over to her. early months of World War II. Her last official radio message After he looked at her, he took out his gun and shot her to the submarine base at Dutch Harbor came on July 30, between the eyes. 1942 and described heavy enemy activity at the Japanese Then the Patrolman came across the road, gun in hand, seaplane base at Kiska Harbor. Earlier that month, the Grunion had sunk two Japanese sub- looked at me, and said "How are you feeling?" marine chasers and heavily damaged a third near Kiska, one "Now what the hell would you say?” of two islands in the far west Aleutians captured by the Japa- nese. Until a few years ago, the clues to the Grunion's disap- pearance were too fragmented to justify a search. After receiving more information from a model ship builder in Japan, the Abeles launched an initial expedition to Kiska in August 2006. Sonar images of a sub-shaped silhouette prompted a second journey this month. As news of the search spread, several relatives of the Grun- ion's crew banded together to locate others with ties to the lost men. To date, the relatives of 69 men are following the progress of the search, said Mary Bentz of Bethesda, Md., whose uncle died on the Grunion. Bentz said the news is a relief after decades of not knowing what happened. Her father's youngest brother, Carmine An- thony Parziale, of Weedville, Penn., was in his early 20s when he served as a torpedoman third class on Grunion. "I know when my dad would talk about him, his eyes would well up with tears," said Bentz. "I was relieved to know that this is finally over, that now we can say, two and three gen- erations later, that we know what happened." A forensic engineer and other experts will use the footage to The mangled remains of a vessel found in the Bering Sea piece together the Grunion's final hours and figure out why it are likely those of a World War II submarine that disap- sank. The search crew of 17 plans to spend several more peared with a crew of 70 off the Aleutian Island of Kiska. days looking for sunken Japanese ships in the area. "Actually seeing the burial site was touching and in a way The discovery of the USS Grunion on Wednesday night rewarding," John Abele said. "It provides a closing and culminates a five-year search led by the sons of its com- hopefully an answer to the unknown." mander, Mannert Abele, and may finally shine a light on the mysterious last moments of the doomed vessel. "Obviously, this is a very big thing," the oldest son, Bruce Abele, said Thursday from his home in Newton, Mass. "I told my wife about it when she was still in bed and she practically went up to the ceiling." A remotely operated vehicle snapped pictures and captured three hours of video footage of the Grunion on a rocky un- derwater slope north of the volcanic island, according to another brother, John Abele, who was in Kiska Harbor with the search team on Thursday. OOPS! The submarine lies 1,000 feet below the surface and had been crushed by water pressure, said Abele. He is director Last month I identified this member as Gerry Keffer. and co-founder of the medical equipment company Boston Actually it is Dave Vrooman who joined in January of Scientific Corp. and the youngest of the three brothers. this year. "The most surprising thing was the damage," he said. "It was Am I bad!! much more than we or anyone else imagined. Initially it was very hard to recognize as a ship." The hull had imploded so severely that the interior, including bunks and a dive wheel, were clearly visible, Abele said. No human remains were found. The search team hired by the Abeles, Deep Sea Systems International, said no identifying markings or lettering could be seen, however, the location and appearance of the ves- sel indicate it is the missing sub. "There's a 95 percent chance that this is the Grunion and a less than five percent chance that it's not," said Christopher J. Nicholson, general manager of the Cataumet, Mass.- based company. "The fact that they actually found this in an expanse of ocean is really pretty spectacular." The Grunion had a propeller guard, which was rare in subs of the day, Abele said. The vessel discovered yesterday also had the fence, which prevented docking lines from getting caught in the propeller. The Grunion patrolled Alaska's Aleutian Islands during the September,2007 Page 6 Exasperated, the 60-year-old said, "You pee every morning at 6:00 and crap every morning at 6:30. So what's so bad about being 80?" "I don't wake up until 7:00 A senior citizens' group charters a bus from Washing- ton, IA, to Branson, MO. As they entered Missouri, an elderly woman comes up to the driver and says, "I've just been molested!" The driver felt that she had fallen asleep and had a dream. So he tells her to go back to her seat, and sit down. A short time later, another old woman comes forward, and claims that