------- BRILLIANT Bumperstickers -------Adults are just kids with money Keep honking, I am reloading! To All You Virgins: Thanks For Nothing Stupidity is not a crime so you’re free to go There are 2 types of pedestrians, the quick and the dead. All men are idiots, and I married their king. Very funny Scotty; now beam down my clothes Want to get laid? Crawl up a chicken's ass and wait! I love to give homemade gifts, which one of my kids do you want 3 kinds of people: Those who can count and those who can't. 7 days with out Jesus makes one weak Age is a high price to pay for maturity All I want is less to do, more time to do it, and higher pay for not getting it done. All stressed out and nobody to choke! All those who believe in psychokinesis raise my hand. Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else. Amnesia used to be my favorite word, but then I forgot it. Another brilliant mind ruined by higher education Anything Free Is Worth What You Pay For It Are you following Jesus this close? As Long As There Are Tests, There Will Be Prayer In Public Schools. BAD COP! - NO DONUT!!! Be nice to your kids. They'll choose your nursing home. Be ye fishers of men. You catch them - He will clean them. Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder... Behind every successful man there is a woman, behind every unsuccessful man there are two. Black holes are where God divided by zero. Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves, for they shall never cease to be amused. Boldly Going Nowhere Born Free. . . . .Taxed to Death. Boy bands. The spawn of Satan. CAUTION! I drive like you do! Caution: I brake for no apparent reason. Change is good...you go first! Change Is Inevitable, Except From A Vending Machine Children are like farts: your own are just about tolerable but everyone else's are horrendous. Clean up America. Kill a redneck! Cleverly Disguised As A Responsible Adult Confidence is the feeling you have before you understand the situation. Consciousness: that annoying time between naps. Conserve toilet paper - use both sides. Cover Me I'm Changing Lanes Death is the consequence of being alive. Diplomacy is the art of letting someone else get your way. Do not play a leap frog with a unicorn. Do not put a question mark where God put a period. Don't Be Sexist - Bitches Hate That Don't believe everything you hear or anything you say. Don't believe everything you think. Don't judge a book by its movie. Don't miss heaven for the world. Don't steal, the government hates competition. Earth Is The Insane Asylum For The Universe Ever Stop To Think And Forget To Start Again? Every silver lining has a cloud. Few women admit their age, few men act it. Follow your dreams, except the one where you’re at school in your underwear. Give blood and you too can get a free bumper sticker. Go On, I will See You At The Next Light. Growing old is inevitable...Growing up is optional. Have you ever had deja vu? Have you ever had deja vu?? He Who Hesitates Is Not Only Lost But Miles From The Next Exit Honk if you hate noise pollution! Honk if you love boy bands - then drive into a tree. Honk If You've Never Seen An Uzi Fired From A Car Window How Can I Miss You if You Won't Go Away? I Do Whatever My Rice Krispies Tell Me To I Don’t Suffer From Insanity, I Enjoy Every Minute Of It I don't find it hard to meet expenses. They're everywhere. I gave up drugs, sex and booze...it was the worst 20 minutes of my life. I Just Got Lost In Thought. It Was Unfamiliar Territory I just let my mind wander, and it didn't come back. I miss my wife, but my aim is getting better. I took a pain pill. Why are you still here? I want to die in my sleep like my grandfather...not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.... I’m Out Of Bed And Dressed – What More Do You Want? I'd love to trade caller I.D. for "Caller I.Q." I'd rather be a failure at something i love, than a success at something i hate. If everything is coming your way, then you're in the wrong lane. If it's tourist season, does that mean we can shoot them? If my car were a horse, I'd have to shoot it. If you can read this I have lost my caravan. If you can read this, I can slam on my brakes and sue you! If You Can Read This, I've Lost My Trailer. If you can read this, roll me over. If you think the way to a man's heart is through his stomach...your aiming too high. If you write "WASH ME" on my truck, I'll carve "RECESSITATE ME" on your chest!!! I'm against ABORTION because I was once a fetus. I'm looking forward to regretting this! I'm not as dumb as you look. I'm so hungry I am farting fresh air. I'm the kind of person my parents want me to stay away from. IRS: We’ve Got What It Takes To Take What You’ve Got. It's bad luck to be superstitious. Its not that i'm afraid to die. I just don't wanna be there when it happens. Jesus Is Coming! Look Busy! Lord, please save me from your followers. Mirrors can't talk. Luckily for you they can't laugh either. My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch. National Atheist's Day April 1 Objects in mirror are dumber than they appear. Of all the things I've lost I miss my mind the most! On The Other Hand, You Have Different Fingers Please don't hit me I'm a pedestrian trapped in a car. Quiet brain! or I'll poke you with another Q-tip. Save a tree, eat a beaver. Some People Are Alive Only Because It’s Illegal To Kill Them The Big Bang Theory: God Spoke and BANG it Happened. The sky is always bluer at the top of the windshield. They told me I was gullible... and I believed them. This Would Be Really Funny If It Weren't Happening To Me Warning: Dates in Calendar are closer than they appear. What happens if you get scared half to death twice? What If There Were No Hypothetical Questions? WHEN GOD MADE MAN, SHE WAS ONLY JOKING. Who is General Failure and why is he reading my hard disk? Why can't women learn to put the toilet seat back up? Women are born leaders, LOOK you are following one now! Your village called, their idiot is missing.
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