she was just molested. The driver thought he had a bus load of old wackos, but who would be molesting those old ladies? True Love About 10 minutes later, a third old lady comes up and says that she'd been molested too. The bus driver decides that he'd had enough, and pulls into the first rest area. When he turns the lights on and stands up, he sees an old man on his hands and knees crawling in the aisles. "Hey Marty, what are you doing down there?" says the bus driver. "I lost my toupee. I thought I found it three times, but every time I try to grab it..., it runs away...!!" Two clergymen are on an airplane, a Catholic priest and a Mormon bishop. After a while, the priest turns to the bishop and asks, "Is it still a requirement of your faith that you are not to drink coffee?" The Mormon bishop responds, "Yes that is still one of our beliefs." The Catholic priest then asks, "Have you ever had a cup of coffee?" Pat Householder "Yes," says the Mormon bishop, "I have to admit on one occasion, I did succumb to temptation and tried a cup of Pat was at the Champoeg picnic and spoke on Nat’l coffee." affairs and fund raising ideas. The Catholic priest nods in understanding and goes on with his reading. "Sixty is the worst age to be," said the 60-year- A while later, the Mormon bishop speaks up and asks, old man. "You always feel like you have to pee "Father, is it still a requirement of your church that you and most of the time you stand there and noth- remain celibate?" The Catholic priest replies, "Yes, that ing comes out." is still one of our vows." "Ah, that's nothin," said the 70-year-old. "When The Mormon bishop then asks, "Father, have you ever you're seventy, you don't have a bowel move- fallen to the temptations of the flesh?" ment any more. You take laxatives, eat bran, sit The Catholic priest replied, "Yes, Bishop, on one occa- on the toilet all day and nothin' comes out!" sion, I was weak and broke my vow." "Actually," said the 80-year -old, "Eighty is the The Mormon bishop nodded understandingly for a mo- worst age of all." ment. A few minutes later he smiled, looked at the "Do you have trouble peeing, too?" asked the Catholic priest and then said, "A lot better than coffee, isn't it?" 60-year old. "No, I pee every morning at 6:00. I pee like a racehorse on a flat rock; no problem at all." "So, do you have a problem with your bowel movement?" "No, I have one every morning at 6:30." September,2007 Page 7 A Silent Warrior’s Final Day Francisco in the late 1980s and early 1990. On a dark and gloomy rain-filled day, a shroud of se- In 1994, the Parche and its crew of 190 moved from crecy permeated the air on the Bremerton waterfront, it Mare Island to Bangor. It had already earned six Presi- was the perfect setting for the final day in the top- dential Unit Citations by that time and earned another secrete career of the Bangor-based USS Parche, onr of three after its transfer to Bangor, including a ninth for its the world’s most prolific spy submarines. final deployment that ended in late September. The Parche’s final resume also included 13 Navy Expe- By the time its life ended Tuesday(October 20,2004) in a decommissioning ceremony at the Bremerton naval ditionary Medals and 10 Navy Unit Commendations– all base, the Parche was the most highly decorated ship in unprecedented numbers. Naval history– even though most Americans have never “Parche has had a career unmatched in the annals of heard of it. submarine history,” said Rear Adm. Paul Sullivan, com- mander of the Pacific Fleet submarine force. Commissioned in 1974, the Parche spent 30 years “Parche has gathered enough citations that are just truly and 19 deployments as America’s top espionage sub, remarkable...based on her superb performance in criti- reportedly tapping the undersea military communication lines of the Soviet Union during the Cold War, plucking cal national tasking.She now ranks among the most leg- lost Soviet weaponry from the ocean floor and gathering endary vessels to ever have sailed under our flag.” intelligence on other enemies afterward. Sullivan compared the Parche’s storied past to other Navy vessels, such as USS Constitution, USS Monitor, The Parche (pronounced PAR-chee) was officially USS Missouri and USS Nautilus. “And now there is designated by the Navy as a “research and develop- Parche,” he said. ment” submarine. And it did plenty of that, resting new The ship figured prominently in “Blind Man’s Bluff: The sonar and undersea warfare technologies. Untold Story of American Submarine Espionage,” a non- But its highly classified missions, none of which have fiction book published in the 1990s, which described ever been officially confirmed, are the most intriguing how it spent its Cold War days spying on the Soviet Un- aspect of its history. Many of those missions were ion. deemed to be of “vital importance to U.S. national secu- It’s also been reported the sub, with a claw-like device, rity”, earning the submarine an unprecedented nine was able to pick up lost Soviet missiles or bombs from Presidential Unit Citations. The vast majority of ships the sea floor. Later, it reportedly deployed unmanned never receive even one. drones to complete many of the espionage tactics. For being the most decorated ship ever, shouldn’t Following the Cold War, the Parche continued its highly more people be made aware of what it accomplished? classified missions, with many observers citing an even “Those that need to know, know,”said a matter-of-fact higher sense od secrecy. It’s said the Parche spent Rear Adm. Ben Wachendorf, who commanded the plenty of time in the Persian Gulf, gleaning intelligence Parche from 1988 to 1993. on Iraq and Iran, and traveled through the Western Pa- Wachendorf, now U.S.defense attaché in Moscow, cific keeping tabs on China and North Korea. traveled from Russia to be at the ceremonies. “I would- Capt. Richard Charles, the Parche’s first commander, n’t have missed it for anything,” he said. “It means a lot traveled from Mobil, Aa., for the ceremony. He took to be able to say goodbye to an old friend.” command while the sub was being built and went on its In fact, all but one of the Parche’s nine former com- first deployment, a five-month journey in the Mediterra- manders were present at the Parche’s decommission- nean Sea. After that, the sub transferred to the West ing. In addition, about 130 former crew members, most Coast and began its spy missions a few years later. belonging to the USS Parche Association, were on hand “Those guys in the Pacific had all the fun,” Charles to witness the sub’s inactivation. joked. “I just built it. It’s always sad to see a ship retire, but after a while, they are like you and me; they wear Those who returned to see their sub one last time said it was not only the comraderie od submarine life that out.” made Parche special, but also the exotic and extremely Ironically, the name of the Parche’s last at-sea com- challenging missions it completed, which often involved mander, Capt. Charles Richard, was a mirror image of excruciating long periods spent submerged with dwin- the sub’s first. Richard was relieved in a change-of- dling food and supplies. command ceremony after leading the Parche on two post-September 11th deployments, including one that “It’s the end of the life cycle,” said Manchester resident lasted 122 days in 2002. Will Longman, chairman of the Parche Association. “It’s very meaningful. The conraderie does not go away. And “Being commander of this ship was an extraordinary the uniqueness of Parche imparts its own special com- experience and I was fortunate to be given the experi- raderie.” ence,” he said. “I hope that each man who has served aboard this ship will look back and swell with pride The Parche also was the last of the Navy’s 37 Stur- knowing that he answered his country’s call.” geon-class fast attack subs to be deactivated– though it Following the ceremony, the Parche, probably one of barely resembled any of the other ships of that class. the least known subs to the general public because of That’s because its hull was extended by 100 feet to its highly classified missions, silently shifted over to accommodate extensive classified modifications in a Puget Sound Naval Shipyard. There, it will be torn apart four-year stay at Mare Island Naval Shipyard near San and recycled over the next few years. September,2007 Page 8 A three-year-old boy was examining his testicles while changes and reversing. To overcome this problem im- taking a bath. peller blade adjustable pitch is possible, but this re- "Mom", he asked, "are these my brains?" quires intricate engineering much like an adjustable air- "Not yet," she replied. craft propeller pitch. A 2006 study found that the average American walks The circular duct's interior shape can be designed to about 900 miles a year. allow a straight flow or can be contoured to accelerate Another study found that Americans drink and average flow before striking the impellers. Once again, a similar- of 22 gallons of beer a year. ity can be drawn between a jet engine and a ducted im- That means, on average, Americans get about 41 peller. It is also similar to the upper contour of an aircraft miles per gallon. wing. Not Bad! It is important that water entering the duct and interfac- The Seawolf (SSGN-21) and the subsequent Virginia ing with impeller blades be as uniform as possible. Like- class submarines are propelled by something other than wise, the accelerated exit flow must be as free from out- a screw. In a previous SRC bulletin the propulsor was ward thrust spiraling as possible. A stator made of multi- discussed in a general sense. The propulsor which ple static blades is placed at the forward end of the duct. drives the latest of American submarines is super-secret The blades are mounted to introduce a spiral current in and therefore not open to specific description. Despite the opposite direction of the impeller blade thrust. This this restriction, SRC continues to receive many ques- serves to straighten the exit flow. If insufficient, a sec- tions regarding how a propulsor is different from a tradi- ond stator may be located to the rear of the impeller. To tional propeller or screw. This bulletin attempts to an- further complicate the design, stator blade pitch may be swer some of these questions using the most current adjustable according to the rotating speed of the impel- information available. ler. Stator assembly assumes a rigid duct as opposed to the spinning type. A submarine screw provides thrust by accelerating a rearward water flow at the stern of the hull. Because it is The final consideration is the option of vectored thrust. a rotational thrust the exit flow is both outward and to Small submarines use trainable thrusters to give them the rear. That portion of the thrust that is other than finite control of close-quartered movement. It is possible rearward is wasted. The problem confronting the de- to eliminate the rudder and stern planes by introducing a signer of submarine propellers is one of maximizing that universal in the drive shaft with directional control rods portion of thrust that drive's the submarine forward while to the propulsor. While the complexity of such a design eliminating, or at least reducing the adverse effects of seems overwhelming, the engineering is well estab- rotational outward flow. Progress has been made in pro- lished in helicopter rotor control. Vectored thrust is a ducing single, large, hollow, multibladed and complex- common reality in most current jet fighter aircraft. curved screws. These are much more efficient than those of the mid-twentieth century. They produce less One significant disadvantage of the ducted propulsor is cavitation and are therefore quieter. Yet, even these its weight. Located at the extreme after end of the sub- have their limits. Exit flow continues to be non-linear and marine its negative moment is large. Hollow, light-weight entrance flow is made turbulent by planes and rudder material is used in the construction of the assembly. vortices. This often sets up a "beat" and presents a Obviously, much technical design information came problem in sound emission and signature identification. from the aerospace industry. Parenthetically, the Type 21 German submarine of the Second World War solved the problem by placing the rudder and stern planes at the rear of the screw, but structural considerations normally outweigh the advan- tage of such an arrangement. A guy walks into a bar and sees a gorgeous babe nurs- The propulsor solves many of the problems inherent in ing a drink. Walking up behind her he says, "Hi there, the traditional screw. It multiplies the number of blades good looking'! How's it going'?" into something akin to a jet engine's impellers, but its Having already downed a few power drinks she turned greatest departure is the inclusion of a circular ring at around, faced him, looked him straight in the eye and the extremity of the blades. In most propulsors this ring said, . . . "Listen! I screw anybody, any time, anywhere, or duct is fixed to the hull with impeller blades spinning your place, my place, in the car, front door, back door, within it. In such case the tolerance between blade outer on the ground, standing up, sitting down, naked, with edge and inner duct liner must be as close as possible clothes on, dirty as shit, clean and sweet, it just doesn't in order to eliminate outward thrust called blade edge matter to me. I've been doing it ever since I got out of vortex. In some ducted propulsors the ring is fixed to the college..... I just flat-ass love it!" blades, spinning with them. This system introduces a Eyes now wide with interest, he responded, "No kidding! flywheel problem which slows response time to speed I'm a lawyer, too! What firm are you with? Windy City Pumpkin Pie Squares A nurse walks into a bank totally exhausted af- USS Chicago (SSN-721) ter a 20-hour shift. 1 (29 oz.) can pumpkin pie mix Preparing to write a check, she pulls a rectal 1 cup sugar thermometer out of her purse and tries to write with 12 oz. can evaporated milk it. 1/2 tsp. cinnamon When she realizes her mistake, she looks at the flab- bergasted teller and without missing a beat says: 3 eggs 1 box yellow cake mix "Well, that's great....that's real great....some ass- 2 sticks butter, melted hole's got my pen." Walnuts Great Advice Wax paper Bill Gates recently gave a speech at a high school Perheat oven to 350 degrees. Combine pumpkin pie about 11 things they did not and will not learn in school. mix, sugar, evaporated milk, cinnamon and eggs. Line He talks about how the feel good, politically correct 13x9– inch pan with wax paper. Pour pumpkin mix into teachings created a generation of kids with no concept pan. Pour yellow cake mix evenly over pumpkin mixture. of reality and how this concept set them up for failure in Spoon on melted butter and bake 50 to 60 minutes. the real world. Cool and then place in refrigerator. When ready to serve Rule 1: Life is not fair. Get used to it! flip onto cookie sheet. Cut into squares. Rule 2: The world won’t care about your self-esteem. Yield: 48 squares The world will expect you to accomplish something BE- FORE you feel good about it. Memorable Submarine Quotes Rule 3: You will NOT make $60,000 a year right out of “Some ships are designed to sink… others require our high school. You won’t be a vice-president with a car assistance.” phone until you earn both. “Do or do not. There is no try.” Rule 4: If you think your teacher is tough, wait until you Yoda (As seen in the 1999 Navy Leadership Plan- get a boss. ning Guide Calender book.) Rule 5: Flipping burgers is not beneath your dignity. Your grandparents had a different word for burger flip- “SHEESH!, their planesmen are worse than ours! I just ping; they called it opportunity. saw their whole f***in’ screw come out of the water!” Rule 6: If you mess up, it’s not your parents’ fault, so CO on Flasher at the scope while doing maneuvers don’t whine about your mistakes, learn from them. with Pintado, both at periscope depth. The entire Rule 7; Before you were born, your parents weren’t as control room broke up. boring as they are now. They got that way from paying “Diving Officer, I believe we are airborne.” your bills, cleaning your clothes, and listening to you talk about how cool you thought you were. So before you OOD, looking out the periscope after a broach. save the rain forest from the parasites of your parents’ “ I have passed by more lighthouses submerged than- generation, try delousing the closet in your own room. you have light poles on shore.” Rule 8: Youe school may have done away with win- Paul Ferris RM2(SS) USS Blackfin & Greenfish ners and losers, but life HAS NOT. In some schools, “Ashes to ashes, dust unto dust, they have abolished failing grades and they’ll give you as many times as you want to get the right answer. This It may not run, but shine it must, doesn’t bear the slightest resemblance to ANYTHING in It may not work, but it will not rust.” real life. An overheard Chief’s reponse to the question, Rule 9: Life is not divided into semesters. You don’t get summers off and very few employers are interested “why do we have to clean all the time?” in helping you FIND YOURSELF! Do that on your own time. Rule 10: Television is NOT real life. In real life, people actually have to leave the coffee shop and go to jobs. Rule 11: Be nice to nerds, chances are you’ll end up working for one. A Bit of History and a Story from Doug Gaught, a boat sailor from the Queen’s Navy Vice-Admiral Horatio Nelson, 1st Viscount Nelson, KB (29 Sep- tember 1758 – 21 October 1805) was a British admiral famous for his participation in the Napoleonic Wars, most notably in the Battle of Trafalgar, a decisive British victory in the war, where he lost his life. Nelson was noted for his considerable ability to inspire and bring out the best in his men, to the point that it gained a name: "The Nelson Touch". His actions during these wars meant that before and after his death he was revered like few military figures have been through- out British history. Doug Gaught sent this article with the words; “this may not interest you but this is how things are here.” And I thought it was only in the US that the liberals have destroyed COMMON SENSE with all the political correctness that is predominate in the US (and in Oregon). Don’t get me started on bicyclists. Otherwise known as anarchy on the streets of Portland. However, I did learn a bit of history and here it is for you. Without the paragraph below stolen from the internet, the following story would be meaningless. It is a common misconception that Nelson's last words were, "Kiss me, Hardy", spoken to the captain of HMS Victory, Thomas Hardy. Nelson did, in fact, say these words to Hardy a short time before his death. Eyewitnesses testified that Hardy kissed the admiral twice: once on the cheek and once on the forehead, as Nelson struggled to remain conscious.  Prior to this Nelson asked his flag-captain not to throw him overboard and to look after 'poor Lady Hamilton'. He then said "kiss me Hardy". After Hardy's first kiss Nelson said, "now I am satisfied". After the second, "who is that?". When he saw it was Hardy he said, "God bless you Hardy." ALL SAILORS SHOULD READ THIS ONE The story is familiar, the characters etched on our memories, but times have changed Nelson: "Order the signal, Hardy." Hardy: "Aye, aye sir." Nelson: "Hold on, that's not what I dictated to Flags. What's the meaning of this?" Hardy: "Sorry sir?" Nelson (reading aloud): "' England expects every person to do his or her duty, regardless of race, gender, sexual orien- tation, religious persuasion or disability.' - What in God's name is all that gobbledegook?" Hardy: "Admiralty policy, I'm afraid, Sir. We're an equal opportunities employer now and we had the devil's own job get- ting ' England ' past the censors, lest it be considered racist." Nelson: "Gadzooks, Hardy. Hand me my pipe and tobacco." Hardy: "Sorry sir. All naval vessels have now been designated smoke-free working environments." Nelson: "In that case, break open the rum ration. Let us splice the main brace to steel the men before battle." Hardy: "The rum ration has been abolished, Admiral. Its part of the Government's policy to combat binge drinking." Nelson: "Good heavens, Hardy. I suppose we'd better get on with it .......... full speed ahead." Hardy: "I think you'll find that there's a 4 knot speed limit in this stretch of water Sir." Nelson: "Damn it man! We are on the eve of the greatest sea battle in history. We must advance with all dispatch. Get me a report from the crow's nest please. Hardy: "That won't be possible, sir." Nelson: "What. Why not?" Hardy: "Health and Safety have closed the crow's nest, Sir. No harnesses have been installed and they said that rope ladders don't meet regulations. They won't let anyone up there until a proper scaffolding has been erected." Nelson: "Then get me the ship's carpenter without delay, Hardy." Hardy: "He's busy knocking up a wheelchair access to the foredeck? Admiral." Nelson: "Wheelchair access? I've never heard anything so absurd." Hardy: "Health and safety again, Sir. We have to provide a barrier-free environment for the differently abled." Nelson: "Differently abled? I've only one arm and one eye and I refuse even to hear mention of the word. I didn't rise to the rank of admiral by playing the disability card." Hardy: "Actually, sir, you did. The Royal Navy is under represented in the areas of visual impairment and limb defi- ciency." Nelson: "Whatever next? Give me full sail.. The salt spray beckons." Hardy: "A couple of problems there too, Sir. Health and safety won't let? the crew up the rigging without hard hats. And they don't want anyone breathing in too much salt - haven't you seen the adverts?" Nelson: "I've never heard such infamy. Break out the cannon and tell the men to stand by to engage the enemy." Hardy: "The men are a bit worried about shooting at anyone, Admiral." Nelson: "What? This is mutiny!" Hardy: "It's not that, Sir. It's just that they're afraid of being charged with murder if they actually kill anyone. There's a couple of legal-aid lawyers on board, watching everyone like hawks." Nelson: "Then how are we to sink the Frenchies and the Spanish?" Hardy: "Actually, Sir, we're not." Nelson: "We're not?" Hardy: "No, sir. The French and the Spanish are our European partners now. According to the Common Fisheries Pol- icy, we shouldn't even be in this stretch of water. We could get hit with a claim for compensation." Nelson: "But you must hate a Frenchman as you hate the devil." Hardy: "I wouldn't let the ship's diversity coordinator hear you saying that Sir. You'll be up on disciplinary report." Nelson: "You must consider every man an enemy, who speaks ill of your King." Hardy: "Not any more, Sir. We must be inclusive in this multi cultural age. Now put on your Kevlar vest; it's the rules. It could save your life Nelson: "Don't tell me - health and safety. Whatever happened to rum, sodomy and the lash?" Hardy: As I explained, Sir, rum is off the menu!? And there's a ban on corporal punishment." Nelson: "What about sodomy?" Hardy: "I believe that is now legal, sir." Nelson: "In that case.............................. kiss me, Hardy." Along the Same Vein ( but on the ‘Colonies side of the Atlantic) The Master Chief noticed a new Seaman one day and barked at him to come into his office. "What is your name?" was the first thing the Master Chief asked the new guy. "John," the new guy replied. The Master Chief scowled, "Look, I don't know what kind of bleeding-heart, liberal pansy stuff they're teaching Sailors in Boot camp today, but I don't call anyone by their first name. It breeds familiarity and that leads to a breakdown in author- ity. I refer to my Sailors by their last name only - Smith, Jones, Baker - that's all. I am to be referred to only as 'Master Chief.' Do I make myself clear?" "Yes, Master Chief!" "Good! Now that we got that straight, what is your last name?" The new guy sighed and said, "Darling. My name is John Darling, Master Chief!" "Okay, John, the next thing I want to tell you is.........."
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